Chapter 16
AN: Hello my awesome readers! First, thank you for the kind reviews, they make my day brighter! Anyways, drum roll please for the results…
We have TWO winners! Both the time travel with Sai and the mini Kakashi won. So…I'm going to combine them! Naruto and Sai will time travel to when they were five, yata yata, and I'll have Naruto become Kakashi's mini me lol. It should be interesting, I will begin writing it soon, as I do want it to start before November.
Finally, a really informed reader pointed out that Shisui shouldn't be able to use the Susanoo because he only had one Sharingan. I didn't know this, so in this Naruto world, Susanoo is possible for only one Sharingan, but I'll have it where it ends up using more chakra or something.
Oh, before I forget, don't forget to check out KingsofSarutobi 'Orphan' as it is a really great story!
With Naruto and Jiraiya…
"Gaki! I said make the earth a swamp, not a sand pit!" Jiraiya scolded as Naruto attempted 'Swamp of the Underworld' for the sixteenth time with minimal success.
"Gah, I can't! It's impossible when you harden the earth with your chakra while I'm softening it with mine!" Naruto accused.
"Eh, call it training for all situations. If you can learn to overpower my chakra and create the swamp the jutsu will be unstoppable." Jiraiya smirked at the blonde's scowl but had to dodge several water jutsu, including a well executed water dragon. "What the hell gaki! Are you trying to kill me?!" the sage demanded, pulling a kunai that was hidden in the dragon out of his scroll.
"Who me? I was just showing my mentor how much I've improved on my water ninjutsu" Naruto replied innocently, two scrolls that held water empty.
"Sure, gaki, sure. I think we've done enough. I think it's time for a spar for me to 'see your progress' then." He said evily. Naruto gulped in reply.
Evening…
Akira and Angel were both on Naruto's shoulders, who was wearing his chunin outfit. He sighed as Akira vibrated with excitement.
"Just…don't blow anything up or set something on fire, please?" Naruto begged while rubbing a sore shoulder from Jiraiya's toad slamming him into the ground multiple times. While Jiraiya 'taught' him that day, he had a shadow clone show the panther the art of activating explosive tags. Needless to say Akira became obsessed with the explosions and the look she got around them was creepily similar to a certain nuke-nin currently in the ANBU holding cells.
"Humph. Fine, but I get to play, right?" She asked. Naruto nodded.
"Yes, you are allowed your own hand. Here's some money- if you run out I'm not giving you any more." She took the small bag of rolled ryo and coins in her teeth and purred.
Most of the off duty ANBU and more respectable jonin were already in the poker room when the trio arrived. Dragon inclined his head and a blur of fingers sent the message.
'Rematch. I want Icha Icha. I know Jiraiya gave you a collection signed.'
'And I want Hikaru gone. He clogged the toilet. With water' Naruto signed back. Numerous ANBU sniggered as they caught the exchange.
'Winner take all. You're going down, Mouse.' Naruto found some free seats, Akira taking one to the left, opposite of the newly arrived Ibiki Morino. The man looked extremely calm even as the small panther gave a feral grin and dumped her money out, calling to exchange for chips.
'We'll see.' Dragon finished. Hikaru walked in at that moment and plopped down next to Naruto, oblivious about the exchange.
"Hey, Naruto…" Hikaru started with a chuckle. Naruto's eyes snapped to his friend.
"Yes, Hikaru? You almost never use my name."
"Heh, well you see…Isortofsetyoursparescrollsonfirewhilecookingdinner" Hikaru finished in a rush. The room went silent as the ANBU knew the consequences of messing with their youngest member's fuinjutsu supplies. A few seconds passed and Angel jumped off to go bug the reading Kakashi, who would bat her away, while she just kept returning.
"Sempai…" Naruto trailed off as the newbies Kotetsu and Izumo talked about arrived looking nervous. Suddenly a gleam in his eyes that scared Hikaru more than if Naruto just yelled appeared and Naruto gave a wicked chuckle. "I think I'm going to make a killing tonight. Hey! Come sit over here!" Naruto called to the new comers and those that were sitting across from Naruto moved, eager to see the newbies get cleaned out like they had been once. Petty revenge was good for a stressed out ninja, after all.
"Hey, I thought you failed and left the academy?" A short, brunette chunin said as she sat down. Her comrades nodded and Naruto bashful shook his head.
