The Chronicler

by C-Hablerie

Reality is law. Logic is king. Reason is good. Throw all these out the window and all you are left with is the reality you make for yourself. Some call me The Chronicler, and this is the story of the story I lived. And how I came to chronicle the Legend of the Straw Hat. "I have no idea where I am.[Officially Cancelled. Rewrite: 'Imagine Dreamers', in the making...]

12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Sailing Towards Destiny

I straighten my back and stare intently at the thin metal that constitutes the killy end of what I've affectionately, though temporarily, nicknamed the Murder Needle. Though I hadn't owned this blade for long, I had gotten a hang of it, thanks partly to a talent at quickly figuring out fighting thanks to a psychopath childhood "friend".

Childhood trauma, some would call it, but I was too old at the time to really count. I think. I think I've repressed some of those memories. Thinking back makes my body ache in phantom pains.

Avoiding the present. That is what I'm trying to do. That is self-defeating and bad.

"Whose bright idea was this again?" I bring myself to ask, eyeing not only Zoro but Usopp who stands on the opposite side of the deck.

"Yours."

"You're right," I agree. "Must've been some idiot. Why are we doing this again? What are we doing?"

"Stop stalling!" Zoro barks at me.

"I don't stall for shit, Mr. Bushido!" I snap at him. "I just think this is a dumb and stupid thing to do!"

"This was your idea!"

"SHUT UP DISCIPLE!" I snap at Usopp, boldened by the distance between us. "SENSEI IS IN DENIAL HERE! QUIT FUCKING IT UP, BOTH OF YOU!"

"Shut up and start already," Zoro snarls.

"Fine!" I snap, giving my full attention to the sniper on the opposite end of the ship, eyes hardening and my focus sharpening to its limit. "If even one of those explodes, so help me...!"

Zoro nods in satisfaction at finally getting me to cooperate and turns to Usopp. "Whenever you're ready, Usopp!"

"Right!"

I take a deep breath and keep my nerves under strict command. My nerves are citizens living in a fascist society, where they are all monitored and all defections will be met with promises of imminent pain and great displeasure.

You see, some asshole had a bright idea for a training method to hone reflexes, vision and hand-eye coordination. It also happened to involve having Usopp launch lead balls at them. You know, for motivation to not fuck up.

Which was what we were doing.

"Sensei, first one is a freebie!" Usopp informed me, basically saying he was about to use his slingshot to try to injure me, and that I should pay attention. His slingshot was already tightly drawn and aimed at me. "Here I go! Lead Star!"

Usopp released and by any normal yardstick, deflecting a ball of lead with a blade was stupid ridiculous.

Well, apparently not, because my hand moved slightly on instinct and I heard a slight sound of something scraping against metal and something just grazing my cheek.

Inconceivable? Well, fuck you! People always underestimate the power of base human instinct. It's only limited by the information the person can gather; for the instinct to work off of. And I was really good at gathering and processing information.

Still looking ahead, seeing the blade of my rapier slightly reverberate from the impact, I could see Usopp's jaw hit the deck. And I mean that literally, it just fell right down there. Fucking cartoon logic...

Besides me, Zoro whistled, clearly impressed. "Wow! Didn't think you'd actually pull it off."

"What, you wanted me to get hurt?" I ask, partly in jest. At his lack of response and deadpan look, I want to stab him, but refrain from being such a crude peasant. "Whatever. I deflected a thing. Bow to my awesome- GEK!"

I flinch harshly and fall into a crouch, holding my left side, which hurt like a- "Mother... fucker... aaaaaaaaaaa!"

Apparently, Usopp likes cheap shots!

"What... The fuck?!" I scream out.

"Sorry!" Usopp yelled back. "I just want to point out that you explicitly told me to fire unexpectedly until Zoro told me to stop."

"Fuck... me..." I curse, standing up and rubbing my aching side. Damnit, that's going to bruise.

"Suck it up," Zoro says, helpfully. "Now get back to training."

"Well, excuse me that we aren't all like-" I raise my blade and just barely deflect a piece of lead enough to miss my side, again. "Damnit, what kind of sick fuck trains like this?!"

