What's this? An update? From mee?
- ; -
"Zabuza."
Kakashi says the name in a manner that Sasuke rethinks Naruto's theory about the man having canines.
"Gato had no intention of paying a fee. To continue this mission is pointless. You have my word and honor as a Shinobi of Konoha, that if you leave I won't hunt you down. We can let bygones be bygones. Peace and love. All that fun stuff."
Oh have mercy.
"Don't listen to him! I had every intention of paying you!"
A highly shrill voice swipes Sasuke's attention. What looked to be a large flashmob of West-side Story makes its way onto the bridge. Harrowing men following a miniature man chewing a cigar. The man, Gato, was sweating bullets.
Appearing anything but with the intention of paying Zabuza.
Zabuza drops him.
Limp and defeated in a way that should be beyond impossible, Sasuke's lies on the ground. Deeming it an appropriate time to have a psychotic break.
Honestly, given everything. This was bound to happen. Why not now. Here. between two asshole assassins growing principles all of a sudden.
"Stand straight, gloomy brat," Zabuza prods him with a disgusting toe. "Today's your lucky day. Don't forget this kindness."
"Kindness," Sasuke seethes up at the man. Tone cold and unforgiving. "Give me a Goddamned break."
Zabuza arches an unseen eyebrow.
"That's right," Kakashi's voice rings. Pinning him with a look promising prompt psychiatric care away from scary assassins. "Lucky day, Sasuke-chan."
Everything about this is hurting his head.
Zabuza crouches low and zips across the bridge in a blur. Baritone screaming. "GATOO!"
"Teme," Naruto skedaddles away from Zabuza's imminent manslaughtering and skids to the ground. Gripping him by the arm. Pain in his eyes. "Teme. You gotta start being more careful! That creep looked ready to kill you."
"Yeah," Sasuke breathes, sitting up and watching Zabuza's sword swoop aside a man's spleen. "That could have been me."
That could have been me you self-righteous motherfuckers!
"Damn right!" Naruto doesn't pull back, grip beginning to hurt. Green around the gills. "Good, heh, thing Kaka-sensei let Gato talk. Man, who knew a mafia boss couldn't lie to save his life!"
Sasuke cowers. Hunching on himself, hysterical giggles trembling deep inside his chest.
Everything was perfect. He was about to die. About to sleep.
He smacks the bridge. Wondering if he was having a simple nightmare and all these terrible coincidences of Kakashi and Gato were fake.
His grip on reality was getting fucking tenuous.
"...should have known."
"Uh…" Naruto wavers. "Uh. Teme? Known..what?"
He could have died. Right here on this bridge had they been a handful seconds quicker. Rid of this sickening world he didn't belong in. Had no business in. This body wasn't even his.
"I should have known," Sasuke mutters to himself, laughter building. Giggling bubbling up. Really, he should have listened to Kenji.
Dying? Yeah right. Fool him thrice! He's not allowed!
"Fucking Plot," he wheezes. He looks up at Naruto, the boy mouthing something he couldn't quite make out. Choking, panicked giggles fill him up and over.
"Useless."
Starving-jumping-drowning-slashing-hanging-overdose-ratpoison
'Uchiha-san!' Inari's ghost snaps down.
Sasuke bit his palm. Hard enough to swallow a mouthful of copper.
'Uchiha-san calm yourself.'
'Kaiza-kun!' Rin's bell swinging voice scratches the inside of Sasuke's ears like frostbite.
Hysteria clogs his throat.
'Sasuke-san, what is happening? Is Zabuza no longer a threat?'
'Kaiza-kun why're you talking to Obito?'
Fear startles him something fierce. Any moment, Ghosts of Konoha could come knocking on his door. Never leaving him. Not letting him sleep until they could get whatever leftover business they had out of him. The dead spoke too much.
Sasuke's nose fills with charring wood.
He just wants to sleep.
Chakra curled around his hands. Buzzing, heating.
Last time he exorcized ghosts, the Uchiha compound went up in a Blitz - but it made everything silent.
He got them all to shut up.
And the world lights up like napalm.
Kaiza's ragged screams and Rin's laughter screech across his mind like nails.
- ; -
Reality flows sideways and drags Sasuke by the ankles.
Talking, movement. Warm hands pressing and moving him.
Cool metal binds his wrists. Bandages chafing scabbing stitches. He moves along, walking and stumbling at times.
Sasuke turns once to see blue eyes. Naruto stares back. Jaw working for sound.
"You-" His splutters pitch into a shrieking, "Kakashi-sensei!"
