(A/N: Sorry about going poof for a few weeks! I had my cousin's wedding, guests for a week, then I got heat exhaustion from Warped Tour, and then my brain decided to hide all my inspiration for this fic. I don't own Ouran (I'm a commoner.) and I don't own any music I mention either. Thanks for the reviews, keep'em coming!)
Chapter 2: Crazy Train
After class, she walked to where the hosts said to find them. Music Room #3, eh? Maybe they have a guitar lying around that they'd let me borrow…. That thought died when she walked in. And saw a tropical forest and not an actual music room. Crazy, they're all crazy! Why did I sign up for this again?! Maybe if I back out slowly, they won't notice… Another thought was brutally slaughtered as Tamaki and Kyoya spotted her walking slowly backward toward the door.
"Ah, there you are McIntire-san. You were very nearly late." Kyoya said, once again with that fake smile.
"Now, I could mistaken….but doesn't the sign say that this is a MUSIC ROOM? It looks like I just walked into a green house, feels like it too." Sam yanked on her collar.
"What better way for our princesses to escape the cold, than for us to provide a tropical paradise? Real gentlemen don't feel the need to be covered up anyway." Tamaki continued on that string for a while so Sam decided to ignore him. When she turned back to Kyoya he was holding up a black skirt like thing and a black snake shaped arm-band. Not bad, but I can't exactly go shirtless. Hmmm…
"Is there some way I could wear a shirt with that or something? I've got an embarrassing scar on my chest I'd rather not display to the world. I'll wear the skirt or whatever that thing is." Sam requested with a look on her face that dared Kyoya to refuse.
"Mori-sempai has some work out shirts you can choose from in the dressing room. You may want to hurry, the club opens soon." Kyoya said with a put-upon expression.
"Thanks, dude!" She called over her shoulder. The twins were laughing at Kyoya's expression when she called him dude.
####
"Welcome." We all said. Then we noticed it was Haruhi. She was staring at us with disbelief.
"My calendar says it's still early spring." She deadpanned. "And why is Sam-sempai here? And why is he holding a snake on his shoulders?"
"I sat with the club here at lunch and decided 'why not?' As to Cuddles here, he looked lonely." Sam explained her part in this insanity and patted the ball python that was constricting a bit around the back of her neck. HA! Her expression is priceless!
"Do you have a problem with how we run our club? Remember you owe us a debt of 8 million yen." Kyoya said with a cold glint in his eye and that damn fake smile gleaming on his face.
"Hurry, my daughter! I got you a matching outfit to mine! We need to make full use of amazing heating system in here!" Tamaki gushed, putting an arm around Haruhi who looked highly unimpressed. "This club will be like a never-ending summer!"
"That's funny, because I just felt a massive chill." Haruhi once again deadpanned. She's gotta teach me that.
Then Haruhi refused to put on the dress that Tamaki showed her and Sam didn't blame her, not only did it look ridiculous but wasn't the point of her dressing in a boy's uniform that no one would find out that she was a girl? Sheesh. Dumbass.
####
"Ne, Sam-kun, how can you stand to have that huge snake on your shoulders?" questioned dandelion number three as Sam had labeled her.
"He looked lonely so I decided to be his friend." Sam replied with an only slightly sarcastic smile. She really did love animals, but this snake had just slithered onto her randomly. She just had no urge to move it. The dandelions went into full fan-girl mode.
"Kyaa!~ So brave and manly!"
"He's so kind to animals!"
"That devilish smirk is like a breath of fresh air!"
Sam took this opportunity to look around the room to see what the other hosts were doing. The twins were all over each other which disturbed her, Tamaki was being cheesy which amused her, Haruhi was being kind which made her happy, Honey was being cutesy which made her want to hug him, Mori was being strong and silent which made her respect him (Honey was climbing all over him), and Kyoya was being unfailingly polite which made her curious about if he ever loosened up. Noting his clipboard, she snorted. Not likely. Turning back to her guests, she decided to be more sociable so as not to get nagged at by Kyoya.
