Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.

And Cole is not going evil in this fic just to keep that in mind, he was Phoebe's soulmate and he always will be. Due to him not going evil a lot of the Season 4 after the next chapter will be skipped. I might do one two more of Season 4 and then we move onto Season 5. Again I do not think I will include the last season so just keep in mind Henry might pop up in the Season 6/7 arc (never liked Richard anyway).

Please Read and Review.

And Trigger Warnings for this chapter for miscarriage. Please be aware.

Here is the last one of Season 4. Onto Season 5.

Mother Of Invention

Chapter 8-I Exist Only For Me

The sisters and Billie, (including a grieving Phoebe) are forced to consider what their lives would be like without powers when the Angel of Destiny offers them a deal-Cole and Leo do not appear in this chapter-Final of Season 4. Slightly shorter chapter than previous ones.

Sometimes there were moments where it all got too much. Where it was too much to get out of bed and fight demons and that summer it was too much. Between the construction crew that had parked itself outside and was drilling away from dawn to dusk and the private investigator that was spying on them (thanks to Daryl for that one) and then there was the miscarriage.

The Doctor had told Phoebe that it was normal, tragic but normal. Woman had miscarriages and Phoebe had been able to find no magical reasoning behind it. There was nothing in the Book that spoke about preventing such things either. There was nothing that magic could do, nothing that Cole had done once being half demon and nothing that Phoebe had done being a witch. It was simply one of those things that happened. And there was nothing that could be done about it. No way of taking it back, no redo's. She had lost her baby before she had even figured out how she felt about having one and for days she couldn't get out of bed.

Cole was much the same, utterly helpless he had not know what to do. Leo and Daryl between the two of them had taken it upon themselves to keep him busy because Phoebe had made it pretty clear in those days afterwards that she didn't want him near her. It was a Halliwell thing Piper had said sternly through the wooden door, to push the people that loved you away. Didn't mean that they were going to let you do it however.

(Even right now they were with Cole at the club trying to keep him occupied because his wife had made it clear that she wanted to process this on her own and knowing when to quit had never really been Cole's strongest suit)

On day four Phoebe had emerged for her bedroom but still…the house which had once been filled with love and life and joy and a little bit like magic felt like it had done in those days after Prue had died and the magic had all dried up.

Even the demons hadn't bothered to attack. The Witchfinder was a break in the settings and easily dealt with when you looked back upon it. But considering the fact that the Angel of Destiny turned up halfway through that little revelation was kind of ignored until the last second where they pulled off the heroic rescue and the big bad vanquish with their usual aplomb.

Problem was the Angel of Destiny who had turned up with the mother of all dilemma's.

A magic free life.

"You can't be serious" Billie said when she had gotten home from school that day. It was the last day of school before summer vacation and she had come home to find the house in disarray. What she had been hoping for was a nice quiet night to kick off her summer in style and maybe a look over the book to see if there was a spell she could tweak to make her hair look less limp (you know, without the personal gain that came with it) but what she had walked into was some Dumbledore wannabe with short hair and no beard telling her that there was an option to give up the magic she had just only now learnt to control.

"Deadly" her Mom said as she cleaned up the tea (because apparently you served tea when your world was falling apart).

"You can't want to do this?"

"What I want to do is immaterial Billie, we have to agree upon it and Piper and Phoebe have made their minds up, they want to give it up. They want normal demon free lives and to be honest sometimes I can't blame them. We've been through hell and back this past year, imagine what it's been like for them.

"I can but…" here she lowered her voice and prayed neither one of them were listening at the kitchen door.

"But what difference does it make? I mean…it's not going to change anything is it? It's not going to bring Prue back is it? Or the baby…"

"Billie—"

"Mom are you…are you seriously thinking about giving up our powers?"

She didn't know why she sounded so hurt by it, why the entire thing to her was so raw but it was. Like it or loathe it (and she happened to like it so shoot her) her magic was a part of her, it was a part of who she was, it had been deep down inside of her perhaps unknowingly saving her life on a day to day basis for many, many years and she had trusted it. To rip it out now felt like it was a part of her that was being ripped out in the process and she didn't know how that was supposed to make her feel. She'd had something…been a part of something…been born to be the future of something and now her Mom and her Aunts wanted to take that away and what made it worse was Billie wasn't sure if she even got a vote out of this.

Stupid angels.

"I want you to be normal" Billie her Mom said finally. "I want you to go on dates without fear that you are going to be attacked by an ogre and I want you to bring your friends home without fear that the house is going to blow up and I want you to live a healthy and happy life Billie and if that means that I have to sacrifice something that I love too to give that too you then I will. That is the vow I made when I held you in my arms for the first time. You don't understand it now but you will, when you are a little bit older you will understand why I think this is a good idea for you even if I don't think it's a good idea for me"

"Mom, your not listening to me, I don't want this, this isn't a decision that you can make for me anymore than it was a decision you could make for me when I first got my powers. You can't fight destiny, even if it is the angel. I don't want my magic taken away from me because your having nightmares about what happened with that Vampire Queen and—"

"Enough!" her Mom said and the tone of her voice was harsh and loud and jarring and Billie realised with a swoop that she was having her first real fight with her Mom in as long as she could remember. They didn't fight…they didn't…they were too close to fight. They were Billie and Paige, Paige and Billie, the Matthews girls. Everyone said it.

