Loyalties:
Mass Effect Trilogy is a Bioware game. For any reference to the Official Game All rights are owned by Bioware. The Fan Fiction "Mass Effect At Dawn Again" is fruit of my imagination and my work, it is a free tribute, passionate and personal to a great video game. It is not allowed any use partial or total for profit and not.
"And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the world seemingly most indifferent..." (Taylor Caldwell)
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :))
Chapter 49
The Taste of Farewell
Karin eagerly peers at the face of Aethyta, as it is caressed by the subdued light of the room. She would like to stick in her mind every little iota about her mate. The stern face, behind which the matriarch used to hide at their start, but all of the sudden, could become amazingly sweet. The broad forehead, and the skin of her face caressed by a warm shade of blue. The like velvet appearance of it, smooth and rimmed by graceful reliefs, as abundant as stars on a moonless night. Many small precious arabesques gracefully scattered as an ornament of the skin crests and the whole contour of the face. A whole night is not enough to find two of the same.
Truth be told, the absence of eyebrows helps to magnify the soulful eyes the color of a dark sky, which are observing Karin now, lit with intriguing curiosity. Mysterious and deep eyes, eloquent and able to penetrate the most hidden side of Karin's soul. Tonight more than ever, inside those eyes is where the woman wants to dive.
However, all she can do is stand there, staring at Aethyta's gentle nose, slightly pointed, soft and anything but prominent. In a corner of her mind, Karin is vaguely aware of how dumb her face must probably look."What the heck!" She thinks, completely focused on the shape of her mate's cheekbones, which protrude just above the cheeks, and the volitive chin.
Karin's gaze lingers on Aethyta's lips, as a pleasant frisson of desire sprout up her stomach. Not too abundant, but firm lips, and deliciously colored with a deeper shade of blue. They are bright and sweet when light up in a smile. So exciting and seductive, when they blend intimately with Karin's, to take her breath away.
The atmosphere is full of anticipation. Karin feels a pleasant tingling growing under her fingertips attracted like magnets by the youthful appearance of Aethyta's skin, which cleverly deceives the age, and gives the illusion of having more time to spend together. The deep voice of the matriarch, seductive and gentle, finally dissolves the silence, awakening the woman from her pleasant contemplation.
"Close your eyes!" The Asari whispers, quickly canceling the short distance between her and Karin. She gives a lopsided smile, as she picks up both of her partner's hands in her own. Karin winces at the gentle caress of Aethyta's warm fingers, which intertwine affectionately with her own. An electric shiver builds up behind her neck and begins to run down her back. She has the distinct feeling of floating, suspended in a lake of emotion. All around, nothing but the noise of her heart, which is rumbling in her ears, like a whole orchestra of drums.
"I can't..." She can barely slur, as her senses savor the warmth of Aethyta's body just inches from her heart. Karin is intoxicated by the vanilla scent of Thyta's skin as the soft warmth of her coffee-scented breath tickles her neck with pleasant shivers. "Why not?" The warm and sensual voice of her partner fills Karin with emotion, and she has to make a considerable effort to be able to respond. "I wanna learn you by heart so that I won't forget anything about you!" She manages to say in a thread of voice.
The matriarch feels her breath fading away, in the painful sound of her heart crashing vehemently against the rib cage, like the hail of a thunderstorm punching against the glass of a window. A grip of emotion tightens her throat, sucking oxygen out of her lungs. She wants to talk, but there is no other sound coming out of her mouth except some kind of low and painful gasp.
The love she feels for Karin hits her chest like a tsunami, while the wave of tears rises up to the edge of her eyes. She pushes it back, cursing herself, and wondering when the hell it was exactly that she turned into such a half-ass. In response, her knees are starting to shake, and she must fight hard to resist the temptation to grab Karin and start running. All she wants is getting the hell out of there along with the woman she loves. Light years away from everything, just the two of them.
She feels utterly blessed that such a special creature completely reciprocates her feelings and still looks at her with eyes full of love and bold hope, despite their worst foreboding is not that far from coming true. The matriarch gives herself a moment, to take a long breath and collect every ounce of quad left in her body, then tries again to speak. "Look, I... I've something for you..." She starts to say, in such a low voice, that Karin must bring her ear to Aethyta's mouth, in order to decipher each word. "I'd like to give you a part of my memory, as well as... all of my heart!" The matriarch listens to the sound of her own voice, which now caresses the silence, with the usual low and sensual notes.
