This lady can talk.

I followed behind Becky as she strode through the Mall hallways, those unfortunate enough to amble in her path met with what can I only imagine is a death glare. Crowds parted, couples broke their handholds and cleared their paths, tough looking mallrats lowered their shades at our approach and stood to the side with a single nod.

"Listen, kid," I'm just going to assume she's talking to me despite not looking at me, "if you want to make friends the first step is actually approaching them, not standing outside their windows and fogging up the glass."

My mouth moved on automatic, jaw starting to hurt, "How do I do that? How do I know if they want to be my friend?"

At this point I'm barely cognizant of the words spilling out of my mouth. I've done more talking with strangers today than the totality of the last couple of months. She spits out words like a machine gun. Reminds me of a boss fight in Ellen Ring, I couldn't even think, just had to keep moving.

"Easy." Becky turned around and started walking backwards, swinging her bulky helmet around like a nunchuck.

"If there is one thing everyone wants it's to be wanted. But not in like some kind of weird way. You approaching them is basically the same thing as you admitting that they are interesting," the smirk on her face grew a bit sharper, "everyone likes feeling like they are the main character of their own life, even if they lead the most boring life on the planet."

A bunch of kids Luna's age dressed up as anime characters threatened to bump into Becky as they took photos in front of a empty storefront, all 6 of them crowded into the small alcove of the entrance to dodge her helmet.

"Right," I turned to the group and flashed a smile to them, surprisingly they smiled back, even gave a little bark, "I guess compared to me everyone leads pretty interesting lives. I mean, all I usually do is explore greenbelts, forests, abandoned factories, and buildings whenever I have to make myself scarce around the house. Other than that I play videogames and read comics.

"Those guys we just passed," I bobbed my head to the teens in the distance, "they were all dressed as maids and dogs. In public. That seems way more interesting than anything I have ever done."

Becky laughed and rose an eyebrow, "Is that something that interests you? Dressing up as a maid dog boy?"

I scratched the back of my head as we made our way to the escalator, "Not really. I guess what I find interesting is what kind of life they live where dressing up like that is something that you do for fun. Like, what kind of life do they live? What is a dog doing being a maid? Are they like werewolves?"

Becky snorted and shook her head, "No, it's like some kind of anime thing."

I furrowed my brow in confusion, "I don't really watch a whole lot of anime."

"Well," Becky shrugged her shoulders and stepped onto the moving stairs, "I guess that's something you can talk about with them. I probably would stay away from the one who winked at you with the glasses, that's Chaz's little sister and she has troubling search history."

Out if reflex I inspected the bottom floor as we descended. Mall cops are looking placid, scanning QR codes on the walls to signpost that they are doing their circuits. Reminds me a bit of non playable characters in a RPG stuck in walk cycles.

Becky turned towards me, "That's what they are doing? I guess I never put two and two together. I thought it was some geocache thing or an ARG app…"

I have no idea what those words are but nodded anyways.

"Sorry, I was rambling to myself. I'm usually here with my sisters, they have a tendency to stir up trouble."

"Really?" Becky blew a gust of wind through her nose that tickled the sweat on my forehead, "even Leni? She's usually not the one to start drama, at least willingly…"

Her last words came out a little wistful, like the start of some plot thread that I don't really care too much to follow.

"Yes. Leni takes sales quite seriously," I nodded and stepped off the escalator, "she used to have trouble with being assertive but my sisters and I changed that. I think it's for the better, I think I worry about her less now."

Becky puckered her lips and nodded thoughtfully, "That's cool, that kind of explains a lot about the stories I've heard about her from Mandee. Good for her, good for her."

Becky started walking in the opposite direction from the movie theater. I froze.

"Sorry, Becky," I called out, "my bike is on the other side of the mall. At the theater. Thank you for the conversation."

Becky spun around on one foot and walked up to me before I could sprint away.

She looked down at me with a smirk, "Alright, be that way. I'd ask for your number if I needed help babysitting Waffles in the future, but I'm too old to be hitting up preteen boys for their numbers."

I quickly nodded, "Yes. I know about the danger of strangers, I've watched a video about it at school. It had a rapping alien. You can ask Lori or Leni to relay the request."

Becky repeated my nodding motion and spoke in a goofy voice, "Received, cadet. Have a great summer, that's an order."

She gave a mock salute with a wink and turned around, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. I watched her for a bit, she must have good peripheral vision to be typing while walking. Lori is good at that too.

