Gambler of Feelings - Chapter 21
The latest family dinner and private conversation with Boruto left Sarada alone with her thoughts. She was dying to tell someone about her recent surge of emotions. On her way to the club, she noticed Mitsuki spacing off for an unknown reason. What's he doing? He should enter the clubroom instead of blocking the entrance.
"Why are you blocking the door and not entering inside?" she asked.
"Shh!" Mitsuki put an index finger on his lips. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk with you. Let's go somewhere else."
Sarada nodded in confusion, curious about where they were heading. She remembered her promise to Chō-Chō. Her focus ended up on Boruto, but she still had to help resolve the problems between other club members. A wave of regret hit her. She neglected to help sort out their conflicts, as she initially pledged. Hearing Mitsuki out now should count as the first step towards fulfilling it.
They ended up in the courtyard behind the school building. Mitsuki grabbed her hand and led her to sit on the first bench they found. Sarada used her hand to play with her hair, fidgeting slightly. She wished Boruto or Chō-Chō were with her here. In their presence, she avoids slipping into her old habits. It was like her past social-interaction track record stopped mattering.
How long does Mitsuki plans to stay silent?
The conversations always flow naturally with Chō-Chō.
The subject moves to their hobbies with Sumire.
She felt at ease with Boruto. He was the club president. Regardless of her early attitude towards him, he often included her in group activities.
None of the above applied to Mitsuki. They're bound to have some common ground, right?
"Do you wish to talk now or what?" Sarada broke the silence.
"Yes. I have a question for you."
"Go ahead, Mitsuki."
"You love Boruto, right?"
At first, Sarada thought she had misheard him. He threw this line out of the blue, as if he was talking about the weather instead of saying she loves someone in that situation.
"Why you're asking?" She fired the question back at him.
Sarada needed to know if her mind was playing a trick on her.
"You're a girl unlike me. Your insight is something I need in my situation."
"Aren't you closer to Chō-Chō or Sumire? If you need a girl's opinion, they're a good choice."
"It makes little sense to consult them when they're the ones involved." Mitsuki smiled.
"Ah," she gasped, hit with a sudden understanding. "Is it related to the fight at Sports Festival? The one Boruto tried to intervene in?"
Sarada tried not to scowl at the memory. She remembered her panic when Boruto asked her to help him and the way she let him down in her bout of anxiety. That she made him potentially upset, then realised her growing feelings. The worst part of the day was the group fight.
"Yes. I knew you'd be the best person to reach out for this case."
"Alright, I'll listen to what bothers you." Sarada smiled to reassure him.
"I was confessed to," he said while she nodded, allowing him to continue. "I rejected them both too, but..."
"But?" Sarada's curiosity piqued.
"They're my close friends, unlike people I rejected before."
That's what bothers him? Sarada wasn't an expert in the subject of romance, but isn't rejecting them both better than leading them on? Giving them false hope would be cruel, more so than the pain of rejection. At least that's what she thinks.
"What's the difference? In both scenarios, you either hurt someone else's feelings or give them the needed closure to move on. Why does it bother you?" Sarada pried further.
She either missed something, or her approach to giving him advice had a blind spot.
"That might be the case, but you risk more responding to feelings of someone you consider a friend, compared to someone you consider a stranger."
Ah, that was what she missed. She shouldn't focus too much on the perspective of the rejected party.
The person, which perspective she'd need to focus on, was the one that rejected their feelings instead. It wasn't a realisation she felt proud of, considering that should be her approach from the start.
"Are you afraid your rejection made a rift in your friendship with them?" she asked, wondering if it hurt Mitsuki to reject the love of his close friends.
How would Boruto feel if he rejected her feelings? Not that she'd confess. She was too afraid to make any move. Sarada wasn't even sure if it was love or fleeting fascination. She thinks it's love, but maybe she misidentified it for love instead?
"You're right, I'm afraid they'll stop seeing me as their friend, now that things soured between us," Mitsuki sighed.
"Let it rest for a while, and your friendship won't feel awkward anymore."
Sarada wasn't sure if she tried to convince him or herself that everything could turn back to normal.
"You think so?" Mitsuki sounded hopeful, and Sarada would hate to crush that hope.
"Yes. As long as you all put in the effort to maintain your friendship, even feelings that are fresh and hurt them now can turn into fond memories in the future." Sarada paused, realising the weight of her words.
If she'd put in enough effort to express herself and talk to others, perhaps... She'd have more fond memories in life.
"I think I understand. Kinda. Human emotions are so complicated." Mitsuki smiled while mouthing 'thank you,' and walked away.
Her first conversation with Mitsuki outside of the clubroom was exhausting. It helped reevaluate her own feelings, too.
Perhaps she should put more effort into expressing herself to everyone close to her. She moved on from the past, right?
Sarada retraced her steps back to the clubroom, but earlier meeting with Mitsuki weighed on her mind. She wasn't aware Chō-Chō saw him in a romantic light. Warning signs appeared. Silly jokes fired off at her the other day about her friend's attraction to him made sense. Hell, she's sure they were direct, too. She focused too much on herself to notice.
