October
CHAPTER – 14 EPOV CONSCIOUS CONFLICTIONS AND DIRTY CONFECTIONS
Never is a Promise – Fiona Apple
You'll never see the courage I know
Its colors richness wont appear within your view
I'll never glow - the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgments made on you
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention - to you
You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you cant afford to lie
You'll never touch - these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown - to you
You'll say, don't fear your dreams, its easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you cant afford to lie
You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention - to you
You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie
BPOV
The thing about depression is that it takes certain aspects of life away and leaves you floundering around in the dark. You see everything but you feel nothing. I've been sitting here for…well, forever. The sun has set and my butt has long since lost its feeling. My feet stung for about an hour or two before I just tuned that out as well. My eyes are swollen and I'm positive there is snot caked on my face. I can still smell Edward on this shirt and it makes my chest squeeze every time I acknowledge that fact.
The world was asleep during my minds transition into darkness. I wanted to think about my mother and father. I wanted to think about Edward, and I wanted to remember what it felt like to be happy but I couldn't. There was a block on those memories and the emotions that came with them.
Beautiful, numbing solitude is all I feel. Reasonably, I understand that soon I'll be hungry and tired. And eventually, I'll touch on another feeling besides the depression but right now I don't care.
I wish I could see the stars but there are dense clouds covering the sky. I am subconsciously aware that it is freezing out here and that might be why I can't feel my feet or fingers. My skin is vibrating with chills and my teeth are ground together in an attempt not to chatter. There is a storm brewing over me. The heavens are clogged with fat, furious clouds ready to let loose their wrath on me. The water is brackish and swelling, leaving the weathered boats to rock and sway, frantically making sure that the bumpers are useful. The wind is blowing, howling at me that my life would invariably never get better. I would be built up in a day like a cardboard Rome and knocked down in an hour by toddler's hands. Faint, misty rain is dropping down over me and I can't think of a more perfect time for it.
Between this realization and the wind picking up, I am aware that my solitude has been disrupted. I am no longer alone but I might as well be because the one person I actually want to see is not here.
"I figured I'd find you here."
I just nodded and kept my face trained on the boats ahead of me. I would not look at him. I would not see the disappointment on his face.
"Edward is worried about you. We'd all thought you went up to Alice's but…"
He stopped and I felt a warm coat drop around my back. I shut my eyes when he moved in front of me to fasten the buttons. It was too big on me and the warmth from his body heat made my skin prickle from the foreign sensation.
When I opened my eyes, I again refused to meet his stare and instead looked out over the black harbor above his head.
"Your feet are tore up."
I nodded once more and he sighed heavily. My eyes wandered down to his hands as he pulled out a roll of gauze and some sports tape. I idly wondered if he always had that in his pockets or if he just knew he would find me hurt. He pulled one of my feet down off the bench, propped it on his knee and began to wrapping.
"How did you find me?"
"Well, at first I didn't know that I would. Then I thought, if I were her, what would I do? Your truck was still there so I knew you walked and with everythin' that had happened, I knew you would be away from people. So, I just drove straight down the street 'til I happened upon here and by some instinct I got out and walked."
I just sat staring out over his blonde hair as he continued to talk.
"I was wrong. I…I know that there is nothin' I can say that will excuse what I have done to you. I know there is nothin' that I can do that will make this better but I want you to know that I love him too and I've…I've had a hard time since he was in the hospital, dealin' with my past and everything that happened.
"You…did not deserve anything that I said and after speakin' with Emmett…I understand things better now. I made a mistake and instead of trustin' what my gut told me, I trusted what my eyes were telling me. I put what little circumstantial evidence I had together and made concrete assumptions. I made you into someone you're not…"
"But you're wrong Jasper. I am exactly what you think I am. I didn't do those things you said, but I lied to him and I can't fix this. I want to tell him about…I want to tell him so many things but I'm afraid that if I do…he won't want me anymore."
Finally, I lowered my eyes down to his face just as the rain picked up and began to pour over us. I could barely see his face in the yellow light cast from the street lamps. His face was bruised, his lip busted and swollen. I never noticed before how vibrant Jasper's eyes were. They were cobalt blue, slightly dulled by the lack of light but still piercing.
Funny, I always thought they were more of a gray…
"I knew when I first met you that you were a good girl, Bella. I know that, even now. The only family I have is Edward and Emmett and I've protected them fiercely for as long as I've known them. Maybe it's the change that I'm afraid of, maybe it's the past; I don't know. But I am sorry for what happened last night and I'm here to take you back. I can't…
"I won't leave without you. Because I know and I have known that without you there, Edward isn't half the man he was before. I lied to you when I said that he wasn't focused because he is, and I lied when I said you would be the one to destroy him. I almost destroyed him. He found the perfect girl, his one in six billion and I tried to fuck it up for him. Please, darlin', don't let the ranting of a crazy old fool ruin the both of you."
Tears streamed down my face because he didn't get it. What he said was the truth. I lied by omission. I lie to myself everyday.
"Just…let me go Jasper. I can't go back. I can't face it…not anymore."
He hung his head and the rain pelted onto us harder, washing my tears away and matting my hair down. My breath blew out in icy puffs. I was shaking hard now; water seeping into my skin and chilling my bones.
"He loves you."
I stared at the crown of his head as he pulled my other foot down and wrapped it in the soggy material. The tape barely sticking as he fastened it closed.
"He loves you more than anything and if you don't come back, it will kill him. I know Bella. I know what it's like to lose your dream and Edward's dream isn't fightin' and being a winner. It's you. So please, for his sake, come back with me and help me make this right."
I gazed into his eyes and saw his sincerity; he believed what he was saying.
"Why did you come find me?"
"Because…I could never live with myself if I knew I was the reason for his misery and yours. You may hate me now Bella, but I'll always be here to help you and have your back. I'm an asshole and I make mistakes. I've been unreasonable all my life and after…after Alice…
"You see, you and I aren't so different. I know that look in your eyes darlin' and it's fear. I got it too. Not fear of dying but fear of living. Fear of feeling again.
"I don't know what happened to you and I'm not going to act like it was nothin', but I know enough to know that whatever happened to you before you met Edward won't mean a damn thing to that man. He loves who you are now."
I choked out a sob and nodded my head as he wrapped his long arms around me and held me tight.
"Now, let's get you outta this shit storm and back to your man."
