A/N: Depression is a bitch on wheels. I'm functional and hopefully coming out of something. I hit a bit of crisis, but nothing super critical, no ideation or anything like that. Just had absolutely no desire to do anything I loved. I broke down and cried this morning though. super emotional and thinking that I have been assisting my life and potential I am nowhere near where I thought I would be now. and probably will never be. But I need to find my way to living again. I hope you are well, I am just letting you know I am alive still. Thank you for your reviews for those that are reading. It does help me to see that you are enjoying my work. ~SK
Protests
Tori
Miri, Sirrah, and I sat at the kitchen table watching a man named George die. My eyes darkened at the sight. As a person of color, I identify, but I really don't understand because I am white-passing. Beck wrapped his arms around my girls. And everyone else in the house just really didn't know what to say.
Three days later, protests downtown were happening. Sirrah and Miri came up to me. "We want to go support Black lives."
I looked at my pregnant daughter, and my famous teenager like they were crazy. "So do I, do you think that's a good idea for me?"
"Mom, of course not, I mean you're pregnant!" Sirrah said.
I turned to Miri. "Am I really? I mean if the babies are born today, they'd be fine."
"Mom, "Miri said with a sigh. "You're famous and…"
I looked at Sirrah, "Yeah… I am.." Sirrah groans.
"I'm Young though!" She said.
"Yeah, you are, too young to be out there. Miri, Sirrah I don't mind. But you saw what happened to protesters yesterday!" I said angrily. "It's all peaceful until the police show up!"
"Fine, I get why Miri should stay home, but can I go with Harry or Jordan or both of them?" Sirrah reasoned.
I breathed in thinking about how I would love for Andre to be here for this. "Are you volunteering them?"
"Jordan was going to go with me," Miri said, "But then backed out when he saw the tear gas stuff. He didn't want me there. But that dangerous stuff doesn't happen til sundown, we should be back before the sun goes down."
"Miri, there's a pandemic!" I screamed. "You're pregnant! Think about your kid a moment."
She blinked and sat down."I get it, fine!"
"Here's the thing," I stated. If you wouldn't be comfortable for me to go… at this point in both of your lives, You my famous little one, and you my pregnant little one, have the same problems I have. We can support in other ways. Sirrah This family has a platform. It's huge and we can speak out. TikTok, instagram, whatever. And Miri, we can put in the money. Flex your creativity You're a director… make something. This is not the time to join in that, the way the authorities are standing against the people is unconscionable."
Just then Jade walked out of her office and she looked at me and the girls looking devastated. She hadn't talked to me in a few days. I don't think she knows just what to say. She took a deep breath and came closer to the three of us. "What happened to Mr. Floyd … and not only him, but Amahd, and Breyonna and countless other black faces that have been falling to these people that are supposed to protect us all. It's unconscionable and disgusting. I am not gonna pretend to understand the prosecution, but I can be angry right along with you."
"Tori I will take Sirrah to a march. I will keep her safe." She said directly to me.
Sirrah smiled and jumped out of her seat and hugged Jade. "Can she Mom?"
I took a breath. "Fine, but use your platform." She smiled and hugged me in turn. "I will thanks, Mom." She went to get her stuff.
Jade turned to us again. "Sorry, Miri." She told my daughter. "Your mom's right."
"Yeah I know, Jordan wouldn't have wanted me to go anyway.. I'll go create something. It does help with my rage."
Jade sighed and sat next to me as Miri walked out to the guest house."I've been in my room the last two nights missing you so badly, but I didn't know what to say to anyone. I was feeling guilty. Even though I know I am not the person that has killed these people, I don't know how to identify with our kids. I guess my kids don't really look too brown, but they are, and yours are, and I was ashamed that I didn't understand."
I took her hand in mine. "I missed you in my bed, but there are things you can do to make things better, other than stay away from it. Like take a look at the things Miri does, open up opportunities for people of that community. There are a lot of creative people that could make great things."
Jade nodded, then leaned forward to kiss me just as Sirrah began to descend the stairs. "Aunt Jade, I'm ready."
She moved away from me and turned to look at my daughter. "Okay, let's go." She said and moved to get her keys and walked out of the house with my little girl.
Jade
I was walking the streets with Sirrah, two very famous faces behind a mask. No one knew who we were and it was kinda nice to walk and support and shout all of our rage and not be looked at.
"Mommy, look!" I heard a little girl to my right. I looked over and she was pointing at Sirrah. "It's cee- cee"
Oh god," I said, as Sirrah hadn't heard that.
"What's up?" Sirrah asked.
"Let's go blend a little," I said as we kept moving forward.
"Someone recognize you?' Sirrah asked with a chuckle.
"Worse," I answered. "She recognized you."
Sirrah looked back but we were far beyond where the little girl and her mother were. "I wouldn't have minded," she said.
"Um. yeah, you would have. If you stop now and take a selfie, You have to take off your mask and then you're mobbed. I know we are supposed to keep our distance, but for some reason, people think that we aren't human and will not catch their germs."
I found a place where they were handing out water. I pulled out my wallet, I had some cash in it. I pulled out a bill not sure how big and I handed it to the person handing out water. "Oh no, I'm not selling it." The girl said.
"Oh I know, this is just in case you run out and need to buy more," I answered. "We're all in this together."
"Thanks," She said with a smile, then she handed me some sunblock. "You look like you're burning Ms. West."
I smiled, Thanks." I said. Sirrah laughed.
"You're wearing a mask and sunglasses."
"I know," I said with a smirk and turned around and began to put the sunblock on my face and arms. I reached for a pen I always carried around. I wrote a note on the label and then handed it back to the girl. Have a great day.
The girl smiled and put it in her back pocket as Sirrah and I walked away. "Aunt Jade?" Sirrah said softly after a few moments of marching and chanting.
"Yeah, trouble?" I responded calling her the nickname I had come up with for her. Sirrah was a surprise, not as big as Miri, but a surprise nonetheless. I took a sip of my water.
"Are you cheating on Uncle Beck with my mom?" She asked.
I split out my water. I guess not telling the girl about my marital status had been a mistake. "Uh, no."
"I saw you kiss her earlier." She stated.
"Beck and I," I said looking around embarrassed, "we date other people."
She breathed out in relief. "Thank god, I saw Uncle Beck leaving Helena's cabin and thought I had to break your heart. So when I saw you kissing Mom, I thought that if I told you about Helena it wouldn't bother you. But you already knew."
Oh, brother.
Then I saw it happening. Some white guy saw the police, and he threw his bottled water at them. Then all hell broke loose. There were rubber bullets and tear gas, and I grabbed Sirrah and ran as fast as I could back to the car. I had promised her mother she wouldn't be harmed.
"Hang on to me Sirrah," I stated and we ran, my mask falling off my face. It didn't matter no one was watching, just trying to get away without getting hurt.
Finally, we reached my car and we stayed in it as people flooded the streets around us. I started up the truck. And pulled out carefully. Sirrah and I didn't talk for a while. It was horrific and I frankly didn't know what to say. "Aunt Jade?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for bringing me," Sirrah said quietly. "It meant a lot to me."
I smiled at her. "You're welcome, Trouble."