Land of Crypts and Helium – Four Days Before the Meteor's Arrival

As the Juju's power washed over Jane, everything changed. All the colors in the world seemed to POP, and an intense feeling swept over her. It felt like every birthday, Christmas, Easter, and every other holiday she'd ever experienced was happening all at once. A sugar rush to surpass every other sugar rush.

She let out a loud, unrestrained "WOO!" Flinging her arms in the air and jumping for joy.

As she hopped up and down in excitement, some small part of her mind noticed that it wasn't just her perception that the colors were popping, but rather a physical effect. One that was quickly washing over the surrounding landscape, transforming the drab wastes into something new and neon-colored.

The effect had affected her as well. Her skin was creamy now, the color of malted milk, her clothing had likewise changed into some sort of Candy-Land-esc outfit. She looked down at herself, very much liking her new look.

But the change was more than skin-deep, she could feel it. She somehow knew, that just like Calliope had said, she could do anything she wanted now, physics-be-damned. Everything was on the table, she could go fight the Queen right now if she chose! And win! Lord English, eat your heart out you pretentious fop!

She did a little jig. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" She just HAD to tell the others about this. Share this with them. But she wouldn't just message them, no, that wouldn't do it justice. She was going to show them. It was going to be SO great.

But who to share this with first? Ok, that hadn't been a real question! Jake of course! She'd always found the lad charming and been smitten with him for quite some time; and with her newfound confidence and lack of inhibition, nothing was going to stop her from sweeping him off his feet.

Turning around, she oriented herself towards his planet and then shot off like a rocket. Cupid's rocket of love. Because arrows were now officially overrated.

Land of Mounds and Xenon

Jake looked in the mirror as he adjusted his bowtie and suspenders. He was going to have to leave soon unless he wanted to be late. Jane probably thought she'd caught them all unawares, but they knew it was her birthday. The plan was for a surprise party on Roxy's planet, complete with cake and punch. Dirk had made the cake and Jake had tried his hand at punch; he'd have never thought it was that easy to make, but then he was learning all sorts of stuff about the foods he hadn't had access to on the island.

Deciding he was presentable; he went to go put the punch bowl into his Sylladex for safe transportation. Only to find that the Sylladex was full. He paused for a moment, confused. He didn't keep that much in it, what could be… Oh. That.

He headed outside so he'd have enough room, then ejected the troublesome object from the Sylladex, freeing up a substantial amount of space in the process. Deciding that the punch wasn't going anywhere, he turned his attention to the object he'd deposited on to the ground.

It very much resembled an oversized window. He wasn't sure what it was exactly, but it had been one of his late grandmother's most prized possessions. He'd kept it in his Sylladex all this time, never really thinking about it until now.

He was contemplating where he was going to store it now when something slammed into the ground right next to him kicking up a large dust cloud. He covered his mouth, coughing as the dust cloud washed over him. Then the dust settled and he saw what had impacted. What he saw made him afraid, very afraid.

Standing in the center of the impact site was a stranger wearing his friend's face. She looked exactly like Jane. Except she couldn't be. Her hair was pink for starters; the skin off-colored, and he didn't think he'd ever seen her wear an outfit like that before. But worst of all was the smile, forced to a degree that could only be described as horrifying.

The girl looked right at him. "Hi Jake." She said. "I've got REALLY good news."

He reflexively drew his twin-pistols from his Strike-Deck, but kept them aimed at the ground. Not knowing what was going on. The girl, Jane he begrudgingly assessed, started walking towards him; a neon growth spreading out from each footfall she made. As she drew closer, Jake began to hear what sounded like frantic calliope music buzzing in the back of his skull, growing louder and louder.

His nerves became frazzled, and he pointed his guns at her out of fear. "Stop!" he shouted. And the figure stopped, looking at him with a tilted head and a look of confusion.

She motioned to herself with her hands. "Jake. It's me. Jane."

Jake's throat went dry at the confirmation. "Jane… what's going on? What happened to you?"

She looked confused for a moment, tapping a finger on her chin before a look of clarity passed over her face. "Oh, this? It's my new look. Like it?" She did a little twirl before striking a pose and winking at him.

