02: Sensei Can't Teach Me About Love

Chapter Summary: A lazy student and a straight-laced teacher. At first glance, they seem like they are on bad terms. But things get different after classes…

"Regarding last week's homework, you're the only one who hasn't submitted it, Hikigaya-kun."

I manage to nod a couple of times, but if truth be told I'm actually dozing a bit. When's the last time I had a proper eight hours of sleep? I can't really remember. But it's not like I can tell Yoshitaka-sensei about it. I don't want her to worry about me. It's much better to face her wrath in silence.

"Actually sensei, I submitted my homework on time. But you told me to re-write my essay."

She glowers. "And whose fault is that!?"

I feel a bit cheeky. "Um, yours?"

It was definitely the wrong move. Her temper flares, but she does this thing where she feels a little bit guilty. But I can tell that she is reminding herself that she is a teacher and I am her student and as such she has the higher ground. In a sense it is her job to scold me and it is my job to listen to her. The only problem is I am feeling too sleepy and I can't really pay attention to what she is actually saying.

Before I know it, I feel her hands on my shirt collar. Wait just a second, isn't this a bit too much? Is she gonna judo throw me, just because I didn't do my homework? Now that I think about it, does sensei even know judo? I don't think so. She is too straight-laced to learn any kind of self defense. Wait a second, now I am worried about sensei's wellbeing. But wait, shouldn't it be the other way around?

By the time I get a proper look at her she is done fusing with my collar and wouldn't you know it, she was just buttoning up my shirt. You could have just told me to do it myself, sensei. No need to get your pretty little hands dirty. From the looks of it, she is realizing that just now.

"Button up your shirt properly. And don't slouch!"

It is futile to argue with her but I can't really stop myself. Like everything I blame it on my lack of sleep. I have heard if you don't get the proper eight hours of rest, it messes with your mind and robs you of your reasoning skills. I must be a living-breathing example.

"Lots of girls leave the top few buttons of their uniform undone."

I realize my mistake immediately but it is too late. There is no place to hide from her glare. At that moment she looks really scary and I have to remind myself that she is my sensei.

"I see. So you have time to doze off in class, but you are fully awake when you are spying on your female classmates in between classes." She pushes up her glasses and crosses her arms over her breasts and looks at me like I am the scum of the earth. "Do you have anything to say in your defense, Hikigaya-kun?"

Why am I being treated like a common criminal? It's not my fault. Have you thought about talking to the girls, about how the way they dress up doesn't exactly follow the standard dress code of this school? If you ask me, that is the root of all problem. But something tells me, that isn't going to happen any time soon. Besides, I'm pretty sure I know how to respond to my sensei this time around.

"I'm not interested in immature, high school girls." I point out. "And I never doze off in your class, sensei."

There. It definitely had some effect. She huffed and looked away, unable to meet my eyes and truth be told, I don't really blame her. I don't like to brag, but for a second there I sounded really cool. But unfortunately, nothing in my life goes accordingly to plan and I am never allowed to rejoice in any of my small victories.

"What was that sound?" Yoshitaka-sensei asked.

This time I looked away, embarrassed. I even tried to lie, unsuccessfully. "Who knows? Probably some wild animal who has escaped from the zoo. I should go call the authorities. If you will excuse me -!"

But sensei was really quick and she grabbed me by the arm before I could leave. "Hold it!" She adjusted her glasses and gave me a quick once over. From the looks of it she seemed pretty disappointed by her discovery. "Have you had anything to eat this morning?"

This morning? Try last night? I didn't know my stomach could grumble that loudly. What are you complaining about? If you want to get things done, go on an indefinite strike. And while you are at it, make it a hunger strike. It will save me some trouble. It's the end of the month. I don't have enough money. I am barely scraping by. But I won't be sharing my problems with sensei. I don't want her to pity me. It is much better to face her wrath instead.

"I am on a diet." I respond.

It's late at night and I am cycling back after completing my shift, feeling kinda nice about overcharging some rich, drunk bastard at the bar and when I finally reach my apartment, I find a familiar car parked in front of the street and a woman in glasses waiting for me.

"…You're late." Yoshitaka-sensei says.

"I am always late." I joke. "Now tell me why are you here in the middle of the night? You know this is a bad neighbourhood, right? What if you get mugged?"

It seems like the idea hadn't even crossed her mind. Granted, I may be trying to scare her a little bit, but I am doing this for her own good. Yoshitaka-sensei might be my teacher at school, but she is also a woman. I can't help but worry about her safety.

"I won't get mugged. I am not carrying anything of value with me!"

I give up. It's useless to argue with her. What about your car? What if it gets stolen? And it's not like the mugger will know that you don't have anything of value with you. Besides, you have something worth a lot to me – your life. I don't want you to die. But I don't tell her that, because it will probably lead to a conversation I am not ready to have. Instead, I point out the most obvious thing that a mugger will target.

"What's in the bag?"

It seems like Yoshitaka-sensei was waiting for me to notice the bag in the first place, because immediately she held it out to me. "I hope you like oden."

It's late and everyone is asleep and this woman has brought me a home-cooked meal. How can I refuse? But there is something I need to tell her, before I can enjoy her delicious cooking.

"I like you more."

Yoshitaka-sensei blushes and looks away and the moonlight and the wind plays an evil trick and I forget about the udon even though I haven't eaten anything. I am hungry but I hunger for something else now.

But even though we embrace each other like lovers, we stop ourselves from sharing a kiss and both our disappointments are clearly visible, etched on our respective faces. I look at my reflection in her glasses. They sit a bit crooked on her nose. I reach out and straighten them for her and she lets me. But there is nothing else I can do for her.

"Are you really okay with this?" I ask her and this is not the first time I am asking her this question. "You know I respect your decision to not date me until I'm twenty, but it seems like I am taking advantage of your kindness, sensei. You made me udon and I can't even invite you in for some tea."

"…Do you even have tea at your place?"

"Of course I have tea!" Wait, does that mean - ? "Do you want to come in…?"

Yoshitaka-sensei looks really conflicted. She looks at me, looks at her car, looks at the buildings in the neighbourhood, looks at me again and I kinda understand why she is so worried. She is an adult. I am a minor. But she is a woman and I am a man and we are both in love. Regardless, I cannot be selfish. All it takes is for one nasty rumour to spread and her life will be over. I cannot have that on my conscience.

"…Now that I think about it, I don't think I have any tea left." I lie to her face and don't feel the least bit guilty about it. "Sorry, sensei."

For some reason, Yoshitaka-sensei doesn't look annoyed at all. She simply smiles, looks at me with a fond expression, straightens her glasses and heads for her car. I follow her, hold the door open for her and close it after she gets in.

"You are not nearly as clever as you think." She informs me and I have the decency to look embarrassed. But she saves me at the last moment by slipping into her role as a teacher. "Finish your homework. I won't go easy on you just because we are…we are…" and she blushes profusely and ducks and starts the engine and leaves without even saying goodbye. "Just do your homework!"

I watch her leave with a smile, almost laughing at her reckless driving and I take out some of the udon and start eating it because I am really hungry. The food has gone cold. How long had she been out here waiting for me? I should tell her to stop bringing me food. But I can't. I love eating her home cooked meals. And I love Yoshitaka-sensei. What the heck, I sound like some love sick teenager. Not good, she deserves a grown man, an adult, someone who can take care of her. Three more years, I tell myself as I head inside, three more years, sensei. Wait for me...