Shizuka
Azami was watchful as I joined Nobu in the interview room, her knuckles white as she gripped the table. Under her breath, she murmured something, and for a moment I thought that she had perhaps slipped back to the state she had been before, until I heard 'One, the soda' , glanced over to the empty can, and realised what it was she was doing. She blinked, took in a deep breath and let go of the table, folding her hands in her lap the way I did sometimes when resisting the urge to tap against whatever surface I was sitting at. Then, she gazed right at me, calm and direct.
"Am I in trouble?"
"What would you be in trouble for?" I asked as Nobu re-started the recording.
"For telling. Or not telling."
"Why would you be in trouble for telling?"
At this, Azami pursed her lips stubbornly. Rather than press straight on, I decided to give it a couple of extra seconds. And sure enough, Azami gave a small sigh and said.
"I didn't know, anyway." She asked.
"What didn't you know?" Nobu asked gently.
"That it was Moeka-chan."
"You weren't aware who killed your sister?" I asked, sharply.
Azami's gaze skittered over to me, and I noticed that there were tears caught on her eyelashes, though she gave no indication that she noticed them. Instead, she shook her head slightly.
"I wasn't there when they found out."
"You weren't where?"
"There, back there." Azami's hands fluttered, and she made a vague gesture before putting her hands back in her lap again.
"In Shirohata?" I clarified.
Azami simply nodded.
"So," Nobu enquired. "You're saying that the others knew who had killed your sister before you did?"
"Mhm."
"They did not tell you before?" I asked. "Then again, I suppose you wouldn't have been able to absorb the information back then."
"And then we didn't talk to each other, weren't going to see each other again, until now."
And that in itself was another curiosity-why, after everything, had they not been in touch with each other? I would have imagined that after everything they would have tried to find comfort and support in each other.
Out of the building, the teenagers stumbled and paused, and looked up at the sky. Instinctively, Ayuna took off her jacket and threw it at the others-it was Friede grabbed it and put it over her head as a makeshift cover and looked over gratefully at her. Then, Eikichi steadied Takaaki as he threw his head back and stretched his arms out, though he looked irritated as he did so. Sadie let go of Azami's wrist but looked closely at the girl, who was now rapidly blinking. She looked up at the sky, though it wasn't clear if she was seeing it. I motioned to the officers to come forward with umbrellas, while keeping a careful eye on them
"It's…raining?"
Azami's voice sounded cracked and thick with something akin to sleepiness, nothing like the cheery tone I'd heard in recordings and videos. But almost instantly, Sadie jumped, looking eagerly at Azami.
"Yes, Azami-chan, it is raining."
Eizo, who had been blinking rapidly, mouth twisted in confusion, turned unsteadily.
"Azami?" he asked in an awed whisper.
Azami looked back down again, at the others, who had now all turned to watch her. There seemed to be a light in her eye as she swept her gaze over all of them, and then back again, and then back again, each friend's face seeming to light up whenever she was focused on them. But then, just like that, the shutters seemed to draw back across her face. Sadie sighed, and Eizo's face crumpled, while everyone else's faces were somewhere in between.
"Akari?" she asked. "Akari…."
Her voice lowered, and whatever she continued to mumble became unintelligible. Now, she was looking right at me, but I could tell she wasn't seeing me. She started to shiver uncontrollably, swaying slightly, and as Sadie and Friede both went to her, wrapping their arms around her I snapped back into action and beckoned a uniformed officer.
"Officer Matsu, can you escort them to the helicopter?"
"Of course, of course."
Gabe, all eager passion, who had practically bent double to beg me to allow him to come on this rescue mission, sprung forward, pressing an open umbrella into the hands of Eikichi, Ayuna and Sadie, who all used theirs to shelter another almost immediately-Sadie with Azami and Friede; Eikichi with Eizo; Ayuna with Takaaki. Gabe blinked and looked at the four spare umbrellas he hadn't had a chance to hand out, then shrugged and gave them a big grin.
"Come, come, we've got warm drinks in the helicopter, and though we didn't think to bring towels we do have blankets so you can dry up a little bit before we get to the hospital."
"We're going in a helicopter?" Eikichi asked.
"Sure, it's a lot quicker, and it's very cool! Trust me, you'll love it! Have any of you ever been in a helicopter?"
And so he went on as he led them away. I watched for a moment, and then turned to head back into the building of Shirohata High, to find where the other students had been kept.
