Souvenirs by Three Days Grace

Change of Plan by Lorne Balfe

Free Fall by Lorne Balfe

2020

Verdun

Reset 203

Having witnessed the personal lives of her team now, Rita felt even more pressure to save them. It became her focus, borderline obsession. She had to make sure all of them made it out.

That's why it hurt so bad when Kamden was killed.

As she moved away from his fallen body, all Rita could see was his sister and parents sobbing at the news of his death, and she didn't want that for them. Then she got angry at herself for allowing to get close to them all. This was what she'd wanted to avoid. How could she have done this to herself? She knew better than to let her humanity side get involved, especially during a war where nothing and no one was safe.

She unleashed a scream of anger, making Travis give her a startled look.

"What the hell?!" he asked.

"I can't take this anymore!" she shrieked. "I just can't!"

Travis grabbed her by the elbow and yanked her somewhere out of harm's way. Pete and Harvey were holding their own across the way.

"Rita, you've got to get a hold of yourself," he ordered.

"You don't understand," she said, "his sister...his parents..."

"Will be devastated, yes," he finished for her, "but that's the cost of war. You understand that, right?"

"You know about them?"

"Of course. Unlike you, I got to know our mates." It wasn't meant to be a harsh statement, just a fact he was telling her, and she knew it was true.

"I know them now..."

"Yea, and you're letting it distract you," Travis said, giving her a shake with his hand on her shoulder. "You can reset, Rita. He's not dead forever."

"Not yet," she reminded him.

"Don't go there. Not right now. We need you here in the present," he said firmly. "Okay?"

"Okay." She gave a nod, and he released her. He didn't make it three steps away from her before getting annihilated by a Mimic. Rita opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out. She sank to her knees, feeling broken inside. She realized she was nothing without her team, without Travis. She couldn't do this alone...not physically or mentally. She needed him to help keep her sane...on track.

She hadn't needed someone this much since Luke.

The Mimic, having finished destroying Travis, turned to face her, coming closer slowly and letting loose a sound that would make anyone run in fear, but she got back to her feet, held her ground, and stared back with gritted teeth. These things did not scare her anymore. The only thing that scared her was being alone.

"Do your worst," she spat. It kept staring, and she began pounding her fist against her chest, ignoring the pain from beating on her mech suit. "Come on! Come and get me! Come ON! COME OOOON!"

And it lunged.

Reset 207

Travis was practising with a melee while Rita drank her water like a dying person. She tossed the bottle into the bin and wiped her mouth with the back of her wrist. She fought back all the visions of her team dying; it was getting harder to do.

"There's really no way out of there?" Travis asked a moment later, panting from the effort.

"I can't seem to find it. I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"You sure the vision was accurate?"

"It has to be."

"It's not just a trick?" he inquired. Rita frowned.

"Why would it be a trick?"

"I dunno. Just a thought."

"It's not," she insisted strongly, and he gave a light shrug.

"If you say so."

It couldn't be a trick. It just couldn't. Rita thought hard about it. Everything in the vision had been real. If it was a trick, wouldn't something be out of place? No, it wasn't a trick. She was connected to this Omega by blood. It was real.

Travis stopped practising and drank his water next. Rita stood there now feeling unsure, and she hated that.

"Sorry," he said, noticing. "I didn't mean to make you doubt everything."

"I don't know what to believe anymore, Travis," she confessed, running a hand over her head roughly. "Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not. I don't know. I feel trapped. I feel like this is never going to end."

"Well, it can," he pointed out, "but that's not ideal."

"No, it's not. I don't want to lose the ability to reset," she confirmed. Pete, Harvey, and Kamden arrived then, and she knew this conversation was over.

"What's this? Getting in a training session without us?" Harvey asked, faking outrage. "Not fair!"

"You're welcome to join in," Travis offered, gesturing with his hand.

"Melee?" Pete frowned as he looked at it. "What good is that?"

