Chapter 26

It was pushing 11:00 and Serena showed no signs of waking. Liv checked on her quite often. Every once in a while, the young teen looked and sounded like she was having a nightmare, gearing up for a big one at that but Liv would just put her hand on her daughter's back and she instantly calmed down again. That seemed to be the key. Serena stayed calm when there was pressure on her, grounding her to where she was. Safety. Liv was happy to provide it. She noticed that Serena didn't sleep with a sweater on, her arms were bare which was unusual. Olivia could clearly see all the damage she missed by the light of the stars when Serena first showed her. Battle scars, she decided. Her baby was a survivor.

After their run, Elliot called Fin to say not to hurry, they were letting Serena get as much sleep as possible. Fin had no problem with that considering Barba was caught up, one tube of the tunnel was closed and traffic was a nightmare, and the detectives from Brooklyn were back with Dodds at the helm. Fin had a feeling when he finally hit the road, he would want to hit something else along the way.

And so it was 12:30 when they got the call from the security gate that an SUV full of cops was asking to enter. The press got hold of where Serena was staying and they've been camped out at the gate ever since. Thank God his mom bought property on a private beach whose security actually did their jobs. Elliot put in a call to arrange some extra security. The Jersey Shore was full of former cops and retired armed forces. When Fin pulled into the driveway, he got out and immediately stretched, Barba got out and removed his blazer, and the back doors opened revealing Rollins and Carisi.

"Why are you two here?" he questioned the younger detectives.

"Ummm" stammered Rollins. "The chief thought we needed all the help we could get so he pulled in Brooklyn SVU and told us to come along in case something was missed. Sorry Lieutenant. I thought you knew."

"No" he replied with force. "That is where the chief can stick it. You two, turn around and get back to the station. We are not ganging up on that girl and I am not letting Brooklyn fuck with my cases. If Dodds has a problem, I will address it when I drive these two back later on." His look and body language left no room for argument.

"Okay, Lt." replied Carisi. "Can I just use the bathroom?"

"There's a bathroom at the rest stop that doesn't risk waking my daughter. Go." Liv had just come outside when the two pulled out of the driveway. Seeing Elliot's demeanor alongside Fin's barely controlled rage told her not to question it. The sun was blazing overhead and even Bernie had to concede to closing the windows for the AC.

"Come inside" she said. "It could be a while before Serena wakes up."

It was 1:15 and Liv had just popped the frittata into the oven to brown when she heard the shower start. The men had been sitting around discussing the case while Bernie made herself scarce with Gladys next door. Liv made her way into Serena's room to wait. It wasn't long before she was out of the shower and making a dash to her door. Seeing her mother made her smile.

"Good morning Momma. You okay?"

"Good afternoon, sweetheart" Liv corrected. "And yes, I'm fine. How are you feeling? Headache? Cramps? Breathing?"

Serena closed her eyes and seemed to take inventory. "Yes. I didn't need my machine last night even after crying on Elliot. At least my head is manageable, and I'm used to the cramps, but I'm hungry." On cue, her stomach growled causing Liv to laugh.

"Get dressed. Uncle Fin and Mr. Barba are here to talk to you. Fin will actually do all the talking. But eat first since you didn't eat much after you got sick yesterday. Wait, sweetheart why were you crying on Elliot?"

"Just talking about stuff. I showed him my arms. He told me I was stronger than you! Why is Uncle Fin here? I talked to him yesterday" she questioned as she put her leggings on under her dress. Liv was curious as to why she still didn't wear underwear. They'll shelf that conversation for now.

Liv knew what she was thinking. "You know how investigations go, there's always more questions, just come on when you're ready. Oh, and he's right. You are so much stronger than I am, than we both are."

When Serena came out of her room, she walked straight to Elliot's side and hugged him. Voluntarily. Olivia was a bit perturbed by that, but she would never begrudge him a hug from her. In truth, she was jealous. She still had yet to receive a hug from her daughter that wasn't a desperate emotional grip.

Speaking into Elliot's shirt, Serena asked, "Why are you here Uncle Fin?"

"I need you to give me a statement about Judge Sorotsky. I know what you told us yesterday, and it was a great identification of him, but we have questions we need answered to make sure he fully pays for what he did." Seeing the look she flashed him, somedays Fin hated his job.

Serena pulled away from Elliot. "No."

"I'm sorry?" all three men said in unison.

She stood her ground. "I said no Uncle Fin. I will not go into detail about what he, or anyone else did to me. Absolutely not. He knows I identified him, Dr. Warner took pictures so if that's not enough, then it's not enough. I'm done."

Barba spoke up then. At best he would get a misdemeanor for indecent exposure to a minor. It was nothing! "Young lady, my apologies but…" He didn't get any farther than that as Serena ran outside covering her ears. The girl was fast.

"What did I say?" asked Olivia. "Barba, no one questions her except me, Elliot, or Fin."

"We can't keep coddling her Sergeant. We need to move forward and in order to get all those men, we need her cooperation or else we have nothing."

