Thank you so much for your encouraging comments! Fraya123L – they are getting closer indeed, but the road ahead is still long and rocky…
Here, have an update!
The next day dawned as such days are wont to do, with little fanfare and a general sense of dread and gloom.
Nami had read enough about the importance of sleep (and gathered enough empirical data to support the literature) to realise that last night's revelry, coupled with a lack of both hydration and repose, would leave her feeling like the walking dead.
At least she could pride herself on having been capable enough to drag herself to her own bed last night, instead of falling asleep in in front of the fireplace, like the loudly swearing pile of tangled limbs, luxurious fur and bleary eyes currently occupying the spot.
The main course of the colourful language was Zoro, whose worst fears had been fulfilled: the crick in his neck was loud enough to wake Luffy, who lay fallen on the bear rug in front of the fireplace.
At a second glance, and recalling that they usually didn't have the pelt of a dead animal in the living room, Nami realised that he had been sleeping on an apologetic Bepo, who had apparently been roped into being Luffy's pillow on his way back from getting a glass of water in the middle of the night.
Well, there were worse ways to wake up than on Bepo.
Besides, Nami had much more pressing matters to attend to.
Like the shower.
As the sun climbed higher in the sky, so the inhabitants crawled out of bed. Morning greetings were exchanged in a mumble as the flock congregated in the kitchen one by one.
Some with more grace than others.
Chopper was unfairly chirpy while there was no sign of Usopp & co. Sanji, the eternal early bird, was busy preparing a spread fit for kings, queens and other leading figures. Bepo, having been roused by the commotion on top of him, occupied the end of the table, nursing a cup of coffee.
One tragic look levelled at Law through the eyes of a mink was enough to drag the man into the seat next to him instead of following his original plan of grabbing his companion and surreptitiously disappearing into the morning mists.
Damn the mink and his cute button eyes and need for breakfast.
Although Law had to admit the veritable feast in front of them both looked and smelled wonderful. The Frenchman seemed to have a magic touch with food. He grunted in appreciation as coffee appeared in front of him, tantalizing smells filling the calm morning air.
The early peace was broken as a frantic Luffy appeared, skidding around the corner.
"SANJI! I JUST ACCIDENTALLY ATE NAMI'S LAST TANGERINE! How long do you think I have to live?"
Law raised an eyebrow at the commotion, enjoying his second cup of coffee and the warmth radiating from Bepo in silence. What was all the fuss about a fruit?
Sanji merely shook his head in resignation, the occurrence apparently commonplace enough. "Ten."
The distant click of a bathroom door closing followed by light footsteps seemed to echo in the silence.
"Ten? TEN WHAT?"
Step.
"Nine."
Step.
"Eight–"
Luffy, eyes wide and frantic, tore out of the kitchen.
"That seemed… excessive," Law said, eyebrow raised while he reached for a caffeinated refill.
Zoro yawned loudly before regarding him for a moment, head askance. "You ever been yelled at by Nami?"
Law scoffed. Like the (astounding, brilliant, charming) slip of a girl could intimidate him, however angry she got when he left his coffee cups laying around their office. "I'm not scared of her."
"So that's a no."
Suddenly, a blood-curling and bone-shattering scream of "YOU DID WHAT?!" echoed through the house, leaving ringing eardrums and a primeval instinct to hide in a deep, dark cave in its wake.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU UTTER WASTE OF A HUMAN BEING? I'LL KILL YOU! I SWEAR, YOU STRETCHY PIECE OF–"
Pure terror filled the room, ancient survival mechanisms fighting to put as much distance to the invisible danger as possible.
Bepo and Law exchanged a slightly panicked look.
They'd never seen (or heard) Nami like this before.
But as Sanji and Chopper calmly continued with their breakfast and Zoro merely sniggered before reaching for another piece of toast, they concluded that the behaviour exhibited wasn't out of the norm and that we all have our own peculiarities so maybe it's all right for Nami to be ridiculously attached to fruit?
The situation resolved itself quickly, however, once Nami cornered Luffy in the kitchen and tried her very best to strangle him. She gave up when she recalled that blunt force didn't work that well on a rubber body and accepted Sanji's offer of making her a cappuccino and promise to buy her more tangerines when he went shopping later that day with a long-suffering sigh.
She had barely had time to seat herself before Usopp made an entrance.
One of the night owls of the Sunny, he usually woke up quite a bit later than the rest but due to both the party and the attempted Murder Of Luffy, his internal schedule had aligned with the rest of the crew. He sauntered, yawning, into the kitchen where a stunned audience was treated to the view of him, mid-stretch in the mid-morning.
"Good morning, cruel world!"
"Don't you mean goodbye?" Zoro asked, face impassive as he reached for the toast.
"No, no. I mean good morning. This world may be cruel, but I'm still kicking!"
Nami nodded gravely. "That really cheered me up."
