Illuminated by Hurts

And try delusion for a while

It's such a beautiful lie

You've got to lose inhibition

Romance your ego for a while

Come on, give it a try

January 8th, 1973

Walking sluggishly between the tables of the Great Hall, the light of early morning drifted lazily through the windows, making her yearn for sleep. Between travelling and getting up every morning an hour before the sun, she was in desperate need of a nap.

Before Winter Holidays, she'd been in the habit of doing the bare minimum with her appearance, allowing her more time to rest in the morning. But two weeks with her mother and father in Italy served as a thorough reminder that beauty was more important than sleep.

Spotting Theya, who looked far more awake than Ivy felt, she took a seat beside her at the Slytherin table across from Regulus. Murmuring her hellos, she gave a nod to the second year, Severus Snape, who had recently joined their little group.

He returned the greeting with a loathing scowl.

The air between them had been taut since a purely accidental social blunder in which she'd indeed found out what a Snivellus was. Fortunately, it wasn't overly bothersome, as she preferred to keep her social group small to allow for more study time.

This was quite unlike Theya, who was already on a first name basis with all of Slytherin House, as well as a smattering of other students. Theya Greengrass, Ivy had found, was quite the socialite and could charm most anyone. Evidence of this was sitting diagonally from her in the form of Snape, who was giving a characteristically vague answer about how his Winter Holidays had been.

"Consider yourself lucky it was dull," Regulus sullenly poked at his kedgeree. "Walburga forced Sirius to come home for Christmas and she really shouldn't have."

"That bad, huh?" Ivy forked an enormous pile of bacon onto her plate and dug in.

"I'm talking about a full two weeks of bleeding eardrums."

Theya sighed. "What happened?"

"Nothing but misery," he grumbled. "Sirius picked fights with our parents the entire time. Then when he got walloped, he'd come whinging to me like it wasn't his own fault. He knows how they are, he just wants to argue."

"He's like that in class too," Snape said quietly.

"Can't say I'm surprised," Theya turned to Ivy. "What about you? What'd you do over Hols?"

"Went to Italy with my parents."

"Not Hazel?" Regulus raised his brows.

"She's sick."

"Still?" Theya spoke around her beans on toast. "What could possibly be keeping her ill this long?"

"I don't know," Ivy lied irritably, repeating what she'd rehearsed with her parents. "We have a Healer who stays with her day and night, plus another who's doing research to figure out what's happening to her."

"What are her symptoms again?" She cocked her head.

"Headache," Regulus answered with ease. "Stomach pain, sore muscles, and fatigue."

Ivy stared at him, not having known that he was paying that much attention to what she said about Hazel. When they locked eyes, his face reddened and he ducked his head, quickly stuffing a bite of kedgeree into his mouth.

"Right," Theya nodded. "And she's been sick since last summer?"

"Mhm," Ivy murmured, hoping she'd drop the subject.

"And they really can't find anything?"

"No," she huffed.

"Shouldn't she be in St. Mungo's?"

"My parents are worried it'll make her worse," she said through gritted teeth.

"But why-"

"Theya," she scowled. "Do I look like I want to talk about Hazel and whether or not she's going to drop dead at any given moment? I did plenty of that over the Holidays, so if you're going to keep asking me about it, let me know now so I can go sit somewhere else!"

She was secretly pleased with how easily the lie had slipped off her tongue.

"You're right," Theya's shoulders sagged. "I wouldn't want to talk about it either."

Ivy went back to her bacon, but remained tense, as Regulus and Snape were analysing her. Not wanting to acknowledge the tension, she changed the subject. "How was your Holiday, then?"

"Boring," the golden-haired witch said. "Except that I accidentally set off Dungbombs in my house. We had to evacuate and stay with my aunt."

"What were you doing with Dungbombs?" Snape asked.

"Remember how Vivienne Parkinson put a Biting Jinx on my chair in Transfiguration? Well, I had this idea to make all her robes smell like Dungbombs. Turns out alchemy isn't my forte."

"I never liked Parkinson," Snape said resentfully.

"You don't like anyone," she pointed out.

Ivy was astonished when the corner of his mouth twitched up in an almost smile.

"I take it back," Theya smirked, eyes flicking over Snape's shoulder. "There's a redhead coming our way who I know you like."

"Shut up," he hissed under his breath.

"Hey, Lily," Theya grinned. "Coming to save me from my less than pleasant company?"

Ivy and Regulus frowned at her.

"Oh, you know I don't mean you," she told them with a playful wink at Snape.

He glared at her, though the look was tame for what he was capable of.

"Sorry to burst your bubble," Evans laughed. "But no. Sev and I had plans to swing by the Library before class. You're free to join us if you'd like."

