Edward: Hey Alice, how was the…
Alice: Zip it. What the hell?
Edward: What's wrong?
Alice: Damn it Edward, you can read my mind, you know damn well what the problem is.
Edward: Oh…but Alice, we're not married yet.
Bella: Wait, THAT'S why we were alone?
Alice: Damn right. I actually thought this one… *pointing at Edward* …would get the message and fuck your brains out.
Edward: But Alice, that would kill her.
Alice: NOT LITERALLY, YOU IDIOT!
Bella: Though to be fair, that's not entirely impossible either.
Alice: You're not helping your case.
Bella: I know, but…
Alice: Oh, and don't think I didn't see your marriage plans.
Edward: But Alice, me and Bella were supposed to tell the family together that we're getting married.
Alice: Oh, come on Edward. They didn't need my powers to know this shit was coming a mile away. But anyway Bella…
Bella: Do I look like the sort of person who wants a big ceremony?
Alice: You might not, but I do.
Bella: You're not the bride of this wedding.
Alice: Yes, but I'm the Maid of Honour, therefore…
Bella: When did I decide that?
Alice: I decided for you.
Bella: That's not how this…
Alice: Shut up. As your official wedding planner…
Bella: I haven't even hired you yet.
Alice: Yeah, but you will.
Bella: Vegas weddings don't typically need a wedding planner.
Alice: Which is why you're not getting married in Vegas.
Bella: That's not your decision to…
Alice: Too late, already made it for you.
Bella: I'll hate you forever.
Alice: Soon enough you'll see that's not true *leaves*
Edward: Okay, time to take you to the meeting spot.
Bella: Where is that exa… *Edward picks her up and runs to the spot* …actly? Wait, when did we get here?
Edward: You know I can run fast, right?
Bella: Did you even bother to make sure my scent was all over the place first?
Edward: Of course I did. I made sure your hand touched every tree on the way here, without even slowing down.
Bella: *looking at her palm, that's now bleeding because it's been scraped against dozens of trees at high speed* …I see.
Jacob: Hey guys.
Edward: Hey buddy, are you ready for this?
Jacob: *fistbumping Edward* You know it man *sees Bella's bloody palm* What happened to her?
Bella: Someone decided to use the forest as a power sander on my hand.
Jacob: Silly Bella, why would you do that to yourself?
Bella: I was referring to…
Edward: Anyway, do you know where to go?
Jacob: Yeah, about nine miles that way, right?
Edward: Yep, that's right buddy.
Bella: Is everyone just going to ignore the fact that I'm bleeding quite heavily?
Jacob: Alright, up you come *lifts Bella easily*
Bella: Apparently so.
Jacob: So, are you nervous about the fight tomorrow?
Bella: Well, I mean, some people I care about are going to be in it, so…yeah.
Jacob: You mean like me?
Bella: Well, yeah…
Jacob: And Edward?
Bella: Well, no…
Jacob: Wait, I thought you loved Edward?
Bella: I do, but…
Jacob: Then what's the problem?
Bella: It's just that…
Jacob: Did you two have a fight?
Bella: No, I…
Jacob: What did you fight about?
Bella: We didn't have a…
Jacob: Was it about you hurting your hand?
Bella: You're not listening to me, are you?
Jacob: You know what? I should pick up the pace, get you to the camp so you can make up with Edward.
Bella: Didn't think so.
Jacob: Hey, if you've broken up with Edward, does that mean I have a chance now?
Bella: And that's where I'm ending the convers…
Jacob: Hush Bella, we're at the meeting spot.
Bella: That seemed a bit qui…
Jacob: Now, if you want, I can talk to him first to soften him up, but ultimately, you'll have to be the one to reconcile with him.
Bella: Why are YOU the one giving ME relationship advice?
Jacob: Okay, if you're sure you don't want my help, I'll go see how things are going with Sam and the others *runs into the woods to change*
Edward: Why did you tell Jacob we broke up?
Bella: Please, Edward, I can't deal with two people's worth of stupidity right now. I haven't got enough blood left for it.