And yet here they were and her Mom was glaring at her and Billie was glaring back and this was an impasse neither one of them could move forwards on.

So they just stared at each other.

And then her Mom went back into the living room leaving Billie in the kitchen fuming and yet sad all at the same time.

Mothers she thought scathingly. They never understood.

"I know your mad at me for not listening to you"

"Oh good"

"Billie you can't just turn up like that at stuff like this"

"I don't suppose I get prompts for saving your life?"

Paige carefully didn't snap at the sarcasm in her daughter's tone but it was a close thing.

They had found the witch hunter but saving his innocent and defeating him all at the same time had been an issue until Billie had arrived literally out of nowhere (and if she could orb now Paige was going to scream) and it had been enough to distract him from wear he was trying to relight the fire long enough for Phoebe to kick him and Piper to vanquish him.

They had saved his victim, they had saved the witch and they had gone home.

But the fight was not over yet.

"Billie"

"Mom…I don't want to give this up. You say that we have a relationship that is based on mutual respect and love for the other but you didn't bother to hear what I was saying"

Paige opened her mouth and then shut it again because…yeah that was fair. She flopped down on the couch next to her daughter and stared at the TV.

"Four hours, sixteen minutes and ten seconds" she said flatly. Billie turned to stare at her expression nothing but confusion.

"What?"

"Four hours, sixteen minutes and ten seconds" she said again. "That was how long you were a vampire in training for. That was how long I thought I had lost you for. Four hours, sixteen minutes and ten seconds"

"Mom…you didn't lose me…"

"Billie I have stared down death so many times, I have stared down things that would make other woman tremble, I did it all but in those Four hours, sixteen minutes and ten seconds, I felt a fear the likes of which I had never felt before and never, ever want to fear again. Do you understand me?"

Billie nodded but Paige just sighed, in truth she knew her daughter never could understand her. The fear that she had felt, the panic, it was something that only a parent could feel and so she swallowed down her response and carried on regardless.

"Billie, I love having magic, I love that you love it, I love that it helped us find our family, I love that you love it, I love the craft too but…but there is nothing in this world that I love more than you so if it comes down to a choice between having magic and keeping you safe then I am choosing keeping you safe everytime. Because I can live without magic. I cannot live without you. Can you understand that?"

She cupped her daughter's face in her hands and Billie slowly, her eyes overbright with tears, nodded.

"I'm sorry" she said quietly. "I am so, so sorry Mom"

"Not your fault baby" Paige said finally. "But I need you to understand what tonight was about"

"Yeah"

"And I need you to understand that you can't do that stuff, you can't put your life in danger like that—"

"Mom, you know how you said that you can live without magic but you can't live without me? Did you think that it was different for me or something? I can live without magic, it wasn't until today that I realised I could. I don't ever want to but I can. I can't live without you and when you and Aunt Piper and Aunt Phoebe go into these battles and don't tell anyone about it then I have to wonder and worry alone and I don't want to do that. I am a weapon, you can use me. The demons don't know what to make of me and you annihilated the fucker who tried to hurt me last. That means something—"

"Have you been speaking to Cole?"

"No…well…yeah but only because it helps him to talk about stuff like this. Helps me too. I like knowing when or if I can be useful."

Paige didn't know what to make of that. She let go of Billie's face and sighed.

"Doesn't matter know" she said quietly. "There's too much out there in the world for us to give up our powers. That girl would be dead without us tonight, and I won't have another mother going through what I nearly went through. I didn't get it before, I do now. So we keep our powers"

"Really?"

Paige shot her daughter a look and Billie immediately turned her delighted expression into something more sombre.

"Yes" she said dryly and she knew that Piper and Phoebe agreed with her. "Yes it appears that we do"

Billie kept her excitement to a minimum until she went to bed.

It was a peace offering and that night Paige took the red silk that her daughter had been wearing when she had nearly lost her and burned it. She sprayed some sage around the room and lit a candle and thought that it wasn't much but it was something.

A new time.

A new day.

A new beginning.

Everything new.

And she couldn't keep Billie from this life. It wasn't fair.

The Angel took the news well and Billie kept her Dumbledore comments to a bare minimum which was something.

"You know" he said on his way out to…wherever it was that they went. "You should know" he said to Piper. "Nothing in yours and Leo's personal destiny would have changed"

And then he was gone and it took all four of them a second to register and then commute what he had said. Paige looked at a confused Piper and she got it the second that Phoebe did and the harsh lines of grief smoothed out in joy for her older sister who was pregnant.

Piper's face was a picture.

It wasn't fixed yet Paige thought as Billie hugged her Aunt and Phoebe laughed and cried with mixed emotions, but it was something. It was something real that existed in the universe. This family, this life, this moment.

It was real, it was precious, it existed.

And Paige looked at her daughter laughing and she knew she was laughing herself and she thought that she was going to do everything, everything in her power to make sure that life for Billie, stayed this good.

Because that was what mother's did.

And there you go, I hope you like this chapter and I will see you soon for the Season 5 arc.

Next Chapter-Season 5-Mermaids exist, Paige is a red head, Billie is learning the craft, Piper is pregnant and Cole doesn't know what to do for the better.