It had been a week since the party, and Orihime had missed five days of school.
After spending a few days at Kurosaki clinic, Orihime had convinced everyone she was fine to go home. She had tried to enjoy her time as much as possible staying at Ichigo's home, but she truly felt that she could not heal properly as a guest in their home. She needed to be alone. Alone with her thoughts, alone in her own home where she could properly fall to pieces as necessay.
Her friends had checked on her daily, either by sending text messages, calling, stopping by. One night Tatsuki had come over and made dinner and they had talked about nothing but good things. It had felt like the party had never happened, which had been her favorite part about the visit.
Ishida-kun, as tough as he appeared, was nothing but a teddy bear underneath - but Orihime had known that since the beginning. He had sewn her a new stuffed animal to put next to Enraku in her room, a guesture so considerate that Orihime couldn't help but beam at him when he gave it to her. He had blushed when he had dropped it off, insisting that it was nothing, just something he had made from scrap materials, but she knew better. She had thanked him for spending that time on her and changed the subject, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable.
Sado-kun and Kurosaki-kun had stopped by together another evening, bringing her more food and some movies to watch to pass the time. They had stayed for dinner, and though they were trying to make the visit light, she could see the concern in their eyes the entire time they were over. Orihime hadn't been taking great care of herself, they she knew they could probably see some changes in her demeanor and appearance in the past few days.
While she had showered and changed her clothes, her normal energy wasn't there. Her hair was a bit tangled when she answered the door, and she would have been lying to herself if she didn't admit that they had probably seen the bags under her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping well, and it was evident. She was also a little thin, as she had only been eating enough to sustain her body the past week; so she had lost a few pounds. Her sweats were a size on her than usual, and since they were already oversized, she seemed to be swimming in excess fabric.
Her natural sparkle that seemed to radiant off of her every move was also absent. She was lackluster, a word never used to describe her before.
After they had left that night, Orihime had cried herself to sleep. She was happy to have such caring, wonderful friends, but at the end of the day, when the night creeped in and the sun went down, the darkness always came back and she was always alone to face it. She tossed and turned throughout the night until morning had come.
Orihime awoke tired, feeling like she had only gotten about five minutes of sleep. She had thrown on her school uniform, not interested in combing her hair. Her hairpins lie on her bedside table, untouched.
Orihime sighed, and adjusted her necktie in the mirror.
She didn't know if she was ready to go back, but she really couldn't afford to miss anymore classes. Her Aunt paid for everything based off of her grades, and regardless of what had happened in her life, she doubted that her Aunt would excuse her grades dropping. The party had happened ten days ago. She needed to pull herself together.
So with one last look in the mirror, and a weak, forced smile, she turned on her heel and headed out the door.
;.;
The walk to school was a familiar walk. It didn't take long, but she found comfort in getting back into routine. She was nervous to see all her classmates. She knew they would have questions, and rightfully so; however she didn't know if she was ready to face their questions, and she really wasn't ready for all the attention.
She wanted nothing more than to be a wall flower for the rest of the year.
It was awkward knowing people knew what happened. People knew what had occurred, and even though she was the victim, it made her feel so embarrassed. It made her want to vomit.
She shook her head. She couldn't focus on that. She needed to focus on the positives - like the fact her friends were there to support her, how kind they had been to her the past few days. She knew now more than ever how much they cared for her, she could feel it metaphorically but also physically. She could literally feel their love for her in their reiatsu, like a hug trying to comfort her. She just need to keep her attention on that and turn off her mind to everything else.
She arrived at her class with barely any memory of the walk. Her body worked on autopilot, especially these days. She hoped that she would enter unnoticed, and that she would have the strength to make it through today.
"Inoue-san!"
She stepped into the classroom to see many sets of eyes on her. Expressions ranged some surprised, others concerned, some sympathetic. Most of them were regretful. Orihime looked at her shoes.
"What are you doing here?" It was Ichigo speaking, and he looked surprised to see her. She could see the concern on his face, his brown orbs looking at her questioningly, worriedly. She smiled softly at him, and he furrowed his brow in response.
It was time to put on a brave face.
She took another step into the classroom, and as she did she felt like each step was a commitment to stay. There was no running back home. She needed to move forward.
