CHAPTER – 13 BPOV – It's Over.


Better Version Of Me –Fiona Apple

The nickel dropped
When I was on
My way beyond
The Rubicon
What did I do?

And of the games that I can handle
None are ones worth the candle
What can I do?

I'm a frightened, fickle person
Fighting, cryin', kickin', cursin'
What should I do

Oooh, after all the folderol,
And hauling over coals stops
What will I do

Can't take a good day without a bad one
Don't feel just to smile until I've had one
Where did I learn?

I make a fuss about a little thing
The rhyme is losing to the riddling
Where's the turn?

I don't want a home, I'd ruin that
Home is where my habits have a habitat
Why give it term?

Oh, after all the folderol
And hauling over coals stops
What did I learn

I am likely to miss the main event
If I stop to cry or complain again
So I will keep a deliberate pace
Let the damned breeze dry my face

Oh, mister, wait until you see
What I'm gonna be

I've got a plan, a demand and it just began
And if you're right, you'll agree

Here's coming a better version of me
Here it comes a better version of me
Here it comes a better version of me


BPOV

Today is Saturday and God, how I love it. Currently, Edward has his head nestled over my chest and is squeezing the ever loving shit out of me in bed. It's about five-ish… I think. The last time I looked at a clock was hours ago when Edward had tackled me and we began to do the horizontal tango.

Having sex with Edward Masen was the most amazing thing that ever happened in my life.

I giggled and he looked up at me with that adorable grin on his face. I smiled back at him and we made goo-goo eyes at each other. My hair was sticking to my neck from the sweat and his face was damp with it as well. We were laying haphazardly on the bed tangled in his feather comforter. Apparently since it was October, it was time to bring it out and Sweet Mother was this thing awesome. It was soft and fluffy and so fucking warm; the butter of all comforters. I snuggled into the mattress and Edward squeezed me tighter, our bodies sticking to each other and the heat from where we were connected was still generating slickness. I laid my head back and stroked his hair. He hummed and kissed my nipple.

I could hear my phone ringing in the living room and knew from the sound it was Alice. She had snooped around in my purse the other day and programmed all my ring tones.

Meddlesome little gnome.

I huffed and Edward whined. I had to laugh at his pout.

"It's Alice, I have to answer. She went on her like…fourth date with Jasper last night and I think she needs me. I'm shocked it took her this long to call."

He groaned and rolled off me. I sprinted into the living room, butt ass naked, and clicked the talk button before it went to voicemail.

"Hey!"

"Confab, twenty minutes, my place, mandatory."

"Alice…"

But she had already hung up, so I tossed the phone down and grimaced while walking back into the bedroom.

"She's making you go up there isn't she?"

"Yes. I have twenty minutes or I'm afraid she'll come here…"

"Go, we can do more of this when you get back." He wiggled his eye brows at me and I had to laugh. He was so fucking cute I just wanted to hug him till he stopped breathing.

I turned into the closet and pulled on underwear, jeans, and Edward's Beastie Boys t-shirt. When I re-emerged into the bedroom, he just looked at me with a slack jaw.

"That…is fucking hot. Do not, I repeat, do not let Alice get a hold of that shirt."

"Psh, Please Masen. What do you take me for? This shit is now mine."

He laughed and shook his head.

"You're keeping that shirt on and only that shirt, and I'm going to fuck you on the coffee table when you get back home."

I felt goose bumps run up my back and smirked at him.

"Promises, Promises."

"It's a guarantee. I will have my way, Bella."

I walked out of the bedroom giggling and grabbed my phone before walking out the door.

I made it to Alice's door and took a deep breath before knocking. It flew open instantly and she yanked me into the apartment.

"You were almost late."

"Shit Alice, I'm here. What is it?"

"Jasper and I had a moment last night."

"I'm happy for you but I don't want to know how big Jasper's…"

"No, not that kind of moment…like…we talked about why he avoided me for like five years and after what he said…I don't blame him. I know I should NOT be repeating this to you…but I have to tell someone something. I wanna tell you cause you're my friend and I don't know Rose but she seems like she would be a bitch about this…"

"Alice, slow the fuck down and just breath for a minute."

