Loyalties:

Mass Effect Trilogy is a Bioware game. For any reference to the Official Game All rights are owned by Bioware. The Fan Fiction "Mass Effect At Dawn Again" is fruit of my imagination and my work, it is a free tribute, passionate and personal to a great video game. It is not allowed any use partial or total for profit and not.

Author's note - I did my best to make the plot plausible from a scientific point of view. Nevertheless, my best might not be enough! :) Please be patient for any probable scientific inaccuracies. I hope they will not make reading less interesting. Enjoy! :)

Chapter 52

The Catalyst

Carefully setting a return course, Feron watches the silent darkness out there. A few more days of patience will be enough to reach Earth. A few more days of patience will be enough to see Her again! Not that he has not watched her every day, and for a long time, within the vivid plasticity of his mind. Admittedly, the Drell have a way with memories. Truth be told, there is not a single moment spent with her that he is not able to relive, intensely. Inside his head, in the heart, and in the depth of his soul. However, it has been nearly five months since he left London. He misses Her, immensely.

Anyway, the route is already set. The autopilot will do its good job tonight. Just needs to wait. Feron gets up, no hurry. It only takes a few steps to reach his destination. She is a battered little ship, but he must admit to being very happy with how comfortable his bunk has become. He grabs a steaming cup, slowly brings it to his lips, relishing the hot drink. "Coffee, yeah!" He smiles to himself in satisfaction. "Humans have a lot of great drinks!" Thinks, delighting in how good he has become at preparing it. Feron sits on the bed and takes off his boots. Finally, he can begin to relax and get carried away by the evolutions of his mind. To linger, in the sweet flowing of his dearest memories. Memories of Her.

The last few months have been long, intense, important. He is very proud of his work, and the outcome of the mission. If everything goes according to plan, and honestly, there are no reasons why it would not, he can finally pay off his old debt! The Drell widens his eyes, while the tired limbs seek refreshment in the soft contact with the mattress. The mind recalls memories, which are not long to surface. He focuses on the vision, which explodes around him, vivid, intense and detailed. The images follow one another, unstoppable in his brain. They invade all of him, like a wave of emotion. They run through his body, like warm chills, down his spine.

Noises, smells, scents and sensations drag him into a vortex of memories, which acquire shape and size. Liara's face appears before him with the particular beauty of memories. The bluest, clearest, deepest eyes that he has ever seen are staring at him from the stage of his mind, incredulously. They vibrate, widen, are veiled with tears that shimmer, uncertain, struggling wildly, not to slide down. "Dead?" She asks, with what seems to be her last breath. "Yes, or... very close to it!" He replies, reluctantly. Listening, helplessly, to the sound of his own voice, saying the last thing he would have wanted to say to the sad and charming stranger.

Although he has repeated himself a hundred times that he is doing his job, feels embarrassment reverberating in the echo of every word he says. He cannot help but feel sorry for the young Asari standing in front of him. The strength of her feelings is unmistakable.

She is Tu-fira (lost in another), and the human in the stasis pod must have been very special! Feron feels overwhelmed by the intensity of indestructible love, which thickens around Liara, like a protective aura. The strength of her pain is so intense that it dragged her damn far away from her world, right to Omega's venomous womb and ruthless. She is shrouded in despair and does not seem to care at all about the danger. She clings to the thin thread of hope, which still feeds her courage, supports her determination and fights her fear. Feron sincerely respects and admires anyone capable of such a pure and deep feeling!

...The memories get dark. He was not honest with Her! Guilt gnaws at his heart, punches his stomach, relentlessly. He had no intention of causing her any more pain, but he had to get by. "Goddess of Oceans, how beautiful she is! How can such a beautiful creature be so unhappy?" He cannot stop wondering. The urge to help her, slowly creeps into the folds of his consciousness. It screams louder and louder, one second after another and then again. He would like to rekindle her smile, really would, more than anything else! He understood what he has to do by now.

