Un-Thankful Part 3
Drakken wasn't exactly sure what had occurred in the span of the last five minutes, mostly because he was still processing Shego's words and actions. While his mind wanted to focus on Shego, who was now a few feet away from him and in a defensive stance, the flood of new concerns were slowly breaking through. The fact that Possible and Stoppable were present at yet another one of his family functions was clearing out any other thought. Mostly because they were all in the kitchen and a whip nearly hit him in face.
Misty had been aiming for Stoppable, who had dodged her attack and bumped into the island. If the sound of the whip in Drakken's right ear hadn't drawn his focus, the knife embedding itself into the floor near Shego's foot did. She leapt out of the way, hands ablaze, and backed both she and Drakken back into the corner again.
He glared at the scene before him. The sound of his mother's voice from the backyard got closer. He could hear the family in the living room headed towards the kitchen. He looked at Shego leaning against him, the heat radiating from her hand near his arm. She was about to join in the fight as Ed threw a blender at Possible. Drakken scowled as anger finally won over. He held his arm out to halt Shego's impending blast.
"Enough!" yelled Drakken. He hadn't expected everyone to freeze but they did.
"Seriously Cuz, kinda in the middle of—" Ed was cut off as the back door opened.
"What is all this commotion in here?" Estelle looked around the room as she entered. "Drewbie, what are your patient and her friend doing here again?"
"Patient?" asked Misty. Ed nudged her and rolled his eyes at Drakken.
"Oh, them again. What a treat," said Michelle. She looked at Ed with narrowed eyes and then to Misty. "Wonder what brought them this time?"
"Seriously, Drew's patients are obsessed with me, what can I say," smirked Ed, "right Red?"
"Again with this," muttered Possible as she looked to Stoppable as the naked mole rat climbed on his shoulder.
"You know what? Clearly they didn't get my memo Mama Lipsky." Drakken glanced at Shego as she cleared her throat and went about her explanation. "I specifically made sure all those e-mails were sent out well in advance to contact Dr. Lucius. You know, if there was any need for medications or concerns over the holidays."
"Dr. Lucius...? What are they talking about?" asked Misty, "I thought you said they were—"
"I thought you said Dr. Hector?" asked Estelle with a raised brow.
"Dr. Lucius Hector," said Shego confidently.
"Why does that young lady have a whip?" asked Nana Lois as she wheeled into the kitchen, Lydia's blonde friend Betty pushing her through the crowd huddled near the door.
"We're just here for ohm...Tara," said Stoppable. He seemed to be as confused as Misty.
"TERA," corrected Possible, nodding to him. "My apologies for interrupting this lovely holiday gathering."
"Who's Tera? I thought the stripper here with Eddie was named Misty," said Betty calmly. Drakken glanced at Shego as he saw a flicker of a smile on her face.
"Wait. So your wife's a stripper?" Stoppable addressed Ed. Drakken let out an audible laugh at his cousin's expression.
"Wife?" asked Michelle and Possible at the same time.
"You two did get married in Vegas, didn't you? I mean...you're dressed different. I could be wrong," Stoppable massaged his chin. "No… The whip was there."
"Edward Bartholomew P. Lipsky!" snapped Michelle, her fists balled. "You're married!?"
Suddenly Ed looked like the child from the family photos rather than the violent evil mechanical genius he currently was. Drakken looked to his mother, who was covering her mouth and shaking. Laughing. Drakken glanced at Shego, trying to gauge any thoughts she might be having to deal with the escalating situation. He expected a smile or an eye roll at the current scene, but then he saw the confused look on her face. For a moment he wondered if she'd forgotten about what little they remembered about Vegas. She raised a brow at him as she glanced over and waved a hand towards Stoppable. Drakken's eyes shot open as it clicked.
"How do you know about the wedding?" asked Drakken.
They had never told anyone about that, let alone Stoppable. He glanced at Possible, who shared the same expression of question he knew was on his own. He tried to pull any memory of an interaction that he might have said something or hinted at that whole situation. It was a short lived memory flash as he didn't exactly think about his cousin's life or antics any given day. So there was no way he had ever eluded to a trip he cared not to remember.
