Unfriendly
Shego tossed the newspaper in the trash, the article on Dementor having been already cut out and apparently saved for later mocking. The article on the back had been interesting but not enough to ask Drakken for the scrap back to complete. She nearly slipped on the sleek floor as she turned sharply. She let out a loud sigh as she regained her footing.
"What?" came the garbled voice of Drakken at his desk.
She gestured to the floor, which simply earned a shrug as he went back to his current project.
Shego looked over at him surrounded by a series of items he'd dug out of the storage room. He'd been happily humming in his sorting while munching on crackers for so long that it had become white noise to her. The boxes scattered around him were marked crudely with 'Toss,' 'Keep,' and '?.' Shego walked over towards the assortment of smaller things he'd yet to sort. She picked up a small black box.
"What is this?" asked Shego. It was in the question mark box.
"A piece of garbage mostly. It was part of a voice disrupter from years ago. I forgot I had it; stopped working, but I kept it around for the core. Very hard to come by," shrugged Drakken. He tossed a folder in the 'Toss' box.
"So these boxes are stuff from your earlier lamer years?" smirked Shego. She held up a wallet covered in dust. "Does this have embossing on it? 'Drew Lipsky.'"
She snorted before it was snatched from her hand and tossed back in the box she'd taken it out of. Drakken went back to digging in his unsorted box. She slipped slightly on the ground again and remembered her earlier annoyance.
"Geesh. Did they have to use so much wax? It's been two days and it's still a hazard...and a waste of money," she muttered. Drakken sighed this time.
"Shego. There was algae on the stairs—"
"We hired Hector back—"
"Something was growing in the lab—"
"He has his hench-maids—"
"Shego! You agreed to it, you can't keep skulking at it," snapped Drakken.
"Who's skulking?" shrugged Shego. "Hey, you chose to waste your allotted funds on the floor...have at it."
Drakken raised his brow.
"My allotted what now?" glared Drakken.
Shego shrugged and gave him an amused smirk.
"Well, seeing as I got the majority of the funds this time... You have a habit of spending money on things we don't need..." Drakken opened his mouth, but, "Moon laser."
"That was years ago Shego! You can't keep using that as an example," grumbled Drakken.
"I just think the funds should be kept for villainy and paying the henchmen... I told you this when we got back from your little train crash of a plan," finished Shego. "You wanted to do the floors...I want a hot tub. You made your choice."
"Shego, that's not fair," whined Drakken. "I did that for the lair...in which villainy occurs... The base of our evil empire to be."
"Ehk," scoffed Shego. "How about our base be someplace nice...like the tropics...or Greece. Greece would be nice."
Drakken seemed to pause in thought.
"I'm not really a fan of Greece." He shrugged and went back to his boxes.
"Are you kidding?" scoffed Shego. "Clearly you just need to go there with me. There's nothing not to be a fan of. The food, the art, the beaches—"
A pounding came at the lair entrance as the alarm sounded. Drakken and Shego both stared at the entrance and then slowly turned to each other.
"So we spent money on floors but not a better alarm timing sensor?" sighed Shego. Drakken's confused look at the sound turned to annoyance at her.
"Well maybe if I was alloted more funds we could remedy that," grumbled Drakken.
Neither of them moved and Shego scoffed as she leaned over Drakken's desk to hit the camera button.
"Because that was too much effort for you there, Doc?" she muttered. Drakken rolled his eyes and got up and headed towards the door.
"Who is it?" he asked Shego. The button on Drakken's desk hadn't worked, leaving her to walk the distance to the cameras.
Another thing that should have been fixed before floors...
"Well I don't know Doc. Kind of another problem with our lair... Everyone and your mother knows where we are," sighed Shego as the front door image appeared onscreen.
A tall thin figure clad in metallic armor stood in frame. Sharp angles on the armor were an attempt at a feminine robotic form that looked like something out of a Ben Tilton film. The figure's arms were crossed and it was tapping its toe. Its blank white porcelain doll-looking face was locked in a frozen mask of annoyance. Shego covered Drakken's mouth as he went to inquire who it was, practically dragging him with her. Her foot reached for the light switch as she prevented him from talking.
"It's Protonia," hissed Shego. "Quick. Pretend we're not here...we need to hide."
Shego shoved him blindly towards the hallway as she darted to activate the door shield as a precaution, hoping that it was still working. She clicked it. Nothing. She shot a glare at Drakken who looked slightly flustered as he looked at the screen.
"That's Protonia?" he asked casually.
"Doy...you said you met her," scoffed Shego. She hushed him as another pounding came.
