Chapter 100

Tommy knew Rosie was angry with him. But he also knew her anger was subsiding and that part of her irritated - and, truth be told, irritating - banging around the kitchen the next morning, her slamming down of bowls and banging her spoon off the side of the pot of porridge she was making, was because she was angry with herself that it was subsiding.

He knew she felt he ought to be punished. He knew she thought what he had done was wrong. But he also knew she had thought on what he had said, had probably been up half the night thinking on it, and he knew some part of her understood him, justified him, the way he did himself (without any real need for soul searching on his part) - whilst some other, academic, idolising part of her thought of Esme and the principal of the thing.

It was, he imagined, the same internal battle she had confessed to having with how she felt about obeying him, about wanting to please him - whilst feeling like she wasn't living up to her political ideals, to her beloved Sylvia, because of it.

'Do you think it makes me a bad woman, Tommy?' - that was what she had asked him. All that over thinking and self blaming - like it was her personal burden to shoulder the bloody women's movement - and the result was simply a block in the way of her own pleasure.

This time, even though she'd said herself the girl was excited, and even though she knew John's kids needed a full time, proper mother, she was blocking the peace of mind she would find if she'd just accept it...

And he knew part of her wanted to accept it, even if she thought it was wrong, because she knew the girl wasn't going to be hurt, because she knew John's kids would benefit and because she understood his reasons for doing it. She hadn't told him not to do it - that alone was proof she was on her way to making some sort of peace with it.

It was just that he had to cling on with both hands and all his strength whilst the journey was being undertaken. Had to ignore the smirk Polly had thrown his way that morning and John's, "What the fuck have you done now Tommy mate?"

But, he figured, she was worth the wild ride - and being the cause of his family's sniggers. His mind wouldn't have been anything like as taken with a woman who obeyed him without question, as loathe as he might be to admit it. He liked that she thought for herself, held her own opinions. But it would do him no good to have a woman who was disobedient for the sheer sake of it either. He wouldn't settle then. He wouldn't know peace.

Still, for the peace she would give him when she did come to her conclusions, she was determined he wouldn't know it in that moment. Not him or any of the rest of the house.

"Woke me up!" Lily told her accusingly, coming into the kitchen in her nightdress, rubbing her eyes and frowning at her older sister.

"It's nearly nine o'clock, everyone else has been up and working for hours," Rosie said unsympathetically.

Lily did that little imitation of him, where she tilted her chin down and her eyes up to glower at her sister - but Rosie had already turned back to the range and was adding more water into her porridge (though Tommy suspected it didn't need it and it was purely being added so she had an excuse to whack the spoon off the side of the pot again.)

Lily huffed then clambered up onto his lap, settling there and he circled a hand around her, hugging her against him, too glad at the notion that at least one of the Jackson sisters was openly showing him affection that morning to find it in him to chide her for the look she had just given Rosie.

He had forgotten how Ada used to be, when the schools had first started back after summers. When she had been used to being home all day and then had missed him when she had to go back - how she had followed him around the first few weekends. Him and Freddie and Danny and Arthur and all of them complaining about her, even if secretly he hadn't been all that bothered.

It had only been the first few years though, and then she had gotten more interested in her friends than him.

As for Finn, well, Finn's first few weekends after having his freedom revoked seemed always to involve stroppy behaviour and a bit of over reclaiming of freedoms that he hadn't had in the first place. Both the previous Septembers had found Tommy and the kid out the back and Finn eating his dinner standing up before the month was out. Polly had said it had been exactly the same when he'd been away. Hopefully, this would be the year Finn grew out of it. It was a bloody unpleasant business, dealing with his brother's misbehaviour, and he didn't enjoy a minute of it. A necessary unpleasant business though, as so much of unpleasant business was. He needed Finn obedient, able to follow orders.

As if he had known he was being thought on, Finn appeared - dressed, unlike Lily.

"Any bacon?" his brother asked, wrinkling his nose at the bowl of porridge Tommy had pushed aside when he had had it placed to him fifteen minutes or so before in favour of a cigarette.

"No, there's porridge, which is better for you," Rosie replied, turning triumphantly with a steaming bowl of the mush in hand and coming to put it loudly in front of Lily, before telling Finn, "You sit down and I'll get you some."

