Maya keeps herself busy for the next two weeks, while she tries to get over her disappointing conversation with Josh about their feelings for each other. She knows she'll be fine eventually, and she wants to start hanging out with him again, but she's not sure how she'll react the next time she sees him. As she promised she would, she calls Josh twice each week and talks with him and Mati. The little girl is sad that Maya won't be coming to see her for a couple of weeks, but Maya promises her she will eventually and then they'll make up for lost time. This seems to make her happy. And, as she promised, she did a couple of video chats with her so she can see how she's doing with her artwork. Maya also asks her how she's doing in the rest of her classes and if she's continuing to do her homework before doing her sketching. The little girl rolls her eyes and states: "Dad told me you'd asked me that. I'm doing good in all my other classes and doing my homework before I draw, just as if you were here. I promise." She can see Josh, behind her, suppressing as smile and she has to suppress her own. "Good Mati," Maya says, "I'm proud of you." During one of their talks, Mati asks Maya if she'd come by her art class at school again, so she could see her. She can hear the anxiousness in the young girl's voice. Maya would like to and knows Joan, Mati's art teacher, wouldn't mind, but she thinks Josh might find that suspicious, her making time to see Mati and not both of them, when she's supposed to busy and not have time for either one. And that might cause him to think he's hurt her, which she's determined not to let show at all costs. "No honey, I can't," she tells her. "But I should be freed up in a week or so, and then I'll be by to see you both at your apartment." Mati sighs. "Okay, I was hoping us artists would stick together and you'd come to see me in art class." Maya has to laugh at that. Mati's trying everything she can to see her as soon as she can. "I guess I should be flattered by that," she supposes to herself. "Now Mati," Maya begins, "well get together soon for another girl's day, just you and me, I promise. I don't want to disappoint your dad by seeing you before him." Mati thinks about that, then says: "Okay, I understand." There's a pause, then Mati asks: "You really like my dad, don't you?" This takes Maya completely by surprise and she's glad they're talking on the phone, and not video chatting or face-to-face, because she knows that a sadness fell over her face that Mati would have noticed, and she didn't want to explain that to the little girl. But she needed to say something to her, and she told the truth. "Yes I do, honey. Your dad is one of the best friends I've ever had and I'd do anything for him." Mati thinks about what she's been told for a few seconds, then tells Maya. "Dad likes you to, I think. He smiles every time I mention your name." Now Maya has to stop herself from crying. She knows Mati is just saying what she believes, but it still reminds her of what she's going through right now. Finally Maya says: "I'm happy to hear that Mati. I love hanging out with you two." She can hear Mati smiling on the phone, then she hears Josh's voice in the background. "Well dad says it's time for dinner so I gotta go. I love you Maya. Once again she had to keep herself from crying, but for a different reason this time. "I love you too, Mati, and I'll see you soon."
A few days later Maya realizes that the two weeks she said she'd be busy had passed, and she knows it's time to visit Josh's apartment, whether she's ready or not. So, she prepares herself, emotionally, as best she can and calls Josh to set up a time to visit. She's not surprised when he says: "How about tomorrow night?" She knows she has to agree with that time, she has no reason not to. "And besides," she reasons to herself, "I have to start seeing him again sometime, so it might as well be now and not later." She agrees. He hears Josh tell Mati she's coming to see them tomorrow and she hears the little girl shout: "Yea!" Which makes her smile. She feels better after hearing Mati's excited cry. And she remembers what Riley had told her: "You'll have the love of my sweet little cousin to cheer you up." Her smile brightens. "Riley was right," she says to herself, "Mati will cheer me up, no matter how I feel."
The next evening, Maya goes to Josh's apartment. She's there early enough to have dinner with them, as they requested. She lets herself in the building door with the key Josh had given her. She smiles every time she uses his key because it reminds her of when she was in college and her and Josh were dating. He had given her a key to his apartment and she used it to spend a lot of time there. As she gets off the elevator and walks to Josh's door, she's relieved to realize that most of her anxiety is leaving her and she's actually looking forward to seeing Josh again. She also realizes that her decision to keep seeing him as her friend was the correct one. She's missed him and knows that if she'd cut herself off from him completely, she would have been miserable. She actually smiles as she knocks on his door. Almost immediately the door opens wide and there stands a very excited Mati. "MAYA!" She screams and immediately jumps into Maya's arms, almost knocking her down. She holds on to the little girl as best she can as she closes the door behind her. "Mati I'm so glad to see you," she begins, "but you're getting a little too big for me to carry." This gets a laugh from the little girl, obviously happy to see Maya. "I've told her the same thing Maya," Josh speaks up. "But she seems to ignore me. I guess our backs will have to go out before we get her attention." This gets a laugh from Maya. When Mati finally lets Maya put her down, Maya looks at Josh, who is smiling brightly. "I'm glad you're here Maya," he says, "it's good to see you. I've….we've missed you." Maya blushes when he tells her that. Josh pulls her into a long-overdue, hug. She hugs him back, and the hug lasts a little longer than they normally do. Maya's glad that neither Josh nor Mati can see her face because she can't suppress the sadness that washes over her. She wishes this hug was more than a hug between friends. But she quickly composes herself as they release their hug.