"I know you have my invention and I am not leaving without it!" came an agitated female voice from behind the porcelain unmoving mask on the screen.
"Yes...well when I met her it was under very different circumstances," he grumbled. "Is that robotic armor?"
"Uh, yeah...I think... Where is our defense system...? Can the hover car outrun her? Did you switch out the throttle like you said?" hissed Shego. Drakken shook his head, and Shego scoffed. "What isn't broken in this place?"
"Your attitude," he muttered before walking towards the door.
"Drakken," hissed Shego, "may I remind you...her and my last encounter ended with her blasting me with a giant missile-launching laser."
"Yes. And mine ended with me climbing out of a vehicle window and running down an alleyway... We all have our pasts." Drakken put on a bright smile as he opened the door. "Ah, Protonia, right? To what do I owe this visit?"
Drakken let the ice pack over his eye fall to the ground as he looked at the ceiling of his lab. He heard footsteps, and Shego's face loomed over him as she crouched down, pulling the ice pack away from his face slowly to look at his eye. She cringed.
"Come to hit me in the other one?" sneered Drakken. He turned away from her and swatted at her hand.
"Hey. It was an accident," she snapped. "Next time don't get in the way of a fight."
"There was no reason for the fight," he glared back at her. His eye twinged in pain. "We were having a lovely conversation."
"She was insulting you, but you were too enamored with her armor to hear it," Shego growled and stood up. "Or were you just enamored with batting eyelashes?"
"Hardly," grumbled Drakken as he sat up. His head throbbed. "The only reason I...as she said...propositioned her last time was because I thought she was Hector's sister at a Valentine's party you made me go to... Remember?!"
"Oh yeah... The one where you orchestrated an escape plan to go work on a plan in secret...without me," scoffed Shego.
Drakken stared at her. He knew he should stop the argument, because he would be the one to lose it...but he continued instead of listening to the logic in his head.
"It wasn't that secret. The henchmen knew," stated Drakken. Shego's expression was blank. "That was not the right thing to say, was it?"
"You think?" said Shego. An emotion ghosted over her face. "Whatever. It's late—"
"It's five," cut in Drakken. Shego crossed her arms.
"And?" asked Shego. "I'm going out... Have fun sorting your boxes."
"I will!" snapped Drakken as she headed down the hallway.
Why did I do that?
Drakken had immediate regrets as she vanished in the darkened hall. He told himself to apologize for continuing to escalate a touchy subject. Instead he flopped back on the ground as his head throbbed. His mind played back to the first time he'd met Protonia, or Shay as she had called herself... A very awkward and regrettable evening for sure. It had been his major step in the Li'l Diablo catastrophe...which had put a very sour note in his and Shego's dynamic for months.
He knew he shouldn't have opened the door to let Protonia in, but there was a part of him that wanted to get slight revenge on Shego for letting Lucre in months ago when he'd not wanted her to. He hadn't expected the scientist's very advanced suit, or her flirty behavior. He knew he should have, given the last interaction they'd had...but it had all been innocent... Okay, so he flirted a little to see if she might help fix what he had broken on her device... A 'friendly collaboration.'
Even if I was... It's no business of Shego's!
"She did fire lasers at her," Drakken grumbled to himself.
Drakken tried to recall the conversation. Had Protonia been insulting him? She'd called his work simple, interesting, and comically devious. Drakken glared.
"She was insulting me," scoffed Drakken.
"You think!" Shego's voice made him jump.
He turned his head to see Shego had returned and was sitting at his lab table and glaring at the partially-melted laser.
"I mean...look what she did to the laser," glared Shego. "That was intentional. That blast was nowhere near me."
Drakken let his head roll to look at it. He wanted to be angry, furious even...but he felt nothing. He'd be lying if all the problems arising because of his ill-fated device hadn't soured the whole thing. He'd been avoiding it since they'd gotten back from Tibet. He'd focused on organizing and cleaning...and...anything but working on it. He'd even tried to go back to mind control...just to avoid it. He felt...relief at seeing its melted metallic carcass.
"It was a horrible idea anyway," sighed Drakken. He sat up again and turned to Shego.
"Why was it horrible?" Her brow furrowed. "You loved that idea... It was your invention."
"I have more," he shrugged. His eyes shot open. "I know you went through great effort for those parts and I appreciate—"
"Yes, you have more...but a lot of them aren't very good and kind of pathetic," glared Shego. Drakken felt the sting in his chest at her words. She continued. "Some border on idiotic."
