Mother's Day.
Chapter 3: No time is ever going to feel right.
A sweet Upstead married short story, set after 9x09. The first chapter was only going to be a one-shot, but reviews were so poisitve, so here is another chapter. I can't wait to hear your thoughts :)
I do not own Chicago PD or any of the charecters.
Another year of marriage passed for Jay and Hailey and it was that day again. Mother's Day, only this year, Jay and Will had gone out together the night before, to remember their mum. Hailey was so glad, and Jay was glad that, last year, Hailey had encouraged him to see and talk to Will. He knew that he would never have done that without her. Hailey's own mum had texted her, asking if she wanted to have dinner with her and her brothers. Hailey lied and told her that she was working that evening. She didn't want to risk her father being there. She also didn't want to leave her husband alone on this day, considering how difficult this day always was for Jay. He hadn't had any nightmares leading up to this day, with the memories of his mum's death and his discharge, so Hailey was glad about that. Jay and Hailey could hardly believe that they had been married for 2 years now. 2 years. She had been Hailey Halstead for 2 years. At work, she was still Detective Upton, but she would always be Hailey Halstead.
Before their shift Jay had taken Hailey to his mum's grave, where they had sat for hours and Jay had talked to his mum and so had Hailey. Last year, Jay suggested that they go away on this day, so, in the evening, the two of them were to going to go the cabin in Wisconsin, to away from this day and the different kinds of pain which it caused both of them. Their plan had been to go away for the whole weekend, to be away from this day, but they had a triple murder case and Voight had made it clear to his team that they needed to see this case through before they went anywhere for the weekend. So, their overnight bags were in their lockers, ready for the case to be over, so that they could leave and be away from Mother's Day, be somewhere where it was just the two of them, together.
Throughout their shift both Jay and Hailey had noticed that Kim was acting differently, as if there were something bothering her and this had been the case for a couple of weeks now, so when Kim suddenly stood up and ran to the locker room, Hailey looked across the desk and her husband before she followed. Jay glanced at Adam, but he didn't seem to notice. Jay didn't know if he and Kim were back together or not, but Jay knew that Adam cared about Kim.
Jay didn't normally get involved with the unit lino one others did; his PTSD made him more of an introvert, something he knew anyone but Hailey didn't really understand. "Ruze, is Burgess OK?"
Adam glanced up at him slightly and nodded, "Yeah, she's fine. Don't worry about it." He paused, then added, "If she's not back in a couple, I'll go and check on her." Jay nodded silently and returned his eyes to his computer, wanting to find a lead to close this case.
Hailey found Kim vomiting into the sink and she closed her eyes and waited for it to be over. She didn't want to get into Kim's space, especially if she was ill. It had been a really tough case. Hailey wasn't too surprised when Adam turned up and put his hand on Kim's back gently, telling her that she was alright. Tilting her head, Hailey watched the two of them and she guessed that they were back together. That kind of affection couldn't be there if they weren't. She absently touched her own wedding ring, thinking about Jay, her husband. They wore matching black, rubber wedding rings and Hailey loved them.
Kim and Adam talked quietly to each other before Adam glanced at Hailey and walked away and Hailey gave Kim some time, before she asked, "Are you alright, Kim, you've been doing that quite a lot recently."
Slowly Kim turned around to face her before she answered, "Yeah, I'm good, Hailey. I-er- I guess there's no point in hiding it and I'm past 12 weeks now, so…." That caught Hailey's attention and she looked at Kim as Kim's face broke into a smile of the purest joy Hailey had ever seen, "I'm pregnant, Hailey."
In a second Hailey walked over to Kim and pulled her into a hug, before she asked, "I don't want to overstep, but I'm assuming it's Adam's?"
Kim blushed and replied, "Yeah. Yeah, it is. We're not- we weren't back together when it happened, but we are now. We're together again and we're going to make it for, for us and for the baby and Mak is already so excited about having a baby brother or sister."
For some reason a lump formed in Hailey's throat. She didn't know why, but she swallowed against it as she said, "Kim, that's amazing, you and Adam deserve to be happy and you'll be the best mum in the world."
"Thanks, Hailey." Kim paused, before she asked, "Do you think you and Jay will have a baby?"
Hailey shrugged as she pressed her lips together before she replied, "We're just waiting for it to be the right time." She felt as if she was justifying herself, but she knew that wasn't Kim. It was her own feelings.
With a smile, Kim replied, "No, I get that. I really do. I mean- this baby wasn't planned, but it feels right, this time." She smiled wistfully, thinking about her miscarriage, before she added, looking at Hailey, "You and Jay will know when the time's right."
"Yeah, I'm sure you're right. When are you going to tell Voight?"
Kim nodded and smiled, "We're going to tell him when this case is solved. Thanks, Hailey, for listening."
Hailey smiled and bobbed her head, placing a hand on Kim's shoulder to show her support. "No problem."
