Beauty of the Dark by Mads Langer

The ugly things I do

For beauty

If you could see what's real in me

Then maybe beauty wouldn't be so cruel

January 15th, 1977

Ivy laughed mid-inhale and choked on a puff of smoke. Gagging, she passed the cigarette to Theya, who was cross-legged on the desk beside her. Ariadne sat with her legs folded on a chair in front of them, occasionally glancing at the door of the empty classroom despite the spells they'd used to block out intruders.

"You've got to be taking the piss," Theya tried to take a drag but giggled.

"I'm being completely serious," Ariadne smirked, holding up her thumb. "It's this big, and let me tell you, Mulciber does not know how to use it."

Theya gave up on trying to smoke as she doubled over with laughter, handing the cigarette to Ariadne.

"Alright, alright," Ivy grinned. "Who has the biggest you've seen, then?"

"Rosier," Theya and Ariadne said at once.

Ivy let out a high-pitched laugh.

"No way," Ariadne's dark eyes were wide and horrified. "We had sex with the same bloke? But I've only been with Mulciber and Rosier!"

"Relax," Theya smirked. "Now we can talk about technique and girth and-"

"I will not be talking about technique, much less girth," Ariadne looked scandalised. "What happens in the bedroom is supposed to stay in the bedroom."

"You didn't feel that way about Mulciber," Ivy pointed out.

"Because I didn't know they could be that small!" Ariadne protested.

Ivy snickered, plucking the cigarette from between her fingers and taking a drag off it.

"What about you, Iv?" Theya winked at her. "You finally do the nasty?"

"Ugh," Ariadne wrinkled her nose. "Don't call it that."

"Sure did," she passed the cigarette off again.

"Yeah, right," Theya snorted.

Ivy made a face at her and raised her brows at Ariadne.

"Sorry," the dark-haired witch giggled. "I don't believe it either. Honestly, I thought you were waiting until marriage or something."

"Please," Ivy scoffed. "I've been having sex since October."

"October?" Theya glanced at Ariadne.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "And by the way, I also shagged Rosier. Last week."

Theya roared with laughter at the disgusted look on Ariadne's face.

"What a dog!" Ariadne shook her head, eyeing Ivy tentatively. "Who was your first, then?"

"Regulus."

Ariadne choked and began coughing as she passed the cigarette to Theya.

As the fun drained out of the room and vanished from their faces, she wondered whether Regulus had done something to anger them, as their reaction was entirely disappointing.

"I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure how to bring it up," Ivy added. "It was after I got my Dark Mark. He kind of cleaned me up and then spent the night. Thank Merlin, my mother didn't find us. Anyway, we've been sleeping together for m-"

Ariadne stood suddenly, chair scraping gratingly against the stone floor. She grabbed her bookbag, shot Ivy a scorned look, then stormed out of the classroom without a word.

Ivy stared after her as the door slammed shut, confused and a little offended.

"What the hell was that about?" She raised a brow at Theya. "She's not jealous that I got the Dark Mark, is she? Because that was ages ago. I know she wants one herself, but it's not my fault she's been too scared to get involved."

"You're being a shitty friend," Theya said flatly.

"What did I do to you?" Ivy scowled, snatching the cigarette away from her.

"It's not about me," Theya took it back and tossed it over her shoulder. "But you conveniently forgetting that Ariadne is one of your best mates, does irk me. She's upset because she's fancied Regulus for almost as long as you, and you pretend you don't know. It's downright insensitive at this point."

Ivy opened her mouth to argue that no one has fancied Regulus longer than her, before deciding to keep that comment to herself. "You two have been discussing this behind my back?"

"It's not like she can say it to your face," she said disdainfully. "You might love confrontation, but Ariadne doesn't."

"And her inability to communicate is my fault?"

"No," Theya glared at her. "What is your fault, is the fact that you've been leading him on for years. Not only do you make it hard for Ariadne, but you've also got Regulus confused out of his mind."

"He told you that?" Ivy felt queasy.

"You're not his only friend," she snapped. "That boy is completely in love with you - you can't just ignore all your problems and hope they'll go away."

It worked until now, she thought scornfully.

Ivy eyed Theya for a long moment. "This is about Severus, isn't it?"

"Don't you fucking dare," Theya jumped off the desk, hazel eyes flashing.

