Days had passed since the argument with Natalya, with all that time to think Alfred's emotions seemed to only get more confused.
It's not like Natalya died or anything, so why does it hurt just as much as when Amelia was gone?
It felt like he saw her anywhere he looked, it was infuriating. He shouldn't be thinking like this, she had betrayed him, destroyed Amelia's jacket. He should despise her, but he just... can't.
He thought a lot about this, even if he really didn't want to, he just couldn't get her off his mind. It was completely invading his thoughts until the point where he barely thought about anything else. There were multiple times he had been shocked awake because she had taken over his dreams.
While he was still at Canada's house he tended to stick around in his room, though he was aware that if he did that for too long it would raise suspicion. Besides, hanging out with his brother might do him some good to get his head on straight. The only problem is that he's become very uninterested in any sort of activity.
Sitting on the couch he flipped absentmindedly through the tv channels, nothing seemed entertaining but maybe it could help distract him for a while.
In the end he decided on Spongebob. It was a kids show but hey, he still enjoys it so who cares, right? Plus some under the sea nonsense sounds like a great distraction. At least that's what he thought.
Halfway through the first episode a song began playing. Nothing strange about that, Spongebob has songs all the time. By the time Alfred remembered what song it was it was too late, it was singing Gary Come Home.
Alfred could only sit with a sunken expression as the song played through, his mind once again wandering to Natalya.
Even after the song ended it continued to play on loop in his mind, making him feel increasingly guilty and miserable.
Why that episode? Out of every episode in the entire series it had to be the one with the saddest song.
Picking up the remote he turned off the tv and tossed it on the couch, then leaned back and stared at the black screen vacantly.
'What the hell is wrong with me?' He thought while rubbing his forehead. This girl has him all twisted, what would Amelia say if she saw him like this?
He didn't have the time to think about that because at that moment Canada walked in from behind him. "What's going on?" They asked as they looked between Alfred and the turned off tv.
For a second Alfred didn't register him as he stared, but then gave a massive grin and rubbed the back of his head. "Oh yeah, I was trying to find something to watch but there isn't really anything." He let out a laugh, but could feel how dry it was in his throat.
He's been trying really hard to make his boundless happiness seem more convincing. It's pretty easy with most of the nations but his brother will be able to pick up on any faults if it's not absolutely perfect.
Of course he didn't know that Canada was already suspicious of him, but so far he's been doing a good job of not raising said suspicion. He's not sure he wants to have to explain his complicated relationship with Natalya.
"So you're staring at a black screen instead?" Canada questioned, to which Alfred shrugged. Walking over to the other side of the couch Canada picked up the remote and turned the tv back on.
"I swear, you've been to Canada hundreds of times and yet you never remember the good channels," he said while typing in a channel number. "There, you like Letterkenny right?"
"Really? I didn't know that show was Canadian," Alfred said as he relaxed, making Canada deadpan. "But they're the most Canadian people ever, can't you hear their accents? They're complete hicks."
Alfred shrugged again, which irritated his brother a little. Canada can never tell when they are teasing him or being serious.
"Well anyway yes it's a Canadian show," he reconfirmed while sitting down on the couch as well, watching along with Alfred.
After a few minutes he glanced over at them and spoke up. "So what do you plan on doing later, eh? Going and hiding in your room again?"
"Hey don't tempt me, I've got government stuff I could be doing right now," Alfred cut back jokingly.
Canada chuckled. "Last I checked Alfred Jones doesn't do government work because he "could" be doing it. So really, what are you gonna be doing?"
Alfred scratched his head as he tried to think. "Uhh... I don't really know, just whatever comes to mind I guess."
"Oh. Well if you're not too busy do you want to tag along with me?" Canada requested. "I have to run some errands soon and they get kind of boring."
"Totally dude!" Alfred shot up, his volume startling poor Canada. "I get it, you need your awesome hero big brother to help you," he inferred with a wink, a literal star shooting out and stabbing Canada in the forehead.
"But we're twins, eh," Canada said as he rubbed his head. "Yeah but I grew up faster," Alfred argued as he stood to get ready to head out.
"You know that doesn't matter, and even so I'm taller," Canada argued back, making Alfred narrow his eyes at them. "By half an inch. And I'm nineteen, I can still grow."
"I'm nineteen too, eh," Canada pointed out. "Yeah well I'm stronger," Alfred fired back, putting his hands on his hips.
Canada stood up and matched Alfred's eyes. "Yeah? Well how did that super strength work out in all the times we played hockey?!" He yelled, though even at Alfred it barely rose above a whisper.
Alfred jabbed a finger at his brother's chest. "Hey don't even go there, I've beaten you before."
"I let you win," Canada said as he turned away and crossed his arms. Alfred gave an exaggerated gasp and crossed his own arms. "Well who cares about that dumb sport anyway? We both know I'm better than you at basically everything else."
"You mean like the "World Series?" Of course you're going to be the best in the world if I'm the only other one that plays," Canada criticized, though Alfred brushed it off.