He did not like it.

"What happened?" He repeated.

"I got both Calliope's and Caliborn's Juju's. Those are the aliens we used to talk to, remember them?"

He nodded, he did remember the aliens from the chat messages, but he hadn't known their names. What did THEY have to do with THIS?

"They sent me codes I could use to get the two pieces of their Jujus from the Alchemiter, and then I united them. Jake. This is the result! All our problems are solved."

"How?" He asked, horrified.

"This form, I'm calling it Trickster Mode by the way, can allow us to do anything we want to. We don't have to hold back any more. We can go straight to Derse and punch the Queen right in the mouth. We can save my dad! We can take on Lord English, the bad-guy I told you all was coming. We don't have to be afraid anymore.

Jake slowly lowered his pistols away from his friend as he took all this in. Starting to weigh the possibility that she could be onto something despite her unusual demeanor. But she wasn't done speaking yet.

"And…" She said demurely, looking at him with longing in her eyes. "We can be true to our feelings towards each other."

His mind blanked at that. Wait. What did she say?

She rushed forwards before he could react, planting a kiss on his cheek. Then stepped back and watched as the Trickster curse washed over him too.

Land of Pyramids and Neon

Roxy stepped back as she looked at the final touches she'd added to the room. Ribbons and streamers adorning the walls and ceiling, while Dirk's cake sat showcased in the center of the table. She had to say, they'd done a pretty bang-up job using the supplies they'd had on hand.

She looked over at Dirk; who, drinking a soda, simply gave a silent thumbs-up in approval of her efforts.

With the decorating out of the way, she decided to spiff up her lab coat look, picking up and adding a pink ribbon to her hair. All that was left was to wait for Jake to show up with the punch and then the three of them could call over the guest of honor.

Operation Birthday Bash was looking like it would be a great success.

A sudden knocking on the door caused the two of them to turn their heads in its direction. Roxy waved off Dirk as they both started towards the door. Saying, "I've got it." Before going to let Jake in.

"You're just in-." She started to say as she swung open the door, but the rest of her sentence cut off in her throat when she saw Jane was standing there with him. Further confounding her was their odd outfits, both of them looking like they'd just stepped out a candy-themed cuckoo clock.

She was still boggling at them when they each lay a hand on her shoulders, the transformation washing over her as well.

Dirk spewed soda in alarm before drawing his sword. But he hesitated, not wanting to harm his friends. The trio slowly stalked towards him, fanning out in an attempt to herd him into a corner.

Feeling an uncharacteristic twinge of panic, he tried to brush past them with a burst of speed. But the Tricksterfied Roxy proved to be faster. Appearing suddenly in front of him and stopping him dead in his tracks. She grabbed his arms in an iron grip before bringing her face up to his and proceeding to make out with him.

He coiled in revulsion and disgust, not wanting this and thus feeling violated, but the curse made quick work of his will and he eventually fell prey to it too.

Once the transformation had worked its course through Dirk he and Roxy uncoupled from each other and Jane grinned with glee. It was all coming together. "Ok." She clapped. "The gang's all here. Let's go kick some alien ass!"

Jake and Roxy thrust their fists up into the air cheering "YEA!" while Dirk stood morose. His expression still flat in a deadpan manner.

"It won't work." He said.

This took the others by surprise. "Huh?" The all turned to him for an explanation.

"Think about it. The second you came into contact with each of us we were brought into Trickster-Mode. If we go to confront the Condesce like this, she'll go Trickster-Mode too and we'll lose our advantage immediately."

"Ah… but…" Jane began to pout, sad that her AWSOME plan was now dead in the water. But then Dirk finally allowed a sardonic smirk to slip onto his face. Continuing "But luckily, I have a more, permanent, solution to our power imbalance. One she can't possible copy."

Roxy got excited as she figured out where he was going with this. "You mean we're!?"

"Yes." Responded Dirk. "Going God-Tier."

That was a new term to Jane. "What's God-Tier?" She asked. Floating off the ground in anticipation.

