The Dress

"No, sweetheart. That dress will make your hips stick out," Lila said in a business-like tone. Raina backed away from the dress immediately. She trusted her mother's eye for these things, but she was starting to feel a little desperate. This was the fourth wedding dress shop the two had been to today. And while London was full of wedding dress shops, she was starting to get tired of the search. Her mother, sensing her restlessness, suggested lunch and the two made their way out to one of the many cafes along the street.

"So… How are things going with you and Tyr?" The older woman asked delicately. Raina flushed prettily at the question, ducking into a random shop. She started reading the menu on the wall. It was the start of the lunch rush though, and she could sense the impatience of the people behind her.

"Please, go ahead. I'm not ready to order yet." The gentleman that she was addressing immediately stepped around her to place his order, but his companion stared at her, deep in thought.

"Blimey, you're Lorraine Rutherford, ain'tcha? That actress everyone's been talking about!" The woman's voice was obnoxiously loud in the little café, grabbing everyone's attention. Raina rubbed her hand on the back of her neck in embarrassment.

"Well, yeah. You caught me. But I'm hungry and I'm trying to read the menu, so…"

"Damn the menu! I want an autograph," the woman said happily, riffling through her purse for a scrap of paper. Suddenly people were clamoring for the same honor, pushing receipts and pens at her to sign. Raina obliged, in a daze from all the attention. After about ten minutes of blind signing and chatting with random strangers, her stomach gave an embarrassingly loud roar. That got the crowd laughing and Lila was finally able to break through to her daughter.

"Does anyone have any recommendations? I've never been here before and I haven't eaten since room service early this morning." Again, the Londoners took up the challenge, yelling out menu items at random until Raina couldn't hear herself think. "Okay, okay," she yelled over the crowd. "Thank you for your suggestions. I just want to take a look at the menu for myself." With that, the crowd started to disperse at last. She started quietly discussing menu options with her mom off to the side, her stomach rumbling in complaint. Finally, the two settled on something simple. Lila got a Reuben and broccoli and cheese soup with lemonade, while her daughter went for a vegetarian pizza and a Coke. Raina pulled out a card to pay for their meals and the barista stopped her.

"It's on the house, love. That still shot of Sunshine that you signed for us more than makes up for the food and all." The girl blushed as she collected their meals.

"Well, thank you. Thank you very much!" She and her mother went to find a seat outside of the café to enjoy their meal.

"You never answered my question, honey," Lila smiled as she took a bite of her sandwich. She was enjoying the flustered look on her daughter's face. Especially when she was recognized.

"Things are… Things are going well, I think," she said nervously, signing autographs for a couple of teenagers who had asked for it. "Tyr is… well, amazing, and so understanding." The teens giggled their thanks and rushed away from the table. She leaned forward to share confidence. "Mama, he's a beast in bed! I never knew it could be like that. But I sometimes worry that I'm not going to be able to keep his attention or interest. I'm so… so…"

"You have that man's heart, Raina," Lila whispered back. "You never have to worry about him straying or finding somebody new. He loves you. As for the rest of it…" Another fan interrupted their heart to heart. "We'll talk more about it once we get back to the hotel." They finished their food between autographs and selfies. Raina left a Google review of their meal and they were off. The two wandered the streets of London, window shopping and talking about the different types of dresses that they had seen so far. Of course, being a celebrity, it didn't take long to garner attention. Raina was constantly being asked to sign autographs and take pictures, which she did with an embarrassed tilt to her head that had her mother laughing every time.

"Raina, what would you do if you saw a famous person walking down your street?"

"Well, I'd… okay, I'd probably do the same thing. But I'm not all that famous, I'm just me."

"And I'm sure that's how all celebrities feel about themselves, dear."

I can do it, I can run, I can hunt you down

You can try but you can't stop me 'cause I'm gaining ground

I'm light on my feet and I'm quick to the punch

I had a heavy breakfast but a real light lunch

I'm a raging bonfire, a cherry bomb

I'm me

She giggled and continued her spontaneous song.

I'm rough and tumble, I'm the one to beat

I'm a fresh coat of black top burning at your feet

I got a poisonous sting, when I rain I pour

I'm the best of the best, I'm the soup du jour

I'm smooth as glass and I'm sharp as a tack

I'm me

I'm the last and best stick of gum in the pack

I'm me

She laughed when a random girl started singing along with her halfway through the second verse, the camera crew that had caught up with them eating it up.

"You know Phineas and Ferb?" Starla asked, her eyes the size of dinner plates as she tried to comprehend a famous person liking her favorite show.

