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I apologize in advance, there may be a bit of a hiatus between uploads. I want to make sure the rest of the story flows well, so I will write more than I usually do before posting again. Leave a review, it really helps me. Thank you and enjoy.
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It did not take her long to find Jason's grave, she passed the Wayne grave on her way there and saw a single black rose sitting at the base of the head stone. Some of the petals had fallen off, so she surmised it had been there for a day or two. Jason's grave had a matching black rose seated at the base. She stood there a while before she felt him behind her. Turning around she saw that Bruce Wayne had come and not the Batman.
"What are you doing here?"
"I refuse to let you grieve alone any longer."
"I'm afraid you don't have a say in that." He turned to leave; if he stayed any longer he might start feeling the loss of Jason again, and that was not an option right now.
"You're the most intelligent man I know, Bruce. Can you not see what you're causing? What you're risking?"
"If the Justice League actually needs me, I'll come."
"And what of your duty, your promise to the world? What happened to helping everyone you could?"
This got his attention, he spun around. "I made no such promise! I promised to defend Gotham!"
"And did you promise that no boy would have to hold his dying parents in Gotham?! Yes! Go ahead, keep lying to yourself and everyone around you! That eight year old boy didn't promise vengeance upon Gotham as you'd like everyone to think; you've gotten vengeance in spades and yet you still fight! And the man standing before me doesn't dedicate every waking hour to his work because he hates criminals!"
"How would you know?! Who have you had to lose?! Who will you have to lose?! Your mother and sisters are immortal!"
Diana's blood boiled. "I lost them all and you know that! They may not be dead, I may not feel loss as profound as you, but I've lost. I've lost everything! I left it all with reckless abandon because I cared for the world! And I see the same love in you, Bruce!" She softened her voice. "You didn't teach Jason not to kill for the hell of it."
"Yeah, and a lot of good that did! Over and over again this 'caring' that you speak of has cost people their lives. Jason died because I insisted on maintaining certain principles! And the only reason his death hurts as much as it does is because I...I loved him." Bruce's voice broke.
Diana did not waste the opportunity, she stepped forward and hugged him tightly. "I know, Bruce, I know."
He tried to fight her embrace, but his heart was not in it. The pain was not so bad in her arms.
He found himself inadvertently returning the embrace. "Don't you understand, Diana? You've gotten too close, now I can't do anything but hurt you."
"Then we'll hurt together instead of alone."
There was a silence for a moment before he pushed away hard and turned away, his head hung low. He knew he had not acted fast enough, not pushed her away soon enough.
"Bruce." He turned to look at her. "If nothing else, just come back to the League. We need you."
"Alright." He did not need time to think, he had known from the moment she hugged him that it was time to come back.
Diana stood at the grave a while longer. As she left she stopped by the grave of his parents.
"If you can somehow hear me...help me. Help your son."
…
The Batman took long strides into the roundtable room, and before even the Flash had time to react, was berating them all on the lack of efficiency and security he had noticed on his way from the teleports to the Founder's Room.
"...And I had to remind the personnel to do the shape-shifter checks! If Clayface were to find his way onto this ship, none of us would know!"
As he continued to rant most of the founders ceased to look pleased upon his return. Diana, if pressed, would have had to confess that she really was not paying attention. However, no one would know because her eyes were fixed on him, occasionally smirking at what she considered humorous behavior.
Clark allowed Bruce to finish before speaking, "Thank you, Bruce. We're all glad to see you again too."
After Bruce sat down and Clark got the attention of the other founders, Diana subtly reached over and squeezed Bruce's forearm. He did not move or react at all. She had a hard time deciding whether that was an improvement or not. The meeting ended quickly and on her way out Diana caught a glimpse of Clark bear-hugging Bruce, much to Bruce's chagrin.
"I'm glad Diana got through to you." Clark put the violated Bat down.
Bruce rose a finger in argument, but realized there was no point. Clark and Diana had undoubtedly talked about how to get him back in the tower and Clark was no idiot.
Bruce sighed, "She has a way with people."
"Uh huh. Whatever you say. I'm coming over for dinner, by the way. Alfred invited me, and I figured he would have 'neglected to tell you' again."
"Can't promise I'll be there."
"I know, but Alfred's cooking is worth it either way."
Bruce grunted, neither affirming nor denying.
"You should talk to her, you know."
"Clark. Don't start."
"What? I wasn't saying anything. It's just...Bruce, she hasn't been all there for the past few months. She's hyper focused when on assignment, as always, but during meetings and sometimes when I talk to her, her eyes get that glazed over look."
"Maybe you just bore her, Clark."
"Bruce, I'm not joking."
…
Diana closed the door to her cell and was struck with the reminder of her earlier conversation with her patrons in the form of her altar to them. That conversation had filled her with existential dread and confusion; she had rejected her patrons. She had known for a long time that the gods she served were not the gods of the cosmos or even the most powerful beings therein, but she had continued to hold them in high regard because of how much she owed them. Now, when she looked at their miniature stone faces, she felt a slight turning in her stomach.
Deciding not to look at it, she lay on her bed thinking. Quickly an uncertainty that plagues all men from youth took over her mind, the anxiety of existence. Questions of meaning and purpose, of belief and doubt, and of what and why. What actually was the cosmology of the world she lived in? It was clearly not what she had been told growing up. She had interacted with beings older and more powerful than Gaia and Ouranos, she had seen other worlds with other gods. She had questioned the nature of existence before, but now, somewhat estranged from her gods, the feelings came on stronger.