"Great when you run out of bullets," Travis answered.

"Huh..." There was interest in Pete's tone at this.

"Wanna spar a bit?" Kamden asked. Rita excused herself at this point, not wanting to watch them fight each other today. She left and headed for a quick shower. Once that was out of the way, she went for a walk, hands shoved in her pockets. She got to her rock and stood on it, surveying the land in front of her. She wasn't sure why she was drawn to this rock, but she realized there was one back near Heathrow Base that she'd frequented in the past, so she figured she must have unconsciously sought it out here as well.

She felt a headache forming, and she massaged her temple with her fingers lightly. She felt a bit lost, if she was honest. It made her do one of the things that helped her feel better.

She talked to her dad.

"What do I do?" she asked out loud. A slight breeze took her words and spread them into the air. "Tell me what to do, Dad."

Be strong.

His voice always came in loud and clear, and she could almost picture him sitting beside her.

"I am, but it's not enough. I'm falling apart, Dad. I think I'm losing my mind, and I am beginning to think we are not gonna win this war." Her throat tightened as she spoke. The thought of losing the war was unbearable.

Just breathe. Don't let thoughts keep you stuck in fear. They're just thoughts. They don't control you.

Rita inhaled slowly through her nose, closing her eyes and picturing herself running as fast as she could with her father right behind her, laughing. While it elicited emotions, it also brought a sense of comfort.

Even if it all falls apart, everything is gonna be alright. I promise.

She saw him smiling at her, felt him hug her, and she opened her eyes and felt like she could breathe a little easier. She knew he was right. No matter what happened, there was something better that awaited them all. Lucy had talked about it all the time, and Rita believed it.

"You okay?" Travis asked, startling her slightly. She turned her head to look over her shoulder and see him standing there.

"Yea," she answered. "Just thinking about my dad."

"Ah," he said, sitting down next to her. "That's funny cos I'm thinking about my mum."

"I really like her," Rita said without thinking, and he gave her a startled look.

"You've met her?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes. Sorry, I meant to tell you earlier, but the guys showed up," she said. "I, uh, took you to see her once."

"You did? That was nice of you. I bet I enjoyed that," Travis said, his tone light but also revealing a bit of longing.

"I believe so," she confirmed. She watched him take this information in and give a light scoff before reaching under his shirt to pull out a cross. She was surprised, having not known he'd worn one. He closed his fingers around it and gave a light shake of his hand before looking at her.

"It's my uncle's," he told her without her asking. "Mum gave it to me when I was old enough to appreciate it, and I've never taken it off."

"It meant something to her," Rita said, understanding.

"It did. My uncle was all the family she had, and when he died at war when she was barely an adult, that cross was all she had left of him. She said giving it to me meant I'd carry a piece of him forward long after she was gone, that someone would still remember him."

Rita felt like she knew what he was going to say before he said it, and she wasn't disappointed.

"If something happens to me," he said, "and you're still alive, can you give it back to her?"

"I will," she promised.

"If she didn't make it either, please keep it. That way at least someone will carry the three of us forward with them."

Rita felt tears in her eyes starting, and she noticed Travis was looking a bit emotional himself. She reached to put her hand over his, which was resting on his knee.

"You're the closest friend I've had in a very long time, and one of the few who have my trust," she said, "so, cross or no cross, Travis, I'd never forget you." He gave a small smile and cleared his throat.

"That means a lot," he said honestly.

"If I don't make it," she said now, and he held her gaze, "if you find Brendan, can you look after him?"

"You know I would."

"Thank you." She felt cheated because Travis would never remember this conversation, but she would. She felt like he would regardless, though, since he'd always cared about her and had been trying to help find her son for a while now. She knew he wouldn't remember anything about Luke but would possibly find out from her belongings. If he reconnected them, if Luke was still alive...she found herself feeling happy at this thought.

