Chapter 10! Enjoy!

Warning: Angst and feels

Disclaimer in chapter 1

Nurse Me

Chapter 10

Bucket List Pt. 1

"Fuck," Brittany muttered, as she wiped the blood from her mouth, "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…."

What had started out as a coughing fit that sometimes left her breathless, now ended in wet rattles, with her coughing up blood at the end of the episodes. It was annoying as fuck, and downright scary. Why in the hell was she coughing up blood? She wasn't on any medicine that could possible make her lungs bleed and she was sure that the cancer hadn't spread to them either.

Brittany placed a hand on her throat, as she rinsed her mouth out with water and turned her head, when her door opened and Diesel came ambling through the doorway, whistling a jaunty tune, and eating Christmas cookies. The boy had on the ugliest blue and white Christmas sweater that had a morphed Santa Clause on it that seemed to be screaming in agony, and rightly so. Brittany walked out her bathroom, pointed to the offending sweater and asked, "What in the hell is that thing?"

"Lula's Christmas sweater," Diesel said, sitting on the bed and laying on it, "She's improved her knitting, but she needs some practice."

"I'll say," Brittany said, wiping her mouth and making her way over to Diesel, "Hey, where's Heidi? I saw this morning but she's not even in her room."

"Oh, she's getting prepped for surgery, she's getting a biopsy done of the tumor in her head," Diesel said, wincing as he said it, "I wish her all the luck, it sounds like a bitch."

Brittany shook her head and said, "I feel sorry for her, brain tumors that are cancerous are the worse, I'm glad my cancer is all blood related."

"Cancer sucks in general," Diesel said, as Brittany climbed on the bed with him, "Hey, I got a question for you, have you made a bucket list?"

"Nah, I'm rich, don't need to make one," Brittany said, curling around a pillow, "Why? Are you writing one?"

"Yeah, Lula says it helps with the feelings," Diesel said, turning to Brittany, "Wanna hear what's on my list?"

"Sure," Brittany piped, grabbing a book to read, "Let's hear all about your wishes!"

"I wanna have sex," Diesel said, checking off his fingers, "I want to go to Las Vegas, and waste a fortune in the casinos, I want to get drunk, and not just tipsy, but dead drunk. I want to go ice skating, and go to Europe. There's some more I have to think of, but I think I'm off to a great start."

"We should ask what's on Heidi's bucket list, I bet she has some cool ideas too," Brittany said, paging through her book, "I've already got my date with a sexy doctor, man, last night was awesome, even if the only thing we did was eat hospital food and walked around the gardens."

"Did you kiss her?" Diesel leered at Brittany earning a head nod, "I bet she tastes like peppermint."

"More like cherry wine but, it was magical all the same," Brittany sighed, putting her book on her chest, "She gave me the real truth about the date; The National Health Institute called about the experimental drugs I'm on, they only call if they have good news, so we're celebrating for good news, though they have to call her again, because they only called the first time to inform her about the second call, which is happening any day now. Maybe I won't be here soon, maybe I'll be leaving."

"Good," Diesel said, rolling on his side to look at Brittany, "If anyone deserves a life, it's you, don't forget about me, when you go, okay?"

"Promise," Brittany said, with a wink, "I mean, who else is going to sneak in contraband for you, you dumbass!"

The duo broke out in loud laughter, but was abruptly ended, when Brittany began to cough loudly, chest rattles heaves that had her body shaking. Diesel sat up, watching with concern as Brittany covered her mouth as blood dribbled down her chin. Once the coughing stopped, Diesel got up and came back with a cup of water and a wash cloth, which he gave to Brittany.

"Are you okay?" Diesel asked, watching Brittany wiper her mouth and then rinse it out, "That's not supposed to happen, right?"

"It's nothing, don't worry," Brittany said, with a weak smile, "So, don't go blabbing to the nurses, I'm fine, alright?"

"Brittany this looks-" Diesel started but Brittany cut him off saying, "Please, don't say anything, it's nothing, okay?"

