"Why are you awake?" Quinn asked, sleepily.
Santana jumped at the girl's voice. Quinn giggled, and Santana went from instant defense to warm love. Quinn didn't giggle often, but it was one of San's favorite sounds. "Shh…it's late, go back to sleep."
Quinn rolled over and looked at her phone, "It's two in the morning, technically it's early. What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Santana told her. She pulled Quinn into her and started to rub her back and hum.
Quinn snuggled into Santana's side and fought sleep. "I couldn't say 'nothing' to you."
"I don't think that's entirely true, but you are right, I usually push you to tell me." Santana told her, still not volunteering any thoughts.
Quinn thought about what to say to that. Her first instinct was to kick and throw a mini fit, but she knew that Santana wouldn't appreciate that, especially at such an early hour. "S…"
"I was thinking that I'm not sure we've attacked the problem right." Quinn struggled to sit up next to Santana, but S held her down, "No, Quinn. If you get up you won't go back to sleep, I will talk to you, but stay laying down."
Quinn swallowed down her frustration but stopped struggling to sit up. If she threw a fit now, San would be done with the conversation. "Yes Ma'am."
Santana looked down at her, "Good girl. Thank you for listening." She pulled Quinn closer and rubbed her back. "The truth is that Rachel and Britt will never be us…"
"Yeah, we're way cooler."
Santana didn't even need to look down, she could hear the smile in Quinn's voice. "So then I probably don't need to be so strict with Rach, because Britt will never want to maintain that. Honestly, we need to know what their end game is, so that we know how to be."
"I think that's a good place to start at our meeting." Quinn agreed.
Santana sighed, and looked down at Quinn, "But what does that mean for you, mi amor?"
"Fun?" Quinn asked.
Santana looked down at her smirking girlfriend and swatted her lightly, "I'm serious."
"I know. I just don't know what the answer is. It's exhausting trying to figure ot who to be for other people." Quinn told her honestly.
Something about those words struck Santana to the core; she never wanted Quinn to struggle with who she should be. Was she asking Quinn for too much in this? What about Rachel or even herself, they needed a new plan for sure. She kept rubbing Quinn's back absentmindedly. She could feel Quinn struggling to stay awake, "Go to sleep, Baby. Nothing will be solved right now."
"Are you going to sleep?" Quinn asked.
Santana smiled down at her, "I've got a lot on my mind, but I will try." Santana scooted down in the bed. Quinn rolled over on top of her, and Santana laughed. "Quinn!"
"I'm just making sure you can't leave me." Quinn laughed.
Santana wrapped her arms around the love of her life, she could hear the slight anxiety behind Quinn's laugh. "Never, Baby." Quinn fell asleep after a few minutes, and Santana gently kissed the top of her head. She loved Rachel and Brittany, they were family, but Quinn was her soul, and she would never do anything that would mess with her; she always had to come first.
The next morning, Quinn woke up to an empty bed, and immediately felt alone and insecure. She got up and walked out to the living room where Britt and Santana were talking. She wrapped her arms around S, and rested her head on her back. "You left me."
"I'm sorry, Baby, I was only out here." Sanatana told her, keeping her tone soft at the vulnerability in Quinn's voice.
"Can I go for a run?" Quinn asked.
"Can I come with?" Santana asked.
"I want to clear my head a little before our talk." Quinn told her, essentially saying no without using the word.
Santana turned around and lifted Quinn's chin, "I gave you a time to be home yesterday, did you come home on time?"
"No ma'am." Tears filled Quinn's eyes; she couldn't stand any loss of trust.
"So do you understand why I would be a little hesitant to let you go out this morning?" Santana asked her, gently.
"Yes ma'am."
Santana looked behind Quinn to the microwave, "It's about seven-thirty now. We will be sitting down to breakfast and conversation at ten-thirty sharp. I expect you showered and bottom in that chair, at ten-twenty-nine, am I understood?"
"Yes ma'am." Quinn assured, starting to pull away to go get changed.
"Quinn, what do you think is going to happen if your backside in that chair on time?" Santana asked her firmly.
"Nothing good?" Quinn asked, biting her lip, and tugging on the edge of Santana's shirt.
Santana put her hands over Quinn's to still it. "I want you to tell me what you think would be a fair consequence for that."
"To not be able to go out without you the rest of the week?" Quinn asked.
Santana chuckled, "That's a good start, Baby, anything else?"
"A spanking?" Quinn asked.
Santana pulled her in close and kissed her face. "Be on time, Baby."
