Chapter 16: Introspection

Ino appeared to be rendered speechless at the shocking reveal of Kakashi's face, not that Sakura could blame her. Kakashi's looks were jarring. Most women could guess, even with the mask obscuring his face, he was far from unattractive. But it was one thing to speculate at his handsomeness, and a completely different one to see exactly what he looked like. She wished she could say it gets easier after the first time being exposed to him, but it really doesn't.

One thing that was impossible to ignore though was how Ino saw said face. Sakura watched him pull the mask back over his nose, covering his features once again. But the damage was done. Her eyes narrowed at him suspiciously because she couldn't help but think it was intentional. Sure, no one expected Ino to be right outside her place at some god-awful hour as she was showing him out. However, Kakashi just didn't get caught unaware.

"Ah Ino, what an unexpected surprise to see you here so late," he remarked.

Her friend still seemed to be incapable of talking at the moment. He was masked again, but it looked as if the sight of his bare face was imprinted in her mind. She continued to gawk at him, and it would have been a bit funny, if Sakura's sense of humor was unsurprisingly absent.

"Is she broken?" He asked, and she knew he was smirking in amusement.

"Ino," Sakura loudly said, attempting to snap her out of her trance. "What are you doing here?"

That seemed to finally pull her out of her daze, and her hands finally lowered. "I… I thought I'd stay the night with you. You left in a hurry before, and you were drinking, and well I've been drinking too. But I wanted to make sure you're okay."

Sakura could read between the lines. Ino knew Kakashi followed her after she left the bar and wanted to check on her. The gesture had her feeling a warm rush of affection toward her. Her motive may have been influenced by her tendency to pry in Sakura's affairs, but she was still a good friend.

"Thanks Ino. Of course you can stay." Though as she said it her gaze raised to him.

"Far be it from me to interfere with a girl's night. I'll take my leave." She heard the teasing in his tone, and she didn't understand why he seemed entertained.

He ran his hand down the side of her face before it dropped and enveloped her own. He brought her palm up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. His eyes never strayed from hers as he did it, and she felt herself flushing at the act. It felt far too intimate. She was uncomfortably aware of Ino watching the interaction.

"I'll see you later Sakura. You can come by for dinner around 7." He slowly dropped her hand, but the tension between the two of them was evident. He turned to Ino, "Be sure to take care of her for me."

"Uh… of… course!" she stammered.

When Kakashi was gone Ino rounded on her, "Alright forehead, it's time you explained everything with him."

"That could take a little bit."

"We have all night," Ino said pointedly.

"You know what the really unfair thing about all of this is," Ino finally said, after Sakura finished recounting everything that transpired between Kakashi and her. "How you get a man, that looks like that, chasing after you! I mean my god, his face, he's beautiful. It's just so unbelievably unfair!"

"Ino, did you even listen to what I just told you?" Sakura asked in irritation. "Kakashi being attractive doesn't negate everything else."

"Attractive? What an understatement Sakura," Ino commented. "And of course I did. Even before you told me all this, it doesn't take a genius to see the man's dangerous. I told you as much before, when you still wanted to insist that he wasn't serious about you."

Their prior conversation came to the forefront of her mind, and she grimaced. "I, yeah, you were right Ino. I just didn't want to believe it, couldn't believe… that Kakashi would choose me of all people to want to… date." Was 'date' even the correct term? It seemed far too casual for how he's acted toward her, but nothing else came to mind.

"What I can't believe is hiding a face like that? I mean geez, the man is hotter than Sasuke! How's that even possible?"

"Ino, can you forget about his face for one minute!" She yelled in exasperation.

"That's kind of hard to…" Ino trailed off at the look on Sakura's face. "Okay fine, moving on. So, Kakashi has a pretty unhinged side to him. He's also made it clear he wants more than sex from you, correct?"

"That basically sums it up."

"And despite how… dark he is, you still want him."

That wasn't phrased as a question and her matter-of-fact tone had Sakura floundering. "How could you possibly get that out of this?" She finally asked in disbelief.

