Kazumi was always aware that things wouldn't end well for her. Despite her best efforts, her life didn't always go as planned.
But even so, she wanted to believe that this life would be different.
She was different.
But being different didn't help her.
She wanted to be normal.
Alas, once you get a taste of power, your need for it surpasses hunger. It is like an addiction - once you become accustomed to it, it is nearly impossible to break away and return to the way things were before.
Kazumi would never be normal.
The dreams were her first warning.
The creature forming around her father was the last.
It's been two weeks since her father last left the house. He has locked himself in his room and barely comes out of it.
The vivid memory of that day still lingers with her, the dour expression on his face when he stumbled into the house looking dejected and defeated as he slumped on the floor. Her mother rushed over to him, concern etched on her features, trying to get him to talk but he stared off into space, unresponsive.
The memory still haunts her, a reminder of the fragility of life and the power of emotion.
She knew her parents had a flair for the dramatics, usually after coming back from work he would express elaborately how much he missed his wife and daughter, 'honey! gimme a kiss, I need a serotonin boost!' and her mother would maturely throw her slippers at him and tell him to 'shut it! not in front of the child!' Then he proceeds to sulk in the corner mumbling a soft 'so mean' until she takes pity on him and embraces him, placing a kiss on his cheek anyway. They proceed to get even more lovey-dovey until a certain third wheel has to remind them that there's food on the stove that'd soon start burning.
So she doesn't understand why things have suddenly taken a turn for the worse. He's starting to avoid her too. His unusual behavior has caused Kazumi to be on edge, and she worries about what will happen next.
Her mother assured her that he was fine, that 'he's just caught a cold, he doesn't want you to catch it too, sweetie' but she hears hushed voices arguing behind closed doors when they think she is sleeping. She tried listening in on their conversations but after overhearing that one wretched sentence laced with such undiluted self-hatred, as her father sobbed, she stopped that altogether. She respected her father too much to betray his trust like this.
"Not only have I failed as a husband, but I have also failed as a father."
She loathes the fact that there is nothing she can do to help them.
The dining table, which used to be full of laughter and joy, has never been more silent and suffocating.
"Are you sure you don't want anything else? There are some chocolate chip pancakes in the oven, I'll heat those up!" Kazumi shakes her head, smiling gratefully at her mother. She watches silently as her mother walks across the kitchen floor to retrieve the promised plate.
A month has passed since that incident. Things have calmed down a bit but Kazumi still feels like she's walking on eggshells around her own house.
"Morning," comes a gravelly voice. She looks up to see her father and oh isn't that a depressing sight. The once boisterous, optimistic, and kind man, reduced to this shadow of his former self. Gone are the smile lines around the corners of his eyes, the shine in them that glistened with mischief, all that's left are dark circles and frown lines adorning his face. From the corner of her eyes, she sees her mother watching their interaction like a hawk.
"Good morning, Papa!" Kazumi greets him in the most cheerful voice she can manage. He tries to smile in return, but it looks more like a grimace. She doesn't let it show on her face instead she smiles wide enough for both of them. He moves toward the table to take his seat and all the color drains from her face. She was so focused on trying to gauge his expressions, she didn't even pay attention to the rest of him.
There around her father's limbs and neck wrapped like a snake, sits that damned creature.
When did this happen? How did she not notice? When did this thing attach itself to Papa? But then again how did it come into existence? How was it born? Why him? WhyWhywhywhywhywhywhy- no she's just imagining it, yes that's it! It is all just a figment of her imagination- but the man at the restaurant and that woman–
Right. That woman. The energy she used. And that thing vanished.
Kazumi just needs to find a way to get rid of this one.
"Colors are one of the most fascinating and beautiful features of nature. No single object in this world does not have its own distinctive color," Jiro-sensei reads out. "From the vibrant shades of a rainbow to the dark hues of the night sky, colors have the power to change how we feel and how we perceive our surroundings."
The teacher explains how colors affect our daily life and their importance. While Kazumi is listening to him, her eyes stray to the far corner of the classroom. There, a lonely girl sits, her bangs covering half of her face. Kazumi's hands itch with a need to brush them away from her face and look at it. She is quite pretty with freckles adorning her rosy cheeks and a pair of brown eyes. Probably one of the main reasons why the kids bully her. The girls, young as they are, already feel threatened by her. Therefore, they force their insecurities on her. The fact that she makes it so easy for them by having no backbone doesn't help either.
The girl's –Himari, she believes is her name– shoulders tense as if she's lying in wait for someone to berate her. She must've sensed Kazumi's gaze, but is too scared to look up and do something about it. Kazumi pities her but not enough to go out of her way to help her. Her peers hate her enough as it is, no need to draw attention to herself. Though nobody could do anything to her if she tried to help the girl, Himari would grow dependent on others to help her. She would never learn to stand up for herself. This problem she'd have to deal with on her own and learn her lesson. But this other problem, sitting on the girl's head, is not something Himari can deal with.
This creature is a bit different. It's smaller in size and its limbs have yet to grow. It curls around the girl's head, and with its lone eye, the creature stares at Kazumi and grins.
She hastily looked away. Her father, the man at the restaurant, and this girl all have one thing in common; the same dreadful expression on their faces, as though they have been living in doubt and suffering all their lives and they fear they'll never be free from it.
These creatures… are they a physical representation of one's psyche?
So, negative emotions must be for them what food is for humans.
Now that she has found the cause, all that is left is to find a cure. First, she'll start with this girl.