"So, what type of music do you all like?" Sam asked them. She could talk about music forever and not have to fake her enthusiasm. She just would have to be careful to keep her voice in check.
"I like classical. It's so soothing and romantic." The first dandelion sighed, Sam thought her name was Megumi.
"I can understand that, it's the first type of music you learn to play on any instrument and there's just something so satisfying about playing it. It stirs the soul of just about anyone." Sam responded excitedly, her eyes sparking. She really missed her guitar. Two of the dandelions sighed with hearts in their eyes.
"Do you play an instrument Sam-kun? You sound so empassioned, I could hardly think anything else!" Dandelion 2….maybe Akane? asked.
"I have played the guitar for many years, I really wish I could play something for you ladies but my parents wouldn't let me bring it with me to Japan." Sam said with genuine regret.
The dandelions looked genuinely sad and sympathetic…..maybe she should stop calling them dandelions.
"Why wouldn't they let you bring it?" Megumi asked.
"They don't support my passion for music. They think it's useless and that I should focus on being the perfect businessman. But don't you ladies fret; as soon as I am able I will buy a new guitar and play for you all." Sam declared with a fierce expression. The customers squeed, reverting to their fangirl-ish tendencies. Ah well, at least I know they're all right people under the air-headedness. This host club lark might not be that bad. And I get to help Haruhi with her debt. I think it is pretty ridiculous for the club to charge her for that accident.
"So, are you excited for the party?" Akane asked.
"What party?" She asked, confused.
"The host club is throwing a party this weekend in the Grand Ball Room." Megumi replied.
"Hm, that doesn't sound like my scene exactly. However, I think I could handle it with you all there." Sam laid on the charm. If she were hosting, she might as well do it thoroughly. She had kind of dropped the ball earlier. Are those nosebleeds natural? Should I get the nurse?
In any case, it was time for her next appointments. She was saying, " 'Sup?" to her new batch of dandelions when she heard Tamaki squawk across the room. From what Sam could tell, one of Tamaki's regulars had decided to switch to Haruhi. Sam smirked. That was just too funny. But, back to business… She turned back to her guests.
####
After the club closed, Sam changed back to her uniform as fast as she could. She didn't want to be caught without a shirt on. That reminded her…. She walked over to Mori.
"Mori-sempai, thank you for letting me borrow your shirt." Sam thanked, bowing slightly as she had learned from her Sensei.
"Mah." was Mori's response as he ruffled her hair.
Sam grumbled, trying to fix her hair back into the loose braid it had been in. This caught the twins' attention. They practically ran over with a scheming gleam in their eyes. This did not bode well.
"What's with the long, girly hair anyway?" Gred (maybe Hikaru) asked.
"Yeah, we should make it into a more flattering style." Forge (probably Kaoru) said grabbing the tip of Sam's braid. Neither of them had noticed the straightening or tensing of Sam's posture. They did notice when she spun around.
"Touch. My. Hair. Again. And. I. Will. Break. You." Sam growled with a demonic gleam in her eyes as she grabbed Kaoru's hand and yanked it away from her precious locks. They meeped and hastily retreated. Sam could hear grumblings of "scary" and "violent new toy." Her eye twitched. Like she had used even an ounce of her full strength. Hell, they were lucky she half-expected them to invade her personal space; otherwise, they might have been thrown across the room.
"So, Haruhi-chan, do you want a lift home?" Sam asked, wanting to get home at a reasonable time. Plus, she still needed to go to the grocery store.
"Sure." Her fellow cross-dresser replied.
"See ya'll later!" Sam called over her shoulder.
####
Sam surveyed her cart and nodded. It looked about right. It was full of ramen packets, fruit, rice, chicken, and pocky. Sure, it wasn't completely healthy but it was all she could cook. Plus most of the food here was completely unknown to her. Her parents had spent so much time on making her a convincing boy that they had neglected the silly things such as: Japanese food, how to cook said food, and how much it should cost. Shows what their priorities are. Sam was radiating rage by the time she got to the check out. Needless to say, that cashier checked the items at record speed. Sam paid quickly and left.