As she lay there, the fear and uncertainty growing, she became angry as well. Rage filled her at the thought of how she and her sisters had been lied to for so long. Rage that those she had idolized all her life were worse than the pettiest of humans. In her anger, she toppled the altar, the idols scattering the floor. Now standing above them, she looked upon the faces of her gods, their figures no longer so imposing. However, seeing their idols humbled subsided her rage. She fell to her knees, sadness in her eyes, and scooped up the statuettes. All the sacredness they once held in her eyes left them and all that remained was shaped stone. She placed them gently in a box and put the box away in her closet, behind her clothes. In one act, she had reduced an altar to a bedside table.
…
Bruce Wayne almost knocked on her door, he almost did. He almost heeded the advice of so many; Clark, Alfred, Dick, Barbara...Diana. The Batman protested the whole way there: What about the mission? As he raised his fist to knock the Bat fought hard: What about the mission? Efficiency? Teamwork? But it was not the Bat who stopped him, it was Bruce. She'll go the way of Jason. She's too perfect for you, too beautiful, too good. If you truly love her, you'll walk away right now. And so his fist lowered, and he walked away.
He continued to do war with himself all the way to the teleports, the words of so many pounding in his head. He refused to cave to desire, picking up his pace. A small, quiet voice broke through the cacophony in his head:
It is not desire that drives you, you know this. You have fought lust before, you know what desire feels like, this is different, something more.
He attempted to drown out the voice as he stepped onto the teleport node. If it is love then I can love her from a distance!
The teleport fired up. But what of her? What if she needs your love? And what if you need hers?
The Watchtower vanished, and it was too late. The voices subsided, drowned out by the overwhelming silence of the cave. The Batman broke, and yelled into the darkness.
Alfred could not hear the anguish of his charge, but somehow he could feel it. He rushed down into the cave to find an eight year old boy in an alley, desperately trying to force the world to make sense.
"Master Bruce!" Alfred ran up and embraced his kneeling ward.
"Alfred, how can a symbol love?"
Alfred knew what he was asking. Bruce had fought so long to become a myth, a symbol that people could rally under and rely on. He had fought so hard and long to become that, he had become convinced that a symbol was all he was. His question was justified, the Bat could not love, not the way they all wanted him to.
"By being more than a symbol, Master Bruce, by being a man."
Bruce took a moment to consider what Alfred said. He recognized what Alfred was trying to tell him, that the Bat is not everything, there's room for a little Bruce too. But that did not change the fact that he could not bear the weight of more loss, or the thought of hurting her.
"I can't lose her too." Bruce confirmed Alfred's suspicions about what this was about with the word 'her'.
"Then don't. Fight for her. Die for her. Like you did with Jason. Like you have done for your parents. If you do, you will never lose her, just as you have never lost them. Yes, they lie still beneath the Earth, but you witness to their memory and their lives. And in so doing, carry them with you always."
Alfred winced when he told his ward to die for her, that was the last thing he wanted to happen, but he understood that was what Bruce needed to hear. That there was something tangible he could do, some sacrifice he could make.
"What if I hurt her?"
"Master Bruce, you will hurt her, and you already have. That's the nature of love, none of us are perfect so we love imperfectly. The point is not to never hurt, but to forgive the hurt done to you and repent of the hurt you do to others...Why do we fall, Sir?"
The answer to Alfred's question pounded in his head. It was a question Alfred had asked him many times, and the answer was always the same.
"So that we can learn to pick ourselves up again." Bruce replied.
Alfred stood up and offered him a hand.
…
A few hours passed, thankfully uneventfully. Bruce was grateful for the time to brood. He decided that a conversation with Diana was very much needed, the nature of that conversation was yet to be determined. When night fell he decided to go on patrol, he could continue to mull over his thoughts passively. However, the night proved to be as uneventful as the cave, so he soon found himself brooding atop a gargoyle in the rain instead of in a chair. He was not there long before he saw the signal light up the sky. He leaped off the gargoyle, gliding toward the GCPD headquarters.
…
Commissioner Gordon sat in his office chair speaking to his daughter on the phone.
"Wait, Dad, so you missed the end of the game?"
"I don't know. There was a...work thing...Kite Man…"
"Oh, Dad, it was...like, SO, terrible. Campbell fumbled it on the one. They ran it back. Game over."
Gordon looked out the window to see the Bat Signal in the sky above him. "What? Again?"
"Again! I know it's a slight abuse of power. But if you really want to serve the city...Arkham must have some room for Knights quarterbacks."
"Barb, honey, give me one second. Or. Umh. Let me call you back."
Gordon got two cops to come with him and raced up the steps to the roof, incredulous. "How many DAMN memos do I have to send?! No one but me touches the DAMN signal! Whatever DAMN fool turned the damn thing on...No exaggeration, I'm going to kill…" He opened the door to the roof to see Wonder Woman standing in front of the Bat Signal. "Him? I'm sorry Miss...Woman. Wonder Woman."
"Sir, I would like to speak to Batman alone. Please." Diana had never met Commissioner Gordon before and wished that their meeting could have been under more favorable circumstances, with time for pleasantries.
"Uh...Yeah, sure. We'll just...uh...I'm sure he'll be here shortly."
"He is behind you." Diana would have been amused if not for the gravity of the situation.
"Right. Good." Gordon turned to see the Batman standing slightly above and behind him. He took his leave.
Bruce approached Diana worrying that she was going to try and force a conversation before he was ready. "You could've used the JL communicator."
"Yes. This is true. But...I wanted to try the signal. I thought it might be fun."
Bruce noted Diana's grave expression and part of him hoped that she had decided to give up on him, that she would take this out of his hands. But his intuition told him there was something else going on.
"Can I help you, Diana?"
Diana desperately wished it had not been today, that she could spare a grieving man, who had only just now started to open up again, from the impending sacrifice. "The Gentle Man has contacted me. He is ready. Are you?"