Chapter 16

Ezra POV

A few days after Ezra and Sabine arrived on Kalevala, Ezra stood watching as Sabine kneeled on the ground and showed another Mandalorian their own age and Ezra's best friend on his home planet, Trev Pattol, how to navigate his way through the circuitry of Imperial explosives.

Ezra had made sure several days ago that Sabine could go get assistance from anyone present she faced a problem, but he'd noticed over the past few days that she always seemed to come to get help from him anyway, so he had begun to simply follow her around, watching over what she did and helping if necessary.

Meanwhile, his mother was keeping an eye on him, though she didn't know that Ezra knew. He wasn't sure what she was waiting for. He assumed that she was expecting some kind of attack from Sabine, but he didn't understand why. So far, Sabine had given them no reason not to trust her. It was probably just the Dar'manda thing, old habits dying hard.

Finally, Sabine pointed out one last wire that looked like all the others and explained, "And this one controls the timer. If it's on a countdown, disabling the timer could shut it down, but sometimes the wire will have a ring around the edge, meaning that it's been rigged to blow if it's tampered with. Any questions?"

Trev chuckled and said, "Yeah, I have one." He then turned around to face Ezra and asked, "Where did you find this one? She seems to know everything."

Ezra crossed his arms over his chest and answered, "You'll have to be more specific. I thought I had her dozens of times over the years. Wasn't until just a few months ago that I even saw her for the first time. As for where I finally got her, I don't think she wants me divulging that location."

Sabine smiled up at him and said, "Not at the moment, no. But if all goes well, maybe someday."

Just then, a group of Mandalorians led by Axe Woves walked over, all of them holding their helmets under their arms. Axe stood over Sabine and said, "You seem to know your way around Imperial weaponry, Wren. How about Imperial prisons?"

Sabine glanced over at Ezra, who winced under his helmet as he realized what this was about. "I've broken in and out of a few…" Sabine answered hesitantly.

Axe gestured to Ezra and said, "Ezra here told us all that he helped you escape one. Is that true?"

"I did not help her escape, Axe," Ezra quickly amended hurriedly. "Like I told you, she'd already escaped her restraints, captors, and cell, and I just-"

"Yes, he helped me," Sabine cut him off. "He told me where I could go to get out without having to encounter the guards."

Ezra looked down at her, and she nodded in silent response to him. To need help with something could be humiliating to prideful beings, and Mandalorians were notoriously proud of their capabilities. By denying that he had assisted her in her escape from Skystrike, Ezra had been attempting to protect her reputation, but for some reason she had instead turned it around on him.

Axe looked the two of them over, then shrugged. "Alright then," he said. "Well, Ezra also tells us that you've got a nasty punch. You up for a little sparring, Wren?"

Sabine glanced over at Ezra, raising an eyebrow, and he shrugged in response. Most of the Mandalorians here were at least a few years older than Ezra and her were, but Ezra was easily the best fighter among Clan Kryze, as not even Axe had been able to challenge after Ezra had defeated him several times in spars since arriving here. The only one who might really challenge him was his mother, and Ezra could beat even her if he really tried, the advantages of training to replace the Force instinct inside him with pure combat skill.

Yet on top of all that, he had to admit that Sabine was probably the closest anyone could get to being on his level. It was a tradition for Mandalorians to fight one another whenever they met, but Ezra wasn't too worried about Sabine fighting anyone in his clan.

At Ezra's nod, Sabine got to her feet and smiled at Axe. "You're on," she told him.

Axe's soldiers went around the clearing and rounded everyone up to watch the fight. All the Mandalorians made a large circle around Sabine. The general rule of thumb for a spar was that spectators should stand twice the range of a flamethrower away from the fight, so the circle was quite large, but still it was enclosed enough that no one would be able to get out. In a spar, blasters had to be at least partially nullified, but all other weapons were fair game, except for ones that could instantly kill, like rockets or whistling birds, a Mandalorian weapon that fired a volley of mini-missiles at multiple targets.