Without any warning, a quiver of emotion, mixed with fear, shakes Karin from the inside, like a gunshot. On the one hand, she is sadly aware what Aethyta's words mean. On the other, fails to suppress a subdued sense of rebellion, which is attempting to crawl out of a deep corner of her mind, ascending to the surface. Karin cannot deny to be extremely lucky for what Aethyta feels for her, and she herself fully reciprocates with so ardent intensity. She is more than aware of how much an Asari Farewell is a precious gift. The rarest thing, indeed, only offered to someone really special. Nevertheless, the woman cannot help but realize how definitive, conclusive and tremendously painful this is all about to become.
She struggles to smile as she chokes a groan at the bottom of her throat, then closes her eyes and lets it happen. "I'm ready... do it!" She states, in a dry tone, doing her best to sound convincing. Aethyta's arms hug Karin's hips tenderly, while she wraps the two of them in a vivid blue halo. They both smile for a quick, silent instant, then Aethyta's eyes take the color of Eternity.
Karin feels intense heat enveloping her skin, an insistent glow penetrating through her closed lids. She senses a slight whiff of sand, and the heat from the sun when it shines stronger. When she opens her eyes, realizes the room is gone. There is only one unfamiliar and hostile place, and the unpleasant feeling of being completely alone.
The hot air burns her lungs. Karin raises a hand to protect her eyes from the blinding light as looks around alarmed. There is silence, desolation, abandonment everywhere. Parched soil all over the place, and covered with deep cracks and fissures. No vegetation of any kind, just sand, as far as the eye can see.
Huge mountains of sand that rise all around, menacingly. Every road looks the same as any other, and the horizon is so far away that it seems out of reach. Everything is crossed by the dazzling play of light, which inevitably catch the eye, confuse it, hurt it, deceive it. Karin seems to see a shadow in the distance and starts in that direction, instinctively.
As soon as takes the first step, she reaches the horizon. She just now realizes she was wearing a dark cape down to the feet. A large hood hides her face, completely. Someone else is there. A slender figure is standing beside Karin, motionless and silent. She wears the same type of cape. The face hidden under the same headdress.
Soon, a patter of footsteps draws Karin attention. She looks up, and immediately recognizes the figure walking towards them, it is Aethyta! She is smiling as approaches. The outlandish Asari stops a few steps away, and with a gentle gesture, lowers the hood of the person next to Karin, who recognizes her immediately. She must stifle a groan of amazement, because it is Benezia!
No matter how hard she tries, cannot help but feel a great embarrassment, watching Aethyta who takes Benezia's hands. The two Asari exchange a knowing smile, as their fingers intertwine with obvious familiarity. The matriarch lays the back of Benezia's hand on her cheek and slowly caresses her own face with it. Finally, she brushes the palm of her former bondmate with her lips, kissing it gently. Karin would like to run away, but... she is aware, that she wants above all to stay!
"Oh my Nezzy, Honey! I loved you so much, and... so damn long! You broke my heart. You know that, don't you? But, it doesn't matter anymore! Goodbye, my dear Benezia!" The voice of the matriarch is affectionate, persuasive and absolutely freed from rancour, resentment. Karin feels Aethyta's eyes lay on her face, like a caress. She is still smiling as pulling Karin's hood down. Tytha's eyes offer some respite, glittering with sweetness. The matriarch takes Karin's hands, and holds them tightly. The sound of her voice is so sweet that it instantly erases any embarrassment, every fear.
"Oh Karin, my love. I love you so much, and... I wish I had more time! You stole my heart. You know that, don't you? Now it belongs only to you, and... you can feel it, forever, palpitating with love, inextricably merged with yours!" Each word produces a pleasant resonance of wonder in the awareness of Karin, who feels an explosion of emotion. Aethyta slowly draws Karin to her. Their lips merge in a single breath. They hug leisurely, letting themselves be gently carried away by the rapture of that kiss.