I laughed and he picked me up easily, walking me over to his truck. He slid me into the front seat and buckled me up before I could protest. We drove in comfortable silence, and at a particularly long red light I heard him sigh.
"You will tell him what you're hiding, right?"
I felt my back stiffen and I nodded resolutely.
"I'll tell him. I just…I need to find the right time, you know? The right way."
"Yeah, I understand. Again, I'm sorry for last night. I lost it and I know sorry doesn't cut it but I am, and I want you to know that if you need anything, I'm here."
"You didn't even have to say sorry Jasper, there was never anything to forgive."
He took my hand and squeezed it and I smiled back at him before we pulled in front of the apartment. I sucked in a huge breath and tried to focus myself.
"I can't do it. I can't go back in there."
"Yes, you can. Fuck, if I can go back in there…you can go back in there."
"We'll go in together."
"Together."
He picked me up out of the truck and we went inside out of the rain. Instead of taking the elevator like I thought we would, he carried me up the stairs. I had a feeling he felt like punishing himself so I didn't say anything. I just prayed he wouldn't drop me. We made our way up to Edward's apartment where Alice was busy pacing the floor in the living room. She let out a strangled cry when she saw me.
"Oh sweet Jesus! Thank God! Edward has been gone all fucking night! He keeps calling to see if you've come back here! You're soaking wet…what the hell happened to your feet?! Hell, Bella…"
She stopped when Jasper, still carrying me, walked past her and followed us into the bathroom. Jasper of course took control of the situation promptly.
"Alice, sweetheart, go get me a bowl from the kitchen would you?"
She watched him begin to unwrap my feet and then scurried out to get the bowl.
"I'm going to clean this up, then you're going to get a hot shower and I'll dress it when you get out, okay?"
I nodded dumbly at him, and patiently watched as he took the bowl from Alice and filled it with warm water. He walked over to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a small first aid kit, plucked some ointment from it and a washcloth from the cabinet, before returning to kneel in front of me and wash my feet. It stung when he scrubbed lightly over the soles. He had to dump the water out several times and refill it with fresh water before my feet were clean. I was too tired and drained to care about the irony of him washing my feet.
"Okay, shower time. I'll be right outside waiting for you, okay?"
Again, I nodded as he backed out of the bathroom and left me alone. I stripped off my wet clothes slowly, making a note to wash Jasper's jacket, and yanked on the water, turning it to just the right temperature before stepping under the spray and shuddering. I washed my hair thoroughly and scrubbed my body until it was bright pink before getting out. Alice had left me a set of my sweats and bless her, one of Edward's shirts on the counter along with panties. I slipped them on and squeezed the excess water from my hair.
My reflection in the mirror looked foreign. My face was swollen from crying and while my cheeks were pink and my eyes were red, the rest of me was ash white. I felt thin and pale, and my facial features looked too big for my head.
I groaned when I heard the knock at the door.
"Come in, Jasper."
Before I could see him enter I turned and plopped down on the toilet, refusing to lift my head up for him to see.
Silently, he knelt before me and picked up my foot and inspected it.
"Christ, Bella."
My head shot up and I looked at Edward. His eyes were red and his hair was flying everywhere, looking more of a dark reddish brown than it's normal bright auburn. He looked older than he usually did. Tentatively, he reached up to touch my cheek.
"Bella…"
"Don't. Please, I'm sorry. I just…I couldn't…"
"Shhhhh…"
He pulled me into his arms, seating me in his lap on the floor and rocking me.
"What happened to your feet?"
"I wasn't wearing shoes when I left. I wasn't thinking."
"Baby…where did you go?"
"Um, to the harbor, I just…ended up there."
He nodded and rocked me, clutching me tightly to his chest and murmuring that I was okay. Slowly, he reached up to the counter and grabbed the tube of antiseptic, gauze, and tape and began to care for my feet.
What the hell is it with the gauze and tape? Am I missing something with this shit here?
Shaking my head, I watched as his long fingers rubbed the cream into my heel and then the balls of my feet where most of the skin had been shredded. I cringed when he hit a soft spot and he kissed my temple in apology. Once he had both of my feet bandaged, he picked me up and carried me to bed, tucking me in before shucking his clothes and climbing in with me.
"Don't be mad at Jazz."
He sighed heavily before squeezing my back to his chest.
"I'm mad at him. I can't be anything else right now. I know Jasper better than he thinks. I won't stay mad at him but for right now, he's lucky I don't put him in the hospital for that little stunt he pulled."
I nodded, pacified that there wasn't enough damage done to ruin their friendship.
"You're still going to train with him right?"
"Yes, Bella. Don't worry about that. Just go to sleep, baby. You've had a long day."
I snuggled into the down comforter and he tightened his hold on me before I fell asleep, still holding onto the guilt.
EPOV
I thread my fingers through her hair softly as the morning light began to filter in through the curtains. Glancing at the clock, it was almost ten in the morning. It's been a week since Jasper had his little episode. A week of Bella…not acting like Bella.
When Alice ran in to tell me that Bella wasn't in the building I panicked. She was gone. My chest constricted to the point where I almost began to hyperventilate and the adrenaline coursed through me like a second source of blood. The only thing in my mind was that she was gone and I panicked. I drove and looked for her on the sidewalks, freaking out more and more as I realized that she could be anywhere and anything could have happened to her. Gasping in short breaths, my vision narrowing to look for her, I was shaking with repressed rage. She couldn't have fucking left. She knows what it would do to me and fuck Jasper, I was going to tell her I love her and now she's gone.
So when Alice called me and told me that Jasper had walked through the door with Bella, I made an illegal U-turn while breaking several other traffic laws getting back to the apartment. As I walked in, I stopped his attempts at an apology with a raised hand.
"You brought her back. That's enough for right now. Get out."
He just nodded and left. I made my way into the bedroom and I heard the shower cut off. I tried to wait patiently for her to come out. After five minutes, I couldn't wait any longer and knocked. I opened the door and when I saw her feet, my fists clenched in frustration. I wanted to track Jasper down and break his ribs. Instead, I cleaned up her feet, bandaged them and put her to bed. I knew she was tired and frankly, so was I. I resolved internally that it was probably best to tell her that I loved her when we woke up.
Except she wasn't there when I woke up, she'd left a note telling me that she went out for groceries. That was how the week started for me. Bella avoided being alone with me at all costs and soon the epic urgency to tell her that I loved her died. She was pulling away from me and I didn't know how to stop it. Today was the first day that I had off and was awake before her. She looked exhausted.