However, as Sabine stepped into the middle of the circle to prepare to face the first challenger, Ezra noticed that she had a glaring vulnerability when compared to anyone here. She had finished painting her jetpack just shortly, which was now attached to her back and sported a kind of light purple with a darker purple making a wing design on the back, but she was the only one present that did not have her own vambraces.

Ezra cursed himself silently for forgetting his promise to get Sabine her own vambraces. He'd meant to commission their armorers to forge a pair, but he had forgotten in his rush to prepare his people for war with the Empire. Suddenly having an idea, he yelled out, "Everyone, hold on just a moment!"

Everyone looked at him in confusion, and he ran onto his ship. He looked around in the hold, running his hand along a wall, and muttered to himself, "Come on, come on, where are you?"

Finally, he felt a hollow point in the wall and pushed it in, popping out a small compartment, which he quickly pulled open to reveal a pair of beskar vambraces. They had no paint on them whatsoever, as Ezra had barely even remembered them.

When he'd left here seven years ago, his mother had given him a single spare pair of vambraces, not knowing how long he'd be gone or if he might lose one or both of his current vambraces while he was away. Luckily for him, he'd taken very good care of his own pair and had kept the spares stored away inside his ship for the entire time he was gone, only just now remembering that he had them. And yes, they were a wonderful gift from his mother, only to be used in emergencies, but Ezra decided that this counted as an emergency.

He grabbed the vambraces, closed the secret compartment, and ran back to the circle. He jogged up into the middle to stand by Sabine, ignoring the dozens of odd looks he received, and held out the vambraces towards her as he stopped in front of her. "Here," he told her. "You might need these to even the playing field."

Sabine's eyes widened as she gently reached out a finger to run it along the shiny metal of the vambraces. "Are these…" she said unsteadily. "Ezra, do you know how much-"

"I know, and I'm sure you'll put them to good use," Ezra responded with a smile.

Sabine looked up at him for a moment, looking for any signs of uncertainty or discomfort, but saw none, nor would she have even if she could see his face beneath his helmet. Looking back into her eyes, Ezra could easily tell that she had not allowed herself to believe that he would actually get her a pair of vambraces. It was quite a big deal, after all, but Ezra simply wanted to give them to her as a necessity. He was a firm believer that every capable Mandalorian should have every available tool with which to defend themselves. After all, their famous and distinctive armor made them both hunter and prey.

Ezra turned the vambraces around in his hand and attached them onto Sabine's wrists, one by one. "I did promise you," he told her. "They currently have all the same features as my own vambraces, but you can switch them out later if you want."

Her gaze filled with gratitude, Sabine grabbed his wrist before he could walk away, and said, "Thank you, Ezra."

He smirked back at her and jokingly said, "You can thank me by kicking these guys' butts. After all, they know that you've knocked me down before, and I have a reputation to uphold."

Sabine nodded in agreement, and Ezra stepped back away from her to rejoin the circle.

The first challenger to step forward was Trev, as he was the closest to Sabine's own age other than Ezra himself. As much as Ezra liked Trev, he couldn't help but internally root for Sabine, yet he still cheered and knocked his vambraces together, his arms crossed in an "X" over his chest as Trev stepped forward, supported by the crowd.

Trev walked towards Sabine and said, "What's about to happen, it's nothing personal, Wren."

Sabine smirked at him as she donned her helmet and drew her pistols from her hips. "Right back at you," she said.

The circle got quiet as Trev drew his own pistols and both he and Sabine backed away from one another. After a few seconds in which both sides took their positions, Axe raised his arms above his head and hit his vambraces together hard, creating an echoing ding sound, and the battle commenced.

Trev ran forward first, firing his pistols at Sabine, but she activated her new personal energy shield and blocked each of them. Trev continued to close in on her, still firing and trying to catch her off guard, and when he was only a couple meters away, Sabine suddenly fired a shot of her own. Trev quickly brought up his own shield on his vambrace, and that was when Sabine did her real attack.