"I mean yeah I'm good at that but more like the Olympics, which I'm totally gonna win again next year by the way," he boasted, which annoyed Canada even if they knew that was most likely true.
"Your constant win streaks won't last forever Al, I'll show you!" Canada promised with a fist raised in the air. Alfred laughed without worry and began walking away. "In your dreams bro."
Getting away before Canada could respond he made it to his room. Shutting the door he leaned against it and slowly slid down to the floor while letting out a tired sigh.
It's very straining to fool his brother like this, though at least him having to concentrate on it prevents him from thinking about Natalya. He wanted to hang out with Canada to distract him anyway so this is a necessary evil he supposes.
He never did figure out when they were actually leaving. Whatever, it's not like he was gonna do anything in the meantime.
Raising himself up he walked to his dresser and dug around for some clean clothes, tossing them to the side then flopping onto his bed.
He was only able to relax for about five seconds before his phone buzzed with a notification. Already knowing what it was about he turned the phone on and stared at the screen, not opening it but just looking at the notification bar on the lock screen.
It was a text from Natalya. Since the day they parted she's been sending hundreds upon hundreds of texts. He hasn't opened any of them yet, fearing what will happen if she knows he's reading them.
He can already guess what they all are. Her pleading he take her back and saying how much she "loves" him.
It all sounds like guilt-tripping to him, trying to make him feel bad so he'll let her get close again just for her to go back to stealing all his personal information.
After the third day the texts had fortunately become much more infrequent, to where now he only gets about one or two a day.
It troubles him that a person like Natalya would start giving up so quickly, which leads him to believe this is some other tactic and therefore another reason not to open the texts.
Even believing that, ignoring her texts makes him feel awful. It really shouldn't, he shouldn't care what this fake friend does or says, and yet he does.
Dropping his head onto his pillow he tossed his phone elsewhere on the bed, then wrapped both his arms on the underside of the pillow and hugged it to his face.
How could this creepy, obsessive, psychotic stalker who he's felt predominantly negative emotions toward for centuries, make him feel this awful?
Why did he have to learn more about her and get attached? He should've paid attention to his failure with Amelia more, he should've learned his goddamn lesson!
Now because of his stupidity he knows she's not simply creepy, she's also kind, in her own strange aggressive away. And she's not just deranged, and obsessive, and a stalker, she's emotionally stunted from a bad childhood that left her with no understanding of the healthy ways to express love and affection.
Clutching the pillow hard in his grip he exhaled a breath of pent up anger. Anger toward his pathetic attempts to not think about Natalya and toward his emotions which have gone completely haywire.
Turning his head away from the darkness he looked over at the clothes he had pulled out. He should probably get ready, just in case they had to go soon.
That worked well in his favor as the second he exited the bathroom after his shower Canada appeared in front of him to let him know they were leaving soon.
Walking out to his brother's car he watched as they carried out a couple large boxes and shoved them in the trunk, then walked in and out of the house carrying more things they needed. On the final trip he walked out with Kumajiro in his arms, locking the door behind him before making his way to the car.
"Jeez just how many errands do you have to run?" Alfred asked as he opened the passenger seat door.
Opening one of the back seat doors Canada began to buckle Kumajiro into a seat while looking over at Alfred.
"Let's see, I have to run papers over to my government, take Kumajiro to the vet for a stomach ache, I need to run to a clothes store because someone thought it was a good idea to make a chew toy from all my socks," he listed off while glaring at Kumajiro scornfully. "It's probably the reason he has a stomach ache in the first time place."
Done with buckling them in he closed the door and entered the driver's seat, meanwhile Alfred buckled himself in. "Fun," he said with a thumbs up, the sarcasm obvious in their voice.
"I know I know," Canada waved him off. "I plan on going to Tim Hortons and the grocery store, so it's not all miserable. Plus we can always go somewhere to eat or hang out if you want."
Turning on the car Canada pulled out of the driveway and onto the street, heading for the city of Ottawa.
In no time they had arrived at the Parliament building, driving around to the side and parking in front of the House of Commons.
"I will try to be quick," Canada said as he began to exit the car. Walking around to the trunk he opened it and pulled out the boxes from earlier, as well as folders and stacks of paper.
After some struggle to get a hand free he shut the door and started slowly heading toward the building while fumbling with the unstable stack.
Before they got too far Alfred rolled down his window and called out to them. "Um, dude you need help there?"
"No no, it's fine I got it," Canada assured, turning his whole body so he could see Alfred from behind the boxes.
Raising an eyebrow Alfred scanned his eyes up and down the jenga tower of files and documents. "You sure?"
Canada gave a nod and started turning back around. "Yes I'm sure, I'm strong too you know."
"Yeah, I guess so," Alfred said as he rested his cheek against his hand, his arm set on the opened window.
"Right, well I'll be right back," Canada replied while beginning to walk to the building. Alfred gave a lazy half wave then returned to relaxing, his mind transfixed on what his brother had said.
The amount of times Natalya yelled at him for helping her despite having her own super strength. Alfred covered his eyes with his hand and gave a strange, cryptic laugh.