Diesel shook his head and said, "Alright, I won't say anything," before he slowly got back on the bed and sighed, "So, you don't have a bucket list?"

"No, not at all," Brittany said softly, looking down at the pink tinged water, "I don't need one."

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

"God, take that monstrosity off," Carlos said, giving Tank a pointed look, "What is that supposed to be anyways?"

Tank puffed his chest out proudly to display the green and red sweater he wore saying, "It's a Christmas sweater, Lula made it for me, she's getting better at knitting, and I promised to wear it for her."

Carlos turned away from his second hand man, saying, "I'm glad you're relationship with Lula is great, but, please, do not wear that in Rangeman, or else I'll see to it that you get all the paperwork for Rangeman."

"I love this woman, but I'm not about to tarnish my reputation by sporting this in meetings," Tank objected, crossing his arms and looking at the man in front of him, "How long has Heidi been in surgery?"

"An hour," Carlos said crossing his arms and looking at the set of blue painted doors, "Jeanne said that it would be a long procedure due to the extreme location of the tumor. Here's hoping to something good coming out of all of this."

Tank nodded his head and said, "Heidi's a tough kid, she's going to pull through all of this."

"Yeah, she's a tough kid, I know my daughter," Carlos said, leaning back in his chair, "She's going to find a way to beat this cancer."

Tank and Carlos fell back into silence once more, with Carlos looking at the doors and with Tank looking at Carlos. The man's face was drawn and tight, from the lack of sleep and from all the pushing he did to himself. If Carlos wasn't at the hospital, he was at Rangeman, doing paperwork, dealing with clients and or in the gym, punching away at a bag. Tank knew that it had been a long time since Carlos had a proper night of sleep. It was like déjà vu, watching Carlos fret over his wife, who spent six months battling cancer before she died. Tank could recall the sleepless nights, the times in which Maria, Carlos's house keeper in Miami , would call Tank or Bobby to come and get Carlos, because he had worked himself into a state and was scaring Heidi. Tank could recall the huge argument that Carlos and his wife had prior to her dying. Carlos had wanted her to go on experimental drugs, but his wife had flat out refused and told him that she was done with treatments and the pain, she wanted to die with dignity. Tank had spent that night watching over his friend as he got drunk and cried his eyes out. Tank couldn't recall how many times Maria had called and told Tank to come over to keep an eye out on Carlos. When Maria said that it really meant that Tank had to come over and watch out for Carlos so he wouldn't kill himself. Those calls had picked up in the place as the condition of Carlos's wife progressively got worse. Once she died, Tank moved into the house to keep watch over Carlos. He had to remind the man many times that he had a daughter, a daughter who just lost her mother and would lose her father if Carlos continued on this path. The year of therapy and grief counseling helped the man and his daughter but Tank didn't know what would happen, if Heidi died as well.

For the sake of Carlos, Heidi had to be the tough kid Tank knew that she could be. Tank knew that if Heidi died, then he might as well arrange two funerals, because Carlos would kill himself.

He was certain of it.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

Stephanie loved this time of year, Christmas was the most wonderful time of year. She loved decorating the house and the tree and she loved having family get togethers as well. It was always a pleasure to see her sister and her nieces, when they flew from California to New Jersey. Stephanie loved it when Joe would surprise her with a sprig of mistletoe and kiss her senseless, and she could even tolerate the Morelli family, around this time of year, of course, with the help of a glass of wine or two. No matter how the year turned out for her, Stephanie could always rely on this season to cheer her up.

Well, except for this season.

"Joe, where are you?" Stephanie asked the man through her cell phone, as she turned down the TV, "I haven't seen you in days! I know you show up to the house, but you make sure I'm not around, what's going on?!"

"Look cupcake, we've had this talk before," Joe said his voice carrying his irritation, "Until you quit that job of yours, I'm not returning home, I don't think it's that big of a demand."

"It is, Joe, you're asking me to quit my job, because you don't like it, what about me? I love my job, I love the people I interact with." Stephanie said, earning a huff from her husband, "What, are you really going to throw a tantrum about this?!"