"I'm right, aren't I?" She laughed humorlessly. "He's been ignoring you since October and you're putting your problem with him and Evans onto my relationship. It's a little much."

"Shut up," Theya hissed, angrier than Ivy had ever seen her. "Maybe if you could stop being so goddamn selfish for two seconds, you'd see what's right in front of you! You've been leading Regulus on for years, pretending you don't know exactly what's going on. Well, guess what? Ariadne's in love with him too, so make up your fucking mind already! Either be with him or cut him loose, because you're hurting her!"

"So, what you're really saying," Ivy folded her arms. "Is that Severus is in love with Evans and you're too afraid to tell him how you feel because he doesn't love you back."

Tears began to well in Theya's eyes and regret began poisoning Ivy's stomach.

"I ought to fucking hit you for that," Theya choked, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "You do not get to talk to me like that. But I guess being your mate –your best mate, nonetheless- means absolutely fuck all, huh?"

Theya turned on the spot, hair slapping Ivy across the face as she left.

February 3rd, 1977

Ivy tried to suppress the anxiety coursing through her as she headed into the Dungeons. Her stomach was a mess of knots as she entered the Slytherin Common Room and she quickly located Regulus, who sat in one of the plush emerald armchairs with a book in his lap. Pausing in the doorway, she loitered nervously, fiddling with the silver and opal ring on her pinky finger that she still had no leads on.

After weeks of being given the cold shoulder by Theya and Ariadne -forcing her to spend most of her time with Severus- she had grudgingly come to the conclusion that Theya was right.

It was time to make things clear with Regulus.

Hearing other Slytherins behind her, Ivy moved out of the doorway. Putting on a calm façade, she threw her shoulders back and headed over to him, eyeing the waters of the Black Lake just beyond the windows.

"Hey," she started. "Come take a walk with me. There's something I need to speak with you about."

"Could it wait?" Regulus glanced up from his book. "I've just reached the good part."

"It can't," she ignored the roiling of her stomach.

"Alright," he sighed.

Regulus closed his small novel and stuffed it into his robes as Ivy guided them out of the Common Room. As they moved away from the Dungeons, she found herself glad that night had fallen, as there weren't many students out and about.

"What was so important that you had to interrupt in the middle of the climax?" Regulus asked teasingly. "Martin Miggs was stuck in a tree."

Ivy glanced at him sidelong. "Charming your comics to look like books fools no one if you talk about what you're reading."

"Well, you already knew it was charmed."

"True."

Regulus eyed her. "Are you going to tell me what this is about?"

Releasing a quiet sigh, Ivy moved into a nearby alcove, letting a strolling couple pass them. She waited until they were alone amongst the stone and torches, dreading each passing second. He stared at her expectantly and she wrung her wrists, trying to think of how to begin.

She didn't want to make tears well up in those beautiful dark eyes of his and didn't want to increase the distance between them that had felt so wonderful to close. Momentarily, she let her mind venture into the option of letting Theya and Ariadne resent her, consequences be damned. But as much as she cared for Regulus, no one would be able to fill the void that would be left in their wake.

"I can't be your girlfriend," she blurted.

"You're not my girlfriend," Regulus raised a brow.

"I know, I mean… Theya told me you were confused about where we stand. And I wanted to be upfront with you that we can't be together. Romantically. She was right, I've been leading you on, and it's not fair to you."

"Oh," he blinked in surprise. "But I thought…"

"I'm sorry," she pursed her lips. "I can't be with you like that."

The look on Regulus's face was unreadable, though she certainly was trying. He gave nothing away, not even by a twitch in his jaw or tension in his shoulders, and he'd stuck his hands in the pockets of his robes, making it impossible to know what to expect.

"What about our marriage contract?" He finally asked.

"That's not breakable," Ivy said carefully, leaning against the cold wall. "As far as I know."

"You said you can't be with me," Regulus said slowly. "Not that you don't want to. Why can't you?"

"Because I'm not ready to be in a relationship," she tried to sound like she meant her words. "And I need to make it clear that you don't have to wait for me. I don't expect you to."

"That's rubbish," he rolled his eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"I said," Regulus stepped closer to her. "That's rubbish. Tell me the truth."

"Are you trying to intimidate me?" Ivy narrowed her eyes.

"No," he moved closer, now entering her personal space. "I'm trying to get you to tell the truth."