I traced my fingertips over the blue shadows under her eyes. She didn't wake up but snuggled deeper into the crook of my arm. In her sleep she clung to me, but when she was awake she avoided me. I sighed and resumed stroking her hair. I would have to talk to her about it today. There was no avoiding it. I had to figure this out before it got out of hand.
After about an hour of dozing, I felt her start to shift and knew she was close to waking up. I looked down just as her eyes fluttered open.
"Morning, baby."
She blinked at me.
"Morning. What time is it?"
"Around eleven, I wanna stay in today and just be lazy with you."
I could see the discomfort start as she darted her eyes around the room looking for an escape.
Good luck with that one sweetheart.
"Bella, what's wrong? You've been distant all week."
"I just…I don't know…after Jasper…everything he said…I just feel..."
The realization struck me like fucking lightning. In the week that I had been trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her and what happened when she left, I'd never thought about what happened before she left. I knew Jasper was wrong but I hadn't told her that. I rolled over her and took her face in my hands.
"Bella, baby, God, I'm sorry. Look, what Jasper said…I don't…I don't believe any of that shit. I know you. I know who you are and I know all that bull he was saying was a lie. He was trying to connect the dots to shit that wasn't there. I know you would never do anything like that and he does too but he just got…crazy for a while. No one really believes those things, alright? Don't pull away from me because of this. Don't think I believe any of that. It's bullshit Bella, and if I thought any of it were true I would not be here right now. You have the best heart I have ever seen, out of all of us you are the best, baby and I know that."
Her eyes filled with tears and she had a look of anguish on her face.
"Please don't say that."
She started to suck in quick breaths and I knew a sob was going to break loose soon.
"Please, Edward…I'm not what you think I am. I'm not…"
"What are you trying to say, Bella? That Jasper was right?"
"No! Yes! I mean no! I didn't do those things he said, but I'm not a good person and I will end up hurting you…I'm not good for you, Edward."
"Fuck that Bella. Fuck that. You're here. I want you here. Do you know what I was like before I met you? Do you know how happy I am now? No, fuck that. Don't let him do that. Don't let anyone make you think that. You are a good person. You are my goodness. You have to see that. Jesus, I can't…I can't even make the words come out…"
I was fucking pissed off. Releasing her face, I fisted the sheets on either side of her head and breathed deeply. The warm smell of Bella filtered up my nostrils and down into my lungs. I pressed my face against her collarbone and inhaled again. It was calming me down. I could hear her heart beating and her chest shaking with her tears.
"Please, stop crying, baby. Please, just…God, don't think that. Don't ever fucking think that. I've done shitty things in my life. I've turned my back on my family and I've been less than honest about getting to where I am. And fuck, some days I do think you deserve better than me but I'm not letting you go. I fucking need you and I know you need me back. We both feel it Bella, I know you feel it too. So don't talk like that. Please, you talking like that…I can't lose you."
The panic I felt when she'd left last weekend poured over me as I clutched her to me. I couldn't afford to lose my head right now but it was too hard imagining her gone. Something so fucking amazing was in my life and to just have it gone was making me ill.
"Edward…I can't…I don't want to leave…"
"Then don't. Don't ever leave. Just stay here and whatever happens, whatever upsets you - I'll fix it. I'll make you happy Bella, just give me a chance to and I'll make everything perfect. Just give me some time."
"It's not that easy, you can't just make it okay, especially when I'm the one all fucked up…"
"Jesus, fucking stop it with that shit. There is nothing wrong with you!"
I pushed off the bed and grabbed my shirt, yanking it on and stalking out into the living room before turning right back around and walking back into the bedroom.
Didn't think one through did you?
"What the fuck are you afraid of?! Me?! Us?! What?! Why do you keep pulling away from me? Just tell me what's going on. I'll wait forever; I'll try for-fucking-ever, just tell me what it is."
Her eyes widened as she stared at me. My outburst had scared her and I felt the chill of remorse going up my back. I shouldn't have yelled but she was frustrating me to no end. I continued on in a softer voice to make amends.
"I just, I feel like everything is okay. We're doing so well and then something little happens, something minor and you fall apart. I'm not condemning you for it because I'm the same way. I just want to know what you want me to do. I want to help, I want to be there. Jesus, we never talk about our past. I want to talk about it. I want to know what the fuck happened to you. I want all of you, the good, the bad, the shitty days, the fighting, the PMS - all of it. Because I want to love you and I want to be with you. I want to know what is eating you up inside. Let me fix this. Let me make the hurt go away."
"Edward…there are some things…that I want to tell you but I just can't right now. I'm trying so hard to figure this out and when I do I'll let you know but right now, I just can't. It's something I have to deal with and when I do figure it out I'll tell you, just…don't push this from me."
I looked at her. I stared at her. I tried to see everything I could. Would she leave? Was she going to leave?
"You…you can't leave like that again, Bella. You can't just…leave like that. I can't handle that."
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
I wanted to go and hold her and say that fuck, if she left it was cool; I would deal with that. But I couldn't because I wouldn't be able to deal with it. I would die on the inside. I turned and walked out of the bedroom and into my office to sit down and just think about this shit.
Before Bella there was…plain, boring life. There was monotony and detailed structure. Wake up, train, eat, sleep, repeat. And now, there was color and laughter, and fuck there was love. I wanted to tell her I love her but not because I wanted her to stay. I didn't need to make it sound like I wanted to trap her here with me.
When I left my parents home over seven years ago I was angry, spiteful, and just plain pissed off at everyone. At my mother for re-marrying. At Carlisle for replacing my father. I was not a Cullen, I was a Masen. And fuck if I was going to just roll over and forget my father like that. I hated them both for it. Everything made me angry. Being poor, being hungry, being lost, being alone; it all pissed me off. Jasper gave me an outlet but it was still there. I didn't belong with my family and now, I have Bella. She's my family and I was losing her. I wasn't angry anymore. I wasn't looking for a way to expel all those frustrations anymore. Bella became my focus and my normalcy. Bella.
Bella…the sole of the issue here. She's hiding something, that's clear enough. While there is nothing she could say that would make me want her any less, it's beginning to wear me down. At first, I understood. She couldn't really trust me, so while I wanted to know, I wasn't going to push because I understood. Now, my patience is wearing thin and I'm getting annoyed, which of course pissed me off even more because I didn't want to be annoyed. I wanted to stay in the understanding area.
