Mother's Day.
Chapter 2: Grounding force.
A sweet Upstead married short story, set after 9x09. This first chapter was only supposed to be a one-shot, but all of the reviews were so positive I thought I'd write another chapter, so, please, let me know what you think of this. I do have some more chapters planned if you like it. We need some Jay/Hailey fluff :)
I do not own Chicago PD or any of the characters.
It was now Jay and Hailey's second Mother's Day together since they had married. They had only been married for a year and they agreed that the timing wasn't right for them to have a baby of their own, but they told themselves that they would know when the time was right. Hailey knew that, when they did have children, this day would be full of live and love, rather than sadness and death. Jay wanted that, too. The unit, and Platt, of course, knew that they were married, but Jay and Hailey always kept their personal lives away from work. Private.
That morning, Hailey was the first to wake, which was unusual because Jay was the lighter sleeper, but, when she looked over at her husband, she knew why. Jay was whimpering in his sleep. He was having a nightmare. This day brought back memories of his mum's death and illness and, with that, brought memories of his time of discharge from the Army. Hailey inwardly sighed, before she spoke softly, "Jay, Jay, wake up. It's me, it's Hailey. You're in Chicago, you're safe." She knew not to touch Jay when he was in the middle of a nightmare.
Jay woke up with a scream and sat up abruptly and Hailey jumped up with them as his eyes darted around the room before they found hers. Her bright, blue eyes. The eyes which grounded him, which brought him back to the present. The eyes of his wife. He closed his eyes and inhaled deep breaths, listening to her soft voice, telling him, "Jay, you're in Chicago, you're safe." Those were always her words.
Now fully awake, Jay jumped out of the bed and ran into the bathroom, vomiting into the toilet, clutching the side for support. Even though Hailey wanted to follow him in there, she knew that he needed space, so she left their bed and waited outside of the bathroom, letting Jay know that she was there. She was ready to take him back to their bed, to make him feel sad. He was her partner, her husband. On wobbly legs Jay emerged from the bathroom and the first thing he did was pull Hailey into a tight hug and she held him close, rubbing her hands through his hair in an affectionate way. She soothed his hair and his neck, before she looked into his eyes and whispered, "I'm here, Jay, I'm not going anywhere."
Jay's response was to nod slowly and run his hands through her ponytail, before Hailey slowly moved him back to their bed, where they sat down and she pulled the covers over him, sitting to face him. She waited for him to be ready, never letting go of his hand.
Staring at the wall ahead, but still holding onto Hailey's hand to keep his mind where he was, Jay inhaled a deep breath, before he said, in a shaky voice, "I wasn't in Afghanistan. I was here. In Chicago." He tore his eyes away from the head towards Hailey and found her eyes, before he said, in a broken voice, "I was- I was watching my mum die, Hailes." Without saying anything, Hailey wrapped her arms around her husband as he started to cry again.
An hour later Jay had gone for a run and Hailey had texted Voight to tell him that she and Jay were going to be a bit late to the district. Voight didn't ask why and she didn't offer an explanation, but she knew that their Sergeant wasn't an idiot. She hated this day. She always had, because of her own mum, but now she hated it for her husband's sake, even more than she hated it for herself. It caused him so much pain and, besides on the anniversary of his mum's death, this was the worst she had ever seen him. Without thinking about this too much, Hailey grabbed her phone and called Will. "Is Jay OK?" Was his first question.
Pressing her lips together, Hailey sighed and said, "I'm sorry if this upsets you, Will, but Jay woke up this morning, with a nightmare, about your mum dying."
All that Will said was: "I wasn't there, Hailey."
Hailey bit back to response that she knew that: She knew that Will had been in New York, studying and also partying, a lot, according to Jay. Her husband had returned from Afghanistan, after a medical discharge, traumatized by what had happened during his two tours, suffering from PTSD as well as physical injuries, and he returned to care for his mum until she died. Hailey knew that that had combined the traumas of Afghanistan and his mum's death, forever. She knew that Will still felt bad about not being there and she knew how much he loved his brother, so she didn't say any of that. In as soft of a voice that she could manage, Hailey suggested, "Will, I think Jay really needs your support today, you're his brother and you both loved your mum, so much." She wasn't trying to guilt-trip him, she was trying to do the right thing for her husband. "I'm not trying to guilt-trip you, Will, I just think that Jay needs his big brother today."