"No, I passed, but I got stuck with a desk job at the tower" he lied and the chunin gave sympathetic winces. They were of the younger generation that didn't really care about the kyubi, and even if they did no one deserved such a fate. "But tonight I got told to join in with the poker game, what about you guys?"
"Same here, I'm Tamaki, these three numbskulls are Idate, Hiroshi, and Gen. None of us are that great at poker, what about you?" The older ninja kept blank looks, but had to bite their cheeks when Naruto hung his head.
"I barely know the rules, and I only have this much with me" he held out the payment worth of a D-rank. The other chunin gave him sympathetic looks.
"Hey, don't sweat it! We'll play against each other tonight. Maybe you'll even win something too" Idate assured him while his friends hid eye rolls, believing the blonde would be out within a round or two. Naruto gave a teary eyed nod.
"That sounds fun! What's first?" Hikaru started dealing, not being allowed to play poker as he had no ryo on him.
"Well, first off is to get some chips. Then you" Idate's careful instructions continued on, Naruto playing the part perfectly. Many in the room had one thought 'Never underestimate that bastard again.'
Meanwhile, Akira was lighting a cigar, facing her opponent.
"My my, not many ninjas wear trench coats" she commented as they were dealt in. Ibiki grunted.
"And not many felines smoke cigars…or play poker" he shot back dryly.
"Touche." She relented, and glanced up over Ibiki's shoulder, out the window. The top interrogator never noticed the instantaneous exchange.
One hour later…
"Wow, that was fun!" Naruto cheered innocently, while the chunin twitched, Idate crying in frustration. In front of Naruto was the other chunins' chips, enough to not only replace Hikaru's accident, but still equivlant of an S-rank.
"H-how?" Tamaki asked as she gaped at the pile. Naruto eye smiled, a trick he picked up from Kakashi.
"Oh? Who, me? I guess I'm just lucky, and Idate-sempai taught me really well. Thanks for the game, I can't wait to play again!" As the chunin excused themselves, whispering how they'd have to bunk with one another for a couple of months, they swore to never bet against him again.
"Enough games, Mouse. Wolf. Deal me in." Dragon ordered as he slid into the chair opposite of Naruto.
Meanwhile…
Ibiki had never been so embarrassed in his life. He, a respected A-rank ninja, head interrogator, was loosing to a tiny cat. A talking, cigar smoking cat, but still, a cat.
Worse, Anko was watching with a video camera in the corner. Thankfully, Ibiki Morino knew the mind, and could tell the feline was arrogant.
"All in?" He asked with a blank face. "Winner take all, kitty cat?"
Akira paused for a split second, then felt the okay from her collar she wore for the occasion.
"One, I'm a panther, not a kitty. And two, hell yeah!" She pushed all her pile- and most of Ibiki's savings, he wept inside- to the middle. Perfect he thought with a hidden grin. He had a straight flush, and the odds of the cat getting something higher this late in the game was almost impossible.
"Heh…straight flush." Ibiki boasted and slapped his hand down. Akira looked momentarily saddened, then showed Ibiki her hand one by one.
"Oh, I think I can match that…or surpass it. Royal flush, Ibiki-chan!" She taunted, then turned towards the dealer. "You, turn this back to ryo and seal it in a scroll for me, kay? I have more fish to fry" and she hopped off to find her next victim close by with just a few of the chips in her bag. Soon the summons is in front of the Hokage, who smiled benignly.
"Why hello, Akira-chan. I see you made some money off of Ibiki."
"Yes, monkey summoner, now deal me in. I will prove the Tiger-panther clan can beat the monkey clan at anything!" She said with conviction. Within moments the game began again.
Hisoka was crouched on the roof nearby, binoculars perched on the ledge and looking down at the Hokage's cards. What the hell am I doing? I could be in the milky paradise with beautiful tigresses all around but nooo, Akira wants me to cheat for her. How did I end up here? The silent tiger bemoaned inside his mind. Then a shiver ran up his spine as he remembered the exact motivation for being on a stuffy rooftop late at night.
His partner could use explosive tags. As Hisoka activated the mores code linked to Akira's collar to let her know the Hokage drew an ace, he resigned himself to the reality that his peaceful existence was over the second his summoner had taught Akira how to use the explosives.
After the Poker game…
Naruto carried a sleeping Angel home, Akira already having left for home with her winnings. Hikaru walked next to him, huffing.