"I'm glad you asked." Said Dirk. Raring to flaunt his pre-knowledge of the game now that he was his Trickster-self. "On the moons of Prospit and Derse, there'll be a pair of slabs with our aspect signs marked on them. If we lay on them and die, we'll be remade at the top of our power scales and we'll be immortal to boot." A shadow of doubt passed over his face. "Mostly immortal." He amended.

"Oh my gosh!" Said Jane. "Why didn't you say anything about this sooner?"

Dirk shrugged. "Me and Roxy didn't think you'd go along with it."

Roxy sniggered. "HE didn't think HE could go through with it."

"Well, we're doing it now. Right? This is our chance to even the playing field." Said Jane, looking at her friends for confirmation. They all nodded yes. Their empty, eager, grins all matching her own.

With it decided, all four of the Tricksters flew off. Jane and Jake to Prospit; Dirk and Roxy to Derse. Off to go kill themselves and go God-Tier.

Derse

The Condesce cast her gaze over the many projects she was working on in her personal lab. For all her complaints about Carapacian technology, it could do wonderous things when it operated properly. Take for example the rows and rows of cloning tanks, each of which held Lusus clones in various stages of development; these would do wonders when she finally got out from under Lord English and could properly reestablish her empire. Oh, to return to those days of glory! It was almost too much. Bringing a solitary tear of happiness to her eyes as she contemplated the years ahead.

But her musing of those future victories were cut short; as multiple alerts were piped through to her on the nearest monitor. Two people were entering Derse airspace on a trajectory straight to the moon; while at the same time a Prospit battleship had appeared out of literal nowhere and landed on LOMAX, a clear violation of the DMZ.

Taking a moment to absorb the information, she let loose a wicked grin as she realized what it all meant. It looked like Gamzee's intel was proving to be right after all, she might just have to reconsider her plans to kill the little shit when this was all over, he might just prove to be useful. Might.

She went over to one of the workbenches and grabbed something off it, a red headband, before taking off at a brisk pace to the monitoring room. She was going to need both the headband and a good view for what she had planned next.

For her victory.

Core of Prospit's Moon

When Jane finally came to on the slab, she had a bigger headache than the one she'd started the whole mess out with. She groaned from her throbbing head and heard Jake doing the same somewhere nearby. Opening her eyes was tricky, the dim cavernous interior of the moon playing tricks on her mind. Eventually though, she was able to get herself upright and steadied.

Upon review, handling strange objects of unfathomable power with little-to-no understanding of their operation or function, had been a mistake.

She looked over to Jake, who was still struggling to rise. Reaching within herself she sent a ribbon of Life energy towards him. She couldn't give much, barely a pinch, but it seemed enough to get him upright at least.

Judging by the lack of blood they hadn't actually killed themselves yet. She begrudgingly fought against the mental fog and tried to recall what had actually happened after they'd arrived. The memories were hazy but she had a vague idea that trying to kill themselves while in Trickster-Mode had been a bust. The injuries had refused to take hold for some reason. Some sort of cartoon logic preventing them from hurting themselves. She remembered screaming in frustration and throwing another toddler-tantrum before finally relenting and dropping out of Trickster-mode, the resulting crash from coming off that high immediately sending her and Jake unconscious.

As her memories returned, she became increasingly embarrassed as she remembered snippets of what she'd said to Jake on LOMAX. She hung her head low.

"I'm sorry." She said

"What?" Responded Jake, who still trying to clear the fuzz from his own brain.

"This is all my fault." She said. "I just… I wanted us to win. I wanted it to all be over." She pulled her knees up to her chest, sitting there. "I wanted my dad back."

Jake looked over at her with concern. Staggering up from his slab and clumsily floating over to hers in order to sit besides her.

"Jane. You've been carrying the four of us through this for months now. You're going through a lot. And… I know it sounds cheesy, but you can't fix everything on your own. You're only Human."

"But I have to fix it!" She bit out. "We'd never be in this situation it I hadn't insisted we play this crummy game. I'm the reason we're here. And now we have less than four days until our grandparents or whoever show up being chased by the ultimate evil. And what did I do? I got us all high, creeped you out, and got Dirk molested. I screwed everything up even further than it already was."