"Alright," he said, patting her hand with his other and then moving to stand up. "Enough of this morbid talk. Let's go have a laugh, shall we?"

"About what?" she asked, getting to her feet next.

"No idea, but let's find out."

Rita followed, feeling like she should be focusing on tomorrow's events but at the same time feeling so tired of thinking about just the war.

A little while later, after scaring Harvey so badly that he screamed like a little girl, they both ran like crazy, laughing like wild hyenas.

Reset 210

Faster, Rita. Faster. Run! Ruuuun! DON'T LOOK BACK!

Gunshots.

She jerked awake, seeing images of a trail and woods in her mind as she slowly sat up and pressed a hand to her head. She recognized those woods. Her heart pumped a bit harder as she replayed one of her worst memories, which she knew this nightmare had stemmed from.

Sometimes, she still got angry with Luke for not trying to save her father, but as a parent, she fully understood that her father had sacrificed himself to save her life. It was a messy feeling inside, and she hated even more that she now knew it was Simon who'd pulled the trigger and killed her father.

She gave her head a shake. She was no longer giving Simon space in her brain. Instead, she focused on trying to get rid of the built up adrenaline from her flight or fight being triggered in her sleep. She evened her breathing, slid her fingers up and down her chain around her neck, and conjured up an image of her father laughing and happy. She began to feel calmer, and he waved at her in her mind before disappearing. Brendan appeared next, smiling and laughing. He was about 10 years old and gangly from starting to have a growth's spurt. He ran off a moment later, and then Luke was there.

He was simply leaning his hip against a doorway, his arms crossed and a smile on his face.

Her fingers slid down to her wedding band, sliding the tip of her thumb through it and spinning it slowly with her fingers. She remembered the day he'd put it on her finger and how it had felt like the best feeling in the world to finally be completely his.

Travis waking up by coughing and clearing his throat made her open her eyes and lose all the images there, but she was a lot calmer now, and she turned her head to see Travis blinking a bit blearily and giving his head a shake.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yea," he answered. "I'm good."

She nodded and decided to just get up. There was no point in trying to fall back asleep now. She found her running shoes under her bed and put them on, forgoing other training for today.

Today, she just wanted to run.

Reset 212

Rita was feeling surprised. They had managed to get off the battlefield and were making their way towards the direction of the cathedral. She felt nervous, like this had been an entire fluke instead of all her hard work being paid off.

"What now?" Travis asked.

"I—" she started, but was killed before getting the chance to finish her sentence.

Reset 213

Rita finished killing the surprise Mimic and reloaded while looking around quickly. Travis was as well.

"Any ideas?" he asked. She searched their surroundings, noticing an abandoned vehicle not too far away.

"There," she said, pointing. He nodded, and they made their way towards it. Rita was relieved the door was unlocked when she tried it. She dropped the visor and found the keys. Travis crammed himself in as best as he could, and she started to laugh at how squished he was.

"Couldn't find us a hummer, huh?" he asked sarcastically.

"Sorry."

He sighed and tilted his seat back so his head wasn't pressed against the ceiling. Rita got it started and began to drive.

"How did you meet Chloe?" she asked after a bit, and he smiled.

"Told you about her did I?"

"A few times."

"Ah, well you'll get a laugh out of this then. I was helping a friend cater some weddings for a summer, and Chloe happened to be the maid of honor at one. She came over to say hi, and I was so startled that I accidentally dumped an entire glass of wine from my tray on her."

"Travis!" Rita exclaimed, laughing.

"I knew you'd laugh," he chuckled. "Yea, it was bad, but she didn't care. Always the planner, she had a backup dress in her car, and once she got sorted out, she spent the evening following me around while I worked and asked me a million questions about myself and different things. It turned out that I wasn't the only one hooked at first sight."

"That's sweet," Rita commented, smiling now.

"She wanted a baby so bad," he went on, faltering a little. "I felt terrible for not being able to give her one."

