A/N: For anyone who needs a refresher: mynocks are the creatures that attached themselves to the Millenium Falcon and scared Leia/pissed off Han in The Empire Strikes Back.
Chapter 20. Second Swim
Fever dream high in the quiet of the night, you know that I caught it
Bad, bad boy shiny toy with a price, you know that I bought it
Killing me slow, out the window, I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below
Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes
What doesn't kill me makes me want you more
- Taylor Swift, Cruel Summer
In the thin book of my and Anakin's torrid history, several fateful days are earmarked. The ink of too many bled into blots from tears staining them with tragedy. Most of these decisive pages, for better or worse, are known to others sharing in the events themselves. Thanks to the HoloNet, a few are even known to the public at large.
The very best days, I'm happy to say, belonged to us alone. I have tucked these all-too-rare instances into the very folds of my heart where no tabloid journalist, no Jedi, and no enemy can smear them. They are as sacred and safe with me as are the children a mother watches over in sleep.
The day of our wedding is an obvious but beautiful example, however, there's one that came much sooner— one which will live on vividly and preciously in my remembrance. It was the single day when responsibilities and recent grief were a memory, and the pains to come in the immediate future had not seared us just yet. On this impossible treasure of a day, the galaxy and its demands kept their distance and, to the detriment— or salvation— of all, let us be a man and a woman falling in love. From the late morning when I found him in the library, our felicity in the grassy fields, all the way through and past the setting of the sun till the stars above bore silent witness… it is a day I could relive a thousand times in full and never tire of. It was completely, whole-heartedly, ours.
It was the kind of day and night that the incubus who became my husband would spend decades trying to forget.
That's exactly why it must be told.
Anakin had a masterful way of making me forget the mantle of responsibility on my shoulders. In his honeyed company, I would often fail to remember I was a representative and that millions, even billions of lives were affected by my actions or lack thereof. My galaxy became the warmth of his back as we rode. My administrative hands— still clasped round his middle— forgot half-inspiring handshakes with duplicitous Senators; my fingers and palms only knew the subtle forward and back movement with every inhale and exhale Anakin's diaphragm produced. My forearms— so often weighted by the sleeves of heavy gowns— could feel the muscles in his abdomen contract every time he leaned or rebalanced us. I did not hear the pounding on senatorial pods of the Galactic Senate, or if I did, their rhythmic pulsating only materialized as the thumping of Anakin's heartbeat against my eardrum.
This shrunken-world, elemental haze from the meadow did not abate until the villa was in our sights. Even then, it only shifted. By the time we'd reached Varykino I'd sought to put all questions on pause and permit myself the freedom to feel, not to think. Of course, I'd been in the 'thinking' vein for so much of my life that I even approached feeling with analytical questions. It was a dash of scientific enterprise with a dollop of primal exploration, as if in the course of one shaak ride my life had become a research experiment. The hypothesis? What would happen if— just for one day— I truly stopped the questions, lived in the moment, and then saw what the world looked like at tomorrow's dawn? What if, for one recess, I dropped the prison bars… and let the vixen out to play?
Upon our return to the lodge, Anakin and I parted at the garden gate. With us having been gone for a few hours and my safety never far from his mind, my protector wanted to check in with Captain Ardimon before our swim. Contently lost in my thoughts as I slowly moved through the villa towards my bedroom, I didn't realize I was eavesdropping on Nandi and Teckla from around the hallway corner until the tones of their forlorn voices registered.
"There's always next year," Teckla was saying without any spirit.
"I had to miss it last year when my father was sick. We were both looking forward to making it up this time." Nandi's elegant but now wistful cadence.
Both of their eyes went wide as they came around the corner nearly the same time as I and all of us suddenly stood face to face. Immediately, their hunched shoulders straightened, and they hurriedly bent for bows. "Milady," the young ladies murmured in unison.
Nandi's face perked back up with a quick smile. "Did you enjoy your picnic?"