Jake sat there for a minute in silence as Jane rocked back and forth, pondering what she'd said before finally responding. "Well… I can't speak for the impending arrival of the ultimate evil, but I wanted to play this game too; so did Dirk and Roxy, even if they had their own reservations. So this isn't all your fault, give us some of the credit there too. I mean… listen; you've been doing what you can. This whole Trickster thing was… a trial." She winched at that. "But I think we all understand what you were trying to do and appreciate it. We've been going through some shit, but Jane, we'll get through this I know we will. I have Hope."

He placed his hand on top of hers in a show of support and the two of them sat there in silence and stillness.

Prospit

Jack set Little Cal on the ground gingerly. The orders getting pumped directly into his brain. It was all so clear now. What he needed to do. Who he truly served. Not Derse, not the Queen, his one true master; Lord English.

The power being provided to him coursed through his veins, surrounding him in an aura of energy that made him invincible.

He leapt upwards, Little Cal no longer needed, and smashed through the ceiling of the prison cell; chucks of debris scattering upwards. He continued to soar higher and higher, until finally he could see the curvature of the planet. Scanning the horizon with bloodshot eyes, he finally found his target. The Prospit moon itself, and by extension the teenagers inside.

Following the instructions in his head, he opened his mouth wide and let loose a beam of energy towards the moon. One sure to destroy all inside.

Core of Prospit's Moon

The sudden rumbling broke Jane and Jake from their silent reprieve. The two of them darting to their feet as whole moon started to shake apart and melt.

"What's happening?" Shouted Jane.

"I don't know!" Said Jake, panicked, wondering how they were going to get out of there.

Suddenly there was a green flash and a third person was standing there with them. A black-haired girl, with a dog's ears and tail; wearing a black skirt and glasses.

"Time to go." Said the new arrival. Before, with another green flash, they found themselves outside; staring at the moon in the distance as it shattered apart in a fiery explosion that surely would have killed them had they stayed. Their quest to go God-Tier snuffed out as the slabs were destroyed without them on them.

"Not a moment too soon I see." Said the stranger.

Jake looked over at the girl with a growing sense of familiarity. He knew that voice, that face. Where had he met her before? It dawned on him suddenly, she was younger than he'd ever known her. But it was her, it had to be! Grandma Jade!

"Grandma!" He called out in excitement, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. He didn't know how she was here. But she was! Everything was going to be ok.

Jade looked down at the boy hugging her with an awkward smile on her face. From her perspective she'd just broken through the end of the Long Yard on her way from the original Human Session. As soon as she'd entered this Session her awareness had expanded to fill all of its spaces. So it hadn't taken long for her to notice the giant beam of energy streaking through space and these two right in harm's way.

As he broke off the hug, she waved at him and his friend. "Hi Jake." She said. She'd gone into this with a vague idea that that their relationship was going to be flipped in this timeline. But this was just strange. She hesitated, not quite ready to start explaining to him that she wasn't his Grandmother; not with all the difficulties involved. Besides, it was looking like there would be little time for reunions of any kind at all.

Jack Spades had quickly spotted the surviving trio and flown over. Peeved that despite his efforts they were completely unharmed. He sat and hovered there, glaring at them. Clearly intent on finishing what he'd started.

Jade tensed, placing herself between Jack and the others in preparation for the attack that was sure to come. She hadn't seen someone this powerful since Jack Noir in her own session, and he'd been connected to the Green Sun like her. What was this guy's deal? How did he get so strong? No matter, she thought, as she stretched out her awareness again and searched through the session for something sufficiently heavy to throw at him.

But the attack never came. Jack just gave the trio one last glare before flying off towards Derse at top speed, his new master having other plans for him.

The kids stared on in disbelief as the Dersite just flew away. Jade was about to give pursuit when she felt the familiar touch of Troll Psionics begin coursing through her brain, and someone entering her mind from far away. "There you are you brat." Said a feminine voice. "Time to take a nap." It was with horror she realized the Human part of her brain was shutting down, going to sleep; and the dog part being taken over and controlled, riled up for aggression. She tried to call out, tried to warn Jake and Jane of the danger, but the words were choked off into a meaty growl. She served the Condesce now.