Usually after a conversation as long as that one I feel a deep relief, like a weight dropping off of my shoulders. I still feel kinda relieved to be alone again, but more like the feeling of the complete screen at the end of a level. I think I would have scored a B- for that encounter, enough to pass it and repeat the level with a different character.

Back when Lori was in the house she probably would have made me repeat the level until I scored an S++.

I adjusted the straps on my backpack and walked on.

The inside of the movie theater lobby was dark, darker than usual. Cardboard cut out displays of all the different movies were on display. A gaggle of kids stood in front of a Blarney stand with their parents taking photos. They stood in my path and I waited patiently.

After a good 8 minutes the mom noticed me and gave a worried whisper to her husband, he took one look at me and grabbed his kids and they fast walked away.

I gave them a wave, a smile too.

Now that they were gone I had the display to myself.

It was pretty large, and a faithful recreation of Blarney's 3D design used in the movie after the original actor passed away from old age. Blarney stood on a raised pedestal of fake grass, his arms enveloping two cutouts of a boy and a girl. I liked how they made his smile out of plastic, I wish my teeth were that straight.

I pulled out my phone. I'd probably be able to take a selfie in the cutout, me in the boys head and my hand clutching my phone through the girls head. But I don't think I'd get the angle right.

"Man, I'm freaking glad we are getting rid of this thing," came a voice from behind, "gives me the mad creeps during closing time."

I froze. I think I recognize this voice.

"Dude," came another voice, this one a bit more deeper, "don't talk shit about Blarney, he helped me through some tough times as a kid."

Two figures emerged from behind me, completely ignoring me as they inspected the ad.

A ladies voice from behind said, "Shut the fuck up and do your goddamn job."

Judging from their uniforms they work here. Black polos and jeans. But I recognize them from school.

The one with the glasses spoke over his shoulder, "Yeah, with pleasure…"

From his back pocket he withdrew a box cutter and clicked it open.

The guy with the shaved head socked him in the shoulder as the other one moved in for a stab into the cardboard boys gut, "Dude. Have some respect. Plus, we got people in the lobby and Jugs is on our case."

A black haired lady who looked about Lori's age smacked the shaved head guy with a clipboard, "What the fuck did you just call me, Anderson?"

"Jugs," said Anderson as he hissed, "I thought you were cool with the nickname. My bad, Mags."

Glasses guy clicked his box cutter closed and sighed, "Dude. In what universe do you think Maggie is okay with that name."

He adjusted his glasses and smiled at the lady, but he wasn't making eye contact with her, "I apologize for the scene, I'll make sure to inform him about the ignorance of his behavio-"

The lady smacked glasses boy with the clipboard and pointed up at her face, "My eyes are up here, virgin. And don't damage the ad-"

She stomped off to the entrance of the lobby and grumbled, "My dad says that we have to return it to get our deposit back. So how about you boys try something new and don't fuck something up for once."

The boys blew raspberries at the lady.

"What is it with you and Mags?" the bigger one elbowed Glasses as he gently dislodged the Blarney display from the platform, "You do know she has that senior boyfriend. He has a fuckin' muscle car. You don't even have a bike."

Glasses just clicked his tongue as he roughly unhooked the boy and girl cutout with a kick, "Yeah, keep running your mouth. We'll see who has the last laugh when he moves out for college."

Anderson gingerly placed the Blarney display to the side, his smile fading as he clicked his tongue at Glasses, "Okay. That's just kinda weird, and obsessive. Jugs doesn't like dudes who stare at her tits like you do. Plus, she's into experienced guys. She told me."

"Bullshit." Glasses scoffed as he tossed the cardboard to the side, "When the hell did she say that? Plus, you say that but my dad says that the world is a zero sum game, you get what you put in. And he bagged my hot as fuck step-mom so: what the fuck do you know?"

I felt my spine relax a bit. My dad says the same thing too, but with different words. Hard work is rewarded. Maybe other people's parents give out the same advice to their kids.

"Er…" I spoke up, holding my hand in the air, the two of them whipped my heads to scowl at me, "from where I'm standing it seems like he might have a chance if he gets some experience. Maggie's boyfriend has some time before he moves out, so maybe if he gets some experience Maggie might see him as desirable."

The two froze and slowly squinted their eyes at me.