On her way home she kept an eye out for "Now Hiring" signs to make a note of and apply to later. Glancing around, she stopped in her tracks. Could she really be that lucky?
There was a music store that had a "Help Wanted" sign in the window. She ran all the way back to her apartment so that she could put away the perishables in the fridge. After that, she went to her room and changed into the most presentable boy clothes she had: a black button-up shirt, dark washed boy skinny jeans with a chain on them, and her nice combat boots. Her hair was fine, so she left.
Taking a closer look at the music store, she realized that its name is "Rock On." It made her grin. Sounds like my type of place. She walked in straight to the counter where a man who looked like he had been 'rocking on' since before she was born. He had tattoos all up one arm, long black hair in a ponytail, pierced ears, and laugh lines ever so slightly around his eyes and mouth. Sam would place him to be in his forties.
"Hello, I'm McIntire Sam. I saw your sign; could I please have an application?" Sam asked respectfully, which she admitted was rare with her when it came to adults. She fiddled with her lip-piercing while the man scrutinized her.
"Honda Asuma. There is no application. I will ask you some questions and if I like you I will hire you." Mr. Honda declared with steely eyes.
"Ask away then, sir." Sam replied, kind of intrigued. Mr. Honda surveyed her expression and then nodded.
"Why do you want to work here?" he asked.
"Music is my passion." Sam replied simply.
"Do you play an instrument?" was his next question.
"Yes, I play the guitar." Sam replied, trying not to sound sad at thinking of her missing appendage.
"For how long?" Mr. Honda asked.
"For 5 years." Sam answered.
Mr. Honda grabbed a random guitar from the wall he had them displayed on and handed it to her. "Play something."
Sam thought about it for a second and then, after tuning the instrument and fishing a guitar pick out of her pocket, started playing the higher part of the guitar solo from "Never Give In" by Black Veil Brides, obviously she couldn't play two guitars at once. Mr. Honda's eyebrows shot up. Obviously, he had thought that she had been bluffing to get the job. Sam only noticed this peripherally, though. She was in heaven. Playing this guitar made her feel whole again. After she finished, she looked up at Mr. Honda waiting for his verdict. He looked like he was doing some serious thinking.
Finally he spoke. "You have talent, but can you play something classic? Or do you only know this new stuff?"
Without speaking, Sam re-tuned the guitar and played the guitar solo from "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne. This was one of the most exciting guitar solos Sam had learned. It always got her adrenaline pumping. Mr. Honda looked unwillingly impressed. However, he still had to test her one more time. He grabbed an acoustic guitar and handed it to her as he took the other guitar back. He looked at her expectantly.
Sighing, Sam tuned this guitar, and played "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down. It was a favorite of hers.
"So, do I pass your inspection?" She asked with a slight grin. Playing the guitar always improved her mood.
"Sure, brat. You start next Monday. Come in whenever you're done with school and club activities." Mr. Honda grunted.
"Thank you, sir! I'll be here!" Sam said excitedly and she practically floated home.
####
Sam woke up early the next day. She had forgotten to go through her katas and usual morning exercises the day before. Granted, she had been exhausted from moving; but her Sensei would kick her ass if she got out of shape by the next time she saw him. Binding her chest, she decided to put on a loose t-shirt and boy athletic shorts and go for a run before starting her katas. She ran around the neighborhood for thirty minutes before doing fifty push-ups and sit-ups. From there, she went through her katas with precision. Getting a whiff of herself, she decided that a shower would be a great idea.
Stumbling into her uniform, she realized that she was running late. She ate a banana in two bites, grabbed her bag and keys, and dashed out of the apartment. Haruhi was nowhere to be seen, so she probably was already well on her way to school by now. Sam dashed to Tim, started him up while shoving her helmet on, and sped off towards Ouran. Right after she parked and locked Tim, she dashed off to her classroom.
She made it just in time. Kyoya was looking at her disheveled state with disapproval, Tamaki was just glad she was here, and the dandelions thought she looked "so dreamy and rebellious." She sat down and re-tied her hair in a more secure low ponytail. She was still breathing pretty heavily while she fished her notebook and pencil out. Like yesterday, she dutifully took notes until US History.
