CHAPTER – 20 - EPOV BPOVMasen VS. Hunter

"Burn It To The Ground"

Well it's midnight, damn right, we're wound up too tight
I've got a fist full of whiskey, the bottle just bit me
Oh
That shit makes me bat shit crazy
We've got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out

We're going off tonight
To kick out every light
Take anything we want
Drink everything in sight
We're going till the world stops turning
While we burn it to the ground tonight
Oh

We're screaming like demons, swinging from the ceiling
I got a fist full of fifties, tequila just hit me
Oh
We got no class, no taste, no shirt, and shit faced
We got it lined up, shot down, firing back straight crown

We're going off tonight
To kick out every light
Take anything we want
Drink everything in sight
We're going till the world stops turning
While we burn it to the ground tonight
Oh

Ticking like a time bomb, drinking till the nights gone
Well get you hands off of this glass, last call my ass
Well no chain, no lock, and this train won't stop
We got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out

We're going off tonight
To kick out every light
Take anything we want
Drink everything in sight
We're going till the world stops turning
While we burn it to the ground tonight
Oh
We're going off tonight
To kick out every light
Take anything we want
Drink everything in sight
We're going till the world stops turning
While we burn it to the ground tonight

-Nickelback

Ability is what you're capable of doing...
Motivation determines why you do it...
Attitude determines how well you do it.

-Lou Holtz

December 31st

EPOV

"You had sex last night, didn't you?" Jasper looked at me accusingly.

Shrugging, I stuffed more shit into my duffel and rolled my shoulders a few times before rotating my neck around, trying to decompress some of the tension that was escalating in my muscles. I was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. My sweatshirt and coat were thrown over the couch, and we were waiting for Bella to come out of the bedroom. Jasper leaned against the kitchen doorjamb in his worn khaki slacks and ratty white shirt; the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his suspenders fraying at his shoulders. It was what he always wore when he stood in my corner. I could even make out a patch of old, washed out blood on his right shoulder. A new coat was draped over his arm.

Emmett, on the other hand, was propped against the hallway wall with a smart black suit on and a dark blue tie. His hair looked stiff and shiny, and his dress shoes squeaked when he walked. Rose no doubt had helped him dress. Both were somber and I felt the tension rolling off them, saturating the room. It was nearing eight o'clock. There would be a small gathering of the big players before the fight. They would get wasted and possibly put more money down on the fight before sitting down to watch the gore. I, however, would be getting ready to take the win. I had to win. I would win.

I leaned against the back of the couch and thought about how this morning had not gone as well as I'd hoped it would.

I woke up about half an hour before the alarm went off. I knew Bella was awake already; her fingers were rubbing circles against my side. It tickled but I remained still, letting her do whatever she wanted to do.

Our whole world ended at the edges of the mattress. We were just us laying there tangled in each other. That is, until the alarm clock went off. It was like the room suddenly expanded and the rest of reality came crashing in with that sound. Neither of us moved to shut it off. Neither of us moved at all until the alarm went off on its own. I know from experience it takes that thing at least fifteen minutes to stop by itself. Once the screeching noise desisted, she jerked at the sudden silence and I locked my arms around her waist.

It was a reflexive move designed to combat the fear that if she got up, if she moved away from me, she wouldn't be back. Her face turned and her chin propped against my sternum as she gazed at me with bloodshot eyes. I traced the apple of her cheek and breathed in deeply, watching her body rise and fall with the movement.

"I love you."

A small smile formed on her mouth and she kissed the spot over my heart before resting her ear against it.

"I love you too."

Reluctantly, we both got out of bed and started our day. I went for my run and tried to clear my head in the frigid weather outside. My nose was running and my fingers were numb by the time I got back home. I stretched and showered before shutting myself up in the office.

Staring at the piles of papers across my desk, I tapped my fingers idly on the laptop keyboard and thumped pencils against the faux wood desktop. My feet tapped, my leg bounced my head buzzed with too many thoughts all at once. I heard Bella vacuuming and then the water in the kitchen running as she cleaned up.

I didn't feel like walking to Oz Park today. I didn't really hold the same promise of peace as it used to. It was also below freezing outside. Fuck that.

When I finally emerged from the office, I wandered into the bedroom and saw the bed was still unmade. Bella usually made it as soon as she got up. My hands jerked at my sides as I surveyed the sheets. If I closed my eyes I could imagine how they felt around our bodies as I sunk into her soft flesh. I could remember how it felt to collapse with her into the comforter.

"I made you a shake for breakfast."

I didn't startle when she spoke. My body was attuned to her now to the point that instead of jumping, it anticipated.

I nodded and followed her out of the bedroom. I tried not to acknowledge her slumped shoulders. I tried not to over think anything; it was much too late to back out now.