Glasses was the first to speak up, "See. Even the weird kid gets it. You can't just waltz up to a lady and expect her to say yes, you have to romance her. Make her feel safe and protected. That's when you swoop in and-"

Anderson held up a hand and clamped down on Glasses face and shoved him into the tile, "Why the hell do you think the weird make-a-wish kid's opinion would matter in this scenario? I've never once seen Creamsickle interact with a chick besides give Taylor a black eye when she fucked with him on the bus that one time."

He looked up at me and gave a tight frown, "Also, mad sorry about giving you that wedgie. Didn't know you had problems."

"Uh…" I wasn't aware that I had problems but nodded anyways, "It's cool. I'm sorry about closing that window on your fingers."

He quickly flashed me a thumbs up, "You're cool in my book, dork. Not a whole lot of little shits in your grade who actually own a pair."

I think I remember these two now. They used to terrorize me on the bus while I was reading my comics, beating me up and stuff. I had to stand up for myself after Lynn threatened to get involved, turned out to be an awkward situation.

Gave a girl a black eye on accident, I'm kinda used to dealing with my sisters. They're made out of heartier stuff.

No excuse though.

I don't feel proud about what I did. At all.

I started walking home after that first week in 6th grade. Which turned out for the better, gave me time to decompress after school.

"Hey, dude…" Paulo waved my mumbles away with a palm of his hand, he still was laid out on the floor, "It's all piss under the urinal or whatever. You don't gotta beat yourself up about it- Taylor likes it rough, anywa-"

Anderson stepped on Paulo's chest with a black slip-proof shoe, "Paulo. Creansickle is a innocent kid. Remember what Ramirez said? He's off limits. Plus, we're going into Highschool. Picking on babies has gotten a bit stale."

I laughed, "It's cool, Anderson. I'm not that innocent!" I hiked my thumb to my chest, "Yesterday I stayed up past my bed time to play Ellen Ring."

I inspected my nails, "It's rated M but I didn't tell my parents that."

"Yooooo!" Paulo shot a fingergun at me and sprung to his feet, "I've seen some streams of that game, it's dope as hell."

Anderson nodded as he rolled up the pad of fake grass off of the raised pedestal to reveal a wooden pallet, "Be careful with staying up all night, dude. It'll stunt your growth and you'll be a shrimp forever."

"Just like Paulo over here," Anderson snickered and socked Paulo on the shoulder, "we're on the clock, asshole. Set the characters on the pallet and help me move this shit."

"Bro, you just hate me cuz I got game." Paulo casually tipped the cardboard characters on the pallet and kicked the roll of astroturf on top of them, he shot a cocky smile at me, "Chicks dig short kings, dude. The height difference makes them feel like they are in charge."

Paulo tapped his head and winked, "Chicks are all about headgames. It's like my dad always says: play along with their games and you'll get head."

I nodded, I never really thought of it like that, "Thank you for your wisdom, Paulo."

I also am pretty sure he is implying something, but I don't know what.

"Man…" Anderson frowned at Paulo with his fists on his hips, "stop polluting Creamsickle's brain with your vulgar dogshit."

"What-the-fuck ever, Anderson." Paulo shrugged his shoulders and gripped one end of the pallet, "He'll wise up eventually, now help me move this shit before Mags gets on our case."

Anderson sighed and gripped the other side and lifted it up, "Right. Whatever."

"Good talk, kid." Paulo bobbed his head at me, "Sorry about shoving you in that locker that one time, but you did break my nose."

I nodded as I followed them, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. My name is Lincoln by the way."

Anderson's face flashed in recognition, "Oh yeah! Lincoln Lame! Dude. You're pretty cool man, dunno why they call you lame. Maybe because of the polo."

That can't be right. Polo's are cool. I shook my head.

"I think its probably because I didn't have any friends and kept to myself," I replied as I opened a door for Paulo who was struggling to kick it open, "I'm working on that now. I have two friends- maybe three, a comrade, and I also am talking to one of my sisters friends. But she's already my sisters friend, so I don't think she can be my friend. That would be weird."

Anderson nodded as he pushed the pallet into the dark backroom, "Yeah, good idea. You chat up one of your sister's friends and things break bad you'll have to worry about them whenever they come over to do chick stuff. It makes taking a piss in the middle of the night whenever there is a sleepover kind of awkward."

Paulo shoved his shoulders into a light switch and a series of large overhead lights shot on, he laughed, "Is that why you have those piss bottles in your room? Because you're afraid of running into Shelby? You went on like one date with her."