In the awkward minutes of silence Alfred brooded to himself, not noticing the small polar bear staring at the back of his head.
With some struggle due to the stomach ache Kumajiro climbed into the front of the car and sat in the driver's seat, observing the creepy little smile plastered on Alfred's hidden face.
Despite the smile, the bear could feel that something was wrong with the nation, he wasn't sure what but they felt... off.
"You seem sad eh," he pointed out matter-of-factly, making Alfred remove the hand and look over with a lost expression. "Excuse me? Come on, what kind of loser hero gets sad?"
Inside he cursed himself, always forgetting that animals can pick up on one's vibe, only to curse himself again realizing Kumajiro was sensing this inner turmoil as well.
"Whatever Kuma-dude, I feel awesome. Better than you anyway. You've been with Mattie for what, a few centuries? And you still don't know what you can and can't eat?"
He hoped the teasing could bait the bear into an argument, but when they didn't bite he gave a pout and crossed his arms. "Well I don't know what you're talking about, I feel great."
Kumajiro was about to disagree but before he could Alfred had noticed Canada coming back, so he quickly picked up the bear and set them down in the back seat.
Reentering the car, Canada sat down and looked at his brother. "I hope I wasn't too long."
"Nah dude you're good," Alfred reassured, passing a few sidelong glances to the bear that appeared to still have something to say.
As they tried to speak Alfred interrupted them with a loud clap. "Alright! Next destination."
Wincing at the noise Canada put a hand to their ringing ear and rubbed it. "There's no need to shout, eh."
Alfred chuckled nervously and whispered an apology. With that Canada turned on the ignition and began to the drive to the next destination, which luckily for Alfred was the vet. It would serve well to get Kumajiro off his back for a while, though he just hopes they don't babble the second they're back.
With Kumajiro dropped off at the vet the two went through more of their destinations. First Tim Hortons, which Canada specified they do after getting rid of Kumajiro as even with a hurt stomach they would surely eat anything the twins ordered.
Then it was off to the clothing store, Canada disappearing into the shop and leaving Alfred on his own.
He decided to idly wander, there's nothing he really needs here, especially since replacing all the clothes Natalya destroyed.
Shaking his head he glared at his feet. 'Get out of my head!' He demanded, but it didn't help in the slightest.
Without knowing where he was going he strolled into an unknown section of the store. Forced to raise his head to see where he was, he discovered himself in the women's section.
Rolling his eyes he turned to walk out, but slowed as something white caught his attention.
A little to his right was a mannequin wearing nearly the same sundress Natalya had worn a few times. With more memories flooding to him he entirely zoned out, not noticing the strange glances people were giving him as they walked past.
The only thing that could break through was the familiar voice of his brother. "Al what are you doing?"
Following the noise Alfred saw his brother standing right next to him, their eyes darting between the dress and himself. On instinct Alfred jumped in fear and let out a shriek, which echoed throughout the whole building.
"What I'm- I'm not doing anything!" He poorly defended while his hands flailed every which way, the blush obvious on his face as he sped off.
In immense confusion Canada watched their brother just about run away. After staring at the dress for a few moments he went after his brother.
After that strange little encounter Alfred thought up an excuse that went along the lines of how he thought he remembered seeing someone famous where that before.
It was a pretty awful excuse, but he couldn't really create a good one with how flustered he was. Fortunately it seemed Canada had bought it, though he was still a little weirded out.
Leaving the store they headed toward the grocery store, where Alfred wandered off once again. Canada couldn't tell what was up with his brother, they were even more sporadic than normal. Did they drink too much coffee again?
Hiding a few aisles away Alfred held his head and pulled at his hair with self-hatred. He needs to cut this out immediately, he's acting completely insane.
If he could just shut up and put his mind to something then he'd have no problems. Pausing his internal tantrum an idea came to his head as he scanned the aisle he was standing in. He was in the snack aisle, and if there was anything that could put his mind at ease, or at least distract it, it was food.
As Canada went through checkout with his groceries he felt the presence of someone behind him, but as he turned he sweat-dropped when finding his brother carrying two whole armfuls of Pringles cans.
"Al what is this? Did you take the store's whole stock?" He questioned. Alfred looked slightly annoyed at such an accusation. "Of course not! It's just... well there's so many flavors, and I couldn't really decide on which ones to buy. So why not all of them?"
Canada could only watch in disbelief as Alfred set the Pringles cans down on the conveyor, which made the cashier look like they wanted to bash their face against their desk repeatedly.
"But what about lunch, eh? I thought we might go, especially with how much time we have before needing to pick up Kumajiro."
Alfred gave an up and down wave of his hand and looked off at nothing with a face that showed little care. "Don't sweat about it. I've always got room for lunch. Oh! Also, did you know they have ketchup Pringles? How weird is that?!"
Canada couldn't even respond as Alfred put a finger to his chin and thought out loud. "Do you think they have mustard flavor?"
"Actually they have honey mustard," Canada responded, though he wasn't sure why he was enabling Alfred to continue.