"Liara, whatever happens, you get Shepard's body, and the data out of here. Preferably both!" Recommends her, a moment before he starts shooting. He looks at her one last time, as he gets dragged into Tazzik's ship, hauling as many goons and Collectors as possible in the process. Their eyes meet for a second carved in stone and time. Her lips are stiff with alarming awe. The face of hers trembles with gratitude and sadness, helplessness and anger, disappointment and fear. He remembers the last thing she said. The thoughtful voice of hers caresses his heart now as then. "Don't worry Feron, words aren't the only things that speak the truth!"

She trusts him! Whatever happens, she understands that can trust him, from now on! He had never felt so madly"Tu-fira" before! It is an insistent feeling, which digs caves of pain deep down and becomes indelible, evident, wonderful. He will never win her heart. He always knew that. Her friendship, however, makes him feel good. Nothing in the universe has ever seemed so precious to him! The Drell are sensitive, deep creatures. They can love unconditionally, with intimate respect, without ever asking anything in return. For a long time now, she has become the most important thing. He feels like she is exploding in his soul, burning under the skin. When he looks at her, feels alive, like never before. The way she respects him, the trust, her precious friendship, will definitely be enough, because... he just knows how making them enough!

...In fact, it is enough, while he is screaming and clenching his fists, as hard as he can! Wrists tied to the goddamn chair, securely. He thinks of her, while he is struggling not to go crazy with pain. He thinks of her, trying hard to ignore the humiliation. She is where he takes refuge every day, not to let in sadness, loneliness, fear and discouragement. Not to surrender to the terrible sense of powerlessness, which robs him of hope, while he waits, for the fulfillment of his terrible destiny, defencelessly. No regrets! He would do it a thousand times and then a thousand more! He was able to rescue her! With his help, she has recovered the body of the human she loves, and all the precious data. Who knows, maybe she will have finally found some peace. He really hopes so. Anyway, the Collectors failed, and so did the Shadow Broker. Nothing else matters! Time passes so slowly, every night is like the day, every day is like another. Silence and pain, uncertainty and confused resignation. Along the thread of memories, loneliness has such a bitter taste... "Where will she be?"

...Gunshots, crashes, shouts of battle snatch him from his tired numbness. The Shadow Base appears to be under attack. Perhaps, some enemy of the Broker has come to seek revenge. There must be many, judging by the terrible din. Maybe someone will get him out of there before it is too late. Before he goes crazy, before... The door to his prison opens, or so he thought. He feels groggy, utterly confused. He even seems to hear her voice... "Feron!" He does not remember ever being happier in his entire life! He is sure he is dreaming, yet she seems so real. His heart stops, suddenly. The stomach climbs towards the throat. When his breath goes away, it never seems to come back! He did not think he would see her again! And yet she is real. He dared not hope that she would come for him. "Liara?" He whispers, without too much conviction. Instead, she really answers him. "Oh, Kalahira! She looks even more beautiful!" He thinks, letting himself be lulled by her thoughtful words. "Feron, hold on... we're getting you out of here!"

She did not come alone. He immediately recognizes Miranda Lawson, but the other human woman... No, no, it cannot be! He saw with his own eyes, the poor remains, in the stasis pod! Nevertheless, Liara just called the woman: Shepard! "Goddess of Oceans! So, she came back from Across the Sea! Siha must have taken human form!" She looks so strong and loyal, charming and lethal. Invincible! Now it is clear why Liara defied the fury of Omega to snatch Shepard from the Collectors, why she risked her life for her, why in her eyes still shines so much Love! He feels genuinely happy for Liara. No doubt, Shepard is Tu-fira too! Together, they will be happy, from now on. He perceives it, clearly. Nevertheless, She came to save him! She came back for him! This is enough for his heart, which overflows with joy, as he closes his eyes, overwhelmed with emotion.

...Messy and delusional memories. Fear and chaos. Freedom against all odds! It is finally over! Liara will be the new Shadow Broker! She is his friend. He looks at her staggered. "How can she look so beautiful!" He cannot stop wondering, as listens in raptures to the melody of her voice. "Stay, Feron. You're welcome here! There's plenty of room. You can get back to your senses and rest. Afterwards, if you wanna join me in this undertaking, you'll be absolutely precious to me!"