Sasuke wants his thoughts to stop. Falling back into the safety of his mind, Sasuke decides to stay put for a while.
It all snaps back into focus.
He pitches sideways and blinks up at Sakura. Matching her own gobsmacked expression with his own. His cheek was stinging, and her arm was raised. Two plus two equals four.
"Did you…slap me?"
"Someone had to," Naruto grouches from somewhere closeby. Sasuke locates him just a step off behind Sakura. Unhappy looking and tossing an armful of twigs into a growing campfire. It was dark out, and they were in a forest. Clearly making camp for the night. "And Sakura-chan has a mean swing."
"Oh, it worked?"
Sasuke finds it hard to mentally map out who the longhaired girl is entering the clearing. Carrying her own share of twigs.
A demure smile lifts her face, and Sasuke had to admit she was a cute kid. What the hell was she doing hanging around team seven?
"Sakura-chan," She says, dumping her load next to Naruto. Bowing politely. "I apologize for questioning you. You truly do know how to slap sense into people."
"Hey now," Sasuke says back to Sakura. Pink dusting her cheeks, she absolutely refused to meet Sasuke. "Not only did you slap me. But it wasn't even Naruto's idea."
"Nothing else was working!" She abruptly screams. If Sasuke were not already lying down, he would have collapsed out of sheer fright. Physically appearing to fight the need to slap him again, she went on to say; "You were clocked out! Kakashi-sensei tried every drug he had on him -"
"Man's got a lot," Naruto adds.
"But you didn't wake up," and now Sakura is sad. Which makes Sasuke uncomfortable. "You. Naruto says you tried to blow yourself up."
"Went full blown psycho."
"Naruto," Sakura chides. Stomping a foot in her whirling fury. Naruto raises his palms, dropping the stack of twigs.
Sasuke's snort has them tense.
"That's actually quite funny," he says. Laugh tasting bitter. "Full blown psycho. Pretty apt-"
"Are you serious?" Naruto rounds past Sakura, "Is he serious right now? Dude. Teme. You're not supposed to find that funny. You tried blowing yourself up. That pretty bridge went kaboom! It's a-a wacky, freaky miracle you're alright," he takes a breath. Visibly doing his darndest from throwing hands. "Kaka-sensei says you're suicidal and - we were hoping…"
"Your teammates were hoping to be proven wrong before either of our sensei's were to return from hunting and interrupt," new girl provides. Tone and smile airbrushed. Placid.
Sasuke retracts calling the girl pretty. Right now she was serving The Ring vibes and Godfrey was officially unnerved.
"I mean," Sasuke rolls into a cross legged position. Rubbing his tender neck. The action brought attention to his soot-powdered arms and legs. White bandages stained as though in ink. "Damn. How didn't I cook?"
Oh no.
Does.
Does the freaky exorcizing thingamajig not hurt him?!
"No fucking clue," Naruto spits. "The bridge and I got sent into damn hell and Kaka-sensei plucks you out of it right as rain. Like I said. Freaky. You're a freak."
"Ugh," his head drops into his hands. Trying to rub away this terrible goddamn luck. "Ugh."
"Oi," Naruto snaps. "You're, like, not actually suicidal right? You just lost your shit, yeah? From all the hostage taking. PTSB -"
"PTSD," Sakura peeps in.
"You got that, yeah? Oi. Answer me teme. Tell us you haven't been trying to kill yourself this entire time."
His silence was damning.
"Sasuke-kun," Sakura gasps.
"I mean," he tries again. Coughing out a laugh. Facing the distraught children and unable to find whatever compassion he may have to muster an appropriate response. "Hey. Who's the girl?"
Appropriately, Naruto rushes him. Screaming bloody murder.
[Hah. He wished.]
Before Naruto is able to knock his lights out and bar him from responding, he is plucked up. Hefted under the arm of Kakashi.
"Aa, we don't attack our suicidal teammates Naruto," Kakashi says, draping a string of dead raven over one shoulder like some would do a scarf.
"We do if they're an idiot," Naruto makes abated attempts at slashing Sasuke out of the air. "How could you want to die?! I knew you were a sad sack of shit but - "
"Naruto," Sakura sighs. "Screaming won't help."
"It won't hurt!"
"I mean -"
"If you're going to start that up again you better finish it," Naruto growls in threat. Mockingly iterating, "'I mean', 'I mean' - what do you mean?! You want to die? What's so great about dying - it sucks!"
"Shush Naruto," Kakashi lightly jostles him on his hip. "Let Sasuke-chan finish lying to us. I would be interested in learning his cover-up techniques."