"Lay in the grave you dug. Like a man."

"Fuck-" Deflect- AUGH, MY SKULL!

-o~O-O~o-

"You are unbelievable," my favorite member of the crew says as she finishes wrapping a bandage around my head.

"Blame Usopp," I say. "He likes headshots."

"Funny. Zoro told me it was all your idea."

"Zoro is a dumb piece of meat!"

"Meat?"

"Go away, Luffy!" We both tell the captain to buzz off, which he does after confirming that no meat is present.

Nami gives me this look that might be exasperation. That, or she is tired. "Honestly, why won't you just admit it?"

"No sane or thinking person trains by using themselves as target practice," I say.

"... So, the fact that you had to come up with such a training method insults your own intellect, because you thought and suggested it and then decided that the proper course of action was to put it to practice?"

"..."

"Abel?" Nami says warningly.

"... Yes," I admit through my teeth.

"See, was that so hard?" Nami says, smiling and ruffling my very short hair.

"Exceptionally," I choose to be a grouch and softly swat her hand away to place my newest wig back on my head.

This time it was lustrous straight brown hair that reached my upper back and the bangs were finely shaped to frame my face. It sort of created a contrast with how damn pale my skin was, but I could deal with it. Made me look exotic.

I'd changed my clothes to match it. A brown dress with a short hem that reached only the upper thigh. It had orange buttons that made it look real smooth. To not make that hem-length too scandalous, I also wore brown hotpants that attached to my socks aking to garters. My footwear consisted of black, sharp-tipped boots with orange laces.

Slightly tomboyish, yet clearly feminine.

I'd chosen that this was as good time as any to give my legs some nice attention, so the whole thing accentuated them a lot. They were just as shapely and feminine and enticing as the rest of me. Soft curves on the thighs and calves that made leg fetishists drool.

Sanji had leered at my legs, had a nosebleed and promptly had to excuse himself. I could hear him banging his head on something somewhere down, through the deck. I laughed, as you do, at his continually conflicted mind, knowing I was to blame for his turmoil.

But enough of how damn fine I look. Time to talk business.

"So," I start, finishing adjusting my wig so that the bandages are more or less hidden away, "anything of note on the royalty?"

I am, of course, referring to the double dipshits hitching a ride with us. Their codenames: Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. Or as I like to call them, Little Prince and Little Princess.

Naturally, no one but Luffy trusted the two essentially nameless jerks. Which is why we all had wordlessly agreed to keep constant tabs on the two, of whom only Nami and I did it full time. Sanji was too blind to Little Princess, Usopp was busy and Zoro slept a lot and probably didn't give a shit. Arlong was no help either, watching us and waiting for us to crash and burn.

"Nothing, as of yet," Nami responded casually. "Aside from being pains in the ass, they've behaved themselves."

"Tell me about it," I agree. Little Prince has a bit of an attitude problem, though I handle him just fine. I frighten him, thanks to my handling of his sass earlier. At least the girl knows the nebulous situation she is in and isn't mouthing off people who can end her.

"... Are you sure they're a threat?" Nami asks. I can tell she has doubts, and I cannot blame her for that.

"They use code names and have a policy of secrecy," I tell her. "Nami, there are not a lot of good things that have a need for that combination. With our luck, those two are A, assassins. B, undercover marines. C, a collective of murderers, or D, low-key bounty hunters."

"Or thieves," she proposes, shaking her head lightly. "I get what you mean. Those two are seriously shady."

"Which is why we are keeping an eye on them," I chuckle. "Speaking off, better go see if they are apologetic yet. That, or tired of the ropes."

The crew had tied the two up for being super annoying. It was a unanimous decision, even Luffy was getting somewhat annoyed. Now they were below deck, tied up in two tight bundles and I occasionally went to sing for them. Keep them entertained.

Or in pain. Apparently, my singing is more off-key than I recall. Sanji came over once during a session and made me swear never to sing with anyone present.

I told him to suck my dick, basically. He's not the boss!

"Go easy on them," Nami suggested with a smirk that indicated the opposite.

