Chapter 19: Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered Part 2

Dawn stepped into the library, where she saw Chloe, Faith, Buffy and Giles waiting.

"Now that everyone is here," said Giles. "What happened?"

Chloe pulled out the card from the jewelry box and handed it to Giles. "None of us got any sleep, last night," she admitted. "While he can't come in since Dawn, Faith and I never invited him and Buffy can't since she doesn't live at Dawn's. Whatever soon means could be anything that doesn't need an invite."

"Was this the only thing that was delivered?" asked Giles.

"He sent me flowers, dead. Inside with the flowers was a jewelry box with a ruby necklace. That was in the jewelry box with the necklace," said Buffy.

"What did you do with the necklace?" he asked.

Chloe walked into the office and returned with her purse. She pulled the jewelry box out.

"I cast a spell to see if it was magical," Dawn said. "Nada."

"B needs to feel safe," said Faith. "How do we make sure she is or that he isn't targeting Dawn and the soon is referring that he intends to kill my girlfriend?"

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Cordelia was generally pretty happy with things. So far, today had been completely normal. She'd given Gwen advice on how to break up with John without jeopardizing her future on the pep squad. She'd convinced Dori not to wear that hideous butterfly pin, as only old people and last year's Dolce wearers wore butterflies. And they'd spent a good half hour talking about what a dork the guest lecturer for health class was.

The only exception had been the way everyone was laughing at Xander.

First of all, Cordelia Chase didn't need anyone to make fun of losers for her. Usually, the others followed her lead, they didn't try to take up the slack, like they were now. And she didn't see any need to hit Xander while he was down. It wasn't like with Mitch or Devon or any of the others, where they deserved ridicule after Cordelia broke it off. Unlike them, Xander had been paying sufficient attention to her.

It just didn't work out. One of those things that you realize and get on with your life.

Besides which, no one had ever giggled at Mitch or tittered at Devon.

Still, this was minor. In all other things, life was normal. She liked it.

Then she saw Xander walking toward her.

She started to go in the other direction, but Xander's big doofy legs worked in his favor, and he cut in front of her.

"Oh, c'mon, don't flatter yourself," Xander said coldly, "I'm not going to make a big scene. I just want the necklace back."

Cordelia's mouth fell open. "What? I thought it was a gift."

"No, last night it was a gift. Today, it's scrap metal. I figure I can melt it down. Sell it for fillings or something."

Aghast, Cordelia said, "You're pathetic." And she meant it. Maybe the others were right. How could he even think of taking the necklace back? Was he that petty? Just because the entire school was making fun of him, was that any reason to punish her by taking away her gift?

"C'mon," Xander said harshly, "I'm not going to add to the Cordelia Chase Cast-Off Collection."

That did it. She couldn't believe he was being so rotten. "It's in my locker," she said, stalling.

"I can wait."

Huffing, Cordelia went to her locker, and opened it all the way, blocking her from Xander's view.

As a general rule, Cordelia didn't wear button-down shirts. If she did, she did not button them all the way up to the neck. She had always been very proud of her clavicle, and saw no reason not to share it with the world. But today, she had put on a blue-and-white-striped shirt with a white collar and buttoned all the buttons.

It was the only way to wear the necklace without anyone seeing it.

She reached in under the collar and removed the hidden jewelry. She stared at the shiny silver heart.

Lots of guys had given her presents before. But, since they were from guys, they were generally ugly and/or useless. They were just to show that the guy in question was utterly devoted to her, which was all that mattered.

But this necklace was different. It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever given her.

And she was furious that she had to give it back.

Slamming the locker shut, she stomped over to Xander and practically shoved the necklace into his hand. "Here. It's a good thing we broke up. Now I don't have to pretend I like it."

Take that, she thought.

If Xander was insulted, he didn't show it, the creep. He looked too angry. Cordelia had never seen him this angry before.

Well, tough. If you're going to toy with my feelings, you pay the price.

They both stormed off in opposite directions, Cordelia never surer that breaking up with that vindictive little geek was the right thing to do.

Xander had been hoping that Amy would just wave her magic wand over the necklace, say, "Bim sallah bim" or something, and that would be it.

No such luck.

They had gone after dark to one of the chem labs, where Amy had drawn the female symbol in red on the floor. Then she instructed Xander to take his shirt off. After he did so, she used the same red paint to draw three symbols on his chest. Amy called them sigils, and said they were mystic letters. Then she handed him a thick candle, told him to light it, then sit within the symbol, cross-legged, holding the lit candle over his lap.