"I'm going ou-" Fin started to say, but he didn't get to the end of his sentence.

"You are going to sit down and have some porridge!" Rosie turned and spoke loudly over him, her hands going to her hips as she stopped in front of the sideboard where the bowls were kept.

Finn's eyes went very wide. She hadn't shouted at him, exactly, but it was probably the closest she had ever come. They'd all heard her shrieking when she was worked up about things - the way she'd been when they'd come in all bloodied and bruised after their boxing practise, for one - but she didn't generally bark orders at the youngest Shelby.

The kid plopped down into a chair, seemingly more from shock than from any desire to eat porridge, and turned to Tommy, questioning silently what was going on, not quite daring to speak.

"She's in a bad mood," Lily supplied, seeing the look, before picking up her spoon and sticking it into the porridge.

"I am not!" Rosie protested, turning around and looking genuinely surprised that it had been noticed, "What gave you that idea?"

"You're banging," Lily said simply with a shrug as she slurped down the breakfast.

Rosie looked down at the bowl in her hand then set it very quietly down and ladled porridge into it before saying, slightly defeatedly, "Well I wasn't aware I was banging."

Tommy wasn't sure how that could be true, but he instinctively believed it to be so. Her inner feelings perhaps expressed themselves physically without her noticing because she was so bloody taciturn.

And, he supposed, it was a good thing. Because she had always been taciturn and yet, when he had first started visiting her in the shop, there were no giveaways to her thoughts - physical or otherwise. She had been an entirely closed book. The expression now indicated that at least she was relaxed enough to forget herself, to allow that physical expression to happen, unconciously.

"You woke me up," Lily tried again, seeming to think there was an opening for sympathy.

She might have had more years with her sister than Tommy had, but his experience of women in general meant he had known, even after her admission about being unaware she was banging, that Rosie was to be treaded softly around that morning.

"You should have already been up!" Rosie flared at once, "Look at Finn - he's up and dressed and you're scuttling about in your nightdress!"

"I'm not scut-!" Lily started to annoyedly protest, but this time it was Tommy who did the cutting off.

"Why don't you just eat your porridge bab, eh? Then you can get ready and we'll go see Uncle Charlie and your horse, alright?" he suggested, squeezing her.

She looked up at him, still making up her mind about whether or not she was going to argue or agree, so he raised an eyebrow and gave her one of his sterner looks. She sighed, slumped her shoulders and stuffed her spoon in her mouth.

Rosie put a spoon and a bowl of porridge to Finn. Tommy hid a smile when he realised Finn had enough experience of women - or perhaps, more accurately, of Polly - to know to simply pick up his spoon and eat.

"Are you taking Katie with you to Uncle Charlie's?" Rosie asked, seeming to decide she'd at least try and make conversation with Lily, for all she'd given him one word answers all morning.

Lily, her mouth too full to answer, shook her head.

"Last week you were desperate to take her," Rosie pointed out.

Desperate was a slight exaggeration, but the bab had asked if Katie could come the week before and when he'd told her no, she had asked if she could come this week instead. As it was, he was perfectly happy that she wasn't pushing for it this week, keeping an adequate eye on two of them and the horse was more than he reckoned he'd pull off successfully.

Lily swallowed and shook her head, her blonde hair scraping against his waistcoat as she pushed into him and looked up to say, "Just us."

"Just me and my best girl, eh," he replied, squeezing her again.

She nodded, then caught Finn's eye as she looked away from him and back to her porridge.

"You can come if you want," she offered, obviously feeling gracious.

Finn shook his head then answered, porridge flying across the table, "Nah, you're alright - I've got plans."

"Swallow your food and tell me what they are," Tommy told him, his earlier reflections on Finn's usual September antics making him instantly suspicious.

Finn swallowed and shrugged, "Nothing you'd be interested in Tommy."

"Still - get it told."

"Kick the ball about - Isaiah's bringing people from his street over, we're gonna have a proper were thinking about going up the park."

"Just as well you told me what your plans were then eh? So I could approve it before I had to come home and smack you about the place for going where you don't have permission to go. You've got our street, Garrison Lane and Isaiah's street - everything else is still a case of come in and bloody ask, you got it?"