"I wouldn't blame you for it. Kakashi is extremely desirable, and no one has ever been able to lock him down. Now, he's decided he wants you and has forsaken all other women entirely. He's taking you on nice dates, has made it clear he wants something more substantial with you. It's flattering, to say the least. It could tempt anyone."

"Yeah, anyone who doesn't know what he's really like."

"Sure, but I know you Sakura. Why would you have allowed him to do these things to you if you didn't want him at all?"

"Allowed him? I didn't allow him! He forced me into it!"

"Yes… and no."

"What the hell does that mean?!"

"Kakashi won't take no for an answer when it comes to you being with him. That much is clear. But it sounds like he's a bit more tolerant when it comes to you setting boundaries physically. You said so yourself, he usually backs off when you say no."

"Until he decides to punish me. Then my no doesn't mean so much to him then."

"So, do you think he would hurt you if you were to vehemently refuse?"

"Well no, he admitted as much that he wouldn't."

"I see." Ino gave her a knowing look, and Sakura realized, she had a point. Why did she give in so easily? Especially this time? The one and only time he hurt her physically was when she fled the village. Even then, he admitted he didn't care for it.

"I hear you Ino. I… I can't explain it. I just feel this urge to obey him when he gets like that. It's like my body just betrays me and I like what he does somehow… he always makes me like it in the end," she whispered reluctantly.

"I understand Sakura."

How could she possibly understand? Ino had more experience than her, but it was the 'normal' kind. How could she comprehend what Sakura herself could not?

"Forehead, I can practically hear your thoughts with that look on your face. I'm not surprised you discovered yourself to have, shall we say, certain tastes regarding sex. It honestly makes sense if you think about it. How many men are actually capable of restraining you, asserting any kind of dominance over you?"

"He said something similar to that," Sakura couldn't help but recall.

"Well, it's true. You could really benefit from some introspection on occasion. It may do you some good, so you aren't so shocked by yourself," Ino teased with a laugh.

Her desire for Kakashi wasn't something she could come to terms with easily, but it was also asinine to deny.

"What does that say about me then? To want someone like him, even on a primitive level, it's appalling."

"It says you're human Sakura. Besides, I noticed the way he looked at you."

"The way he looked at me?"

"Just before, you didn't notice? It's telling, honestly."

"He looks at me like he wants to own me."

"He's certainly possessive." Sakura snorted disdainfully, but Ino ignored her and continued, "but that wasn't what I saw earlier. He had a softness to his face when he looked at you, like you really mattered to him."

"Even if that's true, even if he is capable of caring about me, it doesn't change anything."

"I didn't say it did. I was merely pointing it out because it's a lot harder to ignore a man's advances who really likes you, versus a man who just wants to fuck you – especially one like Kakashi. You've acknowledged you want him on some level. That's a good thing, because then you aren't fighting yourself when it comes to him. You can recognize your attraction without losing your head."

"You think so?" Sakura asked doubtfully.

"Of course. If you're at odds with yourself, it makes everything even harder."

"So, what are you saying? That he's gorgeous, and likes me, so I shouldn't care about anything else?!"

"Of course not. Though, admittedly, I would have just let him have his way with me if I were you. Can you imagine how good the sex would be?"

"Ino, please be serious!"

"Oh, I am. But now that we've recognized the affect he has on you, it's time to talk about battle strategy."

"Battle strategy?! I could sneak into his home while he's sleeping, and I'd still end up humiliated."

"That's obvious, you don't need to spell it out for me. What I mean is how you're going to use his feelings for you to gain the advantage. Just as The Hokage suggested to you. He's not a man who will be deterred by outright refusal, and no one is powerful enough to threaten him."

"He doesn't really care what I say most of the time."

"If that was true, he wouldn't have listened to you when you've genuinely asked for something. He would have just done what he wants regardless."

Sakura was silent at that because it was true. When he spared Sasuke, that was her first glimpse of her words having any kind of influence on him. Even when he was consumed by bloodlust he backed down, however reluctantly, because of her.