"We did, thank you. The food was perfect." I studied the pair, their unfiltered remarks lingering in my ears. "I couldn't help but overhear… What were you talking about?"
The women opposite me eyed each other, jaws slacked. Teckla spoke first. "Nothing, milady. Just chatter."
I gave an expectant look to Nandi. It took a few seconds of pointed silence, but she broke. "Well… There's a festival happening in the village tonight. Tuilë Sóna."
"Tuilë Sóna?" I repeated, although not necessarily surprised to hear this answer; it was the right time of year for it. Tuilë Sóna— a very old, mystical holiday— is celebrated just one night in the annual Naboo calendar, but it is unique to the remote villages of the Lake Country alone. As a little girl, great-grandmother Leia got half her stories about nymphs and fairies from sitting by the midnight bonfire and listening to the village elders entrance all who listened with their magical tales. I looked between the two ladies opposite me with an excited smile. "Well, that's wonderful. You should go."
Their eyes went wide. "Oh, no, we cannot," Teckla chimed first. "You're here, milady. We must stay to attend to you."
"We'd have to leave soon, and, well…" Nandi's voiced trailed off with a small, apologetic shrug. I smiled, completely understanding the unspoken words. Once villagers reached a certain age, they were allowed to drink the herbal ale and exhaust themselves dancing around the bonfire till dawn. Stories of magical creatures may have been for the children, but adults relished in more active delights through the night.
"And if you go, you won't be back in time to serve breakfast." I finished Nandi's statement with a nod. A solution began to brew in my mind. I wanted to help and show thanks to the maids who had taken such excellent care of me and Anakin since our arrival. "Well." A grin conspiratorially spread across my face as if it were a plot unfurling before their eyes. "I think I have an idea that will allow you to be of tremendous help to me and Anakin, and get you on your way to the festival."
For the second time in three days, I found myself staring down at elastic potentials laid out on my bed.
This time, however, there was a new option on the figurative table.
The previously shunned swimsuit was front and center.
I gently sank my teeth into the plumb skin on my thumb whilst looking down at the ensemble. It was two pieces, black as midnight without a moon, and more a collection of straps than any discernible shape. I did not know where or when my handmaiden got it, and I wouldn't have comm called her to ask at that moment even if I safely could. I could easily enough imagine the look on Dormé's face when she realized I was considering wearing it.
No. That was lie, and I've promised to be honest in the account of our story.
To say I stood there considering whether or not to wear it is to give me far more credit than I deserve. In the back of my mind, I think I knew what swimsuit I was going to put on the moment I felt Anakin's grip on my waist just after our tumble in the meadow.
It wasn't reason that slowly guided my hands to pick up the top piece, nor the bottom next. It wasn't logic or even coherent thought that I listened to as I stripped myself of my golden dress and donned the black straps. I was only conscious of the addictive, increasing race of my heartbeat as the adornment came together.
When I last put on a swimsuit before our first venture in the water, I made a point not to look in the mirror before I left the room. This time, I stood plainly in front of the glass, not hiding an inch. I wanted to know what he was going to see.
I'd felt like a girl in the meadow, but a woman was very clearly standing in my mirror.
But she wasn't ready just yet. I took down the crowns on either side of my head along with their attached horizontal headband. My fingers picked out leftover bits of grass embedded in the strands— souvenirs from our tumbling which became tangible whispers on the tile floor. The girlish ribbons had to go; their thin, pastel fabric would tatter in the water. There were no braids now, as I let my wavy tresses down in full. Throughout the transformation from golden girl to adult woman in bared black, I almost felt as if I were shedding the shield of youth and naivete which I no longer wished to carry. Aware enough of the presence of others in the house who weren't Anakin, I donned a short robe chrome in color before making for the exit.
I unknowingly left a version of myself in that room who would never exist again. Even at that moment, on her way out the door wearing her chosen swimsuit, she was far more innocent, demure, and confused than the woman who would return to cross that bedroom threshold after the swim.