I finished half the shake and thanked her with a kiss before beginning to pack my bag for tonight. Jasper came over around three and we headed to the gym for a few hours. Bella declined to come along and I was partially glad. It was going to be hard enough for her to watch tonight happen without having to sit and listen to Jasper and I talk about it.

We went over strategies for an hour, sparred for two, and I did some reps and training exercises before hitting the showers. Jasper seemed overly confident, which made me feel a little better. He was nothing if not honest about his feelings.

When I came home the house smelled of cleaner and it looked uninhabited, spotless. I swallowed down my worry, and found Bella on the floor in the kitchen cleaning the tiles on her hands and knees. My stomach dropped and I felt sick watching her scrub ruthlessly. Her hands were white and red, splotched from the harsh Clorox and her shoulders flexed quickly from the rapid movements she was making. I bit my tongue when I caught her quiet sob. Not wanting to intrude, I backed out of the kitchen silently and stormed into the office. My breathing picked up as I looked around the small room.

I wasn't stupid enough to think she didn't know I was home yet. The awareness between us was strong and I knew she would be in here soon.

I rested my palms against the edge of my desk and took calming breaths before slamming my fists down and swiping all the papers on my desk off. They fluttered and spiraled in a flurry of white before settling in a mess on the floor.

Her head rested between my shoulder blades and I breathed in deeply. Small hands pressed against my lower back and slid around my waist; she held onto me tightly and my hands gripped hers of their own accord. They felt damp and soft.

"I can hear your heart beating."

I had nothing to say back to her. I just squeezed her wrists and turned around in the embrace to clutch her small body to my own. I rocked us from side to side soothingly. We were skirting.

I felt like I should have been saying goodbye now in case I couldn't tell her later. I wanted to tell her that I loved her more than anything I had ever loved before. I wanted to tell her that she was everything good and bright in my life. That she saved me when I didn't know I needed to be saved. That she was more than lust and skin and sex; it was life, and air, and happiness. I wanted to tell her that no matter what happened, I would love her and only her until I took my last breath. I wanted to feel her breath against my lips before I took it away with a kiss. I wanted to sink into her and hold her and love her and keep her safe with me forever. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay; that this was different than the time before. I wanted to kiss her and make love to her one more time before I had to go in there alone. I wanted to say fuck the fight, pack up our stuff and run away to the Cayman Islands until this whole thing blew over.

I wanted an ideal world but I was stuck with an imperfect one. The day before had been the calm before the storm. The day before we had made our peace with the path I was taking. I had to fight for what we had. For the first time in my life I was tired of fucking fighting. I didn't want to fight anymore. I just wanted to enjoy what I had.

But if I did these things, if I told her all the thoughts that were raging inside my chest, I would be admitting that there was a possibility I might not come out of this. I would be giving credibility to the idea that we might not have our happily ever after.

So I kissed her forehead and rubbed her neck. I held her close to me until our hearts were only separated by skin, and flesh and ribs. Then my watch beeped and told me it was six p.m. and it was time for us to get ready to leave in an hour.

She kissed my neck and my eyes shut tightly when she pulled away.

Jasper and Emmett arrived together only minutes after Bella had shut herself up to get ready. As I zipped up the duffel bag in front of me, the door to the bedroom opened and Bella came out wearing a faded gold dress that fell to her knees. The emerald ring sat on her left hand, glinting in the soft yellow lamp light. Her hair was pulled up in sleek knots at the back of her head and a rose was tucked into it. She wore red earrings and red shoes that I narrowed my eyes at, knowing I wouldn't be around to help her stay upright, they seemed dangerous. She was beautiful. A tan coat was draped over her arm and she took a deep breath before walking over and standing right in front of me. The red gloss on her lips had me transfixed for a moment and I licked my own, lost in a vision of sucking off all that gunk and tasting her.

Jasper cleared his throat and I looked over at him expectantly. He just shook his head and muttered something about sex before a fight and how it was distracting. I took Bella's coat and helped her into it before pulling on my sweatshirt and jacket. Slinging the duffel bag over my shoulder, I picked up the smaller one that Bella hand packed and wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her out the door. Emmett was bringing Alice and Rose with him, while Jasper drove Bella and me. I had to hand it to Rose; she had balls going to this thing knowing that King would be there. I couldn't imagine the look on his face when he saw her with Emmett.