The use of her title was not lost on Olivia. "Well then I guess we have nothing Mr. Barba because my child will not be traumatized further. I will keep "coddling" her until I know she can fully function on her own. How dare you presume to tell me how to care for my daughter! Elliot, I think it's time to get back to work. I will see you later if you can, otherwise tomorrow." She abruptly turned, kissed Elliot and walked out of the house in search of her daughter.

Fin was silent. He knew better than to argue right now. Barba though, started pleading with Elliot. "We only need one parent's consent Lieutenant."

Elliot looked at him like he grew an elephant's nose in an instant. "You have got to be kidding me! No fucking way. Liv is right though, it is time I got back to the station and since Ken and Barbie left, I am your ride so let's go." He was pissed beyond belief. He knew Liv would get what they needed from Serena. He also knew she would have cooperated with Fin after some cajoling, but to be asked to go against a mother's wishes, Olivia's wishes for Serena, that was too much. He saw them sitting by the mini wall as he pulled out of the driveway.

-SVU-

Once they heard the truck pull away, Liv coaxed Serena back into the house. Bernie joined them too, after all, she only left because she felt it was police business. Being the grandma that she is, she fixed up the forgotten frittata and all three ate on the couch.

"I'm sorry Momma. Are you or Elliot going to get in trouble?"

"Absolutely not. We will have to do some fixing, but it'll be fine. Don't you want to see him punished for what he did?"

Serena paused for a while. "No. I mean, yes of course, but he wasn't even the most vicious. He was always wanting more, and he was the only one able to keep going, but he never hit me or did half the things the others did. I just don't ever want to think about it again Momma, let alone give details to other people. And what then? Each time they catch one of them, I have to do it all again? No."

"Will you tell me?" asked Bernie. "I'm not police. I'm not a prying stranger or a reporter. But I am someone who loves you and I believe that you need to tell someone something sweetheart. Holding it all in is hurting you, your poor body, your tired mind. I see how talking to Fin, or your mom brings just a little bit of brightness back into you, like a release. I'll listen, without judgment. I'll even answer any questions you have, about anything."

Serena looked bewildered. "N-nobody's said that. Nobody's asked me to tell them what it is I want. Those two men at the station-the one who came to the house the other day and the man in the suit today-they are angry to put their "perps" behind bars. Fin is wonderful, but he would live life perfectly happy not knowing any details and he only asks what he does because it's his job. Elliot and Momma already know, or at least they know their imaginations aren't that far off the truth, but I can't do that to them. Like me, they just want to put it behind them. I can't do that to you either Gramma."

Bernie could see that her newfound granddaughter wanted nothing more than to spill everything and move forward but was holding herself back. "All of that horror, all of that pain is a burden just wearing on your soul. Let us take some. We can handle it, whatever it is."

"It hurt" Serena suddenly confessed. She looked as if the words spilled out without her consent. Bernie was sitting in an oversized chair and Serena made her way over. She sat sideways next to her, her knees up under her chin even though there was more than enough room for them both to sit comfortably. Serena tucked her feet under Bernie's thigh and hugged her knees. She looked so small. "It hurt each time I was touched, no matter where or with what. Now, I still hurt all the time Gramma."

Liv moved to sit on the coffee table in front of them. Serena's voice sounded as if she was still in pain.

"You still hurt sweetie?" asked Bernie. Serena nodded. "Is it only when you think about certain things like a memory hurt or are there times when you move a certain way and you really hurt?"

"I'm always thinking about everything. You may not know it Gramma, but I have a brain that allows me to remember everything I read, everything I hear or see so I remember every moment, probably as far back as birth if I tried. It used to be great when I was in school and I wanted to know and learn everything. Now, I can't make it stop. Even the parts that are fuzzy. I can't forget so I don't know how to answer that question. I just hurt all the time so, both."

"What hurts?" Liv was eternally grateful that Bernie was on the ball today. Elliot had explained before coming that there were times his mother would change subjects rapidly or seem to completely get lost in her own fantasies. Fortunately, today was not ones of those days. She was asking the questions that Liv would ask, but she didn't want to interrupt.

Serena shrugged and simply said, "Everything."

There was no response to that. What were they supposed to say?

-SVU-

The whole drive back to Manhattan made Elliot's skin crawl. Barba went on and on about how he couldn't believe they weren't making Serena give her statement. He was going to prosecute and have her subpoenaed if he had to. Elliot would love to see him try. He knew exactly how Serena would react to that and no judge in their right mind would declare that girl competent enough to testify once she dug her heels in. She was severely traumatized, and he had a feeling she would play it up at the right moment if she really wanted to. Elliot also knew Barba wouldn't get that far. Not with Momma Bear already on a rampage.

The car ride was tame compared to what was waiting for him back at the house. Of course, the chief knew Carisi and Rollins were sent back immediately. When he found out that they also came back empty handed, Elliot had his ass served to him. Dodds was droning on about emotional incompetency, investigation by 1PP into his jacket and how close he was to his sergeant, threatened his shield. Whatever. He meant what he told Liv, they find Carlson and he is out.

The judge's attorney walked in looking for him. Luckily. Elliot saw him before Dodds stopped yelling and got to him first. "We have your client dead to rights. The press is going to love this story. The sweetheart child who was missing for two years was part of repeated sex parties with a district judge as a very active participant. When she gets on that witness stand, he'll never see the light of day again." Elliot knew it was a gamble, but he hoped the slimeball would take the bait.