"Well if they're so mundane and ill-conceived...then why do you even want to be my partner?" snapped Drakken. "You don't make sense Shego. One moment you think I'm brilliant...the next you act like I'm an idiot. Well which is it?"
Shego stared at him far too long for his liking before she looked away and picked up some scrap papers.
"Why does it matter what I think? You're the mad genius," grumbled Shego. "Don't let me interrupt your life-long goals... Excuse me for trying to help."
Drakken couldn't place the tone in her voice. He got up with a slight head rush and stumbled slightly to the lab table.
"Sometimes," hissed Drakken, "it's nice to not be my only supporter... But you're right, it shouldn't matter."
Drakken straightened his shoulders, ignoring the internal argument he was playing out between them in his head. He wasn't really winning that one, so he wasn't about to bring it to the real Shego. He looked over her head and around his lair. Carved-over burn marks, a shiny slicked floor...which had probably aided in him getting in the way of the fight... He actually hadn't meant to look as if he was trying to stop it while trying to hide. People dropping in, malfunctioning parts, a musty smell still in the air... It was...it was home. But too many visitors wore out the welcome.
"Pack your things," sighed Drakken as he turned to walk down the hall.
"Excuse me?" Shego's voice was barely audible, it was so soft and fast. "Did— Are— What?"
"I said...pack your things." Drakken rolled his eyes as he walked down the hallway.
Drakken was halfway to his room, wondering how many listings were available... They had the island lair, but it was in need of cleaning. He'd much rather it be move-in and lab ready. It was also a matter of budget. There would need to be a definite downsize...even if he did get what he'd paid for this lair...or half hopefully. He supposed he could sway Shego with her new hold on their budget. He glared at that, but he couldn't really blame her. His many musings were cut off as a hand gripped his shoulder and pulled him around. He yelped out of shock but calmed when he saw Shego's face.
"Shego, why aren't you packing?" asked Drakken. Shego's expression was unreadable, but her jaw was twitching.
"You're joking, right?" scoffed Shego. "This is a joke to try and push my buttons?"
"No. It's not a joke," Drakken was confused now. "You're the one who implied it."
Shego raised a brow and he slowly continued.
"You said that everyone knows where we are...and point proven...that if we take over...this probably shouldn't be our empire—" Drakken stopped talking and his eyes shot open. "Did you think I was asking you to leave?"
Shego shoved him and shook her head.
"We are in the middle of an argument and then you tell me to go pack," groaned Shego. "Do you even follow conversation flows? Don't answer that, I should have known already."
Drakken rubbed his already aching head in frustration.
"Does it look like I have a death wish?" smirked Drakken. "I may be petty but you are vindictive. We both know that if we ended our partnership at this point...we would dedicate our lives to foiling the other."
Shego snorted.
"Oh yeah," she nodded. "I spent the last ten seconds thinking of how to burn this whole place to the ground as quickly as possible."
"Was I in it?" asked Drakken as they continued walking the rest of the way down the hall.
"Obviously not... You were tied up outside watching it burn," scoffed Shego.
"Ah yes...torture is best," he nodded. "You do realize we have to downsize, right?"
"So long as I get my hot tub and a bigger closet than yours...I'll live," sighed Shego. Drakken glared at her.
"My closet now...or at the new lair?" asked Drakken. Shego shrugged, and he glared. "You are not getting a bigger closet than me."
"You barely wear clothes besides your lab coat... Why do you have so many?" responded Shego. "I have seen you wear...maybe...three feet of what's in that thing...in three years."
"I'll have you know...when you are out with Junior and others I wear different attire," grumbled Drakken.
"Jammies don't count," stated Shego. Drakken glared. "Nowhere do they count except a slumber party for children," she added.
"Hmpf! See if you're invited to my slumber party at the new lair," he pouted and turned towards his door. He heard her scoff.
"Yeah, like I'd want to," he heard her try to sound confident.
"You and I both know you enjoy my company," he shrugged. "Clearly you're not saying for my brilliance."
Drakken stepped in his doorway and smirked. Shego's face looked slightly flushed and he fought the urge to raise his brow in question. But his amusement was too high for that.
"So if it's not my mind...what is it?" Drakken let the door close to separate them.
He fought the laugh he wanted to give at her shocked wide eyes. Instead he went to work on packing before he got nostalgic and changed his mind about relocating. He got three feet towards his closet when he remembered that he needed the henchmen to pack the lab. He mused over where to begin their hunt for a new evil base of operation.
"I've always wanted a mountain lair," mused Drakken to himself, unaware Shego still stood flabbergasted at his last words to her, just outside the door.
Hot Tub you say...