"That's one more date than you'll ever have, loser," Anderson barked as he pushed the pallet into Paulo's chest, he rolled his eyes and frowned at me, "trust me dude. Do not get tangled up with older chicks. Not worth it. You think it'll be something casual, and then a week later she's knitting you a sweater. I told her that I didn't even like sweaters."

I nodded as I tried and failed to keep my concentration to the conversation. The ceiling seemed to stretch on forever, boxes piled high for stuff like toilet paper and soap dispensers. I wonder what would happen if gravity reversed and we fell to the ceiling like in that issue of Muscle Fish when he fought Gravotaur at the Yankee stadium.

Paulo adjusted his glasses and looked up while walking backwards, "Good question, Creamsicle. That's, like, gotta be at least 40 stories or some shit. I'd probably aim for the shelves, maybe all those boxes would break my fall."

Paulo lowered his head down to smirk at Anderson, "And I'm not gonna take being called a loser from some freak who pisses in bottles."

"Man, fuck you," Anderson sighed and looked up at the ceiling, "my ass has had to sleep in the garage for the last three days. I think she's been sneaking around my room, it's giving me the creeps."

He shivered and rose his eyebrows at me, "Yeah, the boxes might work, just make sure you roll with the drop."

The two of them set the pallet down gently and nodded at each other.

"So what's next?" Anderson asked Paulo.

"Well, shit…" Paulo took off his glasses and scratched his chin with them, "Probably make sure the snack counter is stocked up. Maybe bread up some tenders and do some prep work since the lunch rush probably deplete-"

"So that's where you two idiots are."

We all turned around to see Maggie. Unlike Paulo and Anderson Maggie was wearing a multi colored polo and a funny looking hat. She looked pretty angry, I'm pretty sure her dad owns the place so I don't want to make her angry.

"She's always angry, dude." Anderson slapped my back with a laugh.

Paulo sighed and threw his glasses back on, "Just in time, Mags. What's next on the docket?"

"Clean up the bathrooms," Maggie rolled her eyes and stomped over to a row of old theater chairs and took a seat, "including the individual ones. Make sure you hose down the baby changing stations, lot of little shits came in today."

Anderson scratched his head, "Tad hit those before he left to clock in at the nerd cave. Probably should be good for another 45 minutes."

Paulo messed with his watch and nodded, "Yeah, we'll make sure to check those then and in the meantime stock up-"

Maggie clicked her tongue and crossed her legs, "Do you know why I got you two chucklefucks jobs?"

Anderson stepped forward with a cocky smile, "Prolly because pretty much everyone else quit once you started working here and none of your other friends could handle you in a professional setting?"

Paulo crossed his arms, "Because I look damn good in a uniform?"

"No. I hired you to do all the shit that I don't want to do. You both know Tad is sloppy at the tail-end of his shift," Maggie spoke through gritted teeth, "Now do your fucking jobs."

"Fine." Anderson sighed and ran his knuckles on my scalp, "Nice catching up, bro."

It hurt, but I still found myself laughing. By reflex I elbowed him in his sternum, "So, we're friends now? I'm your bro?"

Paulo socked my shoulder and laughed at Anderson, "Damn dude. You almost knocked the wind out of him, nice."

Paulo dragged a coughing Anderson out the warehouse, "Yeah, bro. We'll hang soon. Probably gonna hit up Gus' after the shift."

Maggie didn't look up from her phone as she shouted, "And fucking tell Taylor to scram from the entrance. She's bad for business."

Paulo stopped in his tracks and turned around, he squinted his eyes and hissed, "Bad for business? The fuck you just say-"

Anderson quickly took Paulo by the shoulder, "Dude. We put on the uniforms. We know the score. So does Taylor. We can give Mags shit about it when we take them off."

Anderson and Paulo left and I heard Anderson's voice as they closed the doors behind him, "Guess this is how you treat your friends. Real fuckin' nice."

I was now alone with the sullen black haired girl. I probably should have left with them. What the heck am I doing here anyways?

I guess I should at least be polite and make a conversation with her.

I walked up and spoke, "Hello."

The girl quickly looked up from her phone, "Jesus christ! You're still here? Scram! This is employee's only!"

I nodded quickly, "Right. Maybe now's not the time to make friends…"

I wanted to start running but there was this odd intensity in her stare that froze me solid. Kinda like Basilisk Babe from Muscle Fish.