"Mmmm," Maya says as she sniffs the air, "something smells good in here again. And if I'm not mistaken, that's my favorite stir-fry." Mati and Josh grin. "Your nose is correct Maya," Josh says with a laugh. But Maya protests. "Josh, you don't have to keep fixing my favorite foods. I'm sure I'd like anything you fixed." He's quick to respond. "This was Mati's idea actually." He looks at this daughter and grins. "As soon as I told her you were coming over for dinner, she wanted me to cook one of your favorites. So I told her I think I remembered something you liked….besides Paco's Tacos." This gets a laugh from all three. "I hope you'll like it Maya," Mati begins. "I wanted us to fix something special for you tonight since we haven't seen you in a while." Mayas touched by the little girl's thoughtfulness. She hugs Mati and says: "You're so thoughtful; I'm sure I'll love it." She looks at Josh as they share a knowing smile. Josh knows this is one of Maya's favorite dishes because he'd fixed it for her many times in his old apartment when they were dating.
The evening feels so familiar to Maya. They mostly listen to Mati rattle off what's she's been doing since she last saw Maya. And once again, Josh has to tell her to slow down and give Maya a chance to eat.
When they finish dinner, Mati runs off to her room to finish her homework so she can draw with Maya. Maya helps Josh clean up the kitchen, even though, like he always does, he says it isn't necessary, because she's his guest. Maya looks at him, slightly amused and irritated, and says: "Josh, am I really a guest?" He looks at her, wondering what she's getting at. "Yes," she continues, "I'm technically a guest in your apartment, but you said it yourself Josh, I'm family." He continues to look at her questioningly. "And that's how I want you to treat me. And family helps out in the kitchen; especially when it's time to clean up. Don't treat me like I'm someone special. We've known each other to long for that." He looks at her and grins. "Okay, you win. You're not a guest and I won't treat you like you're someone special….even though you are." That last part takes her by surprise and he eyes snap up to look at him. She sees him smiling, a grateful smile. She returns his smile and doesn't argue with him.
Mati soon returns and her and Maya begin drawing together. Maya's seen such an improvement in her drawing that she's decided to let her draw whatever she feels like, and she'll do the same. That way, they can enjoy their time together and it's not like a teacher/student thing and more enjoyable for both of them. Maya thoroughly enjoys this time with Mati. The two talk about what they've been drawing and why they drew what they did. All too soon though, it's Mati's bedtime. As usual she protests. "But I haven't seen Maya in two weeks dad, can't I stay up a little longer?" She pleads. Josh and Maya exchange knowing looks; different words, same story they think. With reluctance, but also with sweet smiles, they tell the pleading little girl that tomorrow is a school day and she needs to get to bed on time tonight. She finally gives in and Maya promises to visit them again on a weekend and maybe she can stay up later then. Maya helps Josh put her to bed like she has several times and realizes how much she looks forward to it. After they tuck her in and leave her bedroom, they settle into the living room so they can catchup with what's been going on in their lives since they've last seen each other. But Josh starts out with something else. "Well I see you're not crying like a little girl this time after Mati told you she loved you." He gives her a big smile as he's telling her this, clearly teasing her. Maya rolls her eyes. "Okay, okay," she begins, "you were right. I'm able to control myself somewhat now after she tells me she loves me."
"Told you," he responds with a smug look on his face. But she knows he's just teasing her. "And you were right about something else," she continues, which surprises Josh. "I may be able to control my emotions somewhat, but the feeling of love I have for her hasn't diminished. The feeling I get when she says she loves me is still like nothing I've ever felt. I don't think that'll ever go away." Josh smiles. "It won't; I promise. And we should be glad of that," he finishes. "I know; and I am," she tells him. The rest of the evening is spent with them talking about what's been going on with in their lives since Maya last visited. Maya has to stretch the truth a little to convince Josh that she was in fact too busy to visit the past two weeks, so he won't suspect the real reason: getting over her heartache. She notices that during their whole conversation he watches her intently, obviously trying to see if she shows any signs of sadness because of their last long conversation about her feelings for him. She believes she did a good job of hiding her true feelings.
As the evening goes by and reaches his bedtime, he asks if she's going to spend the night and have breakfast with them in the morning. She politely declines, saying she has another busy day tomorrow. "Maya," Josh says, "Mati will be so disappointed when you're not here in the morning. You don't want to disappoint her do you?" She can see he's suppressing a grin as he's asking her this. She puts a shocked look on her face, and answers: "Joshua Matthews, I can't believe you'd try to talk me into staying by playing on my emotions concerning Mati. Your mother would be shocked to hear you." They both stare at each other, trying to suppress their laughter, until Josh can't hold back any longer and laughs, followed quickly by Maya's. "You know me too well Hunter," Josh says after his laughter subsides somewhat. "I do," she responds, "but I appreciate the effort, and I promise I'll spend the night and have breakfast with you two the next time I visit." This gets an appreciative smile from Josh. The truth is, Maya was expecting she'd spend this night at Josh's apartment, but after spending time with him after Mati went to bed, she realized she'd have a hard time keeping up the appearance of not being disappointed with their current relationship, if she stayed, it would just be too hard. So she decided to leave. But she felt that a few extra days of not being around him would help.
And she was right. The next time she came to Josh's apartment, it was more fun. And after that, she looked forward to every visit. Of course she always enjoyed being with Mati, that never changed. But she started enjoying being with Josh again, just him and her alone. Talking with him became easy again. And as before, some of their conversations were about nothing important, some were silly when they teased each other about growing up as friends, and some were very serious. Josh would still want to talk about Ann occasionally, and Maya didn't mind. Each time he did, she saw it was easier for him. He even told her it was; he would tell her about some of the silly and funny things they did together, and Maya loved to hear those stories. And Josh would occasionally hug her, out of friendship and his appreciation, for what she'd done for him and Mati.