Finn nodded, looking a bit put out, then said, "But I can go, yeah?"

"Aye I suppose so," Tommy nodded.

If a kick about at the park - which wasn't too far away - was this year's way of Finn reclaiming his freedom, then that was welcome news to him.

"You coming?" he asked the redhead.

"No," she shook her head, raising an eyebrow, "Someone took me away from my work this week so I have ledgers needing done."

He raised an eyebrow in return.

"Besides," she added, seemingly unbothered, "September's always the last of the good weather - I'd like to get that front room cleared out, beat the carpets and the cushions and scrub the floor whilst I can use out the back before the rain comes. I'm going to take the bedlinen down to the washhouse this week as well, get it scrubbed and a proper outside airing before it's too wet to consider for a few months."

He gave a singular nod. That seemed fair, he supposed.

Whilst Lily ate and Finn pushed his spoon through his own porridge, the Clayton kid, George and Isaiah appeared at the back door and Finn dodged off out with them, leaving eighty percent of what she'd put down to him on the table. Tommy wasn't too fussed about the food, he didn't reckon he'd have much of a leg to stand on if he decided to shout after Finn about it, given his own was basically untouched, but he couldn't decide if the buzz about the kids was suspiciously overmuch for a football game or if it was simply what was to be expected the Saturday after the first week back at school after the summer.

He looked to Rosie, to see if she had noticed anything, but she seemed to be avoiding his eye. He lit a new cigarette, feeling like a grumpy child who was being overlooked by their favourite teacher.

By the time Lily had finished her porridge completely, Rosie had gone through to the shop, retrieved the ledgers and had them spread over the kitchen table, her head buried in them.

"Alright bab, why don't you go get ready - put on your riding trousers," he said, sliding her down to the floor, "And we'll head off, eh?"

She nodded, casting a worried look at the top of Rosie's unruly red head, bent over her work and not noticing the child's face.

"On you go," he told her, gentling his voice and nodding his head in the direction of the door.

He cleared his throat once she had disappeared through the doors, but was forced to demand the redhead's attention by saying her name sharply when she didn't respond to his throat clearing.

"Remember what we've said - when we argue it will not spread out to the rest of the house, you hear me?"

"I hear you," she said, with a grudge in her tone, "But we're not arguing, are we?"

"Not officially, no - but I know you're annoyed with me."

"If you don't want me to be annoyed with you you should do less annoying things," she replied smartly.

He stood up and walked around the table, watching Rosie's breathing quick slightly as he approached, then, when he had stopped before her, he paused for a moment, the two of them eyeing one another before, quick as a flash, he whipped his hand up and took a grip of her, squeezing her cheeks with his fingers, forcing her face up to him, some predatory part of him enjoying the flinch the movement caused in her.

"You're allowed your opinions," he told her, speaking slowly, "You're allowed to be annoyed. You're not allowed to make it so that Lily or Finn notice it, you understand?"

She glowered, then gave as much of a nod as his grip on her face would let her.

"Good," he said, nodding himself and releasing her, "When Lily comes back down you take her out the back and get her teeth brushed and make sure she knows you're not annoyed with her."

"I would have done that anyway Thomas! You know, I hate when you feel like you need to dictate to me as if I'm an idiot!" she flared, her temper short and her irritation levels unusually high.

"You're not an idiot," he said automatically, though rather blankly - too irritated with her on his own part to be able to put real comfort into the words, "But you're banging about here all morning so that I've got John asking me what I've done now and Lily being woken up because of it and you're saying you didn't realise what you were doing - so how am I supposed to know that you'll do what you're supposed to do without a fuss?"

She glared at him, not having an answer spring to her sharp tongue for once.

"You can tell me no, you know," he said, goading her a little.

"I haven't said no, have I?"

"Then act like you haven't said no," he growled, just in time for the door to open and Lily to reappear, wearing her trousers and a cardigan, her hair a mess and porridge still around her mouth.

Rosie stood up and gave him a furious look before turning to the bab and saying, "Come on, let's go get you cleaned up before you go to Uncle Charlie's, eh? He'll be thinking I'm happy to send you out like a ragamuffin otherwise."