"But who would keep these two," she gestured to Ivy and Regulus. "From getting frown lines?"

Ivy was about to roll her eyes when she heard a rustling overhead. Looking up at the owls flying in, she released a yelp, barely managing to catch her mail before it slammed into her near-empty plate.

Sorting through her correspondence as Theya chatted with the Mudblood, she held Hazel's daily letter with slightly trembling fingers. She loved hearing from her, truly, but the thought of reading about her parents roughing up her little sister before noon was disconcerting.

Tucking the letter into her robes, she grabbed the Daily Prophet.

Holding it open as wide and steadily as possible so that Regulus could read the back, she smiled to herself. The best part of her mornings was when they each read one side of the paper, then relayed the interesting bits to the other.

Peeking over the newspaper at him, she pondered verbalising the sentiment, but upon making eye contact with him, she hid her face instead.

March 29th, 1973

Scrunching her nose, Ivy hoped that her desire to sneeze would go away. Several students had fallen asleep during History of Magic, but she knew if she sneezed and bats were to fly out of her nose, Professor Binns would do nothing to stop the laughter. Assuming he'd notice the laughter in the first place.

Finishing a line on her parchment, she set the quill down to flex her fingers, which were achy from taking notes.

Feeling the prerequisite itch in her nose again, she began breathing through her mouth.

When the sensation passed, Ivy scowled at Ariadne Zabini's back, as the first year Zabini sibling was the reason she was worried about bats flying out of her nose. The dark-haired witch had learned how to cast the Bat-Bogey Hex from a fifth year, MuA)ndungus Fletcher, who gave her an altered version of the spell.

When she used it on another first year, she ended up hexing the entire class instead.

The staff had yet to figure out how to fix it and didn't know how long it would last. Not only that, but their year had been deemed the Bogey Firsties. Because of this, the Slytherins had taken to jinxing Zabini behind her back or outright not speaking to her, while the other Houses avoided her at all costs.

Hearing parchment jostle and books being shut eagerly, she realised class had come to an end. Gathering her things, she debated waking the two sleeping Hufflepuffs, Dirk Cresswell and Edgar Bones, but decided better of it.

Leaving the classroom with Regulus, they headed towards the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. On the way, Ivy spotted Theya at the far end of the corridor chatting with Emma Vanity, a fourth year Slytherin. They made a surprising duo, as most older students wanted nothing to do with ickle firsties. Especially Bogey Firsties.

By the time they reached the golden-haired witch, the fourth year had departed, so Ivy gave Theya an inquiring look.

"Just getting to know our Housemates," she answered the unasked question. "She's the new Slytherin Quidditch team captain. If the three of us want to make it on the team, we'll need to get to know the players."

"I'm pretty sure tryouts are about talent," Ivy drawled. "Not who you know."

"You'd think so," Regulus said. "But no one wants to be around people they don't like. You'd be surprised how often dislike trumps potential."

"Exactly," Theya said cheerfully. "There's a few other third and fourth years on my list who I still have to get to know, but once that's done, I can introduce the two of you and get you in their good graces."

"Why only third and fourth years?" Regulus asked.

"Because we probably won't be good enough until at least third year," Ivy said confidently. "And by then, the third and fourth years of now will be team captains or have seniority."

"What she said," Theya laughed.

"You're both too clever for your own good," Regulus shook his head as they reached the Defence classroom.

June 15th, 1973

Moving at a snail's pace, Ivy passed the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room, doing her best to keep hold of her caged barn owl as well as the trunk she pulled behind her. The notion of trudging all the way downstairs with such heavy items in tow wasn't appealing, but she knew it was her own fault.

She'd assumed that taking everything with her to Flitwick's office -in order to get a list of Charms books to read over the summer- would be easier than running back down to the Dungeons to get her things afterwards. Now, she knew that was a grandiose mistake.

Cursing Frank Longbottom under her breath, she was certain she would hex him the next time they crossed paths, as the second year was responsible for getting Levitation Charms banned. He'd used one on his trunk and lost focus as he walked down the Grand Staircase. The trunk had tumbled down several floors, knocking students, including herself, to the ground with it. It had taken ages to sort out everyone's items and half of Ivy's stuff had been pillaged during the debacle.

Lost in frustrated thought, Ivy rounded a corner and rammed into someone. Her trunk thudded to the floor and Fernando let out an irritated chirp as she teetered.

"Watch where you're going!" She snapped, regaining her balance after a moment.

"Me?" Sirius frowned. "That was entirely your fault."

Ivy scoffed, setting down the owl to righten her trunk.