"No promises," I say with a shrug and look out for a moment before heading down. It's such a nice day so far. Everything seems to be good! A bit too good...

I just hope there is some reason Arlong keeps chortling whenever I look pleased with today or mention it in conversation. I have a bad feeling about it.

-o~O-O~o-

Nami shook her head, smiling softly. For someone allegedly so intelligent, Abel was really, really stupid at times. Because seriously, who stays in denial for hours about something that was fully their doing?

He was incredibly smart, and unbelievably crafty given the right motivation, more often than not his personal safety. That Nami couldn't deny. The fact that, quirks aside, he was a rational human being and the sole bastion of sanity was a boon she couldn't stop being thankful for. He was the voice of reason, often more effectively than Nami herself could manage. Abel just had a much more commanding presence than she did.

Maybe because he was an adult? He was older than any of them, and therefore more experienced by default.

Nami couldn't help but slump slightly, upset that Abel didn't act his age most of the time. That damn actor just didn't take things seriously unless he had to.

Leaving the subject of Abel's eccentricities aside, she really needed to reassess their course and make sure the weather was in their favor. She made to go outside, only to walk headfirst into something fairly hard, causing her to stumble back a bit.

As she rubbed her forehead she nervously wondered how someone as large as Arlong had snuck up on her. The second thought was, 'oh god, I'm alone in a room with Arlong!'

Nami could only put on a brave face and not let her nervousness show. The Fishman's presence was still a thing she just couldn't get used to. She was still a bit mad at Abel for bringing him along. But to his credit, Arlong had behaved himself so far. And after Arlong's abrupt apology- something Arlong would never do with any level of sincerity – had left her quite uncertain about a lot of things.

"What do you want?" Nami hissed, perhaps with a bit more hostility than frankly necessary. But she just couldn't stop herself. All her resentment over the years just kept bubbling up whenever she thought about anything relating to Arlong.

Much to Nami's surprise, however, if she didn't know any better she'd swear that Arlong looked uncomfortable. Uncertain. Both very un-Arlong things. It was subtle, but his body language was tense and uneasy, and his eyes were slightly directed away from Nami herself. It was so unreal and unbelievable that Nami almost missed what he said.

"That man... does he seem irregular?"

"Huh?" Nami voiced her confusion, partly to mask her inattentiveness.

Arlong took a few seconds to clarify. As if searching for the worlds. "The pretender..."

"What about Abel?" Nami asked before he could go on, eyeing Arlong with barely hidden suspicion. If he noticed, he didn't show it.

"... Have you seen It?" Arlong asked. Upon noting Nami's questioning eyebrow, he added to the initial question. "About what that man hides."

Nami blinked, realizing what Arlong was likely talking about. "You mean his "real" face?" For whatever reason, Arlong seemed to stiffen further at the notion Nami was bringing forth. "Sure, he's shown it a couple of times."

"... Did it feel peculiar?" Arlong asked. "To see It."

"Well, I mean," Nami said, thinking of how to word what she thought. "It is kind of creepy, how he just drops all pretenses like that. But with how he acts most of the time, I almost forget about it."

"... That's all?" Arlong asks.

Nami narrowed her eyes at the Fishman towering over her. "What is this about, Arlong?" Instead of answering, the large Fishman started to walk out, prompting Nami to yell after him. "Hey!"

Arlong stopped by the doorway outside. He just stood there for a moment before craning his neck to look back, a serious look on his face. "That man... is not well."

Nami deadpanned at how uselessly cryptic the words were, as Arlong took a step forward, stopped, and looked back again.

"Brace yourselves," he said. "It won't be long before you learn why Grand Line is known as 'The Place Logic Goes To Die'."

Then he walked out, leaving Nami unbelievably frustrated at this conversation makes no god damn sense!

-o~O-O~o-

I step into the cargo hold, which is not used as a makeshift brig for our two troublemakers. Speaking of them, when I enter they were talking, sitting on the floor with ropes binding their arms to their midsections. They wouldn't escape easily. I made the knots, so you knew they were flawless in nature.

"This is so humiliating!" Little Prince whined, frowning angrily. "Why must such ill luck befall us, Miss Wednesday?"