But one thing still weighted on her mind. Josh had told her that his old feelings for her had returned, like hers did for him, yet he said he didn't think he'd ever be ready for another relationship, not even with her. To her, that just didn't make sense. If he had feelings for her, then why not act on them? She wanted to be with him again, but of course she would always respect his wishes and would never press him about this. Still, she was confused. Then one evening, while she was having dinner with her parents, Cory and Topanga came to visit them after dinner was over. As they sat in the living room, talking about what was going on in their lives, she decided to bring this up to get their thoughts on it. She told them what Josh had told her after she confessed to him that she had feelings for him again. Then she asked: "How could he have feelings for me, like he did before, yet say he didn't want to be in a relationship again, ever? It's just so confusing." The four older adults could see how this was making Maya feel; how her confusion was hurting her. And they wanted to help but didn't know exactly how. Her mother sat down beside her on the couch and held her, which Maya appreciated very much. She could tell that these four people she loved and respected so much were empathetic to what she was going through. And she wasn't surprised when her old mentor, Cory, was the first to offer his feelings on the matter.
"Maya," he began, "what Josh has had to endure, the death of his wife and his daughter's mother, is something no one should ever have to deal with. But when a tragedy like this occurs, it changes you. It changed Josh and it changed all of us. We were so shocked by it, that none of us could think rationally for a while. Like Riley told you, we should have called you as soon as it happened, because we knew you'd want to be with him during that horrible time, but we didn't. And of course, it affected Josh the most. And it's changed him in more ways than we can imagine. Oh, he's still the same Josh….loyal, caring, loving, and a great dad. But he's not the same man he was before this happened to him. As a result, none of us can read him like we once could. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, we don't know why he's not acting on his feeling for you either. And don't think we haven't noticed. At times, he looks at you like he did when you two were dating, but it seems to fade quickly. Mom and dad and I have talked about it because they've seen it to. And they don't know why either. It could be any number of things, Maya. It could be that he's afraid of being in a relationship like he had with Ann again because he doesn't want to go through that kind of pain again. And he knows that a relationship with you would be that passionate. I think he could have a fling or two with someone he liked; something very casual and not too involved, but like I said, he knows that with you, it'd be much more than that. I wish I could offer you more than that, honey. But I can't."
Maya gives her old teacher a smile and says: "Thanks Cory, that helps. At least I know that if wasn't something I did." The four older adults look at her, surprised she'd even think that. "Of course it wasn't anything you've done Maya," Topanga tells her. "If he ever thought, even for a second, that there was something about you he didn't like, he wouldn't have let you near Mati. But instead, he loves every moment you're with her. You're the only person he's allowed to be alone with her that he trusts completely with her, that doesn't have kids of their own. And that says volumes about what he thinks about you." Maya nods her head in acknowledgement. "Thanks Topanga," Maya says, "I want him to know that I would never hurt Mati and would do anything for her….and him." Her mother squeezes her oldest a little tighter and kisses the top of her head. "Everything they've told you is true, kiddo," Shawn tells her. "Your mom and I are so proud of you for what you've done for them, and all of our extended family. And I wish we could offer more, but all you can do is be you and keep doing what you've been doing for them. Who knows what the future will hold." She looks at her life-long mentors with appreciation for what they've told her. "Hope Baby Girl," her mother offers. "You've embraced hope since you were a freshman in high school; don't abandon it now."
And she didn't. Her talk with her parents and surrogate parents helped her tremendously. She and Josh may never be together again like she wished, but she had to admit what she did have was pretty special. Maya finally put all her worries behind and embraced what she had and thoroughly enjoyed being around Josh again, even when they were alone. Everyone notices this and are happy for her. Riley, being Riley, wanted to fix her best friend's problem, but Maya soon convinced her that she was happy with what she had with Josh and would be happy with it for the rest of her life.
It was pretty much routine now that when Maya visited Josh and Mati at their apartment, that she'd spend the night and have breakfast with them in the morning. She could tell that Josh liked this and with Mati, there was no doubt whatsoever. One of Mati's favorite things now was to snuggle with Maya for a few minutes as soon as Maya woke up. Her dad had told her not to wake Maya before she wakes on her own. His daughter reluctantly complied.