Not that I even fully can—
"Oh god... Russell." Shego's eyes shot open and for the life of him Drakken had no idea what she was talking about. "The tape. You know, the missing one that we couldn't find? The car we thought we... But was signed... Oh. So many things are coming back now."
"The tape—" Drakken looked at Stoppable. His eyes shot open. "Oh no."
"Why is everyone gathering in the kitchen?" came the voice of Ed's gram as she wobbled through the full doorway of people, "Michael needs his bottle."
"Of course he does," groaned Nana Lois. She looked at Ed and Misty, "Stripper or not, at least someone's actively trying to carry on a family line around here. Sad it's yours, Beatrice."
"What was that Lois?" asked Ed's gram.
"Okay, there are a lot of questions and concerns in this kitchen, when the only one there should be today...is when the turkey is done, and... Drew you didn't finish trimming the fat off the gizzards yet?" Estelle scoffed as she approached Drakken.
"I... This... I'm sorry," sighed Drakken as he rubbed his face in frustration. He froze at the sticky feeling and smell from his gloved hand.
"How does that meat juice smell?" asked Shego with a concerned grimace. She handed him the towel off the handle of the stove.
"Oddly enough, I prefer it to the migraine that's starting," replied Drakken, fighting the urge to gag as he took the towel from her and wiped his face.
"Drew, you talk to your patient about appropriate office hours," said Estelle with a sigh. She looked down at the bowl of gizzards. "I guess I will finish these. Everyone go back to the living room and stop crowding the door. Honestly, such a fire hazard with all of you."
"Eddie, a word," said Michelle, who had yet to stop glaring at her son.
"Sorry, Motor Ed's Mom," said Possible, stopping them from leaving the kitchen. "He took something very valuable and we need it back."
"Tera the stripper is valuable?" asked Betty, who was yanked out by Lydia just as the door swung closed behind the departing crowd.
"I'm still very confused how your patient knows your cousin?" asked Estelle. Drakken felt uncomfortable under the questioning look she gave him. "Drewbie, is there something else going on?"
Possible stepped forward. "Mrs. Lipsky, maybe it's about time someone let you know exactly what—"
Drakken felt a surge of panic rush over him when the teen spoke, as if the migraine and his churning thoughts weren't already enough. What was TERA? How and why had they sent a tape of Ed and Misty's wedding to Possible's idiot? What else had been on that tape? Why had Shego kissed him? Why was he still rubbing his face with the dirty, smelly gloves? He whipped them off and tossed them on the table.
Shego seemed to have a series of her own questions as she acted before Possible could continue or he could lose his cool. She glanced at him as she quickly grabbed Possible's arm.
"All right. Why don't you go get cleaned up? Mama Lipsky, everything's fine. Clearly she forgot her medication. I will handle that. Eddie isn't going anywhere," said Shego as she steered Possible away from Drakken's mom. She looked at Stoppable with a raised brow. "And Dra—Drew, why don't you show him where he can get that stuffing off his pants and have a little chat."
"I don't have—" Stoppable began, but Drakken casually flipped the pan of unfinished stuffing onto him. "Aw, man."
"After the wedding part I destroyed the tape..." Stoppable said. The naked mole rat made a noise. "Okay, Rufus did. I kinda wanted to see what happened after the topless dancers threw rice."
"So that and the lights and music were all you watched," said Drakken, relief sweeping over him.
"Well...yes," cringed Stoppable with a nod.
"...Well I think that was for the best," said Drakken, thankful they'd mostly left the camera tossed around.
"Speaking of 'for the best'? So is Kim supposed to be your patient so your family doesn't know you're a villain? I mean, how does that work? Do none of them follow the news or have television?" asked Stoppable.
"I may have a hired henchman who is located across the street who takes care of any newspaper press… A blocker installed on all her devices that prevent any mention of mine or Shego's name being heard..." Drakken stopped ranting. "It's really none of your business."
"Fair enough. I mean, I don't exactly want my parents to know about me and Hana's monkey ninja powers... Because that's just a lot to unload," Stoppable stopped talking.
Drakken really hadn't been listening either way. He'd been pondering if he should assist his cousin by locking the kid in a closet. Any other time he would, but this was his mother's house and that would not fare well. He needed to figure out a game plan. Maybe Shego already had one. He should probably continue the conversation, distract the side-kick.