She ran towards Trev, quickly closing the little remaining distance between them, and jumped towards him. His shield already in front of him after blocking the blaster bolt, Trev raised it even higher to block Sabine's flying kick, but in midair she activated her jetpack to stop herself, then shot a whipcord to wrap around Trev's now-exposed legs and pulled.

Trev was pulled off his feet, and Sabine pulled him into the air before dropping him by releasing the line. As he fell, Trev spun himself around so that he was facing upright, then activated his own jetpack to stop his fall.

Seeing Sabine's shadow flying back down towards him, he looked up to see Sabine directing her right vambrace at him, which then emitted a blast from the repulsor, pushing Trev into the ground despite the opposing force of his jetpack.

Trev layed on his back, partially planted in the dirt with his legs still tied up, and groaned to himself in pain, unable to move. After a few moments, two other Mandalorians ran out of the circle to help pull him to his feet and put his arms around their shoulders as they began to untie his legs.

Sabine flew down from the sky to help them and asked, "You alright, Trev?"

When they finally succeeded in untying his legs, Trev managed to shakily stand by himself but pointed at Sabine and said, "Never… never again."

Sabine just chuckled as Trev walked by her and went to stand next to Ezra. The crowd suddenly seemed less eager to face Sabine after seeing how she fought, how quickly she'd managed to defeat Trev, but it only took a few seconds for another challenger to step forward, accompanied by applause from the assembly.

The next little while went just as Ezra had expected. Challenger after challenger went forward, each of them confident in their own ability to win where everyone had failed, but Sabine managed to defeat every one of them. Some were more difficult than others, many of them managed to land a few good hits, but nevertheless, Sabine prevailed every time.

Being lifelong fighters, the Mandalorians all took their losses honorably, yet with every victory that Sabine added to her streak, the group became more and more determined to see her lose. And oddly enough, as time went on, the now-familiar bubbling in Ezra's gut continued to increase as he watched Sabine fight.

As Sabine landed a kick to the chest of her newest challenger, Ezra leaned over to Trev and muttered, "Hey, Trev. As you watch Sabine, do you feel sort of… sick, but not? Anything like that? Like a weird sort of tingling?"

Trev snorted with amusement and said, "Not me, Ezra. I got married when I was sixteen, and I'm very happy. Haven't felt that way when looking at anyone else since."

Not sure what Trev's marriage had to do with anything, Ezra whispered, "But you do know the feeling?"

Trev nodded. "Yeah, but like I said, it's been awhile. But I do get it," he said, watching Sabine fight with an admiring eye.

"Get what?" Ezra asked desperately. "How do I make it stop?"

Trev looked at him with confusion. "You're kidding, right? You don't want it to stop, Kryze."

"Yes, I do!" Ezra hissed back. Trev's speaking in riddles was driving him crazy! He didn't know what was going on with him, but he knew that he wanted it dealt with before the war started.

Just then, his loudly whispering voice drew the attention to him, and someone began to chant, "Kryze! Kryze! Kryze!" It started out quiet, but slowly the rest of the Mandalorians began to join in, until the sound was so loud that it rang in his ears.

Ezra looked around and realized what they wanted. Months ago, he had proven himself to be their finest warrior, and now they wanted him to break Sabine's winning streak by fighting her himself. Ezra looked nervously at Sabine, but she just shrugged at him, unable to communicate with her facial features as they were hidden beneath her helmet. Accepting the will of the crowd, Ezra stepped into the ring, his own challenge being greeted with the loudest cheers yet. His clan really wanted a victory at this point, but Ezra just wanted to continue his conversation with Trev. Yet he couldn't turn down an honest challenge.

Spreading out so that they stood at opposite ends of the circle, Ezra called out, "Just don't take it too personally when I drop you, alright Wren?"

Sabine called back, "We'll see who's on the ground at the end of this, Kryze."