"I've been out for a week. I'm falling behind in classes and the little blue men are great company but sometimes I need to talk to other humans like me! So I decided to come back today. Routine is good for me." She took a seat in her desk. She felt exhausted already. Maybe she couldn't do this. She looked out at her peers. Eyes were still on her.
She would have to keep up the act for now.
"Inoue-san, are you sure? I mean it's only been a week. I think everyone would understand if you wanted to be home for awhile longer." Ishida chimed in. He looked at Ichigo and they both shared a look of concern. They both felt it was too soon. What she had been through was horrible, and a week was not enough time to work through it. They could tell she was doing her best, but she didn't seem ready.
"Guys, I'm fine, really! I'd much rather be focusing on my coursework then staring at the same four walls. I'm okay to be here. Trust me."
Everyone glanced at each other, concern still evident on their faces but they let it go. It was her decision after all, and it may be good for her not to be home thinking about it day after day.
"So, Inoue-san...um...are you okay? What really happened?" Ryo Kuneida asked. Her words hung in the air, everyone becoming uncomfortable. Ryo had asked the question they were not supposed to ask.
Chizuru and Mahana exchanged awkward glances. Most of the students had heard through the grapevine some version of what had occurred last weekend, but no one really knew the entire story outside of Orihime's friends. When asked about Orihime's whereabouts and the rumors circulating her, no one would answer. When pressed by other classmates, each reacted defensively. Ishida Uryu had adjusted his glasses and simply said that Orihime was alright, but would be out for awhile and if they wanted to know anything more, they would have to wait to hear it from her, if she decided to tell them.
Chad simply did not speak, which was not that unusual for the gentle giant. In this case, it reallt worked in his favor. He just stared at them silently until they left him alone.
Mizuiro and Keigo hadn't shared any details, which was especially odd for Mizuiro, considering he and his cell phone were usually the first to spread the latest news. In this case, however, they said it wasn't something that everyone needed to know, and left it at that.
Tatsuki Arisawa and Ichigo Kurosaki had been the most hostile on the subject when asked, as they had told everyone to mind their own business and to not bother the her with their intrusive questions. There had also been a few threats thrown in there for anyone who decided to go digging their nose where it didn't belong. That was enough to shut everyone up.
"I'm sorry, Ryo-chan. I really don't want to talk about it right now." Orihime politely said, turning red and turning her eyes back to her shoes. She was not about to explain what had happened at that party last weekend in front of everyone. She didn't know what they knew, but she didn't have an ounce of energy to even relive any of it.
Ichigo, annoyed at the situation, shot death glares at Ryo and all the other students. She looked like a statue on display at a museum of gawking tourists, and it made him, and clearly her, uncomfortable.
"Look, everyone, Inoue just walked through the door. I don't think she really needs you guys asking her personal questions right off the bat. She will talk to you when she's ready. And if she doesn't, then I guess it's none of your concern." Tatsuki said, moving to stand by Orihime.
"If I catch any of you interrogating her, you will be the next one out of school for a week." She added. The other students moved to their desks, averting their eyes and attention to other things, though they still sneaked a peak whenever they thought Orihime or Tatsuki weren't looking.
"Arigatou, Tatsuki-chan."
;.;
The first few classes had passed by slowly, and by lunch Orihime wondered if time had stopped completely. The coursework itself was fine; being in the top three in class meant that she knew material well and studied hard often. Missing the past five days hadn't slowed her down much, which she was thankful for. She would have to stay after one day to make up a test, but her teacher had told her that she could do it whenever she felt ready. Ochi-sama had been very supportive and understanding - Kurosaki Isshin had stopped by had delivered a doctor's note for her. Orihime had thought that kind of him. Even though she had no real parents and her brother had passed, her nakama had stepped in and took care of her just like family. She would be forever indebted to them, if she hadn't been before.
Orihime took a seat on some soft grass underneath a tree. She guessed Tatsuki would come find her once she reached the courtyard. For now, she took this moment for herself. No one had asked her questions since Ryo-chan this morning, but she could see their glances and hear their whispers when she would walk by. It made her feel uncomfortable, like she wasn't a part of the class anymore. She felt like an outsider to people she had known for years.
She pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes, taking a long deep breath in of fresh air. She loved the smell of the outside world. The trees, the grass - everything was so crisp and fresh. The blooming flowers and the bright blue sky set a beautiful background for the day. It was a nice contrast to how she had been feeling lately- dirty, ugly, dark.