...Memories fly with wings of bliss. Staying by her side, as long as she wants! So, this is his destiny. Sounds like the best fate that he ever had. "Thanks Boss, can't wait to get started!" She smiles at him. He trembles with emotion. There is nothing he would not do to help her. He owes her his life and gives her his heart. He just needs to see her happy! Now he has a debt to pay.

...Web of dark memories. Death, destruction, and hopes hanging by a thread. Long, painful endless battles, and one last heroic attempt. When all seemed lost forever, the Crucible... destruction... the end of the Reapers! Inebriation in triumphant memories. "She's alive! She's alive! She's alive!" He repeats to himself, with high cries of inner joy, as he looks stunned at Liara's face on the communicator's screen. Eyes wide open to joy, which overwhelms his heart and makes it bounce against his chest, wildly. Happiness freezes his voice, for a long, endless moment. He needs to try to stay calm so he can talk to her again. "Feron, can you hear me? Thanks the Goddess you're alive! I'm so happy to see you, my friend! But, tell me how are you doing and where are you?" Liara pampers him with questions, eager to hear from him.

"L-Li-Liara! Goddess of Oceans, you're alive! I'm fine, but we've suffered many losses! Until, the damn bastards started frying and falling one after the other, to the four corners of the galaxy! At least half of our agents have not reported yet!... Maybe someone is still on their way... Long-range communications are damaged, so... We can still hope! I'm in London, at an Alliance Refugee Relief Base... I'm just helping! But, how about you? How are you doing?... Where?... And, Shepard... It was... It was she who activated the Crucible wasn't it?"

She has got that look again! Tears make her big sad eyes shine, as struggling wildly not to slide down. "Oh, Feron! She was buried alive! We're in London now. I'm fine, but... Shepard is in a coma... She can't wake up!"

...Feron's heartbeat accelerates, in the stillness of his bed. In complete solitude of his small ship, his mind rewrites every detail of his encounter with Liara. His heart gallops fast in his chest, as he relives the wave of emotions he felt that day in London, as he embraced her, as he listened to her tell. He shares her anxiety, as he did that day. Shares in her sadness, all her pain and the unbearable sense of emptiness. Both are "Tu-fira," lost in another! But, she can still hope. She confides in him that she has a plan, tells him everything, with eyes full of expectations.

He listens to the complexity of the matter, deeply concentrated, without losing a word. According to Dr. Chakwas, it is necessary to act on the electrical processes responsible for cellular stimulation. She believes that an intense pulse of energy, administered in a controlled manner, would be able to over-excite Shepard's entire neural network. This should restore the regular activity of the synapses and the cerebral cortex. Theoretically, it would be possible to involve all of Shepard's vital functions in an intense process of cellular stimulation at the subatomic level. But, such a level of energy cannot be controlled! According to Miranda, on the other hand, a brain chip could be devised, capable of catalyzing targeted and enhanced neural impulses through biotic energy, directly into Shepard's brain.

He realizes that an idea as risky as dangerous is swirling around Liara's head! She can release intense biotic energy. Furthermore, she is able to merge her nervous system with Shepard's. During the merging, it could be electrically stimulated, with a targeted rush of pure energy. This process, could be the most scientifically close to the concept of "reactivation of vital energy" ever tried so far! Probably just what Shepard needs. That is in theory. Feron is not a scientist. However, he can understand that such a massive, and indeterminate, radiation of energy, if not perfectly channeled and controlled, could kill Shepard, instantly. If that happens while her nervous system is merged with Liara's, they could both die!

"Are you insane? You could kill her! Indeed... at worst, you both will die!" He protests, in a screeching tone. In a vain attempt to make her give up. "I know, Feron! I understand the risks... That's why, it will only be the last, extreme attempt, but... if my memories don't bring her back... I won't be left with many other options!" She looks at him, musing face. "I may have an idea, my friend, but... I need your help!" He knows, Liara will never give up. She will go through with it, with or without him. And, one thing is for sure, he is not going to leave her alone. "Sure, Boss... whatever!" He confirms, solemnly.