"Relish flavor?" Alfred wondered. "Probably not," Canada said.
"Mayo?"
Canada cringed at the thought, then frowned at his brother. "Ok now you're just being gross."
Alfred laughed childishly at his brother's disgusted face. At least he still found teasing enjoyable.
Once all the food had been scanned and paid for the two began thinking of where to eat, all while Alfred devoured can after can of chips, or at least that's what Canada was expecting.
To his udder shock Alfred actually ate slow, maybe as to savor each different flavor but it was still unexpected.
Falling back on ordering a pizza, the two sat in the car outside the vet eating pizza, wings, Pringles, and sharing a two liter of soda. If you saw them you'd think they were going on a trip somewhere.
By the time Kumajiro was to be picked up most of everything was gone, well except for the Pringles of course.
Just as Kumajiro was set down in the back seat he picked up on how unstable Alfred was, then got up to try and tell his owner.
In a panic Alfred turned with a grin and Pringles in hand. "Yo Kuma-dude, your stomach feeling any better? Cause you totally gotta try this weird ketchup flavor."
Kumajiro knew what Alfred was trying to do, but his maddening hunger from his recently recovered stomach overrode rationality, so without pause they yanked the can away and scarfed it down as fast as possible.
"Hey slow down, eh! You just got out of the vet," Canada demanded, but Kumajiro couldn't hear a thing over his own chewing.
Shifting his attention he glared at his brother. "Seriously? Did you have to do that?" In response Alfred gave a clueless shrug and innocent smile, internally patting himself on the back for stopping the bear once more.
Later that day the siblings had returned home and prepared dinner, sitting down at the table across from each other with their plates of food. After all that pizza and chips they decided to go light and only have sandwiches, though even then Alfred still managed to stack about eight on his plate.
Kumajiro would've joined them, but was currently sleeping on the couch in the living room having eaten himself into a coma.
Dinner was incredibly awkward that, Alfred looked to be deep in thought about something, and was doing that same uncharacteristic slow-eating he's done all day.
Without the boisterous voice starting off every conversation Canada wasn't sure how to talk to his brother, so he also stuck to eating his food.
After some minutes Alfred looked over at his brother, his mind caught up on one single question he couldn't push away. "Hey Mattie, you remember the argument... right?"
Freezing on the spot Canada raised his eyes away from the plate to Alfred, who was incapable of staring back out of embarrassment or possibly nervousness.
Swallowing the bite in his mouth Canada sat motionless. The argument that nearly costed the two their unity as brothers? Of course he remembers, it is forever a touchy subject between them.
Sighing quietly he shook his head and moved to pick up the rest of his sandwich. "Al if this is about that argument this morning that was "it's not," Alfred dismissed, his face flat and entirely serious.
Growing concerned with what his brother was going to say, Canada closed his mouth to listen. Alfred played out the words he wanted to say on his lips, stopping and restarting multiple times to get it right.
Finally he took a deep breath and looked directly into Canada's eyes, no ounce of joy to be found. "After the argument was done and over with, and you apologized to me, did you... were you telling me the truth?"
In an instant Canada was on his feet, knocking into the table and nearly sending it and the food flying. "What?! Of course! Al, are you alright? What's wrong?"
In shock Alfred raised his hands and gave an innocent laugh. "Nothing's wrong dude. I was just- well I was confirming, you know?"
"No I don't know!" Canada "yelled" with hurt in his voice. "Alfred, why don't you trust me?" The two fell into tense silence, then Alfred exhaled softly and rubbed his neck. "I do. It's just... look it's not important, forget I said anything."
Standing up Alfred grabbed his plate, which was still half full, and moved to throw it away, but was stopped as Canada grabbed him by the arm.
Turning around, the two brothers faced each other with solemn expressions, Canada being the first to speak up. "Please tell me, are you okay? You know you can tell me anything."
With a pleasant, genuine grin Alfred nodded.
"Yeah man, I'm alright."
A few more days passed, Natalya had long since stopped texting him, and he was spending nearly all of his time by his brother's side.
Kumajiro's kept quiet so far, but only because Alfred keeps bribing them with food and whatever else the bear wants.
It's been a pretty relaxing and easy-to-follow routine, but for Alfred himself? He's only been getting worse.
While all of his time with his brother allows him to keep Natalya off his mind most of the time, when he does think of her it only feels more painful.
He sees her everywhere, everything reminds him of her: little girls wearing bows, swear words on the tv or in real life, and even Canada cutting up ingredients with a large kitchen knife.
All he wants to do is cover his face and never face the world again, at least the darkness doesn't remind him of her... well most of the time at least.
"Al?" Canada's voice pulled him into the real world, and now he could see the fingers snapping in front of his face and his twin's worried frown.
"Ah sorry dude, I kinda zoned out. What did you say again?" He wondered. "I said I have to leave and go meet with my boss," Canada repeated.
"Oh duh. Yeah I'll see you later," Alfred laughed off. Canada looked at him strangely but said goodbye as well.