Usopp gave her a jaunty salute. "And also goodbye, Sanji!" he shouted towards the kitchen. "See you in hell. Or Paris. Whichever I get to first. They might, however, be the same thing if this one discussion thread I found online is to be believed. You won't believe the things they have in those catacombs."
Sanji appeared, a plate of poached eggs in hand and inclined his head in acknowledgment before doing a double-take of the latest addition to the breakfast tableau.
"Usopp, what's the one thing I tell you every morning?"
"Wake up?"
"No, the other thing."
"Esope reste ici et se repose?" Usopp said in a wonderful imitation of a mock-French accent.
"Close, but no."
"For the love of all that's holy, stop sleeping naked?"
Sanji nodded. "That one. Also applies this morning, especially when we have company." He gestured towards Bepo and Law, seated at the kitchen table.
The mink gave a small wave.
The doctor merely raised an eyebrow.
"Ah." Usopp looked contemplative for a moment. "Nami, my dear?"
"Usopp, my darling?"
"Could I borrow your towel?"
"Don't you have your own?"
"Yes, but your towel is, at this moment in time, wrapped around your head, which is a mere hop and a skip away, while mine is in my room on the second floor."
When Usopp got his clothing situation sorted out (Nami had, for some reason, declined the towel he tried to hand back to her) and found a chair to add to the cramped table, brunch could continue, where he started to conscientiously put aside an assortment of goods for Kaya, who was catching up on some much-needed sleep: Nami could never understand the schedules of medical students, no matter how many times she tripped over a snoozing Chopper with his head laying stuck to an open book.
When Usopp disappeared up the stairs to deliver the gift of food to his beloved, she noticed the slightly constipated look on Luffy's face which usually preceded either (a) a genius insight into human nature and the various drivers of behaviour, or (b) something completely inane and confusing.
"If I owned a taser–"
Option B it was.
"–I'd probably get curious to see how it feels and taser myself. And that's why I don't have a taser."
"I think there might be some other reasons to the lack of taser-owning," Nami said, shaking her head as she buttered her toast.
Law, still unfamiliar enough to be surprised by the weird tangents Luffy's brain went on, looked slightly concerned if the furrowed brows were to judge by.
"Don't taser yourself. Your muscles may convulse and lock up, and you will not be able to stop tasering yourself, possibly leading to heart failure."
Chopper nodded in agreement, munching on an apple.
Luffy looked crestfallen. "But that's so boring!"
"Be responsible and find a close friend to taser you instead," Law concluded solemnly.
Chopper sighed, head falling against the table with a 'thump', apple forgotten.
Zoro nodded sagely. "This is what BDSM is for."
"BDSM is just not right," said Sanji with a frown while balancing a tottering tower of plates and cleaning away the remains of the fruit platter en route to the kitchen.
"You're the only one here who reads 'Fifty shades of grey' as a manual," Zoro scoffed, inner sage-ness momentarily forgotten. "BDSM is perfectly safe when you communicate openly and honestly with your partner."
"Boys," said Nami, a dangerous lilt to her voice, waggling her eyebrows in the general direction of their guests. It was too early for Sanji and Zoro's time-honoured discussion (or 'shouting match' as the rest of the crew called it) regarding the acceptable bedroom behaviour of consenting adults.
Luckily enough her dunderheaded housemates seemed to get the memo as Sanji merely threw Zoro a glare that would have skewered a lesser man before disappearing into the kitchen.
"Thank you."
"Oof," Luffy laughed, reaching for the bread.
"What?" Law said, looking confused.
"Haha. Mood." Zoro stated, sage look once more upon his face.
"What does that mean?" Law asked, the look of confusion nearing a visage of perplexion.
"Bro, we just vibin'," said Chopper as he lathered jam on his toast.
"Vibing?"
"Lol. Okay, boomer," came from a passing Usopp, a second plate of breakfast in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.
"Boome– are we even speaking the same language?"
"Oh Lordy, send help," Nami groaned, burying her head in her hands.
Law merely sighed, shook his head and have up. "How are you guys even friends?"
The group shrugged in unison.
"Nobody knows," said Nami.
"But nobody's complaining either," said Sanji, bringing over a towering pile of pancakes which he placed down as far away from Luffy as the table allowed.
This did not make any difference, since Luffy was still made of rubber and the pile immediately started decreasing at an alarming rate.
"I don't really know. Do you ever look at your friends like 'Ah yes, I'm so glad these losers are mine!'?" Luffy shrugged, happy grin in place and pancake in hand.
Law and Bepo exchanged a bewildered look before collectively deciding to drop it and focus on their breakfast.
The companionable silence that filled the kitchen didn't have much time to gather before it once more was broken by a loud yelp, startling the whole table.
Bepo and Law accepted their fate and the fact that breakfast simply would not be the meditative experience they were used to.