"I'm sorry," Rita said, not knowing what else to say. He gave a rueful smile back.

"It was not meant to be, and maybe that's for the best," he said. "I mean, I did wonder what it'd be like to be a parent, you know? But then I got thinking that maybe I'd be really bad at it, so a child was spared of that."

"It's a mix of good things and frustrating things," Rita confessed. "And I was alone doing it."

"By choice?"

"It's a long story."

"Have you told me before?"

"Yes."

"Then I won't make you say it again."

"It's alright. Basically, I was given evidence that Luke had said really horrible things about me, and my cousin was threatening to kill me and him, so I left and never looked back."

"Shit, that's rough." Travis winced.

"Brendan knew of his father—I had made sure of that. I just never told Luke about him."

"You regret that?"

"Right now...a lot," she answered honestly. "I never knew how to go back, and when I tried once, I saw him with someone else, and I just didn't want to bother. I was angry again."

"So how did you manage being a single mother?"

"Well, I had some help," Rita replied. "I had a neighbor who gave advice and support. I worked at a bar for a while as I put myself through school to be a teacher, and my boss and one coworker were great supports, even though I didn't fully let them in. They respected that. They figured out I was in hiding, but they never pushed for more information." She left out Brian and his family. She didn't like talking about him...it just hurt too much.

"In hiding...so did you have a fake name?"

"For a while, yes. When I signed up for the UDF, I figured if Simon wanted to come and get me, let him try."

"Does Brendan know your real name?"

"He found out, and he was quite upset with me. It's one of the things we'd fought about before he left."

"Ouch."

"I still have his note," she said, reaching into her zippered pocket under her mech suit and pulling it out. She had it memorized by this point. Travis took it gingerly and read it while she drove.

"'Dear Mum,'" he started, "'I hope you know that I'm not mad at you anymore. I understand that you lied to keep me safe, although from what I'm still confused about. You promised to tell me one day, and I'll hold you to that. Anyway, you're reading this because I could no longer just stand by while the world was in danger. You always said that my dad was out there keeping us all safe, and I want to do the same. I know he'd want me to do the same. I promise to be as careful as I can be, but I can't sit safely on the edge anymore when so much is at stake. I'm jumping in, and I'm sorry I telling you this way instead of in person. I knew you'd try to change my mind. I'm sorry, Mum, for all the things I did or said to upset you. I'm sorry for not being able to be honest with you. When this is all over, I'll definitely be talking to you more about this. I love you. See you soon. Brendan.'" Travis automatically turned it over to look for more on the back, but there was nothing. "Wow. You found out he left from this?"

"Yes." Rita had been stunned and upset. She'd cried a lot. Then she'd gone to sign up herself not long after to go find him, and she hadn't been able to. She wondered what he meant when he said he was sorry for not being honest with her, but that was something she'd have to ask him when she saw him again.

If.

No, when. She was not going to go to the worst case scenario. Not this time. She took the note back from Travis and tucked it back into her pocket before zipping it shut again.

"That's a big burden to have for all that time, Rita," he commented.

"It was, but I did it for him."

"You said you tried to find Luke once and found him with someone else?"

"Yes."

"He was for sure?"

"It looked that way to me."

"Well, looks can be deceiving."

"Regardless, he does not know about Brendan, and I feel terrible about it," Rita went on. Travis sucked his teeth lightly, thinking.

"Well, Rita. I think you should tell him everything when you see him again."

"You think I will see him again?"

"I can feel it," he answered, looking at her. "I feel it in my bones. You, Rita Vrataski, are gonna get a second chance with him. Don't blow it." He gave her a look over pretend glasses, and she scoffed lightly, a small smile on her lips now.

"What is the first thing you want to do when we win this thing?" she asked.

"Ah, feeling confident again, are we?"

"Yes. Now answer the question."