Oh. Kakashi was practically pulling up Sasuke's skirt and not letting him hide.
Well now.
Out of spite, exhaustion or just plain childishness, Sasuke mimes his lips zipped shut and looks off to some random tree lit by campfire.
Thankfully, Naruto's too offended to continue screaming.
Zabuza drops down beside Kakashi, capturing everyone's tense attention. He too, was holding a ninja wire of dead raven.
"I've never seen so many black birds in my life," Zabuza tosses them in a gruesome arch towards the girl and turns to Sasuke. Succinctly returning his spotlight. "Awake are you, little imp. Was some brutal fire jutsu you pulled back there. Impressive for a genin. How'd you keep it from roasting you?"
He crouches down to lean in interest.
All Sasuke can do is stare at his would-be murderer-turned-savior.
"Aah, yeah. Your little orange teammate convinced me to join Konoha. Obligated not to kill you anymore. Sorry about that."
Sasuke turns to Naruto. The blonde quickly regains his senses.
"Oh. You asshole. I'm so sorry for keeping you alive," Naruto seethes.
Sasuke thrusts his chin out belligerently.
- ; -
"Tea, Sasuke-kun?"
"Yeah. Why not."
The man pours two cups, sinking back in the plush seat. Affable grin shielding the slow twinges of pain behind his eyes.
Unknowingly -
[for them, not Sasuke, who happened to share his apartment with a gossipy shinobi who knew everyone and anyone's business in this hellish village]
-the Yamanaka Clan had the Sight. A sixth sense when it came to Otherworldly beings. A magnifying glass in their eyes capable of detecting supernatural…oddities.
Good for Sasuke, however. Over decades of inbreeding, their power had thinned. Lack of Clan Records, and lack of properly knowing what it was that gave them their clear eyes. Inoichi will simply believe he's come down with a headache.
Not the darkened aura of a dead man posing as a child.
"So," Inoichi says, holding back the ache of needing to rub his temples. "Are you aware of why you are here, Sasuke-kun?"
Sasuke grunts, "I tried blowing myself up." Sipping the tea, he reluctantly finds himself enjoying the tang of warm lemon. "Damn. This is good."
"Thank you, I'll make sure to brew it again in future," says Inoichi. Bless the twink. "The mission report from Uzumaki-san stated you appeared to experience a psychotic break. Coinciding with Momoichi-san's account after changing his mind on killing you. Something you encouraged him to do. He states you sought him out for that exact reason."
"Is there a question?"
"You want to die," Inoichi says gently. "We believed you had recovered from this."
Sasuke nods, doing a job of sympathetic understanding.
Inoichi rubs his eye. Pain thrumming a dull beat behind it.
"You understand that until I deem you safe, you will be exempt from team missions. You will be under supervision of your Guardian, Jonin sensei Hatake Kakashi or one of his ninken."
"So. I don't have to weed gardens anymore?"
Inoichi coughs out a light laugh, "Yes, Sasuke-kun. You won't have to weed gardens for the time being."
- ; -
Sasuke's pathetic attempt at a one-man bonfire put the higher authorities on edge.
Until Yamanaka clears him, Team Seven has one less player in their serial-killer games. Leaving Sasuke in Kakashi's apartment with either Pakkun or some other ninken. Sasuke is close to pretending he was on holiday until the pug spoke up.
"Oi, pup," Pakkun cranes his doughy head up, giving Sasuke a squint from their lax position on the couch. "You wanna go for a walk?"
"Nope."
"Too bad. Your moping is bitchin' my vibe."
The pug has a mouth on him worthy of praise and soap.
He's haggled out the door and into the world. In the long run him being out of Kakashi's place was the better. He was starting to add a concerning amount of doom and gloom the apartment. Spiders were popping up in crevasses more often. He spotted one of Kakashi's ninken yesterday eat a whole family of them in glee.
Pakkun trots by his side, neither indicating or leading a certain direction.
They're nearing a park when he nips his ankle.
"What's the deal?!"
"Start running," is the warning he gets before Pakkun launches himself.
To the dog's great disappointment, Sasuke surprises him by standing still. Wincing when the dog latches on. The bite is gentle, nothing more than a prick.
"Pup," Pakkun says once he retracts. Sounding disturbed. "You've got issues."
"Says the one trying to motivate me to exercise with violence. Pot, kettle - Hey. Tell you what. I'll accept your apology, if you let me stop by my apartment."
Pakkun blinks up at him. Somehow managing to convey in dog language that he wasn't buying what he was selling.
"I wasn't going to apologize."