Fuuuuuuuuuck.
I leaned forward and cradled my head in my hands while taking deep, slow breaths.
I would need to think ahead. I would need to plan. I understood that if I was going to persuade Bella to stay with me I would need to offer her a stable life, a life where the chance of me becoming a vegetable in the hospital was no longer a worry.
Knowing that I could not be a fighter forever was not something that was new to me. I knew I would have to do something else with me life soon. I toyed with the idea of going back to school, getting a degree and working some nine to five job. I thought about all the things in life that had mattered to me at some point. Going to law school like my father, being a pianist like Esme wanted me to be. But my hands were no good for the ivory anymore and being a lawyer now seemed tedious. This world was all that I knew. Fighting, training, working my body until I wanted to just drop was all I was good at anymore.
I need to make a change; a change that started with making arrangements. I quickly tabulated all the money I had tied up in savings. I could possibly make it two to three years in school without needing to take out a loan, and I knew Bella only had one more semester to graduate. She'd told me she had to drop out because her financial-aid ran out and she couldn't afford another semester's tuition and fees. She could start again next fall while I wrapped up with The Ring, then I could figure out what I wanted to do; becoming a lawyer just didn't hold the same appeal to me that it once had.
It was shaping up to be a good plan. Now, I only needed to finagle her into letting me pay her tuition for her last semester.
Celebratory graduation sex is your ultimate goal.
I smirked, liking this plan and its goal. Bella bouncing on my lap while she wore nothing but that stupid cap on her head was firing me up.
Glancing at the clock on the desk, I realized I had been holed up in here for almost an hour. I needed to go back out there and do damage control but before I could even stand up the door cracked open and Bella peeked in the office.
"Can I come in?"
"Of course."
She pushed the door open and timidly walked in, setting a plate of breakfast in front of me and a glass of milk. I had flashbacks to the morning I first saw her.
"Come here, baby."
I pulled her into my lap and picked up my fork, eating with her cuddled up to me.
"Edward, I'm sorry. I want you to know that I want to talk to you about everything, but I just need some more time, you know?"
I knew. I understood how things could be complicated and from what I did know of Bella's past, she hadn't had more than six months to deal with whatever she was running from.
"When you're ready, I want you to come to me."
"I will."
The mood seemed lighter. I had her in my arms and things were going back to some semblance of normalcy.
"What do you want to do today?"
"Um, well here's the thing. I have to go out with Alice, she wants to go shopping with me and Rose."
"What for?"
"Um, I made her a deal. I would go shopping with her if she let me pick out the costumes."
I gulped. This sounded sickly familiar.
"Costumes?"
"Halloween costumes…for the party…at The Ring…that Emmett is throwing."
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
"Do I want to know this year's theme?"
"It's not so bad."
"You sound like Emmett last year."
She laughed, hopped off me and ran into the bedroom.
Fucking Halloween.
Bella might dress slutty.
Then again, the trick might be better than the treat this year.
**
October 31
I glanced down at my outfit one more time before looking back in the mirror and snagging my hat off the dresser. I was feeling pretty good in it. Twisting and turning, I looked at my reflection before putting on the fedora and cocking it to the side. Black slacks with off-white pin stripes, a black long sleeved oxford shirt with a white silk tie and white suspenders. I was lookin' fresh. The black fedora had a white ribbon around the crown and all together, I was feeling good about this year's Halloween theme when it came to my side of the get up.
Pimps and whores throughout the decades. Of course Emmett was the creator of that idea.
Bella chose our costumes and I had yet to see hers. She was still in the bathroom…primping, I guess.
I again glanced in the mirror and was impressed with the overall feel of the costume.
If this gives me any idea as to what Bella's going to be wearing, I'm in trouble.
I sighed and sat on the bed, waiting.
It's been four months and eleven days since Bella walked into my life. Or 11,491,200 seconds, 191,520 hours, 19 weeks, 133 days. However you wanted to say it. It's been a hell of a time.
Just over four months ago, I was a different man. I had different values and a different disposition towards life. I had a short fuse and a bland existence. Just over four months ago, I was someone I never wanted to be again.
Ever since Jasper's major fuckup and the argument that Bella and I had, things were looking up. Training was strained at first but after some heavy sparring with Jasper, a few dirty hits, and him basically letting me kick the shit out him, we got back into our normal groove of things.
Tonight was about having fun and forgetting our major problems. I got the go ahead from Jasper who said I could get wasted tonight if I felt like it, and I planned on getting both Bella and I sauced before coming home and having amazing drunk sex.
Don't judge me.
Emmett, in true Emmett-style, invited everyone he knew as well as extending an open invitation to the guys who frequented the gym. I had no doubt it would be packed in there tonight.
I glanced at the clock on the nightstand, musing over the theme of the night.
Pimps and whores.
Bella had pointedly refused to be a whore, so she claimed we were doing something a bit 'old-school'. My attention was grabbed when the bathroom door clicked open and then widened to reveal my torment for the night.
Holy. Fucking. Mother. Of. God.
Bella stepped out wearing a charcoal gray flapper dress. Stringy, fringe-y things were shaking everywhere and her hair was pulled up, resting at the nape of her neck and resembling some sort of bob. She had a matching sequined headband on, a long string of white pearls that wrapped around her neck like a choker and hung down to her waist and black shoes that looked dangerously tall. Black, silky stockings went up for miles until my eyes came to the hem of her dress and I swear to god I saw the clip of a garter belt when she shifted. She cleared her throat and I looked up at her face. Blood red lips and smokey eyes, her skin looked luminous.
"Um, wow. I uh…let's stay here tonight."
I smiled stupidly at her laughter.
I think it's a good idea.
"You look handsome."
"Bella, are you wearing garters?"
"I'm not telling, and you're not finding out until we get back home."
"Dammit. Fine. Aren't you supposed to be a whore?"
"I'm a nineteen twenties whore."
"Flapper girls weren't whores."
"They are tonight."
I called a cab and helped her into her coat. We left after I tried, unsuccessfully, to reach my hand up her skirt.
The Ring was just as I expected - loud, already packed, and a powder keg ready to explode. I did not relish being her for very long. I checked in our coats and made sure to keep a tight grip on her hand. Through the smoke and strobe lights, I saw there were people all over the place. Women dressed like…well, whores and far too many men with large hats and gold jewelry.
