Wiz:The bounty hunter. Galactic pirates of living beings.
The crystal gems scoff at the mention of bounty hunters, many times back then the Diamonds had sent several Gem bounty hunters. They never succeeded however they were still trouble.
All of the Diamonds looked at each other a little embarrassed of their past actions.
Boomstick: They blow shit up for cash.
Wiz: A prime example is Boba Fett, the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy.
Boomstick: But don't forget Samus Aran. She's so badass, whole planets explode when she's done with them. BOOM!
Priyanka rolled her eyes at Boomstick's brash and loud attitude.
Priyanka: He's not a very good man with words is he...
Amethyst: Meh, I've heard worst from some humans...
Steven: Like, what?
Amethyst opens her mouth to speak but is stopped as Pearl covers her mouth.
Pearl: It's nothing to worry about Steven, They were a hundred percent nice words!
Amethyst pulls Pearl's hand off her face.
Amethyst: Actually, they were-
Before she could speak again this time it was Freckles who covered her mouth.
Wiz: I'm Wizard.
Boomstick: And I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze the weapons, armor, and skills of these two beastly killers and answer the most important question of all: Which of these two warriors would win... a Death Battle.
--(BOBA FETT)
————————
Lapis Lazuli: That looks very unique, Do we gems have any armour similar to that?
Peridot: I do not believe we do-
White Diamond: Actually, we do have some prototypes for Gem armour, unfortunately, they are too unstable to be truly useful for Gem use. They have a 50/50 probability of poofing the user if put under extreme stress.
Stevonnie: That is very terrifying to think about.
All of the gems nodded, agreeing.
Wiz: Boba Fett is well known for his cunning, ruthlessness, and brute force. But his killer instinct relies on his diverse arsenal of death.
Rose Quartz: It looks very brutish but I do have to comment on its usefulness.
Boomstick: Plus, he wears the most badass spacesuit ever.
Steven & Amethyst: Hell yeah!
Wiz: That's no ordinary spacesuit, Boomstick; that's Fett's Mandalorian Armor, forged of nearly indestructible Duraplast, containing a micro-energy field for dispersing impacts.
Peridot: Well I doubt its indestructible-
Boomstick: This guy can have a freaking bomb blow up in his face and still walk away.
Everyone winced at the footage of Boba enduring the bomb.
Peridot: I stand corrected...
Wiz: His gauntlets house a flamethrower with a reach of 5 meters, a fibercord whip, and numerous concussion and stun missiles. His weapon of choice is his EE-3 Carbine Rifle, an extremely accurate and powerful weapon which Fett often cradles like a child.
Spinel: Why would anyone treat their weapon like a child?
Flower: Humans are very strange creatures.
Boomstick: Yeah, I do that with my guns, too...
Wiz: That's... not weird at all, Boomstick. Fill us in on Fett's heavy weaponry.
Boomstick: Well, everybody and their grandmother knows that Fett can zoom around on his badass jetpack, but that jetpack also has a single anti-vehicle homing rocket, and believe me, you don't want to see this thing heading your way.
Steven: A jetpack! Awesome!
Connie: Would gem technology be able to make a functioning Jetpack?
Connie questioned Peridot who was staring at the screen with fascination and excitement she could barely contain...
Peridot: On the basis that gem engineers can find a reliable fuel source as well as create powerful enough thrusters to lift an entire gem or human off the floor. It is possible but will take some hard work.
Wiz: That's right, Boomstick. In short, Fett is a human Swiss army knife. He's killed hundreds of criminals, politicians, and Jedi. He's even held his own against Darth Vader... twice.
(The screen shows a menacing photo of the acclaimed sith lord)
Every gem and human shivered at the sight of the vicious Sith Lord, the mixture of his robotic body and the pulsating red lightsaber making them feel uneasy.
Doug: He makes me feel uneasy from his looks alone...
Boomstick: Holy shit, that is hardcore!
Wiz: He became leader of the Mandalorian mercenaries after the Galactic Civil War, and battled Mace Windu to a draw when he was 12 years old.
Steven Universe: Awesome!
Bangs: That is very impressive for a human especially a young human to fight an experienced warrior to a draw.
Boomstick: Sam Jackson's got nothing on him.
Wiz: But with all his awesomeness, every so often Fett will totally blow it. He's fallen into the Sarlacc three times. Three! And the Sarlacc are not exactly running around looking for snacks.
(The Sarlacc is shown making everyone wince in disgust)
Boomstick: Three times? How do you even do that once? It's a giant hole in the ground with teeth, and he's got a jetpack!
Greg: That's what I'm thinking he has a jetpack against an immobile hole in the ground! Couldn't he just fly up?
Rose: I'm sure he would of if his jetpack wasn't broken, Sweetie.
Wiz: Still, even with his ridiculous flaws, Boba Fett is a whole new meaning of deadly
--Darth Vader: No disintegration.
