Chapter 7: Nosce Te Ipsum*

28 August 1997

12 Grimmauld Place

When Hermione woke up, she noticed two things. First, her head wasn't throbbing. For the first time in days, her mind wasn't immediately overwhelmed by sounds and smells. And second, something close by smelled really good. Like the woods just after rain, like old books and some kind of dark spice that she couldn't place. It smelled like security and safety.

Hermione climbed out of bed and followed her nose. She exited her room and started padding down the hallway, coming to a stop just outside of Remus' room. Without realizing just where she was or what she was doing, Hermione pushed open the door and entered the room.

Suddenly the smell was everywhere. It fell over her like a blanket, all-encompassing. Hermione closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

"Hermione?" Remus appeared from behind the door to his closet, shocked to see Hermione in his room. Concern was etched across his face.

When Hermione opened her eyes, a fiery gold had taken over her normally brown eyes. Remus stepped back. This was the first time Hermione's inner wolf had shown itself. All her previous sparks of anger had only hinted at the beast within. After composing himself, Remus stepped forward in curiosity.

"Hermione? What are you doing?"

She was standing perfectly still, but her eyes were grazing over Remus like a lioness on the hunt. Her body position changed infinitesimally to one more confident, more in control. Then she started to move again toward Remus, her steps sure and intentional. Remus froze.

"Er, Pup?"

She reached Remus, the top of her head coming up to the middle of his chest. She stepped even closer and looked up into his eyes. Still the fiery gold burned. Without a word, Hermione stroked one hand up and down Remus' left arm. She cocked her head to the side before running both hands up his chest. She continued her study of his upper torso before unbuttoning the top button on Remus' shirt. Remus looked down at the witch and finally snapped to attention. He grabbed Hermione's hands and pushed her away gently.

"Pup, stop." Remus' voice was deeper and rougher than usual. His tone was strong and commanding. "Hermione, you need to fight her for control. Control yourself."

Like a well-trained soldier following orders, Hermione immediately pulled away from Remus. The gold shrunk back from her eyes as they widened in horror. She looked down at her hands before looking at Remus.

"Oh my—Oh, Remus, I'm so sorry! I have no idea what came over me." A deep blush settled on her cheeks as she stammered through a pseudo-explanation. "I just woke up to some wonderful smell and then I followed it and then—"

"It's okay, Hermione. You don't need to be embarrassed. Remember, I've been through this all myself."

"Ho-How did you get me to stop?"

"I'm your creator," Remus practically spit the word. "Right now, you—as a werewolf—you're weak and impressionable. As your creator, I have a sort of command over you."

"Really?" Hermione's intellectual side quickly making her recover from her embarrassment. "So anything you tell me to do, I'll do?"

"No! I mean, it's not like that. It's—Think of it this way. Whenever your wolf takes over your mind, say just a moment ago or during the full moon, Moony can pull rank on her. It won't always work. You'll learn to fight me just like everything else, but for now, it's pretty effective."

"So, just a second ago… that was Moony?"

"Yes."

"I didn't know you could do that, let him out like that."

"It's not easy. I've been a werewolf practically all my life, and I rarely, if ever, let him out like that. It takes a lot of control to keep Moony on a short leash. It's better to just shut him out."

"Wow." Hermione stared at Remus in awe. "Oh, er, I guess I should be going. Thanks for stopping me, Remus."

"Of course."

"And c-can we maybe try not mention this to everyone else?"

"Of course, Hermione."

Hermione smiled and started to walk back to her room. As she sighed and breathed back in, she remembered something and stopped. "Oh, Remus, I have another question. Why do you smell like that? I mean, the way you smell to me, it's not like a normal smell. You kind of smell like feelings, if that makes sense. Like safety."

Remus' heart leapt at Hermione's words, but he fought to appear unfazed.

"It's because we're connected. We're the same lineage. Since I'm technically your Alpha, my smell should reflect that. Comfortable, safe, familiar. To me, your smell makes me feel strong and protective." Remus blushed slightly at his words, but Hermione smiled softly before leaving the room in silence.

When she got back to her room, Hermione climbed back into bed. She hid her face in the pillows and groaned before rolling onto her back and trying to push the memory of her ambushing Remus out of her mind. Oh Merlin! What had she thinking? She hadn't been thinking, that's what. But why? This loss of control... It's not like she even found Remus attractive

A small voice in the back of her head answered. Or do you?

Oh bollocks. Well, of course, she could admit that she was capable of recognizing that she was an attractive man. He was smart, kind, and didn't treat her like a child. But she didn't have a crush on him or anything. There was third year, but that was silly. A schoolgirl's crush. But she'd got over that ages ago. But still, if that level of attraction elicited that kind of reaction… Hermione groaned again. Maybe she should stay in her room forever.

When Hermione didn't come down for breakfast, there wasn't much concern, but when lunch came around and still no Hermione, Harry and Ron started to worry. Sirius seemed to show a bit of concern as well, but Remus just kept brushing off their comments.

