JENNIE

Kai was hopping on crutches in the apartment when I opened the door. His face was filled with concentration, and his brows were furrowed together. When he saw me, his face lit up, and he stopped in the middle of the room.

"Are you allowed to do that?" I laughed.

"Ivan said I need to train."

"And how is it?"

"Difficult, but I can do it, and I can finally get out of the bed by myself," he said. "I hope you don't mind, but I invited Alex and Christina over this Saturday."

"No, it's okay, I haven't seen them in a while anyway," I replied.

Christina had given birth to a baby boy, and I saw them only a handful of times. They were not yet sleep deprived and over the moon.

"Will they bring the baby?" I asked.

"No, Denis will stay with a nanny," Mark said, looking closely at me.

I turned away, retrieving my phone from the bag. No new notifications.

I went to the bathroom to change into my home clothes—comfy pants and Kai's old t-shirt. I looked at it and realized that it would hurt Lisa if she knew. I didn't even try, right? I took off the shirt and fished my old one from the closet.

I checked the phone again, still seeing no reply. Tiredness was sweeping over me as I shuffled into the kitchen. Kai was sitting on the windowsill, and his crutches stood by the wall.

"Come here," he said.

I stiffened but stepped closer. He took my hand in his gently, his familiar rough skin wrapping around mine. Kai gestured for me to sit, and I perched on the pillow beside him, my heart beating faster.

"Jennie," he said, peering into my eyes. "I wanted to say thank you for being with me during all these weeks. You were always here, always supportive of me."

At what cost? I thought bitterly.

"Sure, it's okay. You were in that accident partially because of me."

He was moving his finger, caressing the inside of my palm, and after these words his finger stopped midway.

"Why do you say that?" he asked.

"If I hadn't left, you wouldn't have been preparing a welcome party for me, and if you hadn't gone to that store to buy those ridiculous balloons, everything would be okay."

"Oh my God, Jennie, it's not your fault! It could have happened anywhere and at any time. Look at me," he ordered. "It was just a stupid accident. Those first days in the hospital, I blamed myself over and over. There was a voice saying what if, and it thundered in my head. Then I realized where I was and that nothing in the past could be changed. I gradually stopped blaming myself." He squeezed my hand gently. "And now it appears you were thinking it was your fault all this time! I am almost fine now. Give me a few weeks and I'll be running," he chuckled.

"But what if—"

"No what ifs, Jennie." He pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me. His finger stayed there, drawing the line of my lower lip. "There is nothing good about dwelling on the past. And it's neither my nor your fault."

I looked down, my eyes stinging. Kai put his hands around me, my head leaning on his broad chest.

He rocked me. "Thank you for always being here for me."

The word always echoed in me, in Lisa's voice. I had abandoned her, and now those treacherous tears rolled down my cheeks. Kai's hands moved to hold me tighter.