The wind whipped her long auburn strands around her, and from a passerby she looked peaceful there underneath that tree, with her knees pulled to her chest and her chin resting on top of them, eyes closed and a serene look on her face.
She hadn't packed a lunch today, she knew she wouldn't be hungry. She was also out of food and needed to go to the grocery store, but hadn't found the time nor energy to run that errand. Instead, she decided to use this period to relax for the first time in awhile. She struggled to sleep in her lonely, dark apartment. Here, under this tree, she felt safe. There were people around, laughing and talking, and the sun was out, casting protection over the princess.
Of course, she knew that bad things could happen in the middle of the day, she wasn't stupid; but it was similar feeling of a blanket providing safety from the monsters in the night. Irrational and illogical, but still, it was comforting.
A hand on her shoulder sent her world crashing down around her.
Orihime whipped her head around, and with a look of horror on her face, blindly swung at the offending hand. A small scream had escaped her lips, and though brief, her classmates had heard it.
"Inoue-san!" she heard, and in that moment, she realized what she had done. Ryo-kun stood, hunched over holding her stomach in pain.
"Oh, Ryo-kun! I am so, sorry! You startled me. I didn't realize it was you.." She blurted out, horrified. She had never struck anyone like that before, let alone a classmate and friend. She cringed in shame and embarrassment.
"Inoue-san!" She heard again, this time footsteps were accompanied with it. She turned to see Tatsuki, Uryu, Chad and Ichigo running towards her. She winced in regret.
"Ryo-san, are you alright?" Uryu asked, stopping next to Orihime. He glanced at that healer and saw the horrorified look on her face.
"Yeah...yeah, I am fine. She just hit be really hard in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me."
"I am so sorry, Ryo-chan!" Orihime yelped again, putting her face in her hands. She was still on her knees, and her hair fell in front of her face. She wanted to disappear.
"I never knew you could hit like that. It's my fault, I shouldn't have come up behind you." Ryo said, adjusting her skirt and standing upright. "I definitely won't be doing that again."
"I didn't realize it was you - I just reacted without thinking. I am so sorry." Orihime murmured again.
"It's fine. I was coming to talk, but we can do that later. Don't worry about it, it was an accident. At least now I know you can throw a punch!" Ryo said. She reached her hand out to help Orihime up, and she took it, pulling herself upright.
Ichigo had been watching the exchange from across the courtyard and saw Ryo approach Orihime, who was lost in thought. He had seen the look on her face when Ryo's hand had touched her shoulder without warning. He had run over with everynoe else, trying to help.
He knew Orihime wasn't ready to be here, and he knew now she probably felt worse for hurting a classmate. He swallowed, unsure of how to help her.
"It's okay, Inoue. Ryo knows it was an accident. Don't beat yourself up about it." He said, hoping to comfort her but not knowing how. He hated seeing her this way. He was hoping she would have looked better from the other night Chad and him had visited, but she didn't. She looked a little worse, if he was being honest. She still had dark rings under her eyes, which seemed to have gotten darkr, and her school uniform was definitely looser than it was a few weeks ago. Her hair was combed and properly in place today, hairpins not present for whatever reason, but her movements were tired and her eyes dull.
He should have just killed the man responsible. It would have been so much better for everyone. They would all have peace knowing they no longer existed in this realm.
Orihime looked back at her shoes.
"I can't believe I hit Ryo-chan. I don't think I can ever forgive myself. " Orihime said quietly. She felt so much shame for so many things. She had to get away. She needed to run someplace away from here to work through her feelings and find herself again.
And so she did. She ran. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she couldn't stop until she was far away.
"Inoue!" "Orihime!" "Inoue-san!" Her friends called, but she did not look back at them.
::.::
A/N: Yeah, I know. It's been like, a REALLY long time. I am sorry for that. I have had a lot of personal things going on in my life and for awhile I didn't even have a laptop at one point. Mostly, I lost my inspiration and passion for writing. I always lurk on , but I haven't posted anywhere in awhile. I will try and get back into it, but my loyal reviewers deserved another chapter and more effort from me. Thank you to all those who reviewed after all this time. You patience and kindness is appreciated.