Another story inspired by the 2013 video game. Remember those places where players could have their character's health restored? McCoy has no love for them, or anything that presumes to replace doctors.
Note: My earlier short, "Spock Leaves A Lasting Impression", is set during when McCoy's more thorough follow-up on Kirk. This is the cursory exam that took place just after they returned to the Enterprise.
Leonard McCoy studied the readings from the display screen above Kirk and Spock's adjacent biobeds and made notes on his tablet. He looked up at his two patients, lips pursed. "Aside from a few minor burns, those hairline fractures of Jim's, a little smoke inhalation, and sheer exhaustion, you're both in pretty good shape for two people who've been fighting a war all by themselves all day."
Spock's eyebrow rose. "We were hardly by ourselves, Doctor. In addition to support from the crew of the Enterprise, yourself included, as well as T'Mar-" he raked a gaze in the direction of a surgical recovery room where the Vulcan woman lay unconscious – "and the crew of Frontier-17 starbase, we also managed to avail ourselves of several weapons, both standard and improvised. In addition, we made use of several refreshment stations scattered throughout the various locations we traveled through. By doing so, we were able to sustain ourselves until the mission was complete."
"Refreshment stations?" McCoy scoffed. "I'd better do more thorough bloodwork on the both of you, then. No telling what the Gorn consider 'refreshment'." He scribbled a note on the tablet.
"Great. I'm already feeling like a pin cushion," Kirk moaned, closing his eyes.
"You'll thank me later," McCoy replied, punctuating his words with the tip of his stylus. "Even the standard Starfleet units can only go so far towards healing a man. They'll never replace doctors, let me tell you that."
"They were not intended to." Spock sat up in bed. "They merely exist to provide emergency relief as a stopgap until proper medical care can be accessed."
"Too bad." Kirk swung his legs over the side of his bed. "At least a refreshment station doesn't smart mouth you, or insult your intelligence, or offer unsolicited advice…" he listed, counting on the fingers of one hand.
McCoy's lip curled.
"Nor does it make disparaging remarks about your ancestry, resort to crude obscenities or obscure colloquialisms." Spock folded his arms over his chest, eyeing the doctor with a look of disdain.
McCoy frowned and set the tablet on top of a cart nearby. "Maybe so, but can it do this?" He began to move his feet, arms swaying from side to side, accompanying himself by humming softly. "Da da, da, da da, da, da!" Pivoting around on one foot, he spun until he was facing his patients again and stopped, throwing both arms up in the air, his breathing slightly labored from the light exertion.
Spock raised an eyebrow and turned to Kirk, a disturbed look on his face.
Kirk shook his head at Spock, then turned to McCoy, rolling his eyes. "Another reason I prefer automation," he offered, biting back a grin at the doctor's scowl.