On one of the times Maya spent the night, Josh woke up early and decided to start some coffee brewing. He thought he could do that without waking Maya. Sharing a cup of coffee with Maya in the mornings had become something they enjoyed doing together. And Maya had introduced him to some exotic coffees that she had discovered while living in Europe. As he quietly opens his bedroom door to make his way to the kitchen, he notices that Mati's bedroom door is ajar. He looks inside her room and finds her bed empty. "She better not have 'accidently' woken Maya, as she's done before," he thinks to himself. He makes his way to the living room to see what his energetic daughter may have done. But what he finds, stops him in his tracks and he fills his heart with joy. Apparently sometime during the night, Mati had gotten up and made her way to the couch where Maya was sleeping and crawled into bed with her. Because there was his daughter "spooning" with Maya. Mati was clutching her favorite sleep toy, "Barry the Bear II" which had been a gift from Riley after her mother died, and Maya was clutching Mati. The two seemed to be sleeping peacefully and quietly. Josh couldn't help but smile. He returned to his room and retrieved his phone to make some pictures of the scene he'd just witnessed. After taking several pictures, he returned to his room, sat on his bed, and looked at them. While doing so, he notices something and zoomed in on Mati's face. When he did, a tear ran down his cheek. The look he saw on his daughter's face was a look he hadn't seen in a long time. It was a look of complete contentment and happiness. He hadn't seen that look on his beloved daughter's face since her mother had died. There had been times when he and Ann had stood in Mati's bedroom door, after she'd gone to sleep, and just watched her sleep. And that was the last time he'd seen that look, until now. After looking at the pictures for a few minutes, his gaze went to the nightstand next to his bed. On it was a picture of him, Ann, and Mati, that was taken after a hiking trip they'd gone on together. It was taken only a few weeks before Ann died. His eyes traveled to the smiling face of his wife. He picked up the picture to look at it closer. He let his thumb gently brush over her smiling face. "I know what you did Ann," he says quietly. "I don't know how you did it, but I know you sent Maya to be with Mati, to help her." As he continues to look at the picture, he says quietly: "You were such a good mother. From the day she was born, Mati was the most important thing in your life. She was the first thing you thought of when you woke in the morning, and the last thing you thought of before your head hit the pillow at night. And it made me love you just that much more. And now," he went on, "somehow, you've helped her from beyond the grave." As he continues to look at the picture, a voice he hadn't heard for over two years, comes from the middle of the room. And the voice says: "I sent her to you too, Josh."
Josh is startled by the voice. There's not supposed to be anyone in his room. When he looks in the direction from where the voice came, he sees what appears to be his deceased wife standing in the middle of his bedroom; and he's understandably shocked. He begins to sputter as he tries to say something. "Who? Ann? What?' is all he can get out. The image then smiles at him, which calms him somewhat. She walks closer and says calmly: "It's me baby." This may have answered a question, but he had so many more. "How? Why" is all he can ger out though. Ann sits down on the bed beside him, still smiling at him and answers his question. "Do you remember those stories you heard about Shawn's dad coming to see him, after he'd died, to help Shawn when he needed him?" Josh nods his head. "Well, those stories were true," she tells him. "And I'm proof of that." Josh nods, signifying he understands. "As to why I'm here," she continues, "I'm here to help you, even though you don't realize you need help. And you're right, I did send Maya to help Mati, and that worked better than I could possibly have imagined. From what you and Riley told me about her, I thought she might be good for Mati, but like I said, she's been so much better than I thought." She pauses to let that sink in. "Now, as for how I did it, on the day she ran into you and Mati in that park, she was originally going downtown to sketch some of the New York skyline. But I planted a thought in her head: 'go to the park,' which she did, but the rest of what happened on that day and since then, was all the three of you. I planted no more suggestions in her head." She paused again to let that sink in.
"What is the help you think I need?" He finally asks. Her smile grows, because now they're getting to the main purpose of her visit with him. "Like I said Josh," she begins, "I not only sent Maya to Mati, but I sent her to you too." He looks at her, not sure at what she's getting at. "Josh," she says, "I still have a connection with you. I can feel what you're feeling at times. And I can feel how lonely you are baby, and how you ache to be with someone; someone that can not only love you but love our daughter as well; someone who can help you raise her in a loving family like we had; and that someone is Maya." That last part shocks Josh, but as he looks into Ann's eyes, he can tell he can't hide anything from her. "I can feel your heart soar when you're with her, Josh; I can feel it soar even if Mati just mentions her name. I also know that she wants to be with you so much. I can see her through Mati's eyes and I've seen how she looks at you when you're not looking at her." Again she pauses. "And I know why you won't act on your feelings for her. You think that being with Maya will somehow tarnish my memory, or that it feels like you're cheating on me." Josh's head snaps up in surprise, but again, he knows that Ann has seen the truth. "And I'm here to tell you baby, that none of that is true. You being with Maya will not tarnish my memory and certainly won't mean you're cheating on me. I know that, and so does all your family." All Josh can do now is nod his head that he understands, but he's still not sure he can do it. And Ann feels that. She takes Josh's hand in hers. He can feel it's warmth. "Josh," she begins, "you and Maya have my blessing; go out with her; go on dates with her; go to plays with her; go to art shows with her; dance in the rain with her; laugh with her again; sleep with her again." That last request takes him completely by surprise. Ann can't help but laugh. "You never talked about that part of your relationship with Maya, but you can't tell me that you dated that gorgeous girl for four years and didn't sleep with her." Josh smiles and his face actually turns red. Ann returns his smile. "That's what I thought," she says. "I would have been disappointed with you if you hadn't." After a short moment, Ann decides it's time to finish up her stay with Josh. "Josh, promise me you'll talk with Maya about this; promise me, please. I know it's a cliché, but I want you to be happy baby, so promise me you'll talk to Maya about this." Josh wipes the moisture from his eyes. "I promise I'll talk with her Ann," he says. "But I know her, and since I've told her that I'm not interested in another relationship, she may have a hard time accepting that I want one with her now." Ann gives him a knowing nod. "I'd thought of that," she begins. "Maya's sleeping right now, so I'm going to visit her in a dream." Josh smiles and says: "Good, and she'll enjoy that. She always wished she could have met you." Ann responds with: "me too." With that, Ann stands up and begins to walk away. But suddenly, she turns back to Josh and says: "Be happy my love." And then, she was gone.