"I can't believe you played to make me leave, chibi-kohai! I thought our relationship was special." Naruto shot him a dead pan look.
"You bring destruction where ever you go, Hikaru. Not even Anko would put up with you and her place resembles the fourth shinobi war. Besides, I'm not making you go until tomorrow. Dragon-sama should have the cell ready by then" he muttered the last part too low for the Hyuga to hear.
"Humph, see if I let you stay with me when your apartment gets infested. Ungrateful children" Hikaru grumbled. Naruto chose not to point out that his traps and Angel prevented pests and that even if he did have to leave his home for a time, the dorms at HQ actually allowed him. As they approached their building Naruto turned.
"If you weren't my best friend I'd sic Habiki-sama's unit on you. Touch my fuinjutsu again and no mercy will be shown. Understood?"
"…Crystal" Hikaru managed. Naruto's summons were now legendary after the spar with Kakashi, and he had no desire to fight them.
Entering his place, Naruto brightens as a familiar whiskered face presses against the window.
"Tora! You haven't been by in a while. Have the genin teams been getting rough?" Naruto greeted as he let her in, Angel blearily shaking awake from the commotion. The hell cat sees her nemesis and hisses.
"Why does she have to be here?!" Angel asked incredulously. Naruto rolled his eyes.
"Angel, we've been over this; I've been watching Tora for years and she's taught you a lot too, be grateful." Tora ignores the hissing and smugly presses up against Naruto's leg, who promptly scratches behind her ears.
"I still don't understand how you and that…demon get along, chibi-kohai. Tora's the bane of every genin, and to find out you taught her your stealth skills and how to tree/water walk?!" Hikaru pointed an accusing finger at the blonde.
"Whatever, sempai. Just go to sleep. Guy-sensei has a mission tomorrow so we can sleep in."
"Not exactly" a disembodied voice spoke from the darkness and both humans and cats jump, before scowling as Dragon appears. "Both of you report to HQ tomorrow at eight. I'll have missions for you both. Oh, and Mouse?" He holds out his hand expectantly.
"Nope! Not until you beat me, Dragon-sama"
"Would you like me to beat you around the village all night?" He asked in a bored tone. A scroll is thrust into his hands faster than a shunshin.
"I was just joking! Here, here, the entire collection that Jiraiya-sama gave me last week! All thirty something volumes." Dragon nodded before leaving, in a burst of chakra, his two subordinates letting out breaths they didn't know they were holding.
Moments later, Hokage tower…
Sarutobi was finishing up some last minute paperwork, grumbling about 'that blasted summons' trouncing him at poker even with his hidden monkey summons reading off the cards. Dragon shows up without warning and flops down in the chair, watching his leader in amusement.
"What is it now, Dragon? Here to gloat about that fiend taking my savings?"
"Nah, I would never think that. Not after Mouse continues to clean me out. I swear he passes his luck onto those around him except me! Tonight I lost my food money! I'm sending Mouse on a long term assignment tomorrow. His fridge is always stocked." Dragon said. Sarutobi sweat dropped at his commander's complete honesty about stealing from his subordinates.
"I see…then what is it? Out of underlings to frighten? I hear the chunin patrols were slacking, you could amuse yourself with them." Sarutobi suggested.
"I hear Deidara has been approved for the 'missing ninja intergration program'" Dragon said after a moment, referencing Konoha's policy of allowing certain missing ninja into the village and attempt to become loyal Konoha ninja. Generally they would start taking D-ranks without chakra with a jonin escort. However, Dragon was never one for tradition.
"…Yes, I was planning on having Asuma and his team be his watchers before testing him for chunin in six months. He'd fit well among the trackers with his birds."
"I want him." Dragon said bluntly.
"Absolutely not."
"The boy would be a good fit for the ANBU" Dragon continued on without hesitance. "He's a genius, much like Itachi and to a lesser extent Mouse, was a captain in Iwa's explosion corps, and he'd be both watched by men and hidden behind the masks to keep Iwa unaware for months at least."
"NO!" Sarutobi interjected forcefully.
"Why not?"
"Y-you already have one overpowered blonde in your ranks, learn to share" the aged Hokage managed after sputtering.
"Another thing! He'd be a great help for Mouse when they fight Shukaku and Deidara already respects Mouse after he beat him."
"He screams 'Art is an explosion' and hates subtle tactics. Not ANBU material, Dragon" Sarutobi pointed out, only to be waved dismissivly.