"He's a damaged man, that much is clear. I don't think he even knows how to pursue you in a healthy way. Though, in my opinion, he does want to win your affection."

"Oh yeah, everything he's doing is a sure way to win me over," Sakura said sarcastically.

"He has issues obviously, but I think you can tame him in the end."

"Right," she huffed. 'Tame' Kakashi, that will be the day she manages that.

"Well, so long as you're along for the ride now you may as well try. He's not changing his mind, right?"

"Not anytime soon it seems."

"So, what's stopping you then? He's the one with all the power now, but that's because you've let him have it. Use his feelings for you to your benefit. See what you can get away with then. Emotional blackmail can work wonders for a man like him."

"I, I'm not sure. It just seems like it'll give me even more problems with him."

"Are you concerned you'll fall for him?"

"Of course not! He's not someone I CAN consider seriously. To give my heart to him… I may as well rip it out of my chest and stomp on it then. It won't happen."

Ino was worried for her friend. Seeing how ridiculously attractive he was for herself certainly complicated things. Most women would be seduced by that fact alone, despite his frightening nature at times. Add in the fact he appeals to Sakura sexually, and it only made things more difficult. His unhinged side stemmed from somewhere, more than likely a tragic past. He wasn't completely irredeemable because he certainly wouldn't be on their side then. And she had a feeling that fact would be Sakura's downfall. Someone who was utterly terrible, no matter how hot they were, wouldn't remotely tempt Sakura. But things were usually never so black and white, and Kakashi was a prime example of that. Sakura has never been drawn to stable men. She fell in love with Sasuke, despite knowing how damaged he was. He was the first, and Ino doubted he'd be the last.

How Sakura was engaging with him now wasn't getting her anywhere though. Ino meant what she said about leveling the playing field. He was controlling and had some kink for submission, but he was also trying to romance her. The one saving grace out of all of this was he did care. It may not be in the way normal men displayed it, but it was irrefutably there. 'He was just aggressive and insane about it,' she thought dryly to herself.

Would he be able to gentle his violent nature for Sakura's sake? Sakura deserved to have love, probably more than almost anyone she knew. Was Kakashi capable of real, genuine love, given his nature so far? She honestly wasn't sure.

After her talk with Ino, Sakura felt even more conflicted. She was grateful Ino didn't judge her for lusting after him, because frankly, she should. It was indefensible. But to speculate about Sakura falling for him, as if that was even a possibility? Did her misguided feelings for Sasuke in the past make her appear so foolish?

Though, Kakashi's admission earlier was troubling. It was one thing to acknowledge his obsession with her, and another to find out how much deeper it really ran. He offered her 'everything' if she agreed to be with him. The implications of such an open-ended promise weren't lost on her.

She could feel her heart race beneath her breastbone as she stood outside of his apartment building. How would he act now? She knew what her mentor had suggested, what Ino had advised as well. The problem was she still don't know what that meant for her. Did she even want to do that? That sounded like she was throwing in the towel when it came to him.

She knocked on his door when she realized she couldn't stall any longer. He greeted her, far quicker than she would have liked, with the laid-back demeanor he tended to display.

'How unsettling.' She shifted her body nervously as he took in her appearance.

"Ah, Sakura! You look lovely," he greeted.

She raised a skeptical brow in response. That wasn't the word she would use. Her pink hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, she had on old shorts, and a baggy t-shirt. She put even less of an effort in than she normally would to spite him.

"That was far from the goal," she muttered. She watched as amusement lit up his face at her response. "Oh? Well, I hate to say it, but you didn't achieve your objective in that case."

"Right."

"Please come in."

She took a hesitant step forward and felt his hand press lightly against her lower back, ushering her in. She couldn't help but take in her surroundings. She noticed books thrown haphazardly around, but besides being a bit disorganized, it was clean. The whole place was spacious, and though he clearly liked the finer things, nothing was impractical.

"Dinner will be ready in about a half an hour. I hope you like curry."

She nodded in affirmation, as the pleasant smell of it reached her nose. She watched him work with reluctant fascination. Something about Kakashi cooking was far too domestic. He was unmasked, but that was becoming a common occurrence at this point. She took in his handsome features while he was stirring.