I do not miss that original iteration. I do not mourn her; neither should anyone else. There was a great too much about love and passion she did not yet know. They were polite strangers to her, whereas now, they are as familiar and inseparable to who I am as the marrow in my exhausted bones.
"And you're sure the beasts from the core can't reach us here?"
I repressed a smile at the obvious edge in his voice. Anakin and I were finishing our stroll to the beach. The hem of my robe danced in the breeze mid-thighs, while he was clad as he was on our last trip to the water— thin beige tunic above black swim trunks.
"Mm-hmm. Of course, I don't think the state of the caverns is regularly checked… All it would take is one wall of rock to come down in the right place, and then even the baby oppe sea killers could swim their way through."
If possible, Anakin went pale under his tan. "Oppe sea killers?"
"You've heard of them?"
"I have." His eyes scanned the water nervously, as if he expected to see one suddenly jump out of the surface and land on the beach before us. "Gungans call them gooberfish."
With overt casualness, I sunk my toes into the pebbled sand as we left the grassy path behind us. "Don't worry. If a baby gets through, you'll be dragged under and drowned before it can gnaw you to death."
"That isn't funny."
I only laughed lightly in response. Aware that Anakin's eyes were still on me, as they always were, I took a deep breath and a parted my robe at the chest. If I hadn't thought I looked at least a little pleasing in the swimsuit I wouldn't have worn it. Discreetly, I watched him under my lashes to gauge a reaction.
He didn't say a word, but his expression told me all I needed to know.
Anakin was nothing if not a man who expressed all through his eyes. Over time, he learned to tweak his general face to his will— first to conceal his resentment of Obi-Wan and the other Masters while in their presence, and later to hide from his pregnant wife the bludgeoning induced by torturous nightmares. He learned to smooth down the vein that protruded on his forehead when he became stressed, as well as his other tells— the rapid blinking and pinched brows when he was nervous, the way his left cheek would twitch a little more than the other when he became upset. Of course, there were times— light and dark— when the mask fell away and he reveled in not needing to hide, but before and even after his self-tutelage, the eyes always gave him away. Those blue pools he could never tame. It was the giveaway proof of our secret marriage that consistently concerned me the most, the slip I always feared would out us— and not just because of the unadulterated manner in which my husband looked at me, but because of the helpless way I reacted whenever he did.
There's a public library of Anakin's gazes, an expansive repertoire, but I alone as his love was granted access to the reserved section. It was a private catalog just for me, and it ranged from the sweet and shy to the smoldering and intently lustful. At the moment my robe became a puddle in my left hand and my black array displayed itself across the breasts and nether regions, he looked at me as if he wanted to consume not my body, not my heart— but my very soul.
And yet, the way his eyes slowly trailed from my feet up to my face made it very clear he wanted to start his detailed consummation with my body.
The magnetic tension which first sparked in my dimmed Coruscant apartment crackled to life between us. Anakin stood a good eight feet away from me on the beach, but I felt just as alive as I had under his weight in the meadow.
"Another offering of Dormé's?" His hand loosely waved in the direction of my body; its nonchalant movement utterly betrayed by his eyes. If I'd left a girl behind in my room just now, Anakin's stare reminded me he had long ago left the boy back in his.
Anyone with two neurons in their brain would've picked up during the holocall at Edum Bloom that my wardrobe was credited to Dormé. But I shook my head. Taking ownership, I answered, resolutely, "Mine."
His eyes darkened, but he only nodded in reply.
Silence hung between us for a moment, and with it the sound of lapping water and the nearby birds faintly registered somewhere in my distracted mind. Last time we stood on this beach, I primly shied my vision when Anakin removed his tunic. Now, I openly watched as he lifted it up and off in one swift movement. Then it was my turn to look with appreciative eyes.
The glint of his lightsaber ricocheted a runaway beam of sun. I'd easily noticed it under his thin garb, but as it now hung on his hip in the free air, I tilted my head in confusion at the exposed sight of his full belt. "Are you planning on going to war on the island?"