She nodded and we sat on the couch together. I liked this. I was a girl, she was a girl, we were having girly moments together. This was something I had never done before. I never had many girlfriends. I liked this. This was normal.

"Okay, so what I'm going to tell you has to stay between us. I hate telling you but I'm going to die without someone else to talk to and it has to be you."

"Well, thank you Alice. I'm glad you like me so much and feel the need to open up to me instead of thinking of me as your last resort."

She rolled here eyes and huffed.

"Okay, so I'm going to give you the watered down version…cause I don't think I could go all in like he did last night and honestly…I feel better just giving you the gist of it…makes me feel like I'm not being a total gossip."

I nodded and she nodded back at me. It was strange, like this silent promise or conversation was all in that gesture. I took a calming breath and prepared myself to be supportive.

"So, Jasper told me all about how he came to be a fighter and it's such a fucked up story but that's not what I'm going to tell you about. He started fighting and made this name for himself and – this was all before he moved in here mind you – and anyway so he was doing really well.

Then he met this woman named Maria. And this is why I need you. Maria apparently sucked him into this whole relationship that he didn't really want but at the time he felt like he needed to help her.

And she was supportive of his fighting because that is what made him happy and shit. Well anyway, so Jasper got set up in this match against this dude named Richards and well he really wanted to fight him cause it was a big take and shit and anyway, Maria told him she didn't want him to fight. And she was living with him at the time in this shitty apartment and practically mooching off him and she didn't work and didn't do shit for him and he said he was always taking care of her.

But yeah, so she tells him that she wants him to not fight and when he said he was going to fight anyway she asks him to throw the fight. She said that since he got money for fighting and losing anyway it was still a win-win situation. Well, he told her no. He said he couldn't believe that she would ask him to do that. And he was heartbroken that she would even ask.

So the night of the fight, she fucking hit him in the knee. She took a fucking golf club to his knee, Bella. And he couldn't do it. He had to forfeit the fight because he couldn't even walk. But Bella, the worst part is that he found out later that she was really with Richards the whole time. She wasn't like his girlfriend, she fucking worked for the guy who represented him.

And so, he tells me that he really liked me but when he met me he had just come out of that relationship. And fuck, I remember the first time we met. He called about the apartment and when he walked upstairs I remember thinking 'Wow, he's so fucking hot and he walks like he's on air.' And like the dumbass I am I go, "Hey, you must be Jasper, you seem really graceful for a tall guy." Cause I'm a fucking moron like that and now that I remember that moment Bella, he looked at me like I was the anti-Christ. I mean at the time I thought I smelled or something, but now that I know what had happened…I must have seemed like a fucking bitch. I didn't know what the hell he did for a living. I mean, I didn't know anything about The Ring or the fighting or his knee. I didn't know shit, Bella.
Then he says 'I really thought you were something, you know that? That you were this feisty little ball of energy and you took care of yourself and you worked hard at managing this place.' And I wanted to cry. I got all misty eyed and hugged him and I was like 'Jasper, I would never hurt you like that.' And he looked me dead in the eyes and said 'I know, Sugar. That's why I wanna do this with you.' And he kissed me. Not like a peck on the lips, like he kissed me and it was everything I thought it would be."

I just sat there stunned. I was happy for Alice. I felt like shit for Jasper. On top of everything though, the pieces clicked together for me. Jasper's hot and cold behavior towards me that started when Edward woke up in the hospital, his distrust in my intentions toward Edward, all of it made sense now. Jasper saw me as Maria. I was Maria. I was the homeless girl who was weaseling her way into Edward's life and telling him not to fight. I was the enemy.

"Bella? Jesus, help me out here."

"What. I heard you. I'm just…soaking it all up right now."

"Fuck, tell me about it. I've been a wreck all fucking morning. I could hardly sleep. I mean, things are going well but how the fuck do I compete with that? What the hell am I supposed to do to fix this? He doesn't trust me. I know he will in time, but I feel shitty knowing that he was hurt and now it's going to affect us."

It's affecting me too Alice.

"Well, here's the deal, Al. You can't go back in time and change it. You can't erase what happened. You have to just let him into your life and show him that you just...want him. You have to support him in everything and you have to give him the time he needs to realize that he has a good, honest thing in front of him. You're lucky that you have five years of friendship under your belt. He knows what kind of person you are and he knows that you have good intentions. I know that sometimes he might not act that way, but he's going to be defensive. So just…play it by ear and try. That's all I can tell you."

