Pieces

Tori

By March Jade and I had gotten so much closer. She was more touchy with me. Like at first she pulled back, as if her telling me she was attracted to women would make me uncomfortable. What it did was confuse me, and made me wonder if I was also attracted to women. I had played her girlfriend for almost ten years. I thought she was attractive, and I really liked kissing her. Can I say she turned me on?

Sure, because look at her.

After she told me the first week she stayed with me every night for a week, each day getting more and more intimate. On the seventh night she went to stay with Beck, and for sixteen hours, she didn't leave him. I counted, because I missed her.

I went to knock on her door, and I heard things that squeezed my insides.

That night She came back to me freshly showered and completely unwound.

I sat with Miri at our dining room table, one morning after one of her binges. "I mean everyone I want at the wedding is already here, and it's the same for him too." Miri was saying.

I was distracted by the woman's entrance. She smiled and handed me a screenplay. "For the reading in june." Jade said.

"Everyone is on board then?" I asked, smiling down at the stack of papers.

"Yup," Jade said.

"Mom…" Miri said and I looked back at her. She was looking between Jade and I "Were you gonna help me with this?"

"Yeah," I said and Jade dropped down on the chair next to me.

"Why do you need name cards for tables in the back yard?" Jade asked. "It's just our bubble."

"I want it to look like a wedding. Even if it is just us." Miri said, she seemed a little hostile toward Jade.

Jade sat back and regarded the little girl she has known since birth. "Do you have a problem with me?"

"What do you want with my mother?" Miri asked.

"Whoa…" I stated and stared at my kid. "Where is this coming from?"

"Jordan told me your marriage is open. My mom is not a side piece Aunt Jade."

"I'm not any piece." I protested.

"Just because you don't have a piece for yourself in this bubble does not give you permission to mac on my mom." I stare wide eyed. "I see how you look at her. I mean right now, you are sitting as close to her as you can without sitting on her lap. My mom just lost her husband and is pregnant, she doesn't need you confusing her."

"Miri Elizabeth!" I stated, and looked at Jade when she put a hand on my thigh.

"Every relationship is different." Jade stated and stood up. "I love you Miri, and if there was ever anything I wanted to do with your mother, it would have to be between she and I. I don't have to ask your or anyone else's permission."

"My mom's not gay, Jade."

I sighed and put my head in my hands.

Jade stood up and squeezed my shoulder. "I'll see you later."

I nodded and turned to my daughter. "Your father is dead."

"I know Mami," Miri said.

"No, listen… do you remember what your father and I used to do every night when we lounged around in the living room?"

"Yes, you guys would talk for hours." she said with a small smile. "Jordan and I do that."

"He's your best friend." I said softly.

"Now imagine if Jordan couldn't talk to you anymore." I asked. "How would he feel?" My daughter tilted her head. "Would you want him to live his life with this void of pain with no one to talk to about what was happening with him? No one to hold him at night in his loneliness. Now imagine it was you, a woman and emotional because she is full of pregnancy hormones… fully on the brink of a chemical depression."

She sat back and looked at me as if just now understanding that I was not okay. "Mom…"

"Jade, has been the only one to fill in the gap. Your daddy didn't want me to be alone ever." I said. "He always wanted me to be happy. Jade… makes me happy." That was the first time I spoke the words to anyone besides Andre. "There is nothing sexual between she and I, and even if there was… That's none of your business."

She shook her head. 'I'm sorry."

"On top of that, Miri, she is the mother of your husband-to-be, and grandmother to your child… you need her. Go apologize." I said, and my daughter actually got up from the table to find Jade.

"Well said," Mom said, coming into the kitchen.

"Hey," I said and sighed, sitting back in my seat.

"Tell me… Is there something to what Miri is saying? Do you have feelings for Jade?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"All I can say, is that Jade loves you… I can see it in the way she looks at you and she isn't doing a good job at keeping it secret. We all see it."

"Really?" I asked.

"Don't hurt her."

I sighed, as mom went on to making herself lunch. Just like old times. I laughed and got up from the table. "I'm going to go read this screenplay again by the pool."

"Okay, baby."

Jade

Miri came up to me in my office. I was surprised, she had been avoiding me. All of the Kids have talked to me about this. Mine and hers. They all know, they can see it, which is why I didn't say anything when she sat across from me. Because the only person that doesn't seem to understand how I feel is Tori.

It took Miri a long time to say anything. She sat in my visitors chair looking me over. "You Love her, You would leave Uncle Beck for her," She accused.

I looked at Miri and I wasn't sure if she required me to say it. Or even acknowledge what she had said so I waited for her to get to her point.

Miri shook her head and swallowed. "Beck would never leave you for Helena… This is not an open relationship, it's ending!" and she is the only one that has put that together. Beck still does not see it. "Why are you holding on?"

I paused, choosing my words. "I love him, and Your mom…" I stopped and looked over to a picture of all of us. "Your mom needs to be ready. It's too soon."

"I was right…" She whispered to herself. "Well I'm sorry for outing you like that. If she isn't ready you shouldn't be putting yourself in a position where you will be hurt. I love you and Uncle Beck a lot. Almost as much as mom and dad, and I can't stand by and watch you hurt yourself."

"I can't help it." I answered. "I need to be with her. Just like She needs me."

"And Beck?" she asked.

I sighed because I don't have any of that figured out. "I don't know."

"Thank you for being there for her." Miri said. "Please take care of yourself." Then she stood up and walked out of my office.

I don't know how long I sat there before I felt a presence in my visitor's chair. "I'm doing an online memorial concert, so the fans can say goodbye to Andre… We have some masters with only his vocals on it and thought we could finish the songs and put the album out."

I turned to face Tori. "That's a massive Idea." I stated.

"I have the time to do it before the twins are here, and I've been moping around for three months. I only have three three months left."

"I'll help you." I stated.

"No offense, you have three projects on your plate." She said. "Cat can help, but thanks for the offer."

I watched Tori. "Is that all you wanted to say to me?" I knew better than to dismiss this as just that. There is more or she wouldn't have bothered coming to my office and would have told me in bed.

"I think that maybe you shouldn't sleep in my bed with me anymore. " She said and my heart stopped. "I love you in my bed, but if it is hurting you, I can't put you through that."

"I Need… I need to make sure you are okay." please tori I need to be with you. I was dying a little bit inside.

"I don't want you to resent me." Tori said. "I'm heart broken, I can't break yours too and everyone is telling me you love me… that you're in love with me and I can't even get my head out of my ass to see how much this is hurting you because I am selfishly clinging."

I was gutted, but I nodded. I didn't trust myself enough to speak. Then she left my office, and my heart was in pieces.

I needed to get out of the bubble. So I looked for the safest way to do it. I reached out and picked up my phone. "Keri, did we get a good remote location?"

"Yeah, it would be just you, and three camera crew."

I nodded. "When can I make that happen?"

"Two weeks?"

"Perfect." I stated and hung up. Then I got up and walked toward the room where Beck had his office. I knocked, and he opened the door. He looked at me and hugged me, held me close.

"Let's talk about it." I nodded and stepped inside.