Maya's eyes open slowly. She looks around and realizes she not in Josh's room sleeping on his couch. But where is she? She seems to be in a large, empty room. It has a floor and a ceiling, a very tall ceiling, but it doesn't seem to have any walls. The floor and ceiling seem to go on forever, in all directions as she looks around. Then she notices that she is sitting on a couch that's as white as new fallen show. She also notices she's wearing a bright white dress that goes all the way to the floor and it covers all of her except for her head and hands, yet is feels like she has on nothing at all. She's puzzled by all this because she seems she's sitting in the middle of a room that has no end. As she looks around her, she notices, off in the distance, a small white dot. She can't tell if the dot is a hundred yards away or a hundred miles away. As she continues to watch the dot, she realizes it's getting bigger. Then she realizes the dot is not getting bigger, but rather is getting closer to her. Closer and closer it comes until she sees that the dot is actually someone walking. As the person gets closer, she soon realizes it's a woman with brown hair and she's wearing the same type of dress that she is, a long, white, flowing dress that covers all but her head and hands. Finally, the woman gets near enough to her that she can make out the face, and it surprises and even shocks her. As the woman approaches, Maya thinks she recognizes the face. Now she's completely bewildered by what's she's experiencing. The woman smiles a bright smile that Maya recognizes from so many pictures she's seen oh her. "Ann?" She asks tentatively. The smile grows. "Yes Maya," the woman says. "It's me, Ann." Maya's eyes grow wide. "What, how?" She asks. Seeing Maya's confusion, she sits next to her on the couch next to her to explain to her what's going on. "You're asleep right now Maya and I'm visiting you in your dream." After letting her think about that for a moment, Ann continues. "I have something important I need to talk with you about Maya, but first I want to tell you something." Maya looks at her in surprise. "I first want to thank you for what you've done for my little girl." Ann's voice actually cracks slightly as she tells Maya this. Maya's eyes fill with tears. That thank you, coming from Mati's mother, means more to her, with the possible exception of Josh, than anything anyone else has ever said to her about Mati. "You're wonderful little girl has come to mean more to me than I ever though any child could ever mean. She's stole my heart Ann and I don't ever want it back." This gets the warmest smile Maya has ever seen from Ann. "I know Maya. I have a connection with Mati and I can feel what she feels when she's with you. You've changed her for the better, Maya. My little girl's happy again; happy like she used to be, before I was taken from her." Ann sees the pained look on Maya's face when she said that. "It's okay Maya," Ann begins. "And I don't need to have a connection with you to know what you're thinking. You're thinking you'd give up everything: Mati, Josh, and the relationship you have with them, if it'd bring me back." Maya nods, trying her best not to cry at Ann's words. "But that's not going to happen Maya; what's done is done. But I had a chance to do something about their loss. I know what you'd be willing to sacrifice, because of what Josh and Riley told me about you. Riley always said that most people though she was the caring one, while you were less caring. She also said that simply wasn't true. And Josh told me you had the greatest capacity to love that he'd ever seen. And that's why I sent you to my little girl." Maya's head snapped up in surprise with Ann's last remark. Ann knew she needed to explain more. "Do you remember the day you ran into Josh and Mati at that park?" She asks. Maya nods. "Do you remember what you had originally planned on doing that morning?" Maya thinks back, then says: "Yes, I had originally planned on going downtown to sketch the New York skyline, but changed my mind and decided, at the last minute, to go to that park instead." Ann smiles a knowing smile. "I planted that thought in your head Maya; to go to that park instead. I wanted you to meet Mati that day and become a part of her life. And you did, more than I ever dreamed possible." Maya's eyes grew large after Ann told her this, but then she smiled because of what Ann had done for Mati, and for her. "That's not all Maya," she continues, "I sent you to Josh as well. I wanted you to be a part of Josh's life as well." Maya is stunned by this revelation. "He needed you as much as Mati did." Maya can't believe what Ann's telling her. "Now Maya, this is important. I planted that thought in your head to go to that park, but that was all I did. What happened between you and Josh and you and Mati was all you and them. I had nothing to do with that. I wanted the three of you to meet and just hoped that good things would happen, and they did." After Maya has a chance to digest what she's just been told, Ann continues. "Maya, I still have a connection with Josh as well as Mati. I can feel what he feels at times. And I could feel how lonely he was Maya. How he ached to be with someone; how he longed to love someone again. And that's why I sent you to him Maya. I believe you're the only person in the world that he could ever love again. I'm absolutely convinced of that." Maya couldn't believe what she'd just been told. "You….you'd be okay with Josh and I dating?" She asked, not really sure she had heard Ann correctly. "Yes, I would Maya," Ann answered. "Not only would I be okay with it," she continues, "but I want it to happen. You and Josh have my blessing. And I also told him that I was going to visit you in a dream and tell you the same thing." Maya nods, but then lowers her gaze and softly says: "He told me he didn't think he'd ever want to be in a relationship again." Ann smiles. "I know that," she says. "But I convinced him otherwise." This get's Maya's attention, and Ann knows Maya wants to know how. "I know why he didn't want to ack on his feelings for you Maya, and I told him his reasons were wrong." Maya asks: "Did you visit him in a dream too?" Ann shakes her head and answers: "No, I told him in person, face-to-face." Ann explains further, knowing Maya wouldn't understand. "Do you remember those stories your dad told you about his dad visiting him after he died, when Shawn needed him the most?" Maya nods. "Grandpa Chet, yes I remember," she answers. "Well, that's what I did with Josh. I just visited him a few minutes ago in his bedroom." Maya looks up in surprise. "Josh felt that acting on his feelings for you would somehow tarnish my memory or that he'd be cheating on me. I told him that's simply not true. I told him I don't believe that; Cory and Topanga don't believe that; Riley doesn't believe that; and grandma and grandpa Matthews don't believe that. No one does." She pauses to let Maya think about what she'd just told her. "And Maya," Ann continues, "I told him I wanted you two to start seeing each other again, to date again, that you two had my blessing. And I made him promise me he'd talk to you about that, and Josh has never broken a promise to me." Mayas at a loss for words.