He gave me a smirk in response. "I'm hoping not to." A more reluctantly serious chagrin passed over his face. "Obi-Wan has given me enough grief about not keeping my saber with me at all times."
I rose an eyebrow. "Man-eating flora is on other planets— not Naboo, thankfully. I think you'll find the flower petals on the island will pose no threat to your lightsaber." I shrugged. "Of course, if it makes you feel more comfortable to have it—"
Fingers were already detaching the clip holding both ends of his belt together. "I think I can go without it for one quick swim." He piled the belt with its assortment of attachments in his hands. The cheeky grin returned. "But don't tell Obi-Wan."
"I won't."
Another blithe secret. It's amazing how they begin as such small, innocent saplings and then sneakily grow like vines to suffocate a pair of lives. By the end, Anakin and I were not unlike the two pillars smothered by green on the terrace between our bedrooms. Oppressed, even through our beauty.
Leaving his weapon behind did not equate leaving it free and clear out in the open. Anakin aptly hid the lightsaber, its belt, and his tunic between two ragged bushes near the beach. For good measure, I added my robe to the sheathed pile. While doing so, I fixed him with a mischievous eye. "A quick swim, you say? So, you intend to keep to your promise and not drown? Or are you implying that you won't make it very far?"
We stepped towards the waterline together. "Better than that," he answered, with that lop-sided smile that tightened a coil in my belly. "I'll race you to your precious island."
My chin set in a competitive warning as the most extended waves stretched themselves over my toes, beckoning me in. "I was the fastest in my family, Ani. Are you sure you want to race me?"
Despite our burgeoning contest, cobalt eyes shone with joy. All the same, he eyed my form again with a skeptical air. "Tall words for a, well…" At his unmistakable appraisal of my height, I let out a cry and shot forward into the water. As torrents nosily crashed against my thighs the further I embraced the lake, I could hear his laughter close behind as our race commenced.
The bliss carrying my weightless body was even more sublime this afternoon than it had been two days ago. The thrill of competition faded multiple times as I paused to delectably be in the water, as if I was continuously reborn by the undulating waves. Every meter of water I coursed through washed more awareness of the outside world away. Whenever my head peeked up to focus on the island in front, it felt like the small land was a representation of the freedom and privacy I'd craved since the first moment I felt an attraction to Anakin. Impatient, the weightless bliss would erase itself, and I'd charge again towards the finish line. On and on this cycle repeated as we left Varykino Villa in our wake.
As we neared the final destination, it became obvious that Anakin— who until now seemed to stay within range of me— had been holding back. As I came up for air through my freestyle, I could see he was outside of a distance where I'd have any hope of overtaking him. My swim student was about to best me at my signature sport.
It's not that I wasn't above letting him win our little race fair and square. I would've respected the end result, even if it meant I had to deal with Anakin's smug victor's smile for the rest of the afternoon. And after all, there was still the swim back— a chance to tie the board. But my companion was due a little revenge for his shaak fall in the meadow.
I purposely hung back behind him until a good twenty feet separated us in the water. I could tell when his feet dropped down and made contact with the lake bottom to carry him onwards vertically. As he began his ascent out of the water in the direction of the beach, more and more of his back became visible as he stepped towards his winner's podium.
I filled my lungs with a deep, steadying breath. Then— "Ani? ANI!" I gasped with as much panic as I could muster. His head snapped my way at my stricken tone. "The oppe!" My eyes strained wide for extra effect. "It's got me!"
Here began the act in my play when I started screaming "My leg!" over and over while pretending to fight some alarming entity which was trying to pull me under, all while Anakin charged towards me in a blur of upended water.
"Padmé!"
With my exaggerated thrashing about, I could only barely see the terror-stricken look on his face as he swam towards me like a targeted missile. Karma delivered, I started laughing before he reached me, but so caught up in the moment was he that I felt his hands rub up and down each leg from knee to foot. Within seconds, my would-be rescuer discovered he'd come to save me from a killer that wasn't there.