"Your DA is on his way, we want a deal." Since Barba had only just left, he returned quickly.

"Lieutenant Stabler is correct. What could your client possibly offer? The victim is giving us names, so what's his leverage?" Barba was also gambling. Serena wasn't giving squat.

"He can give you the party room, which is probably where you'll find the good doctor." The lawyer knew at that moment, they would deal.

It was after midnight when Olivia heard the truck pull into the driveway. She was surprised Elliot came back tonight. She texted earlier but when she didn't get a response, she assumed he was on a case or something. She knew how the job worked. If there was an emergency, Fin or someone would call. Even though she woke up so late, Serena was actually sleeping again. When Liv heard her admit that she was still in pain, non-specific but constant pain all she wanted to do was take it away. Her poor body needed all the sleep it could get and convincing her of that was not easy. Not for Liv or Bernie, but Gladys of all people was successful. She was an all-natural remedy, old-fashioned lady and she rubbed some oils on Serena's skin (only in places that were not covered), gave her some chamomile tea with a splash of melatonin, and played soothing instrumental on the speakers. Liv could see the effects right away, but of course Serena fought them. Finally, about an hour ago, she knocked out. Liv left her on the couch, just covered her up.

Liv turned her light on as soon as she heard the front door close. She slept pretty well last night with the two people she loved squished in with her, but now she was alone and thinking. Thinking always kept her up. She knew Elliot was trying to quietly walk past their daughter as it was silent and took a while for him to get to the bedroom doorway. He closed the door behind him and fell to his knees with his head in his hands. As soon as she saw him, she jumped out of bed. When she got close enough, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her midsection, put his head on her stomach, and let out a sob that broke her already fragile heart. She immediately hugged him tight, wondering what the hell happened.

"Tell me" she soothed. After a bit she managed to get to her knees and hug him properly. He cried on her shoulder much the same way she did to him last night. It didn't take long for her to hear him trying to control his sniffles and take deep breaths. She pulled back, put her hands on his cheeks, and kissed him. "You're okay. We're all okay. Tell me."

"We got Carlson." She knew that was not the whole story. Catching that son of a bitch was Elliot's sole focus for over two years. Finally getting him would cause him to come home with bloodied knuckles or fractured toes or something physical, not these hysterics. She patiently waited for him to continue. "The judge pleaded down. He gave us the room location and that fucker was hunkered down there. Liv, that room…" He pulled away and stood up. He shook his hands and cracked his neck. Olivia remained where she was. She knew it was a house of horrors, or rather a room but it had to be unimaginable to hit Elliot like this.

After taking a few deep breaths, he turned back around and realized she was still on her knees. He held his hand out to help her up. "I'm sorry baby. Sorry for...Jesus." She ignored the term 'baby' this time, she knew he wasn't really thinking. "Liv, I don't know how she survived once, let alone however many times... Honestly, I think it broke me and all I did was stand in the middle of the empty space. I can't, no I won't describe it. You don't need that image in your head. CSU is there now. It'll take them a while to collect and even longer to process everything."

"So, what about him?" She wasn't going to press any further right now. She would read the reports, see the photos if she chose to. Now that they knew where it was, she could go there herself.

Elliot gave a frustrated laugh and sneered. "When we busted in, he was surprised so there's that. He looked up, right at me, and said, "Hello Elliot." Liv, I swear if Fin didn't know me so well, I'd be in jail and that fucker would be in the morgue. Fin grabbed him and threw him at Carisi, literally threw him and they hauled him away. The only other words he said was to ask for water. They have been tag teaming him for the last couple hours. I couldn't watch anymore, I needed to be here. I needed to come home."

She went to him and hugged him fiercely. "Okay. Okay let's just, let's…" That's as far as she got before his mouth claimed hers. His need was visceral. He grabbed her and pushed her against the door. He wasted no time getting his pants down and her pajamas off. He made sure to put one hand behind her head while holding her up with the other as he rammed into her over and over. No foreplay, no prep. She didn't fight, she wrapped her legs around him and didn't make a sound. She bit into his shoulder and just held on. He needed this. A few more thrusts and she bit down hard, as Elliot came grunting. He held onto her, both panting, trying to calm down. He rested his forehead against hers.

"Fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just take...Did I...Are you okay?" She only managed a nod as she was still gripping him. He slowly put her down, holding her until her legs were able to hold her up. She would be sore in the morning. He would just have to make it up to her at a later date. He kissed her then, many quick kisses all over her face.

She looked into his eyes and held his gaze. "I love you. I hope you know how much. Now, let's go to bed. Tomorrow, well today is bound to be crap. Ya know, one day soon we'll actually look forward to the day." She walked over to the bed, shit! Sore is not the word! and climbed in. She waited a few minutes for him to change, use the bathroom, and check on Serena. He left the door open, in case she woke up. When he was finally settled, Liv pushed as close to him as humanly possible without being right on top. They wrapped their arms around each other and waited for sleep that would surely never come.

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