"Yes, one would imagine...wait. What—?"
What had he just said?
"Drew Lipsky," Drakken froze as his Nana Lois and Gram Beatrice appeared in the hallway, "Estelle says that young girl is your patient? Apart from the physical fight she had in the dining room with your 'just a friend,' she seems of very sound mind."
"Just a friend?" snorted Stoppable. Drakken shot him a dark look.
"Nana—"
"I'm not as easy to fool as your mother. What are you hiding? You don't come to family functions for years, then both times they show up as well. Beatrice said this one made friends with Micheal last year." Nana Lois seemed to seethe at the idea of anyone befriending Micheal.
"Oh, how is he?" asked Stoppable. Drakken raised a brow at him and shared a concerned look with the mole rat.
"He's fine... Drew, when did you stop wearing glasses?" asked Gram with squinted eyes at them.
"You wore glasses?" questioned Stoppable. Drakken ignored him as the ranting continued.
"Who are these kids, Drew? Where are their parents? If that girl is your patient, shouldn't you be calling her family to let them know she's off her medications or missing? That's what they do at the home. Should be no different," grumbled Nana Lois. She looked at Stoppable. "Well, where are you and your sister's parents?"
"Ew, gross. Ohm. Kim's my girlfriend," said Stoppable quickly. He looked at Drakken for back up.
"You're girlfriend?" asked Drakken in the same snide tone Stoppable had used eluding to his relationship with Shego. "I don't recall. Perhaps you've had too many hits to the head."
"Drew!" snapped Nana Lois, and his questions stopped.
Drakken tried to zone out of the conversation and come up with a new ruse or plan. He was starting to suspect that his mother wasn't buying it anymore. If he was being honest, he didn't even know how many people were just letting her blindly think that. His aunt knew for sure, which meant that others probably did too. His mind was a spinning wall of thoughts, ideas, emotions, and he felt the anger coming back full force. He heard her say something about secrets. She was talking about family. He could tell the truth? That thought alone made him freeze all others.
Tell the truth? What kind of stupid idea is that?
"Do you have some sort of secret family like Eddie's secret wedding?" asked Gram. Nana Lois was about to respond, her brows narrowing at Gram.
"Not exactly," said Drakken quickly. He could allude to working for a government agency and say they were enemy spies.
That would explain henchmen. They could be fellow workers...secret service?
"Not exactly? What's that supposed to mean?" asked Nana Lois. She looked at Stoppable, "What are you hiding and who are these kids?"
"Ohm," Stoppable looked between Drakken and Nana Lois with distrubed eyes.
Drakken glared at him, willing him to make up something believable. He could easily cut this off, but by his grandmother's expression she wasn't going to buy anything he said. Stoppable's eyes narrowed slightly and something about his expression made Drakken take a step back. He was unreadable for a moment, but then a devilish grin flickered across his face. Drakken replayed their conversation and felt his stomach knot.
He glared daggers at the buffoon. True he'd low-key made a crack about getting a hit in the last time Possible and he had crashed the lair, but he did not appreciate the retaliatory look in Stoppable's eyes. Well actually he did, because he too understood the gratification of a petty task complete. Now was not the time to do so however. He did his best to convey murder in his eyes if he dare tell the truth or something worse.
It can't possibly be any worse-
"I'm part of his secret family," said Stoppable. Drakken physically felt every muscle in his body tense.
"Part of his... Drew Lipsky? Have you been avoiding family events because you have some sort of secret love-child?" asked Nana Lois with wide eyes.
"NO!"
"Yes."
This is FAR worse.
"Well which is it?" asked Gram, leaning on Nana's wheelchair versus her walker.
"I... I," Drakken felt like there was a wall closing in around him.
Where is a staircase when you need one?
He glared at Stoppable. There was something satisfying at the look of fear on the side-kick's face. His mole-rat seemed to have hid all together. Stoppable swallowed and held up his hands in a sign of surrender. Drakken felt a moment of relief wash over him as he waited for the buffoon to recant his statement and fix the problem he had just caused. He expected, 'it was a joke' or something along those lines. But of course, things never went that easily for him.
"It's because of my mother he's been avoiding family events and kept me secret," said Stoppable, giving a thumbs-up to Drakken.
I have never hated anyone more than in this second.