A light breeze rises all around to refresh the air, pleasantly. Everywhere the sand disappears, while they kiss, as if reabsorbed. The cracks in the ground heal, like wounds now healed. Green buds and fragrant plants and flowers sprout everywhere through the soil. Soon a wonderful garden takes the place of the arid desert. The motionless figure of the matriarch Benezia becomes more and more ethereal, inconsistent, until she begins to dissolve, evaporating into the void.
When Karin opens her eyes, she is back in her room, still enraptured by the gaze of Aethyta, who smiles, as if all the time, she had never stopped smiling and lighting the atmosphere all around blue. Karin feels so lightheaded with love, that cannot breathe. She wants to find the words to tell Aethyta, but doubts she will ever be able to. Perhaps such a perfect feeling cannot be described, or it is simply because of the emotion that grips her throat like a noose, and takes her voice away.
Karin is only sure of one thing. She cannot wait any longer, does not want to! Then, she dives on Aethyta's lips, and lets herself be flooded! The hands of her lover run passionately Karin's body, wrapping it intimately, undoing dress buttons, and languidly looking for her skin, so thirsty for that contact. Aethyta's dress also slips on the floor. Their skin finally touches, caresses, lights up, joins, and then burns in the unstoppable hurricane of the senses...
Minds merge into a single thought, moving in unison. Time loses any interest and meaning. Everything turns into enchantment, between the folds of the sheets, on the thrilled bodies tied together, greedily. Bodies and souls brushed with sighs, burned with love, suffocated with emotion. The lovers abandon themselves, completely immersed in each other. They get submerged with caresses, nourished with sighs, suffocated with kisses. Tirelessly, relentlessly, passionately, for a whole night.
The first lights of the morning surprise them still enraptured as they hold tighter. Finally, embracing them in the most intimate ecstasy and memorable of a lifetime. The most incredible and unforgettable. The happiest, the saddest. The most unrepeatable, and perhaps... the last one! They embrace in silence, both forcefully rejecting the horrible and extreme perspective. Their glances touch each other as they stay tenderly together, without any words, shining long with love and sweetness.
Shepard is still, wrapped in sheets, eyes closed, the peaceful face, as if she were asleep. Karin has been watching her for a few hours now. Everything is fine. After last night's crisis, the Commander reported no permanent effect. After taking a few follow-up scans, the doctor breathed a sigh of relief and administered her a generous dose of sedative to prevent further stressful situations.
She has been sitting next to her friend's bed since this morning, and has no intention of walking away from her, not for a second. For the first time in many months, Shepard has not yet perceived the presence of Liara, her voice, the contact of her hands so long. Karin thinks that Shepard is probably waiting for Liara and fears that she might get worried, not hearing her coming. That's why she has no intention of leaving her friend alone. The doctor lays a hand on Shepard's shoulder and squeezes it gently, swept by a surge of affection. "Hold on, Commander... It's gonna be over soon!" She whispers to herself in a barely audible sigh.
Karin sits more comfortably as strives not to think. Nevertheless, she feels utterly dazed, in the throes of a dark hum of thoughts, fluttering in her head like voracious predatory insects. The opening of the automatic door comes unexpectedly, and causes a somersault of her heart. Aethyta appears on the threshold, the fearless gaze, lips barely sketched in a grimace of determination. Liara is standing beside her. The nervous eyes that constantly move from Shepard to Karin and back. The face of the young Asari is tense, her lips stiff in consternation. She looks tired, worried, and it is more than obvious that she is not happy at all to be there. Karin realizes there can only be one reason for that.
Anxiety moves inside her stomach, and bites like a hungry varren that pounces on a succulent piece of meat. Fear knots around her neck like a noose as she gasps for air enough to breathe. "Here we are!" Thinks with a sigh of nervous energy, as she rises on impulse, trying to shake off the tension. The matriarch comes to meet Karin, looking her in the eye, the ostentatiously serene face. When they hug tenderly, Karin feels like she is about to pass out. Their eyes sink into an unmistakable gaze full of love. They caress each other with light fingers, shyly brushing their lips, in a caring greeting.