"Please?" Sasuke asks.
"Whaddya need to pick up? You can get Kakashi to do it."
"Come on, Pakkun. I just want to check in. Water some plants, feed the cat."
"You don't have a cat, or a plant. And if you did they'd be dead," the pug narrows their beady, wrinkly eyes. "You ain't planning on ferrying back a stash of liquor, are ya?"
Whatever the pug thought he was planning, the dog needed to lower its expectations on the Sasuke Atrocity Scale.
He merely wants to see whether Kenji could spot any sign of Rin. Sasuke was ninety-nine percent certain sent the ghost packing to heaven for good, but by Lord did that ghost girl give him the willies. He needs a separate pair of eyes, and Kenji knew of Rin. Maybe the ghost girl was cooling her heels in some creepy abandoned hide-y hole, spooked from the fire.
If she was, Kenji would find her. He knew the Uzumaki Lady who knew Rin.
Not once has Sasuke doubted that fire - his special brand of fire that didn't hurt him - was able to exorcize ghosts. But. There's always that sneaky one percentile. If it didn't work then Sasuke was in trouble.
Rin knew of his ability to see her. He can't allow that to get out.
That ghost was a chatty Katty.
"No, Pakkun," Sasuke exhales slowly. Viable excuse already pre-planned. "I want to pick up some clothes."
"Get Kakashi to do it. Heck. He'll buy you more, you're already outgrowing the old sets."
"I want to get my brother's jumper, Pakkun."
The dog stares at him for a second. "The brother that slaughtered your entire Clan. Tortured you with a genjutsu. Left you comatose for a week hooked up to a breathing tube. The brother that's currently running free, possibly killing babies and drowning puppies. That brother."
"The very one. Don't have any other relatives," Sasuke says cheerfully. "I'd appreciate retrieving his jumper by myself, all the same to you. Don't want sensei messing with his stuff."
"Pup. Sasuke," Pakkun trots closer, resting a paw on his foot. "You do get how messed up this sounds, right?"
"That I'm attached to Aniki's clothing?" Godfrey couldn't make heads or tails of it either. He held Itachi in a conflicting gray area. On one hand he hates that he killed their family. On the other he's pissed he didn't include him on the To Do list. "Pish tosh."
"Pish tosh," Pakkun echoes the English in a woeful, disjointed tone. Sasuke's hoping the dog will be so messed up hearing how messed up he is, that he won't notice Sasuke leading them to his apartment.
Which is exactly what he was doing. Right this second.
Pakkun, that dastardly pug, notices. Tiny paws catching up to Sasuke's quickening pace.
- ; -
Sasuke's apartment has sunshine peeking through and something he notices immediately. Almost supernaturally, there would be consistent cloud coverage at the just right angle to keep the sun out of his apartment.
It is one of the many changes he takes notice of. Such as the continual decrease of mold in the corners and ceiling. He sniffs the air. No damp stench.
Why, Sasuke hasn't seen his apartment feel so inviting since he had first moved in.
"This place has been giving me the heebie jeebies, man," Kenji bemoans. Slipping up into the room from the floorboards. "My cold spots are dwindling."
Once again, Sasuke is disturbed to find relief seeing his…companion? Crony?
"Well, go get it then," Pakkun plants his bum near the doorway. Critically observing the lack of memorabilia displayed. "Hah. This place is sadder than Kakashi's was as a teenager."
Snorting at how that didn't surprise him whatsoever, Sasuke makes his way to his bedroom and lightly kicks the door ajar. Kenji following.
Pretending to rummage about in his drawers, he eyes the silent ghost weirdly.
"Soo," Kenji says in a pious tone, "I heard you tried to blow yourself up."
"Hn."
"Maybe you should try not dying. See how that works out for you."
"I didn't come here to get life advice from a dead guy," Sasuke hisses, voice barely above a squeak. "Have you seen or heard of Rin since I got back?"
"No, actually." Kenji says, and squints. "...oh. You didn't."
"Fun fact, my fire thing doesn't hurt me." Sasuke viciously yanks Itachi's jumper out from under old clothes and tosses it across a shoulder, sighing. "Some stuff happened and Rin found out I could see her."
"So you blew her up. And the bridge you were on, too. Bit overkill dontcha think?"
"She'll get over it. Is she really not here?"
"Haven't caught wind or tinkle of her," Kenji nods. "I'll ask Uzumaki just in case."
"Thanks," Sasuke says and gives the ghost a good once over. "You're being helpful."
"I don't much like the idea of random Konoha ghosts polluting my home."
"Ah," that made sense.