The ride to the hotel was without incident and I looked at the building with apprehension. I couldn't imagine where they would find the space in this place to set up a ring, much less a viewing area. With trepidation, I helped Bella out of the back of Jasper's truck and into the lobby. The whole place was covered in plastic and the walls were stripped down to the drywall, the floor was smooth concrete. It looked like they were remodeling or renovating the place. Jasper led us down a hallway which looked to be going toward an employee area. He pushed open a metal door and we followed him down a flight of emergency stairs. The air was damp and frigid. After a maze of hallways we came to the basement area. The ceiling was surprisingly high and there were streamers half-heartedly hung around the cinder block walls. The ring that was set up in the center of the room could have been the same one from the previous fight. There were metal bleachers set up around three sides of the mat and the fourth side was three rows of metal folding chairs. Four to five tables off to the side were filled with finger foods and a bar was set up off to the right of it.

My stomach turned when I saw the people milling around in fine clothes, eating off small plastic plates and sipping drinks. Spectators to violence and brutality, they laughed and clinked their glasses together. No doubt they were goading each other on the bets they had placed. I was their entertainment and nothing more. I was a puppet to them; a play toy that could either cause them to win or lose money they couldn't care less about.

I willed down the disgust and tugged Bella along with me. We again followed Jasper to an area that had been set up in a darker corner of the room. There were totes and boxes piled up to the ceiling, and a few wall dividers set up to give me privacy to change with. I tossed the bags down onto a cheap plastic top table. The air was thick and chilled. My skin was getting clammy thinking about what I was about to do. Bella fidgeted beside me, thumping her gold purse against her thigh.

I stripped off my jacket and sweatshirt and sat down on the flimsy table, feeling it bow under my weight. One more hour until eleven o'clock, one more hour and I would be fighting for my future. It would end tonight.

Jasper stood beside me, his presence reminding me once more why I was here, what I was about to do. I nodded and stripped off my shirt. The cold hair hit my chest and I shivered.

As I went to unbuckle my belt, I watched Bella unzip the bag she had packed and pulled out a black shopping bag. She handed it to me at the same time that Jasper handed me my boxing shorts. I took the bag from her and looked inside with a blank expression. My hand pulled out a pair of red silk trunks that were much nicer than the ones I had. The inside fabric was a black mesh and a thick white stripe went down the outer sides. The waistband wasn't as thick as the one I had but this one had my name embroidered on the front in thick block letters. I looked at the black letters for a moment thinking about my father and my grandfather's words.

I am entrusting to you the Masen legacy. Keep it well. Be sure to guard our family name.

My fingers traced the letters before I toed off my shoes and dropped my pants, slipping on the shorts over my boxers. They felt a little stiff from never being worn but they fit perfectly. Jasper tossed my old trunks back into the other bag and grinned at us. He winked at Bella and I saw her eyes welling up in tears. I took her in my arms and held her, my hand gripping her neck and pressing her to me tightly.

"Thank you." I whispered.

She nodded silently and gave me a weak smile when she pulled away. She stood rigidly beside me as Jasper went over last minute tactics. I listened with care and took deep, measured breaths. My heart was racing and I felt jittery with nothing to do. It was hard for me to focus for a moment on what was happening. My stomach was in knots as I shook out my arms nervously.

Jasper taped up my hands and ankles as he kept up a steady stream of encouraging words. His face was calm and relaxed; he was confident and it helped to relax me a little. After the initial padding and white tape, a final layer of black covered my hands. I reached out and Bella's hand immediately found my stiff one. The tape didn't allow for much movement in my fingers but we held hands tightly anyway. Once that was done, Jasper pulled out the punch mitts and body protector. He slung on the heavily padded vest and held up his padded hands. I shook out my arms and nodded at him. He braced his legs and I set out a fast set of jabs and hooks. He fell back against the wall of boxes behind him and looked at me with his eyebrows raised. I helped him up and he let out a tight chuckle.

"Keep that shit up tonight and we won't have a problem."

I nodded again, having lost my words and stiffened my back before relaxing and dropping my chin to my chest.

There was a screeching sound as someone wrangled with a microphone near the ring. I looked over my shoulder and saw Bella standing nervously by a table. Emmett rounded the corner and glanced at the three of us.

"You've got five minutes. I'll be right out here."

Jasper grabbed his small box of things and followed Emmett out and I stood alone with Bella. She walked up to me and took the chain off my neck before setting it down in the bag on top of my old shorts. I looked down at it and swallowed thickly. With one last calming breath, I faced her. She looked resigned but not afraid.

"I love you. You'll win this and then you'll owe me for the rest of your life for scaring the shit out of me."

I barked out a harsh laugh and pulled her into my chest. Rocking us side to side, I whispered to her that I loved her.

"We'll walk out of here together." I swore.

"Promise me?"

I picked up her hand and kissed the ring on her finger.

"I promise."

She nodded and a few tears streaked down her face. Our eyes locked and I could feel the intensity of her stare. I knew what she was doing. She was trying to freeze the moment just like I was. She was making a memory and embedding it into her mind. I felt guilt bubbling up inside me and swallowed down the tears that were threatening to escape.