Tupac's All Eye's on Me was blaring out of several speakers set up around the annex.
"Eddie! Bells!"
Turning, we saw Emmett swaying with Rose by his side. He was holding court on the ring's platform where a DJ had set up stand. I laughed when I saw his costume. He wore tore up jeans and a wife beater with holes in it, fake money poking out of his pockets and heavy gold chains around his neck with dollar signs on them. As I got closer, I noticed that his wife beater had "My pimp hand be way strong!" written on it in Sharpie and a black beanie nuggly fit over his head. Rolling my eyes, I caught his hand in the universal man greeting and twirled Bella, showing her off.
"Bizzella! You are not dressed like a whore! I demand that you change into something worthy of a pimp's eyes. You will get no business dressed like a prude." He yelled while throwing candy at us.
"I'm a nineteen twenties whore, Emmett. This is as racy as we get…and don't call me Bizzella."
He scoffed but smiled at her. Rose looked around the crowd in slight agitation but she seemed to be having a pretty good time. I didn't know her very well and had hardly spoken a handful of words to her, but Bella seemed to tolerate her so I had nothing to say. She was dressed in a barely-there dark blue dress that hardly covered her ass or her tits. Her blonde hair spilling down her back and her makeup was over done.
"Alright, bizzles, we are all here now. The party can officially start up in my hizzouse!" Emmett's loud, boisterous voice echoed even through the bass pumping.
Rose rolled her eyes but smiled at him. She must like children.
Jasper sauntered up and kissed Bella on the cheek. I glared at him and noticed the brown slacks he was wearing with a plain white t-shirt and brown suspenders. He wore a matching fedora with a red feather.
"You look lovely, darlin'." He drawled.
I was still glaring at him and he smirked at me.
"Thank you, Jasper." She said but glared at Emmett.
Alice came prancing up, carrying two drinks. She was wearing bright red hot pants, a cut-off shirt and red platformed sandals. She and Jasper were channeling Taxi Driver apparently. She handed one of the drinks to Bella, who looked up at me with questioning eyes.
"It's cool; I'm drinking, too. We took a cab, remember?"
Suddenly the music switched and Shoulder Lean came on. Alice squealed and grabbed both Bella and Rose, towing them over to the dance floor. Bella laughed and I grinned at her as she tossed her hands up and danced with Alice while trying not to spill her drink.
Emmett flagged down a girl taking drink orders and got us rounds of vodka. We talked with random gym patrons and some of Emmett's investor buddies who were club hopping and decided to drop by.
"How much is this costing you?" I yelled at Emmett over the music.
"Did you see the way Rose was dressed? Like I give a shit but honestly, a pretty penny." He answered with a grin.
I kept cutting my eyes to Bella on the dance floor, making sure I had her in sight. I would check every time the song changed. By my seventh shot of vodka, she was grinding against Alice to Show Me What You Got. After their third glass of scotch, all three of them were huddled together laughing and dancing to Shwayze's Buzzin'. I watched her as Alice took her to the make shift bar and laughed quietly when she made a face after throwing back a shot. By the second glass of rum and coke, I looked around and couldn't see her at all. Fighting the panic, I craned my head around looking for her pale skin and coffee hair. When I finally caught a glimpse of her, my blood ran cold and my hand shot out to grip Emmett's arm. He stopped mid-sentence to question me.
"What the fuck are…"
But his eyes had found mine and shifted to what I was staring at.
I was going to kill him. I was going to fucking rip his god-damned hands off his body and shove them down his throat.
There was going to be a closed casket service for Jacob Black.
BPOV
I was feeling loopy. Alice had pumped me full of alcohol and I was having a fucking blast. We danced and we danced and we laughed and then danced some more. I couldn't dance for shit, but this seemed easy enough. You just moved your hips back and forth and tossed your hands in the air and you were fine. Alice and I had a good time making a show of ourselves. Rose was standoffish at first, but joined in eventually.
I couldn't remember the last time I had danced or even been to a party like this. Despite the over abundance of men in the place ogling me, I didn't have any issues. Something told me that had to do with Edward. I felt like wherever I walked in with him, I earned a wide berth. The fact that Alice and Rose were also here with me and had captured the attention of Emmett and Jasper, made us a triple threat to anyone who wanted to cop a feel. I didn't want to admit to my enthusiasm for rap but had a hard time when Rick Ross' Hustlin' came on. Alice sang along with me as we rapped out the lyrics with Rose laughing at us when we declared that we were, in fact, 'the fuckin' boss!'
We had our turn to laugh at her though when she sang along to the chorus of Jay-Z's Hard Knock Life. It was really fun being able to just let loose and act stupid with friends.
I felt another wave of alcohol and swayed against Rose who shot her hands up and steadied me.
"I think you might have had enough."
I nodded and she smiled kindly at me. I was really starting to like Rose. She wasn't so bad after all.
"I'm going to find Edward. I wanna kiss."
She laughed and shook her head.
"You do that."
I squared my shoulders and spun around to find him. I wanted to kiss dammit and I was going to.
The problem now was that after Alice had me running all around with her, I wasn't quite sure where I was in the Annex. It was dark and the strobe lights were confusing me.
Which way to the ring again? Fuck.
I scanned the room hoping for some sort of landmark that would tell me where I was, but that was a no go. I had one option and that was to just walk around until I either found Edward or knew where I was and had a point of reference.
Stumbling a bit on the ridiculous shoes I let Alice talk me into wearing, I finally made my way to the bar.
Okay, so from here, Edward should be…
Huffing in frustration I turned to the person next to me and tapped their shoulder.
"Umm, excuse me, can you tell me which way to the ring? I lost someone."
As soon as the words left my mouth and he turned around, I wanted to die.
It was James' trainer.
Fuck.
But instead of the normal flight instinct, I stupidly stood there just staring at him.
"Bella, right?"
I just nodded at him. The one night I decide to drink, shit would just have to happen. I said a silent prayer but the twisting in my gut told me I had just made a very bad mistake.
"You know what, never mind. I'm sorry, forget I said anything." I think I slurred.
I turned to escape but his hand gently tugged at my wrist and I stumbled backwards.
Stupid fucking shoes. Stupid fucking alcohol.