Joe made a noise but went silent as a woman's voice in the background called to him. Stephanie frowned and said, "Who was that, Joe? Where in the hell are you?"

"I have to go, Cupcake," Joe said quickly, making Stephanie growl, "I'm in the middle of something important."

"Joe, wait-" Stephanie started but was cut off when Joe hung up on her, "Asshole."

Stephanie dropped her phone on the coffee table and then leaned back on the couch, looking outside the window. The sky was a dark grey, it would snow again soon, maybe this Christmas, it would nice and snowy. Stephanie thought she would be angry that Joe promptly dissed her, but somehow, she couldn't find it in her to be angry, instead she was…hollow.

Stephanie got up from the couch, went upstairs to the bedroom, grabbed a pair of Winnie the Pooh scrubs and made her way back downstairs. If Joe was going to spend Christmas with someone else, well, so can Stephanie. She'll swing by her parents Christmas morning and enjoy breakfast with them; her sister wouldn't be able to make it back to New Jersey this year, since they would be with her husband's family. For now, she'll spend the holidays with her charges and their family.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

"Stephanie, you need to go get Mr. Manoso," Lula said, once she saw Stephanie walk into the Serious Illness Ward, "He's been in the main waiting room, for the past 6 hours, waiting for Heidi and Jeanne to get out of surgery, and before that, Tankie told me that he hasn't been at home, he barely sleeps and he barely eats, do something."

"Six hours for a biopsy?" Stephanie asked Lula earning a head nod, "Well that can't be good, did anyone come by and explain why Jeanne's been in surgery for that long?"

"Seems like something was found, and she wanted to do a biopsy for that too, a tumor growing on some other vital parts of the brain," Lula said, earning a hiss from Stephanie, "I know ,it's rare for other tumors to form so far away from the initial site, but Jeanne thinks that it's a second type of cancer, she wants to make sure that it's examined thoroughly."

"Shit," Stephanie said softly, "So they'll be out of surgery soon, right?"

"Within the hour, hopefully, but I want that man to get some sleep before Jeanne drops a bomb like that on him," Lula said looking at Carlos, "Claudia is helping the children decorate the ward, but she doesn't have anyone to spare with this situation, I'm on duty."

"I got it," Stephanie said, giving Lula a smile, "Don't worry, Lula, say, the Blue Ward has been exceptionally quiet lately, do you know what's going on with Brittany and Diesel?"

"Mrs. Glenn came earlier this afternoon and Brittany and her got into it, again," Lula said, as Stephanie slung her coat over the counter, "I'm expecting an all-out war between them the next time she shows up, and that's what scares me."

"Let's deal with Carlos," Stephanie said, with a tight smile, "I'll get him some food and then put him in an empty room."

"What in the hell are you doing here anyways?" Lula asked, earning a shrug from Stephanie ,"I thought you'd be at home, on your first day off in three weeks, with your husband."

"Well, he's not there, I'll ask the woman I heard on the phone with him, maybe she knows where he is," Stephanie said, in a cold voice, before she turned to make her way over to the man sitting in the waiting room, "I'm sure she knows his location right down to a tee."

"Fuck…." Lula's voice drifted as Stephanie made her way over to Carlos.

"You," Stephanie said, once she was in front of the man, "Come with me, now I have to play the bad nurse, what did I tell you about taking care of yourself?"

"Heidi isn't out of surgery yet," Carlos said, looking over to Stephanie, who shook her head and then placed her hands on her hips.

"She will be out in an hour," Stephanie said, reaching down and grabbing Carlos's hand, "Lula told me about you not moving or eating, apparently you think that you'll be of help to Heidi, by not taking care of yourself, come on, in an hour, you can come right back here, but you need to eat a full meal and rest a bit, alright?"

Carlos opened his mouth to argue, but Stephanie put her foot down, jerked him up from his seat and lead him out the Serious Illness ward and over to the elevator. Once they were in the elevator, Stephanie pressed the button that led to the cafeteria and closed the door saying, "You're going to eat all the protein, iron and carbs you can get, they have some healthy choices in the cafeteria and some not so healthy choices, you can enjoy a little bit of both."