"No one has ever been able to see your face unless you wished it," she finally said. "Yet, Ino managed it."

"Imagine that."

"I know it was intentional, it's you."

He laughed but didn't reply. "So, why did you allow her to see it?"

"Fun mostly."

"Fun?" She stared as a smile formed on his face, and she was once again distracted by his looks.

"Mhm."

That was it? It was fun for him to subject Ino to all his glory? He wasn't even there long enough to really appreciate her reaction to him.

"Well thanks to your FUN I had to listen to Ino go on about your stupid face."

"Is that so?" The smirk tugging at his lips made her pause. The bastard wanted that to happen, though she was in the dark as to why.

"Why would you…" she trailed off because she decided she wasn't going to humor him by asking his intentions. That's what he wanted and for once, something he wanted from her, she could actually deny him. So, she stubbornly crossed her arms and remained silent.

When he was no longer looking at her, she raised her eyes again. He was wearing a tank top, which did nothing to cover his rather appealing arms. Her gaze found his ANBU tattoo that was visible, before trailing down his very muscular bicep.

'Stop it! You know he's ridiculously hot, this isn't new,' she admonished herself, swallowing nervously. Though she kept sneaking glances, and when his hand came to run his fingers through his hair, she watched every flex of the defined muscles in his arm.

"Sakura," he said in a low tone.

"Y-yes."

His back was to her, and she dryly observed that the muscles there were just as distracting. She had to get a handle on her dangerous attraction to him in this way.

"Do you want something?"

"What are you talking about?" She managed to squeak out, quickly looking away from him.

"Would you like me to bend you over the counter and take you?" He turned to face her and the playfulness he showed before had vanished. His eyes stared at her intensely and she could see the desire etched on his face.

"What?! No!"

He tapped his nose conspicuously and she turned red in realization.

His posture was tense, and she released her breath when he finally turned back to what he was doing. "You know, your blatant attraction tests me in the worst way Sakura."

"You're very handsome." Her tone was purposely flat, to illustrate it didn't matter. "That's all it is."

"Really? Do you get aroused by every man you find attractive?"

"You say with such certainty that you're the only one I have this… reaction for. And yet, I'm not ALLOWED to spend time with any other men outside of my teammates. Hardly a fair assertion."

"Are you really going down this path again?"

"I'm not saying I have anyone in mind. I'm just pointing out the obvious," she said hurriedly.

"You know, most women would be thrilled to capture my attention in this way," he stated bluntly.

"I'm not them."

"No, you're not." She saw a peculiar look on his profile before he continued, "You're definitely special."

She needed to divert the subject. "I know you're bound to go on a mission in a few days."

He glanced at her as he poured a helping of curry in a bowl. "It's likely."

"And you're still set on me remaining behind?"

"If it's a high-level mission, yes. I told you what I need from you to reassess things."

"Fuck you," she growled.

"See, that's precisely what I mean."

"We're not on a mission now, it doesn't count."

He sat across from her smirking. "I'd give you that, if your attitude wasn't the exact same with me outside of the village."

She sighed dejectedly at his remark. This wasn't fair, she was only that way because of him. Now, she had to grovel because he had far too much control over things, over her.

"How about we train tomorrow? I didn't forget my promise about teaching you fire style."

She wanted to say no to spite him, but she also was really tempted by the possibility of being skilled at it. "Fine, whatever."

She could tell he was satisfied, though he thankfully didn't say anything further. She took a bite of the curry and the slightly sweet taste hit her tastebuds.

"Thank you for the meal, it's very good."

"Of course!" He smiled again, and she took note of how young he really looked. He barely looked older than her.

"How do you always seem to know what foods I'd like?"

"I notice things, believe it or not."

If it was anyone else saying that she would consider it sweet. But it was him, so it wasn't.

"Kakashi," she spoke, after they both finished their meals in silence.

"Hm?"

"Not going on high-level missions makes me unhappy."

"I know."

