Change Log: The following edits to past chapters will be posted alongside this chapter. The Tavros scene from Chapter 2 has been moved to Chapter 3 for better narrative flow. The DaveKat scene in Chapter 3 has been replaced with a VrisJohn scene so as to show, not tell.

These should be the last revisions I make to previous chapters for a while.

The Meteor - 6 months after departure

"So there I was in my Quest-Cocoon, just bleeding out like a chump while Tavros watched like a nervous-Nellie. After cajoling him for like, forever, I finally got him to speed up the process by stabbing me in the heart. Tav ran out crying like a just-pupated grub; but he'd done what I needed him to do. From there it was just a matter of my corpse riding through the transformation and I was back in action; top of my game to boot."

John listened as Vriska wrapped up her recounting of how she'd gone God-Tier. As before they were deep in the meteor, away from the others. She'd been incredibly animated, more so than usual. She'd been talking with her hands, making sound effects, and generally having a good time. But this tale like all the others followed an inescapable trend that worried John. He noticed it in both in his personal interactions with Vriska and what he'd been told about her. She was afraid. For all her bluster, all the hurt she'd done; she was just some scared little kid trying to look tough so other people wouldn't hurt her. He wasn't sure which was the worst scenario; her genuinely not caring about her actions, or her caring and going ahead with them anyways because she was just that scared.

She was dangerous, John had never held any illusions about that. Nor did he think that any motivations she might have had absolved her of her past behaviors. But it provided a lever, a lever that could be used to get her on the right track; away from her self-destructive behavior; but John just didn't know if he'd be able to use it.

Vriska finished, wrapping up with a flourish. "…And that's how it went. It took a few more steps than what you went through, obviously, but I was improvising when I went through with mine and you had my experience to guide you through yours."

She smiled, but then noticed his expression. "You've been quieter than usual, what's wrong?"

John leaned back in his chair, bracing himself for the shitstorm he was about to wade into. "Vriska, I don't mean to be indelicate, but are you ok?"

Vriska seemed to be perplexed by this question. "What do you mean by ok?"

John continued. "Well, you've told me a lot about yourself, and I don't like the idea of trying of trying to play psycho-analysist like Rose does…"

"I sense you're about to say 'but'."

"But all the stuff you've done. Hurting your friends, emulating Mindfang. Is that because you want to be strong? Or is it because you don't want to be weak? Because it's ok to be weak. That's not a bad thing."

Vriska's face scrunched up into a confused frown. "What are you talking about?"

"Ok, so like, the story you were just telling me. Going God-Tier. Some of the stuff doesn't match up. After Aradia left you for dead why didn't you just let Tavros revive you by kissing you? You still had a dreamself, that would have worked."

Vriska fidgeted in her seat. "And what, just miss out on the opportunity to go God-Tier? Fat chance."

"Ok. So you knew what God-Tier was, and you knew where your Quest-Cocoon was. It seems like you could have gone there and offed yourself at any time rather than wait around to get the crap beaten out of you. Instead you spent a bunch of time in your Land flirting with Tavros, and climbing your Echeladder one rung at a time. That seems unlike you."

Vriska rolled her eyes, trying to play it off. But John could see her tensing. "Do you even hear yourself right now?"

John leaned forwards, looking her in the eyes. "Tell me I'm wrong."

Vriska snorted and wheeled the wheelchair away from John, moving to leave. "I don't need this."

John got up and caught her by the arm. "Vriska, come on. You can't keep running from yourself. You need to…"

Vriska snapped her head around to look at him. "I need to what? Say I'm weak? Say I'm a wimp bitch? Not the cool kind of bitch, but the sad kind? Is that what I need to do John?"

"Yes, and then move on!" John surprised her with the force of his words.

Vriska opened her mouth but John continued. "You're always telling me how 'Mindfang did this, Mindfang did that.' Well Mindfang was able to get over herself even if it took forever. Why can't you learn THAT from her? Even she eventually saw that she wasn't all that, that she was going to get killed by The Summoner, and she faced it. She didn't cower. She didn't try to bullshit her way out of it. She faced it."