"How do you fancy that?" She didn't make a move to leave, as she couldn't muster up the willpower.

"You have a hard time lying," Regulus smirked. "The closer I get to you."

Her breath hitched as she found herself stuck between him and the wall. She could smell pine trees and their chests were a mere centimetre apart. Images came unbidden into her mind, ideas of him pinning her arms to the wall or pressing her completely against it, his hands and tongue doing positively indecent things to her.

"That's true in more ways than one," Ivy stared down the corridor, trying not to let his gaze strip her. "It's also the truth you're looking for. Besides, Ariadne is in love with you and I've been daft trying to ignore it. For the record, so have you."

"I don't care about Ariadne," his hand came to her chin, gently forcing her to look at him. "That's why I ignore it. But I know you've only given me half the truth. You're scared of this. Of me. Why?"

"Because," Ivy rubbed her lips together, a thrill of excitement running through her when his gaze dropped to her mouth. "You make me want to break every last one of my rules."

"What kind of rules?" His dark eyes were fixed on her lips and he leaned in almost imperceptibly.

"You know what kind," she murmured hazily.

"No, I don't, tell me," Regulus demanded, hands finding their way to her hips.

Ivy struggled to remember her rules, as she was having a hard time thinking about anything other than his thumbs gently brushing her sides and how tantalisingly close his face was to hers. Her body instinctually closed the remaining space between their chests, causing her memory to jog, though she didn't pull away.

"You make me want to break my No Regulus Rule," she breathed, hands sliding slowly up his arms to rest against his chest. Whether she did this to pull him in or push him away, she didn't know.

"Why do you have that rule?" Regulus's tone bordered on a whine. "If you ask me, it's a stupid fucking rule, one that really needs to be broken."

"I've already broken it many times the past few months." Trying to restrain herself, she dug her nails into his chest a little, though that only caused a muscle to feather in his jaw and his grip on her hips to tighten.

"Why not break it again?" He licked his lips.

"Breaking it again would be catastrophic," her eyes were fixed on his mouth and she inherently knew he'd drawn her attention there on purpose. Traitorously, she wasn't complaining. "I'm talking cities burned to ash and thousands of deaths, catastrophic."

"Maybe I want catastrophic," he said hoarsely, reaching a hand up to finger the black ribbons in her hair. "Maybe I want you."

"Maybe I want you too," Ivy forced back the surge of emotions that rose up, as much as it strangled her to do so. "But you're my biggest temptation. Which is why I can't have you. And Ariadne…"

Regulus held her gaze as he removed the Thestral hairpin from her bun. She remained still as he did so, fearing that his close contact would shatter her resolve. A smirk slowly crossed his mouth as he dropped the hairpiece into her pocket.

"…Ariadne," Ivy repeated stupidly. "And… my rules."

He raised a brow at her, hand moving to grab the end of one of her black ribbons.

"Don't you fucking dare," she said as her mind was assaulted with the memory of the last time they'd been in this position.

Regulus grinned, pulling the ribbon and causing her white hair to fall loose.

He maintained eye contact, stuffing the ribbon into her pocket with the hairpin.

"I hate you," Ivy told him, before crushing her mouth against his.

His fingers dug into her hips, pressing her hard against his firm body and squeezing the breath deliciously from her lungs. Her hands rushed to his hair, relishing the silky, shaggy locks as his tongue entered her mouth to wage war on her own. When she pulled hard on his hair, he groaned against her mouth, one of his large hands sliding down to smack her arse.

Ivy gasped headily and bit his lower lip in response.

Regulus chuckled against her mouth and pulled away, lips moving down to her neck where he sucked and left wet kisses. She could feel his hardness growing against her thigh and oh did she want to take advantage of that. In fact, she could think of about thirty-seven different ways to take advantage of that.

Breathing heavily, she gripped his biceps, digging her nails in to see if she could elicit another one of his husky groans. However, his response was lost on her when she opened her eyes a fraction and locked gazes with a child over Regulus's shoulder. He looked about twelve, with bouncy blonde hair and wide, horrified blue eyes.

The Ravenclaw she recognized as Gilderoy Lockhart had frozen mid-step to gawk at them.

Feeling Regulus's hand on her arse, she hissed, "Regulus! Stop – look!"

He looked over his shoulder and scowled. "Bugger off or I'll send a Scalping Hex your way!"