"And well, I just think it would be in both of our interest if I'm happy."

She could tell she had his full attention so she continued, "If you change your mind about it, well, it would certainly please me."

She couldn't tell what he was thinking as she made eye contact with him. "And I know you care about my happiness, since you've said how much you adore me."

"You're trying to manipulate me again," he finally said shrewdly.

"No, I'm…" she tried to deny, but he cut her off. "You are, except no one's life is on the line this time. Let me guess, your friend encouraged you to go this route with me."

As crazy as he could be, he was also way too perceptive. "If you're going to attempt it, your subtlety needs some work."

He stood up and made his way over to her in a casual manner, though she was on edge at his closeness. In a second, he grabbed her waist and flickered them both over to the couch. If she was at a disadvantage already, it was even more pronounced with him pinning her to the cushions.

"This tactic won't sway me to put YOUR life on the line."

"How could my life be in danger with you there?"

"Oh, that was clever of you." She felt his hands come up to grasp the outside of her thighs, pulling her into him more. "But if you disregard my orders, and I'm otherwise engaged, do you see the dilemma I have? Even I'm not a god."

She was far too distracted by her legs wrapped around his trim waist. "I, give me a chance to put you at ease. One B-rank mission, and if I meet your expectations, you'll let me back on."

"We'll see."

His noncommittal answer had her resorting to less savory means of getting his agreement. She leaned forward to press a kiss to his jawline and his gaze on her darkened. "Don't play with me this way," he warned.

"Why are you so concerned something will happen to me? Your track record is impeccable. Has anyone ever died that was on a team with you?"

"They have." That haunted look she'd seen before was present again, and she felt sympathy rise in her begrudgingly.

"When?"

"A long time ago. I've learned from my mistakes."

Mistakes? As in more than one? "What happened?" She asked softly.

"It doesn't matter now." His face was a blank mask once again, and she knew he wouldn't elaborate on it.

"It does since it's affecting me. Do you know how hard I've worked to get to where I am now?"

"I do." There was no tease in his voice. "You have both a fighter and healer spirit. That's extremely uncommon in our world. To come from a civilian background and to be as accomplished as you are. It's admirable. You should be proud of yourself, Sakura."

She gasped at his unexpected recognition. He leaned closer to her face, and her ear tingled where his lips brushed against it. "Appease me and I'll give you what you want."

"One B-mission Kakashi. I'll prove I can play by your rules."

"Oh?" His lips pressed against hers briefly before looking at her.

"On missions though. I'm not talking about anything else."

His smirk was far more appealing than it should be. No one should look that good with that arrogant expression on their face, and yet, he certainly did. "That's all I want… for now."

Did he just agree to her terms?! It certainly sounded like it, and so her mood improved as a result. He incensed her, but she wouldn't allow her temper to impact her career as a Shinobi. It wasn't fair, but like it or not, she was in Kakashi's world. Adapt to him or stay home.

"I want to make you happy Sakura," he said unexpectedly, disrupting her thoughts.

"Do you really? You're forcing me to date you."

"You won't give me a chance on your own," he stated shamelessly.

"Insane," she muttered. "You're so disturbed."

"Say what you will. I gave you the choice to be willing in this."

"I won't ever want you this way. What you're doing is pointless."

"I'll win you in the end."

"Your arrogance knows no bounds."

"I know what I want. I can give you more than any other man can. I'll prove it to you over time."

"You can't give me what I actually want. Don't you understand?" She left the word love unspoken.

He was silent at her response. When his lips descended on hers, she thought she got his answer. He couldn't actually give her that, and he knew it. As he dominated her mouth, she began to give into the physical sensations he elicited. As he nipped and sucked his way down her neck, she tightened her legs around him in response.

"You're the first person to make me feel things in a very long time." She froze at his words spoken against her skin. "I know what you're implying. Do you really think I'd genuinely pursue you if I wasn't capable of giving you everything? I'm not that cruel, not when it comes to you."

