Chapter 38

Olivia opened her eyes to find that it was dark outside. Great, I slept all day and now I'll be up all night, again. When she looked at the clock, she realized it was not the middle of the night, but the early morning. 4:42. Twelve hours! Wow! Well, hopefully Serena slept as much. I need to explain today. She slowly crept out of bed, making sure she didn't disturb her sleeping partner and quietly walked into Serena's room. Eli was face down on the floor mattress, Kathleen was spread out on one side of the bed and Serena was curled on her side next to her, still sound asleep. Liv kept the door open and went to the bathroom. As she was walking towards the kitchen for coffee, she stopped short, all bad thoughts pushed aside thanks to uninterrupted sleep. Everyone is out cold, and I have the world's sexiest man sleeping in my bed. Why the hell am I making coffee? As she made her way towards their bed, she closed both bedroom doors and removed the t-shirt she was wearing. She slipped out of her bottoms as she climbed on the bed, she pulled the sheets off Elliot's waist. By the sound of his snores, she was not disturbing him in the least. Well, she needed to remedy that.

Olivia marveled at the bulge in his boxer briefs. He had been wearing pajama bottoms for Serena's sake, but she figured since he knew she was given a sleeping pill and would not be climbing into their bed, why not be comfortable? She took a few moments to look. Sure, they have had sex on and off since she came out here, but it was always straight sex on her part; Elliot had gone down on her twice, but she's never returned the favor. Seeing him like this, right now she wanted nothing more. Carefully she pulled down the waistband of his underwear, releasing his member. He jerked a bit in his sleep, but he settled immediately. Liv took two fingers to lift his member up before encircling the tip with her lips. As she lowered her mouth down further, Elliot's breathing picked up. Liv knew she was waking him so she pushed a little further. Since he wasn't yet aroused, she was able to take him all in and still have room. That changed quickly.

"Liv, what are you doing?" came a raspy voice filled with sleep. His eyes were still closed. She released him from her mouth but kept her hand in its place.

"Well, if you have to ask, I must not be doing it right" she stated and went back to her ministrations.

Elliot's eyes opened and he was instantly awake. He was also instantly erect as he looked down and saw Olivia, his beautiful Liv, with her ass in the air and her glorious mouth sucking on his dick. She jerked back a bit and smirked when she looked him in the eye.

"You are on the other side of 50 and you have the arousal rate of a 17-year-old!"

"Well damn woman! Waking me up like that, what did you expect?" He let out a slow moan as she licked up the underside of his shaft. "Fuck!"

"Not yet" she countered and took him in again. He was a lot bigger now that his blood was flowing and she could no longer take him all in, so she used her hand to help. As she went up and down his erection, she could see him getting impossibly fatter and longer, so she went faster. Licking, sucking, circling, blowing all while Elliot's breaths quickened and his moans deepened. She started giggling which caused a new sensation to flow through him.

Elliot took a deep breath in an attempt to control himself and looked down once again. Liv was totally engrossed in what she was doing when he realized that he could reach to pleasure her as well. She was not situated between his legs, but on his right side. He took his right hand and stroked her core, causing her to yelp.

"Shhh!" he admonished.

She looked him in the eye with a playful glare as she squeezed his balls. "No fair!"

He laughed and continued to play with her clit, which made his fingers instantly wet. He loved that Liv was not only a screamer, but a soaker. It seemed to surprise her too at first which led him to believe he was the only one to coax that out of her. With each stroke, she moaned, causing her lips to vibrate on his cock and he moaned. He went faster and so did she. Seeing her head go up and down his member brought immense pleasure and feeling her wetness, knowing that he caused that reaction in her, almost made him lose his shit right then. He grabbed Liv's ass and moved her over. He kissed her outer thighs and moved towards her inner thighs. He took his other hand and spread her legs so she was straddling him. He leaned forward and licked her folds. As she jerked backwards, he hit her clit, causing her to screech. She took Elliot back in her mouth to keep herself quiet. With every lick each took, their moans got louder and louder.