The reason for being in a chem lab was simple. It was one of the few places in the school where you could boil things. Apparently, several rather pungent herbs needed to be boiled in water in order for this to work.

Xander sat in the middle of the female symbol, candle in hand, feeling very exposed without his shirt. He kept casting furtive glances at the candle, worried about where the wax might drip. That candle was now the only light source in the room.

Amy stood in front of the boiling water, clutching Cordelia's necklace, and reading from a book whose mustiness was enough to make Giles's books look shiny and new.

"Diana, goddess of love and the hunt, I pray to thee. Let my cries bind the heart of Xander's beloved. May she neither rest nor sleep—" Amy dropped the necklace into the brew; a weird red smoke started shooting out of the beaker, providing another light source and casting sinister-looking shadows on her face, "until she submits to his will only. Diana! Bring about this love and bless it!"

Amy was shaking now, almost convulsing with, Xander assumed, mystical energy.

"Blow out the candle! Now!" she yelled.

He did so, and the room went dark.

"Great," Xander said after a moment. "Really. Good spell. Can I put my shirt on now?"

February 16, 1998 - Thursday

The next day, Xander went to school all prepared. Cordelia would profess her undying love for him. She would beg him to take her back.

And then he'd dump her.

He had an entire speech laid out. It had the one that went with the gift beat all to hell. It would be beautiful.

But first things first, Xander thought. Gotta get the ball rolling.

He found Cordelia sitting with a bunch of her lapdogs. He sauntered up to the little gathering and hovered near Cordelia.

Any moment now, she'll be begging me to take her back.

Any moment now.

Okay, maybe now.

Cordy continued gossiping, giving Xander the occasional sidelong glance, then finally snapping, "What?"

"Morning, ladies," he said with what he hoped was a seductive smile. "Some kind of weather we've been having, huh?"

"What do you want?" Cordelia asked. "You can't be sniffing around for more jewelry to melt, 'cause all you ever gave me was that Wal-Mart–looking thing."

Xander felt his crest falling. She's not following the Love Potion #9 script. He leaned in close to her. "Is this love? 'Cause maybe on you it doesn't look that different."

Cordelia could not believe that Xander was pulling this. She especially couldn't believe he was leaning into her personal space like that. Unless kissing was involved, she didn't even like that when they were dating, much less now.

Shoving him back, she asked, "What are you doing? Are you going, like, stalker-boy on me, now?"

"Sorry," Xander said, much more quietly this time. "My mistake."

"Yeah, I should say so."

With that, he went off.

Cordelia turned to Harmony. "What is his deal?"

Harmony, though, was looking at Xander as he went off with his tail between his gangly legs. "I know," she said. "Did he cut his hair or something? He looked halfway decent for a change."

Cordelia stared at Harmony in open-mouthed shock. "Halfway what?"

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Xander wandered morosely into the library after classes ended. The day hadn't been quite as miserable as yesterday, but it still rated a 9.5 on the Life-Sucks-O-Meter. After going to all the trouble to blackmail Amy, after sitting shirtless on a cold lab floor with red paint on his chest and candle wax dripping into his nether regions, he got bupkuss.

The sole consolation was that the ridicule had lessened. In fact, he thought, now that I think about it, it was just guys making fun of me today. The girls pretty much left me alone. What's up with that?

Sighing to himself, he thought, Well, at least things can't get any worse.

"Ah, here's another," the Watcher was reading bits out of some book or other. "Valentine's Day, yes, Nakamura nails a puppy to the—"

"Skip it. Don't want to know," said Dawn. "Don't need to be given a blow by blow on how he intends to kill my sister. I just need to know how to kill him."

"Right you are," Giles said, closing the book and getting up from the chair he had been sitting on the back of. "I'll get another batch."

As he went back to his office, Xander approached Dawn. "I have a plan. We use me as bait."

Dawn frowned. "You mean, make Nakamura come after you?"

"No, I mean chop me into little pieces and stick me on hooks for fish to nibble at, 'cause it would be more fun thanmy life."

"Yeah, I heard about you and Cordy. It's her loss."

Sighing, Xander said, "Not really the popular theory."

Dawn stood up and stared at Xander in a way she'd never stared at him before. "You know what I'd like? Why don't you and I go do something together tonight? Just the two of us."

"Really?" he said, surprised.

"Yeah. You could use some comforting."

Smiling, Xander asked, "Would lap dancing enter into that scenario at all? 'Cause I find that very comforting."