...Although almost five months have passed since then, Feron remembers every single detail of that day, vividly. His mission is important, and he is trembling with eagerness. He left London and just finished setting the course. The cargo bay is crammed with supplies, obtained through the intercession of Admiral Hackett. The rest of the available space stuffed with Communication Buoys, which will be released at predetermined points along the intercept course. The primary objective is to reach the Migrant Fleet stationed at the Charon Portal. According to calculations, it will take no more than two weeks at sublight speed. The Quarian are helping to repair the Portal, with all their technological prowess. They hope to be able to pass through it relatively quickly: a year, perhaps less. Meanwhile, the Quarian still on Rannoch will repair the Portal of the Tikkun System, allowing what remains of the Migrant Fleet to return home.

...Tali's passphrase worked. After completing the docking maneuver to the Moreh, the quarantine and disinfection procedures have been tedious and endless. But now he is in the presence of one of the leading experts in advanced weapons and synthetic intelligence in the entire galaxy. Admiral Daro'Xen Vas Moreh is staring at him from behind the glass of her helmet, with a large question mark fixed on her face. Feron tries to hide the discomfort behind the bolder expression he can coin, as struggles not to look down. Not an easy task, given the reputation of the hostess.

Daro'Xen has a glacial appearance to say the least and an immense knowledge of the most sophisticated systems for implementing intelligent weapons. She has given an essential contribution to the Crucible project. In the scientific field, she is considered the leading living expert on A.I, but is equally famous for her brusque manners and razor-sharp tongue. So, best not to test her patience and get straight to the point. "Admiral Daro'Xen, I'm absolutely honored to meet you. I bring greetings from Dr T'Soni. Commander Shepard needs all of your genius!" He solemnly announces.

"I'm listening." Although the Admiral's face is almost completely hidden behind the opalescence of her helmet, Feron clearly catches a flash of light illuminating her gaze, as she examines the video that Liara and Miranda recorded, to better illustrate the Project. This is a very ambitious plan, which is to build a kind of "Neural Activator," assisted by a pocket-sized energy catalyst as small as it is effective. Powered by eezo, equipped with the most advanced V.I possible. It must be able to calculate, control and contain high levels of power, channeling them into extremely small rays, directed, when necessary, into specific areas of Shepard's body. The device must determine exactly the amount of radiation required, with absolutely no margin of error. At the same time it must constantly absorb the excess, thanks to an adaptive shield.

It is essential to maintain stable power and controlled irradiation. Shepard's nervous system will be merged with Liara's throughout the process, and an intense biotic wave will go through her body. The cells of Shepard's nervous system must be irradiated directly, with the exact non-lethal amount of energy needed, without causing any damage. "...It would have been feasible, with Edi's help. Unfortunately, no AI survived the Crucible, and Glyph is not advanced enough to adequately support us in the project!" Liara's video recording ends.

Daro'Xen's analytical mind is already thinking of an Advanced Virtual Intelligence, able to manage the Neural Activator and act as a Catalyst of Liara's Biotic wave. "I'm impressed!" She admits, looking at the Drell, with a thrill of excitement. "So, you'll help us..." Feron ventures, cautiously. "Obviously, I could do that. Sounds intriguing, I'll get right to work." The Admiral states with ostentatious confidence. Feron manages not to smile, but cannot hold back a long sigh of relief.

...The memories of waiting aboard the Moreh flow slowly. Feron is a discreet presence. Most of the crew is very busy repairing the Portal. Only a few teams are involved in fully restoring the Ship's functionality, which was damaged in the final assault against the Reapers. Operations are proceeding at a slow pace. Also for this reason, the Captain willingly accepted the help of Feron, who kills time by participating in repairs.

...Daro'Xen's thirst for scientific knowledge is insatiable. Liara and Miranda Lawson's project is more than stimulating. Actually, she is making several improvements and has more than one reason not to fail! The Quarians owe a great debt of gratitude to Shepard. It's only because of her, if after more than 200 years of exile, they can finally return to their home world. On the other hand, the Commander saved the Galaxy and Xen is aware of that. She does not intend to give up the prestige and gratitude that the Council and the Alliance will reserve for anyone who finds a way to awake Commander Shepard from her endless slumber. Failure is not an option, everything considered.