The second they drove away Alfred's mood dropped dramatically. He could barely keep himself from slouching.
Also having watched Canada leave Kumajiro looked up at Alfred's grouchy self. "Why are you upset?"
Recognizing the voice Alfred grumbled to himself and crossed his arms. "Seriously dude, I'm fine. Anyway do you need to be fed or something? I plan on going out too."
"Oh you can't do that remember? If you go somewhere you have to take me along, Canada's orders, eh," the bear informed, only frustrating Alfred more.
He forgot about the last time he left Kumajiro home alone, by the time he came back there wasn't much of a house left. That was probably the loudest he's ever heard his brother yell.
There wasn't much time to reminisce about angry Canada because next thing he knew he was walking around the streets of Ottawa while a polar bear sat in a baby carrier strapped to his chest.
He could feel the vein pulsing in his forehead, and no doubt Kumajiro was picking up on it. On the bright side at least the strange sight brought him some nice attention, human interaction was his saving grace on the long walk to his destination.
Reaching the location he looked up at the sign of the large building. It was a public gym. He didn't particularly like public gyms, mainly because having to limit himself to not show off his strength to humans gave him very little results.
But it was still better than just sitting inside moping all day long. Although he had no desire to work out or eat, he will force himself to as long as it takes. He refuses to fall into the same pit as he did with Amelia. He can't go through that again.
Entering the building he swapped into a pair of shorts and moved to a free bench, setting Kumajiro down on it as he got prepared for his workout.
"Can I have one of your apples?" Kumajiro requested while pointing at a small bag within the bag Alfred carried in.
"I mean I kinda need those to eat but knock yourself out," Alfred said as he finished warming up, handing Kumajiro his phone to preoccupy them for the time being.
Though of course after blocking his texting and call apps, he's not taking any chances of the bear finding Natalya through those.
Taking a few of the heavier weights he placed them on a barbell and began his routine, as fruitless as it was lifting a measly 400 lbs. With how skinny he looks there's no way he could make anything heavier look natural, even this was a stretch.
A couple hours passed before he started to sweat, and even then it's probably just from the movement alone, as his arms still feel completely fine.
In that time he thoroughly observed the rest of the people in the gym. There were some bodybuilders working out as hard as him, a few skinny or fat guys working to get in shape, then of course the group of people walking or jogging on treadmills while messing with their phones, and finally the small minority of fit people taking pictures for social media or flirting with each other.
That last group particularly annoyed him, so he rolled his eyes and focused back on his own exercising.
Next to him Kumajiro started watching YouTube on the phone, going to the news section oddly enough. What does a polar bear need to look at the news for?
While working out he listened in as a news anchor gave information about the latest events.
"In breaking news, the U.S. economy sees a sudden and significant contraction over the course of this week. Top economists are still debating what is causing the drop, but some believe it has something to do with what they are quoting as "mass lethargy." This strange phenomenon, according to these economists, is from many Americans deciding to stay at home and not work all within a small timeframe. This isn't because people are being laid off or fired, but as many of them have said, they are tired, depressed, and incredibly burnt out. This is a very serious problem, and if nothing is done to fix this issue it could lead to more quitting and further hits to the economy. So that just leaves the questions: what is causing all of this to happen so suddenly, and what can we do to stop it?"
Alfred clenched hard to the barbell, his teeth grinding together as he put as much force into lifting the bar above his head as he could.
He's not tired, he's not depressed! His economy is fine, he's gonna be just fine, his country won't fall into a depression. No way!
"I knew something was wrong," Kumajiro spoke up. Alfred scoffed and glared at nothing. "Just shove it, nations' economies go down all the time."
Whatever Kumajiro said next he didn't listen to, fully absorbed in the workout. He needed to stay strong. He had to be strong.
While the weight was light the repetitious lifting began to pile up, but he pushed on, he wouldn't be satisfied until he couldn't lift anymore.
"Sir..? Sir?!" A woman asked as she stepped up to him, an anxious waver in her voice.
Pausing in lifting the bar Alfred turned and stared at the girl with a wild glint in his eyes, sweat drenching his skin as he heavily panted, desperately trying to get air into his burning lungs.
"Are you alright? You've been doing this nonstop all day," she pointed out to him. Looking all around Alfred noticed the time on the clock as well as the increasingly darkened sky. He didn't even realize how long it's been.
Finally he seemed to come out of his craze as he breathlessly nodded to the girl. "Y-Yeah. I guess I should get going."
Lowering the bar he set it on the rack and started removing the weights, only just now realizing how weak his arms were. He could barely lift them above his waist.
Letting out a tired heave he put the final weights in their rightful spot then wiped the sweat off his face. Walking over to his bag be gathered his clothes and a towel to wipe himself down with, taking notice of Kumajiro who was now asleep.
Getting together all his things he took the sleeping bear and set them in the baby carrier, then wearily walked out onto the late evening street.
As he slowly ate through his apples he scolded himself for getting lost in his emotions... again. Now Canada was probably gonna be pissed he was gone for so long. Whatever, as long as he got a good workout in he's fine.