She decided to study her fellow host club members today. Tamaki was staring into space daydreaming but taking notes at the same time. It was very disconcerting. Kyoya was taking his notes dutifully and with precision. Sam noticed that he had dark circles under his eyes. Had he not gotten enough sleep? That had to suck. She got bored soon after that and started doodling guitars again. This time, however, she noticed the bell going off for lunch. She packed her things and turned toward the other hosts.
"Hey." She greeted.
"Hello Sam! How are you today, my son?" Tamaki asked bubbily.
Sam blinked. "Um…..that's not even remotely possible. We're the same age."
As she was speaking a dark cloud of emo-ness descended on Tamaki.
"…did I just….break him? Or is he bipolar?" Sam asked Kyoya, a little freaked out by Tamaki's change in demeanor.
"He takes our host club being a family really seriously. Speaking of family, your parents run McIntire Co….correct?" Kyoya changed subjects rather quickly as though it pained him to talk of Tamaki's eccentricities.
"Yes." Sam replied with a sigh. She hated talking about her parent's destructive business.
"How come that's all I could find out about you online? Surely you went to school or something! I mean, all I could find was your name." Kyoya responded with a gleam in his eye that said he was unused to being uninformed about the people around him. Well, he's just going to have to get used to it.
"First of all, why were you researching me? That's kinda stalker-ish dude. Secondly, my parents are very protective of me because of the business they run. Apparently, I'm a weakness. Never mind the fact that they've had me training in martial arts since I was little." Sam was ranting by the end, and she knew it. Luckily, she was able to keep her voice low-pitched.
"I like to check the background of all of the hosts and our clients. We wouldn't want any unsavory characters, after all." He replied like it was the simplest thing in the world and not all obsessive compulsive.
"Whatever. So, what's on the agenda today?" Sam asked as they walked into the cafeteria.
"We're going to finalize our plans for the party. Do you know how to dance?" Kyoya inquired as they ordered their food.
"Yes, but nothing high class. I only know what I learned at rock concerts. Somehow, I don't think that is what you want me to do at the party." Sam replied with a smirk as they took their seats.
"Definitely not." He replied with a slight smirk. Hmmm…better than his fake smile. "It seems that both Haruhi and you will have to learn today."
####
"One, two, three, one, two, three,….you're doing it Sam-chan! Now we can take a break for some cake!"
Sam watched her pint-sized sempai skipping off toward the refreshment table of the meeting. Why was he the one teaching her, you may ask. Well, he was the only one in the club shorter than her and that would make it easier for her to learn the lead part. The flip-flopping dandelion was teaching Haruhi. Tamaki was in his emo corner eating ramen sulkily because he couldn't teach Haruhi to dance.
Once Haruhi had the hang of dancing we decided to have some tea. The dandelion apparently knew a lot about tea sets. Sam wasn't paying much attention as she was drinking her tea. She was plotting how she was going to use the money she would save up and calculating how much stuff should cost. Vaguely she noticed the host club making a plan to get the dandelion and her fiancé together. She really didn't want a part in it because it was really none of their business, and if it were true love it would work out in the end.
She would pay for her lack of attention.
####
It was half-way through the party when all of the other hosts suddenly disappeared. All of the fan girls turned toward her with a demonic glint in their eyes.
"Shit."
####
After almost an hour of dancing with several girls per song, Sam felt like she was going to die. The bindings on her chest weren't helping. She was actually starting to get dizzy. Luckily the other hosts chose this moment to show up.
"Well, ladies it appears that I'm needed elsewhere." Sam panted out and then practically ran to where the other hosts were.
The twins were hiding their laughter poorly, Haruhi looked sympathetic, Honey looked worried, Mori was frowning, Tamaki looked uncharacteristically serious, and Kyoya was spinning…
Maybe I shouldn't have run just now, was Sam's last thought before she passed out.
####
(A/N: Yes, I'm evil for ending it there. To be honest, I felt this chapter had gone on long enough and I also wanted to end it on an exciting note. It also turned out a little different than how I expected. Let me know what ya'll think!)