Panting hard, we used our arms and legs to tread the water as he studied me rapidly. I watched realization shift his face into a bewildered smile. "You tricked me?" He asked it in a near wheeze, as if half-shocked that I would dare, half-madly impressed.
"Mmm, no," I replied, a galaxy-wide grin stretching across my face. "I'd be much too frightened to tease a Jedi."
"Why you little…" With an enthused smile, he rushed forward and pulled me into his grasp. But I was ready this time. I locked my forearms behind his neck and wrapped my legs around his lower torso. I held on with all my might as his fingers tried to use their grip on my hips to throw me through the air like he had two days ago. But catapulting me with his feet solidly on the lake floor was quite different from having to pump his own legs just to stay afloat. I shrieked with excitement and resolve as the slippery state of my body and my death-grip made it even more difficult for him to separate us.
Even through his efforts, his grin was wild and shaken by laughter. "This must be what a mynock is like," he grunted. His hands were everywhere, fighting to find leverage around my thighs one second and my lower rib cage the next. I struggled to stay attached as we briefly wrestled, knowing full well this was not a show of strength I could ultimately win.
The same moment he finally found his grip was the same second I found mine.
"Wait!" I warned, my left fingers wrapped securely around his wet Padawan braid. He froze as my hold registered quickly. "If I go, this goes with me."
We eyed each other through our battle stares, bodies panting with roused breaths. Our limbs stayed where they were through our sudden ceasefire— my legs locked around his waist with my right arm clutching the back of his shoulders, his hands high and wide around my thighs. Anakin tilted his head and smiled. "Your negotiation tactics are to be commended, milady."
"Politician," I sing-songed, calling back to his affront in the meadow and belatedly sticking up for my breed.
He regarded me with eyes full of vigor and affection. I half-expected him to jet his lips out and kiss me. In such a moment, I'm not sure I would have pulled away.
"Fine," he announced. "You want to stay? Stay."
With that, he suddenly propelled us forward until his feet found the bottom of the lake again. Keeping me to him, he took large steps towards the beach, rising us both up out of the water with every long stride.
"Ani!" I squealed, though I made no show of trying to escape. If anything, the more weightlessness fell away and gravity took its place, the more I tightened my various grips around his body.
That said, the more our bodies emerged from the surf, the more visible and obvious our flushed contact became. The water had acted as a curtain to our brazen touch, but it fell away in the bright light of the sun.
Anakin carried us a few steps beyond the waterline but noticed my sudden quiet. No doubt a shade of pink was staining my cheeks, too. Carefully, he lowered me down as I unlocked him from my legged grasp, till the heels of my feet sank into the warm sand. I looked up at him as I took a timid step back. He was studying me. Nostrils slightly flared as he continued to breathe a bit heavily from his physical exertions, but his attention was solely on my face. Translucent beads streaked down his arms and front in thin rivers as I took in the sight of him. I watched one such liquid stream descend from his hair line, trespass through his left eyebrow, and make its way to the eye below. I resisted the urge to reach out and wipe it away, as he eventually did.
Gods, he looked beautiful in the sun. It was no wonder he'd come from a planet with two.
"Do you," I licked my lips, vividly aware of the racing pulse of my heart. "Do you want me to show you around the island?"
His full lips seemed to hesitate for a moment before they parted in a small smile. Then he nodded. "After you."
A/N: Final Reminder that this is not a fanfic for kiddos. Anakin is a 19-year-old male looking at a woman who's the doppelganger of Natalie Portman. Padme is 24 and looking at Hayden Christensen's twin. While this is not a smut fic (or, at least, not actively trying to be), the characters will not be neutered here, either. They will react given the situation as authentic adults with hormones. Also, as I believe physical chemistry and touch was a big part of Anidala's relationship, that's the version I'm writing. If you're a minor or otherwise under the age of appropriateness... Come back in a few years, my doves. This fic will be here for you then.
If you prefer neutered depictions, let this be a lite indication of what's to come so you can adjust accordingly.
But... if you're old enough, and you like clutching your pearls... have 'em handy.