"I love Phineas and Ferb," Raina exclaimed. "The story is hilariously ingenious and the songs are fantastic! I cried at the end of the last episode."

"Phineas and Ferb?" The anchorman asked, trying to get in on the conversation. "Thomas Wilkins, BBC news. Might I ask-"

"It's a Disney cartoon. One of the best to come out in recent years besides Gravity Falls," Starla gasped at the mention of yet another show she watched as the woman signed her mother's autograph book. "I absolutely adore it - the acting was top notch and they kept the concept of one summer vacation going for, like, four years without missing a beat! And like I said before, the music was spectacular. I have all the episodes and all the specials back home!"

"So, you subscribe to Disney+?"

"I can't help it! I was around just after the Disney Renaissance and I loved watching those old movies. The live-action remakes suck - they take all the fun out of them, but the originals… I just can't help myself!" She was grinning broadly, highly animated as she conversed with the news reporter.

"Um… Ms. Rutherford?" The girl asked nervously. "Can you come visit me on my birthday next year? I was born on April twenty-sixth and-"

"Hey, a fellow Taurus," Raina grinned. "I'm April twenty-third. Me and Shakespeare."

"Shakespeare, Miss? What's your birthday have to do with-"

"Please, it's just Raina. You haven't introduced yourself. And no one knows when WIlliam Shakespeare was born, but he died April 23, 1616. So they celebrate his birth on the day he died. I always found that interesting. I don't see why I couldn't come back to London next year. Unless I'm working… Tell ya what. Expect a call on your birthday next year at the very least. But if I can make it, I'll definitely be here for a slice of cake, okay?" She pulled out her phone, scrolling to her calendar. "I'll need your name and information to make this happen."

"My name is Starla Jenkinson and my number is-"

"Not in front of the cameras, darlin." Starla's mother handed her a card with all of their information on it.

"Please feel free to call us anytime, Ms. Raina. I'm Freda Jenkinson and I'm trying to break into acting myself," she primped for the camera. "I would greatly appreciate any advice you could give me."

"I have to be honest, I don't know how I got so famous. I didn't really do anything to make it happen, so I don't know how much help I would be to you." Freda looked disappointed but nodded in acceptance.

"Why are you in London, anyway? Are you working on another project?" The mother asked excitedly, hoping for an introduction.

"Not yet. While my new agent is going through the metric ton of scripts I've been offered, I'm taking a two-week vacation with my mom to look for a wedding dress."

"Have you tried Browns Bride? It's not too far from here. My cousin's niece got the most beautiful dress from them!"

"Really? Cool! We've been striking out everywhere, roaming from wedding shop to wedding shop according to Google."

"My little one is very particular," Lila interjected with a smile. "Where can we find this boutique?" Freda gave the women directions, happy to be able to help.

"Would you mind finishing the song for us, Raina?" Thomas smiled. "It would make an excellent ending for this segment."

"Oh! Um, sure! But only if my buddy here sings it with me!"

"Me?" the girl squeaked, suddenly looking terrified. "I-I can't-"

"Of course you can, Sweetie. You already know the words. We're just having a little jam session." She started on the lyrics immediately, pausing for the timid girl to jump in.

I'm a strong woman, fast-talkin, big-bad-dog walkin

High-falutin, drum-beatin, foot stompin, corn-poppin,

Speeding locomotive that just won't stop!

I'm a hot apple pie with a cherry on top!

I'm a crowd pleasin, head spinnin,

Winnin in the ninth inning,

Whip-lashing, record-smashin,

Black-tie party crashing!

Cyclone of fun, I'm an army of one!

I'm strawberry sprinkles on a hot cross bun!

I'm a big haymaker in a title fight

I'm a cute black kitten with a nasty bite

I'm an action double-feature on a Friday night!

I'm me!

I'm me!

I'm me!

I'm me!

I'm me!

All around the two applause rang out from the crowd that had formed around the two singers who had forgotten all about their audience. Raina hugged the pre-teen and took off for Browns Bride. Or at least she tried to leave. People were trying to get her attention, begging for her autograph or picture. She was beginning to regret not driving. Lila was grinning through the whole fiasco to her chagrin. Once they were finally, finally on their way, the women followed Freda's instructions to the wedding shop.

It was a modest boutique. There were a few racks of dresses as well as dresses on display, the same as every other shop they'd been in. There was a more solemn air to this place though. The women working there were helping a woman who had obviously just found her dream dress. The sight brought a smile to Raina's face and she started looking around the room at the dresses on display, not wanting to step on the excited woman's moment. She and Lila waited patiently to be served, discussing the dresses they could see in hushed tones.