The source of the sudden noise was soon revealed as Luffy and the reason for the noise was revealed as Chopper's fork stuck in his hand.
"We've talked about this!" Chopper looked as angry and intimidating as a small ball of fluff and cuteness could manage, shaking his hoof at Luffy. "No reaching over the table! If you want jam, you ask for it!"
"Sorry…" Luffy muttered sullenly, cradling his injured hand.
Law whistled. "Damn, you're violent."
"Yes, but I'm tiny and fuzzy so it's adorable," Chopper grinned before happily munching away on his piece of toast, jam secured beside him.
Sanji merely grinned as he started gathering the dishes. He'd miss these people.
When Law and Bepo had filled their stomachs and taken their leave and the rest of the crew withdrew to prepare for the main activity of the day (taking Luffy to the park and possibly go get some ice cream if the good ice cream place was open), Sanji tidied up in the kitchen, enjoying the silence and the way the sunlight painted the kitchen in warm pastel hues.
He enjoyed these moments when he had the house to himself, the rest of the crew happily fed and out of his hair.
Except for the knucklehead.
"I made tea," he greeted Zoro, ambling back into the kitchen.
"I don't want tea," was the answer he received, accompanied by a jaw-cracking yawn.
Sanji shrugged. "I never said I made you tea. This is my tea."
"Then why did you tell me?"
"It's a conversation starter."
Zoro threw him a bleary glare. "It's a horrible conversation starter."
"Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate."
Zoro merely huffed, grabbed a cup and started trying to operate the coffee machine with one hand.
"You could have had your coffee earlier, with the rest."
The answering grunt clearly communicated the marimo's ideas of the proper time to have coffee (after noon) and the impossibility to enjoy coffee as it should be (in peace) with Luffy around.
After watching the struggle for a few moments, Sanji finally took pity on the man and pushed him aside, making him the coffee. A second grunt was all the thanks he got when he handed the injured man his steaming cup of life-giving beverage, but life's a bitch and so's Zoro.
"So, where do you disappear to every Thursday?"
Sanji's tone was casual as he leaned against the kitchen counter, playing with his cigarettes. He'd probably have lit one already, if Usopp and Chopper, usually meek and compliant, hadn't teamed up, stood their ground and enacted a 'no smoking'-policy inside the Sunny.
Zoro regarded the blond for a moment, sipping his coffee. Well, it would come out sooner or later. This way, he'd still get a few more days of enjoyment out of the whole thing.
Dragging the silence out as long as he could, Zoro strolled lazily across the kitchen, depositing his empty cup in the sink and pouring himself a glass of water, slowly sipping it away before deigning Sanji with an answer.
"It has to do with my... injury, hasn't it?"
Sanji's eyes narrowed, his fidgeting increasing.
"Yes, it does. As you so conveniently broke your wrist last week, I've had to take over your duties in the house, as no-one else seems to care about the mess you people create, honestly–"
Zoro drowned out the irate badgering. Sure, he felt a tad sorry for Sanji, having to do twice as many chores, but with six people in the house, it still wasn't that much to do. And if he was the only one to be bothered about the one day a week that things weren't spick-and-span... well, what could Zoro do about that? Nobody else minded, so really, Sanji could only blame himself.
"–and now you aren't even listening to me, you mossbrained jackfruit–"
"Do you really want to know how I broke my wrist?" He interrupted the flow of grumbling.
"Of course," Sanji scoffed. "I wouldn't have asked otherwise."
"Aww, you do care."
"In your dreams."
"Don't deny it. But as you're so curious, I'll tell you."
He paused for effect, taking a sip of water. The twirling pack of smokes had stilled in Sanji's hands as if it too waited to hear the great reveal.
"I was hulahooping."
The silence was deafening.
Sanji could but stare at the green-haired man.
"I attend a class both for fitness and for fun. After the dojo closed, I had to do something to keep up with my training."
"...oh my god," a strangled sound escaped Sanji.
"I mastered all the moves," Zoro continued, oblivious to, or possibly just ignoring, Sanji's state of shock. "The Pizza Toss, the Tornado, the Oopsie Doodle. But I was tripped by a flyaway ring last week and didn't break my fall properly, resulting in a broken wrist."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Partly because you asked, and I can be a nice person on occasion." Zoro smiled warmly at the cook, placing us now empty glass in the sink.
"But mainly because no-one will ever believe you."
"...you sick son of a mangy bitch."
One should always remember the intended audience of the publication and that other people than those expected could happen upon the work. If these people lack the proper understanding of the work's context, they can be confused by the apparent lack of clothing of the author.
Also:
Next chapter will introduce the New Professor! Or rather, the trial lectures to determine the New Professor. The number of the trials will be three, and three shall be the number of professorial candidates.
I have two trials done and written, but one candidate is still missing.
Who would you want to see as candidate for a professorship at this venerable academic institution – and why?