She sucked in a deep breath and nodded. She smiled a bit and filled me in on the rest of their night. He took her dancing and then they had dinner. She squealed about how sweet he was and how much of a gentleman he was and how he paid for everything. She talked at length about his accent, what he wore, and his hair (apparently it was god like). I nodded along with her and made appropriate comments until finally she wore herself out and I headed back upstairs. I was still thinking about this. I knew I had to talk to Jasper. I knew this before Alice told me what she did, but now I knew the reasons why and I couldn't say a damn thing. Jasper would know that Alice had told me and I couldn't betray her like that. I had to find a way to let Jasper know that I had every intention of supporting Edward in his decisions to continue fighting.

It was going to be hard and I had no fucking clue what I was going to do but I knew I had to something and soon. Edward was getting pissed about Jasper's apparent dislike of me and suddenly I understood that Edward must know about Maria. And he must have known that she was the reason Jasper was acting the way he was. I was stuck. I was stuck between Jasper, Alice, and Edward. I was the bad guy. I was the enemy.

I was the pathetic piece of shit who had nothing and if or when Edward decided he didn't want me anymore, I had nothing again. I would go back to my truck. I would without a doubt have to quit working at The Ring. I would have only the clothes on my back and my truck again.

I am the bad guy. I am the villain. I am the woman wielding the proverbial golf club and ruining lives.

When I finally made it to Edward's apartment and let myself in, I was feeling shitty and depressed. The door was unlocked and the TV on. I heard the shower running in the bedroom and smiled.

He's naked in there.

I slipped into the kitchen and pulled the marinating chicken out of the fridge, sticking it in the oven and setting the timer. The rice was done and cooling on the stove before I turned to go check on Edward. I heard the shower shut off as I turned down the lights in the living room. Going to the TV, I put in a movie not paying attention to which one and crept back into the kitchen to get the food on the plates.

While I was spooning rice next to the chicken and veggies, I felt Edward's arm wrap around my waist as he nuzzled my neck. I leaned back into him and sighed. He smelled so fucking good when he got out of the shower. Irish Spring, deodorant and spice…just cinnamony spice. Ung.

"It smells fucking amazing."

You smell fucking amazing.

"Thank you. You ready to eat?"

"I'm starved, are we eating in the living room?"

"Yeah, I put on a movie. Wanna get the drinks?"

He nodded and grabbed two glasses, filling them with water and following me out into the living room. I set down our plates on the coffee table and he pressed play on the DVD remote. Green letters flashed onto the screen and the comic book pages began to flip. I sighed heavily. I should have paid more attention…we were watching the Hulk. Again.

Edward just grinned at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.

After we finished eating, I took our plates into the kitchen and let them soak in the sink, returning to Edward so we could cuddle on the couch. I could take this like a big girl. At least this one had Edward Norton in it. We were halfway into the movie and Bruce and Betty were trying to get it on, but his heart rate began to increase and they had to stop. I turned my head up to Edward and looked at him in the blue light. He was so beautiful.

"What are you looking at?"

"You."

"Like what you see?"

"Yes."

"Good. I better be the only one you like to see."

I snorted.

"We're a lot like Bruce and Betty, you know."

"Uh, no we're not. We can have sex. I have no issues with my heart rate any longer and I plan on utilizing that fact. In fact, I seem to recall something about you and that coffee table."

"I'm serious, just hear me out. Bruce has anger problems. He was made into the Hulk. He didn't want it, it's just the cards he was dealt. You have anger problems and you were made into a fighter. You didn't want to fight but you do because these are the cards you were dealt. And Betty, she just wants to help Bruce control his anger. She understands that the Hulk is apart of Bruce. She wants to help but she doesn't know how."

At this point Edward was staring at me so hard I thought I was going to combust but I held my ground. This was how I was easing into things. This was how I handled seriousness without yelling.

"Bella…I think…I think that Betty does know how to help the Hulk. I think that without consciously doing it, she does. She makes his life easier. She grants him the stability that he needs. She makes him a whole person and she knows exactly how to calm him down. She's…she's the peace in a storm of demons and she makes him find himself in all the rage."