She sighed. There were people she required to speak to, setting aside her personal turmoil. Chō-Chō was first on that list. She desired to hear the girls out before deciding what to do next.
Sarada was grateful for Chō-Chō's request a few months ago. They needed to clear things up on her side. Back then, despite her biased judgement, she accepted to join the club to fulfil the initial favour.
Was it viable her friend knew everything? Impossible, right? She ought to ask her a lot of questions now.
Opening the door, she found Chō-Chō was already sitting on a chair in the clubroom. Her friend held a teenage magazine in her hands, seemingly absorbed in reading it. Sarada silently crept up on her, taking the magazine away.
"Hey!" Chō-Chō pouted, crossing her arms off. "I got to the interesting part!"
"Hello to you too."
"Stop with that smug grin, Sarada!"
"What grin? Are you sure you're paying attention to me?"
"I do! Ugh, what do you want, you devil?!"
"Serious conversation with you. Right now. I'll give you your magazine back once we're finished."
Sarada knew she reeled Chō-Chō in like a fish on a hook. Her friend groaned, in the end sighing in defeat.
"Fine. You're no fun, Uchiha!"
Well, while she hooked her in, Chō-Chō was in a grumpy mood today. Perfect. That should speed up the matter.
"My pleasure, Akimichi. Are we alone now?" Sarada asked.
"Yes. Boruto messaged me he'll be late today. Shikadai and Sumire are stuck helping the club supervisor at the moment. No idea where Mitsuki is."
That cleared up everyone's whereabouts for Sarada.
"Ah. I bumped into him earlier. We split off in opposite directions. It's unlikely he'll attend today."
Chō-Chō avoided eye contact with her at the mention of Mitsuki. His rejection hit her hard, huh?
"Anyway," Sarada picked up from where she left off. "Let us move on to the subject."
"Hurry up, Sarada. I want to continue what I was doing one minute ago." Chō-Chō began tapping the desk with her thumb.
"Impatient much?" she teased her, then moved to the point. "When you requested for me to help our club, did you know Boruto knew Asami too?"
Sarada wanted to know the answer. Chō-Chō widened her eyes in surprise at the question.
"Why you want to know?"
"Just give me an answer."
"Yes, I knew. That's why I asked you for help. Are you satisfied now?"
"No." Sarada was far from satisfied. It left her with more questions than answers about Chō-Chō's motives.
"Figures. Are you mad at me for hiding it from you?"
"Of course I am! You know what happened in the past!"
"I know what happened, but not the full details, Sarada. You weren't keen on sharing them, remember?" Chō-Chō snorted.
"That's a fair point, but if I knew Boruto dated her in the past, then I- "
"Then you'd avoid him more than you already did. Admit it, Sarada. You're only confronting me about this now because you've changed."
It was a hard pill to swallow, but Chō-Chō was right. Sarada would avoid Boruto with more vigilance if she knew his past involved Asami. She did attempt to avoid meeting him since the Game Tournament. He didn't remember seeing her there, but she knew he was the participant there back then... No. She shouldn't dwell on the past any longer than necessary.
"Is it bad I've changed?"
"Not really. I think it's a change in a good direction."
"I see, then there's no problem, even if I'd prefer to know your real motives for asking me to help."
"Well, aside from telling you small white lies here and there, I was honest about everything else. I omitted certain details too. I didn't tell you about Boruto being the club president or Asami being involved, but can you blame me? You'd interrogate me like you're doing now."
"I cannot deny your claims." Sarada looked away. Aside from her being a bit upset, it cleared up some of her doubts. "You can have your magazine back."
Sarada gave back the magazine to Chō-Chō, the girl was evidently happy this conversation ended. Asking her friend about her crush on Mitsuki needs to wait until they're both in a better mood.
"Do you plan to wait for Boruto?" Chō-Chō lifted her gaze away from the magazine she got back.
"Yes. That's obvious I will." Sarada responded. A giggle escaped her friend's lips.
"Confess to him before you get friend zoned!"
"W-WHAT?!" However, before Sarada had any other appropriate response, Chō-Chō dashed off outside of the clubroom.
"This girl is unbelievable!" Sarada screamed, left alone frustrated.
You cannot get friend-zoned if you don't plan on confessing, anyway! She answered in her mind, while waiting for Boruto.
Honestly, how long is she supposed to wait? What makes him so busy? That idiot!
Sarada walked in circles, not knowing what to do with herself. She fell for him, didn't she? Her past self would laugh at her. Judged her even for interacting with someone she tried to avoid.
"I am hopeless! It's not that I like him or anything. Totally. I'm not in love, not in love..." Her voice got lower with every word.
Sarada buried her head in the palms of her hands. She really was hopeless. Why does she keep on denying what she feels? It's not like Boruto was cruel. He was the opposite of that.