"Welcome to Browns Bride," one of the saleswomen said, noticing them after a few minutes. "My name is Gretchen. How may I serve you today? My God, are you-"

Raina gave a weary sigh. "I'm the lucky bride, Gretchen. Lorraine Rutherford - or Raina for short - at your service." She was pleasantly surprised when she wasn't immediately swarmed for autographs. Fame was exhausting. Not to mention that her hand was starting to cramp from all the signatures in rapid succession.

"Well… Um… We're honored to receive you, Raina, is it? What type of dress were you thinking of?" What followed was a lively debate of the different fabrics and how they would match up against her complexion. Raina must have tried on a dozen gowns all while the bride looked skittish and indecisive.

"I'm so sorry, Gretchen. I know that a bride should know what she wants, I just-"

"It's alright, love," the saleswoman said soothingly. "Not every bride has a dress in mind for themselves. We'll just keep looking. Dress shopping isn't always like it is in romantic comedies."

"That's the thing, though. I've never watched romantic movies! So I don't know a thing about dress shopping or wedding planning or-"

"It's alright, sweetie," Lila was quick to reassure the suddenly panicking woman. "We'll get through this one step at a time. Right now, just focus on the dress, okay?" Lorraine took a deep breath and visibly calmed down. Then she tilted her head, looking over at a lovely dress tucked away in a corner.

"What about that one?" she asked as if she hadn't just been tottering on the edge of a full-blown panic attack. Gretchen looked relieved until she saw the dress the actress was looking at. The composed woman actually gulped, the color draining from her pretty face.

"Th-that dress? You a… ahem… You don't want that dress." She crossed to the offending apparel, snatching it off the rack and inadvertently giving the woman a better look at the lacy dress.

"Why don't I want it?" Raina asked, touching the lacy material reverently. "It looks enchanting."

"Well," the saleswoman sniffed, "you wouldn't find this dress so 'enchanting' if you knew its history. Honestly, I don't know who keeps putting this dress back on the rack…" This last she muttered to herself as she tried to take her customer's hands off the dress. Raina held fast.

"Enlighten me," she said, stubbornly holding onto the dress. Seeing that she'd only piqued the poor woman's interest instead of turning her away from the cursed dress, Gretchen sighed heavily and explained.

"This particular dress is cursed. It's been around since opening day. It's been bought a number of times, but it keeps coming back to us. We call it 'the widowmaker', but that's not accurate. It destroys engagements, usually within seven days of being purchased. It's come back to us over six dozen times since it was originally made. I heard that the woman who made it sewed a lot of anger and resentment into the dress after her own engagement fell apart." She was disappointed when the American only stared at her instead of releasing the dress and backing away in terror.

"Um… Well, thank you for the background information. May I try on the dress now?"

"Are you insane?" another of the saleswomen stage-whispered to her coworker in horror. "You can't let someone try on the widowmaker! It'll put us out of business for sure. How did that dress get back to the front room anyway?"

"That's what I want to know," Gretchen gasped. "I say that they should have burned it the first time it came back to us. I haven't a clue who keeps putting it out for purchase. A bloody disaster in the making, that's what this dress is."

"Excuse me, ladies? You're wrinkling my dress." Both women looked at her as if she'd lost her mind.

"Please Ms. Rutherford. I strongly urge you to-"

"I appreciate the heads up, Gretchen. But I really want to try this dress on to see if it fits. If it does, I plan to purchase it. I'm not a superstitious woman. I'm a child of the King, the Lord of Lords. Almighty God will take care of me. But in the meantime, I fully intend to have this dress fitted to me - if it fits - so that I can cross 'wedding gown' off my list of things to do before November 20th. I don't have a lot of time to pull this wedding together and this trip is specifically for a dress. So, can I try it on?"

Both of the saleswomen were looking at her in awe, never having heard anyone talk about God so reverently and the dress as anything but a bad omen.

"Okay. Right this way, please," Gretchen said at last into the awkward silence. She led her foolhardy customer to the dressing room. When Raina came out, she looked like a princess. The satin under the lace emphasized her muscled curves, giving a touch of sophistication to the lacy gown. The lace itself had 3D flower designs, crystals, and beading imprinted on it. The bodice was a subtle, off-the-shoulder design, flowing into an A-line gown that trailed on the floor. As she lifted the gown to walk forward toward her mother, the dress spread out behind her in a gorgeous river of lace.

"I'm too short! It would have to be-" Lila hugged her with tears in her eyes.