"That…may be true. But ultimately it's Bruce who has to change himself. Betty might help him but he's the one who has to come to terms with his anger. He has to find that peace."

"Without Betty there is no peace. Without Betty there is no calm and there is no fucking reason to be calm. Without her there is just chaos and anger. She is what drives him to find the control. She is what drives him to change."

His words were harsh and final. They were a warning.

"How has the Hulk changed then? He didn't really seem all that angry and out of control anyway. I mean, he knew to save her when the helicopters crashed and he knew not to hurt her when he was in Hulk form. Why is he such a badass then? He had control with her and he only fought when he was provoked. How does she change him?"

"Because she cared enough to find him. She cared enough to take care of him when he was broken after the General tried to blow him up."

Before I could make another veiled response, Edward scooped me up and took me into the bedroom. Throwing me down on the bed, he wedged himself between my legs and kissed me hard.

"You changed me."

And then we were hands and lips and fingers and bodies mashed against bodies.

However, before the Hulk had a chance to screw Betty there was a fucking knock at the door.

Edward groaned and propped himself up.

"What are the fucking odds of us ignoring that and it going away?"

I just laughed and pushed him off me.

He trudged out into the living room and opened the door. I followed him and saw Jasper breeze into the room.

"This better be good man."

Jasper surveyed my flushed face with disdain and turned to Edward.

"They've set a date for the fight."

I sat down on the couch and watched them. Edward had not missed Jasper's appraisal of me and his nostrils flared in annoyance.

"Tell me and get out."

Jasper glanced back over at me and I shrank away from his penetrating stare. I wasn't angry with him, not after what Alice told me.

You have every right to hate me.

"Don't you fucking look at her. Tell me what you have to say and get out. I'm not in the mood to deal with your shit and I sure as hell won't stand for you treating her like this anymore."

Jasper never took his eyes off mine.

"December 31st. New Years Eve. Is that okay with you?"

I gaped at him. I had no clue what to say. Why was he being like this? Was it because he told Alice his past last night? Were the memories still fresh?

"Jasper!"

He finally turned to look at Edward.

"Edward, I have to say something now. You need to think about your priorities. You need to think about all you have worked for. This is getting in the way. You are not focused on your training; you are not getting your head into this like you should."

Jasper's voice was calculated. His words were clear and precise. I shuddered; he was telling the truth. I was distracting Edward and it could cost him dearly in the ring.

"Shut the fuck up. Bella is not Maria, god dammit and you will treat her with respect. She has done nothing but put up with your bullshit while slapping a smile on her face and I'm fucking sick and tired of it. Just get the fuck out of my apartment and leave us the fuck alone. I will not say it again. Go away."

Edward's voice was low and menacing. He was angry and as I looked at him, he looked nothing like my Edward. I had never seen him so angry before. Not even when he was fighting James did he look like that. I actually felt a shiver of fear go up my spine.

"It's so fucking convenient isn't it? That she just happens to start working at The Ring the day that Mike and Tyler leave you for dead? It's so fucking convenient that she was there at what? Three fucking o'clock in the morning to get your ass and patch you up? She didn't take you to the hospital; she didn't do anything like that. She's homeless? She lives with you now? She tells you she doesn't want you to fight this rematch? It's so fucking convenient that they knew where to have Mike go to drug your water? She's the only person who heard that conversation? She didn't say anything until you had all that shit in your system? She couldn't make it up front, my ass! She waited until you drank it all then she told us about it because it didn't finish you off. That was some sweet acting at the hospital too, darlin'. When you wake up she tells you not to fight. She calls you fucking stupid and tells you not to give James what he deserves. Do you not see it?!"

I cringed because when he said it like that it sounded really bad. I searched Edward's face and I froze. He was going to snap. He was turning that red splotchy color and his fists were balled up tight. I decided to interject before it got out of hand.

"Look, Edward…he's right. I mean, he's not right…I don't want to hurt you and I didn't plan anything…but I'm a distraction so maybe I should just…I don't know stay somewhere else now…and you can train and focus…"

Jasper cut me off.