Ezra smirked beneath his helmet and held a hand over one of his pistols, flexing it as he prepared to draw. This was going to be fun. Fighting with Sabine had become one of his favorite things to do, and clearly she felt the same way, as she played along and held a hand down by her own pistol at her hip. Axe crashed his vambraces together to signal the start of the match, but both Ezra and Sabine remained still for a moment longer. The crowd was completely silent as they watched to see who would draw first, neither of them making a move.

Finally, Sabine drew first, as Ezra knew she would. She was too familiar with the speed of his movement not to be wary of him getting the drop on her, but her preparedness didn't save her. In a split second, Ezra drew and fired all in one movement. His blaster bolt crashed against Sabine's helmet and threw off her aim as she fired her own shot, making it go wide and almost hit one of the spectators, but Ezra reached out his left arm and blocked it with his shield.

A loud cheer arose from the crowd, but Ezra didn't relax. He was off to a good start, but the fight was far from over.

Sabine got back to her feet and drew her other pistol. Ezra drew his second pistol as well, then launched into the air on his jetpack, flying towards her at a high speed, then dropped down once he was right above her. Sabine quickly activated her shield and held it above her head, causing Ezra to land on top of it, and then he jumped back and shot his flamethrower at her. She blocked the fiery blast with her shield and rushed in close to him, catching him off guard as he had used the flamethrower to keep her back.

She smacked his arm out of the way and shoved her own vambrace in his face before unleashing a repulsor blast. Ezra was launched backwards across the field, and the crowd all collectively said, "Oooh!"

Ezra crashed onto the ground but quickly tried to get back on his feet, but Sabine quickly closed the distance between them and crashed into him with a roar, knocking him onto his back again. She pulled a knife from one of her boots and tried to press it against Ezra's neck, holding his hands pressed across his chest, but Ezra extended the blade from his right vambrace and blocked it before she could gain any leverage.

He then activated his jetpack, launching himself out from under her, and shot a whipcord at her legs, but she dodged over it and used her own jetpack to rocket into him, knocking both of them to the ground, rolling over one another.

Ezra finally broke free of her grip and rolled into a kneeling position, aiming one of his guns at her, but she ran forward and jumped onto him, wrapping her legs around his head before she fell back and flipped him over with her body weight, once again landing him on his back.

For a moment, she almost seemed to be winning, but then she made a mistake. As Ezra tried to climb back to his feet, he heard an unfamiliar humming and looked up in shock to see Sabine approaching him with the Darksaber activated in her hand.

Hearing muttering emanating from the crowd at the sight, Ezra scrambled to his feet as Sabine swung at him, and he was still off-balance as he brought up one of his vambraces to deflect the first hard swing, which pushed him back. There was another hard swing, followed by another and another, each of which Ezra barely managed to deflect.

The next hit knocked his helmet off his head, and suddenly something inside him snapped. The sight of the Darksaber attacking him awakened an instinct that he hadn't even known was there, and suddenly he roared in anger before he rushed in towards his attacker. No longer even able to think, Ezra tackled his enemy around the waist and used his body weight to pull them towards the ground. He saw the Darksaber held in a hand next to him and reached over to grab the wrist and squeeze it with all his strength.

With a loud snapping sound, his enemy let out a yell of pain and dropped the Darksaber, which Ezra then grabbed from them and threw behind himself. He then reached down with both hands and began to squeeze the neck of his attacker. He'd never felt anger like this before, nor had he ever felt such power. Whoever dared to wield that cursed blade deserved much worse than death, they deserved to suffer.

He squeezed harder and harder on his enemy's throat, ignoring the strained gasps that tried in vain to pull in air, until suddenly a familiar voice called out, "EZRA!"

Ezra immediately released his enemy's throat at the sound of his mother's horrified voice, screaming louder than he had ever heard before. He looked around himself to see that the circle of Mandalorians had closed in around him, all of them aiming their weapons at his head and wearing matching expressions of fear.

