a/n: this is the final chapter of this story, though a short epilogue will follow in a few days. thanks for all of the feedback and support over the last several months!

Mid-December, Kate's Apartment

Rick and Kate had decided that the "we need to talk" conversation could wait, at least until Jim was out of the hospital. Of course, they were just delaying the inevitable but they both appreciated the handful of extra days in each other's company, even if it had been spent mostly at the hospital. Rick was feeling tragically optimistic about it all. Kate had already decided that she wanted him with her by her father's bedside for more than just one day like she had originally agreed to. In fact, she had told him at least a dozen times how grateful she was to have him there with her. He was grateful too, to be with her even under these messy circumstances. So he was feeling optimistic that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't do what he knows she will.

Three days after his crash, Jim was discharged from the hospital and Rick and Kate brought him back to his apartment where his sister Teresa was waiting for him. After nearly two years, Kate finally shared with her aunt the full extent of Jim's addiction and she agreed to come up from Jersey to help him with his continued recovery. With that, though, it was just about "we need to talk" o'clock.

"So, Arizona? I hear it's beautiful there this time of year," Rick says, a smile on his face in attempt to mask his breaking heart.

"Rick..."

"We agreed we'd talk about this when your dad got out of the hospital, so it's...it's time to talk about this."

"I don't have to go with him," Kate states. "I can stay."

"But you don't want to do that," Rick says.

"Well, it's not really a matter of want," Kate fires back. "I actually don't want to be making this decision at all."

"I know, Kate, I know," Rick says. "I understand. So, does that make this a long distance relationship, then?"

"Rick," Kate says after a few failed moments of holding back tears. "It's for the best, if, if we don't..."

She can't bring herself to say the words. "Say it, Kate. You have to say it," Rick growls sternly.

"Please don't be mad at me. This is already impossible."

"I know, Kate. I'm sorry. I know it is. But you, you have to say it," Rick says. "You have to say it. And then you have to listen to me beg you not to do this, because it's impossible for me, too."

"You know, when I first met you, I never in a million years could have imagined how much of an amazing man you are, Rick," Kate says.

"Please, Kate, you have to say it," Rick pleads.

"You once said that before you met me, you were drowning, how everything changed for you after you met me. Well that's true for me about you, too. I am certain that without you by my side, I could have never gotten through these past few months. I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you've done for me. And that's more than you will ever know. But," Kate says, tears rolling unabated down her cheeks.

"Not the 'but'", Castle sighs, tears staining his cheeks as well.

"I'm so sorry, Castle. But I have to be there for my dad. I need to do this, not just for him, but for me, too," Kate says. "I need to heal, too."

"You're not broken, Kate," Rick says.

"I am, though," Kate says. "I am. And that's okay. But this time with my dad, I really need it to be our restart. Our lives have been a slow burning dumpster fire since my mom died, and, and, we need a restart. So I have to do this. And I have to do this by giving as much of myself to this process as I can. And that means, that means I can't be with you anymore."

"Kate, you don't have to do this. We can make this work," Rick says. "Please."

"You know, when I asked my dad why he was driving to see me that night, he told me it was because he thought he needed to be there for me," Kate explains. "He said that he was so drunk, he'd convinced himself that it was January and the anniversary of my mother's death and that he needed to be there for me. And then I asked him why he was even drinking in the first place and he told me he thought it was my mother's birthday and he got sad, so he drank. Except, my mom's birthday is in February and if he was actually doing better than before the answer would've been that he was drinking because he's an alcoholic."

"Yeah, admitting that you have a problem, that's the first step," Rick sighs.

"Which is why he needs this, because it's like those six weeks upstate never happened," Kate continues to fight back sobs.

"Kate, I'm so sorry. I wish I could make this easier for you," Rick says.

"I need a clean break, that's how you make this easier," Kate tells him. "Well, as clean as this could possibly be, because it's already so fucking messy."

"Breaking up won't make this easier," Rick says. "It won't make me stop loving you."

"It won't make me stop loving you, either," Kate agrees. "But it means that my dad can have as much of my undivided attention as he needs. That I can give all of myself to healing. Even though I will miss you like crazy, I won't have to worry about the logistics of a relationship that complicate things. So, while I never want to stop being your friend, while I never want to stop loving you, I know that what is best for my family, is for us to break up."

Rick finally hears the words and they hit him like a ton of brick, a gut punch, a stab through the heart. As much as he hates what's happening, he understands it. As much as he hates what's happening, he knows that Kate is right. Relationships divide attention, construe priorities. There's a reason that addicts are discouraged from pursuing relationships while in the acute recovery process. Even though it's not Kate who is the addict, Rick has known her long enough to understand that she can't ever fully commit to him if she sees herself as broken. Still, as much as he understood the logic, the ache in his heart wanted him to get on the floor and beg her to stay.

"What if, what if I came with you? To Arizona?"

"No, Rick. No," Kate rejects.

"Why not? It's the...it's a compromise. It could work," Castle says. "It could work."

"No, it won't," Kate says. "You need to be here. You're needed here. Alexis needs you."

"You're needed here too, Kate."

"My dad needs me. That's what matters right now. That's all that matters," Kate tells him. "I'm sorry."

"Fine," Rick accepts. "But you need to do something before you leave. For me."

"What?"

"You need to tell Lanie," Rick insists.

"No, she, she doesn't need to know."

"You have to tell her because it's not all about your dad. You need someone who can be there for you, too. And if I can't be your person anymore, she needs to know," Rick says. "She's your best friend, Kate. You can't go to Arizona without her knowing why. Please, you need to."

"Okay, you're right. I'll-I'll tell her."

"Good," Rick sighs.

"She's going to be so mad at me for not telling her sooner," Kate gulps.

"Come on, it's Lanie. She would never be mad at you for this. She'll understand."

"You're right. As usual," Kate says, resting her head on Rick's shoulder as they curl into each other on the living room couch.

"Wow, now that we're exes you admit that," Rick jokes.

Kate laughs through her tears and gives him a playful smack on his chest. "This really sucks," she whispers after a long pause. "I'm sorry I put you through this."

"Kate, come on," Rick scoffs. "Knowing you is one of the greatest honors of my life. I wouldn't change that for the world, and I'd go through this heartbreak million more times if it meant it was you and me in the end."

"You're gonna make me cry again," Kate tells him. "But, um, right back at you, handsome."

"Yeah? So, um, does that mean that I can call you when you get back to New York?" Rick asks.

"How about I call you?" Kate counters.

"Deal," Rick nods. "Uh, you know I would sit here all night with you if I could, but I've probably got two very cranky red heads at home in need of dinner, so..."

"So, can I walk you out?" Kate asks. They take their time getting to their feet but eventually they're standing in the doorway about to say their goodbyes.

"Let Martha and Alexis how much I..." Kate begins to say before fading away. How much I love them?

"Of course," Rick agrees.

"Okay, um, goodbye, Rick," Kate says with a lump in her throat.

"Goodbye, Kate," Rick replies.

"One for the road?" Kate asks after neither of them move.

Rick smiles, leaning down for one last earth-shattering, heart-wrenching kiss, and whispers, "always."