"Are you okay?" Karin can barely ask, in a voice too much shrill not to reveal what is stirring in her stomach. "Yeah, Sweetie, no trouble, and... you?" The matriarch confirms calmly, while reading in her partner's eyes the answer she is not ready to hear. "Sure, don't worry, I'm... I am fine!" Karin lies, knowing it is not gonna sound convincing. "Before starting, I'd like to check you out, look weary!" The woman hastens to add, and turns on her omnitool saying so, as if she were looking for an excuse to lower her gaze. Karin has to at least admit to herself that she is just trying to buy some time. "Good!" Aethyta agrees, realizing in parallel that she spoke too quickly not to reveal the ball of tension, which is painfully bouncing from her stomach to the heart.
"No, it's not good at all!" Liara thinks, intent on observing the scene, sitting on the sidelines next to Shepard's bed. She squeezes her hand tightly, weaving her fingers into her mate's. A sense of oppression presses strongly against the rib cage of the young Asari all the time. She is seized with an unpleasant choking sensation, as listens to her heart strafe against her chest, furiously.
No matter how hard she is trying, Liara refuses to accept and take part in such a definitive and radical plan, for several reasons. For one thing, she knows Shepard even too well, and knows she would never approve. In the second place, she loves her father and suffers at the very thought of losing her. Last but not least, Liara has already experienced how painful it is losing the loved one in such a devastating way. She would not wish it on her most bitter enemy, let alone a dear friend like Karin. The young Asari prays for more time to think, and hopes with all her heart to find another solution, a better alternative.
She takes a deep breath and does her best to keep the emotion in check. She needs to be able to stay calm and look as convincing as possible to Shepard's ears. "Hi, Emy. Here I come, Love... It's all right, just don't worry!" As she listens to her own voice uttering every word, Liara deludes herself that saying it out loud is all it takes to make it true, but in vain.
Karin has been focused scanning Aethyta for a few minutes already. Time slips by indifferently, marked by the murmur of medical devices. The doctor's omni-tool shuts down after an indefinite time. Her gaze, however, gets caught between the floor tiles. "Well, I'd say you're alright! When you want..." She reports without enthusiasm, ignoring the increasingly worrying feebleness of her knees. The contact of her mate's fingers that brush her face, sends a warm shiver throughout her body. Karin just wants to scream, and needs every fiber of will to hold back the tears and keeping a cool head to handle the moment.
The matriarch is standing in front of Karin, too close to keep her heart from pausing for an unspecified number of seconds, as if frozen in her chest. The woman feels the touch of Aethyta's fingers under her gently raised chin, as Aethyta's eyes fall into her stormy eyes. Both with the same absolute need to sink into that mutual gaze, to feel that thrill again, to be lost in that formidable storm of the heart, for one last, unforgettable time.
Karin ardently approaches Aethyta's lips, gets carried away in her arms, overwhelmed by the strength of the embrace. She clings to her partner's lips, canceling the wait, desperately intoxicated by the euphoria of her kiss. They feel the emotion explode, embrace each other tightly, intimately. They merge in every quiver, overflow in every cell, spread into each other's soul, until the last indelible palpitation of love, and then... Then, the words, which both hoped never to utter, cut the silence, like a cold blade generated by the very core of darkness.
"Goodbye Thyta! No idea where you're going, but... I know for a fact I love you, and you'll stay here forever, merged with my soul, no matter what!" Karin speaks in a somber and subdued tone. She barely realizes that her words have a sound and meaning, as if they were an echo from another dimension. "Goodbye, Karin!" The matriarch echoes in a deep voice. "I love you too, Sugary, and sure as hell... wherever you go, I'm never being too far from you!" Aethyta also vibrates with emotion, as she listens to her own words rolling between her lips and filling the silence with sweetness and deepness. However, the aftertaste is unpleasant, painful and bitter.
These are the hardest tears in life to hold back, yet her voice is warm and confident as she bids Karin last farewell. "Promise me you won't waste your time crying! Live every moment to the fullest, raise hell to be happy, and... if by chance you meet love again... please, sweetheart... don't be brainless enough to let it get away!" Karin stares at her mate in silence for a full minute. Dazed and absent gaze, as if she did not want to realize where she is and what is happening around her. As if she did not understand the meaning of Aethyta's words, or would not listen to them. Finally, for no apparent reason, her face regains color. "I'll try at least, but... that's all I can promise!" She hears herself sighing, as looks at the creature she loves, with already damp eyes of melancholy.