Jake immediately noticed the change as his Grandma's posture shifted. Less relaxed and more… imperial. Then she turned around to face them, teeth bared and her expression devoid of Human kindness.

Jane, the nominal leader, was the first to respond. "Hey! What's going-" She started to say, but was cut off as Jade pointed a finger at her, and with a zap put something on her head. Some sort of headband. She reached up to take it off, but before her hand could get half-way a barrage of images and thoughts slammed into her mind.

She screamed as the torturous signals twisted through her own mind, drowning out her hopes and dreams, beating her down. The truth was so clear now; she couldn't win, they couldn't win, not against the Condesce. She could see this now. The woman had bent entire planets to her whim. It was better to give up now and pray to be granted clemency. It was the only way to keep her friends and family safe. The only way. The only way.

Jake took out his pistols and aimed them at Jade, as his friend doubled over in obvious pain. "What did you do to her!" He shouted to Jade, alarmed and confused. But as he focused on her, he failed to notice Jane getting up, dried tears and an equally empty look on her own face. She blindsided him with a punch to the gut, stars rolling across his vision as he folded up into a ball, spent.

Jane chuckled darkly as he faded back into unconsciousness. "What did she do to me?" She said, a look a peace on her face that stood at odds with their situation. "She set me free with the truth. It's all clear now. I know what I have to do in order for us to survive." She patted his limp form. "There, there Jake. We'll keep you and the others nice and safe in Derse jail-cells. You won't have to worry about a thing. I promise you that. I'm going to keep you all safe."

She stood up and faced Jade. The two brainwashed girls sizing each other up, trying to gauge how they each might be a liability in their respective services to the Condesce. Finding nothing obviously wrong with each other they both nodded, and with a green flash both they and Jake were gone. Off to Derse. Off to serve the Condesce's bidding.

Core of Derse's Moon

Dirk awoke to being lightly slapped by a panicking Roxy. Seeing her, he recoiled involuntarily.

She cringed at his reaction, understanding completely. "I understand I'm the last person you probably want to see right now but we're in a bit of a bind here buddy."

Dirk waved her off. "No. It's ok. I get it. You weren't yourself, we'll deal with it later. Where are we?" He looked around trying to get his bearings, slightly disoriented from the fact that no matter where he turned his head the view in the distance stayed the same.

"That's the crux of the problem. We're at Derse." She responded, gesturing to the purple interior of Derse's moon.

"Shit." He said. There was no way they'd gotten here undetected, not in Trickster-Mode. The place was going to be crawling with Pawns, Rooks, and who knew what else before too long. All looking to serve them their asses on a silver platter. They'd never be able to fight through that in their current conditions. They needed to leave, now.

He looked back over to her. "Can you hide us? Like you did before?"

She held up her hand, which was flickering in and out of visibility. "I wish I could pal, I'm having trouble keeping it up here. I'm running on empty."

"Shit." He repeated. Drawing his sword and looking around wildly, trying to pinpoint where the assault on their position would start from. But it would be for naught, as the Condesce, the Queen of Derse herself, appeared next to them suddenly in a green flash.

She struck Dirk first, her hand darting out and grabbing him by the neck. Lifting him into the air. He dropped his sword in shock, hands scrabbling at his restricted airway. But it was no use. She choked him out easily.

Roxy fared little better. The Condesce caught her flying away in a panic and impaled her into her Quest-Slab with her trident. Pinning her there as the life bled out of her.

Dying on the Quest-Slab, Roxy's body began to glow a pearl-white; the God-Tier transformation taking hold. The Condesce just smiled wickedly. Her victory growing closer and closer. She had the most powerful of the children under her direct sway now, along with one of the leaders. This Rouge of Void's skills would soon be amplified and serving her as well, willingly or unwillingly. The present opposition to her rule in this Session was squashed. It was over. She'd won.

She licked her lips and spoke aloud her proclamation of victory.

"Checkmate."