Suddenly looking down at his enemy underneath him, Ezra's face lost all color as he realized that it had been Sabine, who now layed still upon the ground. He immediately got off of her and pulled off her helmet, seeing her eyes closed almost peacefully, but Ezra couldn't think of anything being peaceful at a time like this. He couldn't even remember what he should do to make sure that she was still alive, feeling helpless as he looked at her limp form.

His mother pushed her way through the crowd and pressed her head against Sabine's chest, listening for a heartbeat. Finally, she lifted her head back up and announced, "She's still alive, but just barely. Get her to the medical wing!"

Immediately, four Mandalorians rushed forward with a stretcher and lifted Sabine onto it before they each grabbed a corner and used their jetpacks to launch into the air, carrying her to the castle.

Bo watched them go, then turned back around and said, "Ezra, we-"

But she broke off as she realized that he had already disappeared.

Sabine POV

Sabine woke up gasping from a nightmare. In her dream, she had been sparring with Ezra when suddenly… something had happened, something she couldn't understand or even explain. She'd just barely drawn the Darksaber to use it for the first time, knowing that Ezra was too good for her to defeat without a trick up her sleeve. She'd been swinging it harder than she'd meant to, surprised by the incredible lack of weight or resistance that she felt, when suddenly Ezra… his eyes had turned yellow, and then it wasn't a spar, but a fight, and Ezra had showed no mercy.

In no time at all, he had forced her to the ground, disarmed her and sprained her right wrist, and had begun to choke the life out of her with his bare hands, which she hadn't been able to even budge despite her best efforts. Even still, she could feel some soreness on her throat. It had felt so real…

Suddenly paling, Sabine realized where she was. She was in a medical wing, wearing only her flight suit, lying on a bed for one of the patients. Her armor and weapons were on the table next to her, though she noticed that the Darksaber was missing. Her right wrist was tightly wrapped in a bandage and hanging in a cast over her chest. Looking in the mirror next to her, she could see bright red, hand-shaped bruises across her neck, right where Ezra had grabbed her in her dream.

Now thoroughly terrified at the implications of these things, Sabine looked around to see a medical droid floating its way over to her. "Greetings," it said.

"Where's Ezra?" Sabine asked, not wasting a moment on pleasantries.

However, the droid ignored her question and said, "You have been unconscious for 4.28 hours. You had sustained mostly minor injuries, but you may feel disoriented. This is completely normal. Can I get you any-"

"Where. Is. Ezra?" Sabine asked again, a dangerous tone creeping into her voice. If her suspicions were correct, if her dream had somehow been real… she needed to see Ezra.

The droid lowered its head and said, "I'm afraid that I cannot answer that question. My programming forbids- Wait, where are you going?"

As soon as she realized that the droid couldn't help her, Sabine got up from her bed and walked towards the door. Just outside the medical wing door was a Mandalorian soldier from Clan Kryze, and he held up a hand as he saw her attempting to leave. "Miss Wren, you are to stay here until you have completed your recovery."

Sabine glared at him and said, "Move, or I will move you."

She imagined the soldier smirking under his helmet as he responded, "I don't think so. When you're at full strength, you may be fierce, but with an injured hand, I don't think-"

He was cut off as Sabine suddenly grabbed his wrist with her uninjured hand and spun him around to pin his face against the wall with a grunt of surprise. He tried to break free of her hold, but Sabine twisted his wrist painfully, threatening to break it, and growled, "Do you want to find out how well you can fight with an injured hand? If not, tell me where I can find Ezra."

The soldier grunted once more, then said, "He… he's in his room. But he won't let anyone in. You're wasting-" He was cut off again as Sabine shoved him back into the wall before stalking off towards Ezra's room.

As she finally reached Ezra's door, Trev suddenly came around the corner and stood in front of it protectively, putting out a hand in front of himself to keep Sabine back. "Sabine, listen!" he said to her desperately, but she didn't stop.

Backing up towards the door in fear, Trev said, "He didn't mean it! I don't know what happened, but it was an accident! He never would've tried to hurt you!"