Ann can see she's done all she can do. It's up to them to take the next step. "Well, I need to go now," she says. This snaps Maya out of her trance. 'Wait Ann," she says. "You said I was dreaming and I know that in dreams, hours, days, and even weeks can pass is just a few seconds. Can't you stay just a little longer? There are so many things I want to ask you. Like: how you met Josh; when did you know you had fallen in love with him; what it felt like when you found out you were pregnant; how it felt to hold Mati in your arms for the first time; and so many other questions." Ann smiles at her appreciatively. "That would be fun Maya," she says. "But it's time for you to wake up now and begin this new chapter of your life." Maya is disappointed, but understands. "We could have been friends; couldn't we Ann?" Maya asks, as a tear forms in her eye. Ann smiles and takes Maya's hands in hers. "We would have been Maya, the best of friends."
Maya's eyes open, and she sees she's back in Josh's living room, laying on his couch. She looks around and isn't surprised to see Mati sitting in a chair, looking at her. "Morning sleepyhead," Mati says with a giggle. "Mati," she hears Josh warn. "She was awake already dad, I promise. Her eyes were open and she was looking around." Maya chuckles to herself. "She's right Josh," Maya says. "She didn't wake me." She smiles at Mati, sits up, and throws off her blanket. This has become a signal to Mati. The little girl jumps off her chair and runs to Maya's side and hugs her tight. Maya hugs her back. "How's my little snuggle bunny this morning?" Maya asks. "I'm great, now that I'm snuggling with you," Mati answers. Josh, who's in the kitchen, starting breakfast, can't help but smile. It brings him such joy that his daughter and Maya have bonded so well. "How did you sleep Maya," she asks. "Good, Mati," Maya answers. "I slept good, even though I had a strange dream." She looks at Josh when she says this and sees him immediately look her in the eye. "Was it a nightmare Maya?" The little girl asks. "Did it wake you?" Maya smiles down at her. "No honey, it wasn't a nightmare," she answers. "It was actually quite a pleasant dream." She looks at Josh again, who's still looking at her, and they nod to each other, telling each other they know what's happen to each of them in the last few minutes, and that they need to have a serious talk soon; but breakfast first. "Let's go help your dad with breakfast Mati. I'm hungry." Mati gets off the couch and proclaims: "Me too!" They both head into the kitchen to help with breakfast.
Nothing eventful happen while they eat breakfast. It was just normal talk they have often when they eat together. After breakfast, they all help clean the kitchen and load the dishwasher. When they finish, Josh turn to Mati and asks: "Mati, can you go play in your room for a while? Maya and I have something we need to talk about." She looks at them both and says: "You have adult talk to do, dad?" She asks. "Yes, we have some adult talk to do," Josh answers with a chuckle. As Mati heads to her room, Josh says: "let's sit on the couch." Maya nods her agreement.
"So," Maya begins, "Ann came to visit you this morning like grandpa Chet come to see dad a few times?"
Josh nods. "She did," He replies.
Did she visit you in a dream?" He asks.
"She did," Maya answers, marveling at how weird this conversation would sound to someone listening to it. "She told me the reason you haven't acted on your feelings for me was because you felt it would tarnish her memory or that it would feel like you were cheating on her."
"That's right," he says.
"And now?" Maya asks cautiously.
"She explained to me that no one, including herself, would ever think that." Josh says. "And she said she would give her blessing if we wanted to start seeing each other again."
"And do you want to?" Maya asks cautiously again, "start seeing each other, dating again?"
Josh smiles now. "I do Maya. What about you?"
Maya thinks for a second before answering, which surprises Josh. He thought she'd be eager for them to date again. "I do Josh," she begins, "it's just that…." She trails off searching for the right words to says. Josh takes her hesitancy as a sign.
"Maya, if you've changed your mind, for whatever reason," Josh says, "I can appreciate that. If you'd rather we not see each other, romantically, I understand. This isn't a normal or conventional situation we're in right now. We can still be friends and hang out. I never want to give that up."