Finally, the case was solved and all that Jay and Hailey wanted to do was get their overnight bags and head to the cabin, to be away from their weekend, to be together. Just the two of them. Just as Hailey retrieved her overnight bag, Hailey felt someone's eyes on her. It was Platt. Still keeping her bag on her shoulder, Hailey asked, "Is everything alright, Sarge?"
Platt sat down on one of the benches, clearly ignoring the fact that Hailey was still holding her overnight bag and was ready to leave for the weekend, to spend time with Jay. Platt's eyes went across her as she observed, "You're not a big fan of this day, are you, Goldilocks? Neither is Chuckles."
Bobbing her head, Hailey replied, "Yeah, that's definitely true, but it's far worse for Jay, it makes him really miss his mum."
"Yeah, that must be tough. He was so young when she died." There was a silence before Platt asked, "Have you heard Kim and Adam's good news?"
In shock, Hailey's eyebrows raised. She hadn't expected that, so she slowly put her overnight bag on the bench and sat down, facing Platt. Slowly nodding, she replied, "Yeah, I found out today, from Kim, it's great news, isn't it? They really deserve it and it's sort of- fitting that it's on this day; by this time next year, Kim will be a mum." There it was again. That lump in Hailey's throat and she didn't understand it. Maybe it was just this day. It made her think about her own mum and about their relationship- or the lack of one.
In a matter-of-fact tone of voice Platt just replied, "OK, so are you and Chuckles thinking about having a baby?"
Looking at Platt in the eye, to try to avoid the feeling she had had when talking to Kim earlier, Hailey shrugged and pressed her lips together. "We're waiting for the right time."
"Hailey," Trudy very rarely employed her first name, so that made Hailey look up at the older woman, but this time, looking at her properly, "there is never going to be a time that feels right. Never. And, I don't want to be overly personal here, but you're 35. It won't get any easier and I think if you don't try, you'll regret it. I know I do. I was so focused on my career, I didn't think about it until it was too late." Hailey could see the emotions swimming around in Platt's eyes and in her voice, so she gave her a small smile and a nod. Platt stood up, smiled and all she said was, "Enjoy your weekend away with Chuckles."
In a soft voice, Hailey replied, "Thanks, Trudy."
Meanwhile, Adam was talking to Jay about how excited he was to be a father and Jay wasn't totally listening, but he smiled as he saw Hailey walking over to them, with her overnight bag over her shoulder. He clapped Adam on the back, told him congratulations before he and Hailey headed to the car. They hadn't been to the cabin since marrying. It was going to be a break away from this day, just the two of them.
The drive to the cabin was quiet and, as soon as they arrived, they sat on the sofa and Jay wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed the top of her head. "Hailes, are you good? You were very quiet in the car." He paused, before he asked, carefully, "Has your mum texted you again, wanting you to have dinner tonight?"
Hailey smiled softly because Jay was worried about her, even though she knew that this was a really difficult day for him, far worse than it was for her. It wasn't just that he missed his mum, which he did every day, but it brought back memories of his last tour and when he was discharged, when he came home from Afghanistan to care for his mum who was dying. Hailey loved him for that and for so many other reasons. Shaking her head slowly, Hailey replied, "No, Jay, it's nothing like that, I was just thinking about something Trudy said." Her husband's eyebrows pricked up in interest, so she continued, "It's just- when Kim asked me why we're not trying to have a baby, I said what we always say: It's not the right time." Blue eyes met green, trying to gauge her husband's reaction, but his green eyes were totally calm so Hailey continued, "When Trudy was talking about it to me, she said that there's never going to be a time that feels right and, to be honest, I'm 35, so it isn't going to get easier from this point…" Hailey trailed off, not sure of what else to say. It was unlike Hailey to be lost for words.
Jay shuffled on the sofa slightly, but never broke eye contact with Hailey. Green eyes never left blue. Resting one of his hands against her cheek, Jay clarified, "Are you saying that you want to try to have a baby?"
Mimicking Jay's action of shuffling on the sofa, Hailey put her arms around his neck and she replied, in a whisper, "Yes, I am."
With a full of smile of love and happiness on his face, Jay asked, "Well, what are we waiting for?" His lips found hers in a passionate kiss before his hand left her face and found her waist, as Hailey moved closer to him, with her arms wrapped around his neck. Pulling away for a second, Jay looked into Hailey's eyes and told her, "You're my wife, Hailey Halstead, so I love you more than anything in the world. You and me. Always."
"Jay Halstead, try to stop me from loving you more than anyone else." Hailey joked, with her blue eyes shining as they looked into each other's eyes for a couple of seconds, before they started to kiss passionately again, holding each other close.
Afterwards, Hailey fell asleep in Jay's arms, with her ponytail against his skin and Jay looked down at her. Her black wedding ring shone against her pale skin and he smiled to himself. Hailey was his wife and the woman he wanted to share children with. Lovingly, Jay kissed her forehead, before he settled his own head next to hers and closed his eyes, with his arms wrapped around her. This was the best Mother's Day he had had since his mum had become ill. It was always going to be him and Hailey, always.