Sabine finally stopped in front of him as she realized something. He thought that she was here to hurt Ezra for hurting her. Trev was trying to protect him from her.

Sighing, Sabine said, "I know he wouldn't hurt me. I'm worried about what he's doing to himself. Please, Trev. I need to see him."

Trev looked back at her suspiciously for a moment, then slowly moved aside. Sabine looked at him gratefully and walked up to the door, pressing the button to slide it open, then walked inside.

The room was completely dark, not a single source of light anywhere. Sabine couldn't see Ezra anywhere, but the light from the open doorway allowed him to see her, and she heard his voice say, "Sabine. You shouldn't be here."

Sabine's skin crawled with discomfort at the sound of his voice. It sounded unnaturally scratchy and weak. Sabine stepped further into the room, moving towards the source of his voice, and the door closed behind her, cutting off the small amount of light that she had had a moment ago.

Ezra's voice quickly called out in the darkness, "Don't… don't come any closer. I don't… Please, just go."

Ignoring his request, Sabine stepped closer to him and activated the lamp next to his bed, casting a dim light into the room and letting her see him. He looked horrible. He wore only his flight suit, like her, and his armor pieces were discarded across the floor behind her rather than hung up on their stand. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were stained with tear streaks.

He didn't look at her at first, but slowly is head turned towards her and he slowly reached out a shaking hand towards her throat. Sabine drew back in shock, then realized her mistake as he looked at his outstretched hand and quickly put it back in his lap, saying, "I'm sorry. I didn't… I was trying to look at… Your neck is bruised. I… I'm so sorry, Sabine. I shouldn't have…"

Sabine reached out with her uninjured hand and surprised him by tenderly cupping his cheek and pulling it around to make him face her again. "It's okay," she whispered to him. "I'll heal. I know you didn't mean it."

Ezra scowled and said, "But I did it. And I… I can't forgive myself for that. Ever."

Sabine sat down on the bed next to him and said, "I've already forgiven you. Maybe you can start there."

Ezra shook his head. "You don't understand, Sabine. I… I completely lost control. I've always been strong, but that used to be a good thing. Now, I can't trust myself anymore. And I've never tried to… hurt someone before. In the past, whenever I was fighting, whether it was a creature or a person, my objective was always to either incapacitate or kill. I've never tried to cause pain to my enemy, and of course, the first time I do, I'm hurting-" He broke off, unable to finish his sentence as another wave of tears rolled down his face.

Knowing that he needed comfort, Sabine reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly, and said, "Tell me what happened."

Ezra hesitated for a moment, then said, "It was the Darksaber."

Sabine was confused, but she remained silent and waited for him to go on, knowing that he would explain further if she gave him time. Sure enough, Ezra continued, "When Maul killed my birth mother… I didn't tell you before, but he wielded the Darksaber at the time, meaning he used the Darksaber to… do it."

Sabine's eyes widened, but Ezra wasn't done. "My father was there, but he didn't stop Maul. Worse, he did nothing. He never even went after Maul for what he did. So I vowed that I would avenge her one day. I studied Maul, learned to hate him. And I… learned to hate that blade as well. When I saw you using it, I didn't… see you. I saw… him. And I almost killed you because I couldn't control myself. There's no excuse. No forgiveness. And I can't let myself be a warrior anymore, not after this."

Ezra kept his eyes firmly shut as he explained all this, a continuous stream of tears slowly leaking out of his eyes despite his best efforts to keep them inside, and Sabine took a moment to process all that he had told her. Finally, she pulled her hand from his to instead pull him in to lay his head against her chest, letting him continue shedding his tears as she ran a soothing hand through his hair. Luckily, he seemed to calm down, slowly but surely, as she continued to do whatever she could to help him relax.

Shortly after, Ezra's breathing slowed as he fell asleep with his head in her lap, and Sabine slowly extricated herself from underneath him to instead lay his head on his pillow and gently pull his blanket over him. Before she left, Sabine whispered to him, "You're not done being a warrior, Ez. But you are done carrying this burden alone."