On an impulse, I decided to pursue that curiosity:
"Why?"
Azami's eyes flared almost instantly, and she froze. Nobu cleared his throat and met my eye. I looked over to see a scribbled note on his notebook: we can focus on that another time. I nodded then looked back to Azami.
"Why are you so sure that you were told the truth, this time?"
Azami's fear morphed into a quizzical frown, and she tilted her head slightly.
"There's no reason for it to be a lie….why would it be a lie anyway?"
"Perhaps not a lie, necessarily," Nobu said unexpectedly before I could ask another question. "But perhaps he could have been mistaken? After all, what I have gleaned is that you didn't actually see any of the deaths directly occur, only seeing their bodies afterwards, is that right?"
There was a pause this time, and Azami's mouth opened slightly before closing again. But then, carefully, she nodded.
"Yeah."
"So then , perhaps he sincerely believed it, but he got the wrong impression somehow? How can you be sure that's not what happened?"
"Eizo wouldn't lie about that-there wouldn't be any point."
"Why wouldn't there have been any point?" I asked.
"Because if they'd been wrong, we wouldn't be here now."
"I know that Eizo didn't do anything. None of us did! I know it. I might not have been present enough, but I know it."
Since I had not been angling towards suggesting the survivors were suspicious, this took me by surprise for a moment. But of course, that had once been a possibility to be explored, and if the evidence did point that way, we would explore that possibility again.
But….she was saying, I know. What made her so sure?
"How do you know?" I asked her.
Azami was still rocking, her eyes looking far away. But she looked directly at me, face resolute, as she answered.
"Because we wouldn't be here now if we had. "
She had the same determination that she had when she'd made that statement in the hospital-we wouldn't be here now if we had. She was saying that she wouldn't be alive now if they had not known that Moeka had killed Akari, and that if any of them had killed any other that they wouldn't be alive now. It was not a big leap in logic to assume that the two of those were connected. Perhaps this had something to do with Kenichi's theory, still sitting in my inbox, flagged so I could look at later but as of yet untouched? It seemed outlandish, ridiculous, so far down the list of possibilities it didn't seem worth considering. Yet, knowing Kenichi as I did, and paired with these statements from Azami that seemed to fit, it really seemed like it could be.
I needed to be sure, though.
"How do you know that would have been the case?" I asked.
Azami opened her mouth to answer, but just as she did there was a knock on the door, and then it opened without waiting for a response. Gabe poked his head around the door and looked apologetic.
"I'm really sorry, Superintendent, one of the officers mentioned that you would be here, but something urgent has come up. Would you be able to come out for a minute?"
"Yes, of course. Detective Kurosawa, can you pause the interview for a moment?"
"Sure thing, we will just chat, right?"
Azami nodded warily at this, and I got up and left the room with Gabe.
…
"We've found something that might link the Class 78-B case to the Kagohara case." Gabe said almost immediately.
The Kagohara case, I knew, was the loose name for the case the Juvenile Crimes department was running with Sex Crimes, though I couldn't recall why. No doubt, it would come back to me. Either way though, it was clear that becoming larger-scale than had been expected.
"How so?" I asked.
"So, some of the clips date back to five, ten, even fifteen and twenty years ago thereabouts, so we borrowed a couple of uniforms and a cold case colleague-don't worry, if Nobu-san wants them back then they'll go back-but anyway, they're trying to match the faces in the videos with the kids from those cases. A few have pinged as being from some murder cases, too…."
Gabe paused slightly, and I frowned at him. I had a feeling I knew what it was he was going to say, but I needed to hear him say it.
"And?" I asked.
"Some of them are the kids from 78-B," he said. "Their faces were some of the first put in the digital system and they weren't taken out when they were found, and they pinged up almost straightaway when we were looking at some of these clips."
"We'll have to fix that, too," I said almost immediately. "But are you sure it is them? There was no sexual assault reported as part of their captivity."
"No, no, nothing that was directly inflicted, it's more like voyeurism." Gabe replied.
Voyeurism? Truthfully, that wasn't what I had been expecting, though I knew some of the Kagohara suspects were of the variety who had put cameras into changing rooms and bathrooms. Bathrooms. Wait a minute…
"Alright, we'll get them to send Amai-san and Kishinami-san home for now and then we'll come over. It will probably be best that all three of them are there as well."