"Well maybe I'm not Mindfang! Vriska yelled, pulling her arm out of his grip before continuing to roll away.

John called after her "You're right. You're stronger than her. Which is why it's so frustrating to see you struggle with this."

Vriska stopped at that.

"I know you have self-control. You have regrets. Do you really think that makes you weak? Any weaker than ignoring your failures and plowing full steam ahead, doing whatever pops into your mind? Because that's not what strength is. That's foolishness."

"You know that the things you've done are wrong. You know you're a horrible person. But you never do anything to change it. You're stuck in this stupid sunk-cost fallacy of being an asshole. You're like 'oh well, I've already been a nasty bitch, people already hate my guts. Better keep doing it'. You might not be able to undo the horrible things you've already done, but you can at least TRY to make things right and be a better person. I know you can do better Vriska"

"My Dad used to say." John started, his eyes tearing up. "When riding a bike, you're going to fall over from time to time. The important thing is that you pick yourself up and get back on. I know they probably didn't have bikes on Alternia, but I think you get the point anyways. Vriska, just because you've fallen down the wrong path and done horrible things doesn't mean you have to keep doing them. We can be there for you, you don't have to keep pushing your friends away and taking control of the situation out of some fake sense of bravado."

Vriska just sat there with her back to him, trembling. "Do you really mean all that?" She said in barely even a whisper.

"Yes."

She wheeled around to face him. Her face ashen. "I don't know if I can. Do better." Her eyes became downcast. "It's just… I've done so much shit, you know? I've told you most of it. Even if I want to do better, who'd believe me? I mean, between the two of us, I'm pretty sure Rose wants to kill me just to be on the safe side."

John got closer and kneeled, bringing his eyes level with Vriska's. "I'd believe you. And with some work I know the others would too. I can talk with Rose if you're concerned about her." He said, lightly touching Vriska's arm for emphasis. She looked away embarrassed, a slight blush blooming on her face.

She hadn't expected this turn. She'd just wanted to get it all off her chest, to tell someone her whole story even if they hated her more after it. She'd never thought someone would believe in her, would tell her that she could do better. Every single fiber of her being had been conditioned to think otherwise; this it was the way of the world and that was that.

She stifled a sob. For only the second time in her life she wasn't sure if she could do something. It scared her. Even losing her legs, as traumatic and difficult as that had been, had just been some obstacle for her to overcome like all the others. This; accepting regret, accepting that she couldn't do everything, would be difficult for her.

Vriska looked up. "Ok. I'll do it. I'll try. But how do I even begin?"

John thought on that for a moment. "Well, apologizing would be a good place to start." He offered.

Vriska gave a sardonic chuckle, "How do I apologize to the ones who are dead? Who I killed."

"Well…" Started John, seeing her morbid point. "In those cases, I guess acknowledging to yourself that you're sorry would work. And apologizing to anyone who knew them?"

Vriska took a deep breath, steadying herself. She could do this. She HAD to do this. There was no other way forward now. "Ok, ok. And John?"

"Yes?" He responded.

"I'm sorry for getting you killed by Jack, and helping cause Jack, and… everything else." She stuttered out. Meaning it.

John patted her hand and stood back up. "Thank you. Apology accepted."

They looked at each other, something passing between them. Not romance in the human sense or the Troll concept of Matespriteship. It was closer to the human concept of siblinghood, the Troll concept of Moirallegiance. They'd help each other grow. She would support him as he'd just supported her. She owed him.

She grabbed his sleeve as he turned to grab some things off the table. He looked at her, eyebrow raised. She spoke in a careful tone. "John. Thank you. I know it's hard putting up with me. And… If you ever need someone to talk about your dad, I'm here.

Grief passed over John's face, then assurance replaced it. "That would be nice." He said. He grabbed the items and the two of them let the room. Eager to see what mischief the others were getting into.

As they left however, a figure in the walls, in the vents, chuckled to himself very quietly. He'd listened to the whole thing. Taken literal notes to boot. He was ready now. Ready to push these poor saps past the brink. It would take a few more days to make the necessary adjustments to his plans, but it would be worth it. Gamzee Makara would make them scream; and they would know no respite for the remainder of this journey.