"Remus, come on, mate. What's going on with Hermione?"

"Fine. There was a bit of an incident this morning, and I'm sure Hermione is embarrassed over it. I suggest we respect her privacy and let her come down when she's ready."

"What kind of incident?" Ron asked.

"Er, oh, right. Just a, you know, an incident."

Harry and Ron shared a look. Then, Harry looked at Sirius questioningly. Sirius shook his head and turned to his best friend.

"Come on, Moony, they're not going to leave you alone until you tell them."

"I can't."

"Moony."

"Padfoot."

"It can't be that bad."

Remus didn't answer, but a faint blush started to bloom across his face. Sirius cocked his head to the side and then proceeded to burst out laughing.

"Don't tell me. Oh Merlin. Poor Pup." Each sentence was broken up by a small fit of laughter. "Oh Merlin, she's probably upstairs dying of embarrassment."

"Can someone please explain what is going on?" Harry finally spoke up, exasperated at the lack of communication.

Remus sighed. "Well the good news is that Hermione is no longer overwhelmed by her heightened senses, so she can now focus on specific sounds or smells. But, the bad news is that, er, she can't quite control her emotions and, er, reactions to certain, er, things."

"What?" Harry and Ron asked at the same time, both clearly confused.

"Basically, Hermione's gone a bit boy-crazy." Sirius laughed. Remus hit him over the back of his head. "What? I'm guessing she came onto you, didn't she?"

Remus glared at Sirius, as Harry and Ron tried to process this new information.

"I'm sorry, what?" Ron had a truly incredulous look plastered on his face. Harry was trying not to laugh. "What?"

"It's not as simple as all that, Pads. The wolf heightens all kinds of senses and emotions," Remus began, getting into lecture-mode. "Hermione has been experiencing all of that already. But what also occurs is the increase in instinct. While, for example, you all may see a pretty girl and have little inclination to do anything, a werewolf has to fight his instincts so as not to act inappropriately. Shame and restraint are human emotions. Hermione doesn't have control yet, and she hasn't experienced her first full moon, so her inner wolf is essentially roaming free right now."

"Yeah, but why did she come onto you?" Ron probably didn't mean to sound so insulting, but Harry nudged him all the same. Ron mumbled a slight apology.

"It has nothing to do with her actual feelings." Remus sighed, but avoided the eyes of the younger boys all the same. "Basically Hermione is going to have a hard time controlling herself around anyone."

"So, that's why she's still upstairs."

"Exactly, Harry. I think she's embarrassed over how she would act if she came down here and sat in a room with all of us."

The room fell silent.

An hour and a half later, Harry called to Hermione from the bottom of the stairs.

"Hermione? You've got to be hungry. Can I bring you anything?"

A heavy pause followed.

"Okay. Just give me a minute!"

Harry gathered some food together on a plate and grabbed a mug of tea. He waited at the bottom of the stairs for Hermione to invite him up.

"Okay, you can come up!"

Taking the stairs slowly and eyeing the mug of tea so none spilled over, Harry finally reached Hermione's door. He pushed the door open with his foot and couldn't help but chuckle at the sight that was waiting for him. Hermione had on gloves covering her hands and a sleep mask covering her eyes. She had transfigured something into a nose plug and was sitting quietly on the edge of her bed.

"You know you look ridiculous, right?"

"I know Remus told you all what happened. Werewolf hearing, remember? I'm just taking precautions. Despite you basically being my brother, I do recognize you're not horrible looking so I'm not taking chances."

"Gee Hermione, you really know how to compliment a guy," Harry laughed, before moving to sit beside her. He set the mug and plate down on the bedside table.

"And you're going to wear this all the time now? Start a new trend?"

"Oh, ha-ha, very funny, Harry. Go on, laugh at the silly werewolf." Hermione huffed before descending into laughter herself. The two laughed heartily before their laughter fell into giggles, which fell into silence.

"Harry?"

"Uh huh."

"This isn't working."

Harry stood up suddenly. "The face mask?"

"Oh, no, no! No, that's working. No, I meant this. Me, being here, dealing with this."

"Oh."

Hermione fell back onto her bed. "I think you and Ron should take Sirius with you to the Ministry."

"But Hermione—"

"Think about it, Harry. I'm a risk right now. I'm out of control. One second, I'm me, Hermione, but the next I could be a raging werewolf or-or worse, this exaggerated version of Lavender Brown." She sat up again as Harry chuckled. "It's not funny, Harry. There's too much at stake. If I went, I could cost us the necklace or worse. I'm not going to do that to you."

"Okay, Hermione, I'll talk to Ron and Sirius."

"Thank you."

Hermione waited until she heard Harry's footsteps hit the kitchen floorboards before she removed the nose plug and eye mask. As she ate the food Harry had brought, she thought about the conversation she needed to have with Remus. She'd thought about it all day, and the choice was already made. She needed to leave her boys. The search for the horcruxes was too important to be jeopardized by her mood swings. She needed Remus to take her away.

Chapter Title Translation: *Know Thyself