"Alright. I think the first thing I'm gonna do is have a glass of my whiskey and then run around hooting and hollering like an idiot with my teammates to celebrate our win. Then, when I'm allowed to, I'm going home to my Ma and never taking her or normal, boring life for granted again."

"Sounds like you've got it all figured out," she commented. "But...what if you're the only survivor of our team?"

"I refuse to think that. We're all gonna be okay, Rita. My gut says it."

"Travis..."

"Don't tell me to be realistic," he interrupted. "Let me have this."

Rita closed her mouth. Why deny him the fantasy? If it was helping him cope and survive, then she'd let him have it. She wasn't about to remind him that in a past reset he'd said he felt like he wasn't going to make it. She switched topics then.

"You've never offered me any of your secret whiskey stash," she advised. He looked surprised.

"No?"

"Nope."

"Well, then we need to change that. Next time tell me, and we'll have a drink together."

"I will."

They were quiet for a bit until he spoke again. "I mean it, Rita. Everything's gonna be okay. You're gonna find Brendan and get a chance to make it right with Luke, and we're gonna survive and win this war."

Rita didn't comment. She was struggling to believe this, but she didn't want to rain on his parade if he'd had a change of feeling about it all. Her gut said something very different, but she guessed only time would tell.

"RITA!" he bellowed, reaching to grab her arm, and she yelped and jerked the wheel hard to the left to swerve and avoid the Mimic that came from nowhere. She overcorrected, and they ended up rolling. She covered her head with her arms, waiting for it to be over. They landed on her side a moment later, and she tried to breathe while shaking. She looked up at Travis, who was taking some breaths with his eyes closed.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yea," he answered. Then she saw the Mimic coming.

"Travis," she said urgently, trying to unclip her belt to no avail. "Travis, look out!"

He yanked his head to see it coming, and he went for his gun that was now behind him and just out of reach; he couldn't get it. He looked at Rita, his eyes showing acceptance.

"You'll bring me back," he said, stating it as a fact. Rita threw out her arm, as if that was going to help him, and released a sound she couldn't quite describe. Glass shattered, and the Mimic impaled and killed Travis in seconds.

Rita went for her seatbelt again, but the Mimic picked up the car and tossed it, making her cry out and brace herself again. She decided to take matters into her own hands, and scrabbled for her gun. She touched it just as the Mimic bore down on her.

And it all went black.

Reset 214

"I want that drink," Rita said, looking at Travis as he sat on the edge of his cot across from her. It was almost lights out, and she didn't want to forget to mention this to him. He lifted a brow.

"A drink?" he repeated.

"Yea. You said to tell you that I haven't had any of your stash yet," she said. He chuckled.

"Well alright," he said, reaching for it under his cot. He handed it to her, and she took a swig before giving a cough and wiping at her mouth with her arm. She handed it back.

"You don't drink much do you?" he asked.

"Not really."

"Bad experience?"

"A couple."

"Fair enough."

"Okay," she said, resting her hands on her knees now. "We seem to only get so far with the car and we're attacked."

"So what's the plan?"

"I have no idea," she muttered.

"Try a different route I guess?"

"I guess. It's all we can do." She was so tired of never knowing when a Mimic was going to show up. She was so tired of all of this.

"You look tired, Rita," he commented.

"I'm exhausted," she answered truthfully. "But I can't give up. I can never give up. The world is counting on me."

"And yet no one but you and I know what you can do," he added.

"Maybe I should try telling the others," she said. She'd debated it for a while. They could help better if they knew what they were doing. She felt sure of it.

"I can help," Travis offered.

"I'd appreciate it."

"Then we'll do it," he confirmed. "First thing?"

She nodded, and he put his whiskey away before dusting his hands off.

"Get some sleep, Rita," he said now, tucking himself into bed. "You're gonna need it."

She didn't respond, just did her best to get comfortable and not miss Luke's warm body next to her.

She really hoped her team would be receptive to her ability to reset and give the help she desperately needed.