He had spoken facetiously as he knew that Dawn as not only gay but engaged to be married to Faith. So, the last thing in the world he expected was a serious response.

Dawn actually leaned close to him and ran her fingers over his chest. "Play your cards right . . ."

Xander blinked. "Dawn?" he said confused. "Your gay, remember?"

"Bisexual actually," answered Dawn. "Anyways I heard that you and Cordy broke up, and I guess I was surprised how glad I was. It's funny how you can see someone every day but not really see them, you know?"

"Yeah, it's funny," he said. "And it's just getting funnier."

Dawn looked like she was about to say something else, but was interrupted by Amy walking in. She looked a tad nervous.

"Xander, can I talk to you for a minute?"

His first instinct was to tell her to get lost, but it was bad form to blow off someone who'd cast a love spell for you, even if she did get it wrong.

And given the way Dawn's acting, maybe it's all for the best.

"Yeah, okay," he said to the Amy, then turned to Dawn. "Hold that thought."

Dawn smiled a seductive smile.

Xander followed Amy out of the library. As soon as the door closed, Amy said, "Xander, I don't think the spell worked out right."

"Oh yeah, it bombed. No biggie," Xander said dismissively. He stole a glance into the library to see Dawn staring right at him. Giles had come back in and was probably reciting another bit from Nakamura's Guide to Vampiric Stalking Techniques. But Dawn was obviously ignoring his every word.

"Well, we could always try again," Amy said. "I'm still pretty new at this."

"It's okay," Xander said, he was concerned for Dawn, big time concerned. She was definitely not acting like herself. Beside what would Faith think if she saw Dawn acting like this toward him.

"You know what?" he said. "It was wrong to meddle with the forces of darkness. I see that now. I think we've all grown. I gotta go."

But Amy wasn't finished. "Well, we don't have to cast any spells. We can just hang out."

"Sure," Xander said, then realized what, exactly, Amy was saying. "What?"

"Well, I liked spending time with you. You're so sweet. Y'know, it's funny how you can see a person every day and—"

"Not really see them?" Xander finished. He felt all the blood drain from his face.

"Exactly!" Amy said with a smile.

Xander glanced into the library again and it began to click. The way Dawn was acting, the spell had backfired. Instead of Cordelia being in love with them, it was everyone else instead, or at the very least Dawn and Amy.

"So anyway," Amy babbled on, "I thought it might be fun—"

"Hi, Xander?" someone interrupted.

Xander turned to see one of the Cordettes—Kimberley? no, it was Katie—staring at him. She had blond hair in a kind of U-shape style that was popular in the fifties and was coming back now for no good reason that Xander could see.

"What?" Xander asked, dazed.

"You're in Mr. Baird's history class, right? I thought maybe we could study together tonight." Katie smiled the same smile as the other two. This is bad.

"Do you mind?" Amy asked snappishly. "We were talking."

Xander realized it was everyone and not just Amy and Dawn. He felt a sudden need to be far away from the female population of Sunnydale High. "I really gotta go right now," he said, quickly taking his leave of Amy and Katie.

He had to try and figure this out, normally Dawn would have been the one to go to since his friend was a witch on top of being the Slayer. He was sure she could have reversed Amy's spell. But with the fact she was under the spell that nixed her.

So to give himself time to think he hurried home where he hoped he would be safe from any women, with the exception possibly of his mom. He closed the door of his room. He turned and frowned as he saw a body in the bed.

Life on the Hellmouth had given Xander's already fertile imagination plenty of ideas as to who or what could've been in his bed. As a result, it was almost a relief when it just turned out to be Willow hiding under the covers.

Almost.

Xander leaped from the bed in abject terror before Willow poked her head out. "Sorry," she said. "I wanted to surprise you."

She didn't sound like Willow. She sounded like—

Like Dawn, Amy, and Katie all did.

"Good job," he said, feeling very much surprised. "High marks."

"Don't be so jumpy. I've been in your bed before."

"Yeah, but Will, we were both in footie pajamas."

Willow sat up, and Xander noticed that she was wearing one of his shirts. "Xand, I've been thinking," she started.

Xander frowned, Willow was under the effects of the spell as well. "Will, I think I know what you've been thinking, but this is all my fault. I cast a spell and it sort of backfired."

"How long have we been friends?" Willow asked.

Great, she hasn't heard a word I said. "A long, long time. Too long to do anything that might change that now."

"Friendships change all the time. People grow apart. They grow closer."

"This is good, how close we are now," Xander said quickly, hoping some of this would penetrate, knowing full well that it wouldn't. "I feel very comfortable with this amount of closeness. In fact, I could even back up a few paces and still be happy." He stepped backward to the door. "See?"