"I can't believe you're actually cleaning up," said Kim as she swept up the broken vase.
"Zip it, Pumpkin," snapped Shego as she tossed what was once a dinner plate in a large trash bag.
She glared at the mess she and Kim were cleaning up. She knew she'd started the actual fight, and she was annoyed by that. More annoyed though at having to clean up after it versus kicking Kim into the wall where she'd cleaned the broken vase. Shego smirked at that, but the image changed to Mama Lipsky's horrified face and anger at the destruction of her dining room. An odd feeling swept over her from the recent memory. She didn't like that feeling. Shego touched the pink earrings she wore, a gift from Mama Lipsky no less. The last thing she wanted was to upset the woman who sent her gifts and called her for updates on Drakken.
Drakken.
Shego let her stomach twist and untwist again. She'd kissed him. There had been no accident or any distraction this time. No Mood-u-lator, device, or trick. She had physically kissed him without regard for her actions. She'd blamed it on the drink, and it may have assisted her thought process... And she hoped he'd bought it. She took a deep breath and shook her head at the ceiling. She couldn't even gauge what he may have been thinking due to the arrival of the two teens.
He didn't NOT kiss back. There were just a lot of things happening—
Shego glared at Kim and tossed the trash bag aside.
"So now you're just ruining every Lipsky holiday, are you?" asked Shego as she crossed her arms. "New hobby?"
"Talk to Motor Ed and his new friend...wife?" asked Kim. "Which is a question I have for Ron later. How did he know that?"
"Annulled. They're not married—" Shego was cut off by Kim.
"Listen. Wade says the TERA device is still in the area... Which means Motor Ed hasn't bailed yet. As much as it pains me," Kim took a deep breath, "we'll just grab it and go. It's not exactly hard to find Motor Ed."
"I think he does his best to be obnoxious," nodded Shego. "You tracked the device here?"
"It's got a tracer attached to it just in case it was ever stolen. However nice it is for tracking TERA...it raises a lot of questions," said Kim as she dusted the buffet table for any more porcelain remnants.
"What the hell is this TERA?" asked Shego, her brows furrowed. "Let's be clear Kimmy. The only reason we're not flying off with whatever that thing is and those two idiots is because this is a family gathering. Otherwise, we'd be long gone by now."
"Understood." Shego didn't like the smirk on Kim's face. "So...you go to a lot of Drakken's…family gatherings?"
"What are you implying?" snapped Shego. She could shoot a blast and miss the picture frame behind Kim if the teen ducked.
"Nothing. Ron comes to most of mine. No big," shrugged Kim. Shego went back to grabbing things.
"That's what I thought," mumbled Shego.
"I mean," Shego glared at Kim's smug voice, "Ron IS my boyfriend, so..."
"Hold it right there. When it comes to me and Dr. D, he is—" Shego's rebuttal was cut off by Ron sprinting into the room and past her.
"Kim!" he ducked behind her with lightning speed.
"Now what," sighed Shego as she expected something dangerous to come through the doorway.
"You," Drakken growled in the door-frame.
Shego's eyes shot open at the look of rage on Drakken's face. He'd only ever looked this angry when she'd lost his body. She had a slight urge to chuckle at the memory of puppet-Drakken, but she shoved it aside fast as she stepped out of the way while the real thing stomped towards where Ron hid behind Kim. Kim took a defensive stance and instinctively Shego did the same next to Drakken. She for sure could kick the cheerleader through the next doorway at this angle. Right into the living room.
"I'm sorry! I don't know why I said that," said Ron. Shego saw Kim glance in confusion but not lessen her stance.
"To further irk me into rage... Petty vengeance for punching you in the face when you dropped into our lair... A crude poke at how little I care to remember your name... The stuffing perhaps!?" Drakken was ranting.
"Is there a point to making this point for him?" snapped Shego. He was making a good case for the kid.
"Regardless, that was uncalled for!" hissed Drakken. Shego dropped her stance a little, trying to imagine what could have possibly been said.
"Ron. What did you do?" asked Kim. Ron seemed to relax a little.
"You know...those were all very valid reasons for me to have made it even worse than I did." Ron crossed his arms. "Not to mention all the times you've kicked me off things when I tried to stop your escape AND—"
"Ron," sighed Kim, "what did you do?"