"Whoa! It seems like you might have had a little too much to drink."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious. Now let me go." My words were definitely slurred that time.
"Look, I'm sorry. I know you don't like me but I'd like to introduce myself and maybe make up for some of the shitty things James and King have done. I'm Jacob Black."
"Shitty? Shitty? Telling people that someone has herpes is shitty. Lying to your friends is shitty. Not leaving a tip at a restaurant is shitty. Beating a man and leaving him for dead is fucked up. Drugging the same man and then sending him in to fight with a sober guy, is just fucking wrong. Shitty? Fuck you."
He gaped at me for a moment before looking down. I had not forgotten that he still had my wrist in his hand.
"Let. Me. Gooooo."
"Just let me apologize. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. I never even knew that shit happened until it was already done."
"I don't care. You're friends with those assholes so technically, you're to blame too."
"I'm not friends with them. I train James and King pays me. That's it."
"Whatever, I don't really want to talk to you."
"Please, I just want to be friends."
I stared at him. Was he out of his mind? Friends, really? I shook my head and then yanked my hand but he wouldn't let go.
"This is getting really old now." Great, now I was whining.
He pressed his lips together and thought for a moment.
"Look, let me buy you a drink. That's all. Just one drink."
"No."
"Please, all I'm askin' for is a minute of your time."
I stared up into his eyes and sighed.
"Fine. One drink. Then I'm fucking gone."
He smiled brightly and turned to the bar tender, my wrist still in his hand.
"A sunrise for the lady!"
The bartender nodded and winked at me before starting in on the drink. I rolled my eyes and yanked on my hand again.
"Will you fucking let me go?"
"If I do will you promise not to bolt?"
"No."
"Then no, I won't let go. I just want a chance to explain myself. I don't like that you don't like me."
"Well, no amount of explaining is going to fix that."
"I didn't know what they were going to do. I have to keep this job. My dad's hospital bills are killing me. He had a stroke a few years ago and he's in a wheel chair now. I don't expect your sympathy but this pays well. It pays enough that I don't have to send my dad to some shitty home somewhere and I have good hours so I can be with him. Please, I had no idea what they were going to do or I would have stopped them, or warned Emmett."
I looked into his pleading eyes and believed him. I was never too trusting of people but he seemed genuinely upset about this and fuck, maybe it was the alcohol but I felt like being generous.
"Why are you still with King then?"
"I need the money. I won't get paid like this anywhere else. If it weren't for my dad, I would bag groceries. I don't give a shit about what I do. But he's my father."
I felt a pang in my chest for him. He didn't seem that old, maybe twenty three and it was sad that he had to take care of his father like that.
The booze are making you emotional.
"Alright, so say I believe you. So what? You're still James' trainer. You were still a dick to me at the fight."
"I'm sorry for that, too. I was with some of the other guys and I hate to say this but I act out around them."
"Fine. You've made you're apologies."
An uncomfortable silence floated around us as I tried to tug my wrist free again.
"You look nice."
"You look…why are you dressed like an Indian?"
"Ummm, well. Don't freak out. James is here. He decided to stop in last minute. I'm assuming he went to find your boy and Emmett. I have no control over him, I'm just his fucking lackey."
"Fuck. Let me go. I have to find Edward, he might get into a fight."
He shook his head and loosened his grip on my wrist but didn't let go.
"James is wasted. There is no way he would fight tonight. He's good at talking shit when he's drunk but he's not in any condition to be throwing a punch."
"So why are dressed like an Indian?"
He looked down and I could see the shame on his face.
"James made me. He thought it would be funny. Asshole's been calling me Tonto all fucking night. He's dressed like some Dynasty cowboy. I fucking hate this job and everything that goes along with it."
I felt shitty for him. He was made fun of and put down. How did he manage to train James when he was obviously the butt of jokes?
"I'm sorry they make fun of you."
He shook his head and grinned at me.
"Hey, I got to buy a pretty lady a drink tonight, so I can't complain."
His eyes twinkled again and he grinned at me. He looked so young. The bartender slid the drink down and Jacob went to hand it to me when it was knocked from his grip.
I was pulled back quickly and Jacob's hand tightened down on my wrist causing me to yank forward at the last second.
"Drop her hand, now."
Edward's gruff voice spoke over my head and I craned my neck to the side to peer up at him. He had shed his blazer but the fedora was still there. We would be having sex with that on later. I was still buzzed and seeing his angled jaw made my attention span dwindle down to seconds. As soon as my wrist was dropped, I slid my arms up around his neck.
"I found you! I was looking for you and I got lost. It's really dark in here! I found Jacob and now you found me!"
Edward looked down at me and his eyes softened up.
"How much have you had to drink?"
"Umm, I dunno? Alice wanted to do lots of shots 'cause Jasper does them and she wants to do them, too."
He rolled his eyes and I looked back at his jaw which was right in front of my face. I leaned forward and attached my lips to his throat, moaning at the saltiness of his skin. His arm tightened around my waist and his right hand came up to brace the back of my neck, holding me to him. I smiled and nipped at his skin as his fingers threaded into the hair at the base of my neck.
"Black."
I pulled away confused. What was black? I was sucking on his neck and he was reciting colors? He was grinning smugly at something over my head.
What the fuck? This is kissy time! Kissy time with ME...look at ME!
Emmett's hulking body edged up next to Edward and Alice, Rose, and Jasper materialized out of the throng of dancing bodies.
I felt dizzy when the strobe light began to pulse faster. This shit was turning into some kind of dream sequence and I was not liking it.
"Edward. I don't feel good."
He looked back down at me and released his grip on my neck to touch my cheek.
"You gonna be sick?"
"No, my head just…feels weird. My stomach feels fine."
He nodded. "Go with Rose and Alice. I need to talk to Black."
I stupidly looked back at Jacob and realized that he was the monochrome that Edward was speaking of.
"No. I wanna stay here. Hey! He said that James the cowboy was here."
"What?"
"James is the cowboy and he's Tonto."
Edward barked out a laugh and glanced up at Jacob who was rubbing his neck awkwardly. Emmett was peering around the crowd no doubt looking for James.
"Is King here as well?" Emmett asked.
"No, he isn't and he advised for James to stay away too but you know how he gets." Jacob answered. Edward pulled me into his side and stiffened. I looked up at his face. He looked mean.
"Give me a good reason why I shouldn't fuck you up for touching her."
"I was apologizing. I didn't mean to offend anyone."