Although Liara has been trying to control herself the whole time, her eyes are full of tears. There is nothing she can do to stop them from slipping down her cheeks and burning her skin like fire in the process. She feels too much pain not to cry. The young Asari looks at her father, trying to stifle a groan, but in vain. "Father, please don't! No one expects you to. That's insane! We'll find another way... I... I'm gonna find another way!" She begs, staring at Aethyta with her beautiful eyes full of tears.
The no longer young Asari feels pervaded with tenderness and dismay as she approaches her daughter in broad strides. She smiles tenderly, as spreads her arms to welcome her child. They squeeze tightly, in a moving silence. Aethyta gently caresses Liara's back with the palm of her hands, and she feels her heart so swollen, like if about to burst. She admits she still has some regrets, but now... no remorse or fear anymore. She lived intensely, a very long life... it is simply time to go! It is not just the natural order of things, because bringing Shepard back, giving her back to Liara's love, is her responsibility. There is no other way, and Thyta is not going to back down.
The father holds her daughter's face in her hands, with fatherly tenderness, staring intensely at the blue of her eyes, one last time. "Hey, don't cry, little one! Promise you cut out the fucking guilt once and for all!" Aethyta pauses meaningfully, hoping to hide the emotion in her voice. "Remember, kiddo... I love you, and I'm damn proud of you! Tell Shepard she was right... she'll understand!" Liara caresses her father's hands, with trembling fingers, no longer bothering to hold back her tears. She whispers a promise, which she regrets having done even before finished to say it. "Oh, Dad! Alright... I... promise!" Liara eventually folds in a faltering voice.
"Thanks!" Thyta breathes a sigh of gratitude. She puts her hands on Liara's shoulders and gently tightens her fingers. "Join Karin now." The matriarch says, gently. "Don't stay too close to me, both of you, and..." As she speaks, looks over Liara's shoulder to meet the gaze of Karin, who returns with an imperceptible nod. Finally, the father looks at her daughter once again. "May take a few hours, but don't sweat it, Shepard will wake up... I promise!" So saying, she sets off to the bed with steady step.
This is it! The dreaded time is coming. Aethyta closes her eyes, needs to clear her mind in order to get the maximum concentration. She enters a state of deep meditation, and for a few minutes, expands her consciousness. Nothing can upset her. The Priestess of Athame lets her mind expand and be permeated by all that surrounds her, becoming part of it, finding the perfect harmony with creation, and finally, the deep inner peace. Liara's hand clings firmly to Karin's as they both look at Aethyta, standing side by side, holding their breath, hearts lost in a blizzard.
Aethyta is standing on the left side of Emily's bed, right in front of the sleeping woman. She opens her eyes, just gives a hint of a smile, as she takes Shepard's hands and lifts them, interlacing fingers with fingers. Shepard is still, wrapped in sheets, eyes closed, the peaceful face, as if she were asleep. The matriarch caresses with her eyes that face, immutable and beautiful in one last affectionate greeting, that of farewell!
The Asari's millennial body is surrounded by an intense blue halo, which slowly begins to expand and, through her hands, is transmitted to Shepard. Just on the fingers of the sleeping woman, at first. Then, the thin biotic cloud widens and wraps both her hands, gradually ascending her arms. It covers her body, radiates on her face, and surround her, completely. The human and the Asari merge with an indissoluble bond and deep, while Aethyta's eyes are dyed of Eternity, one last time.
As the biotic field fluctuates, suspended in the void, it becomes more intense, consistent. Colored in bright green, it hovers in the room. It heightens even more, turns yellow, shines with light, expands its energy, vibrates, shakes, turning into a powerful pure white glow, which envelops them both, completely.
The matriarch's eyes become completely white, and her body lights up with a blinding light. It only takes a few moments for her silhouette to begin to dissolve, within that luminous aura, becoming more and more ethereal, inconsistent, until it splits, breaks down into atoms, and then disappears. Everything about her turns into pure vital energy, magically held within the biotic field, which vibrates, palpitating around Shepard's body, mingling with her, absorbing into her skin, penetrating into her tissues, merging into each of her cells, permeating her body with a mysterious energy, and then slowly evaporating until it disappears, completely.