"I know not, Mr. 9," Little Princess answers, much more composed. And unaware of my presence, it seems. "But we must be patient. Our mission might've ended in failure, but we can recover from this yet!"

"You are right, as always, Miss Wednesday!" Little Prince exclaims. Man, these two are abusing those codenames like there is no tomorrow. "When we get back we can get in touch with the boss. And who knows, maybe we can turn this around!"

As fun as just listening in for some more would be, I don't need to. I already know those two are fishy, so why bother further confirming it. Instead, as a man who loves theatrics, grab my rifle from my back and spin it in my hand before slamming the butt of the rifle onto the floor. The sudden and sharp bang makes the duo flinch and finally pay mind to my presence.

I wasn't even using Faint! Come on, guys...

"As fun as hearing you tell me your nefarious plans are, I'm going to pass and just wait for your inevitable betrayal," I speak up, strongly and clearly in a dominant tone. Then I slip on a vacantly vicious smile. "It makes tossing you to the sharks more satisfying."

The two eep and scuttle closer together.

"W-we were just joking around! We aren't planning anything, promise!" Little Prince stammers pathetically. I've struck quite a bit of fear into him, much to my pleasure.

"Yes," Little Princess affirms her partner's words. "We aren't going to betray anyone! That is the honest truth."

I let my vicious facâde drop and deadpan at the two idiots before me. "Wow," I manage to say, as dryly as humanly possible. "You two are shit at keeping secrets, aren't you?" Little Prince goes to retort, but I won't let him. "That's rhetorical. If you want to lie well, you don't stamp an 'honest' or 'I promise' to the end of anything, ever! That's just pathetic and see-through."

"Yes! Of course," Little Prince is quick to say, nodding his head and for a moment resembling a bobblehead. "You are most right, of course!"

"Stop being a kiss-ass, or I will knock some teeth loose," I growl at him, which shuts his mouth tightly. He doesn't need to know that I would need to try pretty hard to do that.

"Why have you come?" Little Princess asks me, still composed but visibly wary of me.

"Please, no more singing!" Little Prince screams in terror, memories flooding in, no doubt.

"Mr. 9, calm yourself!" The girl orders the man.

I snort. "As fun as that would be, not this time." I move to lean on the wall opposite to them and cross my arms. "So, feeling apologetic for being such little shits yet? Because depending on your sincerity, I might find it in me to untie your bindings."

They silently share glance and looks, a form of subtle communication. Implies they know each other rather well. Whatever, Little Princess is the first to speak.

"You must understand, the two of us are in a very precarious situation," she says. "We wish to return promptly, and being around strangers is disconcerting." She bows her head politely, Little Prince following along. "We're sorry if us being on edge makes us a little... irritating."

Well, the girl speaks well, I give her that. Very diplomatic, if a bit suspect given the circumstance. But her tone sounds sincere enough. Of course, that depends on if she's a good actor or not. Hard to ascertain.

I let out a thoughtful hum as I think this over, also staring at them sharply, fishing for reactions. Both of them are unnerved, but Little Princess remains the more composed one.

The girl has guts, I have to admit. I make a show of consideration, rubbing my chin with a thoughtful look. And I was fully prepared to make them squirm, if not for the ship rocking a bit more than usual and a very agitated voice yelling from up top.

"ABEL! SITUATION! UP HERE! NOW!"

"Welp," I throw out my hands for a second, then pull out my rapier and swing it in a flurry at the Royal Dipshit Duo. After a moment of panic passes and they realize they are not hurt and that the ropes fall of off them, they both give me a slightly pale look. "Looks like you get off on good behavior! Bully for you!"

I hold my rapier horizontally, my thumb and index finger holding the sharp tip, all the while giving the two a smile that radiates kindness. "Now, you get to show your sincerity by helping out up top. I hope you pull your weight! It would be such a shame if your body happened to fly overboard by accident."

"Yes, sir!" Little Prince exclaimed and shot up and ran off. Little Princess went to follow him at a slower pace. I noticed a certain gait to her steps as she went to pass me.