The child squeaked and took off running down the corridor.

Ivy swatted his shoulder, still tight in his embrace. "Kid's a second year, Regulus!"

"And?" He ran a hand through his hair irritably. "He just interrupted - he interrupted us. Unacceptable. Especially with what we were just doing." He sighed, hands coming to her hips again, a pouty look on his face. "We should probably get back before curfew."

"Or we could…" Ivy made the split-second, stupid decision to desperately cling to their bubble of intimacy. "Find somewhere to…"

Regulus's face brightened considerably. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I mean, I meant what I said earlier. We can't be together. But maybe just for tonight we could… Be together."

"Alright."

"You're fine with that?"

"You think I'd say no?" Regulus laughed. "Where do you want to, ah, be together, then?"

"Anywhere, as long as it's not the Dormitory."

"That can be arranged."

They straightened their clothing a little too nonchalantly before Regulus snagged her hand and pulled her into a jog down the corridor. His face was equally as red as hers as they hurried up a few levels, Ivy letting out the occasional elated laugh.

Soon enough, Ivy was in an empty classroom with Regulus, who had just finished putting a Locking Charm on the door.

"Muffliato," he pointed his blackthorn wand at the door.

"You plan on being loud?" Energised, she hopped onto the edge of a desk, crossing her legs.

"No," Regulus smirked at her, putting his wand away. "I plan on you being loud."

"Is that so," she leaned back on her hands.

"Mhm," he approached her, taking off his tie as he did so.

"Way to deprive me of my fun," Ivy pouted. "I was planning on taking that off myself."

"Apologies," he grinned, coming to stand in front of her as he redid his green and silver tie. "I wasn't planning on depriving you of a single thing you wanted."

Giving him a nod of approval when he finished with his tie, he looked her over slowly, before placing a hand on each of her knees. Slowly uncrossing her legs, he moved to stand between them.

Straightening at his presence, a presence she'd wanted between her legs since their last encounter, Ivy grabbed his wrists, guiding his hands up her thighs before letting go. She grinned as his fingers slid beneath her skirt and back down again repeatedly, like he was trying to memorise the feel of her skin.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him.

Unlike their last, this kiss was soft and unhurried. She was glad for it, wanting to take her time with him, as she didn't know whether she'd get the chance to be this way with him again. Allowing herself this pleasure even for a night was reckless, but oh were his lips soft and agonisingly sweet against hers.

Tongue stroking his leisurely, she took his face in her hands, enjoying the feel of stubble and his palms sliding up and down her thighs tantalisingly. Feeling moisture gather between her legs, she began working her nimble fingers on his tie.

Ivy pulled back a little to slide the tie from around his neck, grinning and biting her lower lip as she did so, before pushing the black robes off his shoulders to work on the buttons of his shirt. She kissed him again before moving her lips down his throat. His hands slid beneath her skirt to her arse as she finished unbuttoning his shirt. Pulling her lips from his neck, she made a move to work on her own.

Regulus slapped her hand away and consequently smacked her arse. In one quick movement, he had her sitting on the very edge of the table, pressed flush against him. Feeling his hardness against her core, Ivy let out a shaky breath and wrapped her legs around his waist, grinding just a little against him.

When he released a groan, she smirked proudly.

Narrowing his eyes at her, he didn't bother with the last two buttons of her shirt. Instead, Regulus yanked the fabric hard, causing the buttons to pop off and something to stir between her legs. He shoved the shirt over her shoulders, leaving them both topless.

"No bra?" He stared at her breasts ravenously.

"I can go get one if you'd like."

"Absolutely not," Regulus let out a growl.

He reclaimed her mouth, plunging a hand into her loose white hair as she clutched at his back needily, wanting him closer than it was possible to be. His other hand slid from her hip to capture a small breast.

Despite not wanting to hurry earlier, a thrill of excitement and lust raged through her, so her fingers went straight for his belt buckle. Undoing it speedily as his mouth left hers to lavish attention on one of her nipples, she slid her fingers beneath his pants to grasp him.

When she made contact, he released another of his groans, the kind she had dreams about, both when awake and asleep. Her deft fingers began to stroke him and he released her breast from his mouth, tilting his head back with an exquisite look on his face as his hands found her hair and fisted it.

Ivy made a move to pull him loose from his pants when she heard the door handle rattle.