Boba Fett: As you wish.
--(SAMUS ARAN)
————————
Wiz: Samus Aran was infused with bird-like Chozo DNA at a young age, increasing her strength, speed, and athletic ability far beyond those of a normal human being.
Boomstick: How do they do that?! I want me some bird DNA!
Pearl: Combining the DNA of different species does not seem like a good idea.
Ruby: Would that even be possible?
No one answered the small Ruby.
Wiz: She wears the Power Suit, typically in Varia form, shielding her entire body without restricting any movement or flexibility.
Amethyst: That is an awesome suit!
Boomstick: Too bad it makes her look like a dude...
Priyanka bawled her hands into fists at Boomstick's words.
Priyanka: Boomstick!
Meanwhile, all the gems stared confused at the angry woman and the screen, they felt like they should be offended but they weren't.
Wiz: Her primary weapon, the Arm Cannon, has acquired numerous awesome upgrades over the years. Though, the basic Power Beam is a pea shooter with a pathetic range.
Jasper: That is utterly pathetic, no stronger than the average human weapons!
Jasper laughed out loud at the pathetic range of and power of the basic Power Beam.
Boomstick: But when it's fully charged, it'll blow your face off. BAM! Shoop Da Whoop!
Jasper's eyes widened at the fully charged Power Beam while Connie, Steven and Amethyst silently snicker at the noises Boomstick was making.
Wiz: The Arm Cannon can also use an Ice Beam, a Grapple Beam, and a plethora of seeking and super missiles. Samus controls the skies with a powerful and speedy Screw Attack, and if there's trouble on the battlefield, she can curl up into Morph Ball mode and slip away unnoticed.
Everyone watched as footage of Samus rolling in her ball form is shown with confusion plastered on their faces.
Boomstick: What the f-?! How does she do that?
Stevonnie: Yeah! How does she manage to contort her body to the point of being a ball?
Wiz: Bird DNA, Boomstick. Bird DNA.
Peridot rolled her eyes, of course, the DNA is the explanation, no human bird DNA or not can contort their bodies to the point of becoming a ball.
Boomstick: Samus also has a freakin' huge supply of Power Bombs, which will destroy anything on the screen in seconds. Nothing survives!
Amethyst's eyes lit up at the sight of the bombs and their destructive capability.
Wiz: She is known to be the bounty hunter capable of taking on impossible missions, fighting massive beasts and even wiping out an entire species. However, she often makes mistakes. Somehow, she always seems to lose all her power-ups and upgrades at the beginning of every mission.
Boomstick: Man, someone gets this chick a purse.
Priyanka growled in anger.
--
Samus: Time to go.
--
(BATTLE!)
Samus is shown flying through space in her spaceship. However, Boba Fett's ship, the Slave I, shoots at her ship, throwing it out of orbit and landing on Earth, where it crash lands somewhere in the middle of a futuristic city. Samus gets out of her ship and Fett hovers down to the where Samus landed.
Steven : This is going to be so epic!
Announcer: FIGHT!
Samus shoots her Power Beams, that fade out almost instantly, not even reaching her opponent. Fett counters with a few shots from his blaster, but Samus jumps in the air, firing a missile at Fett, which hits. When she lands, Fett hits her with his flamethrower. When Samus jumps back and shoots another missile, Fett flies up using his jet pack. However, Samus goes after him using her Screw Attack and eventually hits him, which forces him to the ground.
Rose Quartz: They seem to be evenly matched at the moment.
Blue Diamond: Their durability is impressive for humans.
When Samus lands, Fett shoots missiles at her. He then fires his anti-vehicle homing missile, which Samus escapes by going into Morph Ball mode and escaping through a doorway.
Fett cautiously creeps toward the doorway as Samus sneaks behind him in Morph Ball mode and plants a Power Bomb near his feet.
Pearl: The battle is nearing its end and Boba Fett has a lot of disadvantages.
The bomb explodes and it takes off a large chunk of Fett's health. His suit having withstood the blast, Fett sees Samus and fires a missile at her. Samus dodges by stepping to the side and then freezes Fett using her Ice Beam.
Connie: Please, please do not be a gruesome death.
She then moves toward the frozen bounty hunter and begins charging her arm cannon. With the charge at its apex and Boba Fett's body slightly moving as he tries to break free of the ice, Samus positions her arm cannon toward his head.
Samus: You're mine.
With the charge at its maximum before Boba Fett could escape, Samus fires her Charge Beam point-blank, knocking his head clean from his body.
All of the humans and some gems flinched at the sudden decapitation.
Peridot: I know it's a battle to the death but could they at least not show it?
Announcer: K.O.!
Boba's head flies back downward, clanking on the ground.
Connie's cheeks went green as Steven patted her on the back.
—————-
(Results!)