He didn't wait for a response before his mouth was back on her. He was growing more insistent, his hands were everywhere, and she was getting overwhelmed. She knew she was wet, but she also knew she couldn't give into him, not now.

"Kakashi, wait! You have to stop, please!" She said, just as his mouth was closing in on her hardened peak, that was jutting prominently against her t-shirt. Her breathing was embarrassingly ragged from his ministrations.

Thankfully, he did stop, though he didn't look content. "You're such a tease." She was too nervous to even refute such a ridiculous claim.

"Are you sure? Say the word, and I'll reacquaint you with my tongue."

"I have no desire for it."

She suddenly had said appendage licking her bottom lip, slowly, seductively, before tracing the seam of her mouth. She caught his smoldering gaze, and she had the urge to break something, preferably his jaw. "Liar," he whispered.

'How could someone as deranged as him be so sexy?' She thought miserably to herself.

"I'd like you to stay with me tonight."

"Are you telling me to?"

"It's a request."

"No," she said quickly. "I'd like to go home then."

She could see he wasn't happy with her refusal, but she thankfully felt his weight leave her. "One day you won't say no."

"Keep telling yourself that," she retorted.

"You can't leave without a good night kiss at least." He said from behind her, as she made her way to the door.

"No, thank you."

"That wasn't a request this time." She wasn't prepared for his onslaught as he backed her into the door. It was like he wanted to mark her with his mouth, as his kiss grew hungrier. The forcefulness of it hinted at his anger with her denial. He picked her up, so he no longer had to lean down to capture her mouth.

"You're lucky I don't tie you to my bed Sakura."

Why was she getting more aroused by that, why?! Was she broken?!

"I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"N-no," she managed, as his hands groped her cheeks possessively.

"You'd be helpless before me. I think you would beg me to take you, what do you think?"

She moaned as he ground his hardness against her. His mouth was still claiming hers, and she couldn't recall when she began kissing him back. When her own hands tangled in his hair to pull him closer. When she began to mindlessly rub against him, he stopped abruptly.

"It's too bad you want to leave Sakura." He set her down, and she could feel how flushed her face was. "Would you like me to walk you home?"

She knew then he was toying with her, using her desire to show exactly how much control he really had over her. Her face reddened in humiliation at the cocky look on his face.

Her hand reached up to smack him, though her wrist was caught in his steel grip. "Careful Sakura."

"Let go," she growled.

He released her hand, though his eyes were warning her. "I was simply making a point. You're free to change your mind about staying. I'd love nothing more."

"In your dreams."

"I tend to make my dreams reality, just so you know."

Kakashi's assertion that he thought himself capable of… what she wanted. It was almost comical, considering what he was like. Unfortunately, he sounded completely serious. She felt suffocated by him. His allure, his seductiveness, his overbearing, possessive nature. She felt as if she was immersed in all of it and there was no escape. No escape from him, and his affections, and his terrifying intensity.

She was also scared of herself. It didn't escape her notice she was giving into his attentions easier and easier. She knew why she shouldn't be drawn to him in the least, and yet, here she was.

'It has to be your hormones. Your stupid lust clouds your judgment, nothing more,' she thought to herself in irritation.

She sighed as she kicked off her shoes once she got home. Did she even want to shower before crashing on her bed? She decided she didn't. She just wanted not to think about Kakashi, about her own confusing feelings over everything.

It was then, in her frazzled, anxious state that she was finally brought into awareness of something… She wasn't alone. Someone's chakra was there, faint, but undeniably in her apartment. Her head whipped around for the source, stance guarded, before she saw him in the darkness of her living room. Leaning against the wall watching her, with his arms crossed. There weren't many who would break into her apartment and look completely nonchalant when she confronted them. But when she met the gaze of the Sharingan, she thought to herself; he was unfortunately one of the few who was unconcerned with her deadly fists.

"Hello again, Sakura."

Please review and let me know your thoughts. It's really motivating if I know people are enjoying the story.

I won't bother apologizing for the cliffhanger... I think it's easier to expect it from me at this point.🙈

I know I just wrote this chapter, but I'm particularly excited for the upcoming one!😏