"Got it!" Gabe said.
I nodded once at him, and then turned to go back into the interview room. Almost as soon as I did, both Nobu and Azami looked up at me, the latter incredibly fearful. Once again, I felt just that little bit guilty. It was definitely a lot easier to justify pushing someone who was more than likely guilty, or at least a witness who was neutral. With victims, everything was thornier, and yet it was necessary. In some ways, more necessary. After all, when it came down to it, that was who it was all for.
Still, even with saying that, I knew that this time around we'd been reaching the limit of what we could learn. Gabe's interruption had come at an almost perfect time, in that way, though I had wanted to see if I could manage to glean anything else before hitting that limit.
"You're free to go for now, Kishinami-san, but please keep in mind that we may need to call you back in for further questions."
"Eizo, too?" she asked tremulously.
"Yes, both of you will get to go home."
Azami let out a long breath, and then looked down at her hands for a moment before looking back up and nodding. I then left her to get herself together, and went down to where Eizo was being interrogated by Juro and Evalynn, and called Juro out.
"There's been a development that we need to look into," I told him. "Send Amai-san home with Kishinami-san for now, and then we'll need to go down to where they're investigating the Kagohara case."
"There's a link between this and the Kagohara case?" Juro asked, going pale.
"Apparently so."
"But that is…Mai."
Ah, of course. How could I have forgotten to think of that? Quickly, I mentally ran through what else needed to be done.
"Right, if you see those two out, and then follow up on the manufacturing of the Electro-IDs and check where we are with re-interviewing witnesses. Check if in particular there's anything we need to follow up on. If you're needed, we'll come and get you."
Juro nodded, and then left to do that, while I went with Gabe, Evalynn and Nobu to where the main investigative work for the Kagohara case was occurring. Almost everyone was sitting at a computer, and looking at one screen, I saw a collection of screenshots focusing on the face of two little, terrified boys on one half of a screen, while the missing persons database ran in the other half, looking for potential matches. Over on the other side, a tech was updating the digital screen with new information. She looked over, and then crossed the room.
"Superintendent, Detectives." She greeted us. "Were you wanting an update on our progress?"
"We're only here for the Class 78-B information, so continue as you are for now," I said. "But if at the end of the day you could have a general progress report for me, that would be good."
"Got it, got it," She nodded. "I think we might need to be working with other city's forces soon, because there are a few faces and places that correspond with cases over in Fune and Maru."
Ah, of course, the Kagohara warehouse where the first set of arrests were made, right on the boundary between Fune City and Towa City.
"Anyway, Aichi-kun and Mashiro-kun are looking through those ones, over there-Hey, Mashiro-kun, Aichi-kun!" she called.
She pointed to a computer in the corner, where there were actually three techs-two males, one female. The two males looked up and nodded at us.
"Right this way, Detectives-and Superintendent, of course." The elder one said. "Thanks, Uchida."
The female tech who had been at the board went up there, and we went over to that corner.
"Hey Detective Matsu, we've managed to get matches for both sets of twins now, so far." the younger tech said cheerily.
"Oh, that's good!" Gabe said breezily. "That takes us about halfway now, doesn't it?"
"Who have you managed to identify so far?" I asked briskly.
"Well, it actually pulled up Detective Arisato's wife first, though it wasn't the first set of videos. They were in a folder labelled 'Off-Cuts-2019 GOD', and there were quite a lot of them, so we started randomly." Aichi said. "So we've sort of been sampling different points of a few videos, and yeah, so far we've clearly recognised both sets of twins, the Fujimoto siblings, Friede Benbow, Teiichi Kazama, Seiko Yamamoto, Lilian Lao and Rin Hatakawayama. That's right, isn't it, Aichi-kun?"
"Yeah, yeah." The younger tech replied.
"They all appear to be in their bedrooms or in the showers, from what we can see, though there have been a couple in the communal toilets, " Gabe paused to pull a face at this and then continued on. "A couple of times, they've looked directly up at the camera, or they've tried to shield themselves from it."
"Can you show me?" I asked.
"Ah, yes, give me a moment." Mashiro, the elder one, said.
