Shadowboxer Chapter 4: Winnings, Deflections, and Declarations, a twilight fanfic

CHAPTER – 4 EPOV WINNINGS, DEFLECTIONS, AND DECLARATIONS

The Way Things Are –Fiona Apple

I wouldn't know what to do with another chance
If you gave it to me

I couldn't take the embrace of a real romance
It'd race right through me

I'm much better off the way things are
Much much better off, better by far, by far

I wouldn't know what to say to a gentle voice
It'd roll right past me

And if you chalk it up you'll see I don't really have a choice
So don't even ask me

I'm much better off, the way things are
Much much better off, better by far

So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
And Ill keep kicking the crap till its gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet Ill be
Able to move on

How can I fight, when were on the same side
How can I fight beside you

So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
And Ill keep kicking the crap till its gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet Ill be
Able to move on

EPOV

After a few more awkwardly intense moments of silence in the office with Jasper he left to go do whatever it is he does when he isn't breathing down my neck about carbs and focus. I sat morosely in the chair waiting for Emmett to grace me with his presence.

While I was moving into my wonderful fantasy world where Bella was currently giving me a sinful view of all her glorious womanly bits and doing a rather provocative dance while using the desk as a damn lucky prop, Emmett decided to ruin any chance at figuring out if she indeed could drop it like it was hot. I groaned and rubbed my face because this was getting out of hand.

He just grinned at me and smirked. Damn it all to hell with these know it all bastards and their suggestive looks. I swear to God, the moment Emmett mentions monkey sex I was going to punch something.

"So the monkey sex is that good huh?"

Fuck it all to hell.

"Emmett…" Growling usually stopped him.

"Whatever man, it's nice to see a post coital glow on someone."

"You actually know what 'post coital' is?"

"I have to; I sport the look after every match. Those number waving hussies always like it rough."

I shuttered thinking about the bikini clad girls who announced the rounds at the matches. They were stacked but seriously rough around the edges.

One too many hits off the crack pipe.

"You're set for a match next month."

The tone of his voice was pensive, cautious almost. I quirked an eyebrow; Emmett was doubting the outcome and I had to feel shifty about that. He never doubted my winning.

"Who?"

"James."

Shit. That pompous prick was a thorn in my side. We had sparred on occasion and it always ended up getting too serious. He played dirty. Of course a lot of guys played dirty but with James, winning was everything and so the dirty tactics got taken to a whole new level. He was calculated in his process and I often dreaded the day I would have to fight him in the ring. He would pull out all the stops if there was money on the line. I cringed and peered over to Emmett grave face. He was no more than likely remember all the shitty hits James had taken in the practice matches we had.

"What's the take?"

"Well, 175 on the winnings and 50 on the count."

"Why the hell so much?"

"This match up has been buzzing for a while now, I'm sure you know that. Lots of big rollers coming out to see the two golden boys go at it. They've even employed sponsors for this gig. I'm assuming Royce wants this to be a big match."

I groaned. Dammit, that meant there was more than just a single winning on this. James would want to make a good damn impression if there were sponsors involved. Me? I didn't give a shit. I fought for a living not for the glory.

"I've already submitted our terms. Jasper isn't happy about this but I think you can take him. We just need to get you ready for the shit shots he's going to take."

Shit shots my ass. He was going to kick me when I was down. I nodded at him and he nodded back at me in silent agreement. Neither of us was happy about this but in a twisted sort of way it had to happen. It was eventual, I knew that and so did he. James and I fighting was bound to happen sooner or later and it just so happen to be sooner.

"So what's the DL on you and the new help?"

"Exactly that. The DL. That you are not privileged to knowing and don't go harassing her about it either. I don't need her running from this before it gets to being anything. Don't grill her on it and don't bring it up or so help me I'll be practicing my right hooks on your pretty, boyish face."

No matter how hard I tried to contain my composure I had to grin at his beaming smile. He just nodded at me and I knew from the red rising to his face he was trying so hard to bite back an inappropriate comment.

Fucker.

Emmett rose and clasped my shoulder before walking around me and out of the office. Jasper breezed in and they shared some sort of look. I rolled my eyes. I hate that shit.

"Edward. I assume that Emmett told you about the match."

"Yeah, I'm all a tingle with the knowledge."

"I don't like it. James isn't a fair fighter. If you want to pull out I won't give you shit for it. Hell, if I were you I would pull out before I got killed."

Part of me wanted to agree and the other part that wielded a club and sported a fur leotard wanted to laugh in his face. I shook my head instead and set my eyes on the cup holder on Emmett's desk. I could see Jasper shaking his head out of the corner of my eye and resisted the urge to snort.

"Edward, this isn't like the others. He wants this too much. I think we should bow out and live to fight another day."