"Nat!!!" Alfred screamed out, shooting upright in his bed. Cold sweat clung to his skin, making him shudder while he breathed in short and rapid breaths.
Moving his hands to his head to balled his fists through his hair and brought his knees close to him.
Why does he keep having these terrible dreams?! It's always of Natalya getting hurt, and him being the one doing it. Yelling at her, beating her, making her cry.
He could feel her pain and heartbreak dig around in his insides. In terror Alfred began to to cry silent tears. Canada mustn't hear.
Grasping his head harder he stared unblinking as the tears fell down his face. In his distraught brain he began to wonder if he really did hurt her. Why did she have to do this to him? How could she make him break his own heart doing this to her?
Little by little he forced himself to be calm again, holding his breaths and blinking away the tears. Why was he breaking so easily? He's the superpower, this will not stand.
Taking one more deep breath he looked over at his alarm clock. It was almost 4:00 A.M. with them having to get up extra early tomorrow if they wanted to get to the next world meeting in time.
The meeting. He almost forgot. For days he's been dreading having to see Natalya again, fearing having to face whatever expression she held for him. Would she back to hating him like before, or would it be one of sadness and defeat? Both sounded too miserable to bear.
Then on top of that this meeting would be taking place in London, so England was bound to be even more strict with him than normal, if that was even possible.
Fearful of tomorrow Alfred tried his best to get back to sleep, but due to being panicked both with the meeting and the nightmares he couldn't do it.
Sitting up again he contemplated how to spend his time, the only answer showing through his tired and distressed mind being to practice what to say for his presentation.
So with a reluctant sigh he got up and moved to his desk, spending the rest of the early morning scanning over his notes.
The next day it was now the night before the meeting, and once more he had a restless night of sleep, which was even worse now that he was also experiencing jet lag.
Though with having to share a hotel room with his brother he couldn't exactly turn on the lights and study his notes again, so he instead remained in bed and thought about the week ahead.
So far he's been successful in avoiding Natalya when checking into the hotel, only briefly seeing Ukraine and Russia but with their sister nowhere in sight. He wondered if she had even come.
If so then there was nothing he could do to get away from her tomorrow. He just hoped their seats weren't next to each other again.
Rubbing his eyes with a palm he tried to get out as much tiredness as possible. The meeting tomorrow would be even worse if he was passing out halfway through.
A couple hours later him and his brother were both up and getting ready, with Alfred currently in the bathroom checking over his clothes.
"Al we have to go," Canada notified him through the door. Holding himself firm Alfred looked toward the door with a smile. "I actually have to go to the bathroom real bad. You go on ahead dude, I'll catch up no problem!"
Though hesitant, Canada agreed and left, but only after advising Alfred to be quick.
Now alone Alfred looked back at the bathroom mirror, inspecting his appearance. He looked as powerful and confident as always, though he couldn't hide the bags under his eyes or the droopy hair, but that's nothing a big cup of coffee couldn't fix. His clothes were fine, though he was still worried how the nations would react to the sudden switch up.
Determining he looked well enough he quickly made himself a massive pitcher of coffee, pouring some into a coffee cup and chugging what was left in the pitcher, then he was out of there.
Running a short way down the street he made it into the government building, not encountering any nations on his trip to the meeting room.
Seeing he was the last one he stood outside the doors and held his breath. This was it, all he has to do is make it through today. Then it will surely get better from there.
With a determined nod he reached into his jacket, pulling out a burger and unwrapping half of it.
Now with a cup in one hand and food in the other the image was complete, so with a strong push he bursted through the doors and stuck his hands out with all the energy he could muster. "The hero, IS HERE!!!"
With a grunt England turned from the podium to Alfred. "Well about bloody time, you were almost-," he trailed off.
All the nations gawked at Alfred, struck speechless at his new clothing style.
He wore a deep blue suit, an even darker blue tie, his regular shoes and gloves, but his bomber jacket, it was completely green!
"Oh mon Dieu," France muttered, his face giving an unreadable look between confused and disgusted.
Canada could only stare wide-eyed, not having seen Alfred put on those clothes back at the hotel. The rest of the nations had similar reactions.
"You look like..." Canada said. "You look like Angleterre!" France shrieked, putting his hands on his head. "I thought your style was strange before, but zhis is awful!"
"You don't know the first thing about style you twit!" England yelled across the room, but Alfred just laughed over the yelling.
"Yeah dude I get it, but I can't really do anything about it right now. My awesome jacket got totally dirty so now I have to get it cleaned."
Leaving it at that he walked over and took his seat, which was between England and Canada like normal, then nodded at England to start his speech.
Pretty quickly the rest of the nations fell in line and were paying attention, all except Natalya. From across the table she stared longingly at Alfred, her heart shattering at his beaming grin.
It was obvious he was faking it, which just made her feel worse. He lied about his jacket, he's lying about his happiness, and all because of her.