"Shit, shit, shit Liv! Don't scream!" That was the last thing that she was able to make out before he exploded into her mouth three seconds before she clenched around his tongue and drenched his face. It was hard for her to swallow as she couldn't breathe from the intense pleasure of both giving and receiving, but she took all he had to give as he lapped up all her juices. It took a few minutes for them both to calm down enough to move. As Olivia shifted around the bed, she rested on his chest after wiping it dry with the top sheet and wrapped her arm around his waist.

"I've been dying to do that for forever," she said wistfully. "You feel so good inside, I needed to know how you tasted, but you had to be greedy."

"Come on! The ass that I have been fascinated with for almost 20 years was sticking up close to my face and I was supposed to let it go? It's too beautiful. You're too beautiful. I had to participate. By the way, what the hell time is it? What brought this on?"

"Ummm, last time I saw the clock it was like a quarter to five. Everyone was asleep, I checked and my man was here next to me and I don't know when we'll have another chance so I decided to wake you. I hope you don't mind the early hour…" She pressed herself closer into his side and draped her leg over his.

"Mind? That was fucking amazing luv. You can wake me up anytime." He held her impossibly closer and before long, they both drifted back off.

-SVU-

Serena felt heavy. She hated pills but sometimes they were necessary, like yesterday. Today is a different story though. Drugs made it hard to wake up and she was struggling. She suddenly heard what she thought was a yelp and that woke her immediately. She quickly realized it wasn't a shout of horror, but her mother once again. Funny. I fall asleep and she takes that as her cue to have sex. Hmmm, whatever makes her happy. Serena had to pee, but she wasn't about to interrupt them to check the toilet. She got out of bed, grabbed her journal, and sat on the patio to wait. Before she was able to open her book, she heard another silenced scream and smiled to herself. She couldn't get over how they tried so hard to be quiet when all of her experiences were drenched in noise. They were in love, that should be shouted from the rooftops. She continued writing. Rachel had mentioned to the others that they had to keep up with their journals, so she knew she was on the right track. She just completed her first full "story" when the puppies came tumbling out, yapping for attention. She stood up and signalled for the little furballs to follow.

She walked with them along the shoreline, watching as they jumped in the water and retreated quickly. She was trying to teach them commands using her voice as well as signs when she saw an older golden bound up to them. She watched as Samson and Delilah playfully attacked the older dog when she heard a whistle from behind her. As she turned, she saw a familiar face.

"Mornin' peace girl. Whatcha doin up so early? Usually Nina and I rule the shores at this hour." Salomon was jogging towards her while trying various whistles to get his dog to heel. With the two little ones going nuts, Nina was caught up and his commands went unnoticed.

"Really? I'm out here every morning waiting for the sun to come up and today is the first day I've ever seen Nina. Granted, I'm usually hanging out on the patio so…" Why am I talking to him? Look at him! "Most boys your age are still in their dream states this early in the morning." She can't believe she's having a conversation with him. Since hearing his story in group yesterday, he didn't scare her like other boys do. Boy wasn't the right word; he may have been young, but he was built like Richard, only beefier and his dreads conveyed a look of toughness. She couldn't put her finger on it.

He smiled at that. "Well, I'm not like most boys. Sleep isn't much of a haven but I guess you can understand that." He came to stand in front of her, arms crossed and an open look in his eyes.

"Yeah" she responded. "So, I think it's great that Samson and Delilah get to see their mom every now and again. Being separated sucks, even for dogs."

"True, but it doesn't have to be "every now and again." Like I said, we're out here every morning and now that you've ventured off your patio, you can join us...with the puppies of course."

She thought it was amazing how he didn't scare her or give her that off feeling, like every other male does since… Maybe there was that unspoken understanding? Well, technically it was spoken but...Rachel said they weren't supposed to censor themselves, but did that mean outside the therapy room too? Well, she had to ask. "Are we supposed to talk? I mean, outside… I mean…"

"I try not to. Outside of group, I really don't talk to anybody. I go to school online so I don't have to deal. I've learned a long time ago when and where to say what and I find it's best to keep therapy in therapy. Separating it makes my days easier. I don't have the support system outside of that room like you seem to have, but if you want to talk about anything, I'll listen. Otherwise, we can compare dog training techniques and make fun of Mr. Wallace over there who insists on wearing a speedo with his shape at his age. Whatever."