"It's perfect," the older woman said. "You look amazing, my dear." The saleswomen couldn't help but agree. Gretchen then went over to grab a floor-length cathedral veil that accented the gown perfectly. It didn't cover her face, being reminiscent of old-fashioned church confirmations. The combs holding it to her head had pearls on them. Seeing the completed look, Lila couldn't help taking a picture for her husband. When Raina finally saw herself in the mirror, she gasped, then got a grin on her face a mile wide.

"I love it," she sighed happily. "It needs to be hemmed big time so I don't trip over it, but I absolutely love this look on me. I'll buy it. And if by some chance my engagement breaks up, I'll burn it myself. Either way, you won't see this dress in your store again. How much does it cost?" Given the dress' history, it was heavily discounted, but that didn't stop it from being the most expensive dress she ever bought. The staff was quick to work on her alterations, promising that they would be done before she left the country next week. They also worked on picking lingerie and essentials for under this antique dress. Shoes, slip, garter belt… By the time the hem was pinned, she was wearing everything that she would wear on her wedding day. All that was left was her panties, jewelry, and hairstyle. The women left the shop feeling a great sense of accomplishment.

"How do you plan to wear your hair for your wedding, my love? Or are you thinking of hiring a hairdresser?" The girl seemed deep in thought but pulled herself together on the woman's question

"Um… huh? What? Oh," her mind seemed to finally catch up to the question, "that's what I'm trying to decide now. I think I'll wear it down. That veil won't look right with my hair sticking out of the top of it. I'll wash it a few days before and braid it for that wavy look. Then on my wedding morning, I'll re-braid some of them, threading in strings of pearls to complete the look. Where am I going to find strings long enough though… I want to shop around for some pearls. Although push comes to shove, I'll buy a bag of individual pearls and Bobby pins to make it happen." That's how they spent the rest of the day, searching first for strings of pearls and then for bags of them when the strings weren't long enough. She finally found enough pearls and bobby pins for what she had in mind by cleaning out the African beauty supply shops around London.

Then they returned to the hotel and ordered room service while they worked on her vision for her hair. Lila watched as her daughter styled her hair, letting it all down and fashioning some of it into a fairy crown with pearls threaded in it. She then took some of the strands and plaited them straight to the end, fastening it off with little black rubber bands. It was a little tricky to evenly distribute the pearls through the whole mess of hair and it took several tries to figure out how many braids to use so that it looked full without setting off too many metal detectors, but by the time they settled for the night, the two had accomplished it. They took several pictures of the style to reproduce it when they returned to Browns Bride for the final fitting. Then Raina took all the plaits and beads out of her hair, washed it and braided it so that she could have that wavy look she loved but rarely had time for.

The next several days were spent shopping with her mother and discussing the venue for the wedding. Raina even video-conferenced Veronica Stein and Tyr for the discussion. In the end, they decided to rent a hall at a hotel within walking distance of the Gardens for the reception. They would arrive in Calgary early to decorate it the night before. Raina suggested a caterer that had been at David and Tonya's wedding based on the delicious food they provided. The centerpieces, the flowers, the party favors… The wedding was constantly being discussed around everyone's schedule. Lorraine and Lila had the bulk of the discussions though; Lila wanted this to be a perfect day for her precious daughter. She could remember her own wedding and the disaster her mother had made of it. Not wanting to be the mother from Hell, she was careful to heed her child's words and only argue if she had a suggestion that would improve her big day instead of planning her own wedding to thrust upon the excited bride.

"Did you do something different with your hair, Sunshine?" Tyr asked curiously during that first wedding planning video chat.

"Yes, I was going to mention, that isn't quite the same bun that you usually wear," Veronica nodded.

"I'm trying out a new style for the wedding, that's all," Raina said evasively. "My dress should be ready in a day or two and I want to see how it looks all together."

"Well, it looks lovely, Sunshine."

"Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet, baby," she said slyly. "Anyway, about the DJ…" They talked about music and hiring an MC for the event. It was also established that most of the guests would be Raina's friends. As Raina had suspected, most of Tyr's so-called friends had begged off the wedding entirely once they found out that a) it was a location wedding, and b) he wouldn't be springing for plane tickets or a private plane for them. It was a perfect way to establish that the Bank of Tyr was closed, but the man himself was taking it hard. He'd thought that these people cared about him, and it turned out that they didn't. Luckily, the movie project he was working on was a bit of a downer, so his co-stars didn't really notice the difference, but Raina did and her heart bled for him. Not wanting to embarrass him by bringing it up in front of the others, she continued throwing out suggestions to the wedding planner.

Phineas and Ferb - Vanessa Doofenshmirtz - I'm Me