"Hey, it's ten forty-five, you're up." Emmett peeked around the corner.

I nodded at him curtly.

"Stay with Emmett, okay?"

She kissed me and I led us out of the small prep area. Emmett held out his arm for her and she took it gracefully. He began to lead her away and she looked back at me; a brilliant smile on her face.

"Edward! Fuck his shit up!"

I laughed lightly and my heart swelled.

God, I love her.

Jasper made a motion to follow and I held up a fist. I raced back to the bag where Bella had deposited my chain and slid the medallion off it. I tucked it into the waistband of my shorts and pressed my palm against it.

Jasper's colorful words hurried me back out and I noticed that more lights had been turned on around the mat. People were clamoring on the stands, and finely dressed women were propped on folded chairs. Their expressions bored as they sipped on champagne. Men in expensive suits were excitedly talking and pointing at the ring. I noticed King sitting front and center with a small girl on his arm. Her curly brown hair was massive and her yellow dress was garish with feathers covering every inch. She looked offended at her surroundings as King almost splashed his scotch on her.

Rose, Alice and Bella were seated on the bottom row of bleachers by my corner.

The announcer took his stage and a hush fell over the crowd. As he listed our weights, names, and stats, Jasper stuck my mouth piece in and checked over my tape once more before slapping me on the shoulder and wishing me luck. Two large digital boxes were set up on the far wall. One displayed the time and the other was a counter for the rounds.

The theatrics of this made me roll my eyes. How fucking dramatic to have the fight start at eleven and end at midnight.

I gave Bella one last look before turning to the ring and catching James' eye on the other side. We both slid into the ring and stood, facing off. I recalled the things he said about her and my neck tensed. I remembered the way Jacob had grabbed her in the annex. I thought about Bella sobbing in my arms as she told me about her life. I thought about my father as he silently took his death.

I was ready.

The bell dinged and I began to circle…

BPOV

It was happening. It was actually fucking happening. He was in that ring, he was standing right there and James was only a few feet in front of him. A man wearing jeans and a t-shirt was standing next to a large bell and before I could brace myself, a sharp trill sounded and Edward bounced into action. James looked much the same as he had the time before except this match he was wearing dark green trunks. His fists were raised to his face as the both of them circled each other.

A powerless feeling enveloped me. I was not allowed to rescue him. I could not pick him up this time and take him home. I could do nothing but watch my whole world ride the line of life and death. I took a deep breath and envisioned the church that Edward and I had been at yesterday. The peace, the calm was hard to find in the screaming voices, but I focused on Edward and his poised body and I prayed.

Lord, have mercy on him. Christ hear me.

Christ, graciously hear me.

There were fifteen rounds scheduled at three minutes a round and one minute intervals between the fighting. The whole fight would only take an hour, assuming neither of them managed a KO before time ran out.

My eyes flickered back and forth between them, and Alice's tiny hand clamped down on my left wrist as Rose slid closer to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I hadn't realized it before but I had let out a whimper when the bell rang.

God the Father of Heaven,

Have mercy on him.

A large digital clock was propped against a corner where the three minutes were being counted down. I saw the numbers turn from green to red out of the corner of my eyes and knew that we were at the half way mark. As the crowd began to boo from lack of action, I watched James' stance shift only slightly. Had I not watched Edward's sparring the past few months so intently I would never have caught it, but I did and so had Edward. In the span of a second his fist shot out and connected with James' face.

James stumbled but caught himself and spit out a mouthful of blood before bringing his fists back up and advancing on Edward.

God the Son, Redeemer of the world,

Have mercy on him.

As if his impatience was winning out, Edward made to strike again from the right but at the last moment feigned left and struck James once, twice, three times in the ribs. James bowled over and Edward pushed him into the ropes while bringing up his knee and kicking him in the stomach.

God the Holy Spirit,

Have mercy on him.

James grabbed Edward leg by the knee, hooking his arm around it and using it to keep his balance. Before Edward could push him off, James grabbed his leg with both hands and twisted, causing Edward to turn at an awkward angle and fall to the mat. I sucked in a breath but didn't cry out like I had wanted to. Every cell in my body yanked me forward towards him. Every molecule that I was composed of demanded that I protect him, yet I stayed seated. It was his fight.

Holy Trinity, One God,

Have mercy on him.

Edward rolled quickly and flipped himself up onto the balls of his feet just as James' fist flew out toward his face. At the last moment, Edward pivoted but not fast enough. James clipped his ear as Edward grabbed his arm and threw him down.

The canvas banged loudly and Edward shook his head, clearing it as James stood.

The bell rang again.

Holy Mary, Queen of Angels, pray for him.