"Drewbie?" came Estelle's voice, and they all turned.
"'Drewbie'?" smirked Ron, registering the nickname for the first time. Shego watched Drakken glare.
"Cute, right?" smirked Shego.
"Can it She-She," hissed Drakken. Shego's eyes shot open.
"How the hell...? I'm going to kill Mego," Shego said with a glare.
"'She-She'," she heard Kim giggle.
"You want to go there... Bubble Butt?" retorted Shego. Kim's smile fell and Ron looked confused.
"Aww... I wish I had an embarrassing childhood nickname," muttered Ron under his breath. Shego saw Drakken's evil smirk flicker across his lips before he smiled as Estelle walked in.
"What is going on Drew Lipsky?" said Estelle, "Your grandmother is telling everyone this friend of your patient's—"
"Boyfriend," said Ron and Kim at the same time.
"This boyfriend of your patient... Oh, you two are cute together," she gave an affectionate smile before her serious one returned. "That he is apparently your secret love-child with some bank executive or some nonsense."
"Did I say that? I meant ohm...scientist," said Ron.
Shego's stance fell all together as her lip quivered fighting the laugh that was attempting to break free. She must have made some sort of sound because Estelle looked at her. She glanced back at the teen heroes. Ron shrugged at Kim who looked as disturbed as Drakken. She looked up at Drakken again. Yes, she definitely had let out an audible sound because he was shooting daggers at her.
"Mother, he is not—" Drakken was cut off as Estelle held up her hands.
"I know he is not, Drewbie. But now your grandmother thinks he is." She looked at all of them with questioning eyes. "I'm not sure what's going on and I want an answer before you leave here tonight. Is that understood, Drew, Shego?"
"Me?" Shego's smile fell, and Estelle nodded. "Why me?"
"Mother, this is all just a huge misunderstanding—"
"Have you seen Eddie?" asked Gram through the living room entrance door behind Kim.
"I think he and that girl took off," sighed Estelle.
"Looks like we're out of here," said Kim. "Sorry again about the vase Mrs. Lipsky. I'll have that replaced. Promise."
"You're leaving?" Nana Lois blocked the exit now having used her wheelchair to bump Gram out of sight. "Now? You just got here and I haven't even got to know you yet."
"Nana, he has to go...because of...his...mother." Shego watched Drakken's confused exchange between he and Ron.
"She's very controlling," Ron made the exact same gesture. In that moment Shego questioned the similarity between the two.
"Poppycock," said Nana Lois with a sad expression. "She can deal with me then. I finally have a great-grandchild and I would like to get to know him."
"It's a very big legal thing..." Drakken looked at Shego. Shego shrugged.
"We really...have to go," said Kim. She glanced at Ron who nodded but said nothing.
"This may be my last Thanksgiving and I would be denied getting to know the one tiny beacon of hope that has been bestowed on me in my dark dismal life in decades?" said Nana Lois with all the flair and dramatics Shego had ever seen.
"Wow," mouthed Shego to Drakken.
"You have no idea," whispered Drakken with all the anguish that made clear his childhood had been filled with Nana Lois meltdowns.
"Can't you at least stay for dinner?" Nana Lois grabbed Ron's hand who was not taking in the expression of Kim who was shaking her head.
Nor Drakken whose hand was grasping a nearby surviving vase. Shego glanced at Estelle, who was leaning against the door-frame looking upwards, apparently praying. Shego glanced around the room again and saw Drakken's cousin Lydia in the distance through the doorway, flanked by Stephan and Stephanie, clearly recording the whole thing on a dated cam-corder. Shego covered her mouth and tried to stop the laughter from bubbling over beyond silent shakes.
"Of course we will, Nana," said Ron as he hugged the elderly women.
Shego lost it. She gave a loud snort as she covered her mouth. Tears of laughter formed as she took in the changing expressions around the room. Ron was joyfully hugging Nana Lois who was actually grinning with delight. Estelle threw her arms up and had walked off presumably to the kitchen. Kim was looking at Ron with a mixture of anger, understanding, and pure agitation. And Drakken... Drakken had gone from glaring at the situation in front of them to daggers at her.
"Shego," he hissed. It egged on her laughter even more.