"Pssh, that's what you said about Wolf and look at him now; captain level if needed, within the top five in both taijutsu and ninjutsu in ANBU, and his medical jutsu are coming along as well."
"That may be but he's…" Sarutobi struggled to find the words. "Like Hashirama-sama in too many ways, mixed with a touch of the old Naruto and a disturbing amount of…Hikaru-ness for my liking." He finished lamely.
"Bah, Wolf is a…special case, but he's professional on missions."
"True but"
"And if I can beat Wolf into submission, I can certainly do the same for Mouses' long lost brother from another mother." Sarutobi face palmed.
"I'm not going to win this, am I?" He asked. A shake of the head was his answer. "Sigh, fine. Just, what are you going to have him do on his probation and what mask is the poor boy going to have?"
"Well mostly he'll be on hospital duty with Wolf and I'll have them do plenty of endurance training, as like Itachi Deidara doesn't have as much physical strength. I hope to make him loyal to Konoha quickly, as he already seems to hate Iwa for their stifling expectations of him and his past. Without that public pressure to take the king of desk jobs- oh, excuse me, Kage-ship" Dragon amended at Sarutobi's glare "then he will come to see Konoha as a better alternative. With his information that he's freely given, our spies could feasibly take Iwa out, or at least get a better reading on them. And as for his mask…" Dragon reached into his cloak and pulled out a porcelain face mask that had Sarutobi stifling a laugh.
"I'm not sure embarrassment is the best way to keep him loyal"
"Hn, what are you talking about?! It's a great mask- I designed it myself" Dragon huffed as he slipped it back. Sarutobi shook his head.
"If you say so." Dragon clapped his hands and headed towards the window. "Where are you going now?"
"Some lazy chunin are calling my name." Dragon replied dismissively, jumping away leaving a chuckling Hokage behind.
Next morning…
Hikaru and Naruto were stiff as boards, watching their commander from behind masks as the enigma that was Dragon stared at them, clearly enjoying their discomfort.
"Mouse, Wolf." Dragon's voice was soft, but held authority. "I have separate missions for you, though both important, and both long-term. First, Mouse." Naruto catches a scroll aimed at his head and pumps chakra into the ends, opening it. Scanning the contents his head whips up. "Yes, it's a solo mission, and yes it's a simple one. Wave has finished the treaty it wants to have with Konoha. You are to escort their diplomat back with Konoha's response. The elders want a five percent increase on mission prices though, so don't leave until you get them to agree. Use those political lessons for once" Naruto bit back a grumble.
"Yes, Dragon-sama, though what's this profile in the back?"
"Oh that? That's just one of the old tyrant Gato's accountants. He's 'inherited' Gato's eastern fortune and businesses, including the twelve side businesses in Fire. Kill him, impersonate him, sign the deeds over to the Konoha contact in the scroll, and then make his death seem natural- I mean, he is sixty and old people die all the time- before heading back. I would assign another ANBU to this, but sending just you saves money and your transformation prowess will be useful as he is said to employ some ninjas. Though technically no time limit, be back within thirty two days for the chunin exams! Now, shoo." He waves Naruto away, who gapes a bit before complying.
"Sempai, same deal, okay? Angel's coming with me though but the food in the fridge is yours" Naruto says as he walks out, not noticing Dragon's slight stiffening. Once the blonde is gone Dragon turns towards his other subordinate.
"One, stay away from Mouses' apartment, I'll…watch it. Second, what do you know about the prisoner Mouse brought in?"
"That it's some crazy Iwa teenager"
"I'M NOT CRAZY, UN! Art is an EXPLOSION!" Deidara yells, entering the doorway with two irate ANBU members.
"Er, yes…Wolf, meet your new roommate!"
End! Not as long as I would want it but I didn't want to stop in the middle of the mission! I always liked Wave and felt like it isn't given any love after the cannon mission, but I wondered why Konoha wouldn't want their ninjas to grab Gato's company. So, here it is! The reason why they're doing it will be explained the next chapter, and Deidara's settling in will have some showtime. Additionally, I have the Iwa/Kumo situation written out a bit more, I just didn't want to try and fit it in right now, so next time! Thanks to silverwolf310 for your continuous chatting with me about the story!
Finally, I hope you guys enjoyed the bit of light heartedness, it won't be quite so joking for a bit.