Jasper had a stool down in the corner before the bell stopped chiming and Edward sank into it. Jasper checked his ankle and nodded his head when he concluded it was fine. Emmett had shed his suit jacket and had his shirt sleeves rolled up. He stood beside Edward and spoke quietly to him about something. Edward nodded, and both Jasper and Emmett cleared the mat before the bell rang again.

Saint Raphael, pray for him.

Saint Raphael, filled with the mercy of God…

Round two started much the same as round one had. They circled each other watching, waiting for an opening. James was the first to break and lashed out with a kick. Edward grabbed his ankle and yanked James off balance, pulling his leg past his torso and then landing an elbow into the side of his kneecap. James cried out and Edward pushed him back almost causing him to fall.

Saint Raphael, perfect adorer of the Divine Word,

Saint Raphael, terror of demons…

Edward pushed forward before James had his leverage and grasped his neck with his left hand, delivering a series of Sunday punches to his stomach. James, having no way to deflect, pushed back against Edward engaging him in a clinch, effectively cutting off any room in which Edward might have been able to hit him. Edward must have expected him to do so because while James was pushing him further, Edward side stepped causing James' weight to pitch forward. Before James' body had gotten a foot from Edward, Edward looped his arm around his neck and brought James' back flush against his chest. Before the crowd knew what was going on, Edward threw a hay-maker kidney punch. James gasped and his eyes went wide.

Saint Raphael, exterminator of vices,

Saint Raphael, health of the sick…

Edward looked demented as he threw James away from him and growled. My eyes stung and were screaming at me to blink but I couldn't miss anything. I couldn't miss something important happening.

Saint Raphael, our refuge in all our trials,

Saint Raphael, guide of travelers…

James doubled over and grasped the ropes for support as the bell dinged, signaling the end of the second round.

Once again Edward sat on his stool and Jasper slapped his back, grinning wildly. Emmett even had a small smile on his face, even if he did still look concerned.

Just before the bell could ring again and start the third round, Edward turned around and looked straight at me, laying a hand over his heart. My hands squeezed down, and I wondered when Rose and Alice had managed to thread their fingers in with mine.

"He's going to win." Alice whispered.

Saint Raphael, consoler of prisoners,

Saint Raphael, joy of the sorrowful…

The shouts and yells around us faded for a moment and I mouthed the words 'I love you' to him. He smiled and winked at me before turning again to regard James. As soon as he took a step away from his corner the bell rang and they were in motion.

Saint Raphael, filled with zeal for the salvation of souls,

Saint Raphael, whose name means God heals…

James bum rushed the mat and came at Edward with a vengeance. I saw Edward's arms come up at awkward angles and my knees jerked. Rose held me down from my automatic response to run to him.

They both went down to the canvas and Edward rolled quickly, coming to rest on top of James. They were a flurry of fists and legs, as each one kicked and drove punches. My heart beat so fast I thought I might have a heart attack. With one fluid motion, James rolled over onto his stomach and Edward straddled him punching his shoulders, his neck, his kidneys.

Saint Raphael, lover of chastity,

Saint Raphael, scourge of demons…

James bucked him off and scrambled to his feet just as the bell rang ending the round.

My eyes flickered over Edward and noticed the red welts blooming on his torso. His face was beginning to swell but there was no blood yet and I breathed out a little.

Once more they faced off and the bell rang. Unlike the first few rounds, they now rushed each other. James slammed Edward into a corner post and pinned his hips down with his knee. Edward reacted without intent and threw his forearms out in an attempt at blocking the blows. He wasn't fast enough…

With a crack, Edward's head whipped back and lolled to the side. A strangled cry escaped my lips. Alice and Rose squeezed my hands and huddled closer to me. I shook harshly as Edward was pressed against the post, James driving jabs and power punches into Edward's chest.

Saint Raphael, in pestilence, famine and war,

Saint Raphael, angel of peace and prosperity...

Jasper was screaming behind Edward, yelling directions at him and urging him to move. The crowd was so loud I couldn't make out his words, but I saw the look of panic on his face as he clutched a white towel in his hands. My insides twisted as I half prayed Edward would miraculously push James off him and fight back, the other half hoped Jasper would throw that fucking towel in and end all this.

With a movement so minute, so basic and unimportant, I smiled. Edward planted his feet flat on the mat and I knew he was plotting. How he could be thinking with all the movement above him was startling to imagine, but his arms were tensing and his leg was sliding up slowly. He was scheming a move that would surely give him the upper hand or get him out of his current spot.

I had watched enough to know him in the ring. I had memorized each reaction in his practice sessions, making me seem obsessive. My observations paid off when Edward's thigh came up and nailed James in the crotch at the same time he grabbed a fist full of James' trucks and threw him to the side. With terrifying speed, he hit James where his liver should be and dropped him to his knees. The bell rang and Edward stood up and made his way back to his corner where Jasper was still screaming at him in anger.