"Yes ma'am."
With that Quinn rushed off to their room to change. Santana walked over to Britt. "Ready to make breakfast?"
Santana tugged on her best friends arm, "Come sit with me, we have time." She pulled her over to the couch and sat down, wrapping her arms around the blonde.
"Do you want to game plan?" Britt asked.
"No, I just want to sit and chill for a moment." Santana told her. The two sat in comfortable silence for the next hour, just pulling strength from each other.
Quinn made sure that she was home with thirty minutes to spare. She kissed Santana and went to go shower. She made sure that she was out to the kitchen with ten minutes to spare.
"Hey, Baby, good job! I appreciate you being mindful of the time. Can you set out the plates?" Santana praised.
"Yes." Quinn said, she pulled the plates down.
Rachel sat at the breakfast bar and chatted with Britt, who was pulling cinnamon rolls from the oven. Santana was stirring some fruit and mint into water.
Quinn scrunched her nose at the food sat down in front of her. "What?" Santana asked.
"Nothing." Quinn said, reaching out to grab a piece of bacon.
Santana had gotten in the habit of letting these things go, but things just felt unbalanced all the way around, and she was done with it. She reached out to stop Quinn's hand, "Quinn, do you remember when we used to be on the same team, sometimes struggling but always towards the same goal?"
Quinn pulled her hand back and sat down in her chair, hurt splashing across her face, "We are on the same team."
"I want nothing more than to give you everything this world has to offer, but somewhere along the way, you stopped telling me what that meant to you."
"It's just breakfast, S, it isn't that big of a deal." Quinn said, defensiveness replacing the hurt.
"That would be true for anyone else at this table, but it isn't for you." Santana told her, not budging from her position. "So, what is wrong with the breakfast? It's probably something that can be fixed."
"It's just very sugar and carb heavy to start the day." Quinn told her, "I don't want to feel this cinnamon roll in my stomach all day."
Everything about that sentence made Santana want to throw up. It made sense though, while unclear about what she needed, Quinn had been clear about feeling chaotic. This would always be the first thing Quinn struggled to control. She had been working out a lot more lately, and Santana had been prompting more and more at meals. She walked over to the fridge. "My alternative option for you is a cheese, spinach and tomato omelet."
Quinn looked around the kitchen, "Can I swap avocado for the cheese?"
"No, but you can add it." Santana told her, pulling the eggs and cheese out.
Quinn nodded at that, "Yes please, and like half a piece of bacon?"
"You got it, Baby. Anyone else want an omelet?"
"No way, these look great!" Rachel said, looking down at the cinnamon rolls.
"Can I have a one the same as Quinn's?" Britt asked.
"Coming up." Santana told her.
In ten minutes both girls had an omelet in front of them. Santana kissed Quinn's temple as she set her plate down. "You know this has more calories in it than the cinnamon roll would, right?" Quinn asked.
"I love that you know that." Santana said sarcastically. "Does it have more than two cinnamon rolls, and two pieces of bacon? That's your alternative."
"No ma'am." Quinn said, picking up her fork.
"Then count your blessings." Santana told her, reaching to grab a cinnamon roll. "So I think that we need a new plan."
"What?" Rachel asked, confused. "Are you giving up on me?"
Santana looked over at the girl, "No. Never, but it doesn't make sense for me to try and turn you into someone that I would want to top, and Quinn is too different too, and that's okay, we just need a new plan is all."
"I agree." Britt said, "I didn't enjoy spanking Quinn that hard."
Quinn snorted. Santana raised an eyebrow, she was done with the spoiled brat act, her girl needed to be checked. "Sorry, Britt." Quinn said quickly.
"No, I get it, I'm sure that Santana spanks much harder." Britt told her warmly.
"She does," Rachel said, "And she gives confusing instructions, they are like riddles."
Quinn smirked at that and looked at her girlfriend. Santana did like to instruct through questions, but she had spent enough time in the Lopez house growing up to be used to it. "Eat." Santana instructed rolling her eyes at Rachel's assessment.
"Yes ma'am." Quinn laughed, bringing the fork back to her mouth.
Quinn's laughter was always a good mile marker for Santana of how well the girl was doing. The smiles, eating, and calm were all things Quinn could fake, but the increase in laughter, let Santana know that they were on the right track again.
"Any ideas?" Britt asked.
"Well I know that you both have class this afternoon, but I was thinking maybe the four of us could take the day to think about and make a list of what we need from our partners, what rules we think would be good and then when we meet for dinner we can compare and contrast them." Santana told them.