"Oh, isn't that just precious. Offer it up and play the sweet innocence. He'll be more distracted without you here. Think I don't know what you're playing at? Make me look like the bad guy for making you leave. Fuck that. I've got your game right now. Edward has been under my wing for years. I have his best interests at hand. You are fucking ruining everything he's worked for. You traipse in here and take care of him and expect him to fucking bow at your feet and do what you say. Tell me, how long did it take you to sink your claws into him? How long before he was tapping that? Huh? Tell me it doesn't sound like you're using him? He buys you clothes and lets you stay here. Who were you fucking to get this gig sweetheart? James? King? Who?"

The tears welled up in my eyes because what he was saying was so fucking plausible and Edward was going to believe him. Not only that, I hoped he did. I hoped he'd push me away because I couldn't fucking deal with it anymore. I was hurting him and I was hurting. I was lying to him but not about loving him or helping him or any of the shit Jasper had said but I was lying to him about my past and I felt like shit for it.

Jasper took a step toward me and raised his hand to point but before he could say what he wanted to, Edward had thrown him against the wall beside the TV and was hitting him.

The cracks and blows making me feel sick. Jasper bent low into a crouch and wrapped his arms around Edward's torso and pushed him back. They both went diving to the ground and Jasper reared back to grab Edward's flying fists. He didn't want to hurt him, just hold him back from doing any damage but the struggle was getting harder and Edward was still managing to lay in a punch or two. He finally dislodged Jasper by clipping his throat. They separated only for a moment before Edward tackled Jasper once more.

In my mind I registered my shrieks and my screaming. I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I wanted to stop them but I was afraid. I felt like such a coward. Somewhere in my mind I understood that this was so horribly wrong and it was my fault. My voice was hoarse as I repeated for them to stop… 'Please, just stop.' Over and over again I chanted it as if they could hear me. I was frozen in place watching them hit and kick.

Finally, Edward threw Jasper off him and they both faced off, breathing heavily and glaring.

"She's turned you against us already. Look at what she is doing to us man. Look at us!"

"Bella. Is. Not. Maria."

The words seemed to make Jasper loose touch and before he could regain his composer, Edward lunged forward and slammed him against the hallway wall. The plaster cracked, forming a dented oval. White dust showered into Edward's hair and over his shoulders while Jasper's face was streaked with it.

I lost touch with time and reality as they struggled with each other.

They parted once more, panting and glaring at each other.

"Is she worth turning your back on us? I found you when you had nothing. I gave you work, I gave you the means to support yourself. I helped you through everything and you're going to throw it away on her? She's using you. Edward, stop this."

"She's worth everything. Leave or I will remove you."

Jasper shifted his gaze to mine.

"Don't. Fucking. Look. At. Her."

"You'll destroy him. You already have."

You already have. You're the enemy. You're a liar. You're his downfall.

Edward leapt forward with a growl and gripped Jasper's throat tightly, taking them both down to the ground. Emmett and Alice came through the door suddenly. I glanced at them but shifted back to Edward and Jasper brawling on the floor. Emmett looked on with shock before jumping in to separate them. I couldn't hear whatever he had to say. I couldn't do it.

I ran. I exited the apartment and saw the people standing outside their doors all staring and talking to each other. My tears made everything fuzzy and blend together, but I managed to make it down the stairs and out of the building without falling once. I realized too late that I didn't have my purse or keys. I wasn't even wearing shoes. But I was going to be damned if I went back into that apartment.

You'll destroy him.

A sob ripped through me, and I knew I seemed hysterical standing there on the sidewalk looking around me as if I had lost a child. I took off running and the cement beneath my feet hurt and felt amazing at the same time. The pain of it grinding into my heels made me feel better.

Run away…far, far, away. You need to run now…to stop the hurt.

So I did. I ran until I couldn't run. I ran until I had blisters and the skin on my feet were raw. I ran until I had no breath left and my head hurt from the lack of oxygen. I ran until my legs were sore and my eye sight cleared. I ran until the tears stopped. And when I stopped running, I walked. I walked and walked and my feet hurt so fucking bad, I just knew they were bleeding.