Carlos said nothing to Stephanie and so the ride to the cafeteria was silent. Once they arrived to the cafeteria, Stephanie made Carlos pick out a variety of foods before paying for it herself, ignoring the look Carlos gave her. They sat down in a booth and Stephanie said, "Eat, eat and talk, I may not be a therapist, but every 'Burg girl knows food helps with the feelings."

That cracked a smile from the man in front of her, which made Stephanie feel a little better. Stephanie looked down at the chicken sandwich she got and said, as she poured sauce on it, "My first day off, and my husband is shacking up with some other woman, I know it doesn't measure to with what you're going through but it sucks."

"The man is a fool," Carlos said softly, looking over to Stephanie as he began to eat his salad, "Why would he do anything like that?"

"Because, I'm no longer a housewife," Stephanie said, as she opened her bottle of water, "I had a quick conversation with him, he told me that he wouldn't see me again, until I quit my job. I heard a woman's voice on the other line and then he hung up on me. As if that makes his demands any better."

Carlos was silent for a while, before he let out a soft noise and said, "He doesn't know how good he has it, Babe, you're a good woman, to throw it all away, just like that, doesn't make sense."

Stephanie opened her mouth to respond but Carlos ran a hand over his face and said, "You remind me of Heidi's mother, you both are strong, caring and intelligent…"

Stephanie let out a soft sound as Carlos shook his head and said, "I'm a man who likes being in control of things, but I'm not in control now, I thought I had control of my life 5 years ago, but I lost my wife and now I might lose my daughter. If I lose Heidi, I don't know what I'll do."

Stephanie felt her heart clench at the lost look Carlos had on his face. She knew now that she had to help out this man and his child in any way she could and if the worst happened, she would see to it that Carlos would not be alone.

"Carlos," Stephanie said, grabbing the man's hand, "Don't worry about it for now, I'll help you in any way I can, okay, you're not alone in this. I'll help you and Heidi out, even if you need an ear to talk to, I'll be there."

"Babe," Carlos gave Stephanie a half smile , his hand gripping Stephanie's, "Thank you."

Stephanie had to hold back a sound as tiny bolts of shock went through the hand Carlos held. She gave Carlos another smile and said, "Well Mister, go back to eating, you still have a cake to eat."

Carlos and Stephanie resumed eating their meal but that was ending abruptly, when Stephanie's phone rang. Lula had sent Stephanie a message saying that Heidi was out of surgery and Jeanne needed to talk to Carlos ASAP.

It only took the two a couple minutes to get to the Serious Illness Ward, where Jeanne was waiting in Stephanie's office, looking extremely tired, her face drawn tight. Carlos sat down in a chair and asked, "How's Heidi?"

"Resting now," Jeanne said, rubbing her tired eyes and leaning back in Stephanie's chair, "I apologize about the length of the surgery but, we've run into a problem, Mr. Manoso; we've found a mass in another part of Heidi's brain, and from the location and the size of the mass, it's just now forming. We believe Heidi has another form of cancer, once we get the results from the samples, we'll go from there."

Jeanne got up and placed a hand on Carlos's shoulder saying, in a soft voice, "I'm sorry, Mr. Manoso, but I'll see to it that Heidi gets the best options, I promise you."

Jeanne placed a hand on Stephanie's shoulder and said, in the woman's ear, "I know you're not a nanny, but-"

"I know, I won't leave him," Stephanie said softly, earning a nod from Jeanne, "I'll stay with him for as long as he needs me. "

Carlos broke down after Jeanne left, it had been so long since he cried like this, not since the death of his wife. Carlos felt arms wrap around him and then Stephanie was whispering in his ear, telling him that everything would be alright, everything would be fine, she would help him along the way.

It had to be okay, if it wasn't, Carlos didn't know what he would do.

TBC…..

Ah...things aren't looking good for a few people, right, I know, well, if you could take the time to leave a review, I would be most happy. They're like addicting!