"Then what?" Rachel asked.
"We can think about then what after." Santana told her.
Rachel nodded at that. "Britt?"
"I like that idea," Brittany said. They ate and talked about what they had missed in the last week of being separated. Rachel got up to go to class, and Britt left soon after.
"I want you to do the dishes, then meet me in our room." Santana told Quinn.
"Yes ma'am." Quinn hopped up and started in right away, glad to be moving after two hours of sitting.
Santana walked back to start her list, confident that things were on the right track. It was also a good sign that Quinn hadn't seemed at all worried that she was in trouble.
Twenty minutes later, Quinn appeared in the doorway, smiling. "Hey, we don't have class today, wanna cuddle?"
"I do, but I'm going to piss you off first." Santana told her honestly.
Quinn shoved her hands in her back jean's pockets and looked down at the floor, always a sign that she thought she was going to get a spanking. "On purpose?"
"It's a necessary evil, not just for fun." She waited and wasn't disappointed when Quinn looked up at her and smiled. "I want you to go get the scale from the bathroom, and bring it here, so we can check your weight."
She watched as all of Quinn's thoughts raced across her face. "I don't want you to be angry."
"What if I told you, that we are in limbo right now, until we settle everything at dinner tonight, you can't get in trouble." Santana told her.
"Really?" Quinn asked.
"Yes, the boundaries are up in the air right now, that doesn't mean go crazy, but does that change your willingness to go get the scale."
"Yes." Quinn turned to go do as she was bid. She walked back in and put the scale down, but hovered next to it.
Santana put her pen and notebook on the bedside table and scooted to the side of the bed. "Come here, Baby." Quinn walked over and leaned into San, making them both fall back. Santana laughed, "What's wrong, Q? You aren't going to be in trouble."
"But you will still be disappointed." Quinn mumbled into her neck.
Santana gently patted Q's bottom while she thought about that. "Is it that bad?"
"I don't know. I haven't checked it in a while." Quinn told her, "But I know that my eating habits have declined a little."
"At this point, my love, all we can do is check together, and see where we have to go from here." Santana told her.
"You aren't angry that we are back at step one?"
"First, this is going to be a lifelong thing, Quinn. I'm committed to you, and so I'm committed to this fight. Second, I don't think we are starting back at step one, I think we are just adjusting what we learned in Ohio to a new environment. These are just growing pains, Baby." Quinn nodded into her neck. "So let's see where we are at, okay?"
"Yes ma'am." Quinn pushed up and went to stand on the scale. Santana tried to keep her face neutral at the 104 flashed up at her, the lowest everyone had agreed on was 115 what they had decided on, but Santana felt like Quinn was the healthiest around 120-125.
Quinn bit her lip, and looked over at San, it was a much different look than the self-satisfied one Quinn had when they had first really argued about this. She opened her arms, and her girl fell into them again. "It's not terrible, Quinn, just not where we want it. We will work on it." Santana gently tried to soothe, the tears that had started falling.
"Are you furious?" Quinn asked between sobs.
"No. A little worried maybe, but I will always find something to worry about when it comes to you." Santana told her, rubbing her back.
Quinn laughed, "you are going to be a nightmare when we have kids."
"Oh, for sure." Santana agreed. She rubbed Quinn's back until the girl settled.
"No spanking?" Quinn asked.
Santana brushed the wet hair for her girl's face, "No spanking."
"What if I wanted one?" Quinn asked.
"Not to worry, after we settle on boundaries, I'm sure you will get one soon enough." Santana joked.
Quinn bit her laughing girlfriend gently. Santana gave her a very firm swat in response. "How did your writing go yesterday?"
"It went okay, but I want to toss it and just make a list like everyone else, is that okay?" Quinn asked.
"Yes, go grab what your going to use to write it, and come back here."
The two sat in silence writing for an hour. When San felt done, she looked over to see Quinn drawing on the edge of her paper. "Do we have to wait until dinner to look at each other's lists?" Quinn hadn't looked up, but could feel Santana's stare.
"I'm okay sharing mine now if you want." Santana told her.
"Sounds like a plan, stan." Quinn set her notepad and pen down on the bedside table and turned to give Santana her full attention.
Santana handed over her paper. Quinn smirked at the very type-A list.
Rules that I think should be set in place:
Community:
Respect everyone's property and peace
No slamming doors.