"Nice strut, Princess," I quip with a sly intonation. And her response surprises me. Her gait jerks, almost causing her to stumble. Her form tenses, her back goes almost ramrod straight and she comes to a startling halt. It is subtle, but the girl is more transparent than she might think.

I find the reaction incredibly interesting. I'm pretty sure I've struck gold in some manner. Time will tell if it is just fool's gold though.

When I go to take a step towards her, my footsteps purposefully slow and loud, her discomfort becomes more pronounced but desperately restrained. Most definitely someone with something to hide. And considering the context of my remark...

A wide, vicious grin forms on my lips as I draw close enough to touch her, and stop suddenly. The sudden silence causes her tenseness to intensify by a factor of ten, and I can see her shoulder tremble slightly. I reach out with my hand...

And shove her forward, causing her to jump in surprise.

"What are you standing around for? Join the Little Prince up on deck," I chime in a tone of absolute whimsy. I poke her lower back and swiftly run my index finger up her spine, which gets a quiet 'meep' out of her. "Go on, get!"

She gets moving again, only turning back to look at me in passing when she turns the corner. There is a harrowed look in those eyes of hers. Something has her very rattled.

How very... very interesting...

"ABEL!"

Welp, better go before she bites my head off. What's got her so uppity?

-o~O-O~o-

"THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT!"

At this point, everyone was agreeing with the cross-dresser, at least if Zoro had anything to say about it. With the unremarkable exception of Luffy, of course. Despite the blizzard growing to crazy strengths, the rubber human just continued his seemingly boundless excitement.

"Weather isn't supposed to act like this!" Nami yells over the billowing frosty winds.

"NO SHIT!" Abel snapped, clearly very irritated as he continued to struggle with the ropes keeping the sails in control. And by struggle, Zoro meant that the man was flailing in the wind along with the rope he was supposed to be holding down. Kind of like a really pissed of flag. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS WIND? WHY DID IT JUST START RIGHT OUR OF NOWHERE? WHY IS IT FUCKING SNOWING?! THIS IS MADNESS!"

...

He was not wrong.

"How are you hanging there?" Zoro asks. Perhaps he should've watched his dry delivery because it was not taken well.

"IS THAT A JOKE, RORONOA? I WILL SHIT ON YOUR SOUL!" Abel raved and cursed as the wind kept throttling him. "HELP ME, FUCKWITS!"

"Use both hands," Zoro suggested. In a rather predictable fashion, it was what the man wanted to hear.

"FUCK NO!" Abel snapped heatedly, keeping one hand on his lifeline, the other tightly pressed on top of his head. "I LOST TWO WIGS TODAY, I WILL NOT LET RULE OF THREE COMMANDEER MY LIFE!"

"Someone get Abel down from there!" Nami ordered, having gotten tired of all the irate screaming.

"A little busy here!" Zoro yelled back, holding onto his own set of ropes with all his might.

"S-s-s-same!" Usopp stammers, clearly lying and just holding onto the mast for dear life.

"You can second that!" Curly-brows yells from within the cabin, taking helm and struggling against the winds. "The currents are fighting against the winds something fierce!"

"Shit!" Nami cursed. "This is bad..."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HELP ME-EEEAAH!" Just then the blizzard stopped. As in, just plain vanished, coincidentally causing Abel to fall right down and reacquaint with the deck. With his face. His face was up within moments, though he still lay flat.

"Again? The fuck is this erratic bullshit," Abel snarled, glaring angrily at the air as if blaming it for his torment.

"Your nose is bleeding," Zoro remarked, relaxing a little now that the blizzard had passed. Off-handedly he noted how the snow on the deck began to rapidly melt and the temperature started to rise drastically.

"Damnit! Of all things!" He instantly pinches his nose shut, hops on up and speed walks inside the ship for... something. To be honest, only one of the tag-alongs, the prince-bastard, seemed to care that the irate man was gone.

"What the hell is wrong with this weather?" Nami sighed at their moment of reprieve, even as she started to sweat from the heat. At least it wasn't a typhoon. "This makes absolutely no sense!"

"I'm not trusting this calm one bit," Sanji called out from the steering lever.