He clicked a few more times and bought up a video, and skipped to it somewhere halfway before pressing play. First, it showed what looked like an abrupt transition from one scene to another, because where it showed Friede climbing into bed, all of a sudden it showed Seiko Yamamoto pulling the sheets off of her bed, and then wrapping them around herself despite still being fully clothed, and then attempting to change while wrapped up. When she dropped the sheet while struggling with shirt buttons, Mashiro paused the video and then minimised it.
"They're all along those lines, then?" I asked after a moment.
"Yeah, they are."
"They did tell us this, didn't they?" Nobu remarked. "That they were being watched constantly?"
"Yeah, they did, but recorded as well? They didn't mention that?" Evalynn spoke up.
"Perhaps they didn't realise that," Nobu said. "They just thought they were being spied upon in general. I don't imagine they would have thought that the goal was distribution."
I looked over sharply at Nobu.
"Distribution?"
"Yes, well." Nobu shrugged. "It is hard to say for sure, but considering the recordings were kept like this, and considering the context, it makes it seems like they were being filmed with the intent of the footage being distributed for some reason."
"It seems like a lot of trouble to go through just to get a bunch of shots of teenagers undressing or showering."
"I was thinking that," Gabe said. "But the folder is called 'off-cuts', remember?"
"Yes, and?" Evalynn said, raising an eyebrow.
"So whatever the final product was, so to speak, these bits weren't part of that, but they were sold anyway-specifically, to an offender whose particular interests seem to be of the voyeuristic variety." Gabe explained.
"So somewhere out there, there's footage of everything else that went on in there?" I asked.
"That's the working theory." Gabe said.
"We're trying to cross-reference key features of the rooms they were in with any other videos that are on the more popular dark-web sites that people like that use. Nothing's come up so far, but we might get something if we widen our search."
This came from the female tech who had been with Aichi and Mashiro just before we came over, now sitting at a different computer.
I nodded at her.
"Keep doing that, and let me know if you manage to get anything-ah, there's one thing. Are you all sure that they are not deepfakes of some sort?"
"We checked for that, too." Aichi told us. "There's nothing out there, and no mainstream movie, TV show, music video, whatever that matches any of these clips. Plus, Detective Matsu bought up the crime scene photographs for comparison and they're a dead match. These are the real deal."
"The comparison pictures are up here, Superintendent Onoe!" Uchida called from the digital board.
Evalynn, who'd been perching on the empty desk next to us, immediately got up and went over to have a look. I decided that I would go and look in a moment. For the moment, I was trying to think this through. How could we have missed this as a possible motive? Was there anything back then that could have altered us to this? Even the survivors, who had been so reticent, had all said or indicated that they were being, at the very least, constantly watched. It had been easy to think of that simply as part of the terror inflicted on them, a way to keep them in line and not attempt to look for escape. But of course, that could still be true.
"Right, if we get a positive identification of at least one of them, that and the evidence you've found to verify that this is genuine footage should be enough for us to particularly pursue this lead. Detective Matsu, has this footage been traced as belonging to a particular owner?"
"Yes, it's apparently part of the merchandise of a repeat offender over in Fune, he's known for acquiring and distributing child pornography, though his last sentence ended a few years ago. They've got him in custody, but I can send you the details and try and get a contact with the detectives on that end of the case."
"Alright, if you go and do that for now, and then if you could bring Detective Arisato down here? We'll need him to make a positive identification of his wife."
"Ju-Wait, Superintendent, are you sure?" Evalynn called over. "This is going to destroy him."
I know it is. I know, I know.
"It does not need to be a drawn-out process," I said. "But time is of the essence, and he is in the building. I will ask Tsukuda-san next, but of course the situation is different there as he is a parent, and of course she was a victim. If you put together a few stills of her face, then that will be enough, We'll not need either of them to look at the videos."
"Yes, but-"
"It's fine, Evs," Nobu told her. "We'll look after her, you know that."
"Yes, well."
Evalynn glowered at me, but I decided to let it roll off of my back and did not respond as I normally would have to such impertinence. Evalynn's shoulders sagged and she turned back to the digital board.
"Ah, okay, I'll go and do that then. Do you know where he is?" Gabe asked.
"He should be in the incident room." I replied.
Gabe rubbed the back of his head, looking concerned, and then swiftly left the room. I turned back to the screen.
"The title these videos were under, do they give any more information?" I asked.
"Well, we're still not sure what 'GOD' is supposed to mean, whether we're taking it as the English word or an acronym of some sort, but 'off-cuts' is as we've talked about before and I suppose the 2019 is explanatory as well."