I paused when I hit grass and looked down. My toes were almost black with grime and dirt and I could see the redness fading around my heels and up the sides of my feet. I disregarded the pain and looked back up at my surroundings. I was at Diversey Harbor. I had hit the water. I took slow steps, passing North Pond and crossing four lanes of traffic until I was at the water front. I didn't care how crazy I looked in an over sized Beastie Boys t-shirt, ratty jeans, and bloody bare feet. I sat down at a bench far away from people. I was alone out here. Somewhere in my head I wondered why it was so deserted on a Saturday night. It was getting dark now, and the sun was setting behind me, shadowing the water in front of me. I sat on a bench and looked out at all the small boats docked in lines.

They bobbed and glided towards each other then away. Never touching, only drifting; the bumpers hanging around the edges of the hulls, scuffed and worn from years of buffering hits of other boats.

Tears tracked down my face fresh and needing release.

Because she cared enough to find him.

A sob broke free.

She cared enough to take care of him when he was broken…

I gripped my hair.

Edward, you need to think about your priorities. You need to think about all you have worked for. This is getting in the way.

I bit my lip until I tasted blood.

Bella is not Maria, god dammit…

I drew my knees up to my chest.

It's so fucking convenient isn't it?

Another sob…it was getting so fucking hard to breath.

You are fucking ruining everything he's worked for…..

She's turned you against us already. Look at what she is doing to us man. Look at us!

Is she worth turning your back on us?

I began to rock myself. My sobs grew louder, snot slipped down over my mouth; my eyes were swollen and throbbing. Still, I was suffocating. No air, no oxygen; nothing.

She's worth everything.

I cringed into my knees and felt the bile rise up into my throat. I swallowed it down reflexively.

You'll destroy him. You already have.

My toes curled and I shook my head, my hands still fisted in my hair, pulling at the roots. My feet ached against the edge of the bench seat.

You changed me.

I gasped. I greedily sucked in the air around me.

I ran. I was gone. I couldn't go back. I had nothing. Everything I was afraid of from the beginning happened. I was alone. My pocket vibrated and I pulled the phone out and saw his face on the screen. I couldn't even process the fact that he was calling me. The picture had me transfixed. I took it a few days ago. We were both in bed and it was early in the morning, his hair was crazy and his eyes just…glittered when he smiled. And he smiled that special smile just for me in the morning. So I took his picture as I fiddled with the phone and set it to show whenever he called. I told him 'This is my favorite Edward face and I always wanna see it when you call.' When the picture disappeared, I snapped out of my trance and realized I had not answered. He was gone, I was too late. I shut the phone off and slipped it back into my pocket.

I sat on that bench and sobbed. Nowhere to go and no one to run to, I stayed on that bench and cried.

It was over.

EPOV

I didn't need to die to go to hell.

She was so damn soft and warm, so sweet and so fucking smart. I was her Hulk and she was my Betty, my peace, my calm, my tranquility. And I had known this for a while but telling her that she was my saving grace had put it all into perspective, the timing was perfect. We were happy and laughing and I just knew. I love her. I'm going to tell her. So after I hauled her into the bedroom and laid her down, I kissed her and held her and I told her that she changed me… because she had. She made me better, she made me whole and she gave me a reason. She was the reason I got up in the morning and the reason why breathing was a necessity. She was the reason that the sun rose and the moon glowed, and she was the reason for anything beautiful in the world because without her light in my life, I wouldn't see the beauty or the calm. I wouldn't have the silence over the anger. I would just be drilling from moment to moment, getting by on the numbness that had settled over my heart years ago. I would be the machine that I was again.

It was on the tip of my tongue.

I love you.

And someone had to ruin the moment.

But it didn't matter. Because I was so high on the thought of telling her that whatever Jasper had to say wasn't going to ruin it. He would be in and out and then I could cocoon us back in our bed and back into each other and tell her how I felt. I could tell her that my heart would constrict when I touched her. That when I heard her humming, I felt warm inside. And when I woke up and felt her pressed against me, I wanted to weep because it felt so fucking good. I would tell her that she is the center point of my world. That everything revolves around her and I'd give her everything she could ever want. I would be everything she wanted. I would tell her how her smile was the most important thing to me and that I knew I'd loved her for so long but I just couldn't get it out. And that from the moment I saw her in my bedroom, I knew she belonged there.

I love you, Bella.

I wanted to tell her and then make love to her, and tell her over and over again as I made her feel good. I wanted to whisper it to her as she came and then shout it out as I marked her with my own release.