Clean up after yourself
Be respectful to everyone
Respect the other couples' individual rules
Spend intentional time together
We should be spending at least 2 hours a week together as a unit
A minimum of 30 mins a week one on one time with the other 3 people
Relationship:
Respect
No name calling
No talking back
No whining
Listen when the other person is speaking
Obedience
Needs to be immediate
Needs to be complete
Accompanied by a 'Yes ma'am.'
Honesty
No direct lying
No lies of omission
The expectation is to speak up when you need something
Safety
Always be reachable
Let someone know where you are
Take care of our bodies
Healthy eating
Healthy exercise
Safe amounts of alcohol consumption
No drugs
Nothing that would be deemed 'crazy.'
What I need from this relationship:
I need to know that you will be alive to live this life with me
I need to be able to talk to you
I need for you to feel safe talking to me
I need to trust that you will do what you say you are going to do
This is a big one Quinn: This lifestyle is important to me. I need you to submit. I know there will be ups and downs, but I need for your general attitude to be one of submission, where the pushback is the exception, not the norm.
Consequences for not getting with the program (including but not limited to):
Grounding from:
Phone
Computer
Friends
Working out
TV
Special events/parties
Writing assignments
Essay
Lines
Workouts
Wall sits
Pushups
Run
Mouth Soaping
Corner Time
Spanking:
Maintenance Spankings every Friday
Quinn looked up after reading, "What do you think?" Santana asked.
Quinn reached behind her to hand Santana her own list, "I want to read it again." She left the girl with her notebook, as she stood up to pace while rereading Santana's.
Santana tried not to take that as a bad sign, and instead focused on Quinn's list.
What I think the rules should be:
Honesty
Communication
Obedience
Safety
Eat well
Respect
No yelling at each other
What I need:
Very firm guidelines
Clear consequences
Communication without yelling
Honesty
I need your trust
Side note: I love you lots and lots.
Santana looked up. Quinn has stopped pacing and was leaning on the desk watching her. "Come sit."
"Yes ma'am." Quinn said, coming to sit next to Santana.
"I have a question about your list, and you clearly have some thoughts on mine. You mentioned yelling in here twice, do I yell at you still?" Santana asked.
"You've gotten better, but yes, you still raise your voice like it is an argument winner for you." Quinn told her.
"I will work really hard not to do that anymore." Santana promised her. "What are your thoughts on my list?"
"It's alot." Quinn said.
Santana laughed. "Yes, anything you have a problem with?"
"I don't think so, but I think something that we should add in at least for a little while, is a monthly check in specifically on this topic." Quinn told her.
"I think that's a great idea. What about the last Friday of the month, we can do it before your maintenance spanking." Santana suggested.
Quinn laughed, "Or after. Your list is much more inclusive, so I'm going to add that and the no yelling to your list, okay?"
"Sounds good, Baby. I want you to add a section 4, ready?"
Quinn nodded and picked up the pencil writing down what Santana said.
Things we need to remember:
We are always on the same team
We love each other very much
Mutal trust is a requirement for growth
"I think we are all set, unless you want to add anything." Santana said.
"No, I'm good." Quinn told her.
"If you are good, this goes into effect starting now, am I understood?"
"Yes ma'am, can we go for a run? We've been sitting all day." Quinn said, standing to stretch.
Santana couldn't tell if this was a test or a real question, "You went for a two and a half hour run this morning."
"But then we ate a lot and sat around." Quinn told her.
A real request, Santana thought. She looked at the clock it was getting close to three. They would have a late dinner with Britt's school schedule. "I will make you a deal." I want you to pick a place within a three-mile radius of here to eat lunch. We can run there and walk back." Quinn stood still thinking about that. "It's the best offer you are getting here."
"Then I will take it!" Quinn said. She turned to grab a sweatshirt to throw over her top.
"You are going to run in jeans?"
"You're going to go into a café in running clothes?" Quinn shot back.
"Leggings and a jacket? Yeah, I think that's fine." Santana told her, pulling out clothes to change.
"You do you." Quinn called as she walked into the living room to find a restaurant right on that three mile border.
When they got to the café, Quinn was laughing at Santana trying to keep up. When Quinn stopped, Santana scooped her up and spun her laughing girl around. "I thought you said you wanted to go for a run, not a three mile sprint."
"Is that not the same?" Quinn asked laughing. Santana walked into the café behind Quinn and before she could register anything else, she watched her girl's body language completely change.
"Hey, Quinn! Come sit with us!" A girl called.