—————-
Boomstick: Holy shit! Did you see that, Wiz? That was insane!
Wiz: Fett battled like a champ, but in the end, Samus' superior technology and athletic skill trumped him... hard. While her basic Power Beam failed miserably, Samus put her Chozo DNA to work by jumping and dodging around Fett's offenses.
Amethyst: Wish I could move around like that, would make some of my fights easier.
Wiz: Boba Fett, who relies more on cunning and brute force, simply didn't have the means necessary to catch Samus.
Yellow Diamond: It's always important to not focus on one specific plan of attack always have extras.
Spinel thought back to her fight with Steven and chuckled sheepishly.
Spinel: Maybe I should have chosen a more friendly way... Sorry about poofing you all.
Spinel apologies to Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet.
Garnet: No need to apologise for it all of us are at fault somewhat.
Boomstick: He was shooting all over the place, but that space chick was just too quick for him. He even tried to use his homing rocket, but anybody who's blown up a lot of shit knows anti-vehicle rockets don't work too well with people.
Freckles: Samus Aran is a very magnificent human woman.
Wiz: Exactly. Samus is about four times smaller than the average vehicle, so there's only about a one in four chance for a direct hit from Fett's rocket. Not to mention she kept moving, preventing Fett from getting a solid lock on her.
Boomstick: After that screw-up, Samus managed to sneak around Fett and left a little surprise at his feet.
Jasper: That reminds me.
Jasper turned to the Diamonds who had their eyes on the screen and pointed at them.
Jasper: If the Crystal Gems were such a thorn in your sides why didn't you just send a small or medium invasion force?
The Diamonds looked at each other and shrugged.
White Diamond: We never thought they would put up much of a fight for planet Earth, but they did in the end.
Wiz: Fett's micro-energy field managed to minimize the damage he took from the powerbomb, but by that point, it was all over. Samus froze Fett with her Ice Beam and finished him off with a Charge Beam to the face.
Priyanka: A gruesome beam to the face.
Boomstick: She sure stopped him cold.
Amethyst and Steven let out a loud chuckle at the terrible pun.
Wiz: That's right Boomstick. The winner is Samus Aran.
The credits began to roll as the episode ended.
--
Peridot: I guess that was it? A little underwhelming... I was under the impression we would be seeing humans or other creatures that would make us afraid.
Steven: I'm sure we will see more unique people in the next episodes Peridot, do we have any food in here by the way? I'm starving!
As if the room itself heard Steven a giant table full of food from pizza to cabbages appeared in a row beside them. Steven rushed over to the tables and began to grab a few bits of food.
Rose Quartz: I forgot to say, I'm sorry everyone for all of this.
Rose looked at all of the gems and humans with a sorrowful and regretful look.
Lapis Lazuli: What do you mean?
Rose Quartz: Everything from the rebellion to now is my fault. I was too busy thinking about the present to think about what it meant for the future. Spinel.
Rose walked over to Spinel who was sitting very close to the Diamonds. They both stared at each other before they both embraced each other in a tight embrace as everyone else looked on. Spinel cried into Rose's dress.
Rose Quartz: It was wrong and a terrible thing for me to leave you in that Garden for so long, the loneliness and abandonment you felt haunted you for so long and it was all my fault.
Everyone watching the emotional scene in front of them gem or not felt some kind of sadness enter their bodies.
Spinel: I-i forgive you...
Rose smiled at those words and gently let go of Spinel who did the same.
Rose looked at the Diamonds that were sitting close to Spinel and a bright but small smile appeared on her face.
Rose Quartz: Diamonds... I am sorry for my actions as Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz. I was naive and young especially compared to you three, but I learnt a lot as a leader of a Rebellion. Both good and bad things about myself but as gems.
Rose Quartz walked around looking at all the gems and humans who were sorely focused on her.
Rose Quartz: We as Gems may have many advantages over humans and Earth but not even we are perfect. We all make mistakes whether they are catastrophic or minor can not be seen till a later time. With that being said Humans are just as incredible and perfect as their species as us.
She gestured over to the humans in the cinema which included Steven, her husband and Connie and her family.
Rose Quartz: They are a perfect example of it. Even with things they didn't understand they wanted to continue and for that they are just as perfect if not superior to us. And finally Greg and Steven.
Rose walked over to her son and husband as the words that came from Rose Quartz sunk into everybody's minds.
Rose Quartz: Steven you are truly my pride and joy for all of which happened during the rebellion, your creation is and will always be my greatest achievement. Never forget that. Greg, meeting you was the best thing to happen to me, your personality captured my attention and your love for me despite me not being a human.
Rose held out her arms and like Spinel, Steven went into a tight embrace with his mother Greg joining in as well as everyone smiled at the actions.
Steven: Thank you, mom.
Rose Quartz: It's the least I can do...
(And that is episode 1 done, episode 2 will begin writing shortly!)