Serena smiled at that and before she knew it, she was laughing out loud and hard. Salomon couldn't resist laughing with her and before they knew it, they were sitting on the sand cracking up with the dogs licking their faces. The moment of joy was brief and rudely interrupted.

"Salomon! Boy, What're you doin?" Ms. Adelaide came sauntering over, dressed in her housecoat but otherwise looking like she was getting ready for a fancy event. "You plan on talkin to yerself? Word has it this child don't talk."

"Grandma" Salomon tried to interrupt but she continued as if he wasn't there.

"Girl, you need to stay away from my grandson. He can't do nuthin for yer, he ain't got no dick, just a piece of plastic to make him pee. Save yerself the heartache child." She then turned her attention to the humiliated young man. "Boy, grab that dog and git on home. I'm leavin in a bit." With that, she turned and walked back towards her house. Salomon didn't say a word nor did he look at her, he just got up, whistled for Nina who obeyed this time, and ran after his grandmother.

Serena was livid. She's never been angry before, upset yes but never outright mad until now. She was so angry at that woman. How could she say things like that? Even if it was true, why would she embarrass him? She had the oddest feeling as she stomped back towards the house and up the patio stairs. The dogs didn't need to be summoned, they sensed her mood and followed obediently. Olivia had just come out on the patio holding a mug of coffee, watching her approach.

"Baby, what's wrong?" She's never seen her daughter in such a state. She didn't have a chance to inquire further because Serena went off, waving her arms and raising her voice.

"How could she? She's so...so mean! He's her grandson, her family and she just...I was mortified for him. For me! She doesn't even know me and still! I'm just so, so angry and... how do I get over it because I just want to scream?! Uuuhhh!" She stomped her foot and held her fists straight down as she paced rapidly across the planks. Liv was getting whiplash watching her, so she reached out and grabbed her shoulders, holding her in place.

"I need you to pull into the station so I can hop on board your train of thought." Olivia said. The incredulous look she got made her smile.

Serena tried to focus and explain. "I don't understand. Maybe it's because it's been just me and you for so long, but you would NEVER, Gramma would never, Elliot on his worst day wouldn't…"

She was shaking and Liv was still at a loss, but Elliot had heard the conversation since Serena stomped up the stairs. Never in her life has that child made so much noise and he cannot recall a time when she was angry, at anything, despite all that's happened. He opened the screen door and gestured with his hand. "Come with me." If anyone knew about shaking with anger, it was Elliot. He led Serena quietly through the living room, out the front and into the garage with Olivia on their heels. No one said a word as Elliot pulled a pair of gloves off the shelf.

"If you are making fists…" he indicated hers and she didn't even realize she was… "You need to punch something. You're a Stabler. Use the bag, it'll make you feel better." She didn't even wait, she just swung. Her whole body shook with the impact. "Don't hurt yourself. Like this." He demonstrated and explained and before he could step out of the way, his youngest daughter was attacking the heavy bag with vigor. He gave Liv a questioning look and she just shrugged, never taking her eyes off the young teen. She was definitely a Stabler, she caught on quickly, it came naturally, and she was relentless, not even grunting. Serena gave the bag a couple of kicks for good measure before resting her forehead against it. She was breathing heavy, but not the way she usually does.

"Did it work?" asked Elliot. She just nodded against the bag, looking spent.

"Ready to tell me what that was all about?" asked Liv. She was concerned as to what prompted this.

Serena turned around and looked at the floor, seemingly embarrassed. "Last night you said that I scare you Momma. What did you mean?"

