Chapter 4-Time to Talk
Thomas and Katherine talk about the incident, and Thomas admits his feelings for her.
"Who can tell me what the four humors are?" Katherine asked her students before calling on a boy named James.
"Blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile," he responded.
"Very good. We will go into further detail about the humors, starting with blood. If you will turn to the next page in your tracts….,"
Thomas's first chance to talk to Katherine that day was dinner break. He grabbed a bowl of soup and made a beeline for the table she was seated at. She was also eating soup. She looked up and acknowledged her colleague with a nod.
"Katie, about what happened yesterday-" Thomas started to apologize after saying grace to himself.
"Tom, don't worry about it," she assured her friend, holding up a hand. " It was hard to relive it is all. I want to put it behind me," Katherine explained, nibbling on a bit of bread she used to sop up the remainder of her soup. She knew he was sorry about what happened. He didn't have to apologize. But they did need to talk.
"How about we talk about it more later? Say, over supper?" Thomas suggested in an apologetic tone.
Katherine nodded in agreement, suggesting that they do some work as well.
"Sounds like a date," Thomas replied with a smile.
As usual, the papers were sorted on the kitchen table to give themselves space to work. After they finished, Katherine finally decided something else was to be resolved. She slid the papers into her folio and set it to the side. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, nervous about what would transpire.
"All right, I'm ready to talk," she told her friend.
"I'm ready to listen," Thomas replied, folding his hands on the table. He was just as nervous; he also had something important to tell her.
"I understand why you had to do it. I'm still not happy about it. I felt like I was reliving the whole thing." referring to the affidavits.
"Was it because of Brandon?" Thomas asked Katherine, leaning back in his chair and stroking his chin. He sensed she was upset about rehashing the incident, so he wanted to talk to her about it that night.
"Part of it was. The other part was you," she admitted.
"What do you mean?" Thomas asked, a little puzzled.
"I was a little scared when I saw you pin him against the doorframe. Don't get me wrong, I know you were trying to protect me, but I had never seen that side of you. It was a little unnerving," Katherine explained.
"To be honest, I was scared too," Thomas admitted, much to Katherine's surprise.
"What do you have to be scared of?" She didn't understand what someone like him would have to fear. He was in good with the king, and he was a lawyer, so he had plenty to fall back upon. He had it made in her book.
"That I would lose you; how you acted after we wrote the affidavits made me afraid that I would lose two important things: the school and you. Not just as a colleague, but a friend, and maybe more."
"Tom, what are you trying to say?" She had a feeling about what he was getting at, but she wanted him to spit it out.
"It's because I love you," he muttered. He still wasn't ready to admit it to her face yet.
Katherine hated it when people muttered. Her late husband had an annoying habit of that, and she would ask him to "speak like a normal person" when he did. She felt that they could do so audibly if someone had something to say.
"Could you speak up, please?" Katherine asked her friend.
"I love you!" Thomas said with enough emphasis to make him stand, "I haven't felt like this since I was married. When I sat with you at mass the other day, my heart skipped a beat. My heart sank when you walked away from me in the dining hall. I used to have a whip, and I threw it into the river on the way to mass because of what you told me about embracing the idea that I was a human with human feelings," he confessed to her.
Katherine's jaw nearly hit the floor. A whip? My God, What did he do to himself? She thought.
After Thomas was done, Katherine realized she also had a few things to confess. She crossed herself, praying that she wasn't going to regret it.
"Thanks to you, I feel safe for the first time since I married Edward. That's why I was upset about the affidavits. I felt it was a secret safe with us like the other times he bothered me. I was worried that I couldn't trust you anymore. You're the only one that has faith in me here," she confessed to him.
"Well, that's not true. Harry does. So does Master Cromwell. And you managed to earn Cardinal Wolsey's respect," Thomas pointed out.
"But you're the one that matters to me. You're the one that stood up for me. You're the one that's made me feel safe and happy again," Katherine told him, emphasizing the "you's" and how he made her feel.
Thomas raised an eyebrow, wondering if she was also trying to say something. If that was the case, it was time for her to speak up. He was hoping the feeling was mutual.
"Are you trying to say what I think you are?" Thomas asked Katherine, hoping he might hear something he hadn't in years.
"Yeah, I guess I am. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't come out and say it myself; I love you, too," Katherine eventually told him with a sigh.
Thomas smiled and offered his friend a hug. She rose and accepted, and a calm feeling washed over them. He was relieved and happy at the same time. He was afraid that he had blown it. Finally, he let go, took her hand, and led her to the couch. He wanted to talk to her a bit more but in a more comfortable setting.
They sat beside each other, and Thomas put his arm over the back of the couch. Katherine sighed and leaned back. The tension in the air, which had once been so thick it could be cut with a knife, decreased significantly.
"Well, now that's out, where do we go from here?" Katherine asked.
"The only place we can; onwards and upwards. If we end up married and having children, then we have John's accidental gift as a matchmaker to thank," Thomas told her,
After evening prayers, Thomas noted the late hour. He asked her if she would like to stay the night. While he felt he was pushing his luck by having her as an overnight guest, he didn't care at the moment; they would be sleeping in separate rooms, so nothing would happen.
"All right. But I'm sleeping in a different room. I don't want us to get into trouble," Katherine told him. She wouldn't have minded sleeping with him, but she knew she was pushing it already. He agreed as he led her upstairs to a spare room.
He opened the door to the room and got a small fire going before fetching a shirt for her to wear to bed. Thomas went to his room to change into his nightshirt. He returned to say bedtime prayer with her, but not before offering her a hug.
She's not lying, he thought as she leaned into him, hugging him as closely as possible and rubbing his back. He tucked her head under his chin, breathing her in and doing the same thing.
It felt…nice for both of them. Neither wanted to let go but knew they had to so they could say their bedtime prayers. So they did, reluctantly, and knelt in front of the bed together, saying a brief prayer.
Thomas wanted to go to bed with her but didn't trust himself. Not yet, at least. He gave her a quick hug and kissed her forehead, telling her good night before going to bed in his room.
Later that night, he walked into the other room to check on her, as he did with his children when they were young. As he still did with John when he visited. The humanist gently squeezed her hands and kissed her forehead.
"May God keep you through the night and always," Thomas whispered in her ear before retiring to bed himself.
Thomas drew a sigh of relief as he went to his bed. He managed to avoid the urge to join his friend in her bed. But this was just the first time she spent the night.
He wasn't sure if he could control himself the next time, and he knew there would be a next time.