"No. I'm doing this."

"You know James is the one who proposed the match. Not King. James wanted this. He is chomping at the bit for a shot at you and I don't know about you but I have a feeling he has something up his sleeve. He won't lose and he wants this too much. He's making it personal and you know what that means."

I did know what that meant but I couldn't back down. Perhaps it was the testosterone induced high I was on from being with Bella the night before. Perhaps it was the perspective that I had newly required from being with her. Maybe it was a twisted attempt at protecting her from shitbags like James. That by eradicating this world one asshole at a time she would be safer. And maybe I was just a prideful motherfucker who didn't want to admit that there was someone out there who packed a harder punch that I did. Whatever it was I wasn't going to back down in this. My rational mind was MIA and I was thinking solely on centuries of holding open doors, laying jackets in puddles, and paying for dinner while coming home to an apron, pearl necklaces, and vacuuming.

Jasper sighed and nodded at me once. He knew. He was in my position once.

"So, what's this development with Bella?"

"Jesus, you and Emmett are becoming gossiping little women. Let me make this clear. None. Of. Your. Fucking. Business. When I start crying in between my sit ups I'll spill my soul to you, until that day comes just leave it alone."

"Alright, well I'll save my spiel on breaking down the whole thing for now but I just want you to know, I think she's good for you. You walked in this morning looking fresh for having the shit beat out of you. I understand you want to keep this under wraps for her sake. Just don't fuck it up. She's a nice girl. I like her and so does Emmett. She took a huge risk yesterday morning for your ass and she almost got herself hurt. She cares about you enough to do that. And while you're my boy and all I will not hesitate to put you in your place if you do hurt her over some stupid shit. I know you Edward and she isn't like the other girls. She's complicated and skittish. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into. It's going to take patience to work something out with her and I know you aren't one for pacing yourself when you want something."

So much for saving the spiel.

I nodded at him with as much respect I could muster. I might not like the protective air was taking over Bella but I sure as hell understood it. In a way I was appreciative over it because it meant that there was someone else out there who was going to watch over her. That he agreed that she was good for me was nice to know too. I wouldn't have to fight him on the whole thing. Which was saying a lot because we spent two weeks head to head over the fact that I was not going to give up eating pizza. Dieting and training be damned.

"I understand…and I appreciate it. She's special to me Jasper. I feel…out of sorts because of this whole thing and how fast it's going but …it's like I need to know her. I need to figure this out and I don't know…I care. I mean I really care about her. It's really scary, and I can't believe I'm going on about this right now, but I need this to work. I need to make this work out. You're right she is skittish and I'm not the best one to be helping her but she makes me feel okay. I don't feel angry with her. I don't feel like I'm just in the motion of things. She's a reason Jasper. She's a reason to do the things I do. I feel like I'm not making any sense here but I want to. I want to be the one who takes care of her. I want to be responsible for her. I want to… fuck I want so many things now because of her."

He looked semi stunned for a moment. It was possibly the most I had ever talked to him about my feelings and I was feeling a little unsettled at the Oprah moment we just had. Dammit, now I was becoming a gossiping old woman.

"Well, that's uh….huh. I'm happy for you man. Just don't fuck it up. I'll be watching and if you do I'll kick your sorry ass."

"If I fuck it up, I'll kick my sorry ass and you can take care of the rest."

"Good. Now let's go before we start braiding each others hair and giggling. I'm drawing a line here."

Laughing we shared a rough hand shake and the classic manly shoulder hug before exiting the cramped office.

I waiting around and talked with Jasper and Emmett about started back to training the following week. I inwardly sighed at all the fucking work I was going to have to do to get ready for this fight. While the odds of winning in the ring against James were fifty-fifty at this point I had a bad feeling about the whole thing. Jasper's comment on how James had something up his sleeve was gnawing at me because he was right. James didn't fight fair and the possibilities of what he had in store were terrifying.

Those thoughts were dismissed when I took to watching Bella sweep the floors and fight with the mop and bucket. Grinning on the bleachers I realized that this woman was worth all the punches in the world. I could take James. I had to. I would take his self perception down a notch and prove to myself I could be the man that Bella needed. I could be that man in the ring and out of the ring. I was up to the challenge. At that moment Bella looked up at me and smiled.

Definitely worth it.

A/N: Yeah, so two updates so soon. It's not nearly as long as the other chapters and I'm not backing down from those. The deal here is, is that this chapter and the next will be shorter. Around chapter six things will pick up in the length department. So bear with me. I have the outline done this way for a reason. I honestly need a break from the 7-8 thousand word thing. It's going to be on and off long and short until Chapter 11. That bitch is going to enormous.

Leave me some love.