But when Jasper cut his eyes at her for looking rumpled, I felt the aggression. I felt the tension and the anger and the irate frustration boiling up to the top. He couldn't fucking let it go. I'd love to say it wasn't his words or his intentions but it was, and as soon as I saw those tears spilling out over her rosy cheeks, I snapped.

She would never be sad and she would never cry without vindication.

I was not mad. I was not angry. I was fucking furious. I was filled with so much rage and hate that if Emmett hadn't pulled me off of him, I would have fucking fought until one of us was dead. My eyes were clouded and my head filled with incoherent thoughts. Jasper…was no longer my friend. He was no longer my trainer and my confidant. He was the destroyer of my happiness, the harbinger of the death on my calm. My Bella.

Emmett's arms were caged around me and Alice was crouched down beside Jasper's hunched form. She checked him over before turning on me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? What the hell is going on here?!"

"Ask him. Tell her Jasper…tell her what you did."

She shifted her gaze back to him. I looked around.

"Where's Bella?"

"I think she went up to my place…." Alice explained, not taking her eyes off Jasper.

She was probably right. Bella would want to get away from this and I didn't blame her. Actually, I could kiss her for being smart enough to get out before she got hurt.

"What did you do, Jasper?"

He looked up at me, blood dripping from a split on his eyebrow and his teeth coated thinly in blood.

"She's ruined you."

Alice stood up, ram rod straight, and Emmett released me. From the tension radiating off his body behind me, I knew Jasper just made one less friend in the room.

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and saw the other tenants in the hallway. Two were brave enough to linger in the doorway, eager to see what the landlady was going to do about this. Alice walked over and slammed the door shut in their faces. I was surprised I didn't hear a thud when it closed.

"You're all acting like big fucking children. Bella ran out of here crying…"

"Of course she did. Her shit got called out. She's fucking using Edward. We don't know shit about her. She could be orchestrating this whole fucking thing under our noses. Do you not agree all that shit is just too fucking convenient?!"

I shook my head and took a step towards him. Emmett followed me but didn't stop me. He was livid, too. He put two and two together and got 'Jasper made Bella cry.' Jasper had two angles to watch now.

"One of us is going to walk away from this, Jasper…and one of us is not."

He glared at me and spit blood out onto the floor.

"Go ahead, Edward. I'm your friend. I'm trying to help you. You aren't thinking clearly about her. You need to look at this objectively. She's been using you. She baited you. How can you not think that everything that has happened was not orchestrated? It's too perfect, Edward. She's the fucking opponent here."

Alice gasped and her eyes were wide with shock.

"You…you…how could you? Did she hear you? Did you tell her that?"

"Well you see Alice, Jasper came in here being a dick to Bella. Then he fucking called her a liar and a whore. Then I decided that I had enough and that I was going to shut Jasper up, for the last fucking time, since he doesn't know how to fucking shut his own god damn mouth."

Emmett took two steps towards Jasper, a look of disgust on his face.

"Jazz…man, I can see what you're saying. I can understand it but this is Bella. This is not Maria. When Bella walked in and asked for the job, I knew I was taking a risk hiring her, but she was hungry and poor and just such a sweet kid. You saw her in the hospital waiting for Edward to get up, she was a wreck. She has done whatever you asked of her in accordance to his training. Edward trusts her. She has done nothing but help him and be there for him. Why can't you let him be happy?"

"The both of you are sucked into this shit…she-"

Emmett's jaw clenched, mine was already rock hard as we both advanced on him.

"I swear to fucking God, if you say what I think you're going to say I'll kill you."

"Edward, you and Emmett need to back up." Alice murmured.

I looked over at her and saw the death glare she had on Jasper. So I backed up, because pissed off Alice is fucking scary. Emmett followed suit and I actually felt a little giddy to see this shit.

"I want you to listen to me Jasper and I want you to listen to me real fucking good. I have been in love with you for five fucking years now, watching your every move. And I didn't know shit about your past. I knew nothing about what brought you here or who you were. I knew just what I saw. I knew you, standing in front of me, talking to me now. That is what I know, that is what I love. But not this. Not this angry, hostile, bitter man who is ruining his friendships and breaking down innocent people. This is some other Jasper, some old dark Jasper that I can't even stand to look at.