"It's all because of them! All those talks about love problems!" Sarada lifted her head to slap her cheeks. "Get a grip, Sarada. It's not like you at all."
She stopped pacing around the room. Yes, she admitted her feelings to herself. What happens when she says them out loud? There'll be no escape route for her to turn to, right? Net of safety, she often clings to, called rules that won't be there to help her from getting hurt, like the last time when Asami framed her.
Was abandoning that safety net the correct course of action?
Boruto's not Asami. What was she afraid of? She wants to know him better.
"I love Boruto. I can't deny it now out loud, can I?" she whispered to herself. Her attempt to bury her feelings for him failed.
She can't hold back anymore. Getting it out in the open was weirdly liberating. Chō-Chō was right all along. She changed.
Sarada Uchiha was a mess. Lucky that Boruto didn't walk on her when she was talking to herself. She'd die from embarrassment. Huh, he really was late today, like Chō-Chō warned her. Should she stay or go home?
Boruto entered the clubroom holding a gift bag. Was it his reason for being late? Who does he plan to give it to? He put the bag carefully on the table and then noticed her presence.
Sarada, like a fool, waited for him longer than she planned. She perked up when she saw the person she was staying here for.
"Yo, Sarada, sorry I am late," he greeted her.
"No need to apologise," she answered. "I was waiting for you, knowing that you'll come late today."
"Oh. That's nice, ya know! You're much more of a softie compared to my first impression of you."
"Hmph. What's that supposed to mean?!" Sarada frowned.
"Nothing bad, I swear! You're just more approachable compared to before." Boruto smiled sheepishly.
"If you say so." Sarada looked at the gift bag. "What's inside? I hope you don't mind me asking."
Boruto followed her gaze to the bag. He mumbled about forgetting to do something. Sarada had a fun time observing him jumping towards the object and taking something out of it.
A phone case and a box?
"Here for you!" Boruto inched closer to her, making her blush. He's too close!
"Thank you! Is that why you were late?"
"Yeah! Do you remember we were supposed to buy you a new phone? Well, we didn't do that, so I wanted to surprise you, ya know?"
"I completely forgot! Thank you so much!" Sarada was happy, so happy that she pulled him into a hug.
"L-let go, Sarada! You're killing me!"
"Ah, I'm sorry!" she said, pulling herself away from him.
"What's up with you today? You're usually calmer." Boruto raised his eyebrow.
"I just got excited. Won't happen again." She didn't intend to have a similar outburst of happiness anytime soon.
"Too bad. It's fun to see you smile." Boruto teased her, but she brushed it off.
"Before you ask, we're alone. The others already went home after they learned you'll be late."
"Aww. That's too bad. Let's just wrap up the meeting for today. Thank you for staying."
"No problem... Do you plan to give me your number?"
Right. Boruto bought her a phone. All the things like a charger were in the gift bag too. She'll take care of the rest and unpack everything at home.
"Oh, yeah. Here." He gave her a piece of paper with his contact info. Sarada thought he was adorable right now. Not that she'd tell him this.
"Well, with that settled, we have overcome major roadblock between us, right?" She sighed. It felt like yesterday when they were at each other's throats.
"Looks like it." Boruto gave her a thumbs out. "Friends?"
"No," she answered, surprising herself. "Why don't we try to be more than friends? Would you like to go out on a date?"
Yes, Sarada Uchiha was a mess. Why did she say it? Stupid idea. She didn't even confess! Stupid love talks got her in a specific mood!
"EHHH?!" Boruto yelled while turning into a statue. "You're asking me out?!"
It looks like he didn't fully realise what was happening.
"Yes, I just invited you to date. Are you in or not?"
Once Sarada stepped down on her pride by fully accepting her feelings, there was no longer any brakes. Everything else depended on how Boruto will answer her.
Sarada Uchiha was officially a mess. It only occurred to her now she might've acted on her feelings for him too fast.
What she should do if he says no?!
AN:
Hello, everyone!
During the last chapter update I wasn't in my best state of mind, but I did recover! Grieving process took me just longer than I anticipated. I did want to make this chapter longer than former one too, so we get a lot of (I hope) quality interactions with Sarada at the front!
If I predicted this right, GoF has a bunch of chapters to go to wrap stuff up, then the story should end up being completed this year! Woo-hoo! We're approaching the moments I am very excited for too.
I also did some stuff before posting the current update. Like making Carrd page with my update schedule. It's barebones for now, but here's the link: rumiupdateschedule
Check it out!
I do cross-post, but I took a lot of liking to A03, haha. Certain works of mine didn't even end up being cross-posted here either, since I'll get to it later. Eventually, I hope.
Before you ask me, I estimated the next chapter should be updated on July 1st or 4th. Same time, same day, same timezone.
As for this chapter. Upon proofreading/editing I realised this chapter has many fishing metaphors. 😂
Well, at least they're fun. With that said, thank you for supporting me this far!
Yours sincerely, Karinrumi :)