She looks at Josh and smiles at him lovingly, because he's being Josh, doing whatever he can to make her happy. "No Josh, I want to, it's just….we're two different people now than when we dated before. Back then, we had few responsibilities. You had just started your job and basically just did what you were told. All I had to do was show up for class, make good grades, and paint, which I loved. I mean, how many times, Josh, did we wake up and say: 'let's go somewhere'? Then, pack a bag and take off, not even thinking about where we'd go, just to get out of the city." Josh smiles as he remembers those carefree days. "But it's different now Josh," she continues. "We both have responsibilities now. You have people at work that depend on you, and so do I. We can't be that irresponsible any more. And the biggest difference, is the biggest responsibility you've ever had, and, I realize, the biggest responsibility I've ever had as well. And that's Mati." She pauses before continuing. "I guess what I'm saying Josh….is….yes, I want to go out with you again, but only if Mati is okay with it. As much as I want to be with you, I can't if she's not okay with it." She looks into his eyes, trying to see if she can read his reaction, but she can't. Josh, for his part, is amazed at what Maya's just told him. He knew she wanted to be with him again, but instead of just agreeing immediately, the first thing she thought of, was his daughter. And he's reminded again how the girl he's known since childhood has grown and matured into the amazing woman sitting next to him.
Maya, still wondering what Josh is thinking, sees a slight smile form on his face. Then, before she realizes what's happening, he gently takes her face in his hands and brings their lips together and they share a kiss for the first time in over ten years. As soon as their lips touch, a thousand memories flood back into Maya's mind. Memories of the first time they kissed and her thinking it was the most amazing kiss she'd ever had; to the last time they kissed, just before she boarded the plan that was taking her to London, and her thinking it was the saddest kiss she'd ever had because she thought she may never see him again; to the first time they made love, and how she cried in Josh's arms when they finished, causing Josh to fear he'd hurt her somehow, until she explained to him it was the most amazing thing she'd ever experienced; to all the times they'd laughed together, some of them so hard that it caused their sides to hurt; to the many, many times they'd just held each other, not talking or doing anything else, and enjoying just being close to one another. For Maya, it was the happiest time of her life and nothing she'd ever experienced since then, even came close to matching it.
Josh finally released the kiss, which caused Maya to snap back into reality. "Why did you do that Josh?" she asked. He looked at her, a little bewildered by her question, and answered: "Well, there's this gorgeous woman sitting next to me that I wanted to kiss, and I thought would want to kiss me, so I kissed her." Then Josh brought their lips together for the second time. Maya wasn't prepared for this kiss either, but moaned when their lips met for the second time. This time, however, she kissed him back. She put one hand behind his neck and held their lips tight together. She suddenly broke their second kiss and pleaded: "Josh, please stop doing that." This confused him. "Why, am I doing it wrong?"
"Yes!" She shouted. "I mean no!" Seeing she was confusing Josh, she explained. "The kisses are fine Josh, wonderful even, but that's the point. The more you kiss me, the harder it'll be to give them up if Mati's not okay with us dating." Josh thinks a moment, then says: "Okay, I can understand that." Maya breathes a sigh of relief, believing Josh finally understands her dilemma. But Josh suddenly kisses her for a third time. This time though, she breaks the kiss almost immediately. "Josh!" she says, annoyed with him, "I asked you not to kiss me anymore. Why do you keep doing it!" He smiles at her broadly. "Because I know my daughter," he begins, "and I know she's going to be thrilled when we start dating." With that, he starts it kiss Maya for a fourth time, but she stops him before he can. "Josh, I know you believe that, but I need to hear it coming straight from her." He nods in understanding. "Okay, I get it," he says. "Let's go talk to her right now." Maya is relieved to hear that. "And I think we need to also tell her about our history; all of it, including the part where we dated." Josh smiles and says: "I agree, now's the time to tell her." He takes her by the hand and begins to lead her to Mati's room. Maya doesn't protest, but him holding her hand is almost as intoxicating as him kissing her. The entire time they dated, when they were together, Josh would be in physical contact with her in some way. If he wasn't holding her hand, he'd have his hand on her shoulder, or lower back, or arm, or thigh. And she loved the feeling of him touching her. And this hand holding was no different, but she decided not to say anything. It wouldn't last long anyway. When they reached Mati's room, Josh let her hand go and gently knocked on Mati's door. He opened it slightly and asked: "Can Maya and I come in and talk with you honey?" She smiled when she saw them standing in her doorway. "Sure dad, come in," she answers. "Are you through with your adult talk?" She asks with a smile.
Josh any Maya both sit on Mati's bed, one on each side of her. "We are honey," Josh answers. "But now we need to talk to you. And it's important, so I need you to pay attention. Okay?" She nods her head as she looks, first at Maya and then at Josh. "Mati," Josh begins, "we've told you that Maya and I have known each other since we were children, right?" Mati nods as she looks at her dad. "And you know that Maya and I have always been friends, right?" She nods again. "Well, there's something we haven't told you about us that Maya and I think you need to know now." She looks at Maya and then back to Josh and says: "Okay." Josh continues. "Well, when Maya was in college, she and I dated." The little girl's eyes widen in surprise. "Dated," she exclaims, "you mean like boyfriend and girlfriend?" The two adults exchange looks, then Josh continues. "Yes, we were boyfriend and girlfriend," he answers. Mati thinks for a minute, then her eyes get even bigger and says: "While Maya was in college? That was like four years. You were boyfriend and girlfriend for four years?!" She looks at Maya, astonished it seems, who tells her: "Yes Mati, your dad and I were boyfriend and girlfriend for four years." Mati takes all this in for a minute, then another question pops into her head. "Four years, why aren't you still together? Did you and dad have a big fight or something?" Josh decides to answer her. "No honey, that wasn't it. Maya and I stopped dating when she got the offer to study art in Europe." Mati seems to look at her dad in disbelief. "You see honey," he begins, "when you care for someone as much as I cared for Maya, you don't stand in the way of their dreams. And studying art overseas was what Maya had dreamed of since she was fourteen years old. So, I let we go, so she could chase her dreams." Even though she was young, Mati understood the magnitude of her dad's decision. Then Maya added, "it was the hardest decision I ever made in my life Mati. I left behind everything and everyone I knew and loved, including your dad." Josh looked at Maya in surprise, because that was the first time either of them admitted they loved the other. They looked at each other with sad eyes, but knew that none of that mattered now. Mati, seeing the sad look on Maya's face, asks: "Were you sad Maya, when you left?" She stroked the little girl's hair, seeing the concern on her face. "I was honey. I cried every day for the first week or so I was away," she answers. Mati turns to her dad then. "Were you sad to see her leave dad?" She asks. He catches Maya's eyes briefly before turning back to his daughter. "I was honey," I cried for a week after she left. I stayed with Uncle Cory and he and Aunt Topanga took care of me, till I was better." Maya looks at Josh in surprise. She hadn't heard that story before.