Saint Raphael, endowed with the grace of healing,

Saint Raphael, sure guide in the paths of virtue and sanctification…

Edward shook his head at something Emmett said and spit out his mouth piece to get a drink from his water bottle. I grimaced when he bent over to spit into a clear cup that Jasper held up to him. His saliva was bright red. When he shifted to the right I saw the profile of his nose; it was fucking broken. Edward squatted down and Jasper pulled himself up on the other side of the ropes, leveling himself in front of Edward as one arm looped around a cable. With a measured move I didn't see coming, Jasper's hand came up to Edward's face, Edward's eyes slipped shut and Jasper's fingers twitched over his nose. I didn't need to be close enough to hear the snap to know that he had just reset his nose. It still looked swollen and oddly set, but hopefully it wasn't as painful and he could at least breathe through it now. Jasper shoved the mouth piece back in and Edward turned to go at it once more.

The fifth round gave way to the sixth, and by the tenth round they were both bleeding and bruises were beginning to show. James looked feral and Edward looked possessed. They were both going to kill each other before this was over.

Saint Raphael, help of all those who implore your assistance,

Saint Raphael, who was the guide and consolation of Tobias on his journey…

When the bell rang and started the tenth round things were getting ugly. King was now up and about the ring, yelling things at Jacob and James. From the end of the eighth round to the beginning of the tenth, King screamed at James to end the fight before the fifteenth round.

Edward and James were circling now, looking for the best available points at which to strike. They were tiring out and the fight was going to end soon one way or another.

Saint Raphael, whom the Scriptures praise: Raphael, the holy angel of the Lord, was sent to cure,

Saint Raphael, our advocate…

The eleventh round began and Edward was the first to swing. He dropped James to the mat with a cross that had me wincing. How were his hands not fucking broken from all the punching? How was he still able to do all this? It seemed like a lifetime had passed in a matter of forty minutes.

Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,

Spare him, O Lord.

While James was down on the mat, Edward fell over him hard, straddling his waist and hitting him wildly. He showed no finess, no rhyme or reason to his hits. He was losing control. James brought his arms up trying to protect his face and neck. When Edward pulled back to deliver another brawler, James' arms shot up and pushed Edward's chest in an attempt at dismounting him. Edward moved back some but his legs were hooked around James' torso so they both rocked forward. Before another move could be made, Edward dropped his chin and rammed the crown of his head into James' face. With a resounding thwack, a spray of blood shot out coating Edward's hair and James flopped back down on the mat. Edward stood and backed away, his breathing harsh and his eyes wild.

Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,

Graciously hear me, O Lord.

King and Jacob froze for a fraction of a second before they both began yelling at him to get up. Edward grabbed James by his arms and hoisted him up to his feet, then pitched him back so that he fell against the ropes. He sagged and leaned against them, a bloodied fist holding the spot between his eyes that had just been nailed. When he dropped his hand, I could see the skin on his nose had split open and was bleeding freely down his face.

Jacob had a white towel in his hand and brought it back behind his head. My heart jumped up into my throat and I held my breath. Throw it in, just throw it in and stop it all. Do it. Throw it.

Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,

Have mercy on him.

Christ, hear me.

Christ, graciously hear me.

But King had better reflexes than I had imagined. He yanked the towel out of Jacob's hand before he could even begin to bring it forward. Yelling angrily and manically, he threw the towel back into the stands.

I watched then as Edward stalked toward James. His back and shoulders tensed up; his form leonine as he lowered his head to regard his prey. I could only assume at this point his body was existing off of adrenaline, otherwise the pain would have been too much to handle.

Too many seconds went by and the bell rang again. Edward slowly backed away just as Jacob slid into the ring and pushed James down onto his stool.

Jasper was jumping around like a rabbit on crack when Edward retreated to his corner. He was waving his arms around and explaining a move to Edward, demonstrating the combination he wanted him to use. Edward snatched a wet rag from Jasper's hands and wiped down his shoulders and neck, scrubbing his face lightly and running it over his hair. Emmett was pacing behind them, watching King's behavior on the other side of the room. Tension was mounting. The fight was winding down. There were only four more rounds left and then what? Could I be naïve enough to think that even if Edward won, there would still not be any repercussions? I had no time to think. I had no time to order my thoughts.

The bell was going off again and James seemed to have come to his senses during his minute reprieve. White butterfly bandages were patched around the bridge of his nose but the bleeding was still bad. His face was a swirl of flesh and blood smear. His hair was slicked down with sweat and rusty streaks were matted around his forehead.