Elliot raised his eyebrows, but Liv didn't take a beat, not with Serena in this state. "I'm scared to lose you again. I told you last time, sometimes, you pull away, won't let me touch you. You go quiet and no one does silent the way you do. I'm scared I'm not qualified enough to help you, that I'm…. I just love you so much. You are my whole world and after our conversation yesterday, which wasn't even news, I expected as much but… I'm terrified."

"Momma, no. I only pull away because I still feel them, I told you and you're…" She was shaking her head. "I'm sorry, please don't let me. If I pull away, grab me and pull me back. I don't mean to and sometimes it just feels like everyone expects me to act, be, feel a certain way but I don't or I can't. It's not you Momma. Please don't be scared of that because you're the one who keeps me here, who keeps the nightmares away. You know what I need, even when I don't know or I don't want it. We don't have to go tomorrow, I won't go back to the group room, I promise I'll only talk to you when you ask. Elliot told you to call me out on my shit, listen to him." Olivia gave a small smile and nod and Elliot wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. He didn't know what they were talking about since Liv fell asleep so early and talking this morning wasn't a priority.

Serena continued. "Ms. Adelaide. Have you ever met her?" Liv shook her head but Elliot nodded knowingly.

"She lives down the strip. She's always so miserable and seems to make it her life's mission to take everyone with her. What'd she say?" Serena looked up at her mother, then glanced at her father, who got the hint. "If she was mean to you in any way angel, I need to know."

"No daddy. I'm okay. It wasn't aimed at me." Elliot looked confused but he knew that Serena wanted to talk to Liv alone. He would make sure to get Liv alone later, keep his hands to himself and get her to talk.

"Okay." He leaned forward and kissed her head. "I'm going to leave my two Badass Bensons to sort things out. I promised Mom that now that Eli's here, I'd make more of an effort to take him to church so I'm playing chauffeur to her and Gladys. I love you both. You are the strongest, bravest women on the planet, like ever. Never forget that. I'm going to shower." He leaned in and captured Olivia's mouth with his and she responded enthusiastically, causing Serena to clear her throat.

Once Elliot winked and left, Serena held her arms out and Olivia undid the gloves. "I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you this, but you're my mother and that trumps everything. Ms. Adelaide's grandson was in the therapy group that Kathleen took me to. I heard his story." She paused for a moment, just looking at Liv. She understood the gravity of those words. Serena didn't need to explain that meant he was a victim of repeated sex abuse, so she continued. "His name is Salomon. He said it means peace and calm, like me." She went on to explain the mornings events to Olivia. "Salomon never said anything about his body so I don't understand why she would embarrass him like that. It was cruel Momma and he could've been my friend out here." She stepped forward and just put her head on Olivia's shoulder when tears started to fall. Tears of sadness for the boy who was nice to her, tears of anger at the atrocity itself, and tears of humiliation for both him and her.

Olivia didn't hear her crying; she just felt the wetness on her shoulder, so she wrapped her arms around Serena tight. She knew this was a different type of cry. Now she understood that bag episode was not just Stabler genes asserting themselves because she was outraged herself. That poor boy! How embarrassing for him but also for Serena to sit there and be told that right in front of him from someone who supposed to love him. "I'm sorry baby. I can't even…"

They stood in the garage like that for a long time, neither wanting to let go. They didn't realize how long it was until they heard the car doors slam and Elliot stuck his head in. "Everything okay?" They both nodded and smiled, giving hugs and saying see-ya-laters before walking back into the house.

"First, yes we are still going to meet with Rachel tomorrow. We will talk about the who's and what's after. Second, I think I need to have a talk with Ms. Adelaide" said Liv once they were back in the living room. When she saw the stricken look of fear on Serena's face, she amended. "Of course I won't mention anything about therapy baby. I'll just keep it to her comments on the beach this morning. Regardless of Salomon's past or his situation, the things she said were highly inappropriate for a thirteen-year-old girl to hear. Not to mention, the jab at your silence."

Serena took a calming breath as Liv led her to the bathroom. Her mother knew her so well. When she was finished, Olivia headed for the shower. There was something about that boy that Serena liked so she head back to the beach.

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