"I wish dad hadn't let you go Maya," Mati suddenly says. "I don't like that you and dad were so sad when you left." Maya's eyes well up with tears. She hugs the sad little girl and thinks: "You are your father's daughter." She lets Mati go, looks into her eyes, and tells her: "I don't regret it at all Mati," she begins. "I got to study art and become the artist I always wanted to be." Josh adds: "And I'm so proud and happy for her, Mati, I have no regrets." This seems to brighten the little girl up. "And Mati," Maya says, getting the little girl's attention again, "if I hadn't left, your dad would have never met your mom; and it they hadn't met, they would have never had you; and that would have really been sad." Maya hugs Mati again. Josh watches this and thinks about what Maya has just told his daughter, and says to himself: "just another example of what an amazing woman Maya has become.
Josh decides it's time to ask Mati about him and Maya dating again. "Mati," he begins, "Maya and I have something to ask you." She looks at her dad. "Maya and I have decided that we'd like to date again." Mati's eyes grow wide and a little grin forms on her face. "You mean like boyfriend and girlfriend with all that kissy face stuff?" She asks. Josh and Maya chuckle at her question. "Yeah, they'll probably be some of that," Maya answers, as she looks at Josh, a little embarrassed. She's never kissed Josh in front of Mati, so that seems a little strange to her. "But honey," Josh continues, "Maya and I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend only if you're okay with it." Mati's face lights up, which Maya and Josh were hoping to see. But just as quickly, it fades from her face. Maya and Josh see this, and are concerned. "Mati," Josh says, "it's okay if you don't want us to date. Maya will still be our friend and still hang out with us, just like she does now." Mati shakes her head slightly. "No dad, that's not it. I want you two to be boyfriend and girlfriend." She looks at her dad and smiles. "Maya makes you happy dad, and that makes me happy." She turns to Maya. "And dad makes you happy Maya, and that makes me happy too. It's just that…." She trails off, not quite knowing what to say next. "There's no wrong answer here Mati," her dad tells her, "whatever you want is fine with both of us,". She nods. "That's not it. I've been hoping that you two might want to be boyfriend and girlfriend dad." Maya and Josh grin at that. "It's just that you'll be going on dates, holding hands, and doing all that kissy face stuff, that boyfriends and girlfriends do, and you won't have time for the three of us to do things together or for Maya and I to have a girl's day together. I love those things, and I'll miss them." This surprises Maya and Josh. "No honey, no," Maya tells her. "There's no way I would ever give up my time with you and your dad or my girl time with you. I love those things too." Mati looks at her in surprise. "You wouldn't?" She asks. "No, I wouldn't," Maya answers. "Yes, your dad and I will need some time alone," she continues, "so we can get to know each other as boyfriend and girlfriend again. But neither one of us would ever give up time with you." Mati looks first at one adult and then the other, till a big grins explodes on the face. "Yaaaa!" She exclaims and throughs her arms around Maya's neck. "You make dad so happy Maya," she says, "happier than he's been, since we lost mom." A tear runs down Maya's check when Mati tells her that. Then she hugs her dad. "I love Maya dad, and you make her so happy. She deserves to be happy." Maya tries to hold back her tears, as she remembers Riley saying that to her, so long ago, when she called to tell her Josh was engaged. Maya composes herself, then looks at Josh. He leans over to kiss her, and this time she offers no complaint or resistance like she had earlier. Her hand slides up to the back of his head as she kisses him back. She can't remember being this happy. They release their kiss and just look into each other's eyes. They hold that look until Mati says: "Ewwww!" Which causes Josh and Mati to laugh. Maya looks at her and proclaims: "You better get used to it kiddo, because there's going to be a lot of it." Mati wrinkles her nose, which causes Maya, and then Josh, to start tickling her till the little girl is almost out of breath. When they stop, Maya looks at these two people, who have made her so happy, and an idea popped into her head. "How about this," she says, getting their attention, "why don't your dad and I go on our first date today….and take you with us." A big grin breaks out on Josh's face. "Really," the little girl says in astonishment. "I think that's a great idea Maya," Josh says.
Maya tells them that she needs to go to her apartment to clean up and change clothes. Josh tells her that he and Mati need to do the same. They agree to meet in an hour at a place about halfway between their two apartments to begin their date.