She never wanted to come, she knew seeing him again would make her feel awful, but Russia insisted. Even Ukraine argued she wasn't well enough to come, but Russia believed she needed to attend and show she was still strong.
Natalya thought that was a load of crap, but ended up being dragged along anyway. And now she has to sit here as she observes her lost love suffer in silence. Nevermind that she's doing the same thing, if she wasn't surrounded by every nation right now she'd be breaking down.
Back across the table Alfred could feel a pair of eyes on him, so he glanced over at where he felt it coming from, seeing Natalya peering at him with a deep frown and hurt eyes.
For a moment his smile dropped and he looked back at her, but couldn't face her for too long and awkwardly kept his attention on the ground, already feeling worse about today.
In sadness Natalya looked away as well, only to feel a hand be placed on hers. Beside her Ukraine tried to give her support, but Natalya just yanked her hand away and crossed her arms.
Glancing at Alfred again she saw him still looking at England, but knowing she was facing him he rubbed at his upper arm in discomfort.
The two couldn't keep their eyes off of each other. It hurt every time they saw the other's face, but they couldn't help it, they really missed each other. Even Alfred, who is firmly confident she lied to him and is still trying to trick him somehow.
Ukraine watched it all from the side, physically able to see how much they needed and yearned for each other. She wasn't sure whether she was saddened to see them so devastated or amazed at how deep their young love was, detecting that small flicker of it that continued to burn in both of them.
It was beyond bizarre, however, how she was watching this unfold between the two most unlikely nations. Alfred, who seemed to always advocate for freedom and the bachelor life, and then her sister, which was self explanatory.
She wondered if anyone else was also aware of what she was seeing, knowing what was going on between those two.
Glancing around it didn't seem like anyone had taken notice, not even the person right next to Alfred. Who was it..? Oh right, Canada. She had almost forgotten.
So was she really the only one that knew of this secret? That was quite the honor, and stressful. That means she has to keep a secret as large as this away from every single nation, including her own brother.
That would not be easy, her brother tends to find ways to discover many important secrets, and those are incredibly protected by a country's government.
Pushing away those worrisome thoughts she tried to focus on the meeting, but the gloomy pair kept distracting her.
Alfred seemed to be distracted as well, because he didn't notice that he was being called up until Canada tapped his shoulder.
Snapping out of it Alfred raised his head and looked forward, seeing England glaring down at him. "About time you git, now get up there!"
Fumbling with his notes he ran up to the podium and stood above the nations, averting his eyes from Russia's section of the table.
"Alright so um... world hunger is really bad and it's totally uncool how some of us have so much and others have nothing. So we should. . . shooooould..." he quieted down as he reread his notes.
He remembers having something to say, but his head is so muddled with Natalya and keeping up his front he couldn't think straight.
"Well? Spit it out then," China urged as he crossed his arms, clearly already fed up with this presentation.
Alfred looked back at his notes and tried to focus on what he practiced, but he couldn't do it, his brain was overloaded.
So with what he did remember he decided to just roll with it. It's not like it would be much different to if he was fully prepared, he originally wanted to add some flare anyway.
"Alright! So what we need is some sort of team of cool dudes we can give our food and medicine and junk, then they go running around the world giving all of it to the people who are starving and sick and stuff. I think that we should call them the Global Hunger Super Force!"
Around the room collective laughs and groans were heard. England put two fingers to his temple and rubbed at a pulsing vein that was about ready to burst.
"Global Man, Global Hunger Super Force. When are you going to grow up?" He seethed.
Around the room a few nations nodded in agreement, while many others hid it better, but Alfred could tell. He saw how they looked at him.
Natalya saw it as well, wishing death on all that looked at Alfred that way, but she couldn't hold up her anger for long, she was exhausted. Besides, Alfred would probably just get mad at her if he caught her glaring at or threatening his "real" friends.
Gripping her hands together under the desk she looked away from the podium, pushing down her trembling.
"Sestra are you alright?" Russia whispered to her. After a brief moment she turned to face him, as stoic as she could ever be. "Of course big brother."
With a pleased smile Russia focused back on the meeting. It seemed Germany had begun to comment on Alfred's presentation.
"As convenient as zhis, "Super Force" vould be, it is too unrealistic. Instead maybe ve should create some sort of vorldvide food bank. Ve already have programs and facilities, but I sink a single central hub all zhe developed nations can donate to could actually help raise up zhe developing vones."
Around the room Germany received a good amount of support, obviously from most of the developing countries, but also a few developed countries who saw the benefit toward themselves in contributing.
As the rest of the nations began conversing on Germany's plan, in the brief moment before it all devolves into hell, Alfred read his notes once more.
That was basically what he was trying to say. It's just he thought a simple bank was boring, so making it a superhero force sounded way cooler, in his head at least.
With disappointment Alfred gathered his papers and returned to his seat, watching in an oddly quiet way as the nations talked amongst each other.
Not even Dixie was there to make fun of him for annoying the nations and getting his plan ignored.
