"Hey Thot, I don't feel so good." Anubis said as he held his stomach. With a sigh, Thoth looked up from his book and glared at his canine friend.
"What is it this time? I told you that you needed to stop eating those grapes after the second bunch! I don't understand why you keep doing this to yourself." Thoth grumbled. Anubis always did stuff like this. Don't touch that steak it has poison coated on it, Anubis, don't lick the glowing green rock Anubis! Why didn't Thoth have any normal friends? Well, not that Thoth was normal. People back home tend to stay clear of those they call 'death gods'.
"No, it's not that." Anubis groaned as he laid on his side, wrinkling his suit on the limousine's seats. They were on their way to the ribbon cutting ceremony of some brand new department store. Osiris had invested some money in the company that owned it so they had to show up for appearances since they were here on the king's business.
Technically Thoth was the only one that needed to go, Anubis just wanted to eat free food and be on the local newspaper. Thoth rubbed his forehead. He really didn't want to use his wisdom for something as stupid as this.
"What is it then?" Thoth narrowed his eyes as he adjusted his tie and scooted away from Anubis. He did not want to show up to the ceremony coated in Anubis' breakfast. Plus it was a designer suit, with elements of it crafted from Khepri's spidersilk that she was so fond of using with her handicrafts.
"I believe that we made a mistake.." Anubis started as he placed a hand around his muzzle, acting as if he was about to vomit all over the handmade Greek leather seats. Thoth slowly started reaching for the complimentary umbrella that the limousine had it in case it rained. "I think we should have brought Khepri with us."
Thoth paused as Anubis burped, causing a foul stench to kill his nostrils. Grabbing a napkin, Thoth sprayed some cologne he kept in his pocket and placed it on his nose. You could never be too careful when it came to Anubis.
"And."
Anubis stared into Thoth's soul, if he had one that is. "You know how she is. We left her alone at the party for like five minutes and she almost caused an international incident! We don't need another Thebes."
Thoth shrugged. "Khepri knows better than to cause an incident. Besides, if I remember correctly, you said that Thebes was the most fun you've had in centuries." Thoth's memory was always right. Sadly, it wasn't always useful when he wanted to forget something. Ah the curse of knowledge.
"Yeah but that was me a long time ago. I'm a different jackal now." Anubis stretched his arms over his back, his pain completely gone. Judging by the burp he was going to need some medicine once they got back to the hotel. "I'm more responsible now."
Thoth stared at Anubis, who stared back with a blank face. They both interrupted into laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Thoth felt himself losing control. The driver must think that the two of them were insane foreigners. After a few more minutes of laughing and giggling like little girls, Thoth wiped a tear away with his napkin, forgetting tjat he had sprayed cologne on it.
"Gah!" Thoth took a clean napkin and pressed it on his eye.
"I must say that that is the funniest joke I have ever heard you say." Thoth straightened his suit. They would need to look impeccable for the ceremony.
"Yeah yeah, laugh all you want. You know deep down that I'm right." Perhaps, but Thoth was never going to let Anubis know that. That would be more embarrassing than watching Horus trip on his own tongue when trying to confess to Khepri, his childhood crush.
The socially blind goddess didn't even notice and called him the brother she never had. Ah Horus, the poor bastard.
"Anyways, I hope I don't need to remind you to be on your very best behavior. This isn't a party where you can go and drink straight out of the fruit punch bowl." Thoth said plainly. They should be arriving any minute now if his calculations were correct.
"That was one time! Osiris said it tasted with my drool in it too!" Anubis whined as Thoth smirked. Anubis embarrassing himself in front of the entire pantheon was always a sight to behold.
Eventually, Thoth felt the limousine come to a halt and the drivers window opened.
"We are here sirs." The Nymph with a fancy hat said.
Thoth simply nodded in response. Putting on his favorite pair of sunglasses, the door was opened for them from the outside. It was time to face the music.
Not even a second after Thoth and Anubis stepped out, the flashing lights of cameras filled their, mostly Anubis', eyes.
"Shet, I knew I should have brought mine." Anubis, blinded by the lights, tripped on the red carpet and fell to the ground, causing even more pictures to be taken. Thoth sighed.
He knew he should have left Anubis at the hotel. Hopefully Khepri was having better luck in whatever she was up to than he was.
A/N
Well this update came pretty late. I was staring at my google drive full of unfinished chapters when I realized I hadn't even started on this so I decided to finish it in one evening.
Writing this, I start playing with the idea of a prequel that shows Taylor's time in the Land of the Living/Dead. Would anyone be interested in that? The other idea is slowly adding in flashback chapters to this story a bit more often. Say every other chapter.
Anyways, my inspiration to write fluctuates like the sea. Right now I've been inspired to write a Miraculous Ladybug/Violet Evergarden story. Knowledge of either side of the crossover is not necessary other than the character designs. Feel free to check that out if you like my writing.