Because of you, Bella is probably upstairs right now crying her fucking eyes out and she doesn't deserve it. Have you spent any time with her? Have you talked to her? No, you just made calculated judgments and said 'fuck whatever my emotional instincts tell me'.

If you would listen to what your gut is saying, you would know that you trust her. That she is a good fucking person. Better than all three of you in here. I'm disgusted that I opened up to you last night about myself only to see this sitting before me.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret, Jasper Whitlock. Bella would give her life for Edward. She loves him. She's sacrificed her pride by living here and letting him buy her things. She felt fucking sick and guilty for spending that money he gave her but she did it because he asked her too. She cooks and she cleans and she fucking works at the gym. She finds time to go up to The Ring and help him train. Do you fucking chew her out then? No. You act like a pompous prick but you don't say shit. Well, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you acting like everyone has some ulterior motive."

"Alice…"

The resounding crack of her little hand hitting Jasper square in the mouth made my jaw drop because he stumbled when she hit him.

Alice has potential…

She cradled one hand in the other as she glared at him.

"You're a fucking asshole."

"Jasper, do you know what Bella said to me in the hospital after you left my room?"

He didn't acknowledge me, so I continued.

"She said, if you decide to do this and fight James again, I'll be behind you but don't make it about me or for me. She said she refused to be my obligation. Do you know how I found out she didn't have a place to go? I found her sleeping in her truck. I forced her into staying here. She never told me. She never wanted to show weakness. She never wanted to burden any of us. But none of this matters really. Not to you. You don't give a shit about her apparently. So let me ask you this…if she was fucking me over, if she was with King or James... did you think doing this was the best idea? Did you think making me choose between the two of you was going to help? Did you think that by her leaving I would be happy? Think about it Jasper."

Emmett picked him up and gripped his shoulders.

"We're going up to my place and having a nice, long talk."

He went without fight and I looked at Alice.

"I'll go get Bella."

"No, let me go talk to her for a moment and then I'll send her back down. You're fixing that wall. I'll charge it to Jasper's rent."

I chuckled and nodded my head. She loped out of the living room and I sat down on the couch and cradled my head. This was not the right time to tell her I loved her.

When she came back down, I would just have to talk to her and explain to her why Jasper did this. I would have to comfort her and tell her that I didn't believe a fucking thing he said. Because I didn't; I knew why Bella was here. I knew her intentions and I knew that she was genuine. I knew she really loved me and I knew that I loved her.

I love you, Bella.

It will have to wait for the next best moment I guess.

I sighed and gritted my teeth. I heard the door creak open and looked up to see Alice's panicked face.

"She's not there. She not at Emmett's, either."

I shot up off the couch and frantically searched for my phone. I hit the numbers with too much force, hitting unnecessary keys as my hands shook. Alice had to take it from me and dial the number before handing it back.

Straight to voicemail.

"Her truck is still here though…"

I grabbed my keys off the sofa table and shot out the door. I had to find her, I had to find her and tell her, the right time be damned. She couldn't do this to me now. She couldn't be gone…

This can't be over.

A/N:

I'm not sorry for that cliffie. at all.

alright, so long time to update. sorry ppls. I had issues with this chapter. at first this was going to be a fluff piece with Alice/Rose/Bella all being girly and talkin...but then as I tried to force that out....it didn't work. So I wrote what I felt like writing. Which means I cut this chapters intended fluff fest and in doing so the next chapter will almost not be a fluffy piece either. at least not completely.

so we have fail. Bella has run. Edward gives chase.

Jasper is an asshole. but before you leave me a review bashing Jasper...he had valid points. I mean even if he didn't have Maria's past under his belt...srsly, it looks shady on Bella's part.

Is Bella a bad guy? Hmmmmmm....interesting question.

Who will find Bella? Not who you think.

I love my sweeties at the T'd board for Shadowboxer. U bizzles are amazing. So thanks for being so supportive and great.

I wanted to thank Cheddah for being the best beta in the world and talking me through my issues with this chapter. Her kind words and praise went a long way in this chapter and helped me to update sooner rather than later. Thank you for being so full of praise and never hesitating to call me out on my shit. You are the reason for so much of this story so thanks.

Alright lovies…

Leave me some love...