"Bollocks!" Regulus all but shouted, shifting away to toss her her blouse.

The door continued to shake as they hurriedly put themselves together, frantically tossing each other discarded clothing and doing their best to fix their appearances.

There was barely enough time to button up her top before the door swung open, revealing a giggling Theya and Ariadne. Severus stood just behind them, looking both bored and intrigued, though all three sets of eyes widened upon seeing who had just been trying to shag in the empty classroom.

"Fuck," Ivy whispered from where she stood beside the desk, knowing her buttons were done up completely wrong and her skirt was hitched further up her legs than it should have been.

"Hey," Regulus said, his voice too casual. "We were just, um…"

Ivy's eyes fixed on Ariadne as her mate backed away, eyes full of tears and hurt. The dark-haired witch was there for no more than a moment before she ran, her steps echoing down the corridor.

"Wait!" Ivy started with a step forward.

Theya locked gazes with Ivy, shaking her head in grave disappointment before vanishing after Ariadne. Severus, the last remaining of the bunch, gave them an awkward nod and departed.

Horrified into silence, Ivy remained where she was, head spinning with the look in Ariadne's eyes. For all Ivy had done and said to the girl, she'd never once received a look like that.

Disgust with her own actions roiled in her as Regulus silently shut the door.

"Ivy…" he walked back to her, looking concerned.

"No," she choked back her own tears. "We can't do this again."

"Who cares what they think?" He frowned, reaching for her.

"I do!" She pulled out his grasp, feeling deeply disturbed. "Aside from you, they're everything I have! We cannot do this again, Regulus. I won't do that to her. Not after all I've already done to her."

Ivy knew that there was no better way to show Ariadne she loved her than to give up the only person she had ever truly wanted. Her heart was breaking in her chest and the thought struck all of the wind from her lungs, but she couldn't keep on with what she'd been doing. It wasn't fair to any of them.

"What have you done to her?"

"Ignored her, disvalued her, neglected her. I was her Boggart for fucks sake! I can't be this person anymore!" Ivy clenched her fists, guilt increasing with each passing second. "Not when I already have to- I can't add this on top of-"

"It's alright," he said soothingly.

"I said no!" She shouted, not intending for her words to come out with such volume. "I can't keep doing this to her. I can't keep doing this to you. We've gotten too close and it's too much for me."

"So, what?" Tension tightened his shoulders and his face hardened. "That's it? After everything you and I have been through, after all the progress we've made this past year? I thought we'd gotten to a place where we could just let us happen and not worry about anyone else!"

"We did! That's the bloody problem!"

Regulus was in her face in a flash and she could see hurt written all over him, evident in how he'd started shaking, how his eyes were boring into her.

"Why won't you just let me in?" He asked angrily. "What is so wrong with that - with me? That you have to close me out and push me away and never tell me the damn truth?"

"You want the truth?" She narrowed her eyes at him, knowing what she had to do. "Fine. We don't have the same beliefs, alright?"

"Am I not…" Regulus stepped back, looking wounded. "Pureblood enough for you?"

The dark and complicated truth was that their values were different, just not in the way she was going to make him believe. He was starting to see things the way she did, but it simply wasn't enough. And she couldn't just string him along for however long it took him to see the truth, especially since it was possible that he may never get there. He was regretful of getting the Dark Mark, but that didn't mean he felt differently about Muggleborns or Squibs. And until he said something to the contrary, she couldn't reveal herself.

"That's it, isn't it?" He shook his head with, if possible, greater disappointment than Theya had. "The first night we were together, I asked you where you stood with the Dark Lord and you didn't say anything. After you felt so guilty about what you did, I thought we were on the same page. But then you came back to Hogwarts spouting all of the usual shite… I thought you'd changed - that you saw what I saw, but you don't, do you?"

"Regulus," Ivy choked out. "I'm so sorry."

"Save your apologies. They're meaningless." Regulus held her stare, betrayal thick in his gaze. "I need to hear you say it."

"You're right," her voice was barely above a whisper. "You're not pureblood enough for me."

"And you- you're..." He looked her up and down in disgust. "Not who I thought you were."

"I know," her heart shattered as she forced herself to continue spinning lies. "I want to be, but I got over my regrets about what I did to that Muggle and I'm devoted to the Dark Lord. You should be too."

"It seems I was wrong, then. You are like Bellatrix."