It had taken her fifteen minutes to figure out how to balance the heavy cage while also tugging along her trunk, and she was certain it would take the same amount of time to remember how to do it again.

"You're Reg's friend, right?" Sirius snapped his fingers, evidently trying to remember her name. "Ivy Selwyn! Y'know, Reg talks about you all the time during Holidays. Way more than the Greengrass girl - I think he has a crush on you."

Having no idea what to do with that information, she looked around for someone who might save her from the insolent conversation. A few students mosied about in the hallway or lounged in the bay windows, but she didn't recognize any of them.

"Too good to talk to a Gryffindor, are we?" Sirius asked playfully.

"Your brother doesn't like you," Ivy frowned. "And he wouldn't like me talking to you. Neither would my House. Or yours."

"Ouch. You always care this much about what other people think?"

"Yes," she said flatly. "You always give first years a hard time?"

"When they're Bogey Firsties, yeah."

Ivy glared at him and made to grab her things, not caring that she hadn't figured out how to properly handle them yet.

"Relax, it was a joke," Sirius rolled his eyes and she hesitated. "You're not Bogey Girl, remember? Besides, last year I was stuck in a Full Body-Bind Curse on the floor of the greenhouses for hours. Ants got everywhere. And I mean everywhere. There are worse things than being stuck with a prolonged hex."

She surprised herself by cracking a smile.

Sirius grinned back, looking proud of himself.

"I believe that curse was courtesy of a mutual acquaintance," Ivy smirked.

"Snape's your friend?"

"More like a friend of a friend."

He raised a brow.

"Potter said something, she sighed. "About a Snivellus on the train at the start of the year and I asked Snape if he knew what it was. Completely innocently, I might add. Now he thinks I was trying to take the mickey out of him."

"It'd be funnier if you had been."

"Says you. You have the luxury of not being in the same House and Commons as him."

"Hard to avoid him in the snake pit, eh?"

"Very."

Sirius eyed her for a moment before glancing over his shoulder. He then pulled a book out of his robes and offered it to her. "I don't suppose you'd want to take this off my hands for me?"

"Muggles Who Notice by Blenheim Stalk," Ivy took it. "Why?"

"My friend Remus won't shut up about it so I nicked it. 'Course, he'll just find another book to obsess over, but I had to get it away from him before he lent it to Evans."

She raised a brow at him and tucked the book into her robes, doubting she'd ever read it. "Well, I don't want to miss the train."

"Me either," Sirius jerked his head. "Come on then."

"Little hard to do," Ivy picked up the cage, which was heavy enough to topple her over without the added difficulty of her trunk.

"I've got it," Sirius cast a Wingardium Leviosa on her trunk and began down the corridor, tugging his own behind him as hers floated alongside his stride.

"You're not supposed to do that," Ivy jogged to catch up with him.

"Rules are made to be broken."

Ivy had just taken the last step off the staircase alongside Sirius when her nose tingled. A powerful sneeze overtook her and several black bats flew out, giving her nostrils a very odd sensation that she could only describe as abnormally clear of snot.

"Ugh!" She rubbed her nose.

Summery warmth wafted in through the open wooden doors of the castle as the bats flew out. Regulus had apparently chosen to wait for her, as he lingered nearby, absorbed in a book. As though sensing her presence, he looked up and grinned, though the expression vanished when he saw his brother by her side.

"It can't be that bad," Sirius remarked.

"Not as bad as being a Mudblood," Ivy joked.

He halted, grey eyes flashing. "Don't use that word."

"It's not a bad word," she blinked. "I know all the words I'm not supposed to say, Mudblood isn't one of them. My parents say it all-"

Ivy's trunk dropped to the ground with a loud crash that echoed through the shifting staircases overhead. It snapped open on contact and an expensive glass bottle of perfume that Hazel had gifted her shattered on the ground.

"I said," Sirius entered her personal space. "Don't use that word!"

Flinching away as tears burned in her eyes, she wondered if he was going to hit her, as he looked an awful lot like her father before he raised a hand.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Regulus was there in an instant, shoving himself between Ivy and his brother. "Back off!"

"She used the M word! I'm not about to stand here listening to that shite!"

"No one talks to her like that!" He growled back. "Especially not blood traitors like you!"

Sirius swung at him and as they began a physical altercation, she backed away until she hit a wall. Sliding to the stone floor with her knees tucked to her chest, she tried not to listen to the sounds of the fight, as it reminded her disturbingly of Selwyn Estate.

The scent of lavender filled the hall and she tried to take comfort in it as she pressed her hands over her ears. But the idea of her sister only made tears run down her cheeks, as Ivy was certain the fight between Regulus and Sirius mirrored what was going on at the Estate.