"Bella, go with Alice."
"She's not a dog. You can't order her around." Jacob sneered.
"Bella, go with Alice, now."
I huffed and wrapped my arms around his waist.
"You said we were going to have a good time tonight. No fighting."
Whiny, Whiny, Whiny...
"She's right, Edward, it's not worth it." Jasper interjected.
I preened on his agreement and tried to shoot Edward a satisfied smirk except he was getting that splotchy, red and white, look again.
Quick…distract him!
So, in my drunken haze, which was getting thicker by the minute, I reached down and cupped Edward's dick in my hand. He jumped and his wide eyes looked down at me. I bit my lip and blushed but before I could get too upset about it Outkast's Hey Ya came on and I started to sing and jump next to Edward…with my hand…still on his dick.
You just…I didn't mean for you to…hahahahahaha.
"My baby don't mess around because she loves me so and this I know for shooo…! Uh! But does she really wanna but can't stand to see me walk out the dooor…! Don't try to fight the feelin' cause the thought alone is killing me right nooow…! Uh! Thank God for mom and dad for sticking two together cause we don't know hooow...!UH! Heeeeey Yaaaaa!"
"Bella, what are you doing?" He was definitely amused.
"Distracting you?"
Emmett laughed and Jasper snickered while Rose and Alice visibly cringed. So I'm not smooth, so what. He's not splotchy anymore.
"I think it's time to take you home, baby. Black, we'll have words about this later. Find your…uhh cowboy and leave."
Jacob winced and nodded, backing away but before he could blend into the crowd shouting began, freezing us all.
"TONTO! Where is my Tonto?!"
James came swaggering up next to us. He was swaying and laughing wildly.
"Tonto! There you are."
James was dressed in tight black jeans, black boots, a red shirt with white embroidery, and a black cowboy hat. He had on a fake holster belt with cap guns slung around his narrow hips. Grinning, he slung an arm around Jacob's shoulders and sloshed his beer.
"Stop calling me Tonto." Jacob sneered.
"Oh hell, get a sense of humor. You are the Tonto to my Clint Eastwood." James slurred.
"That makes absolutely no sense. Tonto was with The Lone Ranger, which was stupid because if he had Tonto, he was no longer alone." I could see Jacob loosing his patience. I still felt kinda bad for him.
I giggled at Jacob and Edward squeezed me tighter as Cupid's Chokehold came over the speakers. I swayed and sang the first verse to Edward who I could tell was trying not to laugh and ignore me.
They were all standing around just staring at each other. Emmett stepped forward to head off the confrontation. I leaned up and went back to sucking on Edward's neck. He smelled like liquor and limes.
"Alright, both of you need to leave, this is my party and you weren't invited."
James smirked at Emmett but it was quickly dropped when Jasper closed the distance and stood calmly beside him.
"I think it would be in your best interest to leave. Now."
I actually stopped my wandering eyes to look at Jasper. He really was scary calm.
Glancing back at Edward to gauge his reaction to the whole thing, I noticed a nice red hickey on his neck and had to laugh. Good thing everyone was ignoring me. Well everyone but Jacob. I turned and saw him looking at me with sad eyes.
"Black…you're pushing it."
Edward's voice pitched low and I got shivers from it.
"I wanna go home now, Edward."
I swear I tried for it to come out sounding sexy but I think I was leaning more toward whiny and annoying.
He looked over at Emmett who nodded in some kind of guy code and they all walked James and Jacob out the door. I trailed behind Edward who had my hand in an iron grip while Alice had my other hand and Rose had hers. We were a human train moving towards the exits. Edward grabbed our coats and began handing them out. He took the time to button me up and kissed my forehead before gripping me firmly to his side once again and ushering us out the door. Everyone else stayed behind and Alice made sure to let me know, very loudly, that she would tell me all about the rest of the night tomorrow.
I watched as Edward dialed for a cab, fascinated with his fingers as they cradled the phone to his ear.
"Edward…"
He looked at me with a raised eyebrow as he gave them the address.
"I wanna go home and sex you up."
His eyes widened and that stupid grin spread over his mouth.
"Okay."
"Okay? I just told you I wanna sex you up and all I get is an okay? Are you drunk?"
"I'm a little tipsy, yeah."
"Will you still be able to…perform?"
His eyebrows shot up and a frown graced his face.
"Bella, darling, I can perform shit faced and blacked out and just for that little comment, I'm going to exaggerate how well I can perform while intoxicated."
Scooooore.
I grinned and hopped up and down but stopped after a minute when my shoes pinched. A cab pulled up and Edward all but tossed me inside before giving the driver our destination. While unbuttoning the bottom of my coat, he leaned over to whisper in my ear.
"So, are you wearing garters?"
"Yes, but I'm not wearing any panties…"
"Extra fifty if you get us there in five minutes."
The cab jerked and we turned down a residential road before swinging back out onto the main. When we arrived at the apartment, Edward threw the cabbie a hundred and hauled me up the steps without looking back. I giggled and laughed as he punched the button on the elevator. Just as the doors slid shut, I was pressed against the cold metal and his lips were on my throat, his hands on my knees, sliding up and up and up…
"Jesus, you weren't lying."
I laughed and palmed his hard cock, stroking softly as I licked his ear.
"Mmmm, you taste so good."
"Fuck…"
I was airborne for a moment before I registered my legs wrapped around his waist and his hard-on grinding into my crotch. Edward grasped my neck and angled me so that he could kiss me. We were frantic and needy, pushing and pulling, yanking and grinding.
When the doors began to slide open he pulled me back and walked forward, down the hallway before pressing me against the door and fishing in his pocket for the keys. I assaulted his neck and yanked roughly on the silk tie, wanting more ground to cover.
The door swung open and we stumbled inside. Edward slammed the door shut and flicked the dead bolt before carrying me into the dark apartment and straight to the bedroom.
He dumped me onto the bed and began unbuttoning the rest of the coat before pushing it off my shoulders. I stood and gripped the edges of the dress and pulled it over my head, tossing it behind Edward's back.
I was glad for the alcohol induced flush or he would know I was blushing. The black and white lace bra I was wearing was extremely revealing. I felt the cold pearls against my chest and stomach as they slowly swayed and the cool air on my wet thighs. Reaching up, I yanked off the head band and then turned my attention to his clothing. I peeked up at his face and noticed that his eyes were glazed and trained on my breasts.