"It's true!" Usopp shrieked in terror, still holding onto the mast. "All the legends are true! This really is a cursed sea!"

"Stop your blubbering!" The returning Abel reprimanded his "apprentice", as he was calling Usopp now, wiping his nose on a napkin. "Man up and act more refined."

"Says the guy who couldn't stop screaming just a minute ago," Nami snarked, starting to note the still rising temperature.

"Never happened," Abel denied. "And now that I can actually think if the magnetic fields truly are so aberrant on this stretch of the ocean, this does make sense."

"Really?" Nami asks, slightly dubious. "You can figure this out, while I, a master navigator, cannot?"

"It is because of the magnetic fields," Abel answered the question by disregarding it, "more specifically, the multiple magnetic fields of all these islands at the start clashing with each other."

"That... makes sense, yeah," Nami sighed, accepting defeat. She wiped her brow to rid it of sweat. "First strong waves, then it starts raining, a thunderstorm occurred, then snow out of nowhere, then a raging blizzard, and now a heatwave? What's next?"

"Please, don't jinx it," Abel moaned in exasperation.

"I don't see the problem," Luffy interjected, face all grin. "I like the mystery weather!"

"WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" echoed everyone.

No one paid any mind to the slumped forms of their two tag-alongs, both just as weary and tired as they looked.

Well, except the obvious exception.

"What, are we having a siesta over here?" The two jumped to attention at the voice both of them had grown to dread, be it in a more "musical" sense. Seeing the cross-dresser loom over them with a judging look was terrifying, to Mr. 9, at least.

"W-we're not lazing around!" Mr. 9 was quick to clarify.

"Yes!" Miss Wednesday agreed with her partner. "We're just... a somewhat fatigued is all. The Grand Line is hectic like this, so-"

"Uh-huh. Well excuse me, your highness" Abel interrupted, looking absolutely unimpressed, while Miss Wednesday stood just a bit straighter, "but, and do remind me if I am wrong, you two would have traversed this mess. On a ship, the two of you. By yourselves."

Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday visibly wilted at the man's perfectly reasonable line of logic. They'd just had the rug pulled from under them, their excuses utterly annihilated.

"That's what I thought," the feminine tyrant grinned in self-satisfaction. It didn't last too long, his grin falling as one simple topic was getting too hot to ignore. "Okay, is it just me or is the sun shining way too brightly?"

"Yeah," Nami remarked, fanning the collar of her shirt. "the heat is killing me!"

"It's hot?" Abel asked, for once sounding genuinely confused. Everyone gave him a dubious look. "What? ... WHAT?"

Nami turned to the rest of the crew. "Okay, everyone! We need to be prepared for anything, so stay sharp!"

"Are you... ignoring me?"

"Usopp, stop hugging the mast and go to the crows nest! See if you can spot anything odd!" Nami ordered, the sniper knowing better and doing as told.

"... Seriously? Why are yo- oh. I see the heatwaves now. Nevermind."

"How are you not sweating?" Zoro wonders out loud, himself not immune to the still rising heat, no matter how badass he was. The way too innocent, highly exaggerated shrug he got as an answer was somehow way more annoying than any snide remark Abel could possibly ditch out.

"Shahahahaa," the Fishman sitting on the waysides barked. "This is the Grand Line, the sea that eats crews whole! This is but a taste of what it holds. Shahaha!"

*CLONK*

Arlong's laughter stilled when Abel's rifle smacked him on the head, hard. His expression showed a level of surprise and outrage and seemed frozen to that expression.

The fact that Abel kept smacking him with his rifle again and again was not helping. At all.

"YOU KNEW?! MOTHERFUCKER! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP!" Abel screamed his lungs out, smacking Arlong's head all the while, serving only to further annoy the Fishman. "WEASELY ASSHOLE! RAT BASTARD! FISHFACE MCFUCKER!"

Zoro, Nami and the Tag Along Duo sweatdropped at this clearly suicidal behavior. He was really testing his luck at this point.

Arlong slowly moved to grab the rifle before it could strike him again. Then he slowly turned to look at the still furious visage of Abel, who was trying to wrestle his weapon out of the Fishman's firm grasp, futilely.