"Did you just call me a babe? What the fuck are you mumbling about?" Maggie jotted her chin forward and looked at me in confusion, "Speak up!"

I shut my eyes and spoke, "I don't know why but I am very uncomfortable with this situation. I should have left with those two. I just wanted to help them out with moving the stand, and opened the doors with them. I'm sorry for being here."

When I opened my eyes she was looming over me.

She slowly squinted her eyes at me, "Wait. Your that Lincoln kid. The weird one."

She let a single laugh and crossed her arms, "I thought you'd have a stutter or something. Or were, like, mute."

I shook my head, "No. I was always good at annunciating my consonants. If I didn't my sister's Lori and Leni told me that I'd have to go to a special class full of kids who eat glue, because they had to go to one when they were kids."

Maggie let out a mocking laugh, her grin at odds with her knitted brow, "Wait. Lori Loud?! Lori, used to eat glue? That's rich."

I nodded my head, my movement uneasy, "Yeah. She was young and didn't know any better. How do you know Lori?"

Maggie snarled through the corner of her mouth, "That bitch used to babysit me."

My blood ran cold. Mind running back to Waffles.

"What did she do to you?" I whispered.

Maggie smirked and leaned back into her chair.

"She taught me how the world works." her eyes went up to the ceiling and she was quiet for a bit.

"Y-yeah." I nodded, "she taught me a lot of stuff too."

She lowered her head and the shade from her bangs obscured her eyes, "So you get it, huh? I guess you grew up with her, makes sense why you kept to yourself. You see everyone for who they really are, don't you?"

I gave another nod, this one microscopic. I didn't want to, didn't want to understand.

But I think I know.

Maggie smiled, her warm tone at odds with the venom spitting from her mouth.

"It took me a lot to figure it out, so much wasted fucking hours trying to make nice with a bunch of posers who just laugh at you behind your back," she leaned forward in her seat, "But from your smile I know you know just how stupid it is. You know that they are all fake bitches."

There it was.

I could almost hear Lori's voice in the back of my head.

"Yeah, I can kind of understand why you would think that," I laughed, "people are mean to me all the time, my whole life. They don't even wait before I'm out of eyeshot to make fun of me…"

Her smile faltered and I held up my hands, "Don't get me wrong. I don't like the idea of making friends. But I have to. And it's been pretty fun so far, but I know that being optimistic is literally stupid."

I shoved my hands into my pockets and tried to make out her eyes a bit better.

I saw myself in the dark pits of her eyes. I bet I look like a clown to her.

"I guess from where I'm standing I feel like I don't have a place to judge other people, for being fake or whatever. Because here I am, a total loser, stepping up to people and actually talking to them. To get them to like me."

I laughed and looked up at the ceiling, "And if that doesn't make me the fakest person on the planet, then I don't know anything. I kinda wish you were younger so I could try to be your friend, even if you don't like fake people like me. But Anderson told me not to make friends with older ladies. That's a shame, because I think you understand the reasons of why I was so shy."

Maggie was silent for a while. Her face slowly broke into a small smile.

"Good. Because I'm done with making friends," she laughed and tossed me a bundle of wires, "you can go ahead and make as much friends as you'd like, and I'll be there to tell you that I was right when they stab you in the back."

"So," I held the wires in my hand and looked at her in confusion, "if you don't want to be my friend then why do you want to talk to me?"

Maggie shifted in her seat and pulled out her phone to hand it to me, "Because I'm bored. And because I don't think you're as fake as you claim to be. You probably hate them all more than I do-"

I opened my mouth to admit that I don't really hate anyone but she cut me off.

"Make yourself useful and take my phone, plug it in the outlet behind me," she hiked her thumb behind her, "my shift ends soon and I want you to keep me company."

I took the phone and stepped over the chair to the left of her to plug in her charger, I might as well take this opportunity to charge my devices.

"Sure." I nodded to myself as I took my powerstrip out of my backpack and plugged it in, "So if you aren't my friend, what are you? Sorry if my questions are annoying, I just don't know a whole lot about talking to people and stuff."

Maggie turned around in her seat to shoot me a smirk, "I'm the worst thing that ever happened to y-"

Her pale face paled even more and she pointed a finger down to my stuff, "What the hell is all that? Is that a taser?!"

I gave a slight frown. Here I was thinking Maggie was cool.

Notes:

Maggie is here, just in time for the Holidays.

Maybe a little bit late.

I'm hoping you're not too upset by all the cussing in this chapter.