It is really over! Shepard is still, wrapped in sheets, eyes closed, the peaceful face, as if she were asleep. The biotic field has dissolved, dispersed into the still electric air. The matriarch Aethyta has disappeared, there is nothing left of her! Karin and Liara are still holding hands and none of them cannot stop shaking. The two friends look at each other in disbelief, astonished. They hug tightly, seeking mutual consolation, but in vain. They remain voiceless for a long time, surrounded only by the desolate humming of the terminals, and by the melancholy pulse of their broken heart. Their bodies racked with tremors, which seem to never end. Karin feels swallowed up by a great void, unbridgeable and inevitable. In the desperate silence of her soul, she realizes that she is in thrall to a cruel disease, for which she will never get a cure!
Suddenly, a guttural scream erupts from Karin's throat, piercing through the silent darkness. "No ... Oh, Thy-ta, no! I ca-n't lo-se you ... I do-n't wan-na! Do-n't lea-ve me ... Do-n't ...!" Fragments of words, stammered between sobs, blow in her head like vicious gong beats. Karin struggles in the dark, her eyes widening, but she cannot see anything. The outstretched arms of hers cut through the air as she trudges out of breath, like if someone were forcibly held her head under a mountain of water up to the limit of drowning.
She coughs spasmodically as deep sobs, saliva, and despair come out of her mouth. She can only chase her own breath, listening to the rhythm of her heart, which grumbles from within, in blows of a mad maul. Although her body is drenched in sweat, she realizes she is shaking, noticeably. In the darkness she is shaken back and forth by rapid uncontrolled chills, which have the strength of powerful tugs. "Thyta... Thyta... you... no, no... no, you..." Karin moans in a disconsolate litany, overcome by a savage pain, which she cannot control.
"Hey, sweetie, it's okay!... It's okay! Calm down, now... I'm right here!... Holy tits, here!... Look at me, love!" Karin does not dare to open her eyes, but she feels the touch of soft fingers, which lie on her face, touching her hair, tenderly. She recognizes the gentle caress of loving hands, which wrap around her trembling shoulders and now are squeezing them in an incredibly realistic way. She indulges in the gravel and wondrous melody of the still sleepy, but unmistakably familiar voice, which resounds worried in the room. Words expand in Karin incredulous ears, pleasantly. They make her still disoriented and fragile soul vibrate to the depths, with the effect of a salvific balm, with the harmony of the most heavenly music.
Karin struggles to clear up hordes of suffocating thoughts that cloud her mind. She does not hope for, and yet that voice... seemed so real. She would like to have the courage to look, but does not want kidding herself, does not dare to believe, but... she prays! With all of herself, Karin prays to open her eyes and see the face of the wonderful creature she loves. "Thyta!" She cries out, with the last breath left in her throat. "Are you... right there? Oh, please... just tell me you're real!" The charming Asari sits in the dark in front of Karin and stares at her with warm blue eyes wide open, which twinkle thoughtfully in Karin's incredulous eyes. "Yeah, you betcha I am, babe!" She is quick to confirm. "It was just another bloody nightmare!" Thyta hastens to add in a reassuring tone as she turns the light on, to prove the truth of her own words.
The warm light of the bedside lamp spreads in the room like a dim pale yellow waterfall. Karin recognizes one by one the objects around her. The outline of the desk, and her beloved microscope. Her eyes carefully explore the profiles of the two armchairs leaning against the wall. Finally, the gaze of the woman focuses on the essential shape of the unmade bed on which she realizes she is kneeling. Karin still looks in disbelief at her legs, hands and the bare skin of her forearms. Above all, recognizes the glamorous Asari sitting next to her and wrapped only in a skimpy piece of sheet. She reaches out to touch Thyta's shoulder and feeling her toned skin under her fingertips gives her a thrill of pleasure. She smiles with tears in her eyes as she throws herself into her mate's arms, without waiting any longer. "I dreamed you were..." Karin stammers out, unable to complete the sentence. "... Dead?" The matriarch continues for her, driving away a dangerous sense of concern. She thinks back to her father and mentally repeats his words.
"Don't you dare give up hope, daughter, ever! The ways of love are pretty unpredictable, and... may your mother be my witness... as hot as hell!"
"Thanks, dad!" Thyta thinks with a crooked smile, turning to Karin in a seductive tone. "Well, sexy sugar... I suppose I feel too much horny to be dead!" Her lips seek Karin's as the sheet slips slowly onto the floor.
To be Continued...