"...colors are soothing in general…"
And with that her attention shifts to the teacher. He smiles gently, yet his eyes are anything but. The expression itself is kind but there's a coldness about it that doesn't fit well on such a soft-looking face. He knows that his efforts to spark their interest might not be enough, but he is determined to ensure that at least some of the lessons get through - no matter how much of an uphill battle it may be.
She wonders whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of impressionable adolescents in an underfunded institution run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago. The result was a devastating cycle of anger, frustration, and despair, with no escape in sight.
She looks at the blackboard and scribbles down some notes about light frequencies and colors. It takes her only moments to write a simple summary of all of the notes she has taken during class.
As soon as class is over, Kazumi walks out of the class, ignoring the glances coming her way. She follows Himari who seems to be walking to her locker, there is a group of three kids standing there but as soon as they see Kazumi they run with their tails tucked between their legs. It was no surprise to her as the kids at school had long since learned their lesson to not mess with her, though Himari looked pretty shocked. It must be a rare sight for her.
While the girl recovers from her shocked state, Kazumi muses. The woman at the restaurant had used a technique she was not familiar with but ultimately it was this energy she had manipulated, there is a possibility that even if Kazumi used this energy in its rawest form it might bear the same result. She focuses on circling the energy through her body and summoning it in her palms like she's been doing every day. She walks toward the girl and places her hand simmering with the energy on Himari's shoulder. Immediately there is a reaction.
Himari flinches but Kazumi's gaze is fixed on the creature as it hisses and slowly fades out of existence.
It worked!
"E-excuse me? Do you have s-something to say?" The question startles Kazumi.
"Uh yeah," she searches for something to say instead of letting the awkward silence fester. "It's pathetic the way you let those kids walk all over you. Learn to stand up for yourself, no one is going to do it for you."
Having said that, she walks away. A sense of hope fills her heart, and she holds onto it, believing that all will be well.
Kazumi enters the house, calling out 'I'm home.' strangely no one replied, though she had gotten used to the silence these past few weeks, it was still weird. She walked further into the hallway and nothing could have prepared her for what she saw there.
Why did she ever think she could lead a normal life?
Kazumi stares at the scene before her. There is a pool of blood surrounding her mother's body, her limbs twisted at odd angles that were unnatural to her. A few bones protruded from her neck, as if it had been twisted repeatedly. She's not breathing, why is she not breathing!?
Why did she ever believe she was lucky in this life?
A ninja never relies on luck; it has never been on their side.
A chill runs down her spine. A sense of emptiness and desolation fills her entire being as she struggles to catch her breath. Her eyes are burning, with stray tears streaming down her cheeks. It's like she's been plunged into icy water, the cold all-consuming, her movements slowed and her senses dulled, every inch of her body filled with a numbing ache. It feels like she's going to pass out and she falls to her knees. She knows something must be done but she just looks away from it, unable to bear the sight.
However, that was a mistake, because her gaze fell upon that monster chewing on her father's arm gleefully. She had been empty and desolate before, but now with her heart aflame, she is driven by fury unlike anything she has ever experienced, to destroy this monster, And yet she did not move an inch, she held her breath, afraid that if she moved she would lose sight of the monster.
No matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise, the scene in front of her remained the same regardless. Fresh tears rolled down her face, and she doesn't bother erasing them. The pain would only come back as a cruel reminder of reality.
She stays rooted to her spot by the hallway, not daring to move for what would be the point?
…they're dead.
She should've known there was a reason why these creatures- no, these monsters were exterminated.
How hard it must have been for them to fight against something they couldn't see, the horrible realization that this will be their end.
They were mine,
mine to love,
mine to protect,
minemineminemine
THEY WERE MY PARENTS!
How dare this thing take away what's hers?
When the monster takes another bite out of her father, Kazumi lashes out.
(The world becomes clear once again.)
Her hand weaves through hand seals with such ease as if she has practiced it way too many times.
"Katon; Gokakyu no Jutsu."
The house is on fire.
The fireball jutsu is not supposed to be this destructive, I was only aiming for that monster. She brought her hand to her lips and hissed. It burned my mouth too, even in her first attempt back then, it didn't happen even once.
'Is it because of this energy?' Now that she fully remembers she can feel her chakra swirling inside her, but it's only the spiritual part that's there, the physical part is mixed with such malicious and hostile energy, it's disgusting but oddly enough matches well with her state of mind.
Looking down at the ground, she finds a few mirror shards, Picking up one of the shards from the ground, She looks at her eyes in the mirror, looks at the redness in them and the three tomoe spinning lazily, 'a matured Sharingan,' she thinks. Of course, she has it. Kazumi chuckles wryly, 'it has always been more than just a bloodline limit, a connection to the soul, inescapable even in a new life.'
Destiny had played her like a fool.
A second chance? Why give her hope of another chance, only for it to be taken away? She was foolish to think a second chance was even possible, yet hope drove her to believe in it and made her vulnerable to eventual disappointment.
She had condemned her family to this fate in this life and in her last. But at least she had died with them back then.
No… this wasn't a second chance.
This is her punishment.
This is her punishment for being given another chance and failing to protect it.
Now she must live with the guilt.
She stood alone, a single figure amidst the flames and smoke, broken and empty inside, yet determined to find a purpose in the wake of the tragedy.
Wiping her tears, Kazumi turns around and walks away as her home burns to ashes. Her parents had died there and with them, their daughter too had died.
"It's time I wake up to reality."