Willow got up out of the bed and walked toward him, then started unbuttoning the buttons on the shirt.

Xander also couldn't help but notice that she wasn't wearing anything other than the shirt.

"I want you Xander, to be my first."

"Baseman? Please tell me we're talking baseball."

"Shhhh. We both know it's right," she said as she pinned him up against the door.

"It's not that I don't find you sexy—" Xander started.

"Is it Oz? Don't worry about him. He's sweet, but he's not you."

Xander clutched at that. "Yes, he is! And you should go to him. 'Cause he's me."

Willow ignored that. Instead she nibbled Xander's ear. He pushed her away and said, "That's it. This has gotta stop. It's time for me to act like a man. And hide."

With that, he dashed out the door.

February 17, 1998 - Friday

Cordelia went to school on the morning of the seventeenth hoping for another ordinary day. Things had gotten so much better since she got over whatever virus she had that made her think dating Xander Harris was a good idea.

So, she was more than a little taken aback when Harmony, Katie, Laura, and Dori all gave her the cold shoulder.

Assuming it to be some kind of practical joke, she said, "Ha. Very funny. What did I do now, wear red and purple together?"

"You know what you did," Harmony said, cold as an iced cappuccino. "Xander is wounded because of you."

They started to walk away. Cordelia stared after them. "Are you tripping? I thought you wanted me to break up with him."

"Only a sick pup would let Xander get away, no matter what her friends said."

With that, they all turned on their heels and walked off.

Cordelia couldn't believe it. "What does it take to make you people happy?" she cried.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

If someone had told Xander that the most hellish day of his seventeen-year-old life would be the day that every girl in Sunnydale High School desperately wanted him, he'd have sent for the doctors in the white coats.

By now, he should have learned the universal truth of the phrase be careful what you wish for, you might get it. If nothing else, his "dream date" with that substitute teacher Ms. French should've driven that point home with large praying mantis–sized mandibles.

On this day, he got more propositions, expressions of devotion, and lines about how you see someone every day but don't really see them than he'd gotten in the previous seventeen years of life. I've had more of that in any ten-minute period than in the last seventeen years.

Far worse, though, were the looks he was getting from the guys. A kind of I'm going to kill you look.

The look Rodney Munson used to give him in class to let Xander know that his function after school would be to act as Rodney's punching bag.

By the end of the day, he couldn't take it anymore. He had tried to talk to Amy about reversing the spell, but she didn't pay attention to a word he said, preferring to carry on about Xander's eyes.

So, he did the only thing he could do.

He ran to Giles.

"Xander, what is it?" the Watcher asked as Xander entered the library. He sounded concerned—obviously Xander's agitation was written all over his face.

"It's me. Throwing myself at your mercy."

"What? Why?"

Taking a deep breath, Xander said, "I made a mess, Giles. See, I found out that Amy's into witchcraft. And I was hurt, I guess, so I made her put the love whammy on Cordy. But it backfired. And now every woman in Sunnydale wants to make me her cuddle-monkey. Which may sound swell on paper, but—"

"Giles, I've been thinking," said Chloe as she passed Xander. "Hey, Xander." She turned to Giles, then turned back to Xander.

"Nice shirt," she added, then turned back to Giles. "I've been thinking about Nakamura—" She cut herself off, then stared at Xander again. "Have you been working out?" She felt his bicep.

Xander indicated Chloe with his head and gave Giles a see what I mean? look.

Giles looked befuddled at first, but as soon as he saw Chloe go from her normal self to a fawning Xanderphile right in front of his eyes, he grew livid.

Yanking Chloe forcibly away from Xander's side, he said in a low, dangerous tone, "I cannot believe that you are fool enough to do something like this."

"Oh no," Xander said resignedly. "I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this."

"Has, uh, has Amy tried to reverse the spell?"

"I get around Amy and all she wants to do is talk honeymoon plans."

"Giles," Chloe said, "maybe I need to talk to Xander alone."

"Do you have any idea how serious this is?" Giles asked, again in the low tone. Xander would've preferred yelling, as this tone of voice was several orders of magnitude scarier. "People under a love spell are deadly. They lose all capacity for reason. And if what you say is true, and the entire female population is affected . . ." He trailed off, then said forcefully, "Don't leave the library. I'll find Amy and see if we can put a stop to this thing."

Giles moved to leave, stopped, grabbed Chloe, and dragged her off with him. She was very reluctant to go.