"A little help, please," came the voice of Gram from beyond the doorway. Kim jumped over Ron and Nana Lois to help the woman still on the ground.
"Shego, can I get your help in here, please?" came Estelle's voice.
Shego hurried away as Drakken continued to glare at her laughter.
I hope I can get a copy of that video.
–
Drakken glared as Shego sprinted off. She may have found this nightmare of an evening amusing. He did not. He looked at Stoppable hugging his Nana Lois and fought the urge to hit him in the head with the vase he was clutching. However as it shattered in his hand, that became unlikely. The sound seemed to sober up the young idiot as he shot straight up and looked around the room. Apparently he hadn't noticed Possible vanish nor Shego's departure.
Like Shego would ever help him?
He walked over towards them and the side-kick stepped back into the buffet table that still had some dusty remnants of porcelain. He jumped a little as Nana Lois grabbed his arm as soon as he was in distance. He forced his rage aside at how pleased she looked in the moment. He supposed there would be no harm, save for his own mental state, to pretend for an evening. She was getting older and weaker and... All right, one forced evening of pleasantry wouldn't kill him. He'd done it dozens of times before.
"Oh Drew, this is the best news I could have gotten today. Finally something to be thankful for... I can't wait to get to know...what's your name dear?" she looked at the buffoon with wide eager eyes.
"Oh, my name," Stoppable eyes darted at him and that flash of deviousness returned. "Why don't you tell her my name...Dad."
Drakken felt his eye twitch and he mustered every inch of his self-control to not deck the kid right there. He didn't know what triggered it. The barb about not remembering his name and the whole petty feud about it...or that word. Dad. He had a horrible flashback to the Lil Diablo's incident. He felt his chest tighten and his stomach knot. He'd shoved that whole thing from his mind and he wasn't about to delve into that emotional whirlwind. But something told him he wasn't getting off that easy with that memory tonight.
"Drew?" asked Nana Lois with bright eyes. Drakken smiled at her and swallowed hard.
"Nana, this is..." he looked at Possible's side kick and sighed, "Ron."
"Yes!" Drakken heard Stoppable whisper under his breath.
"Well, let's get to know each other Ron. You can sit by Nana at dinner," said Nana Lois with a cheerful grin as she turned to head to the living room. "It will give us time to get to know each other and find out what else Drew has been hiding."
"Sounds great—" Stoppable called after Nana Lois before Drakken lunged towards him. "Eeee! Kim!"
"Ron!" Nana Lois turned around in her wheelchair.
Drakken panicked and quickly wrapped his arm around Ron's shoulder. They both turned and grinned at Nana Lois, his grip tightening as Ron tried to step away. Kim appeared from wherever she was had been previously and Drakken kept the forced grin on his face. Nana Lois seemed un-phased by any of their expressions.
Thank god for her failing vision.
"Would you mind helping me with my chair, dear?" grinned Nana. Drakken's grip on Ron's sleeve tightened.
"Of course," said Stoppable. Drakken tightened his grip again. "Would you mind...Dad?"
"Not at all," Drakken reluctantly relaxed his grip, "Buffoon."
"Baboon? Oh, what a cute nickname," grinned Nana Lois. Drakken was about to correct it, but Stoppable looked livid.
"Yes. Baboon," Drakken grinned evilly. "Everyone has a little embarrassing childhood nickname, after all."
"But why does it have to be monkeys?" hissed Stoppable.
"Stay clear of any stairwells or you'd better hope you have monkey landing skills," whispered Drakken as Ron darted out of his grip.
"This is going to be a great dinner."
Drakken jumped as Shego's voice sounded beside him.
"You're loving this," said Drakken with a sigh. Shego smirked.
"Doy. Also, your aunt took her bike and made Motor Ed get back here," stated Shego. She patted his shoulder. "Now your mother would like your assistance in getting the turkey out of the oven."
"Why can't you?" asked Drakken in confusion.
"I have been asked to check on Micheal," said Shego as she walked towards the living room smugly.
"He is a dead pig," hissed Drakken. Shego waved as she disappeared through the doorway, Possible soon appearing in her place. "I am the sanest one in this house."
"As terrifying as that statement is... Yeah...yeah you are," said Possible as they both looked out into the living room.
Dinner Awaits →