Ever since Natalya left Dixie had gone quiet, feeling just as miserable as Alfred, if not worse given they were more adamant about her being deceitful and tricking them, only to fall in love all the same.
Alfred thought some silence from them was going to be relieving, finally he can have some peace, but in fact it only ended up making him feel lonelier.
Not wanting to draw suspicion to himself for acting out of the ordinary, Alfred stood up from his chair and walked to the group of nations. It was time to be the hero and save the nations from their own lameness and boredom.
Later in the day it was lunch break, and to the surprise of the other members of the FACE family, Alfred was nowhere to be found. Usually he's the one trying to get them together for lunch, so what's the deal with him ditching them one of the few times they actually plan on eating together?
Assuming Alfred had gone to McDonald's or some restaurant, England decided to take up the job of dragging the others along, angrily walking out of the meeting room while spewing insults about the ungrateful brat.
On their way out the 3/4ths of the FACE family passed by the Slavic family, with Russia and Ukraine sitting in a protective huddle around their little sister to let them eat without any unwanted interruptions.
Watching the angry Englishman leave with France and the other one made Russia chuckle. "I am wondering where America had been running off to? It is most odd, though it is nice to not be hearing him be loud like child, right sestra?"
Ukraine watched her sister with a disturbed expression, frowning as Natalya nodded along. "Da. I'd prefer they do that all the time."
"That would be most enjoyable," Russia agreed as he started to eat his own lunch. Ukraine shook her head in disapproval but ate her lunch as well.
One quiet lunch break later it was now time for the meeting to resume, as the nations that left began to fill back in.
Before all of them had returned Natalya decided to go use the bathroom, excusing herself from her siblings then leaving the room.
Avoiding all the people she could she made her way to the bathroom and prepared to walk in, but as she was about to enter the nearby boy's bathroom door opened.
From the room stepped out Alfred, who once seeing her went completely stiff.
The two stared directly at one another without a sound, they were barely even breathing as they gazed at the other's eyes.
Now up close and personal Natalya noticed how Alfred looked different. His bright blue eyes had lost their shimmering glow, and large black bags lined all underneath them. The usually dancing cowlick now drooped weakly from his head. Then of course there was his smile, or lack there of. He didn't even try to fake one.
The coffee had long worn off at this point, so he was once again drained of all energy. Instead of lunch he spent the whole time hiding in the bathroom, looking at his exhausted self in the mirror and trying to unwind from the stress he's accumulated so far today.
There was no point hiding this from Natalya, she looks as worn out as him. Maybe that's why she was being discreet in her trip to the bathroom.
The two continued to face each other for another couple minutes, unsure of what to say to the other. They have so many feelings, so much they feel was left unsaid, and yet when they tried nothing could come to mind.
Both opened their mouths on multiple occasions, as if they were about to speak, but whatever they wanted to say died on their tongues.
Finally Natalya tried to speak one more time, only for Alfred to hang his head down and walk away.
Closing her mouth she watched him go, her chest stinging at the sight of him walking away from her once again.
Lowering her head she looked away and entered the bathroom, overcome with a sorrow that could only be fixed with a locked stall door between her from the outside world.
Meanwhile Alfred returned to the meeting room, all that venting in the bathroom gone completely to waste.
In his gloom he barely even registered the large body beside his own, until a large hand clasped down on his shoulder.
Trailing his eyes up he was met with Russia, who's smile spread wide as they noticed Alfred's dreary expression.
"Well well, what is with the frowning? It is not suiting of you," he noted innocently.
Rolling his eyes Alfred shrugged off the arm and looked straight ahead. "I'm fine. I just need some more coffee is all."
Russia giggled childishly. That damned malicious giggle Alfred despises so much. "Good to be knowing all it is taking for you to not be acting like fool is to be removing your coffee supply."
"Fuck you," Alfred spat, the anger evident on his face. Rather than be intimidated Russia only seemed more emboldened.
"No comebacks? None of the witty banter? You never are letting me see if the insults are upsetting you."
In sudden realization Russia's eyes widened, then he let out a mocking chuckle. "Do not be telling me, you are showing the weakness!"
Furious, Alfred spun around and stood tall in front of the Russian threateningly. "Say that again and I'll show you which one of us is the weak one!"
Russia looked back down at them with cold purple eyes, his smile unwavering.
"You are denying of it, yet you are continuing to be getting provoked because of your anger. Usually you are not falling for this. Is something the matter? I would be loving to know."
"I'm fine!" Alfred hissed, then turned as he noticed the meeting was about to continue. As he walked away from Russia he could hear the sound of heavy boots behind him, so he stopped with a sigh and turned back around.
"Dude go back to your seat. Do you want Iggy on both of our asses?" He questioned, but Russia didn't move away.
"I am thinking I will be sticking close for now. I am intrigued to be finding out what has gotten you so wound up."
Alfred faced him down for a long moment, but knowing getting them to leave would only cause a scene that would expose his own bad temper, he left Russia alone and went to his seat now as a grumbling ball of rage.
Not only does he have to see Natalya but now Russia's on his case. This week is going to absolutely suck.