There was a long silence on the other end of the phone, before Will finally replied, "You're right. I'll call him later and we'll go out for a bear."
"Thanks, Will, I really appreciate it." Without another word, Hailey ended the call. As she was standing there, her eyes landed on her wedding ring. From this day forward, I choose to join my life with yours. Her and Jay's lives were joined and always would be, that was how they both wanted it. She almost jumped at the sound of the door opening and closing and Jay walked over to her. He looked slightly better than he had done, but still looked exhausted and pale. His green eyes searched Hailey's blue ones, as if he knew that there was something she needed to tell him. Of course, he had been her partner for years. "I-er-I was spoke to Will, told him about earlier and he said he'll call you so that you guys can get together tonight, so you can spend some time together."
Raising his eyebrows, Jay looked at Hailey as if she were crazy and shook his head. "What? Why did you do that? I don't want to see Will on this day! I don't know what I'll say to him." He shook his head and murmured, "I can't believe you did that, Hailey."
All that Hailey did was tilt her head and say with a voice full of love, "Jay." Slowly, she reached out for his hands and threaded her fingers into his. With that one action, she could feel the tension leave his body. Jay closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, then opened his eyes and looked into Hailey's eyes. She was his grounding force and he knew that she was right and he shook his head, in an apologetic way. Hailey gave him a small smile, before she continued, "Jay, I know, I know this is really hard for you and I know that you'll always carry this with you and you know I'll carry it with you if you ever want to talk about it more, but you and Will need to talk about this. I know you might never be on the same page, but, you need to." She paused, then added, knowing her husband's mind, "Don't do it for him. Do it for you."
Jay's green eyes shone before he nodded slowly and he looked down at their joined hands. He ran his fingers against Hailey's wedding ring before he turned his attention back to Hailey. He exhaled a deep breath, before he smiled softly and said, in a soft voice, "You're right. I'm sorry, Hailes. I-It's so hard to talk about it, but I need to. How did I get so lucky, with you?" As if answering his question, Jay kissed her temple and Hailey closed her eyes at the simple touch. Keeping his lips against her temple, Jay whispered, "I love you."
"I love you, too, Jay, so much." Hailey whispered back, before they embraced in a tight hug. Jay knew that this day was going to be just as awful as it had bene since his mum had died and he knew that his conversation with Will was not going to be easy, but he also knew one thing: He was coming home to Hailey, his wife.
In the evening, just after 11, Jay felt as if he was still carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Will hadn't been there, when their mum, when Jay had needed him, he had been away partying, while Jay had been there, caring for her, after suffering so much in the war. There was never anything the two brothers could do to reconcile that, but they had agreed to, finally, move past it. Their mum wouldn't have wanted their differences to damage their relationship, especially when they had worked so hard to rebuild their relationship in the previous years. Acting on total instinct, Jay walked straight to their bedroom, where he knew Hailey would be waiting for him. She was, reading a book in bed and her hair was down and wavy, just how Jay liked it. Her blue eyes pierced him, but she didn't ask anything.
In total silence Jay changed, then crawled into bed next to Hailey and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as close as he could. He kissed her curly hair and inhaled her scent before he whispered, "It's you, Hailes. You bring me back to this world. If it weren't for you, my mind would always here over there."
Hailey smiled softly and kissed the top of his head as she asked, "How did it go, with Will?"
"We'll never agree, but we'll move past it. We have to, but I wouldn't have gone if it weren't for you."
Nodding slowly, Hailey just said, "I know."
Jay exhaled a deep breath and mused, "This day sucks, doesn't it? For both of us." He looked down at their hands, where their wedding rings were and he smiled softly as he looked up and whispered, "Hailes, next year we should go away this weekend. Have some time together, away from this. Away from this day."
Looking into Jay's green eyes, Hailey whispered back, "That sounds perfect, Jay Halstead. You and me, against the world."
With a smile on his lips, Jay nodded, "Always, Hailey Halstead." He pressed his head against hers, then kissed her softly, before they both settled into bed and fell asleep, holding each other. No matter, they would always support each other. They both knew that it wasn't the right time to have a baby of their own, but, in her sleep, in her subconscious, Hailey pictured their baby daughter, waking her and Jay up, on a future Mother's Day.