For a brief moment they both stood still, regarding one another from opposite ends of the mat and if you ignored the difference in their skin tone or their hair color, they were about the same in build; both strong, both proud, both fighting for something. They were brothers in arms, even if they were battling each other; they were bonded through their experience. There was a lingering respect there for each other. They knew the pain, they lived it, and they survived.

Their momentary study of one other ended quickly. James moved a second before Edward did. With a confusing flurry of arms and legs, they were both punching and kicking. Edward threw his leg up and out, his knee coming up to hit James in the chin at the same moment James brought his arm up and his elbow down, connecting with the soft spot between Edward's neck and shoulder. Each of them fell back and rebalanced before circling.

The crowd had gone wild a few rounds back and there was no order about them. Yellow slips of paper were being waved around as they shouted profanities; a small sea of angry, greedy people who had everything and nothing resting on the outcome of this fight. They looked angry, worried, afraid, excited. They were a mob out for blood. They were like a living organism in their entirety; all in motion.

Rose was saying something to me, close enough that I should have been able to understand her but my eyes were fixed on the two men trapped in that ring. My whole world was at stake in there and I couldn't afford to miss a fucking thing. If something when wrong, if he didn't make it, I wanted to know. I wanted to know what had happened. I never wanted to look back on today and feel the guilt of not being there for him.

Like his parents who came to every karate class…he needed his family here to be proud of him.

I lost track for a moment and my mind fuzzed. I became hysterical that I couldn't remember what round we were on.

"Which one is it? Is it the twelfth now or the thirteenth? Which one?!"

Alice was making soothing noises as Rose kept repeating, "The twelfth honey, it's the twelfth, just three more, three more and it's all over. Just wait, he's going to win. Just wait."

I nodded and frantically looked over Edward as he slouched over the stool in his corner. He was tired. He was beginning to lose focus. He wasn't okay to do this anymore. I needed to get him out of there. As if sensing my distress and my intent, both women increased their hold on my hands and practically squished me between them.

"I have to get to him…I have to…he's not okay anymore. This has to stop. He has to stop. We have to get him out of there…he's going to…"

"He's going to be fine. Edward is going to be fine. Jasper would pull him out if he thought he couldn't handle it. You know that. Jasper would never let anything bad happen to him." Alice cooed.

My fear was blinding me and I lashed out at Alice.

"Well he sure as shit didn't fucking protect him the last fight now did he?" I sneered.

Alice, ever patient and understanding just squeezed my hand and turned back to the ring.

I swallowed my guilty feelings and turned as well, my eyes finding Edward's back immediately. Just as he stood and Emmett pulled the stool out from under him, the bell tolled again and this time both fighters were noticeably slower. Covered in sweat and blood, they tiredly circled and watched with weary eyes, anticipating the next move.

James lost his patience first and came forward to deliver a strike. His exhaustion was evident when Edward easily dodged the move and threw a combo into James' back and side.

A few seconds later and James was landing a kick to the side of Edward's head. I whimpered when he hit the mat and groaned. A pressured shriek was building in my lungs when James advanced on him. He pounced and straddled Edward but before he could land a single hit, he was bucked back and thrown to his side. Edward grabbed his ankle and drove a knee into his hip, pinning him down with one leg as his fist came back and sucker punched him. The loud bang of James' head hitting the canvas sounded like a light tap in the cacophony of screaming voices and stomping feet on the aluminum bleachers. The bell rang and it was over.

Round thirteen was nothing but tired circling, round fourteen was three minutes of clinching. When round fifteen started the room got quiet. Only a dull thrumming of hushed voices and the occasional groan or creak of metal grinding could be heard.

Jasper's face was white and solemn. King was the loudest person in the room, he was still yelling at James angrily, ordering him to end this fight and not make him out to be a fool.

Edward's head was bowed as he sat on his stool, his fist grasping at his waistband. My eyes scrunched up and I tried to see what he was doing. He seemed to be rubbing the material…or his hip? Was he hurt badly?

The sound of the bell made me jump and caught myself from retching. Alice's knees were bouncing nervously to my left and Rose's grip on my forearm was almost painful. Her nails dug into my skin and her fingers shook in my hand.

Edward stood slowly, rising up to his full height and bounced a few times, shaking his hands out, his wrists lax and his head twisting from side to side in order to alleviate the coiling of his muscles. With a resound nod of his head toward James, he brought his fists up close to his chest and didn't move. He was done circling, he was going to let James come to him.

I didn't move. I didn't blink or breathe or think. My skin was cold and clammy as I just watched and prayed. I prayed for tomorrow, I prayed for forever. I prayed and begged and pleaded and bargained and hoped. I put all of myself on those three fucking minutes and I waited.