"Every video has been date-stamped so far," Aichi spoke up. "It looks like there are a couple per day, with the exception of May 30th 2019 which really only has a few clips of the seven survivors getting ready for the day."
"Are there any more of you in here?" I asked urgently, looking around, quickly trying to match the scared faces in front of me to the photographs that had practically been burned into my brain.
"U-uh, no, no there isn't, it's just us."
Eikichi blinked uncertainly, lowering his hands. I nodded at Matsuo and the other detectives with me, and then turned to the others, who were now getting up, leaving behind their breakfast. I noticed one girl with hair in a bun try to coax a girl whose eyes were unseeing into getting up.
"Alright, just come, quickly, quickly. We're going to get you out of here."
"What's the earliest date stamp?" I asked.
"April 11th, I think." Aichi took a few moments to check and then confirmed. "Yes, April 11th."
"Right, and the last known communications were April the 8th, so that means that they weren't in captivity straight away, right?" Nobu asked.
Evalynn looked up at this, and came to join us again, offering her own ideas:
"I mean, it was the consensus that they had been drugged, right? So they would have had to be taken somewhere for that, and then to the venue itself. It'd probably take about a day to cross from where the van was crashed to Shirohata, especially if you're travelling through woods and backroads like we'd probably assume the captor did."
"Longer, too, if you take into account they're trying to transport teenagers without transport, too." Nobu added. "Were there any accounts of unusual activity in the areas in-between during those dates?"
"You'll need to check that, as well." I said.
"Yep, yep, I'll make a note. And since we can now confirm that they had to have been abducted on April 8th, I can follow up on that as well. "
Nobu duly noted all this on his phone, and then at that moment the doors opened, and Gabe arrived with Juro.
…
Juro
I looked around me as Gabe talked with Shizuka, observing the screens and skimming the incident board. It did not take me long to notice the information relating to Mai and her friends, especially since Gabe had told me what it was that was happening.
"Here he is, guys," Gabe said. "I'm still trying to get through to the Detectives in Fune, but get this-the lead detective on the Kagohara case on their end is Shuichi Saihara. Should I try and interview him at the same time?"
"No, leave it for now. Things will get too complicated otherwise. If you can arrange another call to talk about his father once you've shared information about Kagohara, then that would be fine."
Gabe gave a thumbs-up to this and then closed the door again, leaving me behind.
"Come, come, sit down over here," the older of the techs over where Shizuka and the others were.
"I trust that Detective Matsu gave you an overview of the situation?"
"Yes," I said, taking a deep breath as I settled myself. "But truthfully, I'm not so sure….is it really alright for me to be…watching these?"
It was bad enough that Mai had been filmed like this in the first place, an indignity that I had already known about. It was even worse to know that they would have been watched for people who were gratified by such things. For me to watch too? That felt like one violation too far, even if she didn't know about me or the other people. Yet.
"I mean, it's not that big of a difference, right? She was still young when you married her." The younger of the two techs with us asked.
"Not that young." I protested. "She was an adult, still. But in whatever pictures she's in, she was still a minor. I'm not looking at bathroom images of a minor."
"Don't worry, " the older tech told me as he leaned over and clicked rapidly a few times. "We've just compiled a few different still images-we wouldn't actually do that, Aichi there just doesn't have filters."
"Might I remind you that you are on a case involving various abuses of minors, and that however close they may be to adulthood has no bearing on that? Do I need to ask your lieutenant to assign you elsewhere? "
Shizuka's frosty voice made the young tech eyes widen and he shuffled on the spot awkwardly before inclining his head.
"Of course not, Superintendent. I was out of line."
Shizuka nodded to indicate that she had heard and received the apology, but didn't soften her expression. I almost felt sorry for him, but not completely. Instead, he turned back towards the computer I was sitting at, and I did the same as the older tech finally bought up the stills. Evalynn patted my shoulder consolingly and then I steeled myself as I looked at the pictures.
Some were surprisingly innocent seeming-Mai combing her hair, tying it up in a bun. But even those were a jolt, even before looking at portrait shots where a glimpse of bare shoulder, the sheen of shower water, soap bubbles could all be seen. She'd already started going by 'Mai' by the time I met her again, though the official name change came only when the other half changed with marriage. And she'd cut her hair soon after our wedding - I'd have completely forgotten she had long hair once, if not for photographs. She had been a completely different person, back then, a person I never really got to know and probably never would. After all, perhaps if none of this had happened, she'd still be long haired Sadie. Maybe she would have grown it longer, developed a completely different sense of style. Perhaps, twenty years later, in this alternate universe where nothing had happened she'd look completely different to the woman I loved now.