Once his jacket was peeled off and his tie was loosened, he snapped to and crushed me against him. I rubbed my breasts against his chest, desperately fumbling with the buttons needing to feel his skin against mine. He pulled away for a quick moment and grasped the edges of his shirt and yanked it open, thread ripping and buttons flying.
Damn, that was expensive too…oh well.
His fingers fisted around his belt and wrenched it free, yanking it hard out of the belt loops before discarding it. I sat on the bed and shimmied forward, making quick work of the button and fly, yanking his pants and boxers down with one movement. As he reached to pull off the hat, I grasped his wrist and shook my head.
"Leave it on, please..."
He smirked and pushed me back on the bed, crawling over me, kissing my shoulders and rubbing his hands up and down my sides. In a fluid movement, they slid under my back and my bra was sliding down my shoulders.
"Jesus, you're beautiful."
It was sweet and I really loved him for saying that but I was fucking horny…and just…throbbing for him. That hat was making me fucking impatient.
"I need you…right now." I panted.
He slid into me in one firm stroke and I arched my back, wrapping my legs around him, and moaning.
"Please…"
"Please what baby? Tell me."
"I'm…not playing…games tonight. Just fuck me."
Grunting, he grabbed my left leg and hitched it over his shoulder, stroking my stocking clad calf and pulling himself up on his knees. I watched him, that hat cocked to the side and tilted down; hiding his eyes from me. My mind was fuzzy and my eyes drooped so low I could barely see him. His face contorted when the angle changed and before I could encourage him to continue he began drilling into me. Thrust after thrust, harder and faster, my moans progressed to soft screams. Every time I felt him completely inside me, the resistance, and the heat, my breath would hitch and I could feel myself getting closer to coming.
"You…were…fucking…amazing….tonight." He punctuated every word with a thrust.
"So…goddamn…beautiful."
I groaned and reached forward for him, my leg sliding down his arm, my knee hooked at his elbow. I clutched him to me as my orgasm hit. I cried out his name and rocked my hips wanting to prolong the feeling.
I heard him mumbling something into my neck as he came inside me, the velvet edge of the fedora rubbing my ear.
"Fuck, that was amazing." He groaned.
"I believe you."
He laughed and pulled back to rest off his knees between my legs. Slowly, he pulled my shoes off and then my stockings, along with the garter belt before I knocked his hat off his head. After we were tucked into bed, and my body was draped over his, I felt his breathing even out and his hands stilled on my back before I grinned into his chest and closed my own eyes.
Tonight was good. I drank, got wasted, danced, and averted disaster, while still getting lucky. Everything was falling into place. Jasper and Edward were getting along, Rose was turning out to be a nice person, Alice and I were still cool and Edward was doing well in training.
So why did I feel like something horrible was about to happen?
AN:
Oooooooo. dun dun DUN....
Bella's women's intuition/spidey senses are going off...uh oh...
Okay, so first of all. I know this took a while to update. I'm sorry for that. But I made up for it in length (10k+) and content (you got a lemon...be happy for that, it wasn't planned).
NOTE: I AM DISABLING ANONYMOUS REVIEWS.
I got some pretty creepy anon reviews. so yeah, my apologies to those who reviewed anonymously and were kind and supportive, but the creepy outweighed the nice. If you're going to be weird...i wanna know who u are...
Also.
Don't PM me just to ask for updates. I understand, I do. But sending me a PM asking me why I haven't updated in "sooooooo" long and demanding an update "right this second" honestly just pisses me off. I can't just pull this shit out of my ass okay? I don't write chapters and then sit on them to make you squirm. I honestly post as soon as I get it back from my beta. Trust me, it's not like I can just whip out over 10K worth of words in an hour.
I enjoy writing. I don't like to rush myself because that just makes the chapter shitty. I put lots of thought and effort into every word.
alright I'm over that now.
So, mystery solved as to who finds Bella. Tons of you were pulling for Rose. I was surprised. Tons of you were thinking it was going to be Jacob, James, or King. I can see that...but wow. Everyone was so fucking worried. I almost felt bad for the cliffie and mind fuck AN from last chapter...almost.
Big question now. Is Bella a bad guy? And when is she gonna spill the beans about her past?
I'm going to address the "Tanto" thing. My beta says I should just let it go and stand by what I write, well I do, but this might save me time and the issue of having to respond to offended reviews. I stand behind writing it. It wasn't meant to be insulting toward's Native Americans...rather just make James look like a douche.
For those of you who don't know...Tanto was a character from The Lone Ranger which was originally a radio series in the 1930's...yeah go figure, which evolved into a television program and then later I believe there were comic books... perhaps you will recall "Hi ho Silver and Away!" yeah, that's what that's from. My dad loves westerns...hence...I know about them. Eh, I'm not too thrilled with them in general.
anyway, I really just wanted to use to a pop coulter reference. No offense was meant towards Native Americans.
Reviews...wow. I mean...you guys just...blindsided me with them. I had over 240 reviews...just for this one chapter. And here I was thinking that cliffies were pointless...Jesus...you guys just proved me wrong. Wow. thank you to everyone who reviewed. I started replying in the beginning but when I woke up and had like...120-ish reviews...only to keep climbing...I was overwhelmed. I did read them all and I appreciate every single one I get. I am terribly sorry if you didn't get a response but it was like wading further out into the sea and I'm sure you would all rather I worked on the chapter instead of responding to reviews anyway. I'm so fascinated with seeing how people react to this and how they think the plot will progress.
I want to thank anyone and everyone who rec'd this story. Thanks a billion!
If you love Fightward...and I think we all do...go check out this cute fic by jezzeria. It's called What In The Ward! It features popular -Wards from different fics. Here is the link...
http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5039868/1/What_in_the_Ward
so yeah, go check that shizzle out and drop her line letting her know you love Fightward. No, Fightward doesn't have an addiction to steroids...it's just fun.
I want to give a big wet kiss to all the girls who frequent the SB forum. Cheddah (my super fantastic amazing sweet bitch of a beta), Lucy, Dawn, Aspen, Saranic, Araeo, and Gavi...sigh I love you all for being so fucking supportive and excited when I tease you and mind fuck you. You take my shit and give it right back.
So, next update shouldn't be too long in the waiting...drama shall continue...
If you liked the chapter, hated it, semi wanted to fuck it...
Leave me some love...