Then Arlong's fist clenched, to the sound of wood and metal getting crushed.

Silence befell the premises of the Going Merry, a metaphorical pin drop clearly audible as pieces of wood clattered onto the deck. After letting the moment sink in, Arlong released his hand and drew it back, letting Abel have a good look at the now crumpled barrel of the broken thing in his hands.

"... My rifle..." Abel whispered, for once seeming to lack a response to a situation presented to him. All everyone could do was watch in muted horror as he just turned and slowly made his way indoors. His eyes never left his ruined weapon.

Even Arlong seemed shocked. He'd spent his time under the assumption that a man like Abel didn't have a single depressed bone in his body. He was always either calm and collected, or erratic and really loud about it. There was no in-between.

Feeling a shiver run across his back, Arlong realized that a lot of malevolent gazes were drawn his way. Everyone, sans the two tag-alongs, was glaring murder in his direction.

Arlong felt a distinct need to defend his actions. So he stood up tall to do just that. "... He was asking for-"

"HAI-YAH!" A loud exclamation cut Arlong off, along with a pair of hard heels striking him on the side of the face like a pair of synchronized missiles. The force and momentum were enough to actually knock Arlong's considerable mass over and hit the deck. Literally, in this case.

Everyone's glares had turned to wide-eyed stares at Abel, as fiery as ever, dropkicking Arlong, a pretty big and just as strong Fishman, in the face.

"Why you..." Arlong snarled after comprehending what had just happened, only for a piece of metal to get jammed in his mouth.

"Break my shit, will you? Well, how about you eat it instead, you shit!" Abel snarled back, showing the ruined end of his rifle down Arlong's gullet, while faced with very strong protest that seemed to do nothing to deter his efforts.

As the struggle... escalated, if not in brutality then in ferocity on both sides, the rest of the Straw Hat Pirates, alongside the Mr/Ms Pair, remembered that yes, Abel might be a weakling, but damn if he couldn't be terrifyingly determined. He was putting up a considerable effort in tormenting Arlong, and to the shock of Nami and Usopp especially, he wasn't necessarily failing at it.

Abel Cain- Adam- whatever, was kind of scary when mad.

"CHOKE ON IT! CHOKE ON THE RUIN OF YOUR MAKING!"

... Very mad.

Then Luffy started laughing and wanted to join the fun, at which point Nami had to step in and call this madness off. Getting Abel and Arlong separated took the efforts of the entire crew. Now, you'd think Arlong was the problem, but apparently, Abel was just really mad and surprisingly hard to pin down.

All the while Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday looked on in terror, realizing just what kind of people they had accepted a ride from.

"Miss Wednesday?"

"Yes, Mr. 9?"

"I have regrets."

"As do I."

The two shared a suffering look with each other, only comforted that at least they weren't alone in this.

"Well... at least things can't get any worse... right?" Miss Wednesday tried to look for a silver lining, apparently not aware how tempting fate works. Because just then a chunk of ice the size of an eyeball fell onto the deck just in front of them with a loud *clack*.

Then some more ice chunks of varying sizes fell from the sky. And then some more. At this point, Nami had paid attention.

"Hail! Furl the sails, quickly!"

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Was the last thing Abel said before a particularly large chunk of ice, the size of a large orange, fell on top of his head.

-o~O-O~o-

Welp, I'm late again! These darn clocks, man, they are too fast! My depression can't keep up with that speed! SHAMEFUL! I needed to get this out, now, I said, and powered through!

So as punishment for my tardiness, I have severely crippled Abel's ability to fight, making more challenges to writing this story without him dying partway. Like a sane person!

But for real, I have a rough patch every now and then when motivation just seems alien to me. That, and this story really bites into my efforts to work on... projects of a more original and, hopefully, commercial variety. So the schedule of this little thing will slow down considerably at times. It can't be helped, with my myriad of mental aberrations.

But I will not abandon this story! I can't state that enough! I am too invested in making Abel suffer, so don't fear that. If you don't see anything for, like, half a year, THEN you can start losing hope.

- Mourning The Loss Of Azazel[The Rifle], C-Hablerie