...Xen has been locked in her lab for months. She works hard, day after day, night after night, tirelessly. The Neural Activator Prototype is almost ready. The Catalyst's Advanced Virtual Intelligence has been updated to Shepard's entire medical database. All biological parameters, current and historical, have been entered. Including the sensitive physiological changes induced by the Lazarus Project. For weeks, the Admiral has been carrying out in-depth studies of human biology in general, and of the nervous system in particular. According to her calculations, it is theoretically possible to irradiate Shepard's cells, using micrometric beams of non-lethal energy, capable of directly stimulating her neural net at electrochemical level. This process should reactivate the synthetic neural nano electrolytes injected into Shepard's brain during the reconstruction phase of her internal organs, which were overloaded due to the activation of the Crucible, and caused a cognitive blackout in her brain. The Catalyst that Xen has just completed should be able to manage and control the intensity of Liara's biotic wave, and at the same time, to prevent energy leaks outside Shepard's body. In any case, the device is equipped with a safety system, capable of canceling the entire process, should the Commander's vital signs exceed predefined tolerance levels. Finally, it is time to start the simulation test and final tuning!

...Feron is holding the Neural Activator in his hands. It looks like a traditional omni-tool. The only noticeable difference is the intense electric blue color, instead of the usual orange. It is able to manage and connect two Brain Helmets, one Conductor and one Catalyst, which will transmit biotic impulses from Liara's brain to Shepard's neural network. It's time to deliver to Daro'Xen the sealed and encrypted message, which Liara has recorded as the Shadow Broker. The development of artificial intelligences is still a controversial subject for the Citadel races. For this reason, it is necessary to make sure that the Admiral will not keep the plans for herself, nor attempt to use this type of technology for purposes forbidden by present and future Council directives. The new message is only vocal. The counterfeit tone, typical of the Shadow Broker, resonates ominously in the large half-empty room.

The memory is entirely engraved in Feron's mind, word for word. The menacing tone sends a cold shiver down Xen's spine. "You must hand over to Dr. T'Soni all the blueprints of the device and never use this technology for no other purpose! If you break your word, the Council will receive unequivocal evidence of your active involvement in Admiral Rael'Zorah's illegal experiments on Geth AI, activated aboard the Alarei. Your secret partnership with him will become public knowledge and you won't avoid a trial for treason. Remember! I've very influential connections. I'll see to it that you are stripped of your scientific assignments and the rank of Admiral. Don't challenge me, or you'll be banished from Rannoch and the Flotilla for the rest of your days!" The metallic screeching ceases suddenly. The silence that follows has the taste of a lavish reward.

Xen's fingers tremble as she presses on the omni-tool, nervously. She feels her cheeks on fire. She can barely transfer all project data to Feron's omni-tool, while keeping cool. Still wonders how the hell did the Shadow Broker know of her involvement in the events of the Alarei! Of course, she could deny everything, but an investigation would still be opened. The stakes are too high, and she knows that the Shadow Broker's evidence could really convict her. She thinks fast and concludes she can't afford that kind of risk. Xen voice does not completely hide a veil of discomfort, while assuring...

"The Shadow Broker has my word! Helping Commander Shepard has been an honor, there's no need for threats. In any case, there're no other prototypes of the Activator and not even of the Catalyst. They are single pieces! I will never use this technology again. You've my word as an Admiral as well as a scientist. Give my regards to Doctor T'Soni. Tell her I really hope Commander Shepard wakes up!" That said, the Admiral turns her back and starts, with a majestic gait, without the slightest nod of greeting. The echo of her footsteps is the only thing left in the room.

Feron is on his way back on Earth for a few days. Memories are holding him by the hand, but time never seems to pass. He gets up to make yet another cup of coffee. It will take a few more hours of patience to reach Earth. A few more hours of patience will be enough to see her again!

To be Continued...