Pray for him, Saint Raphael, to the Lord Our God,

That we may be made worthy of the promises of-

It didn't take three minutes. It didn't take two or even one I think. James took one step forward and Edward met him half way, a fist flew out, a leg went up, a torso turned and before the crowd could see the final blow coming, Edward turned his body to James' back and threw a rabbit punch to the back of his neck that dropped him to the ground. James didn't get up. He didn't move, only the faint rise and fall of his back was testament to his life. Jacob rushed the mat, towel in hand and it was all over.

Jasper and Emmett were beside Edward in a flash, arms slung around his waist, holding him up.

It was over. He was still standing and it was all over.

The stands erupted into shouts of anger and joy. King stood silent and pale his gaze fixed on Jacob turning James' limp body over. The room thinned out quickly, people leaving to get their winnings, others leaving with nothing. James was being pulled off the canvas gingerly and Edward was helped down the side.

I stood quickly, wobbling on the stupid heels I had worn and kicked them off, stumbling as Alice protested, yammering about the filthy state of the concrete floor. I didn't hear her. I flew off the bleachers only just barely making it without tripping and breaking my neck.

He was there, he was standing, he was coherent and alive and breathing and solid and whole and he was everything that I never thought I needed or wanted. He was broken and perfect and coarse and kind. He was everything in my entire world and he did it. He won, he came out of there alive and he was staring at me now. Jasper was asking him questions, Emmett was congratulating him but he was looking at me. I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I could feel the violent tremors running through my body but all that mattered was the pair of glassy green eyes that sparkled at me in the garish florescent lighting. A small group of well dressed men sauntered over and began to clap him on the back and while they obstructed our view of each other, Edward never moved. His gaze was fixed on me and when the men showed no sign of leaving him alone, he pushed past them roughly.

I was in motion as soon as I saw him come into focus and rushed forward to feel him. To have that physical proof that he was in fact alive, breathing and okay.

I stopped a foot in front of him, afraid to touch him now. Afraid to hurt him or cause him pain. Afraid he wasn't real and I had hallucinated this whole thing. That I had never found him in the locker room. That I had never made love to this man. That he had not just won but was in fact lying dead and I had lost my mind. That this might not be real. I was afraid. But Edward…Edward showed no fear or hesitancy when his arms came around me and squeezed me to his hot and slick body. My skin and dress clung to his sweaty flesh as I hugged him back fiercely.

"I promised." His voice was gravely and hoarse.

I broke.

I sobbed, clutching at him.

"Never again, Edward. Never fucking again."

He shushed me and rocked us back and forth murmuring 'never again' over and over.

Jasper came up behind us and draped a large blue towel over the both of us, ushering us out of the dank basement that had become muggy with the mass of bodies and activity. The lights were too bright now, the atmosphere too stifling. Edward dressed back into his jeans and sweatshirts, his body slow and aching. We never gravitated farther than an arm away.

As soon as his last shoe was on, he was tucking me back into his side and we all made our way out. Edward would need to be checked at the hospital. He would need x-rays and a physical to determine if there was any internal damage.

I knew he felt remorse for doing what he did. I could see the guilt in his eyes for going through with it. Despite that, a cocky smirk was in place. Even through the grimacing and wincing, he was still proud of himself for winning.

As we got into the car, I kissed him sweetly and whispered to him.

"I am so proud of you."

His smile was blinding.

Jasper's truck rumbled to life and we were on our way to Lincoln Park Hospital.

Jasper pulled into a spot next to Emmett's Jeep. Emmett stood with Rose in the parking lot, ready to help Edward into the building.

"Happy New Year's guys." He spoke quietly, so out of character and almost reverently.

It was all over now. We'd go home, he would heal, and we would never do this again.

It was over and we could finally start.

By the prayer of the Archangel Raphael, grant us the grace to avoid all sin and to persevere in every good work until we reach our heavenly destination.

Amen.


AN:

Faith people, have a little faith.

Okay, so we have an epilogue left. The epi will be split into two chapters because it's going to be kinda long.

I wanna say thank you to Cheddah. I should thank her for betaing, editing, and polishing SB for me but that wouldn't be enough.

Thank you for encouraging me to finish this, for talking me through all the bad reviews, PM's and RL bullshit. Thank you for being a true friend and bothering to care about all that you do. Thank you for being a friend.

Thank you's go out to LucyLu, Dawn of the Dead, Gavi and all the other wonder women at the T'd boards. Thank you all for all being there from the beginning. You've all been such great friends and supporters.

Please go read Dawn's example entry (Slaughter the Lamb) for the Darkward contest. Link is on my profile. Also, go check out the contest and write us a delicious one-shot.

My new fic Safecracker is up and chapter two should be posted later on tonight.

Now,

Leave Me Some Love…