But that would have also meant that she'd be a completely different person. And if she had, there would have been no guarantee that she and I would have met, let alone even ever loved each other. I wondered if she realised that. Did she, in some weird way, resent me for that? I was starting to resent myself for that, especially with the realisation that I was not going to be able to protect her, that our happily ever after wasn't enough to erase all this. Even before now, it hadn't been enough, because people still looked at her with me and remembered who she had been, and who I had been, and drew their own conclusions the way Aichi had.
"Detective Arisato?"
"Huh? Oh, yes, yes."
I cleared my throat, embarrassed at having spaced out so easily, and turned to Shizuka and the two techs.
"Yes, it's her."
"You seem sure." The older tech said.
"I am sure. That's definitely Mai."
I turned away, unable to look any longer, not caring about how that made me feel weak. There was a silence in the room, punctuated by the sounds of people working-keys clacking, a few papers rustling, movements of people crossing the room.
"Alright, thank you, Detective Arisato," Shizuka looked incredibly gave. "Wait outside the room for now, Detective Arisato, I will be with you in a moment."
Could this be? The part of me that was Mai's husband, and the part of me that was a detective battled in my mind, but in the end it was the former that won over. Please, let it be. I stood up, and tried to not look like I was fleeing. I noticed both Nobu and Evalynn give me a sorrowful smile, but I couldn't smile back at them. Instead I just powered on, and then leaned against the wall in the corridor outside, utterly spent. I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them and dug into my pocket for my phone, only to remember that I had left it in the desk drawer where I'd been working. Defeated, I just put my hands into my pockets and waited. A few moments later, Shizuka arrived out alone.
"Are you taking me off the case?" I asked almost immediately.
Shizuka regarded me for a moment.
"I will have to speak with the chief, and arrange transfer of someone else, but it will be likely that in the next few days that we'll temporarily transfer you to either another Homicide case, or to a section of the Kagohara case that does not overlap with Class 78-B. Until then, if you could keep doing the types of tasks like the ones I set you earlier, that would be fine. Detective Kurosawa will also direct you appropriately, and as for your partner, she'll assist you while you are still on the case, and then remain on it once you are elsewhere. Does that suffice?"
"Yes. Yes."
I couldn't hide my relief, which was embarrassing in front of the Superintendent of all people. I took a deep breath and inclined my head slightly.
"I apologise for being emotional."
"No need. You were in a tricky position."
I nodded at this, and then I asked.
"When will you be telling Mai and her friends about…"
I gestured back to the room. Despite having seen worse in relation to people so much younger, I could not give more words to what I had seen in there.
"Tomorrow morning." Shizuka told me.
"Right, so, I suppose I'll need to wait then."
"That would probably be for the best, unless you can be sure she won't inform the others until we have managed to-it's news better passed in a more controlled way."
I nodded at this, feeling my heart sinking.
"In any case," she continued. "If you wrap up whatever you are doing and go home for now, we will review your situation in the morning."
"Of course, Superintendent."
But of course, I knew that I couldn't go home. How could I, with this weighing over me? How could I bring this knowledge home with me, and not tell Mai a single thing until the morning, all while knowing that everyone else was still working? I couldn't do that. So, I went back to my desk, where I had been looking for the leads we needed to follow, and then put that information on one of our incident boards, before then saying goodbye to those still in the room, gathering up my things and leaving.
I headed to the office I shared with Evalynn, which was empty and dark. I didn't bother to turn on the light, figuring I could use the desk-light to get the things I needed. But instead of doing that, I sat down and turned my phone back on, only for the screen to flash bright with message after message, all from Mai. I listened and read all of them one at a time, and then sighed. I wanted so badly to just go home and hold her, tell her that everything would be fine, yet now more than ever I knew that I could not. Eventually, after a long moment of just sitting there, I sent her a message to tell her that I was staying here for the night, and then turned on my desk light to look for my spare clothes and my overnight things. Then, once I had found them, I took everything, turned the lights off, and headed over to the old police accommodations.